Archive of Our Own

If someone had told Liam a year ago that he’d be waking up in Theo Raeken’s truck for a reason that didn’t involve him getting punched in the face and not hate it, he probably would’ve laughed, gotten offended, and maybe even punched them in the face himself, but Liam isn’t the same Liam from a year ago, so that’s exactly what’s happening. He spends twenty minutes dozing away in the passenger seat while Theo drives them an hour out of town, letting all of his feelings from that Sunday night slip away for a little while. After the busy week he’s had, it’s one of the best naps he’s ever taken, even if the way his chin is angled down towards his chest is definitely going to give him a stiff neck.

He’s kept asleep by the steady rhythm of Theo’s calming heartbeat and the constant whirr of the engine, but he still doesn’t even stir when the truck rolls to a stop. What wakes him up ends up being Theo’s warm, light grip on one of his shoulders and the even lighter shake he gives him to nudge him the rest of the way awake. 

“Hey,” Theo says, softer than Liam from a year ago would know he was capable of. He pulls his hand away when Liam curls his back to stretch and blinks his eyes open. The first realization he has is that they’ve stopped. The second realization comes with the first one and a groan. “We’re here.”

Liam takes a deep breath and sighs. There goes his good mood.

He can’t help but scowl when he gets out of the truck and the cold air stings his sleep-warm skin. He leans against the side of the truck as he waits for the others - the others being Stiles, Scott, and Lydia as they get out of her car and Stiles’ Jeep - and wishes he was still asleep in Theo’s truck, or better yet, asleep at home where he was supposed to be tonight. Liam may owe Scott his life, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t annoyed with him for calling him out of nowhere and telling him that Theo would be there to pick him up and drive him to an abandoned house. Normal teenagers do things like play video games or catch up on homework on their weekends. Trips to shady houses to seek out potentially dangerous supernatural relics might seem run-of-the-mill to people like Theo and Scott, but Liam had a good fourteen years of those regular weekends before being turned, so he’s not likely to start counting something like this as an ideal way to end his weekend any time soon.

Scott and Stiles seem kind of irritatingly excited to be there, but at least Lydia has the decency to give him a sympathetic look as they all start to walk into the house. He’s also vaguely aware of Theo’s eyes on him as he comes from around the truck, but Liam really doesn’t have it in him to look back, so he pushes off the side and waits for Theo to fall into step next to him instead.

According to what Scott told them about the house a few days prior, back when Liam was listening happily and interestedly because no one told him that he was going to it, it hasn’t been touched in years, and Liam definitely believes him. The rotted wooden floor squeaks and creaks whenever anyone steps on it and Liam stays cautious of bumping the doorways every time he goes through one just in case the ceiling finally decides it’s had enough and gives in on top of them. Everything looks water-damaged and weak and it smells like it too, but that grossness is why they’re there.

The pack does get into some unnecessary things sometimes, but even Stiles has moved past the weird teenage desire to explore abandoned buildings just for fun. Scott brought them all there to help him locate and safely move a relic back to Deaton so that he can properly study, destroy, and dispose of it to avoid something potentially-catastrophic happening in case it gets into the wrong hands - or more likely, if a ceiling beam falls on it or a wild animal wandering in and knocking it over. 

The basement is just as gross as the rest of the house, if not more. The door just about falls off its hinges when Scott pushes it open, and three is apparently the maximum amount of people that get to go down the stairs, because one breaks out from under him when Liam dares to step on it. He’s only saved from falling right through by Theo snagging his elbow at the last second, and he’s too embarrassed to do more than mutter out a resigned ‘thanks.’ At least Theo keeps his comments to himself even if he does laugh under his breath.

The five of them stop in front of a pedestal in the center of the room, and Liam almost wants to laugh. After all of that, the relic itself looks pretty anticlimactic. It’s just a small, solid ball that can’t be more than four inches wide that looks to be made of an opaque dark purple glass, and it kind of reminds Liam of one of those crystal things his mom likes to collect. It’s not very threatening.

Liam can tell that everyone’s taking it a lot less seriously after that since Stiles goes to get it without any dramatic preamble. Even though he looks kind of disappointed, he still approaches with caution, a burlap bag in his hands. While they don’t know what the orb actually does, Deaton had advised them not to touch it - supernatural relics tend to be unpredictable, after all. Liam sobers up a little after remembering that, straightening up with the little bit of anticipation and curiosity that’s come back.

Stiles steps forwards with wide, focused eyes, the bag’s mouth open and poised to cover it, but that’s its undoing. One slight brush of the bag against the surface of the ball causes it to roll off the pedestal, hit the floor, and then bounce up and go flying.

Stiles yelps and drops to the floor first, Lydia and Scott following a second later, but it takes Liam and Theo a little longer. Before Liam can think about ducking down, he feels Theo’s arm reach out across his body to step in front of him, but that’s not all he feels.

He feels the brush of Theo’s arm now, but he also feels it back in the truck when he’d so gently shaken him awake. Feels it when it’d brushed past him as Theo tore a ghostrider off his back at the high school, and feels it wrapped around him at the hospital as he pulled him away from a hailstorm of bullets. The memories of Theo saving him makes something protective kick into place, so instead of standing by and letting Theo risk it all for him again, he reverses the move and pushes him backwards, watching him fall back against the wall with a gasp.

Theo looks up with wide, shocked eyes and parted lips, but Liam realizes too late that he’s not only looking at him. He turns around just in time to see the relic coming towards him at warp speed and stays unharmed long enough to feel Theo’s fingers wrap around his ankle in a last-ditch effort to pull him down, but it doesn’t work. The relic strikes him heavily in the chest and knocks the wind out of him, and he’s gone before he even hits the floor.

---

A small groan leaves Liam’s lips before he even opens his eyes, squeezing them even more tightly shut against the cold air and the cloying headache that’s taken its place right behind his brow bone. His fingers twitch out as his body wakes up, landing on something brittle and thin. He figures it’s just another piece of the rickety house that came off, but when he opens his eyes, it’s not that.

In fact, he doesn’t see the house at all. The sight that greets him is the open night sky, but instead of the cars and the building, trees with thin branches and leaves half-lost to autumn peek into the frame. Liam blinks. He wants to think that someone took him out of the house after he apparently passed out, but he knows that that’s not where he is. There’s something about the quality of the air that tells him where he did end up: deep into the forest of the Beacon Hills Preserve.

When he sits up, his head pounds so intensely that it feels like someone’s beating on the inside of his skull like a drum, but his headache becomes the least of his worries when he starts to reach up and rub at it. His hand pauses in front of his face and he sucks in a sharp breath.

His hand looks tiny, his fingers small as he flexes them to examine it, weak and childlike. A pang that feels like acid reflux in the back of his throat comes to him at that; childlike is exactly the right word to use to describe it. His hand begins to shake as he looks at the bruises on his knuckles and the scar running across the back of it, the one he’d had before he was bitten and all of the scars were erased off of his body, the one he’d been given shortly before his father left, and that was when…

That was when he was eight.

Liam shakily brings himself to his feet, whirling around to look at his surroundings. A billion unfinished questions start to form a jumbled mess in Liam’s pounding head at the same time, but before he can put any of them together, he spots the river running through the trees and starts off towards it, because unless touching that relic only gave him baby hands, he needs to see his reflection now.

