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Nothing was quite okay that day, more likely, it was a shitty day. Apart from all the chores back and forth, Gahyeon couldn't take her mind off the only thing living in there, Minji.
Almost a decade of friendship connecting them, yet for Gahyeon it was starting to not be enough. She felt like she was in a big, empty cage: Minji nowhere near, mostly far from her, but she was still there, right? No. It still wasn't enough.
And Gahyeon just wanted to punch herself for feeling so greedy.
But she couldn't help it, her feelings for her longtime friend just kept on growing, and we're not talking about just affection here: the young girl just wanted to hold her friend tight, protect her, maybe kiss her, have Minji just for her.
Quite a toxic thought, she knew it, but she couldn't really help it.
She got carried away by her thoughts, only to be shaken up again by the feeling of a familiar warmt; sometimes she worried about how she could recognize to be in Minji's presence just by the tiniest interactions or even just actions of the latter, like how she walked slowly dragging her feet on the floor, how she breathed softly from her nose, the little sighs from her mouth, her smell oh god her smell, so pure and soft, like freshly watered roses.
Her head snapped in her friend's direction instantly.
"Gahyeon, everything's okay?" the softest smile, kindly given by her plump lips. And there Gahyeon could only relax, because that's what Minji did to her.
"Yeah.." nodded slightly the smaller girl, blinking softly at her friend.
Sometimes Minji would call her kitty, because of her behaviour: it is known that cats slowblink at humans when they feel safe around them, and she would catch Gahyeon doing exactly that, not that her small friend couldn't deny it. She really felt the safest around Minji.
Minji got closer to her, and gave her a lazy hug, just to greet her.
"There's a kind of party tonight. Yoohyeon's surprise birthday party i guess?" Minji talked about the major reason why she was there in the first place.
Gahyeon just hummed at her friend, as for letting her know that she was listening to her, when to be honest she zooned back to her thoughts, private thoughts. Looking behind her tall friend, not really looking at anything in particular, just the void.
"I was planning on going but i can't be there on time, I think I'll join the party a little bit later since i have stuf-"
"I don't wanna be your friend anymore." suddenly what Gahyeon feared happened, her thoughts were too damn loud in her head, filled with them, something slipped out. Her eyes raced back to Minji's face, not knowing what else to do. Fear was what she felt, but her face said something else, she held no particular expression, she looked surprised at her own words and honestly, didn't really regret saying them.
"What?" Minji smiled unconsciously, confused, her eyebrows rising a little bit.
Gahyeon parted her lips, looking at her friend, her mind was just a whole mess at this point, which wasn't of any help. Usually she was good with words, but now she felt like she forgot the whole vocabulary and grammar rules. Everything she wanted to say to her friend for the longest time, was about to come out like this, in the most random afternoon, in the most random room, at the most random time.
"You're my dearest friend, but there's a few things that you don't know.." why not? She thought, what's holding me back?
"I'm really confused baby.." Minji's soft tone came out, she usually used pet names when she wanted to encourage people, well, mostly Gahyeon, as she feels a wave of protectiveness to give to the latter.
Nothing Gahyeon couldn't handle, instead, Minji's soft words gave her mind and the amount of her thoughts another push.
"You don't really get it.." she kept her gaze in Minji's eyes.
At this point, Minji was kinda getting frustrated, the loud silence filling the room was really nerve wrecking, furthermore, Minji had a lot of stuff going on her mind too, being so busy just got her so weary.
"What should I really get from that phrase? You basically said you don't wanna be my friend?Anymore? Suddenly?" Minji's hand was now resting on her own forehead, trying really the hardest to understand what the hell was going on. Everytime she couldn't get what Gahyeon wanted to say, she felt so guilty, as if her only objective in her life was that.
"Stealing your stuff now and then, nothing you'd miss but it means the world to me.." Gahyeon breathed that sentence out,not even herself could keep up with whatever she was saying, just bursting out whatever she was thinking, but she still remained unmoved looking at Minji's face radiating confusion.
