Archive of Our Own ^beta

The first time it happened, Sakusa thought he was hallucinating.

He was at a college party after Komori forced him to ‘go out and live his time of youth’, hanging out by the kitchen with a red cup in his hand, trying not to look too weird as he sat at the corner of the kitchen counter. The party was as bad as usual parties were: loud and wild and everything that Sakusa hated. Too bad for him, he wasn’t able to bring his car along. He had to wait for Komori to finish having fun if he wanted to go home. That didn’t mean he’d wait that long; Sakusa was ready to walk back to his dorm.

Eyeing the chips left on the counter, Kiyoomi was hungry, but not hungry enough to consider taking a chip that has been exposed to air and has had a lot of hands grab from it. He wondered whether it was impolite to try and look what food the fridge had to offer, but then he heard someone say boxes of pizza were coming, so he’d have to wait and get a box for his own.

Sakusa scrolled through his phone to occupy himself, eyes too busy to notice that the bright flash of lights within the party has dimmed down to a low lighting, and the sound of music blasting from the speakers drowned out. When he looked up, what he didn't expect to see was a volleyball net before him.

How did he get here?

Sakusa looked around, wondering how such hallucination or dream could appear so vivid. It was as if he was indeed in a gym right now instead of the frat house he was just at. Lowering his phone down, he tried to remember whether his drink contained any drugs. That was it. He would never let Komori convince him to go to another party ever again.

The sound of a ball being spiked against the wall brought him back to reality. His head whipped towards the direction where it came from, seeing a guy wearing training clothes and sported dark blond hair with an undercut. Narrowing his eyes, he continued to ponder why even a drug-induced hallucination seemed so boring.

“So stupid,” he could hear the guy murmur, picking the ball up and held it in between his hands, staring at the wall. Sakusa could detect an accent in his voice—an accent that was too familiar for comfort. “You’re so fuckin’ stupid, ‘Tsumu. Can’t even increase the power of yer jump serves. What a fuckin’ loser.”

Sakusa’s eyes widened. This couldn’t be happening. Was he really hallucinating or dreaming about his ex right now? He stood still, shoulders tensed as he felt like he was intruding in something so personal.

Atsumu turned around, on his way to walk towards the serving line when his eyes met Sakusa’s, who still stood frozen. The two of them remained quiet for a while, blinking at each other as if the both of them were trying to make sense of the situation. Before Sakusa could think of what to say, Atsumu walked towards him first, his face too neutral for Sakusa to read.

“Omi?” The blond called, standing closely in front of Sakusa right now. The beating of his heart was too loud for Sakusa to comprehend any thought right now, and Atsumu spoke again before he could even form a coherent thought. “I mean, Sakusa. Sakusa, whatcha doin’ here?”

No way did this sound so real. This actually seemed like a legit conversation that was happening right now, as if Sakusa was indeed in front of his ex. But this couldn’t be real. He was just at a house party, and Sakusa’s college campus was three hours away from Atsumu's on a bullet train. Nothing but magic can explain why he suddenly was in Osaka out of thin air.

The taller was still in the middle of a mental debate. The situation right now was way beyond his comprehension, but his eyes caught the frown on Atsumu’s lips and he swore he heard the other one speak in such a soft voice he never had heard before. Rather, he heard that kind of voice only once.

When they broke up over the phone.

Before that memory could resurface and sear him with guilt, Sakusa finally has regained the ability to talk. “Miya,” he grunted, before shifting from foot to foot awkwardly. “You wouldn’t believe this, but it appears that I came here from Tokyo out of thin air. Like magic.”

The blond narrowed his eyes at Kiyoomi, and he knew how ridiculous his words sounded, but he couldn’t really have any better explanation for suddenly turning up. “The fuck is that supposed to mean?”

Atsumu looked frustrated for a reason he didn’t know. He really did seem like he was fucking around, but he still couldn’t come up with a decent explanation to offer to Atsumu.

Sakusa avoided Atsumu’s eyes, looking down apologetically. The blond didn’t seem to be in a good mood, and Kiyoomi showing up here unannounced looked like it made it worse. “I mean it exactly like that. I was at a party with Komori just a few minutes ago, scrolling through my phone. When I looked up, I was suddenly here. I thought I was just hallucinating, but seeing that you look so realistically angry right now…”

The shorter didn’t seem to know what he could say either, and both of them shared an awkward silence once more. During such silence, Sakusa's eyes couldn't help but drift down to Atsumu's body. His shoulders have broadened, his biceps show a clear formation of sturdy muscles, and his thighs seemed more powerful and strong. The blond appeared to be more firmly built than the last time he saw him, which was approximately a year ago. They had just started college back then, and Sakusa had dropped him off by his new dormitory and bid him goodbye with a kiss.

Kissing wasn’t what he was supposed to be thinking right now when he didn’t know how to get back to Tokyo.  It was too late for a 3-hour train ride back home, and his wallet wasn’t even with him, as he left it on his bedside table when he left for the party. If he called Komori right now, he still wouldn’t know how to explain how he was in Osaka all of a sudden.

Atsumu put a halt to his train of thoughts with a soft touch on his arm. “Sakusa?”

Kiyoomi just noticed how weird it was for Atsumu to call him by his last name rather than his usual ‘Omi-kun’ or ‘Omi Omi’.

Then again, Atsumu didn’t have a reason to act intimate and friendly with Sakusa after what happened between them.

“Sorry. Just—I’m processing too. I really don’t know how I got here, and I don’t know how to get back.”

Atsumu looked at the clock on the wall beside them, shaking his head as he saw the time. "It's too late for the train. Uh, I know it's awkward as hell but, ya want to go back with me to my dorm room? My roommate is out for tonight."

Sakusa knew he would somehow regret saying yes, but the regret of saying no weighed heavier, so he just nodded. Atsumu brought his hand down, and it took Kiyoomi too late to appreciate how that palm was warm and comforting amidst his current state of confusion.

“I’ll go and change first. Just sit here and be patient, yeah? If I come back here with an empty room and don’t see you for five minutes, I’ll assume ya had popped right back to Tokyo like that magic you said.”

The blond made his way towards the locker room while Sakusa looked for a bench he could sit in. Once he found one, he brought his phone out, looking at what time the first ride back to Tokyo would be. The train ticket was quite expensive, and he wondered if borrowing money from Atsumu was too much. It didn’t look like he had much choice anyway, so he’d just muster up the courage to ask his ex for a favor later.

Atsumu’s dorm was a walking distance from the gym, which entailed that the two of them would be walking there together. What would be more awkward than walking in silence and cold air with an ex that you haven't seen for a year? Probably that Sakusa had been offered Atsumu's jacket because the blond apparently still remembered how he couldn't handle the cold and it was freezing outside.

Kiyoomi tried not to think much about how Atsumu’s jacket smelled just the way he remembered it, and he tries not to let the memories flood his mind. It’s been a while since he last hung out with Atsumu like this, and if he was the person he was one and a half year ago, he’d pounce on Atsumu right now and have him against the wall, tasting those lips he knew that remained soft and plump no matter how many years had passed by.

