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It had all started normally enough.
“We should do a gift exchange this Christmas,” Tokoha suggested, as they were sitting around in Card Capital 2 one day.
It was the middle of December, and the G Quests were on pause for the next few weeks for the holiday season.
“Sure,” Chrono said.
“Sounds fun,” Shion added.
“Though, I guess between the three of us, Secret Santa wouldn’t work too well,” Tokoha reasoned.
“That’s true,” Shion agreed, “I suppose we could just do a normal gift exchange where we set a price cap and that’s all.”
“Mm, but that would be so boring.”
Tokoha paused for a moment of contemplation, before suddenly lighting up.
“I know!” she exclaimed, “have you guys ever heard of ‘White Elephant’? It’s a gift exchange game that they play in America.”
“I think I’ve heard of it,” ventured Shion, “it was something about getting each other really impractical or bad presents, right?”
“Essentially.”
Chrono tilted his head in confusion.
“But why would anyone want to get each other bad gifts?” he questioned, “wasn’t Christmas in America all about getting friends and family good gifts?”
Tokoha smiled.
“See, Chrono, giving a good gift takes skill. But giving a bad gift?”
Her smile grew wider.
“Bad gift giving is an art.”
Chrono considered this for a second.
“But wouldn’t giving a bad gift be easier than giving a good one?”
Tokoha scoffed.
“Bad gift giving requires just as much - if not more thought than good gift giving. Simply giving a bad gift is easy, but giving a truly terrible gift takes talent and dedication.”
Chrono hummed.
“Hm, I don’t know, I still think finding a bad gift is easier than finding a good one.”
“I also think that it would be more difficult to find a present that someone would genuinely appreciate,” Shion stated.
Tokoha raised an eyebrow.
“Oh, really? Okay, then how about this: this Christmas, we each get each other the worst gift we can think of, and see how easy that ends up being? Whoever gives the worst gift wins the title of Best and/or Worst Gift Giver. Oh, and of course, we can set the budget at ¥2000 or something.”
Chrono and Shion exchanged a glance before shrugging.
“Sure,” Chrono said, “why not?”
A week later, Chrono found himself sitting on the floor of Shion’s apartment, ready for whatever strange gift exchange “competition” was about to take place.
“Okay,” Tokoha declared, settling down amidst the various bags and packages, “Shion, would you like to present your gifts?”
“With pleasure,” Shion complied, reaching for a gift bag.
Pulling out a clear plastic box, he placed it in front of Tokoha.
“To you, Tokoha, I give a ¥1000 Ahsha figurine.”
Chrono studied the figurine. It seemed… normal. Just -
“Her scythe is the wrong shape, her hair is the wrong colour, and the flowers look more like roses than ranunculuses,” Shion listed.
Tokoha’s eye twitched. She immediately shoved the box underneath the table.
Shion smiled.
“I would recommend against burning it. I searched it up; that type of plastic is not particularly flammable.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
With that, Shion turned over to Chrono.
“And for you, Chrono, here is a pizza slicer.”
He then handed Chrono what appeared to be a normal pair of scissors, except that it had a triangular piece of plastic attached perpendicularly to one of the blades. Presumably to hold the pizza that had been sliced.
Chrono looked incredulously from the so-called “pizza slicer” to Shion.
“Why would you spend your hard-earned money on this?”
Shion, to his credit, appeared equally mystified as he shrugged.
“I honestly have more questions for whichever company decided to import this. Seriously, a subsidiary of the Kiba Corporation has a partnership with them. We should definitely rethink that.”
Chrono blinked.
“...you do that. Anyway,” he went on, also shoving his newly gifted kitchen “tool” (if it could even be called that) under the table, “what did you bring, Tokoha?”
Tokoha perked up from attempting to incinerate her new Ahsha figurine with nothing but the might of her glare.
“Give me one second,” she said, rummaging through a bag, “I’ve got to prepare something first.”
Tokoha proceeded to get up and head for the kitchen. Chrono heard her turn the tap on and off before returning.