He imagines dropping to his knees in front of the water and staring at his face as he runs, but instead of rushing right to it, his heels dig into the ground as he comes to an abrupt stop. There’s someone else there with him, a boy standing on the old battered bridge twenty feet ahead. Something about him seems familiar in a way Liam can’t place, and he doesn’t know what exactly he’s looking at until everything snaps into place all at once; a shaky, slow breath cuts through the air that could never be mistaken for the wind, and it’s followed by a pathetic whimper.

“Please,” A small, shivery voice says so weakly that the sound of it almost gets swallowed up by the moving water. “Please, please-”

Liam watches the boy on the bridge’s shoulders rise and fall with a breath that’s just as labored as the one he heard before. “I’m so sorry,” he whispers into the air, and that’s when Liam knows what he’s seeing.

This is Theo on the night he killed his sister, he realizes with another pang in his stomach, this one feeling more like nausea. This is Theo on the night that he took her heart for his own, the night that the Dread Doctors took him for their own.

Liam is an optimist, but he isn’t stupid; no matter what he feels for Theo now, he’s imagined this scene many times before, and it’s never looked like this. The things he’d imagined were brutal, like blood spreading through the water while Theo watched as she died with a blank expression on his face, not the pure fear and remorse that shows with only the shaking of his young, helpless body. The shaking sob that Theo can’t hold in anymore sends Liam’s feet into motion. He has to help them.

A branch breaks under his foot and Theo turns to look at where the noise came from with fear in his eyes, but he doesn’t get the chance to say anything before Liam’s running up on the bridge and tackling him down. They both roll off the bridge and onto the forest floor, and as soon as Liam regains his footing, he springs back up and rushes towards the water. Tara shakes and shivers violently as he gets his hands under her arms and uses all of his still-human strength to pull her up and out. He doesn’t even think about the glimpse he got of his young face in the water. All that matters with the adrenaline coursing through him is getting Theo and Tara out of there, which helps him gather the strength to pull her to stand on weak legs. 

Theo comes over to support her as her knees wobble threateningly, holding his arms out to help Liam hold her, but they don’t get to go together. Theo’s eyes flick from Tara’s shaky form to something just over Liam’s shoulder and his face goes white. Liam doesn’t need to look to know what it is.

“Go,” Liam hisses at him, pushing Tara to him. Theo catches her but stays frozen, staring at the man in the metal suit behind him with wide, terrified eyes until Liam reaches out and shakes him by the shoulders. “Go. Run, run fast, run until you can’t run anymore and then keep running!” He shouts, scaring Theo into compliance. He flinches hard, but grabs Tara’s wrist and pulls her along with him as he breaks into the fastest sprint he can manage with his asthma and her half-dead weight. Liam stands and watches, holding his breath, until they disappear behind some trees thirty feet out and don’t come back into his sight.

He breathes out a sigh of relief, temporarily forgetting about the monster behind him, and he’s rudely reminded of his presence by a hand wrapping around his neck and pulling him right off his feet. Liam chokes, hands instinctively coming up to clutch at the metal crushing his windpipe. The hand squeezes tighter, Liam’s head pounds harder with the sudden influx of blood, and clicking noises and the smell of rust and death take over what he has left of his senses.

The clicking and whirring coming from the suit should be unintelligible, but Liam knows what it’s saying all the same. “Wait, don’t-” Liam sputters, but the grip goes tighter and his body goes limp.

---

...And finally, for the third time in what feels like ten minutes, Liam wakes up again.

This time he doesn’t get to come into it slowly, not with a gentle hand on his shoulder or the graze of a leaf on his fingertips, but with the phantom pain of choking half to death. He rears up with a gasp so big and fast that it stings his lungs, and instead of staring into the night sky, he’s staring at the khaki-colored ceiling of...Theo’s truck.

Liam’s hands, which had been scrabbling at his neck trying to pull a nonexistent metal hand away from him, slowly lower down as he catches his breath. He looks down at them, relieved to see that they’re back to their normal size, and runs one through his hair tiredly. Jesus Christ, he must have been seriously tired. Between the weird dream and apparently having fallen asleep in Theo’s truck, he guesses that he just collapsed on any flat surface he could as soon as the mission was over.

Weirdly enough, Theo is nowhere to be seen, but while he’s searching for signs of him, he notices that the truck isn’t parked too far from the school. According to the time on his phone showing that he only has seven minutes before the first bell, that’s a good thing. He’s wearing yesterday's clothes, he doesn’t have his backpack, and a shower definitely wouldn’t hurt, but he really can’t afford any more tardies on his record, so he gets himself together and sets off towards the school.

Usually Liam doesn’t go to his locker in the morning and saves time during the day by carrying all of his stuff with him, but since he doesn’t have any stuff to speak of today, he heads there instead of going straight to first period. Mason and Corey are standing by Mason’s locker, and Liam grins, happy to see them.

“Hey,” Liam greets. He doesn’t think he’s being particularly loud, but Mason full-body flinches at the sound of his voice, making him take a surprised step back and hold his hands up in front of him. “...Just me,” He says amusedly.

“Oh, h-hey, Liam,” Mason stammers, eyes flitting around everywhere but him. “Did you, um, did you need something?”

Liam looks between the two of them curiously. “Uh, no? Just a pencil...Sorry if I interrupted something,” He says, figuring that he walked into a couples’ conversation. “Jesus, I’m having a bad day already. I woke up late and my head hurts like hell. I’m not going to be able to take the math quiz today like this. Did you guys study?”

Mason continues to look at him with wide eyes as Liam starts to fiddle with his locker. He kind of resembles a fish. “W-well, I, uh-”

“Yeah, we did,” Corey butts in, placing his hands on each of Mason’s shoulders and squeezing. Mason lets Corey take over, mouth snapping closed with an almost-audible click. “We actually should get to first period now, though. Don’t want to be late,” Corey says swiftly, starting to use his hold on Mason’s shoulders to steer him away. Mason goes easily, slamming his locker shut and going right along with Corey’s guide.

“...Okay…” Liam mutters as he watches Corey and Mason go, turning back to his locker and shaking his head. What was his best friend up to today? Who knows.

He tries his three-digit code twice, but it doesn’t work either time. Liam scowls. Even though he doesn’t use his locker a lot, he’s pretty certain that he has the code memorized. He keeps trying, but once the seventh attempt comes without any success, Liam groans low in his throat and starts to just pull at it instead.

He’s just about to resort to using his supernatural strength to break the metal lock apart when a throat clears behind him. Liam turns to glare at whoever it is, but his face quickly softens out when he sees Theo standing there with an amused smirk on his face. Liam probably would’ve rolled his eyes at Theo for making fun of him any other time, but he’s so relieved to see him in a normal state again that he can’t. He’s sure that he must look like a wreck, but Theo doesn’t seem to notice.

“Any reason you’re trying to break into my locker, Dunbar?” He asks, nodding towards it. Liam must make a face, because his smirk grows bigger and he raises an eyebrow at him. “Wrong one. You’re two-thirty- eight. That’s two-thirty-nine.”

“Oh, uh…” Liam doesn’t think that that sounds right, but with the morning he’s had, he’s not about to count out forgetting his locker number as a possibility. He moves onto the next locker over and tries the code, and the lock pops open on the first try. “...Thanks.”

Predictably, Theo doesn’t spare him much of a response - he just nods, laughs quietly, and walks off - but Liam doesn’t mind. He’s not sure how much of Theo’s snark he’ll be able to be grateful for if this is how his day is going to go.

