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“So how long do you plan on staying in Seongjosimni, Mr. Rang?”
The preacher drones on in the background and it hard hardly holds Taehyung’s attention who finds it far too tedious for his taste, as perhaps does the congregation with the people at the back dozing off, the children playing with spinning tops and the people unfortunate enough to be in the middle and the front left to hide their yawning behind their handkerchiefs and fans, or bow down their head and get to it.
“As long as Min chooses, I’m at his disposal.”
The tips of Taehyung’s mouth turn up. “Everyone appears to be at his disposal, it would seem,” says he, leaning towards Mr. Rang, speaking quietly to not attract attention towards themselves. “I wonder why he doesn’t marry and secure a lasting convenience of that sort.”
“I wonder why so too. They’d be a lucky person,” whispers Mr. Rang, smiling back ever so slightly at the matter of matrimony.
“Really...?” asks Taehyung, looking past Mr. Rang to where Mr. Min is seated on the adjoining aisle, face stoic as ever as he too suffers listening to the clergyman’s voice, one of the unfortunate souls seated at the very front. What sort of person would be lucky marrying him? wonders Taehyung.
“Oh yes, certainly. I would not deem Min anything less than a most loyal companion,” reassures Mr. Rang in a whisper. “From what I heard on our journey here, he recently came to the rescue of a dear friend just in time.”
“What happened?”
“He saved the man from an imprudent marriage.”
“Who was the man?”
“His closest friend, Jung Hoseok.”
Taehyung feels something turn in his stomach at such an unaware confession from a man as refined as Mr. Rang whom he knows to possess no art of being coy nor any designs to hurt the sentiments of others intentionally or otherwise, especially someone with whom he is an acquaintance for only a fortnight. Perhaps this is why the news seems so much more unpleasant hearing it from Mr. Rang who Taehyung is sure of remains uninformed that his words concern and directly affect him.
“Did...” he composes himself, taking in a deep breath before he continues. “Did Mr. Min give a reason for this interference?”
“There were apparently strong objections concerned with the gentleman,” answers Mr. Rang.
“What kind of objections? His lack of fortune?”
Mr. Rang’s voice is gentle, oblivious to the sort of agony he is inflicting upon his new acquaintance. “No. I think it was the gentleman’s family that was considered to be unsuitable.”
Taehyung continues staring at Mr. Min, eyes hardening. “So he separated them,” he states, wondering when did his tone take such a matter-of-fact turn.
“I believe so. I know nothing else.”
Taehyung makes no answer and tears his gaze away from Mr. Min, lavishing his attention upon the sermon that has mercifully just begun that saves him from being too emotional at the news he had just received. He fears he might tear up in frustration, or even worse, yell out in agitation at poor Mr. Rang instead, who is undeserving of such a treatment. And thus, with a great deal of courage, Taehyung bows his head low, listening to the priest and prays for strength, swiftly changing the subject when Mr. Rang begins speaking once more.
When the ceremony is over, Taehyung stands up hastily, doling out poor apologies to Mr. Rang and excuses himself from his company and walks quickly around the throng of people gathering around to socialise before dispersing for the day. To add to his misery, he finds out that it is raining, the open fields outside of the church experiencing heavy downpour under the grey skies which seem as if they won’t stop anytime soon. For a moment, Taehyung contemplates standing aside until the rain subsides a little before beginning his walk back home, then decides against it upon the realisation that Mr. Min is still inside the establishment and that he might run into the man and that is a meeting Taehyung would like to avoid if he can. And so, he brings out his handkerchief and wraps it around his hair for whatever meagre protection he can get and runs out of the shelter of the church’s roof, ignorant that a certain gentleman is searching for him inside the building.
The rain, Taehyung concludes, is a blessing in disguise as it blends with his tears and washes them away. However, only moments later, does he derail from this train of thought and fears catching a cold as he sprints down the fields and then over the bridge, soaked to his bones due to the onslaught of the rain and the chill of the wind. He shields his eyes, searching for a sanctuary somewhere to rest and wait until the torrent diminishes a little, mind at ease with a task at hand rather than being forced to relive the conversation from some time ago.
He finds a tall, huge structure at one corner of the hill, overlooking the lake at the bottom and seeks shelter underneath it, removing the handkerchief over his head and the scarf around his neck and wrings them to get the excess water out of it. He leans against a pillar, catching his breath and pushes the hair out of his eyes and his forehead, looking up just in time to see another figure arrive beneath the structure.
Taehyung gasps, startled at the sight of the man he last wishes to see right now.
“Mr. Taehyung.”
Taehyung chooses to ignore his observation that Mr. Min is just as soaked as he is, the hem of Mr. Min’s trousers sopping with mud and grass. Mr. Min must’ve followed him on foot all this while, not in his carriage; perhaps called his name out loud too.
Mr. Min seems to collect himself visibly and fails, for his shoulders still shake as if the mere sight of Taehyung is causing his great discomfort. That would be more likely, thinks Taehyung, for he certainly shares the sentiment.
