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Jeongguk was running out of breath, the rhythm of his feet hitting the ground were in perfect sync with the beating of his heart. He had been running for as long as he could remember, having no idea when he started and no idea of when he was going to stop. He didn’t know what he was running from, or where he was running too. All he knew was that his feet were moving off their own accord, and he had no power over it.
He turned a corner, and was faced with a lake, so deep and so blue it didn’t look as if it belonged in Seoul. Jeongguk stopped, floored by the sight in front of him. His chest was heaving, his breath short and quick. He doubled over at the side of the lake, his reflection staring up at him from the water beneath. He stared deep into his reflection’s eyes, seeing nothing within them.
No emotion, no feeling, nothing at all.
A gentle hand was placed on his shoulder, the touch feather-light and almost non-existent. If it hadn’t been for the image in his reflection, he would’ve thought the touch was deceiving him. He stood up slowly, turning to the person behind the hand, who was staring at him with kind eyes and the heartiest of smiles.
It was the dimpled boy.
Jeongguk breathed a sigh of relief. Whenever he was with the dimpled boy, all the anxieties he felt melted away, all the stress around him ceased to exist and he welcomed that feeling with open arms. His heartbeat slowed, his breathing returned to normal, and for the first time he felt at peace. Jeongguk placed his hand on top of the dimpled boy’s, relishing in the way his calloused palm felt against the other’s velvety smooth skin. The touch was euphoric, the connection holding a type of electricity that he had never felt before. It was something he only felt whenever he was with the dimpled boy, and no one else.
The dimpled boy’s head tilted to the side, his eyebrows furrowing as he waited for Jeongguk’s inner turmoil to end. Even when confused, Jeongguk thought the dimple boy looked perfect. There was something so wholesome, so genuine in the way he looked at him. He wished he could have the dimpled boy surrounding him all the time. He made Jeongguk feel safe, secure, beautiful and wanted. All his attention was on Jeongguk, and only Jeongguk. It was as if they were in their own world, no one watching from the sidelines, no one waiting to break the moment. Just the two of them, happy and together.
As Jeongguk opened his mouth to speak, to finally ask him for his name-
Jeongguk woke up.
The spell was broken and Jeongguk was back in his small bedroom in Seoul, curled up on one side of his double bed, shrinking into himself. There was nothing he loved more than his dreams of the dimpled boy, but he couldn’t help but feel an immense loneliness whenever he then awoke from those dreams. Being so close to the person you’re meant to be with, only to be ripped away and forced so far apart, it was difficult to come to terms with.
When Jeongguk turned 18 that’s when the dreams started. He remembers going to sleep on his 18th birthday both terrified and excited for his first souldream. It was something he’d heard a lot about, from friends and family but also from the internet. Jeongguk’s always been a hopeless romantic so when he first heard about soulmates in souldreams he became well and truly obsessed, wanting to know everything about how it all worked.
What he found out was that when you turn 18 you have a souldream where you met your soulmate for the very first time. Everyone’s dreams vary, some are able to talk to their soulmates, others recognise the location straight away and others are lucky enough to have a new dream in a new place every time. Jeongguk was on the unlucky side of things. He always had the same recurring dream, unable to speak to his dimpled soulmate and in an area of Seoul (he thinks it’s Seoul anyway) that he’s never seen before.
He’s heard stories about people being able to decode their dreams so they can meet their soulmates in person, or even talk to each other so they can meet. But no matter how hard Jeongguk tries, he always wakes up before he manages to finish his sentence. He’d love to ask the dimpled boy a million questions, get to know him and ask him out on a date, but for right now, all he’d like to know is his name. To be able to put a name to the face of his soulmate, the most beautiful and handsome face he’s ever seen, it would fill him with so much hope.
Jeongguk’s been dreaming of the dimpled boy for 3 years now, the same dream over and over again, and he’s no step closer to finding him in real life. It’s a bit soul destroying, disheartening and sad, but Jeongguk’s not going to give up. Whenever he has dreams of the dimpled boy he feels a type of peace he’s never felt before, like he’s finally home, right where he should be, which is by his soulmate’s side. He’s not giving up on that feeling, for he is lucky enough to have felt it.
For as many tear jerkingly romantic stories Jeongguk has read about soulmates, he has come across just as many sad and heartbreaking ones. This was one of the reasons why Jeongguk was so terrified to fall asleep on his 18th birthday, because there was a chance he’d have no dream at all. That might be because his soulmate is younger than him and hadn’t reached their 18th birthday yet, but it might also be because they don’t exist at all.