She then set her gift down on the table.
It was a plain, black, ceramic teapot.
“For you, Shion,” she pronounced, smiling sweetly.
Shion blinked.
“Thank you?” he replied hesitantly, picking up the teapot and examining it.
Chrono could understand his confusion. For all intents and purposes, it looked like a completely ordinary teapot.
Tokoha then put a matching black teacup on the table, before motioning at Shion to hand her the teapot.
She poured the tap water into the cup.
And oh.
Oh.
Chrono was no expert on the semantics of tea ceremonies, but the sheer amount of splashing and splattering that the teapot produced as it filled the small teacup - with more than half the water ending up on the table instead - was almost horrific.
This teapot would have probably been better suited to be a sprinkler than to be used for its intended purpose.
Out of the corner of his eye, Chrono saw Shion fight the urge to physically recoil.
With the teacup finally filled (and sitting in a shoebox-sized puddle), Tokoha slid the tea set towards Shion.
“I hope you enjoy.”
Shion opened his mouth before closing it again.
“Thank you,” he settled for, wearing the generic polite expression that he generally reserved for politicians, business executives, and other incarnations of evil, “I appreciate the thought.”
Tokoha inclined her head in response before turning to Chrono.
“And for Chrono - ”
She dug around in another shopping bag.
“ - something more of use.”
She then handed Chrono a bottle of hair gel, and a book -
Classic Men’s Hairstyles, 2nd edition.
Chrono leveled Tokoha with an unamused look.
“How many times do I have tell you that it’s natural? You’ve literally seen my hair wet before.”
“I’m not here to judge. I’m just trying to give a nice gift to my friend, that’s all.”
“Not here to judge? This is a hairstyling instructional manual.”
“I mean hey, I could have just gotten you a hair straightener.”
Chrono narrowed his eyes.
And sighed.
“Okay, you know what?” he announced, pushing the book and hair gel behind a nearby box, “Whatever. It’s my turn now, right?”
He started by pulling out a small rectangular object and putting it on the table, narrowly missing the puddle left by Tokoha’s teapot.
“First, for Shion: this is a calculator, but it only gives wrong answers.”
To prove his point, Chrono punched in “1”, “+”, “1”, and “=”.
The calculator flashed “38”.
Shion closed his eyes for a long moment, before silently reaching over and flipping the calculator facedown.
“Well played,” Tokoha complimented.
“Thank you,” Chrono replied, before reaching for another bag.
“And as for you, Tokoha…”
Chrono set down a thermos before her and handed over a pair of chopsticks.
Tokoha and Shion both blinked.
“Do I…?”
“Yep, you can open it.”
Tokoha slowly twisted open the thermos. Billowing steam rose out of the container as she carefully lifted the lid. She then stared at the contents.
Thin, buckwheat noodles were bathed in the golden-brown broth, complete with a colourful array of vegetables. Thinly sliced carrots neatly lined one edge of the container, mushrooms decorated another, and greens were gathered in the centre.
“It’s... soba,” Tokoha deduced, delicately lifting a noodle out of the broth with the chopsticks.
“Yes, it’s soba,” Chrono confirmed.
“You’re giving me soba?”
Chrono nodded.
“Yes, I’m giving you soba…”
He leaned slightly closer to Tokoha with a grin.
“...without croquettes.”
There was a moment of stunned silence before Tokoha’s jaw dropped and Shion slapped a hand over his mouth to muffle his laughter.
Chrono patted Tokoha’s shoulder.
“Merry Christmas Tokoha.”
40 minutes later, with Tokoha having set aside the now empty thermos in order to make her best attempt to rip apart the Ahsha figurine limb by limb, and Shion seeming like he was using every inch of his willpower to not smash his new teapot with his new calculator, Chrono suddenly paused in the middle of idly flipping through various hairstyles.
“So, who won?”
Tokoha and Shion both looked up, and then at each other.
“These are all very bad presents,” Shion acknowledged, “but I’m not sure there was a ‘worst’ per se.”
Tokoha nodded in agreement.
