Chapter Text
Your head went to rest on your hand as you sat idly at the table, drumming your fingers on the wood finish in absolute boredom. You hardly fought the massive, uncovered yawn that followed, blinking away a stray teardrop that formed because of it.
You were surprised that you would end up being this uninterested, given your situation. You were surrounded by six of your skeletal friends from each end of the table, you all held a hand of playing cards before you, and to top it all off, there was also a fairly large bowl filled with monster candy of all different kinds sitting right on the edge of the table as you all partook in a game of poker.
Why in the world weren’t you joining in the casual banter and money-free gambling during this long-awaited game night, anyway…?
“I CAN SEE IT IN THOSE SMARMY EYELIGHTS OF YOURS, ASHTRAY. YOU ARE A STARS-FALLEN CHEATER!”
“dude, how can i even cheat against you? you’re all the way on the other side of the table.”
“DON’T YOU DARE PLAY DUMB WITH ME! THERE WERE CLEARLY TWENTY SEVEN PIECES OF CANDY IN MY POOL, AND ONLY ELEVEN IN YOURS. WOULD YOU MIND TELLING ME JUST HOW I HAVE SOMEHOW MISPLACED ONE FROM MY PILE, AND THAT YOU SOMEHOW MANAGED TO GAIN ANOTHER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROUND?”
“EDGE, QUIT ACCUSING PAPY OF CHEATING! MY BROTHER IS RESPECTABLE DURING THESE GAMES, AND WOULD NEVER RESORT TO THAT SORT OF THING! MAYBE IT JUST…FELL ONTO THE FLOOR OR SOMETHING.”
“nuh-uh, baby-blue, hear boss out. then how did stretch get an extra piece?”
“WELL…HE MUST HAVE TAKEN ANOTHER ONE FROM THE BOWL! HE’S BEEN EATING FROM HIS PILE THROUGHOUT THE GAME, SO HE MIGHT HAVE TAKEN AN EXTRA ONE WHEN HE TRIED TO COMPENSATE FOR THE LOST ONES!”
“I’M NOT BUYING IT, YOU BUNCH OF INGRATES!!”
Oh, yeah. It was because all of this arguing had been going on ever since the first round, and you just so happened to be nursing a headache because of it. How could you forget?
You popped another monster candy in your mouth, relieved that the quickly-dissolving snack worked its literal magic on the thumping in your head. Your pile was dwindling fast for just that reason, but you couldn’t have cared less at this point.
And here you were, thinking that suggesting a nice and friendly game like this would have been fun. Silly you…
“HUMAN! RESOLVE THIS DISPUTE!” Tall and impossibly edgy as his namesake, the angry skeleton jabbed a finger at you before the argument could grow any more heated, then moved it to land on Stretch. “TELL THAT HEATHEN TO SURRENDER THE CANDY HE STOLE!”
You sighed heavily. You were nearly up to here with how ridiculous this game night was turning out. “Edge, it’s literally one piece of candy out of twenty-seven. Can’t you deal with it, just this once?” Normally, you would have been a much gentler peace-maker with him, but even you had your limits.
The skeleton reeled backwards, appalled by your answer. “B-BUT, HE’S CLEARLY LYING!!” He shrieked, slamming down on the table with his red-gloved claws. “YOU CAN SEE IT IN THAT KNOWING SMIRK OF HIS! HE STOLE FROM MY POOL, AND I DEMAND RECOMPENSE!!”
Edge slammed his hands down a second time, and you watched the plastic candy bowl, as if in slow motion, tip over the edge of the table, letting all of the (thankfully wrapped) candies scatter onto the floor and under the table.
The motion seemed to have woken Sans up, who had fallen asleep a few minutes ago. He jerked back awake, yawning loudly like you had just done. “huh? wha…what did i miss…?”
“HE KEEPS CHEATING!” Edge yelled.
“and i’m clearly not.” Stretch countered.
“AND EDGE TIPPED OVER THE CANDY BOWL!” Blueberry piped back up, pointing at said skeleton.
