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Sasuke was sitting on a sandy blanket that was more crinkled up than it was spread out. It was past midnight and the wind of the cool night was slow, but swift. He could taste the salty air as he opened his mouth to take a big inhale. As he looked around the dimly lit beach, his eyes floated between his friends and acquaintances. All in all, there were only around 5 or 6 people left, most leaving to party hop at other houses. However, the people remaining were people Sasuke considered closer than the others. So, he didn’t mind if the party had become more intimate.
It was his senior year in high school. Actually, his senior year had ended that day. He was five days away from being a graduate. He’d turned 18 early on in the year, but was only finally starting to feel like the adult his family had praised him to be. Being one of the older kids in his grade, he was always reared as the smartest, coolest boy. Girls fawned over him constantly. It didn’t bother him that much, but he didn’t really pay much mind to it. His focus was his schoolwork and his extracurriculars. Thankfully, during his academic years, he’d grown close to a few people that kept him around. A majority of them—at first—just studied with him and used his smarts to keep their own grades up to par. Yet, as the weeks and months turned into years, they all became inseparable. Sasuke even found himself going over to friends’ houses after school instead of straight home. Once he’d been accepted to his dream school, he’d decided to take advantage of the social status he’d been granted by hanging around his current friend group as frequently as possible.
This night was their final hurrah. A bonfire that had lasted for hours, and drinks that were still flowing… The beachside of their little town had made it illegal to host bonfires on the beach, but that didn’t stop them from engaging in the rebellious activities of their youth. Sasuke wasn’t afraid to get caught by any authority either. His father, the deputy at the Police Department, would save his ass anyway. He wanted to enjoy himself. He wanted to spend these last days with his friends who took care of him.
He looked towards the water, where the moonlight was reflected in its natural beauty. It was so serene. Even though some of them were laughing and yelling, drinking and smoking… He felt at peace. A chapter of his story had finished in the most lovely way possible. All he wanted to do was bask in the perfection of that night. He truly didn’t want it to end.
As he lost focus in the moonlight, he suddenly saw the sun blind his vision. Sasuke’s body shifted unconsciously. His eyes were glued to the golden hair that reflected the moonlight so vibrantly. He couldn’t stop himself from tightly gripping the blanket beneath him.
Naruto…
Naruto was the first one in the friend group to make him honestly feel accepted and like “part of the crew.” The two had a few classes together their sophomore year, were placed together on certain group projects. The blonde started to invite Sasuke around more often to group hang outs and such… Everyone knew who he was already even though they hadn’t been formally introduced. But Naruto still went through the effort of personally meet-and-greeting Sasuke with his crew. All of them did a multitude of different things: Sakura was set on becoming a doctor, so her studying and focus had a strict routine. Shikamaru was interested in politics, but he was lazy. It was actually Naruto who pulled him out of his rut and lit a fire under his ass. Ino wanted to be in medicine as well, but didn’t know in what facet. Neji came from a wealthy family. He was gearing up to take over the family business. And Naruto? He had big dreams. Anyone would call him out and find them unattainable, but he shrugged them off with a smile. He wanted to go into non-profits, with a main focus on helping children in unfortunate home situations all around the world. His global reach seemed unlikely, but he wasn’t one to let doubt bring him down. It was admirable. Sasuke wanted to become a lawyer, so he could become a DA. His family believed in him and he knew how important that feeling was, and so, he wanted to return that feeling to Naruto. He believed Naruto could do anything he set his mind to… And there were reasons for that.
Sasuke watched as Naruto took a swig of a beer. Him and Shikamaru were in a heated conversation about whether or not monopolies should be legal or not. Shikamaru’s strategic conversational tactics outweighed Naruto’s by a handful, but Naruto’s debate passion was unrivaled. Even if his ideas were outlandish, how he spoke made people want to hear more. Sasuke couldn't help but watched as his blue eyes sparkled as he tilted his head towards the sky to catch the moonlight. He couldn’t help the butterflies in his stomach as the raspy laugh carried its way over to Sasuke. He couldn’t bring himself to turn away as he caught Naruto’s eyes for a second.