God, he thinks as he shuts his locker after scrounging up some of the long-forgotten school supplies that he could find in it. He really hopes it doesn’t. 

---

But of course it does.

As the day goes on, Liam starts to notice that almost everything feels different, but he doesn’t know why. He’s no stranger to getting suspicious looks ever since the werewolves were exposed in his junior year, but the fact that people are avoiding him seems more noticeable than ever today. Wherever he goes, he can see people shying away; some move to the other side of the hallway when they pass, some falter and trip over their own feet when they accidentally make eye contact, and others turn completely around and go the other way. Students look at him and then quickly look away before cupping their hands over their mouths to whisper to their friends, and some adults look at him wearily, eyes narrowed, as he walks past their classrooms. Even Liam’s lab partner, who he’s been working with since they’d been assigned to each other three months ago at the beginning of the semester, seems hesitant to talk to him, too. 

If that isn’t bad enough, his friends act odd around him, too. He can deal with the strangers and acquaintances doing it, but when he sits down at his lunch table with Alec, Nolan, Mason, Corey, and Theo, some of them don’t even look at him. He sits hunched in on himself, staring at the table because he didn’t bring anything to eat, and starts to get nervous. He doesn’t have any big secrets that could’ve gotten out - the werewolf thing was his trump card - but he still wracks his brain to see if there’s anything that could have possibly gotten him in trouble. He comes up blank. For his own peace of mind, he settles for thinking that they’re all mad at him for screwing up last week’s lacrosse game, but it’s a weak excuse. No one - with the exception of Theo asking him how his day has been going, which Liam lies about but still appreciates - talks to him at all, and it’s disheartening.

Even his own alpha seems put-off by him. During the passing time before Liam’s last period class, he spots Scott coming out of the principal’s office, probably having been checking in with Mrs. Martin to see how things are doing in his absence, and heads over to him eagerly. “Hey,” Liam says happily, glad to see him after a few weeks of Scott being at college. “So, is the pack meeting still on for this Saturday?”

“Oh, you...you want to go to that?” Scott asks, raising his eyebrows. 

“Uh, yeah?” Liam raises one of his own in response. The plan had been up in the air in the pack group chat for a while, nobody knowing if they were holding the meeting on Saturday or Sunday, but Liam had assumed that it’d always been clear that he wanted to come. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Oh,” Scott says, voice lilting up. “Yeah, it’s still on.” A smile starts to spread on his lips, but it’s too soft not to be weird. It’s punctuated by Scott’s hand landing on his shoulder and squeezing in a way that’s probably supposed to be...reassuring? “I’m glad. It’ll be really nice to have you there.”

“...Right…” Liam says slowly, confused, but Scott doesn’t change at all. He squeezes Liam’s shoulder one more time before patting it and turning to walk away, leaving Liam standing there in a deep state of ‘what-the-fuck.’ “Oh, Liam, don’t forget,” Scott calls over his shoulder. “Wendigo research at the library tonight.”

Liam breaks out of his confusion but then pauses again. Scott had been the one to suggest that Theo gather information for the pack as some kind of penance for betraying them, but Liam didn’t think that Scott knew that he’d been sneaking into the library and helping Theo with it whenever he could. He’s still wondering what’s going on with Scott, but it still distracts him enough that he can nod. “I’ll be there,” He calls to Scott, who turns his head and grins one more time before he leaves.

---

Liam is worn-out and bone-tired by the time he gets to the library that night, so tired that Theo even beats him there. When Liam finds their regular table towards the back, Theo’s already there with several books strewn out in front of him and a notebook open to take down information on what he’s reading. 

Liam plunks down into the seat diagonal to him and runs his fingers through his hair exhaustedly, but he takes the book Theo silently hands him without hesitation. Last time they’d both been here, they’d been reading about the migratory patterns of born wendigos, so he picks up from there, resting his elbow on the table and dropping his head into his hand while he turns the pages with another.

Unsurprisingly, Liam doesn’t take in much of what he’s reading. The day has just been so tiring that if he’s not struggling to stay conscious, the only other thing he can do is dwell on how shitty it’s been. He doesn’t remember a single thing that was normal from the moment he woke up until now, not a single moment that someone wasn’t running away, angry, or ignoring him entirely.

Theo’s the only exception, but he’s not right either. He’s a lot more upbeat than usual, easy to laugh and even easier to smile, and he’s apparently having a great day with managing his pack relationships since Mason, Corey, Nolan, and Alec seemed to enjoy his company, but that’s not all it is. His energy just feels... different, and Liam can’t put his finger on what’s changed. Liam chews his lip, irritated at the thought; Theo is always unreadable, but at least he always stayed the same in a grounding way, and now that it’s gone, Liam has nothing to inhale and hold onto. 

Eventually, he stops doing his work entirely as he tries to pick out what the hell is going on with him. It’s by the grace of God that Theo doesn’t sense Liam’s laser-focused stare burning holes in his skin and an entire other miracle that he doesn’t hear the cut-off, frustrated sighs that slip through his lips when he finds nothing. It gets to the point that Liam wants to slam his stupid book shut and leave, so tired of the day he’s had and everyone in it and the headache that hasn’t stopped making his head throb for one second, but he manages to cobble together enough resilience to stay calm and in his seat. Dejectedly, he goes back to reading.

Theo is actually the first one to finish up. After a while of nothing but the sound of turning pages and the occasional scratch of pen on paper, Liam glances up to see Theo checking his phone and starting to get up. “I have to go,” Theo says, gathering his things.

Liam looks at him with surprise, wondering with a small frown about the consequences Theo could face with the pack for leaving early, but nods anyway. “Oh, uh, okay,” He says. “I’ll...see you next time, then?”

Theo pauses in pushing his chair in just to smile at him. “Yeah,” He says. “I’ll see you then.”

Once Theo leaves, Liam is still there at the table covered in scattered papers and books, and though he could take this perfect opportunity to leave, he decides to stick around and take more notes. He figures having something to show for the night could keep Theo from getting in too much trouble for leaving.

Unfortunately, his good intentions don’t carry him too far. Only twenty minutes and two more facts on his paper later, Liam feels his eyes slipping closed for the billionth time that day, and he can’t bring himself to try to stay awake any longer.

---

Liam’s dream cuts in and out between scenes.

He starts off walking into the abandoned house with Scott, Stiles, Lydia, and Theo to find the relic. The vague details he can remember about the soggy carpeting and mildew-covered walls are exactly the same in his subconscious as they were in real life, and everything feels more and more real as time goes on. He only stays there long enough to watch Stiles knock the relic off of its place, and then he’s somewhere else entirely.

That ‘somewhere else’ is the setting of the dream he’d had the night before; cold air whips into his skin as he rescues Tara Raeken from the water, Theo’s heartbeat thumping at a terrified pace in the background. Tara coughs and sputters out water in Liam’s arms, and he catches another glimpse of his eight-year-old face, a picture of innocence and naivety.

And then, without any warning, there’s a hand squeezing his throat.

The next pictures he sees aren’t anything he’s ever experienced before. He’s taken into a dark tunnel, the sewers a perfect echo chamber to the sounds of his struggle when he wakes up again in the Dread Doctor’s grip. He’s being carried through long, dingy halls that smell of blood and death until he reaches what can only be the operating theatre, the sight of sharp and pristine surgical tools resting on a rusty tray making him cry out. In the library, Liam’s body twitches. In his dream, he thrashes.