Again with the thinking about kissing, Sakusa vehemently shook his head. This gesture caught the blond’s attention, which made him snort as he looked at Kiyoomi with an inquisitive raise of a brow. “What’s in yer mind it that got ya to react like that?”

Sakusa only huffed, shaking his head mildly this time, as he refused to sputter out something embarrassing. Miya had a way of telling whenever he lied, so he decided not to risk it.

They arrived by the door of Atsumu’s dorm a few more steps within the silent and tense bubble they were in, letting the blond go in first before he followed, taking his shoes off.

“There’s no need to take ‘em off, ya know. My roommate and I aren’t as tidy as ya.”

Sakusa looked at Atsumu as if he was the odd one, setting his shoes aside anyway and taking the only room slippers he saw. “Doesn’t mean I would not like to be tidy myself.”

Kiyoomi didn’t know if he was only seeing things, but he believed he saw the look of fondness crossing Atsumu’s features for a while. Before he could comment on it, however, Atsumu turned his back and sauntered in. “Are ya hungry? I don’t have much here, but I do have instant noodles and eggs. Want some?”

The grumbling of Sakusa’s stomach answered for him; if he wasn’t already embarrassed enough from the prior events, he would blush about that. Atsumu still grinned nonetheless. “Gotcha there, buddy. Hold on. Make yourself feel at home.”

While the blond walked to what Sakusa could assume as the kitchen, he wandered towards what he thought was the living room but was met with two single beds with a small couch in between them and a television set across it instead. He opted to make himself comfortable on the couch rather than either one of the two beds, his eyes examining the details of the room around him.

The left wall was decorated with posters of international volleyball players and a large embossed owl, with a photo frame hung beside it that held two boys; one smiling wide with gray hair and black roots while the other held a serene smile and piercing blue eyes.

The right wall, on the other hand, was clean save for a few photographs taped on it. Upon close inspection, they were photos of Atsumu and his twin, Osamu, along with their mom and his friends from high school. Sakusa knew them well, even if he had only met them a few times during their two years of relationship.

He didn’t know how long he was staring at the pictures, especially at a white-haired man with his arm around Atsumu’s shoulder, when Atsumu finally called him to the kitchen.

“We don’t have new pairs of chopsticks ‘ere, so I sterilized a metal one for ya. Well, as best as I could, anyway.” The blond handed him the said pair as soon as he took a seat, a bowl of steaming noodles before him.

"Thank you," Kiyoomi murmured. It was kind of touching that even after all this time, Miya was still aware of how clean Sakusa wanted his utensils to be. Not only that, but the jacket he was wearing too smelt like it was fresh from the laundry.

Sakusa diverted his attention to his grumbling stomach instead and uttered his graces before starting to eat. The silence in their atmosphere felt more comfortable now than it previously did, but Atsumu was still far too silent than what Kiyoomi was used to.

Sakusa really should stop thinking about the past.

After eating, Sakusa offered to wash the dishes while Atsumu dried them. They still weren’t talking, but there were no words that were needed to be said. Sakusa could still feel the heavy aura that lingered from whatever was bothering Atsumu before he appeared here, and he briefly pondered whether he should do something about it.

The blond gave him a pair of pajamas and let him take a shower first. While showering, his thoughts ran a mile per minute. What was bothering Atsumu? Why does it feel like that has something to do with his sudden appearance here? And most importantly, why is he so concerned about what his ex was feeling?

Sakusa knew the answer for the last one, at least, but he wanted to deny it. Again, there was no use in dwelling on the past, so he immediately finished his shower and dressed in a fresh set of clothes.

When he got out of the shower, Atsumu was already bare and had a white towel wrapped around his waist. Despite the self-control he usually bragged about, he wasn’t able to stop his eyes again from drifting down to the exposed chest of Atsumu’s and how it was more prominent to him now that the blond has grown and bulked up indeed.

If Atsumu noticed this shameless ogling, he didn’t say a word about it, though Sakusa felt the smirk before he could even see it. Kiyoomi decided to not bat an eyelash in Atsumu’s direction for the rest of the night, and immediately walked away from the blond and ran away to the room.

Sitting on the couch again, he sighed, leaning his head back. He looked at his phone and saw three messages and five missed calls from Komori, asking worriedly where he was and why he didn't say a word if he decided to leave. Sakusa immediately tried to come up with an excuse, shooting a vague text that said a friend had an emergency and he needed to come over quickly. He added another one saying that he would be spending the night at said friend's house too and turned his phone off hurriedly before Komori asks him for more information that he couldn't give.

Resting his head against the couch, he let his eyes close, humming to himself. Tonight was indeed quite a turn of events. But it’s not as if Kiyoomi knew how to solve this mystery.

When Atsumu came out of the bathroom, he almost drifted off to sleep. He sat upright, rubbing his eyes and a soft yawn falling off of his lips.

The same look of fondness appeared on Atsumu’s face again, and this time, it stayed rather than immediately vanishing. He walked closer, crossing his arms as he looked at Kiyoomi. “Take my roommate’s bed, Omi-kun. I know that I said my roommate and I aren’t tidy, but my roommate’s boyfriend is. I promise that his bed is clean.”

Sakusa nodded, raising the blanket and shaking it out for extra measures, before sliding himself beneath it and settled into a comfortable position. Atsumu turned the lights off and kept a small lamp on, lying on the bed beside his, his face turned towards Kiyoomi as they looked at each other for a while.

“D’ya promise yer not playin’ with me and you actually don’t know how you got here?”

Kiyoomi nodded, his eyelids drooping as another yawn escaped his lips. “Wish I could explain to you, but I couldn’t.”

Atsumu nodded in return, and the silence made Sakusa feel sleepier. He was drifting in and out of consciousness in no time, and just before his eyes surrendered, he heard Miya whisper softly.

“Dunno why, but I kinda wish you came here out of your own will. I really thought ya came here for me, somehow sensing that I needed you tonight so bad, Omi.”

The next morning, nothing really eventful happened. After grabbing coffee with Atsumu, the two of them headed towards the station in Atsumu’s car. Fortunately for Sakusa, Miya asked him whether he brought his wallet with him, and he only needed to say no before Atsumu willingly lent his money. He was quite thankful that he didn’t have to overthink his decisions again, and all he had to do was thank Atsumu for his kindness and hospitality.

As soon as the train opened up, he turned towards Atsumu, debating whether a hug was necessary for the goodbye. Instead, Atsumu gave his shoulder a pat, giving him a warm smile. "Have a safe trip, Sakusa."

Sakusa was so ready to go home last night, but right now, it felt like his feet were planted on the ground and he didn’t want to move. This oddly felt like Sakusa was visiting his boyfriend, and they were now about to part after spending a great time together and will likely miss each other, knowing they won’t be seeing one another for quite some time.

The dark-haired man pushed those thoughts into the back of his mind, returning Atsumu’s smile with a small one of his own. “I can’t thank you enough, Miya. I’ll wire you my debt as soon as I get my card back.”

The blond snorted, pushing his shoulder lightly. “Go now, or you’ll miss your ride. Goodbye, Omi-kun.”

For some reason, Sakusa’s heart twisted hearing the last statement. The words weighed heavier than it was supposed to, for a goodbye between exes who hadn’t seen each other in a long time.

