Work Text:
"Remind me again why I have to be the one doing this?" Namjoon took the file from Nara with only a slight whine in his voice. He had just walked into work, at 11 because well, he could. And immediately he had been tailed by a frantic looking Nara, holding the file she handed him as soon as he sat down at his desk. He didn't want to be sitting at this desk in the first place. He'd much rather have gone to the studio directly. Been where the music was. But that's where getting up late had cost him. Even before he'd had a chance to get breakfast there had been a text from Hobi saying he was already at the studio. Sneak.
"Because Hoseok-ssi is at the studio today and someone has to carry out the interviews" Nara was one hundred percent done with both of their shit. She was the real reason anything got done around here, with both the co-founders of the label skiving off work to each other. Unless it was about the music and performances. Then they were at each other's throats to snatch work to do. Namjoon decided to be a good sport about this, only for Nara. He was going to give Hobi hell later.
"Ugh fine. Send them, but please coffee first" Nara looked like her entire day had been made as she rushed out. Namjoon heard her tell his PA that he'd asked for coffee. Namjoon stretched and took off his blazer. This was about to be a drag, might as well be comfortable. He swiveled his chair around to look at the Seoul skyline from the glass wall behind him. He'd made such a fuss to get this office and not the one Hobi had now. Because along with the skyline, this side of the building gave him a view of the river and Namjoon loved the river. Funny how he'd made such a fuss and now every day he had to spend in the office frustrated him. Maybe he could wrap up early today and walk by the river.
What Nara had neglected to mention when she handed him the file full of resumes was that she was about to block out his entire afternoon with this bullshit. Only when the first candidate had walked in and Namjoon flipped the file open did he realize how tall the stack of resumes was. It was a good thing Namjoon wasn't exactly opposed to interacting with other humans, unlike some people he knew. And all these candidates had passed all of HR's recruitment steps already so Namjoon's interviews with them were just glorified vibe checks. For the junior positions, he didn't put in much effort. Made small talk, asked them about their music tastes general view of the industry and then let them go. He only somewhat grilled the more senior position candidates. Dug into them with more serious questions, argued when their answers were not what he was looking for. It was here that Namjoon rejected some candidates. One who blatantly said that he was uninterested in bringing innovation to girl group music. Another one who believed keeping trainees in the worst conditions had been happening in the industry for so long because it was effective and made them resilient. Either these people had not done their research on him before coming to work for him or they were actually proud of these dogmatic opinions they had. In any case, Namjoon didn't think there was a place for them at Cypher Records. It was 3 pm when Namjoon decided he had had enough.
"I'm going out to lunch, don't expect me back before 5" He told Nara, who had taken over his PA's desk for the day, coordinating the interviews.
"But you only have one left Namjoon-ssi" Nara objected, getting out of her seat. "And he's about to get here"
"Reschedule it. Give him lunch on the house or something if he gets here" It wasn't that Namjoon was a fan of making Nara's life harder, which he was definitely doing as he gave her his back and all but sprinted out of the management wing of the building. He just didn't do well with being cooped up in his office, no matter what the task. The studio was another matter. He could spend hours in his studio, immersed in music, and not get bored. With a renewed sense of irritation at Hobi, he realized he didn't have time to visit the studio today. Their studio building was not part of the main label offices, something Namjoon couldn't wait to rectify.
He didn't feel like eating alone though, so Namjoon sent out a quick text as he took the elevator down. Luckily, he got an affirmative reply as he got off on the concept floor. "Hyung!" Taehyung's head peeped out of a conference room before Namjoon even had both feet out on the floor. He disappeared after making his position known and Namjoon went over to the room. "We were just about to eat" Taehyung beamed at him as the door closed behind him. His entire team seemed to be here, and they all waved and bowed at him, depending on their seniority. Taehyung's immediate team that was, his entire team would actually be the entire concept department. They had the whole floor to themselves.
"Aren't you not supposed to eat in here?" Namjoon asked even as he sat down at the table, rolling his sleeves up. The team froze, many of them mid-bite. But Namjoon was never good at pranks and keeping a straight face. He waved them off, grabbing a box of takeaway noodles. "Relax, I'm not Hobi" Taehyung snorted.
