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Here’s an odd secret: Tsukasa doesn’t know what to make of himself.
He thinks that’s strange, not that he cares, but he can’t find another way to describe the awkward feelings which fill him whenever he tries to do the right things.
It feels right, yet unfamiliar.
(And the more he thinks about it, the more he considers…
He was something before, and he meant it when he said he was more like the Grongi.
He doesn’t consider for long.)
(Call him a monster and he might believe you.)
But Yuusuke? Yuusuke is the opposite.
He wasn’t a perfect hero either; Tsukasa had met the younger man, and he had been self-serving and jealous and kind of annoying. And yet. And yet .
And yet when Yuusuke chose to fight with him, it had felt like something pure and heroic was… not appearing in Yuusuke, but blossoming .
Unfairly good. It was so easy in that moment to declare that he would be fighting for the other Rider’s smile.
But now… but now…
Yuusuke doesn’t even remember.
“The person I know also thinks he can only destroy. He acts like a jerk but… in actuality, he’s fighting for others.”
The words etch their way into Tsukasa’s mind nonetheless. Because somehow so quickly Yuusuke believed in him, and then in Wataru, and then in Ren.
And it isn’t something Tsukasa can understand. It goes against something inside of him that he can’t deny he’s scared of. The part that consistently fails to comprehend the way other Riders (heroes) are, even though…
(He wants to.)
He can’t sleep, he can’t stop thinking about it.
So he lays in bed thinking about it.
He wishes he could understand.
“Why do you keep believing me?” He asks eventually, on another night he can’t stop thinking. Yuusuke turns to face him. Tsukasa looks adamantly at the ceiling.
“Because you believed in me,” the other Rider says simply. “I went to that fight not knowing why, and you saw me and announced me like a real hero.”
“You are a hero,” Tsukada says without thinking, and even then it had been true. Even at his most selfish, Yuusuke fought for others. “A better one than me.”
Yuusuke sits up, then. Tsukasa continues to not react, even feeling caring eyes on him.
“I don’t think so,” Yuusuke says. “Every World we’ve gone to, you’ve found and brought to light something in Kazuma’s heart, in Wataru’s heart, and in mine.”
Tsukasa doesn’t reply to that one. Yuusuke just doesn’t see it.
That had been Yuusuke, not Tsukasa. He had been the one to make the choice in his world, the one to believe in Wataru enough for the boy to take a stand and claim his birthright. Yuusuke had been the one to believe in Ren enough to figure out and solve their problems, and even here on Blade World, Yuusuke has helped.
(Tsukasa knows he’s being selfish, he just… he’s helping, too. Isn’t he?)
But Tsukasa doesn’t know how to say any of that, so he says nothing.
It’s a few days later that he finds himself kissing a confused Yuusuke.
“Tsukasa?” He asks. “Why—”
( “I’ll believe… in whatever Yuusuke believes in!” )
He doesn’t know why. He wanted to.
“Did you not want it?” Tsukasa asks. Yuusuke blinks.
“I… I did,” he says. “I just didn’t expect it.”
Tsukasa remains in close space with the other Rider.
You are the most incredible person I’ve met.
You are mine.
“Do you want me to do it again?” He asks, instead of trying to analyze his own often confusing thoughts. Yuusuke doesn’t respond, he just pulls Tsukasa into a kiss.
I love you , Tsukasa doesn’t say.
But he knows he’ll keep believing in Yuusuke.