“So basically, we’re all the Best and/or Worst Gift Giver?” Chrono concluded.
Tokoha looked to the ceiling and tapped her chin in thought.
“Well,” she said, “we could leave it at that, or - ”
She turned to her friends. Her eyes held a familiar mischievous sparkle that usually preceded utter chaos, certain doom, or both.
“ - there’s always next year.”
(And next year, as they sat in Card Capital 2 - with Chrono wondering if his new red and pink striped t-shirt featuring a graphic of Chrono Dran and himself labelled “Chronos!” would make a good firestarter, and Shion googling how he could melt down his newly acquired gaudy copper paperweight - Tokoha spoke up from behind her copy of Microwave Cooking for 1.)
(“So, next year?”)
(Shion and Chrono barely glanced at her.)
(“But of course.”)
(“Did you even have to ask?”)
(And so, next year.)
(And the year after that.)
(And the year after that, too.)
(And so on.)
“That mug.”
Kazuma startled as Chrono suddenly stopped in the middle of the sidewalk to look at a shop’s display window.
He glanced over at the mug that Chrono was apparently looking at.
Oh god.
Did that even qualify as a mug?
It seemed to be modelled after a knight’s helmet of some kind, although it was so misshapen that Kazuma would classify it as a cross between a lizard and a gnome. Uneven glaze covered the monstrosity in some nightmarish ombre of green to yellow to orange.
What type of shop owner would willingly put that in a display case, especially this close to Christmas?
Chrono nodded, seemingly to himself.
“Shion would hate it.”
Kazuma blinked.
“...given that Kiba has eyes, I would assume so.”
Chrono nodded again, this time with an air of determination.
“I’m going to go buy that mug.”
With that, he turned towards the entrance of the store, pushed open the door, and strode in.
Kazuma stared after him.
Okay.
Yep.
That was… definitely the logical next step.
Totally.
As Mamoru greeted Tokoha at the airport arrivals gate, he couldn’t help but notice the rather... peculiar object that she was holding.
It appeared to be a gigantic lollipop bouquet, filled with an assortment of smaller, rainbow-coloured spherical lollipops and topped with five oversized red and pink swirled lollipops. Hot pink tissue paper and a bright red bow completed the look.
“Tokoha, what are you holding?”
“Oh, this?”
Tokoha beamed proudly at the very eye-catching bouquet.
“This is Chrono’s Christmas present! I found it at a duty free store in Paris. Isn’t it just perfect?”
Now.
Mamoru tried to be a good older brother. He did his best to respect Tokoha’s independence and not question her decisions.
But.
“...do you think that this is a present that Chrono-kun would, ah, appreciate?”
Tokoha, if anything, looked even prouder.
“It better not be.”
“Shion-sama, you’ve received a package from Anjou-sama.”
“From Tokoha? What is it?”
“It appears to be a Christmas present.”
Taking the small package from Iwakura, Shion cautiously tore open the gold wrapping paper and read the text on the box underneath.
LOL's 20XX Boxed Daily Calendar: French Edition! Your Daily Dose of So-Bad-They’re-Good French Dad Jokes
Oh.
Oh, no.
He slowly opened the box and flipped open the calendar.
January 27th
Why did the French chef commit suicide after the critic's attack?
He lost his huile d'olive.
Flip.
April 2nd
A French baker fell off his roof, but landed in a pile of baguettes.
He was fine, but in a lot of pain.
Flip.
August 10th
What do the French call a really bad Thursday?
A trajeudi.
Shion closed his eyes and took a deep breath before pinching the bridge of his nose.
He let out a long sigh.
“...this is revenge for the ‘a long tamago’ engraved locket, isn’t it.”
11:34
Tokoha
[Photo attached]
Tokoha
chrono, why.
Chrono
I had the same question when I found these
Tokoha
i’m just
Tokoha
who in their right mind would want to buy cardwarriors vangamen themed KNEE HIGH socks??
With their finals in January a mere week away, Chrono was surprised to see a familiar black car parked outside of Card Capital 2 after he finished closing the store for the night.