"Oh we know. We have a policy to send out red alerts if Hobi hyung ever comes this way. Lots here he won't like" That was true. The conference room was a mess. There were papers on the floor, shoes toed off carelessly, piles of snacks in the corner of the room. Namjoon was certain the team was permanently camped here these days.
"So, it's going well then?" Namjoon asked, motioning over to the smart screen, that was showing a concept board of one of their biggest artists, Jungkook. Taehyung nodded, mouth full of food, glancing back at the screen. Namjoon had a particular interest with the concept team. He had found Taehyung and together they had built this team. While Hobi loved spending extra time with the performance and choreo team, Namjoon liked this. Planning out concepts, story lines and aesthetics for his artists. Him and Tae together tended to go off on wild tangents and then the team scrambled to make their fantastical visions come to reality. Namjoon was pretty sure they cursed him every night before bed.
"Almost all our ideas from last week are here. This is like a mini comeback instead of a Christmas concept at this point but worth it" Namjoon nodded, eyes still taking in the board. Last week, was when him and Tae had gone out to drinks after work and had gone on a drunken brainstorming session about Jungkook's concept for the Christmas and Year End Shows. Apparently inebriated them had outdone their sober selves.
"Good work everyone" He smiled around the room and then changed the topic not wanting the team to think about work as they ate. Despite the crazy amount of work, Christmas was a great time at the label. Namjoon stopped talking mid-way through the meal in favor of observing the team. He was sure they had been having continuous long nights and had another one ahead of them, but they all were bustling with energy. Excitedly chatting about how their concepts were going to play out, how their families were already excited about Twice's Christmas stage. How everyone was looking forward to the New Year's Party. Suddenly Namjoon didn't feel so bad about being on vibe checking duty today. He picked good people and a label was only as good as the people working there. He wrapped up lunch, telling the team that he was looking forward to seeing the finished concepts and thanking them for lunch.
"No biggie Hyung. Come hang with us whenever Hobi Hyung abandons you here. We're better company than Nara and her minions" Taehyung added cheekily making Namjoon laugh as he took his leave.
Well better get this last interview out of the way. Namjoon felt entirely too drained to go to the studio this late. He'd work on clearing his backlog of emails for the rest of today then. Might as well see this boring, drab day to the end. Nara stood up immediately as she saw him step off the elevator.
"It's 5:15 Oppa!" The fact that she had dropped the Namjoon-ssi was proof enough that she was big mad at him. He looked at his watch in genuine surprise. He'd not meant to be late, but he lost track of time on the concept floor often.
"Sorry Nara. Send him in, I'll apologize to him too" He rushed inside the office before the ticking Nara-bomb went off. Namjoon had barely sat down and poured himself a glass of water before he heard the door open after a knock. "Ah please come in, I am so very sorr-" The words died on Namjoon's lips as the glass in his hand shook and almost slipped out. It didn't fall thankfully and Namjoon set it down on the table gingerly. Stood before him, was... a ghost from a past life. That was the first selfish thought that came into Namjoon's mind as he stared at the man before him. "Eric?" The man nodded and smiled a tight smile at him, still hovering by the door. Namjoon snapped out of his shock when he saw him fidget, shifting weight from one foot to another. "Come in have a seat" Now that he looked at the resume carefully, sure as day the name on top was Im Eric. Served him right not paying attention to the task at hand. Eric took a seat in front of him. "How have you been man?" Namjoon asked him, taking the opportunity to take in the appearance of the man. Eric looked...old. He was. They were both much, much older than 19 which was when they had last seen each other. But while Namjoon looked older, Eric looked old. His hair was salt and pepper already, skin wrinkling slightly. His eyes had somewhat lost the sparkle in them. The fire, that Namjoon remembered so so vividly.
"I've been alright" Eric said evenly. His eyes were taking in the office. Namjoon glanced down at the annotations on his resume. He was in for the position of Manager New Talent. Huh.