Then there are tears leaking down his neck and mixing with the cold sweat under his shirt as he squirms and screams and whimpers for help from someone who isn’t there. Four more metal hands come into view and hold his wrists and ankles down while the original two prepare a strange liquid in a syringe. One cold hand turns his head to the side by his forehead and the needle goes into his neck, sending a burning through him that has him wishing to die.

And then he has claws, and they’re ripping through a werewolf’s throat like a hot knife through butter. He’s killing, he’s maiming, he’s loving it. Tracy Stewart gets left in the sewers to die after his claws prick into the back of her neck to take everything she has, Josh Diaz’s body hits the ground with a dull thud with his eyes still open, and Scott McCall’s body grows weak and limp under his hands that are slick with his blood. He feels the freezing air when he gets sucked down under ground and then feels the sting of his first breath when he’s brought back up. He feels all of it, and as each scene pulses in and out, one thing is the same:

He’s choking. He’s choking, he’s choking, he’s dying. The hand is squeezing tighter, tighter, tighter, until tears leak from his bulging eyes and he can taste blood in the back of his throat. It’s his soft, bitten human nails scrabbling at the metal, it’s the whimpers that come out sounding strained, it’s the clicking and whirring of the Dread Doctor as he leans in to examine Liam’s face and deems him “potentially useful.” A “good enough replacement.” It’s the way Liam cries and prays and begs only to have the hand squeeze tighter, tighter, tighter until his body goes limp and all he feels is deathdeathdeath until he wakes up in the sewers with a wound that heals too fast and the cycle repeats over and over again until-

Until Liam jolts awake, the wooden library chair falling back and almost cracking underneath his weight as he scrambles backwards and away from nothing, only to end up pressed up against the bookshelf behind him as he begins to heave, panic gripping his lungs and stopping his airflow just as that metal hand had.

It felt real, all too real, and through the terror ripping through him, Liam realizes that what he’d just seen wasn’t a dream, and neither was the one from that morning. Pulling Tara out of the water, being taken, going to hell and back - those were too intense, too vivid to be just dreams. Those images were flashbacks. Memories. Getting hit with that relic hadn’t just knocked him into the next day, it had fucked with his entire universe.

As he’s shuddering through the aftershocks of his panic attack and fisting his hands in his hair so hard that strands come out between his fingers, Liam wonders what could have caused this and remembers Theo’s hand reaching out to grab his ankle right before everything shifted. His head falls back against the bookshelf behind him with a painful thump, but he hardly notices how it hurts over the growing nausea in his stomach.

Liam knows now exactly what this is. He knows why he has all these memories and Theo has been perfectly happy all day. 

It’s a role reversal, and that leaves him completely screwed.

---

Understandably, the next few days of Liam’s - Theo’s? - life come with a lot of stress. 

If Liam had thought that his one day of blissful ignorance was bad, the days that come afterward are total hell. That was only the calm before the storm. Half the time Liam is so wound up that he’s working himself down and away from having a full blown panic attack what feels like every four minutes, but even though he’s just barely keeping it together, he still needs to keep up appearances. Even though Liam’s version of Theo did all of the things that Liam’s now guilty of, he was still a student who went to school every day and put his issues to the side, and that’s the role Liam is expected to fill.

So while Liam’s having an existential crisis wondering what the hell he’s supposed to do to fix this, he also has to try to be as business as usual as possible so that no one asks any questions. He goes to his classes every day, stays away from the people who are supposed to be his best friends, and lives in his truck, for fuck’s sake. He hadn’t even known Theo slept in his truck. It sucks. He’s completely alone and lost as his entire world crumbles down around him, and he has no idea of how to even begin to put it all back together.

If he’s not struggling through the school day, he’s spending all of the extra time he has now that he has no friends or family or lacrosse practice every day by hitting up every library he can find within a ten-mile radius. He uses the computers to search any and all search terms he can think of, including time-travel, reality jumps, and reality-shifters, which is what he’s calling the relic now, but he can’t find anything that describes his situation. He even resorts to scouring every book in the library with any of those elements, fictional or not, and doesn’t find anything there, either.

It takes him two weeks to get through every relevant and semi-relevant book in the library and every page on Google, Bing, and even Internet Explorer. During that time, his eyes go bloodshot, his fingers tingle from constantly healing papercuts, and he feels himself slipping with every failure he endures. With each book he finishes and closes without getting anything from, the anxiety slowly stops roaring through his veins quite so intensely and is replaced by an ever-growing feeling of hopelessness that sticks bitterly between his ribs.

On the day he finishes the last book he could find, Liam feels himself fall completely. Etta, the little librarian lady who Liam has had time to get acquainted with from coming there every night and staying for hours, looks at him with a mix of concern and pity from where she’s re-shelving books a few feet away when she hears him close his book numbly. Without looking at her, Liam silently slips the book into the backpack he found by a dumpster near the school and walks out, barely feeling his feet hit the floor.

There’s no way back, and the fact rings in his head in a way that hurts worse than his migraine.

He walks into school the next day feeling completely defeated. He moves slowly through the hallways, finally able to tune out everyone else’s staring, with a blank mind. 

That day, Liam doesn’t even bother trying to get anyone to talk to him. He doesn’t look at Mason, Corey, Alec, or Nolan during his classes at all and has to pretend not to see Theo’s concerned stares, and once lunchtime rolls around, he doesn’t awkwardly take his place at the end of their table, either. Instead, he trudges over to the empty one a table away and keeps his eyes down.

He puts his stolen schoolbag on one of the seats next to him and pulls the book out of it, turning it over in his hands a few times before opening it up again. Deep down, he already knows that there’s nothing in it that he’s missed - he’s already read it cover to cover three times - but even though he’s about ready to scream, there’s still a little wisp of hope peeking through, no matter how weak.

Obviously the words haven’t magically changed to grant Liam access to the literal answers to the universe, so all of what he reads is predictably familiar and stale and he can’t make himself read for long. It’s also a lot harder to concentrate in the cafeteria than it was in the quiet library, especially not when Theo is looking like he does right now only a few feet in front of him.

Liam’s eyes land on his table without meaning to, but he can’t bring himself to look away, either. Mason, Corey, Alec, and Nolan are heatedly talking about a lacrosse play that only two of them actually understand, which makes Theo lean back in his seat and laugh out loud. A smile tugs at the corner of Liam’s mouth despite himself.

Their eyes meet across the space between their tables, and Liam isn’t able to mask the way his heartbeat jumps, caught. It doesn’t stop when Theo’s smile softens, and it definitely doesn’t stop when he gets up from his own seat to come over to Liam. Liam watches in stunned silence as Theo pulls out the available chair next to him and sits down like it’s nothing.

“Hey,” Theo says, bumping Liam’s shoulder with his own. “What’re you doing over here by yourself?”

Liam looks at that still-smiling face and has to swallow before he speaks. “Just…” He trails, shrugging. “Had some stuff to do.” He’s really starting to understand why Theo was always so vague all the time.

Theo glances at the book on the table and picks it up to examine the cover, which gives Liam plenty of time to stare.

As Theo looks at the book curiously, Liam’s eyes are free to trace over every line of Theo’s uncharacteristically open face. Really, if the detail he hadn’t been able to place two weeks back wasn’t obvious enough by his scent, the way Theo looks should have given it away.

Theo’s still human, and that changes everything.