“I have struggled in vain and I can bear it no longer,” starts Mr. Min, speaking as if he is greatly moved. “These past months have been a torment. I came to Seongjosimni with the single object of seeing you. I had to see you. I have fought against my better judgement, my family’s expectations, the inferiority of your birth, my rank and circumstance, all these things and I’m willing to put them aside and ask you to end my agony.”
“I don’t understand-”
“I love you,” confesses Mr. Min, holding his gaze. “Most ardently.”
Taehyung finds himself speechless for once.
Mr. Min watches him from afar, seeming as if the distance between them is causing him great pain but maintains it nevertheless and as Taehyung continues staring at him, Mr. Min appears to be as vulnerable as he could be. “Please do me the honour of accepting my hand,” he requests earnestly.
Taehyung beholds the gentleman for a moment and two more, still at a loss for words and then looks away from the heavy, passionate eyes that await an answer.
“Sir, I appreciate the struggle you have been through and I am very sorry to have caused you pain.” Taehyung turns his stare towards Mr. Min once again. “Believe me, it was unconsciously done,” he adds sincerely.
“Is this your reply?”
“Yes, sir.”
Mr. Min takes half a step forward, then puts his foot back, thinking the better of it, his countenance unsure as he asks. “Are you...are you laughing at me?”
“No, sir.”
“Are you rejecting me?”
“I am sure that the feelings which, as you’ve told me, have hindered your regard will help you in overcoming it,” replies Taehyung coolly.
Mr. Min is silent for a moment and then nods at the words. “Might I ask why, with so little endeavour at civility, I am thus rejected?”
Taehyung takes two steps forward towards him, letting go of his calm composition and feeling himself turn red with anger. “And I might as well enquire why, with so evident a design of insulting me, you chose to tell me that you liked me against your better judgement?”
Mr. Min takes a step forward, too, raising his hand. “No, believe me, I didn’t-”
“If I was uncivil, then that is some excuse! But I have other reasons. You know I have!” exclaims Taehyung.
“What reasons?”
“Do you think that anything might tempt me to accept the man who has ruined, perhaps forever, the happiness of a most beloved brother?” questions Taehyung, watching Mr. Min helplessly, feeling the earlier frustration and sadness overtake him at the fate of Namjoon. Understanding dawns on Mr. Min’s face and he hangs his head a little, turning silent. Mr. Min looks pained. It might as well be that Taehyung had struck him across the face. “Do you deny it, Mr. Min?” continues Taehyung. “That you separated a young couple who loved each other, exposing your friend to the centre of the world for caprice and my brother to its derision for disappointed hopes and involving them both in the misery of the acutest kind?”
“I do not deny it,” says Mr. Min quietly, matter-of-factly.
“How could you do it?” demands Taehyung, staring at him disbelievingly, repulsed at the sight of him.
“Because I believed your brother indifferent to him!” explains Mr. Min.
“Indifferent?” Taehyung regards the man with incredulity, having a sudden inclination to let out a helpless laugh at the words he just had to listen to. Indifferent? Namjoon hyung? Taehyung had perhaps never seen Namjoon wear his emotions, his heart on his sleeve as he did so during the brief time Namjoon had spent with Mr. Jung and never had two individuals in the world looked at each other with so much love in their eyes at the other the way Namjoon and Mr. Jung did.
“I watched them more carefully and I realised my friend's attachment was deeper than your brother's.”
“That's because Namjoon hyung is shy!” Taehyung proclaims, voice rising a little.
Mr. Min’s voice rises too, mirroring the agitation Taehyung feels at the entire conversation. “Hoseok, too, is modest and was persuaded your brother didn't feel strongly for him.”
“Because you suggested it,” snaps Taehyung.
“I did it for his own good.”
“My brother hardly shows his true feelings to me!” utters Taehyung, and then falls silent before his rage can take the better of him. Mr. Min doesn’t break the silence either, small mercies. He looks to the side at the lake below, finding that the rain still beats relentlessly, having increased its tandem than before. His voice is surprisingly calm and collected when he speaks again, even as his heart sinks at the other reasons for the separation of his brother and his lover. “I suppose you suspect that his fortune had some bearing-”
“No! I wouldn't do your brother the dishonour!” exclaims Mr. Min, shaking his head as if praying Taehyung should not misunderstand him even more. Then, quietly, “Though it was suggested-”
“What was?” cuts in Taehyung sharply.
Mr. Min pauses for a beat, surveying him. “It was made perfectly clear that...an advantageous marriage...”
“Did my brother give that impression?!”
“No! No! No.” Mr. Min shakes his head. When he speaks again, his voice is different, bearing the slightest traces of discomfort. “There was, however, I have to admit, the matter of your family.
“Our want of connection? Mr. Jung didn't seem to vex himself about that,” retorts Taehyung, trembling at the reason given.
Mr. Min’s expression changes even more, seemingly at unease than ever. He looks away, swallowing, as if bracing himself. “No, it was more than that.”