"So, what makes you apply to Cypher?" Eric seemed to stiffen at the question, even if it was one of the standard ones that Namjoon had asked every single person today. Namjoon waited, leaned back in his chair, and picked his drink of water back up.
"You mean what has made me sell out?" Nothing seemed to have changed. The things that had divided them way back one still set them apart it seemed. Eric had taken the question personally even when Namjoon hadn't meant it that way. He didn't correct the other though, a petty part of him wanting to see where this went. "Realizing I have anguished in pathetic circumstances enough. I'm 28 now. I want some stability in life" Namjoon nodded at him. Went back to his resume. There was no previous label experience here. Eric had started to work in talent management on his own, some 5 years back. 2 years after they had parted ways.
"I asked you why you chose Cypher. Why do you want to work for us?" There was no mention of any music that Eric had put out on the portfolio. Namjoon hadn't heard of any big releases but he had been busy, it wouldn't have surprised him if there had been any and he'd missed them.
"Because out of all the labels out there, your approach to handling trainees is the best. I mean that's like being the best of the worst, which isn't much" Namjoon arched an eyebrow at him, looking up. Was he really about to take the piss out of their Trainee Program? Him and Hobi had designed the program themselves.
"What is wrong with our trainee program?" Eric had a smug look on his face, which Namjoon knew well. But while it had always irritated him a little, it felt particularly insulting right now.
"Many things. I like how they have more artistic freedom than most trainees get but their launches can be much more powerful. Have more impact, skyrocket them"
"I'm assuming you have big plans to execute all these powerful schemes?" Eric held his gaze easily. His eyes flicked down briefly to Namjoon's watch.
"Yes. I can double this Trainee Program's returns. Make superstars out of all of them" Same old. Same old values. Namjoon averted his gaze back to the resume but he wasn't reading. The way he saw it, he had two options. One, he could reject Eric, which was the obvious choice here what with his clear mismatch with the company's vision. But the kind of person Eric was, the chances of him running his mouth to the press and making a scandal out of this were too high. He could hire him and maybe, just maybe he could be good for the trainees. The less risky option was clear here. And yet Namjoon's gut was screaming at him to turn the man away. Well, his gut was probably biased so he decided just this once to ignore it. Namjoon flipped the file shut.
"In that case. Welcome to the team Eric" He extended a hand and managed to hide his annoyance when Eric shook it with the same smug look, like he'd tricked Namjoon into hiring him or something.
"It's already quite late, fancy getting a drink?" Eric said as he shrugged his coat on. It was 5:45. Namjoon could technically work for an hour more, get to those emails. But he felt off kelter as it was, and he wasn't sure he'd be of much use. Which is how he found himself in a bar with a man he hadn't really known in 7 years. The bar was done up in brilliant Christmas decorations already even though it was only early December. Tinsel, fairy lights and stockings lined the wall behind the bar. Namjoon ordered an entirely too expensive scotch, and Eric quickly followed his lead. Namjoon already knew he was about to be the one paying, but it's not like he minded. They talked about nothing and everything for a few drinks. Eric was single, had indeed put some music out that Namjoon had missed out on, and then had taken to managing young talent when he couldn't find inspiration for music anymore. "Seoul man. Sucks the inspiration right out of you" Eric didn't even look to see if Namjoon would dispute that. And he did, Namjoon loved Seoul. As much as it was possible to love such a complicated city. But he did find himself inspired by it often. Maybe he lived in a different Seoul. No, his brain was quick to dismiss. He had lived in the same Seoul as Eric too for many years and that had inspired him plenty. Eric had apparently not stopped talking in the entire time Namjoon had mulled over this point. "So, I don't think you regret your choice. You're doing...well" The pause before 'well' had definitely been loaded. It was bait that Namjoon did not take.
"Yes. I'm satisfied with where life has taken me" He replied, shrugging.
"That's the bullshit answer you've been giving magazines" Eric chuckled. He was apparently not used to this expensive liquor, his inhibitions already lost after a few drinks.
"I don't know what you're talking about, it's true" Eric stopped his chuckling to fix him with a gaze surprisingly sharp for his inebriated state.