Theo’s still human, so he never had any reason to disappear from Beacon Hills and was able to stay with his family and friends. Marie and Jonathan Raeken live in a nice house in town where Theo has his own room, and Scott and Stiles think of him as the third brother of the trio that never broke up. Theo’s still human, so he never overcame his childhood asthma, never joined the lacrosse team, and never got bitten by Scott as a result of spraining his ankle out on the field and getting dangled off the edge of the hospital roof - he wheezes, just a little, when he laughs now, because Theo laughs. Theo’s still human, so he laughs and he smiles and he’s happy because he’s never had to experience the weight on his chest that Liam now holds.

Instead of years of trauma and heartbreak and murder, Theo has a home, friends, and a long, raised scar between his pecs that he’d gotten when he inherited his sister’s heart the humane way, in the hospital after Tara ended up passing away of natural causes. Sometimes when something good happens to him, Liam sees him rub his knuckles over his shirt and along the line and smile, and Liam remembers breaking when he first realized why. He must feel lucky to be alive because of his sister saving him from his heart condition. There’s no blood staining his hands. Instead of a victim, Tara is a hero to him, and he remembers her with each heartbeat in a way that doesn’t make him feel sick anymore.

“‘Time-Travel for Dummies,’” Theo comments. “Looks interesting,” He says as he hands the book back. Liam takes it with shaky fingers. There’s a light in his green eyes and a soft smile on his lips, and- all of the fight goes out of Liam just like that. 

Theo is still the same sarcastic asshole by nature that Liam fell hopelessly in love with back when the world wasn’t screwing with him, but he’s so much happier now. This Theo knows nothing of the struggles he was supposed to endure, not the crimes, the regret, the loneliness, or having no place to call home. Liam can’t take that away from him.

Liam nods and bumps Theo’s shoulder back, relishing the way Theo’s easy grin gets wider. He can’t fix this for himself, but he guesses that until there’s a miracle solution, taking that weight off of his shoulders wouldn’t be too bad. Maybe it’s his turn to be the self-sacrificing idiot for once.

---

Slowly but surely, Liam gets his new life together.

The first thing he does is figure out his budget. It really makes him aware of the extent of the struggle Theo was facing - which only makes him feel more justified in his decision to stay - when he does all the math and puts together how much it costs him to live each week when he factors in food, laundry, school supplies, and Beacon Hills’ ridiculously high gas prices, but he works it out. Being more in touch with how much he needs to spend and save does mean that Liam’s skipping breakfast for the first couple of weeks, but it’s not terribly hard to get used to when he thinks about how Theo must’ve been doing it. Honestly, the guilt of having not noticed Theo being homeless until he ended up here is the best appetite suppressant.

The money problem eventually gets easier to handle, too. On his way to the laundromat, his backpack slung over his shoulder holding what few shirts and pairs of jeans he owns, he notices a bright ‘ask about applications!’ sign in the window of a new-ish cafe not too far from school and heads right in, laundry momentarily forgotten. As it turns out, people are a lot more likely to hire an attractive young man to be a server when they’re new business owners from out of town that haven’t heard of his reputation as a once-brutal psychopath. Liam debates suggesting that they put him in a position away from people so that no one stirs up a commotion about him being there, but he’s not about to look a gift horse in the mouth; a job’s a job, so he has to sacrifice his honesty for a few minutes during the impromptu interview they give him before he even fills the application out. Liam writes in all of his information right there in the cafe before he hands it to Al and Julia, the owners, who barely read it over before shaking his hand and replacing the paper with a list of employee policies. Liam has never been happier to read a list of rules in his life.

Once he gets started with his job, he finds that he really likes it. There’s not a whole lot to do when you’re stuck spending your time after school and on the weekends in the back of a pickup truck, so he’s happy to have something to pass some of that time. Along with never paying Liam late and being good business owners, Al and Julia are also good people who give him plenty of breaks, so he has a lot of opportunities to catch up on his schoolwork during his shifts. He figures that if he’s going to be living like this, he should try and stick to his original plan as much as possible, which involves going to a good college and doing something meaningful with his career. He figures there are also some pretty good scholarships out there for him when he considers the whole homeless thing, too.

During those little gaps in his schedule where he’s still left to stare at the ceiling of his truck boredly, he thinks about how much he misses his friends, but he works at that, too. He keeps up his friendship with Theo, who’s playing his role as the slightly too-forgiving and doting best friend of a proven serial killer just as well as Liam had done for him, but he tries to get closer to the others as well. He offers to help Corey with his homework whenever he can, since he apparently knows a whole lot more about science and biology now than he did back then for reasons he doesn’t like to think about. He talks lacrosse plays with Nolan, who’s confused about how he knows so much about them but is nevertheless grateful when he uses one of Liam’s suggestions to win his first game as captain of the team. He gives advice to Alec on how to handle the shift because he’s still struggling and helps him through his first few full moons with Theo and the others. He uses what he already knows from ten years of friendship with Mason lost to relate to him in this timeline, joking with him and relating to him whenever he finds the opportunity.

It all feels forced to him and he’s always afraid that he’s coming off as suspicious, but soon enough, it starts to work. They start to open up to him, laugh back, smile when he comes into a room instead of averting their eyes anxiously. None of it is anywhere near the way things used to be between them, but Liam likes to think that with enough time, they could get pretty close.

Most of the time, Theo is there with him to see him making that effort, and whenever he does, he smiles at him encouragingly and proudly. Liam remembers doing the same thing to Theo back when he’d been the one trying to make friends, and he’s forever grateful he did. It’s hard to be on the outside looking in, so he’s glad that he was able to ease some of that stress before he took all of it.

And every time Theo does one of those little things like give him a smile, sit next to him at school, or come visit him at work, Liam’s stomach flutters and he wonders just how far this role reversal goes. He was down bad for Theo ever since he pulled him away from his certain death at the hospital, but does Theo feel the same? It’s hard to deny Theo’s dilated pupils and unhideable quickened heartbeat when he’s around him, but even though Liam’s been in that exact position, it’s hard to believe that someone as innocent as Theo could feel something for him. Maybe this is what was going through Theo’s mind back when things were normal. 

The never-ending cycle is tiring and uncertain, so for the time being, Liam leaves it alone. He’s going to let Theo come to him when he’s ready, no matter the fact that Liam knows firsthand that he’s waiting, too. The chips will just have to fall where they may, and in the meantime, Liam will enjoy the sight of Theo leaning on the cafe counter and completely failing at being inconspicuous about his staring when Liam’s back is turned.

---

Liam has never been a good actor - he peed his pants onstage during his fourth grade play, a memory that he’s glad only exists in his own mind now - but for this, he puts on the best performance of his life. He’s so good at method acting that after a while, he starts to forget that he’s doing it.

As more pieces fall into place, his life begins to feel a lot more natural. Liam no longer thinks about how weird it is to wake up in a truck every morning, instead thinking about how he’ll soon have enough money for the first three months’ rent on a tiny apartment in town, he doesn’t bat an eye at the distance between him and his former best friend, and the glares of the students in the hallway aren’t a concern anymore. It gets easier to live as the former villain as he gives himself more time to find his own little ways of being happy, like when his bosses praise him for a job well done at the cafe or the nights he spends with Theo in the library while he helps Liam with his research. He earns Employee Of The Month four times in a row, Scott is happy with the work that he’s been getting done, and when grades come out, all of them are in the nineties. All things considered, Liam would dare to say that life is going pretty smoothly.

