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OP Secret Santa 2020
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Published:
2020-12-25
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I wanna be still with you

Summary:

When did Nami fall in love with Vivi?

Notes:

This is a secret santa gift for Firefist! I hope you like it I had a lot of fun writing it. Happy holidays!

Title is a lyric from "Texas Reznikoff" by Mitski

Work Text:

When did Nami fall in love with Vivi?

She changed when she began her stay on their ship. The villain that Vivi pretended to be bled away to reveal a genuine person with wants and worries. Many worries. It made Nami realize how young Vivi was, not much younger than herself. It was a wonder that a princess would stand being on a pirate ship with a crew such as theirs, but Vivi took it in stride and seemed to fit in effortlessly. She was charming, not just in the way royalty tended to be. She still had a regal air to her, but it wasn’t commanding, nor did it seek to maintain distance. She didn’t dress like a princess, either. T-shirts, button-ups, long pants; it suited her, and Nami couldn’t help but find it endearing. It was pleasant, exhilarating even, to be able to stand, fight, eat, relax, side-by-side with Vivi. That was probably when it all started.

The girl’s dormitory only had one bed. They hadn’t anticipated having a long-term guest like Vivi, after all. The princess didn’t mind sharing, though, and so Nami didn’t mind it either. She found herself sleeping better with the company, actually. Vivi’s perfume would fill her nose as she settled down in bed next to her, her hair fanning out on the pillow. And if when Nami woke up after Vivi some mornings she would roll over and and breathe in the scent of the other’s pillow, well, that was nobody’s business. Sometimes the two of them would stay up late just talking. Vivi would tell her about her favorite memories of Alabasta, places that she wishes she could go, foods that she misses eating. Nami would talk about interesting things about cartography and navigating. If Vivi was lucky, she’d tell her stories from her days stealing from pirates. Sometimes Nami would wake up and find Vivi lying closer to her, with her forehead resting against Nami’s side or with an arm draped over her waist. Nami let herself sleep in on those mornings.

Maybe she fell in love in a state of delirium. Feverish, thinking only of Vivi’s destination, willing herself to stay standing until suddenly she was falling. And when Vivi caught her, Nami let herself sink, melt, lose shape in her arms. She felt herself become the cyclone, the raging wind, the strike of lightning on the undulating waves. Then Vivi clutched Nami tighter and she fell back to earth as their ship sailed past the storm.

Maybe it was when she fought her captain. There’s just something so human about talking with your fists when words fail to do the job. It was striking to witness Vivi reach such a point in a moment of raw anger and helplessness. Nami watched her and Luffy come at each other as equals, tumble in the sand, throw punches meant to hurt. She watched her cry for her country. It was all part of Luffy’s shitty way of telling Vivi to rely on them more. But when Nami knelt in the sand and held her, Vivi let herself lean against her, so she supposed it worked in the end. Vivi was vicious when she felt cornered, but also when her friends were cornered. Nami can remember how she felt, watching through cage bars, when Vivi landed on that table and swung her weapon at Crocodile, vaporizing his head clean off. It was reckless, yes, but such was just another thing to like about her. Everything about Vivi was like that.

And while Vivi gazed behind them as the crab moved further and further from Luffy, Nami was watching her. Watched the way the sun’s corona framed her silhouette, the way Vivi became the sun itself. And maybe Nami was already in love.

When the rain touched the sands of Alubarna and Vivi’s cry echoed through the country, the peace that followed the struggle was refreshing. And Vivi seemed weightless with relief. The two had the whole section of the bath to themselves, each motion Vivi took washing Nami’s back sending tingling sensations up her spine. She listened to the princess talk and talk about how vast the world is, feeling her joy seep into her words, but noticed there was a sense of wistfulness there, too. And then Nami realized, perplexed, that she found that same wistfulness in herself. She was going to have to leave Vivi soon, and the thought distressed her even though she had always known it to be true. Everything just felt so right with Vivi by her side, and she wanted to have that forever. How did she let this sneak up on her?

They sat in the bath together, pensive, Vivi thinking about whether she should come with them or not and Nami thinking about her runaway feelings. She wanted to tell Vivi everything because she knew she would probably never get another chance. But at the same time, she didn’t want to create an unfair influence on Vivi’s decision. It would be selfish. So later when the crew slipped out of the palace in the middle of the night, Nami took a moment to hold Vivi tight in one last embrace and tell her to give them her decision tomorrow.

The melancholy feeling in Nami’s chest grew as they got further and further away from the palace, away from Vivi. It was like she left her whole heart in that room. She was barely present during the crew’s strategy planning with Mr. 2, unable to think about anything else. After everything was decided, they boarded their ship and Nami went to bed, alone. She settled under the covers and paused, before leaning over to press her nose against the pillow beside her. When she inhaled Vivi’s scent she crumpled and hugged the pillow tight to her body, let herself drown in it.

They were leaving the shore of Alabasta and each moment they grew further from the island was another crack in Nami’s heart. And it kept breaking as Vivi met them at the shore and said her piece through tears. The burning question. They turned their backs, raised their fists, displaying their unifying mark. And Nami stood there, one hand on her hip with the other fist in the air, unable to keep her own tears from spilling down her face.

 

* * *

 

They’re on Jaya when Nami is approached by an Albatross Delivery carrier holding an envelope addressed to her. How the bird was able to track her down, she doesn’t know. When she takes it, her nose recognizes the scent that she hasn’t smelled since it faded from her bedsheets. Nami hurriedly tucks herself into the nearest alley and opens the letter. She’s met with Vivi’s sweet, yet elegant penmanship, and the sight makes Nami’s heart flutter. She reads it once, twice, three times, over and over again until each word is imprinted in her mind. And slowly, Nami can feel her heart begin to mend itself. She begins to heal. 

 

Dear Nami,

I hope this letter reaches you well. The truth is, I’ve wanted to write this since the moment we said goodbye. I’ve missed our adventures together every single day. It’s so quiet without you guys here livening the place up! I would almost call it boring, but rest assured I’m doing everything to help Alabasta thrive. I miss you, Nami. I miss sharing my life with you. You’re wonderful, radiant, and make every day rich. You were there for me at my worst and at my best, and I feel so lucky to have had you by my side. You are so very special to me, Nami. I’ve been trying to find the words to properly express how I feel about you, and I think the best way to describe it is love. I love you. I hope we can meet again someday, so that I can say those words to you in person. Until then, tell everyone that I’m doing fine and that I wish them well.

Love, Vivi