"It's true. You're satisfied with being exactly what you claimed to despise?"
"What do you mean?" Namjoon suddenly wanted no part of this conversation. This had been a weird, tiring day and it had messed with his head.
"You've spent the better part of your career crooning on and on about love and self-love and whatever bullshit. Only to what? Make quick money and become a top exec who does exactly what other execs do" Did this man not know he was talking to his literal boss, Namjoon thought. And then felt bad for thinking that. Had he really gotten so used to everyone agreeing with him and respecting him he couldn't take some criticism? No matter how fucking rude.
"I do exactly what other label execs do? If that were true you wouldn't be here" He replied, satisfied with how calm he sounded.
"You might have more music sense than those senile dinosaurs but you're not better than them. I would know, I have waited in enough lobbies waiting for an audience with the lords of music" That felt like a slap to his face, and Namjoon imagined how pleased with herself Nara would be right now. That had been on him. But that didn't make him like other music executives surely. And that was exactly what he wanted to argue but Eric seemed dangerously close to passing out. So Namjoon swallowed his indignation and called the dude a cab. Now that they were going to be working together, Namjoon imagined the opportunity to argue would present itself in due course.
The apartment was dead silent when Namjoon entered it. It wasn't that late, barely past 11. But Namjoon already felt bone tired. He passed the empty Christmas tree in the living room, undecorated. Monie was sound asleep in his bed, set under the tree. Never in a million years would the Namjoon that hung out with Eric could have imagined he'd one day get to live in a penthouse loft. In one of the most expensive residential schemes in Gangnam. He would not have been able to digest the fact that Namjoon had been driven here in a Hyundai. That he had multiple platinum records to his name, had travelled the world and performed in stadiums. What was there to not be satisfied about? It was bullshit. Not the music Namjoon had written but what Eric had been on about. He should know better than to dwell over it, he scolded himself as he fell into his bed, shamelessly having skipped a shower.
*********************
When the alarm began blaring into Namjoon's ear, it felt like he had just closed his eyes. His arms felt like they were made of lead when he tried to move them to slide the damn thing shut. He was much much warmer waking up than he had been going to sleep, he realized. Even without opening his eyes Namjoon could feel there were arms around him, and a line of insulation pressed to his back. He smiled despite feeling like death. Fuck that expensive scotch, he should stick to beer. His head was pounding but he had to be early today. He wouldn't put it past Hobi to pull the same shit from yesterday. Bastard had no honor. But the pillow was so inviting, just calling him to nuzzle into it for half an hour more. Making matters worse were the arms that tightened around him, their owner whimpering and pulling him closer like Namjoon was an overgrown plush toy. Maybe sleeping in and just going to the label won't be so bad. Namjoon closed his eyes (they were already closed, but mentally they were open) and was about to drift back when his brain supplied him with the memory of why he had decided to drink scotch on a weeknight anyway. Nope. Suddenly Namjoon was wide awake. Horrible things happened when you went to the label, he was safe in the studios. He even physically opened his eyes, determined to escape the clutches of sleep and the very real clutches of the person behind him. With a painful sounding pop of his shoulder Namjoon turned over and onto his back. This disturbed the entire arrangement, and his bedmate was very, very cross about this.
"Quit squirming" He received a weak swat to his chest. Namjoon looked down into his boyfriend's sleep swollen face and instantly he felt marginally better.
"Not squirming. Waking up" He sounded hoarse and more like a frog than human even to himself. He really didn't want to get up at fucking 7 am. Or 7:20 as their wall clock was showing. Shit, he was going to lose to Hobi again if he didn't hurry.
"Why?" When Namjoon looked back down, there were barely open eyes staring up at him blearily. The early morning sun was filtering into the room through their light curtains and reflecting off his boyfriend's shiny hair. He looked adorable, like he always did when waking up. All pouty and flushed red.
"Because if I don't hurry then Hobi will get to the studios before me and send me to the label" Even in his barely awake state Seokjin had the motor functions to roll his eyes.