The first time Jeongguk had fallen into that souldreamspace, his heart thudded so loudly in his chest he thought he might just wake himself up. It was the anticipation of meeting his other half, but also the sheer and utter relief and joy that he had an other half waiting for him. He remembers seeing the dimpled boy for the first time and his breath being sucked straight out his lungs, for he had never seen such a beautiful human being. A smile in the shape of a heart with a cute mole resting atop his upper lip, dimples so deep and symmetrical they almost didn’t look real, but Jeongguk’s favourite feature of the dimpled boy’s, were his eyes. The dimpled boy had the most beautiful eyes Jeongguk had ever seen, a light brown colour that Jeongguk found himself lost within. The shade so beautiful that with the sun shining in their reflection it was like shards of gold were dancing within his irises, making them come alive. Jeongguk couldn’t tear his gaze away from them, he was absolutely mesmerised by the eyes of the man standing in front of him, his man, his soulmate. He had never felt luckier in his entire life.
Jeongguk woke up after that first souldream with such a start, he grabbed the notebook he had left next to his bedside table and wrote down every description he could remember about the dimpled boy. He waxed poetry about every facial detail and body curve he could remember. The one thing he noted first, was how he thought the dimpled boy looked older than him, and by quite a few years too. His heart suddenly dropped to his feet wondering how many dreamless sleeps the dimpled boy would have had waiting for Jeongguk to finally turn 18. He could only imagine how sad and disappointed the dimpled boy must have been on his 18th birthday, seeing nothing but his closed eyelids staring back at him in the darkness, an abyss that was never ending.
But Jeongguk was finally 18, which meant the dimpled boy would have had his first dream of Jeongguk as well that night. A blush creeped across Jeongguk’s cheeks, his thoughts a whirlwind of questions about what the dimpled boy would have thought of him. Did he think Jeongguk was pretty? Was he his type? Jeongguk could only hope the dimpled boy was as mesmerised by him and he was with the other.
His heart was full of warmth and contentment back then, a complete opposite to how he feels right now.
3 years of seeing his soulmate in his dreams but getting no closer to seeing him in person takes a toll on you that Jeongguk wasn’t expecting. He was so caught up on the dream itself, the notion of having a soulmate, he never stopped to think or prepare himself for the inevitable wait he’d face until they finally met. He had tried the decoding thing, tried to see if there were any hidden meanings and messages in his dream, but there was nothing he recognised or understood apart from the beauty of his soulmate.
The loneliness he faced after spending time with the dimpled boy in his dreams made living through the day so much harder. He tried to keep the dimpled boy at the front of his mind, hoping each and everyday that today would be the day they’d finally meet. Sometimes he wanted to erase every thought of him from his brain. So many people say that you never find what you’re looking for when you’re desperately looking for it, that those things come to people who sit back and wait patiently. But Jeongguk wasn’t a patient person, he was someone who worked on an immediate basis, making rash decisions and lived to be spontaneous. If it was up to him, Jeongguk would scour the city for any trace of the dimpled boy, say goodbye to all of his responsibilities and devote all his time and effort into finding his soulmate. But Jeongguk’s life isn’t a k-drama and he has College to finish and rent to pay, the dimpled boy would have to wait, but after 3 years, there was only so much waiting Jeongguk could do.
So he forced himself out of bed and into the real world where his real life responsibilities and daily duties were waiting for him. He managed to get through his morning classes, drifting in and out of focus only when his professor looked in his direction to make sure he was listening. Jeongguk isn’t usually the type of guy to wallow in self pity, but today he just feels drained of all positivity. As he looks around the lecture hall, seeing a few couples sitting next to each other, soaking up each other’s presence like it’s a warm cup of coffee, Jeongguk can’t help but feel a pang of jealousy right in the middle of his chest. He wonders how long they’ve been together, what their souldreams were like, how they met for the first time, what they felt when they met each other. All of these questions circuit around his brain, torturing him with what he could have experienced himself if time would only hurry up and bring him and his soulmate together.
He needs to get out of this headspace, distract himself a bit. Jeongguk knows it’s unhealthy to stay trapped inside his own mind, especially when he’s going through a slump like this. Negativity only breeds more negativity and Jeongguk refuses to be the cause for other people’s drop in moods. That’s not the type of person he is, and certainly not the type of friend he is either.