“Goodbye, Tsu-chan.”

Atsumu's eyes widened at the use of the old nickname Kiyoomi gave to him, and before he could hear the blond's reaction, he immediately loses himself in the crowd and disappeared into the train.

The second time it happened, it was only two weeks after. Just as Sakusa was trying to accept the reality that while what happened might indeed be something magical, it was only the type of miracle that happens once in a lifetime.

The unseen forces of the universe certainly liked to prove him wrong since he was clearly standing in the Miya family home right now.

Lucky for him, his phone and wallet were with him this time. He was out with Komori and his friends at a movie theater, and he was just excusing himself to go to the bathroom when his first step landed on the wooden floor of Miya's home rather than the tiled floor he was just walking on.

He knew he was at Miya’s hometown because he had been here twice, but he wondered why Atsumu was in Hyogo. He looked around, and oddly enough, the room he landed in was deserted. Slowly, he tiptoed his way outside, looking for the living room that he could still somehow remember where until he was greeted with the sight of the Miya twins in black suits.

Sakusa’s eyes widened. The Miyas had their back on him, but they were facing a casket. The picture showed who was currently in the casket, a woman bearing the same smile from the picture he has just seen back in Atsumu’s dorm two weeks ago.

Kiyoomi's heart clenched, and Atsumu's foul mood from that night made sense. Atsumu was a bundle of energy and usually got himself on everyone's nerves naturally. But that night, he was quiet. Subtle. Reserved.

To know that he carried this burden, Sakusa wished he could’ve been nicer and treated Atsumu better that night.

Looking down at his clothes, he knew if he were to be seen here, it would be deemed as disrespectful. Before he could dash for it, though, Atsumu turned around, and their eyes instantly met. Shock turned to disbelief, and then into urgency. He looked over his shoulder and said something to his twin, before rushing towards Kiyoomi and taking his wrist.

Sakusa didn’t say anything and let himself be dragged along until the two of them were within the safety of Atsumu’s room. Sakusa has only been here two times, and before an indecent memory rose up into his mind, he immediately shoved it down and focused on Atsumu’s shoulders instead.

“Sakusa, what is this?” The blond’s eyes looked red, probably from crying, and the weight of his presence here suddenly felt like a burden. He was intruding in such a personal moment that he wanted to say sorry right away and leave.

“I—I don’t know. One moment I was watching a movie and then—I’m so sorry, Atsumu. I’m sorry for intruding, I should leave-”

Miya immediately shook his head, and the fingers wrapped around his wrist tightened. There was a sad and solemn look on Atsumu's face, and Sakusa felt a huge urge to take the blond in his arms and hug him tightly.

“Stay, please.”

Just two words, and Sakusa gave in. He couldn’t say no. He wouldn’t say no. Atsumu clearly needed him right now, and if his company wasn’t a bother and was instead a need, then he would gladly provide it.

He bundled up what courage he can muster and took Atsumu’s hand off his wrist, only for him to intertwine their fingers instead, giving the other’s hand a squeeze. “Okay. I will.”

Atsumu smiled softly and then rummaged for his phone from his pocket. “Wait here. I’ll go see if I can borrow a suit from Rintarou or Kita-san.” He gave another squeeze onto his hand, before letting go and heading out of the room.

What was that? Kiyoomi asked himself, taking a seat on the edge of the bed as he stared at the empty wall. Those emotions that swirled within were the emotions that he should have long buried. What kind of power did Miya have over him to make him feel like the second year Sakusa Kiyoomi all over again?

Speaking of power, Sakusa looked at the ceiling and tried to glare as hard as he could. Whatever this weird teleportation power that he has now, it surely didn't have manners and decorum. Seriously? Transporting him here at the time where Atsumu was the most vulnerable? And he would've preferred to be invited rather than intrude in something as special and intimate as this. It didn't seem fair for the Miya family for a random ex to pop up in their home in the middle of a funeral ceremony.

Trying to stay calm and ignore his thoughts, Sakusa walked over to a wall that was yet again bare, except for polaroids and photographs bundled above Atsumu's study table.

The pictures held the same important people. Osamu. His high school friends Rintarou, Aran, Kita, Akagi, Ginjima, and the tallest one among their friend circle that he was pretty sure had the same name as his nickname was. His mother. But one picture called his attention and he has never stared at anything else other than that photo for a long while.

It was of Atsumu and him. Behind, one could see the lovely shower of the cherry blossoms shedding its flowers behind them. It was a lovely spring day two years ago, and Sakusa could still remember the events that preceded the photo.

Atsumu was going to break up with him for the first time at that moment. He had an important match, but Sakusa didn’t come. Kiyoomi could still remember why. Atsumu wanted to introduce Sakusa to his friends, but he didn’t want to meet them. It’s not that they were bad people—he wasn’t just comfortable being seen as someone who was supposed to be Atsumu’s lover.

After all, was he someone who deserved Atsumu? These thoughts have plagued him ever since they became official.

Atsumu’s response, however, was something that Sakusa didn’t expect. He could still remember his words in verbatim, and that memory put a small smile on his face.

“So what? Ya cowerin’ away ‘cause ya think yer not good enough for me? Sakusa fuckin’ Kiyoomi. I’d brag about ya, ‘cause those bastards know how far gone I have it in for ya. I was gonna rub it into their faces and say ‘Ha! The man I wanted for so long’s now mine. Whatcha gonna do about it?’ I’d laugh at their faces, Omi-kun!”

After that, Sakusa remembered how embarrassed he was and how his reflexes made him whip out his alcohol spray and spray it on Atsumu's face. Which then made the blond sulk, putting on an exaggerated pout. Kiyoomi had to exert an effort into getting the other to look at him so he could kiss him in apology.

He had Atsumu shocked and blown away, because he, Sakusa Kiyoomi, who hated crowds and surely hated PDA, was kissing him in public. But that shock quickly passed by, and soon, they lost each other in the warm and passionate kiss, arms firmly wrapped around each other.

“I promise, Atsumu, this will be the last time. The next time you need me, I will be there. Always.”

Sakusa remembered how soft and reverent his voice was as he said it because, at that moment, nothing mattered but Atsumu. He wanted to show the man that there was nothing that could stop him from making sure that he kept a smile on his face.

What a promise that was, seeing where they were now.

Before Sakusa could take a trip down memory lane one more time, the door opened, and in came the other Miya twin. Kiyoomi didn’t know whether to panic and hide, but the other only regarded him with a quiet stare, before raising his hand and offering the paper bag he held in it. “There’s a suit in here. There’s a bathroom two doors down the hall. I could lead you there if ya want.”

Sakusa walked closer and took the bag, shaking his head slightly. “It’s okay. Thank you for the help, and I give you my condolences.”

Osamu nodded, before walking away and leaving the door open. Sakusa took a few breaths before he finally went outside and looked for the bathroom that the silver-haired twin has specified, immediately getting dressed.

As soon as he had finished putting the tie on, his phone vibrated from his pocket. Must be Komori. He placed the phone in between his shoulder and ear as he tidied his lapels.