He considered the blonde to be his best friend. Well, he considered all of them to be his best friends, but Naruto was different. He felt at peace whenever they were together. It was hard to place the specific emotion to describe their relationship. To be honest, it was a million things all together. Something more than love itself even. He had a hard time coming to terms with that notion, but he couldn’t describe how he felt in any other way. And he hadn’t realized it until their senior year. He’d been foolish in thinking he knew the type of person he wanted to be with. He’d based his attraction off of the women his older brother liked and brought home to meet his family, but the truth was, he was a different breed all together. The small crush he’d developed had blossomed into a dying love. He didn’t even know how to breach the subject with anyone. He didn’t even know if anyone knew he was in love with Naruto…
Sasuke sighed. It’s not like it mattered anymore. It was their final year all together as a crew. Naruto had been with multiple women through their high school years. Chances were that he was sexually active and definitely aware of his sexual orientation, which, unfortunately, wasn’t Sasuke.
He looked at Naruto again, shocked to see that the blonde was gazing back at him. He watched as he tossed the empty beer bottle into the trash bin, making his way over to Sasuke. Sasuke felt his breath hitch and shivers went down his spine. He, unconsciously, held his arms across his chest and rubbed his biceps in an effort to calm himself down and warm himself up. The two of them kept eye contact and, as Naruto got closer, Sasuke could clearly see the smirk break out across his lips. It hurt. It hurt so much. Sasuke saw Naruto use that smirk all the time. It made multiple girls swoon. However, he noticed that he never used that smirk on those girls. Whenever he caught sight of it, it was always aimed at Sasuke. Whenever he’d see Naruto down the hallway and they made eye contact; He’d get that smirk. Whenever Sasuke said something in their group that was a deadpan sarcastic comment; Naruto would throw him that smirk. It was specially made for him. Or so he believed. And Sasuke knew why he wanted to claim ownership over it.
Naruto finally reached the bonfire and stood beside it, bending over to grab another beer from the cooler, then twisting the cap off with his teeth and taking a swig. If anyone else did that, Sasuke would be confused, probably disgusted, but with Naruto’s natural rough nature, it was all the more fitting.
“What’re you doing all by yourself?” Naruto teased.
“I’m just enjoying the fire.” Sasuke responded, looking up at him. He felt so small in comparison to Naruto. He was like the moon and Naruto the sun. However, the moon can’t shine without the sun. Sasuke felt beholden to Naruto’s brightness. Just with one social interaction, Sasuke felt the life return to him. The peace he’d felt throughout the night was different than this peace. He went from being an observer to the center of attention. At least, that’s how it felt whenever he had Naruto’s eyes locked on his own.
“Do you mind?” Naruto asked as he gestured to a spot on the blanket beside Sasuke. He scooted over a bit, and Naruto crashed down beside him, their shoulders brushing. He watched as Naruto took a sip of his beer.
“You look cold.” Naruto commented, and Sasuke shrugged. He had forgotten how cold it got on the beachside at night. Even as they neared the summer, the wind and the cool waves made the temperature drop. He was wearing jeans and a loose fitted tee shirt, while Naruto was wearing jeans, a shirt, and a polyester sweater.
“Yeah, I didn’t really plan right.” Sasuke chuckled to himself. He could feel Naruto gazing at his profile, swigging the beer again. The silence made it feel as though he was contemplating something.
Sasuke looked back at him, braving the eye contact. The peace being disrupted by the intense pressure he felt in his chest. He didn’t realize how close they were sitting, not to mention the casual sway of Naruto’s body due to his intoxication. Sasuke wanted to clutch the skin underneath his shirt, as if it would help him calm down. He exhaled to calm himself.
“What’re you looking at?” Sasuke breathed.
“You. Obviously.”
Sasuke nodded. “Obviously.” He turned his head away, unable to hide the shiver that was sent down his spine again. He really didn’t know if it was Naruto’s presence that sent him shivering or the cold.