"When will you guys grow up?" He huffed, rubbing his face against Namjoon's arm a little. His own arms were still wrapped around Namjoon's torso.
"You're one to talk" Namjoon sighed, making Seokjin chuckle lightly. They stayed silent and still for long enough for Namjoon's eyelids to start feeling heavy again, but he jerked himself awake. "No. I have to go. Can't take another day at the label" He pushed himself up onto one elbow, ignoring the very convincingly heartbreaking whimpers from Seokjin.
"So rude" Seokjin huffed, turning over to his other side and pulling the covers up on his body.
"Rude?" Namjoon asked, rubbing his face and sitting up.
"Late yesterday, leaving early today" Ah that made sense. Namjoon fell back on one elbow and kissed his boyfriend's shoulder as a peace offering.
"Yeah, sorry about that. Something came up" Seokjin pfft-ed, not turning back. Namjoon glanced at the clock. 7:35. Fuck. "Hey" He grabbed the shoulder he had just kissed and turned Seokjin over. He glared at Namjoon, frowning(pouting). "I'll come back early today." They stared at each other for a beat, big, brown orbs glaring at him until they softened.
"Promise?" Namjoon held a pinky up and Seokjin smiled a little as he intertwined his with it. When he took his pinky away, Seokjin put his hand over Namjoon's cheek. "Fine then. Kiss me and go" Namjoon was more than happy to oblige as he leaned down to peck the still pouting lips. Seokjin pushed him away entirely too soon, but that was probably for the best. "Go beat Hobi" Namjoon placed a final kiss to Seokjin's forehead before leaving the bed. 7:45. Super-fast shower it will have to be. When Namjoon came back into the room for the last time to get his wallet and phone, Seokjin had rolled over to his side of the bed and was already asleep, face mushed into his pillow.
The great sacrifice on his and Seokjin's part seemed to have paid off as when Namjoon got to the studio at 8:30, Jung Hoseok was nowhere to be found. He sent a proud gloating text, similar to the one he'd received yesterday, very very pleased with himself. The studio was all done up in Christmas garb, something the label offices were yet to do. As Namjoon wandered around with his first cup of coffee, stopping and chatting with the few people already there he couldn't help feeling a little warm and fuzzy at the decorations, the trees and the Secret Santa announcements put up around here and there. He wondered if it was too late to sign himself up too. Work hadn't started even by the time Namjoon was done with the coffee so he wandered into his own studio. RKive, arguably his favorite place to be ever. Not so much lately, he quite loved being home these days. With another coffee warming him up, Namjoon began pulling up old half-finished tracks. It had been 2 years since Mono. A lot of time to accumulate half-finished melodies. The ones he finished he kept giving off to artists in the label. He playlisted all the half-done tracks and sat back letting them flow through him. I'm not bad at this, he thought as one particular track caught him. Made him stop the playlist and loop it. It was a slow track, a lot of arrangement. It was begging for words. Namjoon didn't even think this needed much work on the melody itself. Not from him anyway. He went back to the playlist but already his brain was trying to think of rhymes. Sighing, he went back to the track and bit his lip while he was at it. I could work on it, Namjoon pondered. Give it to Jungkook or someone. Or you could write it for yourself, his brain supplied unhelpfully. The clock was showing 10:30. He had to get to work. Eventually his mind settled on a middle ground. He attached the track to an email that he shot off to Yoongi. The track surely needed a wow factor that Min PD could provide. He'd see what to do with it when it came back.
"Hey boys" The voice was loud enough to reach them through their headphones. Namjoon had barely pushed his off before the entirety of Jung Hoseok was seated at the space beside the recording equipment.
"Hey Hyung" Jungkook chimed from beside Namjoon and as he regarded the intruder.
"What are you doing here? Go back to the office" Hobi was dressed to the T, like he always was. Street wear but make it high end. Like, high end. He had matching, over the top white rimmed sunglasses pushed up into his hair that only he could pull off. He had a bag slung over a shoulder that was transparent. He scowled down at Namjoon from his perch.