“Kiyoomi, where did you go again? You’re adopting a new habit of being MIA all of a sudden!” His cousin said from the other line, annoyance and worry in his tone.

Sakusa, again, debated whether to tell the truth or not. On one hand, with the number of people he'd see later that would know who he was, one of them was surely bound to tell Toya about his presence here. On the other hand, his cousin would never believe him if he said he teleported here.

“I’m on my way to the Miyas. The twins’ mother has passed away,” was the most logical reason he could come up with.

“What?!” There was shuffling that could be heard from Komori’s line, which meant that the other was still in public and was looking for a quiet place. “I mean, my deepest condolences and all, but you just literally said you were going to the bathroom, and now you’re suddenly on a 3-hour train?!”

Impulsiveness was never Sakusa’s style, so he couldn’t use a spontaneous desire to mourn with his ex as a reason. Nonetheless, Sakusa stuck to his story. “It’s his mother, Toya. She’s the only one that mattered to him the most other than volleyball and Osamu.”

He could picture the way Komori’s face twisted, clearly unimpressed with this reasoning of his. “Do you think seeing his ex who broke up with him over the phone would help right now? Oh, where are my manners—full offense, by the way.”

Komori’s words were a punch to his gut, since his cousin tends to be careful with his words around him, yet now he was blatantly slapping him with the truth. Now that he heard this, he realized that he’d rather be laughed at by Komori by saying he had the powers of teleportation, rather than be called out for being an insensitive asshole.

“I know my presence is probably the last thing he would hope for, but Atsumu still needs someone with him right now, Komori. He needs all the support he could get. And if my company makes up for it even a tiny percentage, then I would still gladly offer what I got.”

Sakusa was aware that he was just out here because of this magical connection within him right now, but he knew that if Atsumu called him through the phone and wanted him to be by his side right now, he wouldn’t hesitate and jump into a train.

The weeks that preceded their break and even the weeks after that was rough for the both of them, alright, but it could never change one thing.

Kiyoomi was going to be there for Atsumu whenever he was needed.

Komori was still silent, but before his cousin has the chance to continue reprimanding him, Sakusa hung up. He looked at the mirror one more time, washing his hands before opening the door of the bathroom.

The first person that greeted his eyes was Miya, who looked like he was just about to knock. “Oh, Omi. You’re done. The ceremony is about to start, let’s go?”

Sakusa nodded, following suit as Atsumu led the way.

On the whole walk there, Sakusa’s eyes were only at Atsumu’s hands beside him, swinging lightly with each step.

Sakusa wanted to hold them one more time.

It was already dark outside when the ceremony ended and the guests have left. Some relatives lingered, probably the Miya twins’ aunts and uncles. The twins remained seated on the chairs in front of their mother’s casket, quiet and unmoving.

He took a seat two chairs behind them, and the only person beside him was apparently Osamu's boyfriend, Suna Rintarou.

If Osamu was polite with him, Suna held no sign of this courtesy and ignored him. It’s not like he could say anything to the other, anyway, but the way his aura exuded was somehow telling him that Suna was doing this on purpose, and he wanted to let him feel how cold he was.

“Osamu,” Suna finally said, making the silver-haired twin look over his shoulder. “I’ll go get food for us. Anything you two would like?”

Osamu shook his head, mumbling a quick thank you. Suna nodded, then as he stood up, he tapped Sakusa's shoulder a bit more forcefully to be considered polite. "Oi, let's go. Hopefully, you brought money with you? I don't plan on paying for your food."

Sakusa nodded, following Suna who was already making his way outside, grabbing their shoes by the door. “I’ll pay for Atsumu’s food-”

"Like hell I'd let you," Suna's voice was low and quiet, but his words were icy nonetheless. "Look, I don't care if Atsumu wanted you to be here, but you should've had some empathy within you to not show up. Don't do things that would get his hopes up again after what you did, Sakusa."

Sakusa never heard Suna say this many words at once, but those words were another punch to the gut. I know. I know I wasn't mean to be here, wasn't meant to show my face again after what I did. If only I had control over these stupid powers. Kiyoomi thought to himself, looking dejectedly down the ground.

He let the tension remain in their atmosphere as they headed over Suna’s car and the other drove them to a family diner, parking outside. They were still silent as they ordered the food, and even after they picked the bags up and went back to the car.

Just as they arrived back at the Miya residence, Sakusa finally decided to talk. "I know no one wants my presence here, but if Atsumu says that he needs me, then I'll stay. I'll accept all of your words as well, because I know I deserve them."

Suna looked at him for the first time that night, his glare as icy as his voice. “Atsumu is not only my boyfriend’s brother. He is my best friend, and I grew up with him. If you do something that hurts him again one more time, then please do leave your phone unlocked so I could call your cousin and report your death.”

For someone who looked quiet and reserved all the time, Suna sounded so passionate and determined with his words. Instead of feeling threatened, Sakusa nodded, no words needed to be uttered when the way his eyes flashed was like a promise. With bags of food in tow, both of them went back inside, setting the table before calling the twins to eat.

After begging Komori to help him draft a letter of excuse for a week, Sakusa retired to Atsumu’s bedroom, which they will apparently share. The blond was still in the living room with his twin, so he took the pajamas that were already set on the bed and took it with him to the bathroom.

His train of thoughts remained uninterrupted while the droplets of water slid down his skin. He had never shared a bed with Atsumu before. They slept in the same room just two weeks ago, yes, but never like this. He was not sure if Atsumu would even sleep at the time he will, probably having to sleep in shifts with his twin.

When he has finished showering and changed clothes, he sauntered back to the bedroom, sitting on the bed that Atsumu has owned since the blossom of his youth. It was probably sentimental, so Kiyoomi was careful in lifting the covers before settling himself on the bed. It smelled strongly of Atsumu, and Sakusa briefly wondered whether he would be able to sleep tonight.

Atsumu was never expressive of his feelings of hurt. He would always hide it away with a casual smile, and he could still remember the breathless laugh that the blond omitted in the phone call on the night he broke up with him.

Sakusa didn't want to think of that night, but with nobody to talk to and nothing but his thoughts as a company, he couldn't help it.

It was only three months since they started college at that time. Everything started good enough. Sakusa would text Atsumu throughout the morning, and Atsumu would call him during his breaks. They Skyped at night, letting Atsumu ramble about his day and all of his annoying schoolmates while Sakusa made short commentaries.

While Atsumu was a master of hiding his emotions, Sakusa was good at hiding his thoughts. He never knew when the idea has popped into his mind, but he knew that the moment he met Kita Shinsuke, he was jealous of him.

Sakusa and Atsumu met in their second year of high school at a training camp. It started out simple enough. Atsumu was annoying, Sakusa was annoyed. They argued and bickered, until that night before the training camp ended, they had an intense make-out session and soon exchanged numbers.

From there, they met up at least once a week. It was a surprise for Atsumu to know that Sakusa lived in Osaka since the other didn't have a trace of Osaka-ben with him, but Sakusa explained that it was because he was originally from Tokyo and had just moved recently since his father's job was stationed there for a four-year contract.

Their relationship took off from there. Their meetings were always a secret, and the only one who knew about it was Atsumu’s twin, Osamu. Everything was smooth-sailing, and Sakusa found himself drawn to Atsumu the more he knew about him.