He felt Naruto shift beside him, bumping into his shoulder. As Sasuke looked back over, he noticed Naruto had taken off his polyester sweater and was handing it to the raven. Sasuke’s eyes went wide with slight confusion.
“What’s this?” He asked.
Naruto just shoved the sweater against Sasuke’s chest, forcing him to grab it. “Take it.”
“And do what with it?”
Naruto shot him a look. “Put it on, bastard. You’re shivering.” There was that smirk again.
Naruto turned his head back to the fire and placed his hands near it to warm himself up. “I’m naturally hot.” He chuckled. “And I’m not talking about my looks, even though, I know they—“
Sasuke shoved him. “Don’t be a cocky loser.”
“It’s a joke!” Naruto chuckled, shoving his hands in the air in defeat.
Sasuke couldn’t hide a small smile as he looked down at the sweater he now held in his hand. It was so soft. Knowing Naruto wore something this delicate was so… Funny. He was so loud, boisterous, outgoing, rough, tough… Yet, he wore something so light and airy that it was almost feminine.
“What? You don’t want it?” Naruto placed his hand on top of the sweater, and Sasuke almost instinctively pulled it away. It was a quick, jerky movement. And he hid his face from the blush that colored his cheeks. He doubted Naruto would be able to see it in the dim light, but he was embarrassed either way.
“Trust me. I’m all good.” Naruto said, shrugging away the moment before.
Sasuke lifted the sweater and pulled it over his head. The motion was slow and he closed his eyes, letting the scent of Naruto waft into his being. He smelled fresh, but also strong and stable; Like a rainforest. The softness of the sweater brushed over his nose and lips. He closed his eyes taking in the imagery that was cloaked within it. He could imagine being tucked under blankets, looking up at the starry night sky. He breathed in, deeply, praying that the scent never left his body.
As he pulled it over his head, his nostrils were struck with the salty beach air, rather than the rainforest freshness that had overwhelmed him a second before.
He opened his eyes and looked at Naruto, who shot him that smirk.
“Better?”
Sasuke just held the eye contact. He didn’t know how it felt. It felt good, but it felt intimate. He knew he wasn’t allowed to say that though. It was… Too much. He looked away and just nodded. He felt Naruto lean back on his hand a bit, brushing the side of his—now clothed—bicep. For some reason though, he could still feel Naruto’s eyes on him. It was like a warmth that was more present than the fire that was in front of them.
“You know…” Naruto mumbled, taking a sip of his beer. Sasuke kept his eyes forward though. “It looks better on you.”
Sasuke felt his heart beat thump in his throat. He had no idea what the blonde meant by that statement. And he also knew the blonde had no idea what the statement even meant to someone like Sasuke. He had no idea at all.
“It does?” It was all Sasuke managed to squeeze out of his lips.
“It fits you. If that makes any sense.”
“You mean, literally?” Sasuke looked back at him, biting his bottom lip to control its trembling.
“More than that.” Naruto fell back, looking up at the stars. “You can keep it, if you want.”
Sasuke felt his eyes close as he tried to take a steady breath. His palms were sweating as he thought about the words Naruto was saying. He felt mesmerized by the feelings that were taking over his being. It was just a sweater. So many things were being attached to the polyester threads that linked it together. Naruto’s scent flooded his senses as Sasuke lifted the collar over his nose. He didn’t know what Naruto’s thoughts were… The sweater fit Sasuke, more than literally. What did he mean? Sasuke’s mind raced with ideas and assumptions that could’ve been wildly off, but, for some reason, he needed some peace of mind.
For the last few years, he’d been plagued with his love for Naruto, even if half the time it was in his subconscious, yet he was still unable to speak about it with him. He couldn’t. He’d be forever cursed with an unrequited love.
“You good?” Naruto asked, glancing over at him, to which Sasuke nodded.
Sasuke took a moment. He was unsure what the conversation could lead to… But he didn’t want it to end.
“Are you nervous?” Sasuke asked, letting the collar of the sweater fall back to its intended place around his neck.
“For what?” Naruto responded.
