Chapter Text
ONE: When Bitches Need (each other)
Susan Berg stops in the doorway, straining to contain her tears, which once again, on this sad day, threaten to escape her control. She observes Elaine Barrish talking gravely with her assistant, there is no need to speculate on the topic, even if she’s unable to hear the words, there’s no doubt as to what the object of their whispering is.
She has the impression that the strong woman, whom she has come to know better, to respect, to admire, to support in the last few months, has suddenly become hunched over, and in spite of her height, clearly above average, she seems so fragile that she feels a dull ache expand in the pit of her stomach.
She is reminded, seemingly for no reason, of the words of her boss, and former partner, "Is this what hanging out with Elaine Barrish does to you?", and also, "Name one time that you’ve spent as much energy on something for us as you have on this Barrish piece... blablabla..." , she chases the unwanted intruder from her mind, calling the woman by her official appellation.
The Secretary of State’s assistant turns around, widening her eyes towards the reporter, her deliberately calm expression unable to hide a sultry threat, - take one more step and I'll kick your ass out! -
Barrish seems only surprised, however, and soon after Susan notices the wrinkles on her face become less noticeable, and at the same time, she feels some of the weight she has been carrying on her shoulders since that morning slip away. As if seeing each other, in this difficult time, not only for them, but for the whole Nation, has a calming effect on both of them.
"It's all right", the politician whispers, dismissing the assistant, who hurries off earning her way out of the large room.
"I didn't think today would end like this", the younger one confesses, her voice broken with emotion, and in a flash she feels tears fill her eyes.
"It's been a shocking day for everyone," Elaine confirms in a tired and sad voice.
The other takes a quick glance over her shoulder to make sure she's not within reach of prying ears and moves a step towards the woman in front of her.
"I killed the story", she informs.
"Thank you.", her interlocutor replies caught off guard.
"How?" she then asks, serious.
"A lot of stories will be put on hold for a while", Berg replies, keeping her gaze glued on the other’s.
"And my boss helped", she adds still in disbelief.
"Your ex?", Elaine asks with participation.
"Yeah, the asshole who cheated on me turned out not to be such a total asshole", the reporter tries to joke.
"No one is as horrible as we imagine them to be", Barrish says with transport, thinking of how she has always appraised the woman before her, and hopes with all her heart that the she will catch the sincere and peaceful hint.
"Two weeks ago I wanted to crush Garcetti, this morning I wanted to run with him... and tonight…", unable to continue, she feels her face twitch and lets out a heavy sigh.
Susan can't help but shorten one more step the distance separating her from the stoic woman.
"I'm sorry, I haven't had time to process any of this", she stops, surprised by the touch of the young woman, who, almost invading her personal space, has gently placed a warm hand on hers and without stopping to look into her eyes, moves her thumb over her skin in a gesture that to Elaine seems incredibly consoling.
Reciprocating the intense gaze for a long moment, she finds herself thinking that, despite the formal handshakes, moreover rare, this is the first time they find themselves so close, and although her body suggests to surrender, in a moment she recovers from that spell, without knowing or wanting to give it a precise location.
She lowers her gaze, withdrawing from the gentle touch, "I’m, uh, going home, to be with my family. Uh, Douglas has chosen this occasion to elope", she changes the subject, to chase away the warm feeling in her hand, still alive and far too comforting, for the gravity of the situation.
Susan is furious with herself for the reaction that that latest news is causing her.
"Douglas and Anne eloped?", -what is it that bothers her so much?- She knows well that what happened on the flight home from the east coast was a terrible mistake.
"Yeah. You must have developed quite a bond with him", the Secretary states, caught off guard by Susan's reaction.
"Yes A professional one", the young woman hastens to point out, hoping the woman won't be suspicious.
The discomfort increases, but once again she is unable to locate the precise reason.
"Please extend my congratulations to both of them", she finally says, regaining control of her emotions, faking a smile.
"I will", the older woman nods, observing her for a long moment, after which, lowering her gaze, she overtake her, heading towards the large door.
Suddenly she stops, turns towards the young woman, stiffening up.
"Tomorrow night I'm gonna fly to France, to assist, however I can", she tells the journalist who turns around in surprise, not sure how to continue and embarrassment seizes her for a moment.
"Uhm... if you're not sick of the plane", she says, sketching a half smile, "You’re welcome to join me", she offers in sincerely after another long pause, trying to mask what to her ears seemed to be a pathetic embarrassed plea, with her attitude of a political animal.
Susan feels an incredible sense of calm pride, at the thought that the woman in front of her wants her by her side for that difficult journey.
She would not allow anyone to put a barrier between her and that request. The reason escapes her, but after everything that has happened between them in the past months, the vile blackmail with which it all began, her judgments spat badly in the newspaper over the previous years, the more than fair lack of trust from the politician, they finally sort of found each other, threw it all out and put it in order, which, paradoxically, required a certain amount of trust.
To analyze the facts all at once, it really seems impossible, where they came from, the older one thinks, unaware that the same thoughts are also lingering in the mind of the young woman in front of her.
Maybe that's why they need each other to face the immediate future, and for the first time, it's not a need tied to something concrete, like a bombshell article, or one strategically written to cover a more compromising news. None of these, it's just a sincere and mutual moral support, the one that binds them in the present.
In this very moment, Susan becomes aware of what has upset her so much before; she doesn't mind Douglas marrying Anne, she only regrets that he, like his mother before him, will find himself in a relationship that doesn't make him fully happy.
And she doesn't care if word gets out that the guy cheated on his bride with her, she only cares about not disappointing once again the woman who is now asking her, - ... her, Susan Berg, journalist until yesterday without scruples, who for years has ridiculed her, blaming her for being her husband's follower and living in his shadow- , not to leave her alone, because she knows she won't have any other chance, and it has nothing to do with the article she has been working on for months about her, it has to do with the charm she has discovered in her, after having underestimated her for years. She just doesn't want to lose her. Period.
She also knows that she will have to be honest to the end, sooner rather than later, but this news will have to come out of her mouth, only then will she not lose her, she’s sure about this, because she now knows how much the woman in front of her appreciates honesty. Right now, however, is not really the time.
"I'm there", she answers, spreading a sincere smile.
"Good", Barrish remarks, exhaling a sigh that seems to make her relax instantly. She hesitates for a long moment longer, smiling and maintaining eye contact.
"I'll put you on the manifest", she declares keeping smiling. Then she takes her final leave, once again, with a hint of embarrassment and she walks away forcing herself not to look back.