However, on one of the days after the mark of the first year of their relationship, Atsumu got bed-ridden for a week. The idiot overworked himself with volleyball, and while Sakusa was worried sick and wanted to come over, he couldn’t really explain his presence to Atsumu’s mother.

It was five days of silence until Sakusa couldn’t take it anymore. Taking the Shinkansen and arriving at the dead of the night, Sakusa vaguely remembered where the Miya residence was after walking Atsumu home on one of their dates. He thanked his athleticism for his ability to jump over the fence and climb the gate, and the somehow weak security system of Miya’s home that he was able to get in.

He was aware that he was being borderline stalkerish, but his boyfriend was probably dying on his bed right now, and he thought a quick peek at the window wouldn’t bother Atsumu that much.

All the lights were still on, so Sakusa tried his best not to make as much noise as possible. He crept from window to window, hoping to see which bedroom Atsumu owned, and his ears picked up the sound of conversation coming from a particularly brightly lit window.

His hunch was correct, and Atsumu was indeed on his bed. However, he was not alone. A white-haired man with black roots sat beside Atsumu, carefully feeding his boyfriend with grapes. Sakusa would’ve thought he was a cousin or something, but he looked far too different to be Atsumu’s relative, and the way the man stared and talked with Atsumu made something horrible pull at his gut.

Slightly annoyed, Sakusa whipped his phone out and shot a quick text to Atsumu. The white-haired man took his phone for him, reading the text. “It says here the message is from Sakusa Kiyoomi. He’s asking what you are doing.”

Atsumu smiled faintly, gratefully taking another grape inside his mouth that the other man offered to him. “Tell him I’m resting and he should get some rest too.”

The man nodded and sent the exact words as a reply to Sakusa. Still irritated, Sakusa sent another message.

“Sakusa Kiyoomi is asking who is with you. Is Sakusa a friend of yours?”

Atsumu nodded too quickly for Sakusa’s liking, without hesitation. “Yeah. I guess he’s pretty worried. Dunno why though, told him I was fine. Leave that message, Kita-san, so he could sleep.”

Kita placed the phone back on the table, pressing the back of his hand on Atsumu’s forehead. “You don’t look fine. Should I come over tomorrow?”

He watched as his boyfriend nodded, giving a bright smile to this mystery man named Kita, and something about that smile made Sakusa’s chest tighten uncomfortably.

As if a child that was throwing a fit, he didn’t make his presence known and immediately walked himself back to the train station. Stupid distance. Stupid nice boys taking care of someone else’s boyfriend. Stupid me for taking a train ride in the middle of the night. Stupid.

Sakusa continued to mumble such thoughts until he arrived back home early in the morning. His father didn't seem to notice that he was gone, so he quickly made his way to his room and got to his bed.

He wasn't able to sleep a wink, still. His plans of visiting Atsumu as soon as he got better diminished swiftly since Kita was probably going to be there to take care of him anyway.

That was where his jealousy of Kita Shinsuke started, as far as he could remember. At first, it was something he could ignore. But over time it grew, since the more Sakusa saw Atsumu and Kita together, and hearing Atsumu talk about Kita, the more Sakusa had doubts with himself. 'Kita-san is such a good captain! He makes sure all of us performs our best, but also watches for our health!' 'Kita-san is the funniest person I know because he doesn't even try to be funny!' 'Kita-san dressed up for a student meeting and he looked so good in formal attire!'

Kita-san this, Kita-san that. What did Kita Shinsuke have to garner Atsumu’s attention so much? From what he has heard and seen of Kita, he was caring, smart, kind, spoke politely, a hard worker, always managed to understand the twins very well, trustworthy, and is even loved by Atsumu’s mother. Atsumu has sung nothing but praises for the man, but what bothered Sakusa the most was the way Atsumu smiled whenever Kita was mentioned.

He knew that being in a relationship like this, harboring such thoughts all alone wasn't healthy. But he decided he could hold out. There were only a few months left anyway before they go to college, and he'll finally have Atsumu all to himself.

But oh, was Sakusa wrong. Kita studied in Osaka, where Atsumu was planning to study as well.

He tried not to mind it. It shouldn’t be a big deal; nothing about the way Atsumu treated him had changed. He could feel the love the other has always given, but even that was not enough to calm his heart down.

It only worsened when he found out that they still remained close and hung out together at university. Whenever they called, he would always hear Kita in the background. Atsumu’s retelling of his daily adventures always included Kita in it.

But what made him snap was that one night in the three months since college has started, Atsumu became unresponsive. Sakusa called four times until giving up, but he woke up around midnight because he was still worried anyway. He decided to send one more message, telling Atsumu to send him a text first thing in the morning, when his phone rang. He immediately answered it, excited to finally hear his boyfriend's voice again, when Kita's familiar low voice answered instead. "Hey, Sakusa. Sorry, I just noticed that Atsumu's phone was vibrating nonstop. I'm sending him back to his dorm now, he's severely drunk."

“Drunk?” Sakusa asked, wondering why Atsumu never mentioned anything about going to a party.

“Yeah. Found him passed out at a bar nearby. He called and said he needed me, so I immediately rushed over. The poor boy’s been having bad problems lately.”

Sakusa only grew more bewildered as the call continued. “What do you mean problems? Atsumu didn’t mention anything about a problem.”

He could hear Kita gasp a little from the other line, which was quickly covered with a clearing of his throat. “Uh, well, there must be a reason why Atsumu hid it from you. Maybe try talking to him once he’s sober tomorrow?”

Sakusa didn’t have it in him anymore to continue the call, thoughts rushing out like a newly formed geyser on the ground. He knew it was kind of rude, but he hung up without another word.

His head fell back to his pillow, eyes trained on the ceiling, as nothing but white noise filled his ears. Why did Atsumu not tell him anything? Why did he tell Kita, and not him?

Does Atsumu even trust him?

That was the breaking point for Sakusa. He felt worthless as a lover, seeing no sense of purpose in being with Atsumu when the other didn’t seem to need him anymore.

He moped around for a week, ignoring all calls and messages. When Komori, the second person to find out about his relationship with Atsumu, slapped some sense into him and called him out for his asshole behavior of ghosting his boyfriend, he went out to the silent campus grounds one night and accepted one of the hundreds of calls Atsumu has been making.

“Omi-kun, finally! What’s wrong? What is this silent treatment for? Did something bad happen to ya? Are you okay?” Atsumu’s tone was colored with so much worry, yet it didn’t affect Sakusa one bit. His chest felt hollow, and ever since he talked to Kita, his words were the only ones in his mind.

He knew he should’ve thought about it more. He knew that he should’ve come clean, told Atsumu the truth of how he was jealous of Kita ever since high school, and asked him if he had something to worry about. But his emotions got the better of him, and before he could even understand what he was about to say, it came out of his mouth right away.

“Let’s break up, Atsumu.”

Atsumu's word vomit was cut off short, and nothing could be heard except both of their breathings. After a long tense and awkward silence, Atsumu breathed out a shaky laugh, a soft sniffle followed.

“I knew it.”