"What are you-" a phone ringing interrupted both of them, it was Minji's phone, she quickly answered, and after a few words exchanged with whoever was on the other line, she was back to Gahyeon.
"Listen I really have to go, we'll talk about it later, ok?"
"I don't know..." Minji rolled her eyes at Gahyeon's answer.
"Please don't be like this baby, I'm really in a rush today." Minji pleaded the younger girl, gathering her few things.
"It's not important, not really worth it," and now she was regretting everything, still looking at minji without a clear expression.
Minji glanced at her, not quite sure what she was feeling, but the fact that her "friend" considered a topic, that started with her wanting to end their friendship, "not worth it" was really breaking her, she felt disappointed. She trusted Gahyeon with her whole heart, and yet the latter was just being dispersive, not even showing the tiniest emotion or reaction about it.
"Fine." she was tired, and angry. And she made sure to express it, she wanted to make sure that Gahyeon knew that she was, before leaving quickly.
"Fuck me!" sighed Gahyeon hitting her own head and dropping her body on the chair right behind her, hiding her face behind her hands, she really felt like she screwed up everything.
And she did all of this, for what? Why couldn't she just keep everything for herself? Why couldn't she just stick to being her friend? Why couldn't she just shut up at times? Friendships last more than relationships right? Right. But of course not, Gahyeon only desire was to bring Minji closer to her, to breath her same damn air, to feel her warm skin, her tight embrace, share clothes. Of course they already did each of this thing on a regular, but something about being able to call Minji her girlfriend, maybe wake her up in the morning with her favourite coffee, massage her sore muscles after a long day, go out on dates together holding hands, sharing private and intimate thoughts and moments whispering to themselves, feeling in the safest place, was giving her the striking pain at her heart these days, not being able to repress these thoughts.
//
A loud pop woken Minji up from her thoughts. A bottle of champagne had been uncorked for the ongoing event, being Yoohyeon's birthday.
As she anticipated, she arrived a little bit later than the start, almost arriving the same time as Yoohyeon was supposed to, but luckily she had made it just in time, and Gahyeon was nowhere to be seen.
Even though she felt disappointed, she couldn't really ignore the fact that she was a little bit worried: Gahyeon would never miss an event like this, mostly if it included drinking.. she's such a baby. Minji was unconsciously smiling at the thought of her small friend, and as soon as she realized it, she shook her head and started to look again for her, trying not to look too obvious, since it was supposed to be Yoohyeon's day. She evntually got some drinks, glancing at the front door and waiting to see her, since everyone would come in from there.
And after what felt an eternity to her, Gahyeon showed up. Minji instantly followed her with her gaze, she wasn't wearing anything special- wait, was that one of her own dresses?
Gahyeon greeted Yoohyeon, wishing her a happy birthday and giving her a tiny gift; after chatting a bit, she scanned the whole room, eventually locking eyes with the most familiar presence there, the woman she was falling deeply for.
They looked at each other, as in trying to communicate to one another, as they were used to: they were so in sync that communicating without words came easily to them, but apparently, not this time.
Gahyeon couldn't hold it back anymore, she started walking in her friend's (hoping she could call her that after screwing everything up) direction, kinda in a rush. And Minji followed her with her eyes, till she was near enough to lower her gaze and eventually felt a soft grasp at her arm, sign that Gahyeon was dragging her, maybe somewhere more withdrawn, even tho it looked kinda impossible, since people were standing and dancing in every part of the small apartment.
"Gahyeon." called Minji, stopping her in the middle of the hallway, seeing that her friend was struggling to find a quiet place. Gahyeon turned slowly in her friend's direction, looking up at her. Here Minji could clearly see the tiredness on her face, behind her make-up: her eyes a little bit swollen, pouty lips, and her nose being red as well; she felt helpless at the sight, she felt a really heavy burden in her chest, but her words came back to her mind feeling that bothering feeling rise up again.
Gahyeon knew Minji was waiting for her to give an explanation, and after the whole time before the party spent about thinking (even too much) at the whole thing, she just decided to go with it.
"I wanna ruin our friendship." raised he eyebrows Gahyeon, starting again.
