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“Ro-ooooo?”
“What?”
“Come here!”
Rowan, with a groan, ambles into the front room to greet Lister. I look up from my spot on the sofa, and realise I should have started paying attention a long time ago.
The kitchen is covered in flour. It’s like a thin layer of snow, and it’s making Lister’s hair look grey.
“What the fuck have you done that for?”
“Well, I tried to open the bag, and then the bag went everywhere.”
“Why the fuck are you opening a bag of flour?”
“I’m making Christmas cookies!”
“ Who the fuck asked for Christmas cookies?”
“...I’m sensing some hostility.”
Rowan lets out a loud groan of frustration, flinging his arms up in the air exasperatedly. I have to hold back a snort.
“So, I tried to go and clean all this up before you noticed...”
“Your tone is unnerving.”
“Did you remember that thing we learned in primary school? About how flour and water mix to make glue?”
“Allister, I’m going to throttle you.”
At this point, I’ve given up on trying to mask any sort of laughter. It shouldn’t be funny, exactly, especially if I stop to think about the fact it’ll be Rowan and I left to clean up Lister’s mess yet again, but the flour-y boy is delivering this information with such a grave and earnest expression on his face that I can’t help but laugh.
“So we have glue.”
“Stop talking.”
“And flour.”
“Stop talking.”
“And I think I might have destroyed this tea towel.”
“Stop. Talking.”
“And in terms of cookies, we have no cookies.”
“ Stop. Talking.”
“But I have good news!”
“Lister, for the love of God stop talking.”
“What’s the good news?” I chime in, deciding to shit-stir.
“Et tu, Jim?” Rowan snaps, turning on his heels to glare at me.”
“The good news,” Lister continues, “is that I didn’t know how to make cookies anyway, so you’ve probably dodged a bullet.”
With a primal, guttural screech, Rowan leaps towards Lister with fury in his eyes. I realise I should probably separate them, but I can’t stop laughing - I’m rolling about on the sofa practically wetting myself.
“Save me, Jimothy!” Lister cries out, but all I can do is laugh harder.