Sakusa blinked. What did he know? Did Atsumu sense Sakusa’s jealousy after all? Some sense finally kicked into Kiyoomi, and just as he was about to propose to meet for a proper talk, Atsumu dropped a bomb at him.

"I knew you were tired of me. You've fallen out of love with me, haven't ya?" Atsumu said in a tone of voice that Sakusa has never heard him use before. Silent and distant. Even when they were strangers, Atsumu was always warm to him. This was so different, it made Sakusa regret all of his life choices, and was a minute away from banging his head on the concrete.

“Wait, Atsumu-”

“I thought I was just overthinkin’, but ever since that full week of me bein’ sick, you have changed, Kiyoomi. I caught ya looking irritated a lot of times, and sometimes, you would even give me a cold shoulder on our dates. Am I that annoying to ya?”

This was not what Sakusa had wanted at all. His own throat has constricted, and even if his mind was begging to spill words, his mouth couldn’t. “Atsumu, it’s not like that-”

"You should've told me, Kiyoomi! You should have told me so I could fuckin’ change it! Become less annoying, or somethin'! Not disappearing for no reason, leavin' me worried as fuck. But it turns out, you weren't just into me anymore."

Atsumu sounded so frustrated and heartbroken, Sakusa knew he deserved a beating for what he has done to the blond. Still, his mouth wouldn’t cooperate, and all he could do was sob as his tears silently fell down. “Wait, Tsu-chan, let’s talk about this-”

"Don't call me that nickname anymore," Atsumu spoke, his voice back to cold and distant, which somehow made everything worse. "Don't even show yer face around me ever again. Ya hear that, Sakusa? I don't want to see ya again ever!"

Atsumu ended the call abruptly, and just as quickly, Sakusa’s heart dropped. Stupid. He was so fucking stupid, and he wasn’t able to fight for his relationship even. All he had to do was talk to Atsumu, yet he let himself keep it hidden until it blew up on his face.

Sakusa didn’t even know that he was crying right now as he laid on Atsumu’s bed, a year after that call, still feeling broken as ever. Ever since they broke up, he kept his promise of not showing himself around Atsumu again. He even stopped playing volleyball matches that were out of his campus, knowing that he’d come across Atsumu somehow if he did. He was fortunately good enough that his coach let this favor happen, and he has maintained that distance that his ex-boyfriend had needed.

In the middle of his reminiscing, he didn’t know that he had fallen asleep. It was probably dawn when he felt the bed shift, cracking his eyes open slightly to see Atsumu taking the space beside him.

The way Atsumu carried himself was done with so much loneliness and sadness, Sakusa and his sleepy state couldn’t bear seeing the bright boy looking like a dimmed candlelight in winter. He scooted over, pulling Sakusa until the blond’s back was on his chest, wrapping his arms around the other’s waist tightly.

“Omi…?” Atsumu mumbled, apparently still awake and surprised with the sudden hug.

Sakusa only cooed, placing a soft kiss on the man’s shoulder. “You’ve been through a lot, Tsu-chan. Please take my offer and rest yourself in my arms. You will be safe here.”

He heard a sniffle, before Atsumu turned around, facing the dark-haired man and looking up at him. Slowly, he let his head rest on Sakusa’s chest, their arms wrapped around each other’s bodies firmly, as if not wanting to let go.

And Sakusa didn't. Not this time, not ever again. He could feel Atsumu's breathing finally calming down, and with a few more shared heartbeats, the two of them drifted into a peaceful sleep.

How ironic it was for him to see the object of his jealousy the very next day.

Kita appeared with the rest of Atsumu’s former high school teammates early that morning, paying their respects and condolences as the twins and their relatives would be off to bring the body to the cremation chamber later before lunch.

Sakusa was silent the whole time as he watched Kita and Atsumu talk. The pang of jealousy hit him again, making him feel nostalgic, yet he knew he wouldn’t back off easily this time. If he had to fight for Atsumu, then so be it.

When the family finally left with the casket, Suna, Kita, and the rest of their team remained with Sakusa in the living room. He felt out of place among a sea of familiar friends, and while he expected to rot in the corner as he waited for Atsumu to return, the least he expected was for Kita to come up and talk to him.

“It’s been a long time, Sakusa. While I wish I could reprimand you for the behavior you displayed on your break up with Atsumu, I respect that this is a private matter for the both of you. But please do excuse me for asking what are you doing here?”

Kita sounded so painfully sincere and polite, Sakusa couldn’t dare to bring any sass out of him. He weaved his fingers together on top of his lap, breathing deeply. “He needed me. I delivered.”

His answer was brief, but that seemed to satisfy Kita enough. He nodded, and then took the seat beside him, leaning back. “I never remembered you being fond of me. Can I ask why?”

Sakusa would rather not be having this conversation right now after all of the thinking he did last night, but he really had no escape. Besides, this was his chance to come clean. Even if it would be towards the man he has to fight with for Atsumu. “Atsumu likes you better than me. It doesn’t really bring out a good effect on a boyfriend’s ego.”

Kita nodded, thoughtfully pondering, before it looked like something has clicked in his mind, and he suddenly laughed. “So you were that odd shadow outside Atsumu’s window that one night when he got sick.”

The taller was surprised that Kita noticed him, looking away embarrassingly, after being caught for something he did years ago. “Well, you see-”

“No need to explain yourself. Even I, someone who’s only a captain and a friend, was worried. How much more would the lover feel?” Kita placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, smiling. “There is no need for you to be envious of me. Atsumu treats me like a brother. And besides…” Kita leaned forward, whispering conspicuously. “I do not date men. Atsumu knows that.”

Sakusa blinked, another wave of embarrassment settling on him. “But, but the way you looked at him and the way he looked at you…”

Kita's eyebrows rose, smiling in a teasing manner. "I do not wish to brag, but how else would one look at his idol?" Kita patted Sakusa's shoulder before retrieving his hand, looking in front of them once again. "Besides, I had a girlfriend at that time, who is, by the way, my fiancée for a year now."

Kiyoomi didn’t know whether he should sigh in relief, or run away and hide from embarrassment. Everything he had assumed and thought was wrong, and the regret only weighed heavier within him at the realization that their problem could’ve been easily fixed if he only talked about this with Atsumu.

For some reason, the elder could sense the way the cogs in his brain turned, nudging him slightly with his shoulder. "Don't think too much. What happened in the past cannot be changed, but the future can still be shaped. Do what you need to do now if you want a future with Atsumu."

Sakusa, without the jealously blinding him, could finally see why Atsumu would trust Kita. He was sincere and genuine with his words, and it made him feel like Kiyoomi could spill any embarrassing secrets to Kita but he would still welcome him with his open mind and attentive ears.

He felt ridiculous, still, but what Kita said was right. He couldn’t undo the phone call anymore, but he can still fix this if he only tried.

"Sorry, Kita-san," Sakusa mumbled, raising his head to look at the man and deliver his sincerity through his eyes. "And thank you, for this advice."

The two of them shared a quiet smile, leaving Sakusa’s heart aching yet determined at the same time more than ever.