“The rest of your life.” Sasuke said, his voice light, but deep. He was afraid to look back at Naruto. He didn’t want to see the man’s disinterest, if there was any. He kept his eyes ahead, gazing into the burning flames.
“Heavy topic, Sasuke.” Sasuke sighed. He loved hearing Naruto say his name. He could hear the blonde sigh as well, mulling over his response. “I don’t think so.”
“Why not?”
“Because I know what I want. And it might be a difficult road ahead, but… I’m surrounded by people who will support me along the way. Technically, I can do anything.” Naruto chuckled to himself.
“You’re leaving the people that support you though.” Sasuke said. It was a true statement, but a painful one to admit.
“Not really.” Naruto argued. “Everyone here, that’s supported me, will still do just that. They just might be farther away…” Naruto trailed off.
“And that doesn’t make you nervous?” Sasuke asked.
“It sounds like you’re the nervous one.” Naruto commented, leaning forward. The blonde brought up his knees, resting his elbows on them. He leaned towards Sasuke, prompting the raven to hold his eye contact. Sasuke felt a heat color his face red as he looked into Naruto’s eyes. They were so close together. Sasuke almost forgot that there were other people around them.
“Maybe…” Sasuke gulped. “Maybe I am.” He said.
“How come?” Naruto tilted his head and Sasuke watched as some of those blonde hairs fell to the side, covering his eye.
“I don’t know.” That wasn’t true. He did, in fact, know why he was nervous. He wasn’t ready to start over with new people in a new place. He knew he wouldn’t find another Naruto; Someone so kind, so bright… He was afraid Naruto would forget about him. All Sasuke would have to remember Naruto by would be his sweater… And over time, that sweater would lose Naruto’s scent. The more Sasuke would wear it, the less it became Naruto’s and the more it became Sasuke’s. The burning love he had in his heart for the blonde would slowly diminish. What if it subjected him to darkness? What if he lost his way somehow? Before Naruto, Sasuke wasn’t the most social. It was that man and his smirk and his welcoming nature that pulled Sasuke in.
“You shouldn’t be.” Naruto wrapped his arm around Sasuke’s shoulder, literally pulling him in. At first, Sasuke was so shocked by the sudden movement that his body pushed him away, but, the longer Naruto kept his arm around Sasuke, the raven could feel himself lean into the pull. He couldn’t help it. He was drawn so deeply to him. It was on another level…
Sasuke's ear touched Naruto’s shoulder, and he could clearly hear his own heart raging within him. He was terrified Naruto would notice. He took a deep breath in, surrounding himself with Naruto’s scent and his warmth. While this felt good in the moment, something nagged in the back of his mind. Something he wasn’t ready to think about, so he wished it away.
“It’s easy for you to say.” Sasuke exhaled, closing his eyes. “You make friends wherever you go.”
Naruto was silent, as if Sasuke struck a chord with him. He couldn’t tell if he imagined Naruto’s grip on him tightening or not. He wished it wasn’t his imagination though.
“You’ll make friends, Sasuke.” Sasuke shivered. “And if you don’t as quickly as you want, you can call me as often as you want until you’re so sick of me, you’re forced to find someone else.”
Sasuke couldn’t help but smile. It was a bittersweet smile. He loved the offer. However, he knew the pain that would be dragged on with it. He knew he’d never get tired of Naruto. Even now, he didn’t get enough of him. He wished they’d stay in this position for the rest of their lives. This was the type of peace Sasuke craved.
Yet, Sasuke knew he shouldn’t torture himself in this way. Naruto was a nice guy. He was comforting Sasuke… It was nothing more than that. And so, he pulled away. He felt the warmth that encompassed him gradually fade away as Naruto’s hand slipped from his shoulder and fell down his backside, landing behind him.
“I’m excited for you. To see what you do.” Naruto smiled.
“You already know my plan. I’m more excited to see where you go.” Sasuke looked at him, studying his features, printing them in his memory. He didn’t want to forget a single second.
“It’s going to be a wild ride.” Naruto sighed as he looked out as his group of friends now approaching them. In the blink of an eye, Sasuke noticed the delicacy of Naruto’s features return to a harsher appearance. His shy smile switched into a neutral expression. Sasuke’s eyes followed his to see Sakura and Shikamaru.
