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Kanna jumped cheerfully off the school bus steps, shoes bouncing on the pavement as she went to walk with her sister. “Kugie!” She started excitedly. “Kanna wants to go get ice cream!”
Kugie reached inside her bag, shuffling around and finding a good amount of spare money from her allowance. “Alright,” she smiled as they started to walk. “It is your birthday after all. What are you, thirteen?” Kanna looked up at her and nodded with wide eyes. “Crazy how the time flies...” Kugie commented, with a combination of a sigh and a chuckle.
“Yep! Kanna is a teenager now! And one day she’ll be just as old as you,” Kanna exclaimed, smiling ear to ear.
“And when you do, I’ll make sure you have the best party ever.” She said as she ruffled Kanna’s hair, her small hair clips jingling as Kanna giggled. “But for now, all I can do is ice cream.”
“That’s enough for Kanna!” She assured her sister as they approached the store.
While they walked through the door, Kugie asked her the same question she did every time they bought ice cream. “Are you planning to get the same thing as usual?” And as always, she got the answer she was expecting.
“Yes!”
And as they stood by the counter, Kugie asked her a question she hadn’t asked before. “Do you want to try ordering it this time? Since you’re a teenager and all.”
Kanna vigorously shook her head at that. "No! Ordering food makes Kanna nervous...”
Kugie light heartedly rolled her eyes as she took the yen out of her bag. “Okay, I’ll order it then.” She paused as Kanna sighed in relief. “But when you turn as old as me, you’re going to have to start ordering food on your own.” She added sternly, but in the kind of way of just wanting the best for her little sister.
“But Kanna’s not as old as you yet!” Kanna playfully retorted.
“Guess I can’t argue with that,” Kugie chuckled as she laid her money on the counter. “Two vanilla ice creams, please.” Kanna looked up at her sister, almost inspired by her confidence. She made everything seem simple.
“With sprinkles!” Kanna added.
“With sprinkles.”
And shortly after ordering, Kugie was handing her a cone of vanilla ice cream with an endearing smile. “Here you go.”
Kanna eagerly took it, taking a moment to admire the pretty colors of the sprinkles that decorated the ice cream, before taking a huge enthusiastic bite of it. Kugie giggled at seeing the bottom half of her little sister’s face smothered in ice cream, and Kanna broke out into giggles as well. She loved seeing Kugie happy.
“Happy birthday, Kanna.”
“Thank you, Kugie!” Kanna gushed, one hand holding her cone and one hand holding her sister’s.
But that was a hand that she would never get to hold again.
But she was grateful for the hand she was holding now. She had felt bad waking Sara up in the middle of the night, but she was just too nervous. She had dragged her to the lobby, where it was dimly lit, save for the windows which showed clouds among a dark sky, a fake illusion of nighttime but an oddly welcome one. For however eerie it seemed, it was silent and calm.
Just as expected, there stood the lady dressed like soda with her large whipped cream hat. When kanna looked at her face, the tears flowing down her eyes that laid dark eye bags, she could see herself in the small doctor’s mirror the doll wore, and was pained to see such a similar sight staring back at her. She quickly turned her head to look up at Sara, who gave her an affirmative nod back before stating, “Kanna would like a vanilla ice cream,” in a tone stone cold enough to order safalin but endearing enough to comfort the girl whose hand she was holding.
“Okayyy,” the doll responded as she dipped her head below the brim of her hat and walked off.
Once she was out of vision, kanna’s grip on Sara’s hand tightened, then she quickly embraced Sara in a hug, breaking into a quiet weep. Sara returned the hug, softly patting kanna on the back.
“I’m here, Kanna… I’m here.” Sara knew all too well the aching that came with losing someone who supported her. She knew how it felt to be at fault. The least she could do for Kanna was simply be there. And that definitely seemed like enough for Kanna.
Her whispering was sharply cut off by the sound of the door clicking open. Kanna immediately swung her head in its direction, seeing Safalin walking back in with a cone of vanilla ice cream that shined in the artificial light. She took it from Safalin with a glint in her eye, and took a giant bite out of it. It seemed so long since she had felt like this, felt anything other than worry or guilt or fear or a myriad of emotions alike.
She looked up at Sara, who was smiling back down at her. And with one hand holding her cone, and one hand holding Sara’s, the tears streaming down Kanna’s face transitioned from pained to contented. That memory felt so close to this reality. Of course, there were some notable differences. Her ice cream didn’t have sprinkles this time. It was a different time of day. Kugie was dead.
Kanna turned to Sara with a tear-stained face and said with a shaky voice, “Thank you s-”
She paused.
Sara was still looking at her, the look in her eyes having a bittersweet familiarity to Kanna. “Thank you, Sara.”