A freestyle session with Jimin is exactly what the doctor ordered and Jeongguk finds himself skipping every other stair on his way up to the studio. There’s something about dance that is so liberating to Jeongguk, so freeing and uplifting. Himself and Jimin have recently started choreographing a paired routine for their College’s end of semester showcase and it might just be their hardest dance yet. Having Jimin study contemporary dance and Jeongguk always up for a new challenge, they picked an orchestral soundtrack and decided to stick a middle finger up to gender norms in dance and do a ballet influenced contemporary paired piece. They showed it to their professor and he was nervous about how technical it was, but astounded by how prettily they performed it and how solid all their movements were for two dancers with no ballet training.
“You did so well today,” Jimin pats Jeongguk on the back once the session is over, handing him a bottle of water that Jeongguk takes out of his hand gratefully.
“Thanks,” Jeongguk breathes in between gulps of water. “The lifts are so much easier. Have you and Joon been practising?”
That gets a snort out of Jimin and honestly Jeongguk can understand why. Namjoon, Jimin’s boyfriend, is an absolute God and practically worships the ground Jimin walks on, he’d do absolutely anything for Jimin so Jeongguk doesn’t doubt him offering to help. Namjoon’s a pretty big guy too, could toss Jimin around a room no problem, but he’s not the most delicate of people.
“A bit, yeah,” Jimin smiles, as a blush seeps into his skin. This happens whenever Jimin talks about Namjoon, he smiles so wide his eyes become little crescents, barely able to see over his cheeks from how high they’ve lifted on his face. Even when Jimin is simply telling a story or anecdote about his boyfriend, his face lights up like even just thinking about Namjoon has the ocean moving in crisp waves.
It was only last year when Jimin found Namjoon, his soulmate. It’s a sweet story, one they both love to tell when anyone asks about how they met. They quite literally just ran into each other in the middle of the street, Jimin with an arm full of books late for his class and Namjoon with about 4 coffees for him and his friends on his way back to the library. They slammed into each other as Namjoon walked out of the coffee shop and scrambled to pick everything up with mumbles of apologies, until they locked eyes and saw the face of the person they’d been dreaming about for the last few years.
Jeongguk was so happy for Jimin when he called to say he had finally found Namjoon, he could hear how emotional Jimin was through the phone. Jeongguk promised to cover for him in class and told him to embrace all the time with Namjoon that he could, so they stayed at that coffee shop for hours, right until it closed in the early evening. It’s a sweet story, one Jeongguk likes to hear often because it fuels him with hope that when he meets the dimpled boy in his dreams, their first meeting will be very similar.
“Are you doing alright?” Jimin asks after a beat.
“Yeah, course. Why d’you ask?”
“I don’t know, you just seem a bit out of it. I’m not sure you listened to anything I said in the past 5 minutes,” Jimin laughs, but Jeongguk can hear the concern behind the giggle.
That’s what Jimin is good at, being worried but in a lighthearted way. He never makes you feel like your feelings are a burden, or you have to talk about them if you don’t want too. The decision to open up and discuss how you feel is always down to you, and Jimin will sit patiently and wait until you make that choice.
“Just a bit down, I guess,” Jeongguk sighs. “About the whole soulmate thing,”
Jimin lays a hand on Jeongguk’s knee, nodding for him to continue. It’s a simple gesture but one that gives Jeongguk enough comfort and security to start talking.
“It’s just been a long time, you know? Three years is a long time and I don’t think I’d mind if the dreams were different or if I could talk during them. But sometimes I don’t even want to go to sleep because I know I’ll just have the same dream every time and I just feel like I’m not getting anywhere. I can't ask him anything, I have no fucking clue where this lake is we always seem to be at and it’s just, tiring. I love spending time with him in our dreamspace, but I miss him so much when I wake up, and he doesn’t even know,”
“I don’t know if this will comfort you or not, but I guarantee he feels the exact same about you. It took Joon and I 4 years to meet each other, 5 for him. It was tough, but it was worth the wait,”
Jeongguk nods along because he doesn’t really know what else to say. For the longest time Jeongguk found comfort in reading other people’s stories and experiences, but as of late it just leaves him feeling empty. With every story he hears or reads, he imagines himself and the dimpled boy and it breaks his heart a little bit knowing that it’s all inside his head, just a fictional daydream.
“Unless you want to try dating outside of the soulbond? I know there’s lots of people who have,” Jimin muses and Jeongguk can’t help but visibly recoil at the thought.