“We’re gonna grab some food—“ Sakura said.
“And more beer.” Shikamaru added.
“You guys cool with holding down the fort?” Sakura asked. “We can pick you up stuff, if you want.”
Sasuke noticed Sakura’s glance at Naruto’s sweater now being worn by the Uchiha. He tried not to let himself over think, but he couldn’t help but feel outed. Her glance quickly went back to Naruto though, who finished off his beer in one final swig.
“I’m good. More beer would be nice though.” He smiled at Shikamaru. “Sasuke and I’ve got this place on lock.”
Naruto looked at Sasuke and grinned. “Right, Sasuke?”
Shiver. “Yeah.” Sasuke said, looking back at Naruto.
The group of them headed up the stairs, over the dune and onto the boardwalk. As they faded out of sight, Sasuke felt a pressure in his chest once again, even tighter than before. Being alone with Naruto wasn’t something new between them. In fact, a majority of their time together was spent alone. They lived near each other and had a lot of senior classes together. It was how Sasuke had found himself falling deeper and deeper in love with Naruto. This was different though. This night, this end of the chapter… His conscience was aware of his feelings for the blonde. It constantly reminded him with overreactions in the physical form. Naruto’s brightness lightened up any of the dark corners in Sasuke’s heart and mind. To anyone, it should be obvious. His emotions lacked control. However, as dense as Naruto was, it was likely the man hadn’t noticed anything.
Yet, now it was just the two of them. Sasuke had this feeling of desperation reach him. All of this talk about the future, Sasuke wasn’t sure he was ready. He wanted to latch on to Naruto for a bit longer. He felt—with no one here—it was his chance to do that. Something was holding him back though. He’d pushed the thoughts into the back of his head, especially because she wasn’t there that night. He didn’t know their relationship. He didn’t know how it differed from their own, but the question was nagging. Especially because… The last time he saw Naruto put his arm around someone… It had been her.
“Naruto?” Sasuke mumbled, looking over his shoulder at the blonde. Again, they were so close, it was hard for Sasuke to focus.
His eyes were wide, attentive. “Hm?”
“This might sound—weird, I guess.”
“What?” Naruto leaned in more, interested. God, it hurt.
“Are you with Hinata, by any chance?” Sasuke tried to keep the eye contact, but it was too hard. In the smoothest way possible, he turned his head, slowly, facing the fire again. He felt Naruto shift beside him, aware of the change in their proximity and the tension in the air. Maybe Sasuke was the only one feeling it, but Naruto was responding in some way. It was off.
Hinata was Neji’s cousin. She’d recently transferred to their school, and was a year younger. She’d been brought around to hang out with all of them on multiple occasions. All of them noticed how attracted she was to Naruto. Neji even confirmed to Sakura and him, when they were alone, that Hinata talked and asked about him regularly. Sasuke didn’t think much about their relationship until a few weeks ago. At prom… Naruto had brought Hinata. They danced together… They snuck out into the back to drink… As they announced Prom King and Queen, Sasuke saw Naruto’s arm around her shoulder, pulling her into him, just like he’d done to Sasuke a moment ago.
It really hurt. Seeing him with her… She was angelic. She had silky smooth skin and a delicate demeanor. One that was more fitted to the sweater he was wearing than Sasuke was. And, when Prom ended, Sasuke saw the inevitable kiss they shared.
Sasuke felt his eyes trembling, scared to hear the response. Once he saw their kiss, he’d shoved his feelings for Naruto so deep down. He promised himself that he’d never even try to go after Naruto. He’d gotten the proof he needed to help him move on as soon as they left for college. He didn’t want to be stuck thinking about the blonde forever. While it hurt to see them together, he could never tell Naruto just how much he’d wished he was Hinata.
“It’s random, I know. I don’t mean to—“ Sasuke tried to explain.
“It’s fine. I was just surprised, but it’s cool.” Naruto said, his voice uncertain.