That’s why it’s such a shock to his system when someone suddenly reminds him that it’s not.

It’s obviously not Theo’s intention to throw a monkey wrench into his plans when he comes to talk to him one Friday afternoon, but that’s just what he does anyway. Liam’s watching the lacrosse team practice, planning on meeting up with Nolan to help him study afterwards, when Theo comes to sit next to him, doing that shoulder bump thing as he takes the spot next to him. Liam looks up at him and smiles. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Theo says, sounding less happy than Liam for once. “So, it looks like we’re not going to be able to hang out on Sunday like we planned. Scott, Stiles, and Lydia have me going along with them to try and find this weird relic for Deaton. I’d try to skip out on it, but they made it sound important.” Theo kicks at the bleachers frustratedly, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “We could hang out on Saturday, maybe? Or if you have work we can just do it next weekend,” He suggests, but Liam hardly hears him, suddenly frozen.

Liam hadn’t even begun to think about the possibility that the reality-shifter was still around and intact in this version of the timeline. He’d just assumed that it’d already been destroyed by the time he woke up here and that it wasn’t even in existence this many months later, but then again, Liam saving Theo has impacted so many things already that he really shouldn’t be surprised that it somehow managed to push the reality-shifter’s discovery back. That thing can screw everything up in the blink of an eye, and...oh God, what if it does it again?

What if Theo goes on the mission and the relic goes haywire again and hits him this time? If they’re lucky enough for it not to change everything in a completely different way, Theo touching the reality-shifter could reverse everything. All of Liam’s progress, all of Theo’s freedom, all of Theo’s happiness could be gone in a second if something goes wrong, and that makes Liam panic.

“A-are you sure they can’t get anyone else to do that?” Liam asks nervously, unable to keep the squeak out of his voice and accidentally cutting Theo off in the middle of his rambling. Theo raises an eyebrow.

“I mean...they probably could? You know you can come over any time you want, right? It doesn’t have to be this Sunday,” Theo reminds him, amusement creeping into his voice, but Liam is anything but amused. “Is there something wrong?”

Liam is incredibly thankful that Theo can’t hear his heartbeat going insane as he tries to figure out what the hell to say. “It just sounds like a dangerous move, that’s all,” He grits out, trying to keep his voice measured, but Theo still doesn’t seem to get it.

“Aw, you concerned about me, Dunbar?” He asks, smirking, and Liam’s fist clenches by his side.

“Theo…” He growls warningly.

“Seriously, Scott said it was just a run-of-the-mill trip,” Theo says, the verbal equivalent of waving him off that makes his anxiety ratchet up higher. “It’s nothing to worry about.”

“Great!” Liam exclaims. “So he can get someone else to do it!”

Finally, finally Theo reacts, bristling. “Liam, what-?”

“Theo, just tell him you can’t go!” Liam begs over him, because he’s far from above it. Theo looks at him, bewildered.

“Okay, what the hell is going on with you?” He demands. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

“I’m just saying that you could get hurt-”

“That’s bullshit, Liam, tell me the real reason-”

Liam snaps. “Theo, you’re going to- Theo, I know you’re going to get hurt!” He shouts, all of his frustration coming out at once.

The air around them goes silent, the only sounds coming from Liam’s hammering heart and the game still going on below them as Theo looks at him like he’s rocked his entire world, which...checks out. “...How do you know that I’ll…” Theo breathes, his voice shaky in a way that makes Liam’s heart clench. He shuts his eyes and tilts his head down, resigned.

“...The relic they want you to get is what I’ve been calling a reality-shifter. I know because I went on the same trip and it landed me in an entirely different timeline...landed me here,” He says. Theo stares at him blankly, lips parting open on their own. Liam has to swallow down the sadness he feels at needing to explain this before he pushes on. “Theo…everything that happened to me...it wasn’t supposed to.” His voice is rough, and it stings to look into Theo’s desperately questioning eyes. “It was all supposed to happen to you, and before I touched that relic and everything got flipped, it did. When that boy...when I pushed you off of that bridge and saved your sister, she was supposed to die. You were supposed to be taken by the Dread Doctors and turned into a monster, not me. You were supposed to leave her to freeze, and t-then-” He cuts off, wanting to cry. “But I didn’t let them, and I wouldn’t have been able to do that if I hadn’t gotten hit by the relic, and I’m glad I did it, because now you don’t have to deal with that burden anymore. I have to carry that with me now, and I’m fine with doing that, but if you go on that mission and you end up touching it, everything could be reversed.”

Helplessly, Liam reaches out to grab Theo’s hand and squeezes. “Please,” He pleads. “Tell me that you understand. Tell me that you won’t go with them.”

Theo stares at him for several seconds, several long seconds in which Liam feels his heart breaking. Theo’s unreadable mix of emotions and erratic heartbeat tell him enough, but the human in him still needs his words as confirmation. “Theo,” He pries, squeezing his hand again.

“Okay,” Theo finally chokes out a second later after the pressure brings him out of his head. “Okay, I...I won’t go.”

Liam doesn’t think he’s ever felt relief as intense as the kind that floods through him in that moment. He lets out a breath that sounds like it’s been punched out and lets go of Theo’s hand, though he wishes he could keep it right where it is in his palm. “Thank you,” He whispers hoarsely.

Theo nods and bites his lip, eyes finally leaving his, and starts to get up. As he watches him, Liam wants to grab his hand again, pull him back down, and tell him so many other things that have nothing to do with the reality shift, but he doesn’t. Liam lets him walk away, head down in thought, and understands. It’s a lot to take in and Theo needs time to process all of it, and even though Liam’s chest aches with it, at least he can still sit with the knowledge that he’s kept Theo safe.

---

On Sunday night, Liam lays across the backseat of his truck, staring at the ceiling and rubbing his temples against the headache. He’s managed to keep most of his worries to a minimum during the rest of the weekend, taking up extra shifts at work and throwing himself even further into his extra-credit when he wasn’t carrying around coffees, but now that he’s left here with nothing more than silence, he can’t distract himself anymore. 

There’s nothing else to focus on, either. He keeps picturing the mission that Scott, Stiles, and Lydia are on without Theo right now, Theo safely tucked away at his house with Mason and Corey to study like he told him he would be. If all went according to plan, those three would collect the relic and take it back to Beacon Hills to be disposed of without incident, and Theo would stay far, far away from it all and wake up well and still unburdened for school tomorrow morning. Liam imagines seeing him walk through the doors and curls his fingers against his fluttering chest, taking a deep, grounding breath.

In the back of his mind, he does realize that if he’s right about the relic they’re searching for being the reality-shifter, this could be his last chance for everything to return to normal. It would be easy for him to speed his way to the house and get to it before it's destroyed, but he doesn’t make any start to move from his spot. In his philosophy, everything is already so royally messed up that screwing around with any more supernatural relics sounds like the worst idea in the world.

And his point about Theo still stands no matter how the circumstances have changed - if Liam stays here, so does Theo. Theo being happy is all Liam has wanted for as long as he can remember. If allowing his last chance to change his mind slip away is what that takes, he’ll do it. He’s just glad that he got through to Theo before he made that mistake for himself.

Liam shifts in his seat with a sigh, getting more comfortable. It’s still pretty weird to have the mindset of a redeemed villain. Theo must have spent a lot of nights in his truck like this, laying there deep in his own thoughts.

At that, Liam’s eyes snap right back open. 