It’s not like he’s never considered it. There’s been a time in Jeongguk’s life when he thought it couldn’t hurt but to dip his toe into the dating world and see what was waiting out there. Would it be fair to his soulmate to force them to be with someone who had zero dating experience? He would learn a lot about himself romantically and sexually by dating other people whilst waiting to meet his soulmate.
But all he had to do was try once to figure out he really didn’t want to date anyone other than his soulmate.
There was just something about it that felt unethical. He couldn’t justify spending the day with someone and falling asleep next to them, only to dream about someone else. And not even just another person, but his person, his soulmate, the person he’s destined to be with. How could he willingly date someone he’s not going to stay with forever when he knows that there is someone out there who is also dreaming of him too? It felt like he was cheating on both the person he was dating but also his soulmate. It was too much for his brain to handle, so he stopped and stayed single. It was just easier that way. He may have been lonely often, but at least he didn’t feel guilty.
What if he was out on a date with someone and then met his soulmate? What the fuck would happen then? How would he explain that to the dimpled boy? Way to start off a relationship on a bad note.
No. The risk was too big, the reward far too small. He would not do it, he could not do it.
“You know I can’t do that, just doesn’t feel right. Can’t do that to him,”
Jimin smiles because he agrees. It’s not the first time they’ve talked about this, and certainly won’t be the last. Jimin knows how he feels and he gets it because he’s been there too.
“Why don’t you come with me and Joonie to the Fair tonight? Get your mind off things? Have some fun?”
“Will you buy me cotton candy?” Jeongguk asks with his puppy dog eyes on full display.
“Yes,” Jimin sighs with a fond smile. “And I’ll even get Joonie to win you a prize. Sound good?”
“Sounds great,”
↠ ❀ ↞
Maybe it’s not so great, because although Jimin is his best friend and he’s extremely fond of Namjoon, that’s all that they are to Jeongguk, friends. And Namjoon and Jimin are soulmates to each other, so naturally, Jeongguk is the third wheel.
Granted, they include Jeongguk in everything and involve him in every conversation and activity, but it isn’t the same. Jeongguk watches as they share fond looks with each other when they think Jeongguk isn’t looking, the way they feed each other cotton candy as if it’s something completely normal and how they hold hands throughout the entire night.
They’re small gestures, little tells that they’re something more than just friends. Jeongguk can tell that they’ve toned down their usual affection for each other, normally they can’t keep their hands to themselves, so Jeongguk appreciates their attempt to stay PG. After all, they invited Jeongguk to join them, they wanted him to be here, and they’re doing everything they can to make sure Jeongguk has a good time. And he is, but he can’t help but feel like something is missing.
Wherever he looks he sees couples together, he guesses the Fair is quite a nice date idea under the starlight. He’d quite like to take the dimpled boy here if he could, maybe Jeongguk could play one of those stupid ring toss games and get him a toy squirrel that looks just like him. He’d hand it over like some grand prize just to see the dimpled boy smile and his eyes sparkle under the fairy lights. No matter what Jeongguk does, his thoughts are consumed by his soulmate, his heart aches for them to be together.
For some reason it’s worse tonight, and all throughout the day. It’s almost as if his red string of fate is tugging at him harder than usual, pushing and pulling him in different directions to torture him with all the couples surrounding him. Showing him what he could have if only he was smart enough to decode the souldream he’s been having for the past 3 years. He almost feels like the universe is laughing at him, playing a game with his heart and feelings and Jeongguk is losing, he’s losing badly.
“What do you want to do now?” Jeongguk hears Namjoon ask, the sound of his voice breaking him out of his inner turmoil. He wants to try his best to really enjoy tonight, after all the effort his friends have gone too, it’s only fair if he actively tries.
Jeongguk hums, looking around the fair, there’s so much to choose from he’s a bit spoilt for choice. Since they arrived they’ve played silly games and eaten cotton candy, the two things Jeongguk deemed the most important part of a Fairground. As he takes in all the sites, Jeongguk can’t help but marvel at how pretty everything looks. How full of life the area is, people buzzing around full of laughter and joy. He soaks it all up, wanting to feel as delighted as those around him. Jeongguk closes his eyes and embraces it all, letting the laughter from others seep into his bones and fuel him up with the desire to be happy.
When he opens his eyes, he thinks he must be dreaming.