Sasuke held onto the silence for a moment, before talking again. He’d brought up the topic. He needed to lead it.
“I’ve seen the way you look at her.” Sasuke felt Naruto’s gaze return to him. “She’s got you mesmerized…”
The silence was deafening. Sasuke felt like an open book being ripped apart at the seams. The pain he was feeling had no direction either. He wanted to feel angry, but he couldn’t. Not at Naruto, nor Hinata. She was angelic… Naruto was the sun… It was almost fitting that they found each other. The sun and the moon never exist at the same time. It’s always one or the other. And so, even though Naruto thought the sweater fit him, it actually didn’t.
Suddenly, he felt a gust of wind remind him of how cold his shoulder was. The warmth of Naruto’s hand around him no longer lingered and it was painful.
“I don’t know why I’m saying all of this.” Sasuke mumbled, looking down at his fidgeting hands. “But she’s beautiful.”
Sasuke gulped. “Are you then?” And he waited.
The waves crashed on the sound and it felt like the soundtrack to a breakup. Even though they weren’t even in a relationship, Sasuke felt like his world was changing. He wanted to understand Naruto and what they meant to each other before they went their separate ways. He was certain in his feelings. He also knew that Naruto could never be replaced. But he didn’t know how Naruto felt about it all. Chances were that Naruto had a strong connection with Hinata. Sasuke was probably not even part of the equation. He knew this was the answer. There was no other outcome. Sasuke told himself this daily, and yet he still needed to ask Naruto something so personal that it made him look jealous and desperate. And maybe he was in the grand scheme of things. After acknowledging his emotions towards the blonde, he’d wanted to share them, but he never got the opportunity before Hinata swept him away.
He couldn’t blame her though… It was hard not to fall in love with Naruto. The way he held himself was something to be desired.
Sasuke was afraid to look at Naruto, but knew he needed to be strong in his resolve to start this topic in the first place. And so, he turned his head, locking their eyes. Sasuke could see the trembling in the blonde’s eyes. It matched his own. The reason for it—Sasuke was unsure.
“Do you like her, Sasuke?” Naruto treaded lightly. Sasuke wasn’t sure what kind of answer he was expecting, but it definitely wasn’t that.
“I’m sorry… I didn’t know.” Naruto looked down. His emotional state was something similar to Sasuke’s now.
“It’s not that.” Sasuke said.
“Huh?” Naruto looked up at him again.
“I don’t like her.” Sasuke exhaled. “I know you do though. And that’s okay.”
Naruto watched as Sasuke stood up, his legs getting restless. He felt his heart beat increase as his mind raced with how to not make a fool of himself. He was about to confess something and fear was running rampant throughout him.
“Are you okay?” Naruto asked, about to stand up as well, but Sasuke held up his hand to stop him.
“I’m fine.” Sasuke turned away for a second, closing his eyes. It wasn’t fair. It was so hard for him to find connections with people. The strongest connection he’d ever had with a person was Naruto. And now… Now, he could ruin that. One wrong thing said, and it all goes down the drain.
“I don’t want to make this awkward…” Sasuke said.
God, he was such a fool. The fate of an unrequited love is never kind. Sasuke wanted to jump into the ocean and swim until his arms and legs gave out and he sank to the bottom of the ocean. He was afraid of seeing the sun again, every day, for the rest of his life. It would—from then on—be a reminder of his rejection by the one he loved.
“I…” Sasuke struggled. “I…”
Maybe he was being dramatic. They were in high school. He had mountains of more time to find someone new…
His mind didn’t work like that though. He couldn’t help himself any longer. He pulled the collar over his nose again, inhaling deeply, filling his lungs to the brim with Naruto’s scent.
He turned around to face Naruto, but wasn’t greeted by the warmth of the fire… He opened his eyes to see the blonde standing in front of him. The close proximity sending him into shock. His eyes widened as Naruto grabbed both of Sasuke’s arms and leaned in, planting a kiss on his cold lips. Sasuke felt the world melt before him. The sounds of the setting disappeared, fading into the background. Sasuke parted his lips more to invite Naruto’s mouth deeper into his own.