Throughout the funeral service, Sakusa was by Atsumu's side. He watched as the man and his brother grieved, but he made sure to wipe his tears dry after. Suna was still indifferent to him, yet they made a silent agreement to remain peaceful in order to accompany the twins' mourning.

On the seventh day of the funeral service, Sakusa knew he had to leave. While his heart wanted nothing more than to stay with Atsumu, the blond needed some time alone to heal and Sakusa had his own responsibilities to attend to. He got up early in the morning to leave, so he could catch the earliest train ride as possible. While he was buttoning his shirt, Atsumu, who was sleeping on the bed, stirred. He rubbed his eyes, before fully opening them and watching Sakusa as he dressed.

“Where are ya goin’, Omi-kun?”

Sakusa finished fixing his cuffs first before sitting right back on the bed, placing a gentle palm on the blond’s cheek. “I have to leave. Komori only managed to excuse me for a week from my classes, and anything more than that, my subjects would be dropped.”

Atsumu nodded in understanding, but the frown remained on his lips. Somehow, Sakusa could read the question that was hanging in the air, waiting to be voiced out.

When will I see you again?

Kiyoomi leaned forward, until his lips were pressed on Atsumu’s forehead and whispered. “Heal, Atsumu. And when you need me next time, I will be right here.”

The blond lifted his eyes, looking at Sakusa with his emotions openly swirling in his irises for the first time. Atsumu took Kiyoomi’s hand with his, bringing the palm close to his lips, and pecked gentle kisses onto it. “Wait for me, Omi.”

Sakusa didn’t need to say yes, because Atsumu knew that he would indeed wait for him. With a gentle caress of the blond’s cheek one more time, it was time to leave, even if he would be leaving his heart with Atsumu.

It has been a month and a half and he still hasn’t heard from Atsumu. He was starting to worry, but then again, the blond suffered such a huge loss and it might take some time for him to completely heal.

While Atsumu healed, Sakusa tried to fix himself. He came to Komori for advice and sat down with him for a long talk about how to open up with his feelings and the need for communication in a relationship. He was not sure whether he absorbed all of those lecturing well, but Motoya promised to smack him in the head anyway if he ever did the same stupid thing again and remind him endlessly.

In the middle of waiting, as well, Sakusa sometimes finds himself in a quiet place, mumbling under his breath and chanting the words ‘I need you’ over and over again in the hopes that the magical connection worked the other way as well. It didn’t, and Sakusa could only hope that Atsumu could shoot him a text at least.

On the day that marked the two months of Atsumu’s silence, he was literally in the middle of the lecture when he popped out. He wondered whether any of his seatmates noticed that he was now gone, but he was sitting indeed in the familiar dorm room of Atsumu and his roommate.

The same roommate fell out of the bed just when Sakusa appeared out of thin air on the edge of it. They both stared at each other with wide eyes, the man with spiked up gray hair and dark roots scrambling to get up from the floor he just fell onto.

“Bokkun, what the hell happened?” Atsumu ran into the bedroom to see his roommate on the bedroom floor and Sakusa on the bed, and his eyes widened in realization. “No way—Did you see him pop out of thin air? I’m jealous! Why don’t I see you when you teleport in, Omi?”

The poor roommate remained on the floor, who suddenly started screeching. “You have a superhero for a friend, Tsum-Tsum?!”

Atsumu laughed, walking towards the man and helped him up. “Omi, this is Bokuto Kotarou, my roommate. Bokkun, this is Sakusa Kiyoomi, my… well, ex-boyfriend. Sadly, he ain’t a hero. Apparently, his teleportation powers only work when I need him.”

Sakusa stood up from the bed, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. Atsumu spoke about the situation so casually, that his roommate also smiled as if something weird didn’t just happen. “Uh. Nice to meet you, I guess.”

“Oh, dude, you are that guy on the photo Tsum-Tsum has been staring at for days! You look better in real life, not gonna lie.” Bokuto grabbed his hand for a shake before Sakusa could react, making his face twist uncomfortably. “Oops! Sorry, I forgot that Atsumu mentioned that you were a germophobe!”

“Bokkun!” Atsumu hissed, taking Sakusa’s wrist in his hand and led him out of the room. Bokuto yelled a quick sorry, which only made the blond sigh and shake his head fondly. “Ya wouldn’t believe it, Omi. Bokuto might look like an idiot, but he’s damn smart and knows how to spike well. I’d say he’s close to your level of spiking skill, Omi-kun. But yer still better, of course.”

Sakusa couldn’t help but smile from the small praise, and at the fact that Atsumu acted normally rather than the distant and broken person he was in the past few weeks. He was glad to see that the other has healed well over the short span of a few weeks, but judging by his reaction, he was not expecting Sakusa to be here.

“Uh, you looked pretty shocked to see me here. Did you need me for something?”

Atsumu seemed to be reminded of the current situation and chuckled, nodding as they stopped by the small dining table. “It was just an unconscious thought, really. Bokuto and I wanted to make sushi, and I remembered how good you were at making them and maybe started to subconsciously wish that you were here to help me out.”

“Oh.” Sakusa nodded, looking around to find where the ingredients were. “Well, since I’m already here, should I help out, then?”

Atsumu nodded excitedly, immediately walking towards the mini-fridge and taking out all the needed ingredients. "Osamu stopped by with Rin to give us fresh slices of tuna, which made us crave for sushi!" The blond talked animatedly, as Sakusa went to the sink to wash his hands. "By the way, Omi-kun—am I disturbing you? What were ya doin' before you popped up here?"

Sakusa shrugged, taking the plastic container where the fish was, and started to rinse the fish clean as well. "It's okay, it was the last lecture of my day anyway and it was boring the hell out of me."

Miya smiled, walking towards him and wrapped his arms around his waist from behind. “Thank you, Omi-kun. You have been so kind to me lately.”

The taller fought the will to blush, focusing on setting up the ingredients instead of the warmth that radiated from Atsumu’s body that was pressed against his. “N-No problem.”

Finally, the blond focused on helping him with the ingredients. They bickered as they worked the kitchen, with Atsumu having little to no experience in handling the knife or anything useful to help Kiyoomi with. Bokuto jumped in to help them, which ended up with Atsumu and Bokuto throwing used wrappers at each other.

A small smile remained on Sakusa's lips for the whole duration of him making the sushis and the three of them eating together. It was fun and felt very warm and welcoming, and oh, did Sakusa miss having Atsumu's radiant warmth with him, making the stars in the sky ashamed for having Atsumu outshine them.

It was late, but Atsumu wanted to walk around under the blanket of stars, so Sakusa went with him. They weren’t talking, but they were holding hands. Sakusa had placed their connected hands in his coat pocket, to keep the both of their hands warm, while Atsumu stood close enough to exude his own body heat as well.

It was clear as day that the two of them still love each other. While grateful and hopeful because of this, Sakusa couldn’t help thinking whether Atsumu really did want this, want him, or it was just because of the recent turn of events. As he opened his mouth to talk, remembering Komori’s lecture about the importance of communication, Atsumu beat him to it.

“That day. That day when you broke up with me, I thought ya fell out of love with me, Omi-kun. But it looks like you didn’t. Tell me why, then. Why were you acting like that all this time, and why did you let us end that way if you loved me?”