“How, sir?”
When he speaks, Taehyung is startled at how soft and genteel Mr. Min’s tone is, unlike before. “It pains me to say this but it was the lack of propriety shown by your father, your mother and even on occasion, your aunt.”
The thunder that cracks through the sky is louder than anything and yet, Taehyung finds himself grateful for it, for it renders his mind blissfully silent, without any thoughts to concentrate upon. Then, Taehyung looks away, colouring at the words in humiliation for he knows he cannot hold Mr. Min responsible for this even if he wants to. He is far too aware of his father and aunt’s drunken antics and his mother’s relentless matchmaking attempts.
To think that those same attempts would be the reason to break the relationship of her most deserving son.
“Forgive me.” Taehyung chances a look at Mr. Min at the apology and upon meeting his eyes, Mr. Min takes two hesitant steps forward, his mien remorseful at the reason, at the reality and sincere in his apology. “You and your brothers I must exclude from this,” finishes Mr. Min, lowering his eyes for moments.
Taehyung stares at him quietly until he looks up, and then searches the gentleman’s face for any trace of mockery and insincerity that he knows, deep in his heart, he shall not find. Mr. Min doesn’t speak further, staying put and simply watches him, waiting for him to break the ice first, maybe accept the apology or let him take his leave.
The conversation, Taehyung thinks, is far from over though. There is another matter that he needs a few answers to.
“And what about Mr. Lee?” he questions coolly, remembering how anguished the affable and charming Mr. Lee had seemed when he had recounted his tale.
The effect his words have upon Mr. Min is instantaneous. He watches as Mr. Min’s expression changes from that of contriteness to a barely suppressed fury, eyes suddenly sharper as he glares.
“Mr. Lee?” repeats Mr. Min icily though his volume doesn’t rise.
“What excuse can you give for your behaviour towards him?” Taehyung presses, holding his ground as Mr. Min crosses the distance between them in short, quick steps until he’s standing directly in front of him, glowering up at him.
“You take an eager interest in that gentleman's concerns,” Mr. Min notes.
Taehyung stares him down, not to be deterred, hoping his voice is as frigid as Mr. Min’s to rival with. “He told me of his misfortunes.”
“Oh, yes, his misfortunes have been very great indeed,” agrees Mr. Min, eyes ablaze as he stares back.
If perhaps, the circumstances were something else, Taehyung would take a moment to admire how up close from here, the shade of Mr. Min’s eyes are so rich and warm in its colour have flecks of amber in it but holds none of the warmth it should bear. Taehyung feels nothing but contempt for this man whom others claim to be a gentleman and who he once thought to be handsome. “You ruin his chances and yet you treat him with sarcasm?”
“So this is your opinion of me,” states Mr. Min, tone biting. “Thank you for explaining so fully. Perhaps these offences might have been overlooked had not your pride been hurt-”
“My pride?”
“-by my honesty in admitting scruples about our relationship.” Mr. Min’s voice is loud, drowning out any sound of rain Taehyung could hear up until now. “Could you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of your circumstances?”
“And those are the words of a gentleman!” Taehyung leans down, holding Mr. Min’s gaze, face contorting with fury. “From the first moment I met you, your arrogance and conceit, your selfish disdain for the feelings of others made me realise that you were the last man in the world I could ever be prevailed upon to marry!”
Thunder crackles in the background and yet doesn’t hold a candle to how deafening the silence between two of them is, broken only by the sound of their breathing.
Taehyung, at once, realises just how close they’re standing, far too close than acceptable distance, far too close than he has ever stood with anyone, their toes nearly touching. He realises that in a passionate fit, he leant down far too much than he should have. The fringes of his wet hair brush against Mr. Min’s forehead who appears to be suddenly subdued, as if he too has just become aware of the distance between them, or its lack thereof. Taehyung doesn’t step back, feeling his anger ebb away and something else replaces it instead as he watches Mr. Min, who, up this close, Taehyung cannot help but think again of how beautiful he is, so unlike the other aristocrats with his soft, round, pale face and pretty brown eyes. Mr. Min doesn’t step back either, seeming as affected as Taehyung feels, if not more and rather leans forward, until their foreheads graze.
A droplet falls from his damp strand upon Mr. Min’s lips and Taehyung stares at where it rests so innocently against a rosy, bottom lip and Taehyung has never felt like this ever before. There is a sudden urge to-
He wants to-
Mr. Min licks his lips and Taehyung watches the drop disappear beneath a pinker tongue.
Then, Mr. Min steps even closer and this time, their foreheads definitely graze before Mr. Min stands on his toes and puts his lips next to his ears.
Taehyung stands completely still.
“Forgive me, sir, for taking up so much of your time,” murmurs Mr. Min and with that, he pulls back, bows deeply once and then turns on his heels and walks out in the heavier-than-before rain, not allowing Taehyung one final glance at his visage, leaving him feeling more miserable than earlier.