Just across the pathway is the game Jeongguk had been eyeing up all night. ‘The Strongest Man’ is a game where you hit a pad with a hammer with all your might and see how high a score you manage to get with just your strength alone. It’s a game Jeongguk thinks he would be good at, and that’s what’s been drawing him towards it all night.
But right now is different, because something else is causing his brain to zero in on that one place and that something is the dimpled boy.
Or so Jeongguk thinks it is. His brain might be deceiving him, he might truly be dreaming like he does every night, but Jeongguk knows what the dimpled boy looks like. He knows every feature of his face, like a tattoo imprinted in his mind from 3 years of dreams.
It’s truly mesmerising to see him in the flesh. All he’s doing is standing by the game attempting to lift up the hammer, which seems way too heavy for the dimpled boy’s delicate frame. Jeongguk suppresses a snort as he watches the dimpled boy laugh at himself through his struggle. He’s cute, Jeongguk thinks. Even cuter than he looked in Jeongguk’s dreams, with his oversized clothes and curly hair, he is absolutely everything that Jeongguk could have ever wished for.
Part of him wants to run over and lift the dimpled boy high up until the air and kiss him senseless, just like he had always hoped. (He saw it once in a romance movie and never forgot about it). But the other part of him is so content just standing by and watching the dimpled boy. Observing the way his face changes as he bites his tongue in between his teeth when he concentrates, into the biggest heart shaped smile when he finally hits the pad with the hammer. It’s like Jeongguk is getting a sneak preview to what living his life with the dimpled boy could be like, if only he walked over there and introduced himself.
But how can he do that? What is he supposed to say? There’s no way he can just walk up to his soulmate and say, “hi, my name is Jeongguk and you’re destined to spend the rest of your life with me,” like, what the fuck? You’d think after 3 years of dreaming about your soulmate you might have figured out how you’d introduce yourself but alas, Jeongguk is the embodiment of gay panic so that’s not going to be an easy feat. What happens if Jeongguk is totally wrong about this actually being the dimpled boy? He would make such a fool out of himself, might even die out of embarrassment. No, he couldn’t do that. No way.
“Jeongguk?” Jimin asks, a hand on his lower back. “Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,”
Jeongguk shakes his head, willing himself back into total consciousness. He turns to Jimin but looks back over towards the dimpled boy immediately, not wanting to look away for even a second.
“Not a ghost,” Jeongguk starts, his voice cracking and wavering as he attempts to talk. Not trusting his vocal chords any longer, Jeongguk just points towards the strong man game, he’s told Jimin so much about the dimpled boy he’s sure he’d recognise him immediately.
“Oh my god,” he exclaims in disbelief. “Jeongguk, oh my god. What are you still doing here? Go after him!” Jimin shakes his body back and forth.
The reality of the situation starts to catch up with Jeongguk. He knows he’s being stupid just standing here and watching his soulmate play a fair ground game but when your other half is as stunning as the dimpled boy, it’s hard to think about anything else. Jeongguk wonders what the dimpled boy would say if he told him that, showered him with compliments and told him how beautiful Jeongguk thought he was. He doesn’t need to wonder about that though, because he can do that, right now, if he just wills his feet to move in the right direction.
“Fuck,” Jeongguk curses, and before he can think another moment he flings his body onto Jimin, overwhelmed by his current situation he can’t communicate in anything other than physical affection. Jimin has been by his side throughout this whole ordeal, was the person who invited him to come here, is the person championing him to meet his soulmate. He’s so grateful for Jimin and right now all he can seem to muster is a bone crushing hug, and personally he thinks that’s very okay.
When he turns back to start running after the dimpled boy, Jeongguk cannot see him anywhere. It’s like he’s vanished, disappeared into thin air. Jeongguk’s whole body reacts on fight or flight mode and he’s running before he knows it, pushing past people without a single apology. This is his chance, the moment of truth, he’s not going to stand by and watch it disappear from his grasp, no way.
So he runs, and runs and runs. He searches everywhere, looking in every direction, only stopping briefly to take in his surroundings. The dimpled boy shines like a thousand diamonds, he sticks out from the crowd with his beauty alone, he should not be this hard to find. So he keeps going, his legs running on muscle memory, burning from overuse but paying the pain no mind. Jeongguk is on a mission to find the love of his life and his thighs will just have to deal with it for the time being.
He rounds a corner, and stops. His breathing is too heavy, too fast and too quick. He needs a second to collect himself, truly look around and reasses his surroundings. Where has he been already? Where hasn’t he looked yet? Jeongguk’s head is starting to hurt, why is this so difficult? It should not be this difficult.