As he approached the car, Shion rolled down the window.
“Hi Chrono,” he called, “I was in the area so I figured that I would drop this off.”
Shion held out a festively wrapped package.
Chrono sighed.
Figures.
He took the present and ripped open the packaging.
And stared.
Because this… this was without a doubt the most hideous Christmas sweater that Chrono had ever seen.
Bright red and green in all the wrong ways and places, complete with rows of Christmas trees, reindeer, and - were those tiny gears instead of snowflakes?
And of course, featured dead centre on the front was Chronojet Dragon.
Wearing a Santa costume.
Which.
Just -
“Why? Why would you do this?”
The amused twinkle in Shion’s blue eyes was almost infuriating.
“Do you like it, Chrono? I made it myself.”
“You what?”
“It took me a few months and a lot of cashmere yarn, but I think the end product made it worthwhile.”
“You used cashmere for this?”
Chrono took a closer look at the sweater. The stitching was practically perfect and now that he was feeling it more carefully, the material was incredibly soft and comfortable.
With a wink, Shion began rolling up his window.
“I have to go to a meeting now. Merry Christmas Chrono!”
And with that, he sped away, leaving Chrono alone on the sidewalk with his unspeakable woolen creation.
(Chrono didn’t know whether he should have laughed or screamed when he realized later that night that it fit perfectly.)
Kumi supposed that Tokoha’s apartment looked about the way she expected it would.
It was small and cozy, with polaroids of friends and family dangling from a clothespins line above the bed, and fairy lights strung across the walls. A few Vanguard trophies and medals sat on a shelf, along with a succulent and a few other mementos. The gray winter skies and the bustle of the Parisian street below peeked through the flowy, emerald green curtains that framed the studio window.
Except, it also looked nothing like Kumi expected.
For starters, books and papers were scattered over every available flat surface. The wall above her desk was tiled with what appeared to be several layers of sticky notes.
“Um, Tokoha-chan?”
“Yeah?” Tokoha answered, nudging aside Kumi’s suitcase to settle down next to her on the couch.
“What is… this?”
Kumi indicated to the apartment as a whole.
Tokoha lit up.
“Ah, this is my Christmas present to Shion!”
Kumi tilted her head in confusion.
“Christmas present?”
“Yep!”
Tokoha grabbed what looked like a random piece of paper from a nearby stack.
“See, the Kiba Corporation mostly specializes in medical technology and pharmaceuticals, but they also have subsidiaries in finance, transport, and hospitality,” she recited, indicating to specific sections of her notes.
She then started digging through the piles of notebooks and papers on the coffee table.
“So I’ve been trying to find the Kiba Corporation’s greatest rivals in all of the industries that they’re involved in - ”
Finally, she unearthed a tablet from the papers and turned it on. After fiddling with it for a few seconds, she flipped the screen towards Kumi.
“ - and buying stocks in all those rival companies.”
Kumi stared at the screen.
Other than the fact that she was looking at a lot of red and green numbers, she understood nothing.
“I’m thinking about trying to transfer ownership of the stocks to Shion,” Tokoha continued, seemingly unaware of Kumi’s growing confusion, “but then again, that might cause too much trouble for him. So maybe I’ll just send him my proof of ownership and that’ll be all.”
“...Tokoha-chan, did you have a fight with Kiba-kun?”
Tokoha startled, and pulled back her tablet with a frown.
“What?”
“Did he say something to you? Do I need to go fight him when I get back to Tokyo?”
Tokoha blinked, before laughing and waving a hand.
“No, no, Kumi-chan! Don’t worry, we’re good. I just talked to him and Chrono last week.”
“Then why…?”
Tokoha hummed and her eyes wandered over to one of the photos on the wall. Kumi followed her gaze.
It was a picture of Tokoha, Chrono, and Shion, taken the last time that Tokoha had visited Japan. The three of them were standing on a bridge, clearly unaware that they were being photographed. Shion was holding his hands up placatingly while Chrono was playfully glaring at Tokoha, who was mid laugh.