Atsumu's hand still felt warm yet heavier this time, the atmosphere around them turning from pleasant cold to mercilessly biting. Still, Sakusa was aware that this was a much-needed talk. He steeled his resolve, staring straight ahead as he let his heart do the talking. "I've always thought that I wasn't good enough for you, like that day we almost broke up for the first time. That feeling has subsided back then, but it never dissipated. It intensified once more when I met Kita and thought that he deserves you better than I do."

The blond stopped in his tracks, making Kiyoomi stop along with him, their eyes meeting. “You bottled that up all by yourself? Those doubts?”

Sakusa averted his eyes, biting his lower lip as he tried to arrange his thoughts. “You were pretty closed off, too. You inform me about everything except the burden you carry, Atsumu. Your self-doubt and anxiety in being the best at volleyball, I learned that from your brother. Your problems that turned out to be from your mom battling cancer, I learned that from Kita. I never heard these directly from you, Tsu-chan. I thought you didn’t trust me enough, so I shut myself out too.”

Atsumu let go of his hands, and just as Sakusa started to feel cold, Atsumu placed those warm hands on his hips and pulled him close. “I’m sorry, Omi-kun. Yer just—so lovely, ya know? I never want to see ya frown, so I kept most of my problems to myself. Without knowing that doing that made ya feel worse. Osamu and Kita, they’re like family to me, so I could tell them with confidence. You… You are family, too. But I wanted to protect you more than anything I held dear, Omi-kun. I’m sorry I ended up pushing you away in the process.”

The taller placed his own hands on Atsumu’s lower back as well, pulling him close until they were both chest to chest. "I'm sorry too. I knew this could've been solved with good communication, but I was never a man of words. I promise, Atsumu. I promise that if you give me one more chance, I'll work on myself. I'll fix myself, and fight for us. I don't want to lose you again, Tsu-chan. I am used to being alone, but never lonely. I haven't felt loneliness until I lost you, Atsumu."

Atsumu’s eyes were glistening, but he held his chin up firmly as he looked into Kiyoomi’s dark eyes. “And I promise that I would trust you with anything, Omi-kun. I really do. Heck, you could tell me that a meteor landed and you found it, thus giving you these powers, and I would believe you without a doubt."

“You’re such an idiot.” Sakusa chuckled, leaning forward until his forehead was pressed against the blond’s own one. “Thanks for ruining the moment, by the way. So, is this the part where I kiss you senselessly right now?”

The blond only responded with a smirk, grabbing Kiyoomi closer by his collar and immediately crashed his lips against his. It was delicate yet intense at the same time, warm and passionate—everything that embodied Atsumu and the love he gives.

Sakusa didn't know how much he had missed having Atsumu this close, until his mouth was practically devouring the other's, refusing to let go even as his lungs burned from the lack of oxygen. When they part, they're panting on each other's mouth, warm breaths mingling together. The sight of Atsumu's red and swollen lips left Kiyoomi both satisfied and craving for more.

“For the record, you should never, ever, think about omparing’ yourself to someone else again. Yer perfect, Omi, I swear to god. How could I even look at someone else when I have ya in front of me? People would be jealous of me! Girls will cry, and I will laugh at their faces because yes, this man’s gay and he’s my man!”

Sakusa could never get over the embarrassing yet tingling sensation that resided in his stomach whenever Atsumu spoke of him like this, so reverent and worship-like that always reminded him that they were both madly in love with each other, and it was never one-sided.

Kiyoomi didn’t know what will happen tomorrow or the next days, or whether he would come across the same problem again or what other obstacles will come in their way.

But one thing he would forever be sure of was that as long as Atsumu needed him, he will be here.

Because Sakusa needed him just as much.

A year later

The first time they stood at the court with each other’s teams on the different sides of it, both of them promised to do their best to crush each other.

Sakusa particularly was determined to. He made a bet with Atsumu, and if he won today, he finally could make the other wear a skirt on one of their sexy nights after the blond had vehemently refused the idea ever since he suggested it.

Kiyoomi was a simple man, and yes, that was enough motivation for him to bring his A-game.

As he predicted, while Atsumu’s team was a pain in the ass and Bokuto’s spikes surely packed a punch, not to mention their very agile libero that he could distantly remember being Nekoma’s former one in their high school days, Sakusa’s team was much stronger. Of course, he wouldn’t dare be in a team that wasn't high caliber, so while Komori acted as his spokesman and he just glared and brooded by the corner, he made sure to whip his team to shape.

Their game was so intense and so closely tied that they ended at a deuce on the third set, with the final scores as 32-30, the last two points from Sakusa’s incredibly sharp spikes because he was feeling that good today.

Atsumu, who seemed to possess no shame, immediately ran under the net and greeted him with a hug, before showering his face with kisses in public. “Omi-kun, I forgot how good ya looked when yer playing, fuckin’ hell! The audacity of you givin’ me a boner in the middle of a game, really!”

Before more lewd words poured out of Atsumu's no-filter mouth, he covered it with his palm, glaring at him before walking out of the court in embarrassment. The blond, of course, followed him, and as soon as they found a dark corner they had an intense make-out session as if they were young high schoolers all over again.

When they had changed clothes and got out of the gymnasium, he bid Komori and his teammates a goodbye, since Sakusa was going to take Atsumu around Osaka and introduce him to his parents later.

As the two of them walked, they came across the same tree where their first almost-break up had happened. Atsumu pointed this out and looked at the beautiful tree which was just starting to bloom when an old lady approached them with a large smile.

"Such a strong connection you two have! I can see how tightly intertwined your strings of fate are. Tell me, how long has it been since you made a promise to this tree?"

They both blinked at the old lady, surprised at her sudden appearance and her choice of conversation topic, but Atsumu answered her nonetheless. “Four years now. How did you know we made a promise here?”

The old lady looked at the tree with a fond smile, pointing at the bark which had a big engraving in the middle of its trunk. “This ancient tree has been here for a hundred years. A miracle of its species, really. And it was planted by two lovers who promised to be with each other, from their lifetime to the next one. Whoever made a promise out of love here would be granted, and it can only be broken once the love between the couple has ceased."

Sakusa normally didn’t believe in such tales, but then again, it made sense. What else could explain the times he had teleported when Atsumu needed him? When he turned his head to look at Atsumu, their eyes met, and a silent message was in the air between the two of them.

I love you.

After a few more beats of silence, Atsumu thanked the old lady and bid their goodbyes. Once they were back in the path where they had walked, the blond's hand found his own, holding each other's hands tightly.

“Ya never really stopped lovin’ me, huh?”

Sakusa grunted and gave his hand a squeeze tighter than usual, making the blond yelp and laugh at the same time. They basked in the happy and comforting silence, shoulders touching, as the world before Kiyoomi has suddenly been painted with vibrant colors like everything has finally started to make sense.

He lost Atsumu once, yet here they were now, living happily and vibrant with him. The future was uncertain, yes, but his present longed for no one but Atsumu Miya.

"I love you." Sakusa finally said, making the blond draw a sharp breath, before releasing a peal of shaky, happy laughter.

“I love you too, Omi-kun.”