Jeongguk leans his hands on his thighs, doubling over to catch his breath and is immediately met with his reflection staring back at him. He shakes his head, does a double take. This all seems too familiar. He tilts his head up, looking to see where this water is coming from and right there in front of him, is a small lake with swan boats roaming around. Jeongguk can’t help but chuckle at this new found revelation. Whenever he had his souldream he wondered whether he’d have to go visit another country just to meet his soulmate because there was no way this lake was in Seoul. Low and behold, this crystal clear lake is merely a pond in the middle of a Fairground, dressed up with swan boats and hanging lanterns to make it look romantic.
Suddenly a hand touches Jeongguk’s shoulders and his breath gets caught in his throat.
He’s had this dream almost every day for the past 3 years, he knows who this hand belongs to. All he needs to do is look up and there he should be, the dimpled boy, smiling down at him.
But what if it isn’t? What if Jeongguk is just projecting? He almost doesn’t want to look, curiosity killed the cat and all that jazz. But how is he supposed to not look, when his soulmate is literally touching him right now?
Jeongguk takes a shallow breath, willing his heart rate to calm the fuck down. He’s pretty sure the dimpled boy can feel it beating through the small of his back. Almost as if it’s the red string of fate pulling him up, Jeongguk stands up straight and turns towards the owner of the hand and everything suddenly falls into place.
The moment he locks eyes with the dimpled boy it’s like the world freezes, as if the universe is giving them time to catch up on all they have missed in the past 3 years of knowing about each other without truly knowing each other. The dimpled boy’s eyes are just as magnetising as Jeongguk remembers them being in his dreams, his jaw falls open off its own accord with Jeongguk being unable to truly control himself in that moment. He’s not sure what to say, or what to do, he truly can’t believe his eyes that the boy he’s dreamt about for so long is really there in front of him. The dimpled boy takes his hand back, choosing to cover his mouth in disbelief.
“It really is you,” he hears the dimpled boy say, his voice so soft and small Jeongguk could barely hear it, but so melodic and tuneful, Jeongguk thinks he could listen to him speak all day. He sees a small tear escape the corner of the dimpled boy’s eye and Jeongguk has to physically restrain himself from launching forwards to comfort him.
He takes a tentative step towards him, reaching out but leaving his hand in mid air, a question left for the dimpled boy to answer. The dimpled boy looks towards his extended hand and nods so quickly Jeongguk thinks he might get neck strain.
“Don’t cry, please don’t cry,” Jeongguk mutters as he lifts his hand up to the dimpled boy’s face. He traces the pad of his finger over the apples of his cheeks, wiping the tears away with a feather-light touch. “Can I- can I hug you?”
The giggle the dimpled boy lets out is filled with so much emotion, the yearning, the longing and most prominent, the pain of waiting for so long. He almost looks vulnerable, Jeongguk thinks, which is why he asks for permission time and time again. As much as his body is being pulled by his red string, he wants to be calm and collected, take it one step at a time, not push any boundaries. His upmost priority is making the dimpled boy smile and stopping the tears from falling down his cheeks, he hopes a simple hug will do the trick.
The dimpled boy all but collapses into Jeongguk’s hold and it hits him for the first time just how small the dimpled boy is. Maybe it’s because he’s curled in on himself with emotion, but Jeongguk can’t help but notice how dainty the other boy is, how neatly he fits in Jeongguk’s embrace, as if they are two puzzle pieces that were always meant to fit together.
An array of things hit Jeongguk like a tonne of bricks. This is really happening, his soulmate is here, in his arms, overcome with emotions because they’ve met for the very first time. It’s tangible and real and for the first time, Jeongguk is aware of all of his senses, the most prominent of which being his sense of smell. He wasn’t sure what he expected the dimpled boy to smell like, and right now he can’t really decipher it, but the scent is comforting and relaxing, almost like home. A wave of contemptment rushes through Jeongguk, his body relaxes against the dimpled boy’s. Everything feels so right now that they’re together, this was the feeling he was waiting for, yearning after, pining for, for so long. The wait was truly worth it.
“I’m Hoseok, by the way,” the dimpled boy mumbles into Jeongguk’s chest, a cheerful lilt to his voice that makes Jeongguk smile ear to ear.
