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Nicole couldn’t remember how many times she’d listened to the song. Rachel had introduced her to it months ago, and it was like nothing she’d ever heard before.
In the privacy of Waverly’s room in the empty house on the Homestead, she was able to turn off her mind and let her body do what it wanted.
What had started as her head bopping to the beat, turned into her entire body gyrating. Every movement was reminiscent of being possessed, except it was just her. Nicole Haught, ex-Sheriff. The entire time Waverly had been gone she had been tense. Frankly, it was the only way she kept herself together.
Now that Waverly was back, she was adjusting.
Slowly.
She was constantly torn between wanting to spend every second with Waverly and wanting to be left alone. Having Waverly back didn’t make the pain go away. Not like she thought it would. It forced her to understand that she wasn’t the same person she’d been before. Nicole wasn’t sure Waverly could handle that.
Handle her.
She started the song from the beginning, closing her eyes as the beat snaked its way into her ear.
White shirt now red, my bloody nose
Nicole knew the song by heart and her lips mouthed the words as if they were her own. Her body started swaying slightly until the snaps came in and suddenly her feet were moving.
So you’re a tough guy
Like it really rough guy
Just can’t get enough guy
Chest always so puffed guy
I’m that bad type
Make your mama sad type
Make your girlfriend mad tight
Might seduce your dad type
I’m the bad guy.
Duh!
The sharp transition to the musical interlude is where Nicole lets go. Her body jerks and moves to the beat, unclenching her muscles while the world falls away. That was why she did this. She wanted to forget the last eighteen months. This was the closest she could get.
I like it when you take control…
Her hands clap to the beat as the second verse starts and her body goes back into its slow fluid movements. The beat gradually builds, and Nicole’s body opens allowing the beat to take over.
Then it repeats.
Her hands used for emphasis as she mouths the words of the chorus again. They fell off her tongue easily despite the contrast to the core of who she is. Who she had been. A deputy and then Sheriff. Titles that no longer belonged to her. There were things that she’d done to survive that would haunt her for the rest of her life. She couldn’t possibly go back to a life representing the law.
I’m the bad guy.
Duh!
Once again, Nicole let her body move on its own accord, her movements becoming more frantic as the interlude builds to something else. Something she could feel in her bones. Waiting for that beat to drop.
I’m only good at being bad
Baaaaad…
Her body pauses in the brief second of silence and her eyes open as the beat drops and she is dropped back into Waverly’s room. While the beat vibrates through her body, Nicole stands shocked as she sees Waverly leaning against the doorway of the bedroom. She pulls the headphones down around her neck, with shaky hands, as the silence between them lingers.
“Hey, it’s okay baby,” Waverly spoke softly, taking her hands when she was within reach, and kissed Nicole’s knuckles tenderly.
She was so terrified Waverly wouldn’t accept her. She had changed so much and yet Waverly was still gentle, kind, patient Waverly.
Nicole’s head rose when Waverly pulled the headphones off her neck and put them over her own ears so she could listen to the song. With an amused smile, she took them off and set them aside before moving closer to Nicole, wrapping her arms around her shoulders, gently kneading the back of her neck. “Is this your way of telling me you had the hots for Charlie too?”
Nicole couldn’t stop her eyes from rolling as she looked down at Waverly’s grinning face. “No offense to him, but he’s not my type.” She said scrunching up her nose, tossing her phone onto the bed so she could pull Waverly closer.
“Well, Nicole Haught, who is your type?” She teased as she gazed into brown eyes.
In the worst version of their story, she’d never see that look again. She’d never see the smile that lit up Waverly’s face or feel the warmth that surrounded her because of it.
“You. You are my type, always.” Nicole whispers as she leans down to rest her forehead against Waverly’s.
“And you are mine.” Waverly tucked her head under Nicole’s chin, taking a deep breath as she relaxed against her.
Closing her eyes, Nicole enjoyed the moment as she squeezed her girlfriend tighter. Then she had a sudden thought that caused her to pull back and look down at Waverly.
“Promise me that you will never tell anyone about this. Not even Wynonna…especially not Wynonna.”
Her moment of panic was soothed as Waverly gently ran her fingers through her long hair.
“I promise.” Waverly's hands settled on Nicole’s cheeks forcing their eyes to meet.
“I promise that I am never leaving you again. I promise that I will always be there for you, no matter how hard things get. I promise that I will love you until we cease to exist.” Tentatively, she lifted herself up to brush her lips against the redhead’s.
“I’m sorry I didn’t say yes.” There wasn’t a day that went by where Nicole didn’t think about that moment repeatedly. She had found herself tongue-tied when Waverly had proposed and it followed her around, taunting her as the days following continued on without Waverly by her side.
“You are extraordinary, Nicole.” Their eyes were locked on each other as tears started welling in Nicole’s eyes. Reaching up, Waverly wiped them away then tucked herself into Nicole’s embrace with a sigh.
“You know that song reminds me of…”
“Wynonna.” They said in unison.