“and this game sucks…” Red muttered.
Nope. You were not dealing with this anymore. “And I’m out.” You huffed, getting up from the table to clean up Edge’s mess.
Papyrus, who had been sitting in uncomfortable silence throughout the whole spectacle, finally spoke up at your frustration. “WAIT, (Y/N), PLEASE DON’T QUIT! THE GAME ISN’T ANY FUN WITHOUT YOU HERE!”
You sighed, though not as hard as before. Out of all of the skeletons pissing you off, he was certainly at the bottom of the list. “Well, nobody seems to be having fun, period. All everyone is doing is arguing with each other, when this was supposed to be another fun game night.”
Blueberry, never one to leave a mess, jumped out of his seat to help you pick up the rest of the candy. “MAYBE THIS GAME ISN’T AS FRIENDLY AS WE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE. WE COULD PLAY ANOTHER CARD GAME INSTEAD!”
“A WONDERFUL IDEA, BLUEBERRY! SHALL I SUGGEST A ROUSING BOUT OF ‘GO FISH’?” Papyrus exclaimed.
You heard Red blow a raspberry, and could practically hear the eye-roll, as well. “laaaaaame. blackjack is much more fun, ain’t it, sweetheart?”
“Well…” You were mulling it over when Stretch spoke up before you could.
“howzabout a game of bs? that’s always fun, yeah?” You and Blueberry had placed the full candy bowl back on the table when Edge answered him before anyone else.
“I DETEST THESE SIMPLE CARD GAMES, ANYHOW. LET’S DO SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT…LIKE RUSSIAN ROULETTE.” With a nasty grin, he turned back to the orange-hooded skeleton. “HE CAN GO FIRST.”
“Edge, knock it off.” You said firmly, plopping back down in your chair. “If you’re not going to be helpful, then don’t say anything.”
He turned his be-daggered glare to you for a split second, before angrily huffing down in his own chair, as well.
“So no card games, then? Am I putting these away or not?” When most of the skeletons gave muttered affirmatives, you made to gather up the cards, placing them on the kitchen counter behind you.
You turned back to the group resolutely. “Alright. I, for one, am not ending this night on a bad note. We’re finding another game to do, and we’re going to have fun if it’s the last thing we do tonight!” Your hands flew to your hips. “So let’s just agree that majority rules for any game voted on, just to move things along. Any suggestions?”
Edge opened his mouth to say something, but you cut him off. “Any non-violent suggestions?” You fought back a smile at seeing the sharp skeleton cross his arms with a soft growl.
Sans, who had yet to participate, finally raised his head up lazily to address the party. “well, video games are out, at least. accidentally broke the console.” A chorus of groans resounded from the table, but Sans merely shrugged, undeterred. “sorry.”
You frowned. You could have sworn that the system had been fine a few days ago; he had absolutely trounced you in Mario Kart then. He wasn’t the type to ‘accidentally break’ things, either.
Blueberry put a gloved hand to his mandible in thought. “MAYBE…CHARADES?”
“I SECOND THAT!” Papyrus quickly raised his hand, but upon hearing the rest make noises of disapproval, he slowly lowered it back down.
“why do ya cream puffs have to pick all the pansy games? what, was ‘chutes and ladders’ gonna be one of your picks? maybe ‘candyland’?” Red scoffed, snickering at his own jab.
You were about to tell him off for being mean, but he continued before you got a word in. “we gotta think of (y/n), too, boys. i’m thinkin’ a good, wholesome round of spin the bottle.” With a perverse smirk thrown your way, Red made a beer bottle from the fridge materialize in his hand with his magic, before he popped the cap and started chugging it.
You looked at the edgy monster like he had grown a second skull, as he downed the rest of the bottle in only a few seconds. He slammed it down on the table, not even looking the least bit unsteady. These monsters and their alcohol tolerance…
“here’s – hic! ” The lightest hiccup you’d ever heard interrupted him, but he tried to save face, anyway. “here’s somethin’ to get ya star – hic!– started.”