If Liam is taking Theo’s role and Theo is playing his, then he’s made a grave mistake - there’s no fucking way Liam would’ve ever taken the advice he’d given him.

Without a second thought, Liam sits up and clambers over the console to get into the driver’s seat, not even bothering with the doors, and throws the truck to a start with shaking hands and even shakier keys. Jesus fucking Christ.

---

Just as he knew there wouldn’t be, there are no cars in Theo’s driveway when he goes past it. The study group with Mason and Corey was a lie that Liam really should’ve been able to detect, and he swears under his breath about it as he fishes his phone out of his back pocket. He doesn’t take his eyes off the road even as he dials Mason’s number and shoves the phone up to his ear.

The call gets picked up after three rings, and Liam is so frantic that he doesn’t even let Mason get past his stuttered and clearly-nervous greeting before he’s on him.

“Where the hell is Theo? Is he with you?” Liam demands right over Mason’s small voice to see if he’ll lie, making him squeak. He doesn’t even have it in him to care about losing all the progress he’s made over the past few months at not scaring Mason half to death - he needs to know, and fast. He can hear Mason’s throat audibly click across the line as he hesitates. “Mason,” He growls.

“Uh, uh, yeah, we’re at his house studying for the s- the science test-”

“You’re not at Theo’s house. Where the hell is he?” Liam says it so certainly and harshly that Mason doesn’t only drop the act, he throws it right out the damn window.

“Okay, okay! He told me to tell you he was with us, but he’s not! He’s on a trip with Scott! It was something about a relic he didn’t want you to know about!” Mason rushes out. Liam already knew that that was where he was, but the confirmation still has him sucking in a nervous breath.

Liam pushes down harder on the gas pedal, sending his truck’s speedometer into the fifties. “When was the last time you spoke to him?” He grits out, trying not to fly completely off the handle and just barely hanging on. 

“H-he texted me just a few minutes ago. Said that he was almost there and thanked me for covering him and hopes that we’ll be able to...to ‘be like this again,’” Mason says. Liam can hear the confusion about Theo’s choice of words through the fear, but Liam knows exactly what it means, and it threatens to choke him.

“Fuck,” Liam breathes, lead weight settling in his chest. “Fuck, fuck. Okay. Thanks,” He says quickly, hanging up without waiting for a reply. He tosses the phone carelessly onto the passenger seat and speeds up even more, traffic laws be damned. He’s not thinking about the speed trap he knows is coming up ahead or the normally gut-wrenching experience of scaring his friend like that. Theo’s name screams over and over again in his head, yelling for him to get there before he’s too late.

Liam makes it there in record time, his truck tires skidding to a halt outside the abandoned house. Theo and the rest are nowhere to be seen around their cars, but Liam can still hear their footsteps on the creaky stairs and Theo’s voice as he talks to Lydia, saying something else that sounds way too much like a goodbye. Liam sighs in relief as he fumbles for the door handle and throws himself out, but only for a second - he’s not too late yet, but he can hear that part of the staircase giving out, which means he only has moments left.

He runs through the house, footsteps heavy and gunshot-loud on the wrecked wooden floor and he almost sends himself flying down the stairs as he reaches the basement, but he still only gets there just in time to see everyone happen.

Scott, Stiles, and Lydia’s heads all snap to him in shock, Stiles jolts hard enough that the bag brushes the relic and knocks it off balance, and Theo doesn’t look at him at all, His eyes trained on the reality-shifter as it rolls. 

As soon as the relic comes off the table, the other three duck down while Theo jumps forward. “Theo, no-!” Liam shouts, his heart jumping into his throat as he flings himself forward to catch him. He’s able to wrap his fingers around the swell of Theo’s bicep to pull him back, but he’s too late - as soon as he starts to pull, Theo’s hand catches the relic, and Liam’s vision goes black.

By the time they both hit the ground, Liam wakes up in a body that feels like his own again.

His entire body feels like it’s buzzing and he’s dizzier than he’s ever been in his life, but even though he’s just gone through another reality switch, he still only has one thing on his mind: Theo. The relic has gone back to flying across the room and bouncing off the walls as if nothing had touched it at all, and where he’s tangled up with Theo on the floor where they both fell, he starts scrambling to get it. His clumsy feet slide out from under him as he frantically tries to get up, get to the relic, get them back, but as soon as he manages to gather his wits enough to figure out which way is up, two strong arms wrap around his waist and pull him right back down.

“No!” Liam shouts as he topples back onto the floor and Theo pulls him closer to his own body. His legs kick out wildly and his arms reach around and try to hit him wherever he can, but it’s no use; almost effortlessly, Theo takes one of his wrists in his hand, wraps one leg around Liam’s fighting ones, and uses his other hand to cradle Liam’s head to his chest, both stopping him from getting out of his grasp and shielding him from the relic as much as he can. He doesn’t let go no matter how hard Liam fights and thrashes, holding him tight and tucking his face against Liam’s hair as the air whooshes loudly around them, and doesn’t let go for a few seconds even after it suddenly stops.

Liam is still kicking and protesting as Lydia holds open her bag and sweeps the relic out of the air from the floor, clamping it shut with her hands and then zipping it up. Liam’s body goes still and he groans in defeat and frustration as Lydia blows a piece of red hair out of her face and tosses her bag on the floor with a deep sigh of relief.

Theo’s arms loosen around Liam and everyone looks around cautiously except for him. The relic is still showing some signs of life within the designer beige bag, making it jerk around where it’s on the floor as the reality-shifter keeps trying to fly, but it doesn’t move enough that they take cover for much longer.

“There,” Lydia breathes, running a hand through her hair and standing up. The little moment of self-appreciation only lasts a second; she turns to Liam to level him with an incredulous look, and so do Scott and Stiles as they get up.

None of them have any issue with Theo since he technically didn’t touch it in this timeline, but everyone looks at Liam like he’s absolutely insane. “Why the hell did you reach for it?” Stiles demands with no finesse at all, flailing a hand out at him. His face goes red and he’s gaping, so shocked and out of breath that he can’t find any other words. The looks on his, Lydia’s, and Scott’s faces say enough, not that Liam’s looking or listening. 

The only stare he cares about is Theo’s, which is burning into the side of his face now that they’re no longer touching but still this close. Liam slowly turns to see and barely avoids flinching at how he’s looking at him. 

Theo has always been hard to read on a good day, but now it’s completely impossible. His eyebrows are cinched together and creating a little line between his wide, analyzing eyes, and his lips are parted even though it looks like he has no idea what to say. His chemosignals are even worse of a mess. Liam has no idea what he’s feeling at all, and he doesn’t know how to take it.

He doesn’t know how to take it when Theo suddenly breaks out of his daze, shakes his head, and scoffs as he pulls Liam up by the wrist and starts to walk out, either.

---

Theo pretty much puts Liam in the passenger seat of his truck himself - there’s no other way to describe the way he’d opened the door, shoved him in, and even gone as far as to reach across his lap and buckle his seatbelt for him - and starts to drive without saying a single word. The truck moves a little too fast through the night for Liam’s comfort now that he’s not the one in control, but he doesn’t dare say anything about it. The cab is filled with the swirling storm of mixed emotions, but Theo’s expressionless mask has cracked since they left the scene, and Liam isn’t stupid - he’s mad.

When Theo finally speaks, his voice is a dangerous kind of quiet that Liam’s never heard him use before. “Why the fuck,” He hisses lowly, voice shaking on the last word. He keeps his eyes trained straight ahead and his grip on the steering wheel goes white-knuckled. “Would you do that?”