"I was here to take my husband out to lunch but even that you managed to ruin for me" Namjoon sat back and stretched. Maybe they should get lunch too. He had walked in here as Jungkook worked on his tracks and then... hadn't left. They'd gotten loads done though, Namjoon was feeling AccomplishedTM.
"What does Yoongi Hyung's lunch have to do with me?" Hobi sighed, sitting down fully against the glass wall of the recording booth.
"You sent him a track in the morning? He opened it just as I got here and surprise surprise he is obsessed. Says he needs to figure one thing out and then it'll be perfect" Oh. He was going to receive the finished track sooner than he expected. That was... good. It was good. He'd have to figure out what to do with it sooner, but it was fine.
"You're working on a song Hyung? Is this a Christmas miracle?" Jungkook looked at him with his big, excited eyes, the interest in them genuine. Namjoon felt his neck grow hot and rubbed it sub consciously.
"Ahh don't get your hopes up, I just wanted to polish it. Maybe you can take it" But Jungkook was already shaking his head.
"No Hyung you write it. I have an album full of tracks already. It's been ages, the world needs a new RM track"
"That is true" Hobi agreed before Namjoon could get a word in edgewise. "Besides, you better work on it now that you're making me miss my lunch for it"
"Oh please. You deserve to miss lunch after abandoning me yesterday. Do you know who I met?" Hoseok nodded, his annoyed expression morphing into something amused and curious.
"Ahan. Nara gave me the rundown. Told me you went out to drinks with him. Socializing with the enemy huh?" Jungkook was looking between them, at a loss for what exactly was going on.
"Shut up" Namjoon grumbled and Hoseok rolled with laughter.
He was almost home safe. Quite literally. Namjoon had been standing peacefully in the lobby, waiting for his car to come and take him home when he heard his name being called. He knew the owner of the voice all too well as he turned around to face him. No one else would have called him 'Rap Monster'. Even the receptionist eyed Eric weirdly.
"Hey Eric. Shouldn't you be at the label? Doing managerial things?" He kept his tone light, even plastered a fake smile on his face. Eric shrugged, pulling his bag over his shoulder. Looked like he was done for the day as well.
"I figured I'd tour the studios too. I'm sure I'll be here quite often" Namjoon couldn't see why the Manager for New Talent would be at the studio often but he decided not to prolong the conversation. "Let's catch some drinks what do you say? Yesterday was fun. I saw Hobi around here somewhere, can call him too" Namjoon doubted Hobi would be at all enthused at suffering the way he had last night at drinks. For a second he contemplated tricking Hobi into coming anf then bailing on him. But he quickly decided against it. He wasn't a monster. Unlike Hobi.
"Sorry can't tonight. I have to be home" Eric regarded him with an amused expression.
"It's just home. What's the rush?" Namjoon hated the way his cheeks were heating up. God how long before this stopped?
"I umm have someone waiting. At home" Eric's expression hardened at this, for reasons he couldn't quite figure out.
"Ah. How could I forget. You probably call some big fancy penthouse home now huh? Places like those are seldom empty" Before Namjoon could even voice out a 'what the hell' or seriously ponder the insinuation behind the words, Eric had walked out on him.
*********************
"How many more?" The whiny tone in his voice was not even slightly veiled as Namjoon walked out of the store after Seokjin. He noted with disdain how Seokjin was only holding 3 bags under the excuse of using his other hand to look at their list. While Namjoon got stuck with holding about 15. 15 bags of gifts. 15. Bags. Namjoon felt like they had been at the Duty Free forever.
"I'm checking" Seokjin said not looking at him, eyes glued to his phone as he scanned the list. Namjoon shifted some bags from his left hand to the right trying to balance them out.
"Every single thing here we could've ordered online" Namjoon grumbled as Seokjin began walking towards a destination he was not privy to.
"What if the wrong shit turned up? We'd not have time to return it" Seokjin was looking around and then bee lined to the floor map, apparently lost. Great.
"Please don't say things my dad says. What's next you're going to start believing technology is a grand scheme to break up our family-based society?" Seokjin turned around to face him finally, a supremely annoyed expression on his face. He crossed his arms, because he could as he was holding only 3 bags!