God, it still hurt. He didn’t know why they were kissing. But this didn’t feel like a coming together… Something in the lingering kiss felt sad… He didn’t know how long their lips had been locked, but they hadn’t even moved. Sasuke’s arms lifted to touch Naruto’s chest as the blonde licked his bottom lip and then pulled away. Sasuke’s chest constricted in pleasure and pain.
The raven fell forward, his forehead hitting Naruto’s shoulder and, soon after, he felt the strong arms of his love wrap around him. The polyester sweater rubbing his skin with it’s soft comfort. Sasuke felt his legs give out and himself sinking down towards the sand. Naruto, unfazed, sank down with him, keeping him tight to his chest. Sasuke’s breathing was shallow. He wasn’t expecting this at all. He was afraid of what Naruto was going to say… He knew that was the answer he didn’t want to hear. Was that kiss an apology?
“Sasuke…” Naruto whispered, his hot breath tickling Sasuke’s ear.
“Why would you ever kiss me…?” Sasuke asked through bated breath. He felt more alone than he had before. This loneliness hadn’t plagued him in years. And now—in Naruto’s tight hug—he was feeling lonely.
And then Naruto pulled away so he could look at Sasuke. The blue eyes were full of despair, as if he’d just torn the heart out of his best friend.
“Why?” Sasuke asked again, unable to hide the sadness in his voice.
“I wanted to…” Naruto said, but Sasuke didn’t believe him. Oh, God, why did it have to hurt like this?
“It’s not me though.” Sasuke muttered under his breath, looking down. Naruto wouldn’t let him though. He used his fingers to lift Sasuke’s chin up again, so they could actually see each other.
“You like her better…” Sasuke shook his head. It was true. It was all true. Their kiss wasn’t anything like how Sasuke had dreamed it being. All he’d wanted was the fireworks, the explosions, the butterflies… He wanted Naruto to not pull them apart.
Naruto let Sasuke go and just stared at him, devoid of all touching. As the tide got closer, Sasuke felt like the waves were drowning him, even though he wasn’t underwater.
“It’s just not the right time…” Naruto finally said.
Sasuke felt his heart fall out of him. He couldn’t move. Why did it feel like his world was ending?
“Because of Hinata?” Sasuke asked and Naruto nodded.
The two stared at each other for what felt like hours. Sasuke had been rejected by the one he loved. He knew it had been coming, but for some reason the ounce of hope he had within him was so powerful that he was still shocked. Naruto had even kissed him. It was a kiss Sasuke had wanted for months, maybe years. A kiss that should’ve been better. Why wasn’t it the right time? And what did the right time mean? How did Hinata capture the blonde’s heart? Sasuke had so many questions, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to ask them. He had no point anymore. He couldn’t claim ownership over Naruto and his smirk. The only thing he had of his, was his sweater. This polyester sweater. It was so warm… It felt like Naruto’s entire being threaded together. He was afraid of taking it off and losing himself in darkness.
Naruto helped Sasuke up and Sasuke packed up his things. He didn’t feel like his happiness could be recovered.
“You’re leaving?” Naruto asked.
“I think I should.” Sasuke responded.
“When will I see you again?” Naruto’s voice hinted at desperate.
Sasuke tried to chuckle, but couldn’t. “Graduation.”
He was only met with a glare from the blonde.
“When the time is right then.” Sasuke said, seriously. He could tell that the words shook Naruto to his core. Neither of the two understood what that meant. Sasuke didn’t even know if Naruto had feelings for him that ran as deep as his own. However, if Naruto came to him and the time was right… He’d do everything in his power to make sure that time would never be wrong. Unfortunately, his peace had been disrupted. He didn’t know how he was going to maintain his happiness any longer. And while he was fearful of leaving Naruto before, it was even more true now because their relationship was… Who even knew… He looked back one more time at the blonde in hopes of getting that smirk that was made just for him, but the blonde just watched him. Sasuke couldn't take it, and so he walked out of the mans view.
As Sasuke got into his car, he felt like crying. It hurt. She had him, and all he had was his sweater…