Tokoha’s expression was fond.
“It’s just our thing, you know?”
“Taiyou, how hard do you think it would be to learn how to crochet?”
“...Chrono-san, don’t you have a thesis to write?”
18:28
Chrono
[Photo attached]
Chrono
@Tokoha I would like it to be known that I had no part in this
Chrono
I literally just passed it on my way home
Tokoha
…
Tokoha
KIBA SHION
Tokoha
DID YOU JUST BUY ME A BILLBOARD FOR CHRISTMAS???
Shion
Congratulations on your Euro League title, Tokoha!
Shion
“Chrono!”
Chrono turned from the window at the sound of Tokoha’s voice to see her coming towards him from the end of the hallway, with Shion in tow.
“Tokoha, it’s been a while! I’m glad you made it!”
“Of course I made it! We haven’t seen each other in ages!”
“Those tournaments sure keep you busy.”
“But not as busy as Mr. ‘needs to be involved in at least 10 ongoing projects to live’ over here.”
“I can make time for my friends,” Shion retorted.
“Oh really,” Tokoha challenged, crossing her arms, “then do you want to grab dinner after this?”
“...only if you want to attend a biotech gala.”
“Right.”
Tokoha shifted her gaze back towards Chrono.
“But anyway, of course I’d come. After all - ”
She looked out the window beside them.
“ - you’re finally going, aren’t you?”
Chrono turned back towards the window as well.
Across the lush green fields, the tall white rocket stood in plain sight through the floor-to-ceiling window. Its tip gleamed against the boundless blue sky.
“I’m going,” he confirmed, “I’m going to see them again.”
The three friends stood there for a moment, looking, before Chrono turned back over to Tokoha and Shion.
“So, why did you come find me? To tell me to not mess up?”
“Well, that, and to give you this.”
Tokoha then pulled out a small gift bag from her blazer pocket.
The red foil was covered with tiny pictures of snowflakes and snowmen, and the bag was tied with a shiny green ribbon.
“Here, a joint Christmas present from me and Shion.”
Chrono stared at the bag.
“But it’s October.”
Shion shrugged.
“We know, but you’re not coming back until February, so we thought that we would give you our present now,” he offered.
Accepting the gift, Chrono undid the ribbon and reached inside the bag.
It was a piece of square, white fabric, complete with a cross stitch.
An awful, awful cross stitch.
Chrono supposed that if he squinted, he could make out the design to be Tokoha, Shion, and himself back in middle school, in front of the Tokyo Skytree. But as it was, Tokoha’s green hair and long pink skirt made her look more like a slice of watermelon than a human being, and Shion’s blond hair and signature black jacket morphed together in a way that made him vaguely resemble a smudged bumblebee. Chrono himself was simply a blotch of red with a smattering of yellow, white, and pink. In the background, the Tokyo Skytree looked more like a blue safety cone than a tower.
The very bottom of the cloth featured - in arguably the most intelligible bit of stitching - 2 simple words:
TRY3 Forever.
“We just wanted to give you a piece of us to take with you. To remind you that no matter where you are in the universe, we’ll always be there for you,” explained Tokoha.
“No matter how far you go or how alone you feel, remember that we’ll always be there to support you if you need us,” Shion echoed.
“So take our feelings with you, okay Chrono?” Tokoha finished, laying a hand on Chrono’s shoulder.
Chrono looked from the cross stitch in his hands, to Tokoha, to Shion -
To the open kindness emanating from their faces, to the warmth enveloping him, to this unconditional sense of belonging, sense of home
- and back down again.
He gave a watery chuckle.
(Who would Shindou Chrono have been without this?)
“Tokoha, Shion,” he began, clutching the fabric towards his chest before lifting his eyes back up to his friends - his team, his family, “you’ve outdone yourselves. This is truly the most terrible Christmas gift I’ve ever received.”
Tokoha laughed. Her amber eyes glistened in the afternoon sun.
“What can I say? We’ve had a lot of practice in the art.”