Theo sounds rough and strained, and Liam’s first thought is that he hadn’t sounded like that at all just a few hours ago. It makes his throat go tight. He goes to say something, although he’s not sure what, but Theo’s senses are apparently super-tuned in and he cuts him off before a word can even begin to form on his tongue.

“Shut up,” Theo bites, slipping into clear anger. “Shut up. Just shut up. Don’t fucking say anything to me right now, just be fucking quiet. Liam, why the hell would you do that?”

Liam knows he’s not supposed to answer, but the anguish in Theo’s voice is way too much. The first words out of his mouth are definitely the wrong ones, but he doesn’t care. “You cannot seriously be mad at me right now,” Liam says indignantly, suddenly angry himself.

“Oh, try me,” Theo growls.

“For what?” Liam demands. “For- for trying to help you? For letting you live a normal life for once-?”

“For being a self-sacrificing dumbass!” Theo yells over him. “You could’ve gotten yourself hurt, or- or killed, or- fuck, Liam, that wasn’t your shit to deal with!” He cries, and Liam honest-to-God laughs.

It’s dry and hard and hurtful, but it feels just right coming out of his mouth. “Oh, that’s rich, coming from you,” He spits.

The blow lands just like he wants it to and Theo looks at him for the first time since they left, lips still parted and still speechless. His mouth opens and closes a few times but nothing comes out, and Theo turns back forward and slaps his hand hard on the steering wheel frustratedly. That hand makes its way into his hair and stays there, and the speed picks back up again.

They stay quiet.

For ten minutes, they stay quiet. Theo silently fumes while Liam stares out the window, neither one of them bothering how to hide how they’re feeling anymore, and the scent of each other’s stress sits heavily between them. Bitter, bitter anger and something a little sadder comes from Theo, but Liam doesn’t feel either of those things. What he feels is defeat. If he’d just been a little smarter not to trust Theo not go on the mission, driven a little faster to get to the house, fought a little harder to reverse what Theo had put back into place, they wouldn’t be here. This truck is Theo’s own again, his name on the paperwork and the keys in the pocket of his jeans, and it shouldn’t be.

Liam is so far into his own thoughts that he barely notices it when Theo starts to pull said truck over into a clearing off the side of the road. The truck rolls to a gentle stop and Liam looks at Theo questioningly, but he won’t meet his gaze. Theo wraps his fingers around the steering wheel again, only a little less tightly this time, and sighs out through his nose. 

“You know,” Theo starts, sounding much weaker and quieter than before. “I didn’t remember this life when we were in the shift, but I do remember what happened there now that we’re back,” He says. “I remember how this truck always seemed too familiar, and how I always had this weird feeling that Mason shouldn’t be being so nice to me, and that my head always hurt like hell. Yours did too. You complained about it all the time.” Theo turns to look at him. “Does it hurt anymore?” Liam’s only half-sure that he’s supposed to answer, so he keeps his nod small and meek. “Right. Mine doesn’t either. You’re not carrying around two lives anymore, and I’m not living the wrong one.” Theo takes a second to catch his breath. “Liam, my...my problems, my crimes...those are mine. You don’t deserve to have to deal with all that.”

“You don’t deserve it, either,” Liam interjects, voice picking up a little, but Theo must have known what he was going to say, because he’s already shaking his head before he starts. 

“I was the one who did it,” Theo argues without heat, just grim certainty. “ I was the one who killed Tara, I was the one who killed Scott, I was the one who killed Josh and Tracy and all the others, and I’m fucked up and traumatized and punished because of that. They are my hill to die on because I actually did it all. You didn’t.”

Liam looks down at his hands. He knows Theo’s right, no matter how much he doesn’t want him to be.

“I was just…” He says quietly, biting his lip and letting it go. “I was just trying to help. I wanted to fix it and come back at first, but you were just so…” Happy, he wants to say, but he swallows it back. “I’ve never seen you like that,” He says, and Theo’s heartbeat skips. “It was just so nice to see you so free, you know? When you didn’t have anything to worry about. You had friends, and a family, and Scott and Stiles, and...you had a life,” He says miserably. “And I guess I figured that after everything you’ve done for me it was my turn to save your life, because now that I’ve seen everything that’s happened to you and how much you’ve lost, I have... no idea what’s even keeping you around.”

Theo’s eyes had dropped, but they come right back up to look at Liam sharply, and not in anger or defense; it’s surprise, and it comes right through in his voice. “You think I don’t have anything keeping me here?” He asks, genuinely sounding a little breathless. Liam shrugs helplessly, tiredly, staring at his lap. He feels like a child coming down from a tantrum, pathetic and stupid. “You... God, Liam,” He hears Theo breathe. “I knew you were an idiot before you tried to take over my life, and I definitely knew after that, but Jesus Christ.”

Liam looks up at Theo in confusion. “What?” He asks, really wondering what he said wrong, but before he can say anything else, Theo’s clicking his seatbelt out of the way, leaning over the center console, cupping Liam’s face in the warm palms of his hands, and kissing him.

Liam freezes, his hands coming up in the air to stay suspended just above Theo’s shoulders, but as the warmth of Theo’s lips seeps through him, so does the constant stream of oh God oh God oh God running through his head, and with that, he melts down into it like it’s the easiest thing he’s ever done. His hands clutch in the fabric over Theo’s shoulders as he presses in closer, tries to kiss him harder, but when he realizes Theo’s trying to keep it soft, his body loosens too. His hands go to rest on Theo’s actual shoulders instead, both of them squeezing before one of them moves up to hold the back of Theo’s neck, fingertips tickled by his soft hair. 

Liam had always imagined their first kiss to be in the heat of the moment as their pent-up anger and frustration finally came to a head, and maybe it is, but it’s in a different way. Instead of rough and biting like he’d thought it’d be, the way they move together is slow and searching and comforting and so, so much better than anything his wildest dreams could’ve come up with. It’s so overwhelming that Liam is more than breathless when Theo pulls away from him, and by the pause Theo takes before he starts speaking, Liam’s willing to bet that he isn’t that much better off.

“I don’t know how to convince you that I’m fine right where I am,” Theo starts slowly so that Liam will hang on to every word - he does, of course he does - with an ever so shaky voice, staying close and looking into his eyes. “But I am. I’m okay. I have issues, and nightmares, and... so much shit that I have to deal with, but I’m...I’m more than okay right here.”

Liam wants to say about a million and one different things, but he also really, really doesn’t. He does want to keep looking into Theo’s dilated eyes, but his gaze slips right back down to Theo’s kiss-swollen lips, and he goes a little dizzy again. 

Before he can forget what Theo said in its entirety, Liam makes sure that he nods just enough to tell him he understands but not hard enough to disturb Theo’s hands on his face and starts to inch forward. He waits with bated breath to see if Theo will follow him, and he does - oh God, he does.

While Liam loses himself in the feel of Theo’s kiss, he starts to accept that Theo’s telling the truth; he’s okay. He’s more than okay. He’s okay, and Liam is okay, and they’re kissing. It has to be pretty hard to be anything less than okay when they have that.

As Theo moves one hand from Liam’s cheek to cup his jaw and Liam sighs, he knows that they’ll be okay. They’ll work at it together - hell, Theo will never be able to get Liam to stop helping him work at it after this, they both know it already - and they’ll be okay.