Minji could feel her headache coming back again. "Fine, what do you want me to say? Why are you being like this? What did I do to you?"
"Have you ever wondered why I borrow your lipstick so often?" Gahyeon decided to ignore Minji's words, going on with her owns.
Minji squinted her eyes a little bit at her, more than just confused. She sighed and closed her eyes. "You're really testing my patience lately, Gah.." she didn't really mean to say it, but it was true. Apart from these two days, Gahyeon had been weird lately, treating Minji like she never did, ignoring her or sometimes purely avoiding her, and there's only one thing that gets to Minji's patience: not having explanations.
"I'm wearing your dress right now, I literally have your shirt as a pillowcase." insisted Gahyeon, she wasn't really sure of what she was doing. She wanted Minji to understand, too shy to say it directly, she was too used to them being in sync that having to explain everything to her was kind of annoying.
Minji shook her head, looking back at her friend again. "I don't get your point, but still you're giving me no explanations about why you've been treating me like shit these days."
Gahyeon sighed hard this time. "Have you ever wondered why I never liked your boyfriends?" again, she just wanted to punch herself. Why couldn't she speak clearly, Why couldn't she just get to the point?
"Oh good now you're going to tell me that you don't like my family? My friends? Or even me? I wouldn't be surprised honestly."
"I don't know how to say this.." Gahyeon looked down, fidgetting with her own rings.
"I think you've said enough." and when Minji was about to leave, feeling her chest even heavier, she got pulled in by Gahyeon. The latter standing on her tiptoes, to reach Minji's face and resting her forehead on her friend's. Minji was surprised by her actions, Gahyeon was hugging her, pulling her closer by her neck, and Minji quickly put her hands on her hips, as she was about to fall by the sudden action.
They both were breathing the same air, Gahyeon's breathe was a little bit unsteady, inhaling and exhaling from her mouth, slowly, gazing at Minji's eyes, trying once again to communicate with her. But the tall girl couldn't really focus, maybe for the alcohol running in her body, she was feeling hot all of a sudden, she looked at Gahyeon with her half lidded eyes, the tension falling hard on both of their backs.
"We should be lovers instead.." whispered Gahyeon, glancing shamelessly at Minji's lips, and back at her eyes. Both of their hearts were pounding hard in their chests. Minji stroked Gahyeon's hip with her thumbs, after sliding her hands on her back, to bring her even closer; and that gave shivers to Gahyeon.
Minji slowly nodded her head,closing her eyes, their foreheads still connected. Inhaling her friend's soft scent, lips and noses brushing: they both leant in at the same time, kissing each other's lips in the softest way, and Gahyeon couldn't control the sigh of relief that escaped from her nose, finally relaxing again and pulling back slowly. Minji quickly chased for another kiss, pushing Gahyeon a little bit so she was not standing on her tiptoes anymore, instead having her "friend" lower herself a little bit. Their second kiss was soft as well, but eventually became as heated as the air surrounding them, slowly but surely. Lips chasing each other's, tongues caressing one another, teeth. Oh Minji was pleasantly surprised when Gahyeon bit her lower plump lip, pulling away yet again, to gather her breath.
"Wait Minji," she said, slowly breathing, her cheeks red and her eyes a little bit glossy.
Minji was sure of what she was doing, the alcohol effect disappeared a bit of time ago, and what she wanted now was to feel Gahyeon, that was now caressing her neck and shoulders. Pleased by the sight of her ,again, "friend" like that, she couldn't help but leave soft kisses on her cheek, to let her breathe, slowly going down to her jawline, and reaching the soft skin on her neck, leaving innocent pecks.
Gahyeon couldn't help but chuckle a little bit, feeling tickled, and took Minji in a strong embrace, even because she was feeling embarassed too.And Minji hugged her as much, hiding her face in the crook of her shorter friend's neck.
They were back, in each other's arms, the safest place for both of them. Eventually Minji realized her feelings for Gahyeon, and Gahyeon only confirmed to herself that she was deeply in love with her longtime friend.