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Forgive me,
if I stumble and fall
for I know not how
to love too well.
I am clumsy,
and my words
do not form as I wish.
So let me kiss you instead,
and let my lips,
paint for you,
all the pictures
that my clumsy heart
cannot.
-Atticus
The last time Varian had seen Sophie, it had been from the back of a police wagon.
He didn’t remember much from the day of his arrest, aside from the dark cloud of anger, hatred, and bitterness that consumed him. But there was one memory in particular that he couldn’t forget, no matter how hard he tried, and that was the sight of Sophie’s face.
From the very front of the growing crowd, there she had stood, her body rigid with shock and her face shining with tears that she hadn’t bothered to wipe away. She didn’t speak, but Varian could see only one word permeating throughout her entire being - Why?
They locked eyes, and that was when Varian had felt the first raw pangs of regret that would haunt him in the days and months to come. Every time he closed his eyes, he would see Sophie and his father, both perfectly preserved and frozen in the hurt he had inflicted upon them.
She had tried to visit him. Every so often, a guard would approach Varian’s cell and roughly tell him that someone was here for him. And every time, with a quiet shake of his head, Varian refused. He couldn’t let Sophie see him like this, even though every inch of him screamed and begged otherwise. He just couldn’t. No.
That was part of the reason he joined Andrew and the other Separatists in taking over the kingdom. Varian was never interested in ruling anything, he just wanted everyone - including Sophie - to forget all the mistakes he made. If Sophie didn’t remember how badly he messed things up, then maybe there was a chance she could fall in love with him again.
Yes, Varian admitted to himself, the rumors were true. He loved Sophie. He had always loved Sophie, even before he understood what love truly was. It was kind of like that one Bible passage Sister Clara always talked about, the one about how love - true love - was patient and kind. It wasn’t loud or arrogant, demanding constant attention, but calm, quiet, and introspective. True love accepted you as you were, no matter how many of your inventions failed or how insecure you felt. You couldn’t always see it, but you could always feel it because it was there.
Just like Sophie.
In the dim lighting of the dungeon, Varian blinked at the young woman who now stood before him. How many times had he imagined this moment with a mixture of both excitement and dread, wondering what it would be like to see her again after all this time? This would be the last time he would ever get to dream about it, and that was fine by him.
Sophie was taller now, but also thinner. She had always been on the slim side, but it was clear that she looked this way due to rationing food and running away from guards - his guards, Varian thought guiltily. Along with that, instead of her customary green work dress and apron, she now had on a gray hooded tunic and dark pants that nearly caused her to blend in with the dungeon walls.
On her back, Varian also noticed that Sophie was now carrying a quiver full of sharp arrows, its bow slung haphazardly over her left shoulder. Seeing her with a weapon surprised Varian, as she had always been more of a pacifist, but it didn’t really shock him. All citizens carried a weapon in this new Corona, and it appeared that Sophie was no exception. He just prayed she never had to use it.
Sophie was staring at him now with those wide green eyes, her face a mixture of shock, hurt, anger, and what appeared to be relief. The firelight flickering on the wall made her freckles pop, and she seemed to have only acquired more during their time apart. And her hair – the long, brown braid that used to hang over her shoulder was gone, replaced now by a short, wavy bob that ended just past her chin, held back with a few barrettes. Despite the circumstances, the old butterflies Varian always felt around her made a swift comeback.
“Varian.”
She said his name so quietly that it made his heart hurt, like she was afraid he would vanish if she spoke too loudly. But Varian wouldn’t vanish. If Sophie forgave him, Varian swore that he would never leave her side again.
“Sophie.”
His own tone was lower than normal, reflecting both the shock he felt and the deep shame at what he had done. He wanted so badly to hang his head, but found himself unable to tear his gaze away from Sophie’s.
The room fell silent, and Lance glanced back and forth between the pair.
“Well,” he said. “This is awkward.”
Varian’s face flushed a deep red and Rapunzel said something about planning their attack as she dragged Lance, Pascal, and a very confused Eugene (“You’re leaving them alone?! ”) away from the scene. She threw a quick, reassuring smile towards Varian, but he only managed a halfhearted grin back.
Once everyone was gone, Varian took a deep breath and steadied himself for what he had to say.
“Sophie,” he began quietly. “I’m so, so sorry for everything I’ve done. To the kingdom, to the royal family, to you…” Varian shook his head. “I never should have gone off like I did, I never should have gotten so angry at everyone, because it wasn’t their fault, and it wasn’t your fault. I’m the one who messed everything up, and it’s my responsibility to fix it. I know I’ll never truly be able to make it up to you, but I swear that I’ll do anything and everything in my power to try before anyone else gets hurt or kil-”
Varian’s rambling apology was cut off when Sophie suddenly stepped forward, took his face in her hands, and pressed her lips to his.
Varian’s eyes widened in shock as Sophie kissed him. Of all the responses he expected from her (which included yelling and/or having various kitchen utensils thrown at his head), this was not one of them. However, that didn’t mean it was unwelcome in any way, shape, or form.
Closing his eyes, Varian silenced his racing thoughts and, after fourteen long months, finally kissed Sophie back.
As soon as it began, the kiss ended only a few seconds later. Opening his eyes, Varian saw Sophie standing silently in front of him again, as if she had never kissed him at all. It was then that he realized he must have grown taller during their time apart because while Varian used to be able to look directly at Sophie, he now found himself lowering his head to meet her gaze.
Despite her stoic expression, Sophie’s cheeks were every bit as flushed as Varian’s, and there was something in her gaze that he couldn’t quite place. He opened his mouth to speak, but Sophie put a finger to his lips.
“Let’s go.”
Closing his mouth, Varian nodded mutely and followed Sophie out of the dungeon, passing a smiling Rapunzel and slack-jawed Eugene and Lance along the way.
Despite Sophie’s curt demeanor, Varian couldn’t deny the wave of relief that spread throughout his chest. She hadn’t forgiven him yet. That would take time, far more time than they had on their hands at the present moment. But it was a start, and for that, Varian was more than grateful.