"Why are you being so crabby? Are you hungry?" The audacity. These pretty people thought they could get away with everything.
"I am hungry. But I'm not being crabby I'm tired. I came straight from work" He huffed and the frown on Seokjin's face slipped. He bit his lip and then sighed.
"Let's go then. We're done" Done? Namjoon looked at his pouting boyfriend, confused.
"Why were you checking the floor map then?" Seokjin shook his head, turning his back on the map. Namjoon noted how the wall behind the floor map was covered in a full length of advertisement with Seokjin's face. All made up and pouting seductively, it was an ad for some makeup brand. The same face pouty face stood in front of him, completely not seductive and it made Namjoon chuckle. "Come on. What's left?" Seokjin mumbled something that didn't reach Namjoon over the blaring Christmas music. It being holiday season was the only reason they'd made it through the shopping spree uninterrupted. Otherwise, any public outing turned into a dodge the fans adventure. Maybe this is why Seokjin had wanted to shop in person so badly, it was one of the only times of the year when they could. "Sorry?" Namjoon leaned in closer. He'd be mad at the loud music, but he was sure this was Jungkook crooning through the speakers. His last Christmas's surprise release.
"Pajamas" See this is why Namjoon could never stay even slightly mad at Seokjin. Not even a little. The man was entirely too sweet and cute at all times. Namjoon felt all his irritation ebb away as if by magic.
"Well we have to get pajamas" Seokjin looked at him with the same pout, his eyes a little furious. He knew it was harmless though. When Seokjin was actually angry, you couldn't miss it.
"Stop making fun of me. Let's go home" He made to walk off but Namjoon blocked him. It would have been nicer to hold his hand or something, but he had 15 bags in his hands so the best he could do was waddle into Seokjin's path and stop him.
"I'm not making fun of you. We've gotten all this stuff for others why leave without getting something for us" Seokjin looked at him for a moment. Namjoon nudged him, in what he hoped was an encouraging way. Another moment and then Seokjin smiled. His pursed lipped smile that made his cheeks puff out.
"It won't take long, I know where the shop is" He pulled Namjoon along, who really was a smitten fool as he forgot to even complain about the many bags in the hand he was pulling on.
That night, Namjoon found it hard to fall asleep. He had a book in his lap, staring out the window at the cloudy sky. They had a huge window, making up almost an entire wall. Seokjin had fallen asleep a long time ago. Despite having whined at length about being tired, Namjoon couldn't fall asleep. Seokjin had edged closer and closer and now had his nose mushed into Namjoon's thigh. He was wearing the pajamas. Black silk, with his name monogrammed on the pocket. Namjoon had gotten a pair too, matching. They were supposed to wear them on Christmas but Seokjin hadn't been able to wait. It was starting to feel like Christmas now, with the gift shopping. They had to decorate the tree and hang up the lights tomorrow. Then wrap the stuff up and send it out. They'd already spent the kind of money that could cover old Namjoon's rent, on these presents. Way to give in to the throes of capitalism. But he liked gift giving, always had. And now he could actually afford to do it. Was that why he was so satisfied with his life, despite having changed its course so drastically? Namjoon found himself thinking back. Back to when he'd made that decision. They had all been scouted together. Him, Hobi, Yoongi and Eric. From the underground rap clubs. Offered big contracts by BigHit. But the catch was that they were going to be idols. Yes, it would be a rap band, but they'd have to partake in the idol culture. Eric had said no outright. Namjoon had been the first to agree, Hobi following. Yoongi had been a tough nut to crack but even back then, where Hobi went Yoongi was bound to follow. Eric had called them sellouts. They'd sold themselves and their talent. He apparently also thought they'd sold their values. After the first two albums, Cypher's music was less about bringing down the establishment and more about self-love. Namjoon had been the driving force behind that change, his lyrics on the topic simply too good to not put out. If that had been so bad, then how had it done so much good? Namjoon thought of all the fans that had reached out to them over the years, sitting comfortably in his soft bed in the huge apartment. Seokjin squirmed a little, scratching his nape. He'd helped a lot of people. Or so he got told often. Was that not revolution in itself? Just because it had also made him rich and able to indulge in fancy things. Namjoon remembered how him and Hobi would go window shopping before being signed to BigHit sometimes. How Hobi would stare at the shoes longingly, and Namjoon would imagine himself wearing those watches. He'd liked fancy shit back then too. He'd not admitted it, because he couldn't afford them. Seokjin squirmed again, whimpering slightly. Namjoon looked down to see him scratching again. He'd made the skin at his nape red. Namjoon held his hand away and saw it was the pajama tag, that was irritating him. Namjoon caught and pulled it off with a snap. Seokjin had woken up, barely, opening his eyes. Namjoon held the tag for him to see.