…
You only paused for a moment before you dissolved into a tirade of giggles, the laughter of the other monsters soon following.
Red sulked, blushing as dark as his namesake. “aw, for fu –hic!– ‘s sake! i don’t even have a diaphragm, how the hell can i even – hic!– aaarrghh!” Defeated, he pushed up from his chair and stomped over to the sink. He shoved his head under the faucet and started gulping down water straight from the tap.
You found it hard to stop your laughter after that, but you managed to get your answer out, at least. “As fun as that sounds, Red, I’m going to have to pass. Please tell me that you all are, too…” You turned back to the rest of the group, and they all gave their own votes ‘no’, which you were relieved to hear.
“WHAT IN TORIEL’S NAME IS GOING ON IN THERE, YOU MAGGOTS?!” You heard a growling, angry voice coming from the other room, and turned just in time to see Blackberry’s head pop into view from the doorframe. “I THOUGHT I ORDERED YOU ALL TO KEEP IT DOWN!”
You winced. You had completely forgotten about the noise level, and the tiny tyrant did not look happy in the slightest. Greaaat.
“Sorry about that, Black!” You called, shrugging apologetically. “Game night was getting a bit out of hand, so now we’re finding a new game to play where we can all get along. Do you want to help us?”
Black scoffed, striding in the room with Mutt trailing just behind him. “AS IF I WOULD WANT TO PARTAKE IN SUCH CHILDISH ACTIVITIES TO BEGIN WITH. THE VERY THOUGHT!”
“c’mon, blackberry, it’ll be fun. we just need to find a game we all agree on. you get to help in picking one out, too.” Stretch added, in the same way he would try to appease Blueberry at times. You sometimes forgot how similar these sets of brothers were to each other.
“if i may, m’lord…” Mutt spoke up softly, and Black turned to him with a scowl. “this game night might just be a good idea. after all, you could show the rest of them just how good you are at games, and just how badly you can beat them all when it’s all over.”
You could practically see the wheels turning in the smaller skeleton’s head, and his sockets widened with intrigue. After a beat, he finally gave a menacing smile, sharp teeth and all, as he addressed everyone else.
“VERY WELL. I’LL JOIN YOU CRETINS IN YOUR ‘GAME NIGHT’, AND YOU WILL TRULY KNOW THE MIGHT AND SKILL OF THE MALEVOLENT SANS!” He announced.
The rest of you were unfazed. Nothing you hadn’t seen before, after all…
“Yeah, sure thing.” You dismissed, while Mutt quickly pulled up a chair for Black to sit in. “So, we need some ideas for a game. What are you thinking?”
“WHY, MY DEAR, THE CHOICE IS OBVIOUS! WE SHALL PARTAKE IN AN OBSTACLE COURSE, FILLED WITH STRATEGICALLY-PLACED, DEADLY TRAPS OF MY OWN DESIGN!” Black practically bounced in his seat with excitement. “WHOEVER MAKES IT OUT FIRST… ALIVE …” He chuckled darkly. “WINS THE GAME.”
Mutt, in true fashion, nodded immediately. “excellent idea, m’lord.”
Everyone else seated, however, wasn’t moved in the slightest. A chorus of “nope’s” and “not happening’s” sounded throughout the table, and even Red joined in from across the room.
You expected it when Black’s temper flared. “ WHAT?! THIS IS A PERFECT ACTIVITY FOR YOU LOT! I WILL NOT BE SO CARELESSLY BRUSHED ASIDE LIKE THIS–!”
“Black, the rule was that everyone has to agree on a game, not just you and your brother.” You interrupted, desperate to calm the tension. “It has to be a majority vote, and sadly, your vote lost.”
“WHY YOU LITTLE–!” You appreciated it when Mutt placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder, holding him back from crawling across the table and strangling you. Black grumbled bitterly, glaring at you intently, but that you could live with.