“Hoseok,” Jeongguk sighs, testing out the name on his tongue. He finds that it’s a very fitting name, one he likes the sound of, one he can see himself repeating for hours on end. “Beautiful,”
Hoseok looks up at him, batting his eyelashes. He almost looks bashful and Jeongguk likes the idea of making him blush often, because his pink toned cheeks make him look even more ethereal than normal.
“I’m Jeongguk,” he tells Hoseok after a beat.
Hoseok nods and returns his head to Jeongguk’s chest, in a way that is so familiar it’s almost like they’ve been in each other’s hold since the beginning of time. Jeongguk cards his fingers through Hoseok’s hair and feels Hoseok sigh against him. It makes Jeongguk smile, finding out little things like this about Hoseok. There’s so much for him to learn and he can’t wait to find out everything there is to know about his soulmate.
“Would you like to ride the Ferris wheel with me?”
“I’d love to,” Hoseok replies, interlacing his fingers with Jeongguk’s and dragging him across the fair.
Although they’re running to get in line, it all seems to be going in slow motion. Part of Jeongguk wants to slap himself to make sure this is real, that Hoseok is real, that his life is real. It’s almost too good to be true, but surely that’s what having a soulmate is about? Being with a person who makes you feel whole, who makes you feel at home no matter where you are in the world, who brings a smile to your face just by existing in your life. Jeongguk thinks Hoseok is all of that and more.
Hoseok helps Jeongguk into the Ferris wheel car, pulling him down to sit as close to him as possible. Space doesn’t seem to exist between Jeongguk and Hoseok, they’ve been apart for so long, even a centimetre of space is too much.
“This has been a long time coming, huh?” Hoseok starts, his hands mindlessly playing with the rings on Jeongguk’s fingers. With everything Hoseok says and does he becomes ten times cuter to Jeongguk, he’s not sure what he did in his previous life to be rewarded with such an adorable and beautiful soulmate, but God, is he thankful.
“3 years,”
“6 for me,” Hoseok jokes, all humour gone from his voice.
“I’m sorry,” Jeongguk says before thinking. He knows it’s not his fault for being younger than Hoseok, but he can’t help but feel guilty. “That must have been horrible for you, all those years not knowing,”
“Hm,” Hoseok nods, thinking and contemplating. “The dream I had on September 1st was worth it, though,”
“What was your dream like?”
The car jolts forwards as the Ferris wheel whirs into action, and Hoseok stops fiddling with Jeongguk’s fingers to interlace their hands once more.
“Weird,” he laughs, a sound Jeongguk is quickly becoming very fond of. “At first I didn’t even think it was a souldream. After 3 years I just kinda just gave up, you know? It started with me staring at myself in a mirror, really eerie and strange, at first I thought I was dreaming I was in a dance studio. I’m a dancer, I promise that’s not as weird as it sounds,”
“Not weird at all. I’m a dancer too,”
It’s such a small thing to have in common, but it makes Jeongguk’s heart skip a beat. All his life he had been thinking about this moment, about this person who the universe deemed to be his other half. Imagine if you didn’t actually like your soulmate, enjoy their company or have anything in common? It’s a horror story Jeongguk was always afraid of, he didn’t think about it often, not wanting to dampen the idea of soulmates when he’d always been so excited about them. But here he is, sat in a tiny Ferris wheel car with the most beautiful man in existence who so happens to have the exact same hobby as Jeongguk.
“Really?” Hoseok asks, his voice high and squeaky with excitement.
“Yeah, my friend Jimin and I are actually opening the SNU end of semester showcase with this ballet inspired contemporary dance. You should come watch us rehearse, and come to the performance too,” Jeongguk rushes out, the excitement of being able to spend time with Hoseok getting too much for him to handle.
“I’d love that,” Hoseok beams and Jeongguk can tell he means it, truly means it.
They both just kind of stare at each other for a bit, no words exchanged just looks of awe and adoration. Jeongguk’s usually not a fan of silences, finding them awkward and tense, but with Hoseok there’s nothing but comfortability between them. Maybe it’s because there are no words to explain how they both feel right now, maybe there’s too many words they need to share with each other, maybe it’s all just a little surreal to finally be together that all they want to do is soak up the other’s presence and commit it to memory.
“What else happened?” Jeongguk asks. “In the dream?”