Just when you thought you should give up and call the whole night off entirely to prevent any further upset, Sans piped up one last time, effectively shutting everyone up.
“what about ‘seven minutes in heaven’?”
You were sure that you could have heard a pin drop amidst the silence that blanketed the room for a solid moment. Almost simultaneously, every monster in the room turned their heads to look at you. And when the silence finally broke, it broke hard.
“oh hell yes.” Red grinned.
“i’m down.” Stretch shrugged.
“THAT DOESN’T SOUND SO BAD!” Blueberry hummed.
“I AGREE!” Papyrus nodded.
“I SUPPOSE THAT IS DOABLE.” Edge dismissed.
“yep.” Mutt approved.
“FINE, THEN.” Black muttered.
You, on the other hand, heard the warning sirens loud and clear. “ Wait! Wait a minute, wait a minute! I don’t agree to this at all!” You waved your hands in disapproval. “The hell even is this?!”
“it’s called a ‘majority vote’, darlin’, you should know full well what that is by now.” Mutt finally addressed you, shooting you with a teasing wink.
You gaped at them all, stunned into silence. You couldn’t believe that they had all just ganged up on you like that! What scared you the most was the way that they all went to stare at you just then, as if they knew what the game would entail.
Yeah, you would be totally screwed (pun hopefully not intended) if that were to happen.
After a solid moment where each skeleton was giving you expecting looks, not backing down in the slightest, you groaned loudly, throwing your hands in the air. This was not how you were planning this night to go down, at all .
“Fine! I’ll play the game, alright?” You relented. But before anyone made a move to start, you quickly added, “But because I know that I’m going to be the one this game focuses on – I mean, come on, I’m not that thick – I’m laying down some ground rules. I’m not budging on this!”
You were relieved when they at least gave you that, letting you have some time to talk. “Okay, first: nothing will take place without my consent, period. That means no unsolicited grabbing or groping, no forcing anything, and no outright…‘boning.’” Your face heated up dangerously at that last bit. Damn you being so easily flustered…
“Second, so everyone gets a turn, each of you will only go once. Seven minutes each, so it’s all fair.” You realized that those times alone would add up to almost an hour, so you reluctantly got that out of the way.
“Finally, if I get too uncomfortable or if things get too out of control, I’m backing out from the game entirely. Take this rule, or leave it.”
There was only a bit of silence that followed, before Red sat back down in his chair unceremoniously. He grumbled, “take all the fun out of it, why don'tcha…”
Each pair of brothers took a few moments to process all of this, before they all (some reluctantly) gave affirmatives. You let out a sigh. At least nothing would get too out of hand.
“oh, but let us have one rule too, hon, that way we all get a say.” Stretch rose his hand, not even trying to conceal a smile. “if the rest of us don’t hear anything going on in the closet, we’ll stop the timer until we do. can’t get away with doing nothing, now, right?”
You ground your teeth together. You were banking on exploiting that loophole the entire time. There goes that chance…
“Alright,” you contested after a pause, knowing that they wouldn’t let you back out at this point. You rose up from the table, sliding your chair back grumpily. “So how’re we going to start?”
“WE CAN HAVE YOU DRAW NAMES OUT OF A HAT!” Papyrus quickly said. You had a feeling he did that so that no one could call dibs and fight over it. You wouldn’t put it past some of them… “THAT WAY, IT’LL BE RANDOM, BUT FAIR.”
You didn’t see anything wrong with that, especially after you caught a glimpse of Red sulking down his chair after you agreed.
It took a few minutes to even find a hat – a random baseball cap Sans had to fish out of his room’s trash tornado – and have everyone write their names on slips of paper to put inside. But once that was all out of the way, the hat was shoved into your hands eagerly by the skeletal group.
You didn’t like the way that most of them were fidgeting in anticipation, but what could you do at this point?
Praying to be let off easy, you dug your hand in the hat and fished around for a few seconds, mixing the papers up properly.
Testing your luck, you grabbed a random slip and pulled it out of the hat before you could second-guess yourself.