“Oh yeah,” Hoseok chuckles, as if the beginning of their conversation had been totally wiped from his mind. “I was just staring at myself in this mirror but it wasn’t a normal mirror, it was like wavy and weird. Then a person, a very pretty person, ran behind me and I followed them. Turns out it was you. At first I didn’t know what it meant or what the mirror was all about, but now,” Hoseok trails off, pointing towards the clown house situated at the side of the fair, with one wall covered in mirrors of all shapes and sizes that make your body contort in different ways.
Jeongguk can’t help but laugh and Hoseok joins in too.
“I had the same thing,” Jeongguk admits. “The lake over there, I had absolutely no idea where the hell that was. I trekked all around Seoul looking at all the famous lakes in the hope of recognising it somewhere. Turns out it was just a pond in the local park,”
Jeongguk stares at the pond, at the water rippling and moving around. He doesn’t notice Hoseok watching him, the way he looks at Jeongguk like he hangs the stars in the sky, like he can’t believe his eyes that Jeongguk is right there beside him.
“Jeongguk,” he starts, causing Jeongguk to turn and look at him. “I’m really glad you’re my soulmate,”
It’s a simple sentiment, but it’s one that hits Jeongguk straight in the chest. This is the moment he’s been yearning for all of his life, anxiously thinking about in every waking and sleeping moment. So many thoughts and situations have scattered through his brain what feels like hundreds upon hundreds of times. The best case scenarios and worst case scenarios alike, but nothing like this. Never in a million years did Jeongguk think such perfection was possible, but then he met his soulmate, and Hoseok proved him wrong.
He’s so caught up in the moment, Jeongguk doesn’t even hear the bangs of fireworks erupting in the sky, doesn’t feel the car come to a stop at the top of the Ferris wheel. First, he sees the fireworks in Hoseok’s eyes. Jeongguk has always been mesmerised by Hoseok’s eyes, thinking they are the most beautiful blend of gold and brown he has ever seen, but after seeing fireworks of every colour in the rainbow reflect inside them, Jeongguk thinks Hoseok’s eyes might as well be a work of art, for he has never seen anything so beautiful in all his life.
Jeongguk takes his free hand up to Hoseok’s face, his fingers dancing across Hoseok’s skin as he lays his palm against his cheek. Hoseok’s skin is cold in the chilly air, but Jeongguk’s palm is warm and he marvels at the way Hoseok leans into the warmth. Jeongguk runs the pad of his thumb over Hoseok’s cheek bone a few times, before inching slightly closer.
“Can I kiss you?”
But Hoseok doesn’t answer with words, he pushes his chest closer until their red string of fate pulls them close enough that they meet in the middle and their lips finally touch. Some people say a first kiss with your one true love should feel like electricity, a pulsing beat of fire and desire, but this is slow and smooth. The two of them taking their time and not wasting a moment. They’ve been waiting for this for such a long time, it’s only fair to indulge themselves now that they can. In a way, it almost symbolises their journey so far, slow and smooth and a bit different to the norm. It’s quintessentially them, Jeongguk and Hoseok, and that’s what makes it perfect.
However, Jeongguk had always pictured his first kiss with his soulmate to be like something out of a movie, a dramatic moment where the rain is pouring or the earth is shattering. It’s the cliche, and his hopeless romantic heart loves everything over dramatic, but he finds this moment with Hoseok so much better than anything he could’ve dreamt of before. With the fireworks in the sky and the fireworks between their lips, Jeongguk thanks his lucky stars that he came to the Fair tonight. He thanks every God he doesn’t believe in and the wheel of karma that is only really your own actions causing their own consequences, that he has a soulmate in Hoseok.
Who knew the trick to finding your soulmate was just to be in the right place at the right time?
When they part, Hoseok stares up at Jeongguk with a look so dazed it’s like he’s transcended to another world. Jeongguk thinks that he might have too, because right now he feels immortal. Hoseok makes him feel immortal.
“Would you like to go on a date with me tomorrow?” Hoseok asks, his eyes round and hopeful.
Jeongguk can’t help but giggle, his head dropping to rest on Hoseok’s shoulder. This is happening. This is really happening. He’s planning on going on his first date with his actual real life soulmate. It almost feels like a dream, how ironic.
“There’s nothing I’d like to do more,”
Hoseok smiles at him, so wide and so full that his dimples start to show. Jeongguk runs his fingers over the indents in his cheeks, marvelling over how his dimpled boy is right here to touch, to kiss and to love, after such a long time of waiting. Jeongguk nods to himself.
“Yeah,” he thinks. “Hoseok was definitely worth waiting for,”