"Ah. Thanks baby" Seokjin smiled and went back to nosing at his leg. Within seconds he was asleep again. Yeah, it was true. Namjoon liked fancy things and he'd grown to love this particular fancy thing a lot. If that made him a hypocrite there wasn't much to do about it.
*********************
Namjoon woke up surprisingly fresh and early for how late he'd gone to bed. It was always a revelation what pattern of limbs they woke up in. Which was always Seokjin's fault, Namjoon slept like a corpse, unmoving for the most part. Not that he'd ever concede that. This morning he woke up the back of Seokjin's head, faced away from him. He was on his stomach, hands slipped under his pillow. Namjoon was suddenly grasped with a sudden mad desire to see his face. Strong enough to push him out of bed. He pulled a cardigan on top of his pajamas (not the fancy black ones, he would not wear those before Christmas) and walked around the bed. He sat down at the desk, in front of their big window and marveled at the sight. Worth getting out of bed. Seokjin was completely still (for once), still in deep sleep. He was a champion sleeper. His personal record was 16 hours, a day where Namjoon had left him asleep and come home to him having 'breakfast'. Namjoon sat riveted by the perfection of Seokjin's features. The way his eyelashes rested against his cheeks, cheeks that blushed a light pink even when he slept. To think the entire country had seen Top Model Kim Seokjin in countless campaigns and advertisements but few saw him this bare and ethereal looking. And he had a beautiful soul to match too. Not for the first time Namjoon wondered how he was real. He had absent mindedly picked a pen up from the desk. He looked down at it, and the pad of paper. As if possessed by a spirit, Namjoon fetched his ear pods and in no time his brand new, Min PD approved track was playing in his ears. He looked back at Seokjin, and in the privacy and quiet of the morning he let himself feel. And write. Not caring who he was writing for, because he was writing for was not awake yet. After years, the words were flowing out of him in a way that felt draining. Like he was spilling lifeblood onto a page. Like he was writing from his heart. All of his best songs, he'd written in a single sitting. Genius didn't require revision. And this was turning more and more into a stroke of genius as Namjoon played the track in his ears and the million memories of Seokjin in his mind. It wasn't a ballad, he realized after he'd written it. It was soft rap. The kind he himself would record best. It was like the universe was hell bent on him seeing this to the end.
"Are you painting me like one of your French girls?" The nasally voice reached him via the one ear he didn't have his ear pod in. Namjoon looked up to find Seokjin's eyes open and gazing at him with warmth. He smiled back, setting his pen down. He'd written a song on a random December morning, and it might have been his best yet.
"Does painting with my words count?" Seokjin retracted his arms from under the pillow and sat up.
"Mhm" He stretched, arms over his head, a silly smile on his lips still. This wake-up face was the reason they were together in the first place. It had been just another super model Namjoon had gone home with. Not the first, he was RM of Cypher. Superstar of the nation, a generation leader. Fresh off his latest stadium tour. People had been dying to sleep with him and their new contract now allowed him to do it. It was supposed to be just another one-night stand. Except this super model had woken up like this and Namjoon had been dumbstruck. And had asked him to stay for breakfast. And asked him out. "Aish you're looking at me like that again" Namjoon averted his gaze back to his notebook, even as his cheeks blushed at being called out.
"Like what?"
"Like you're in love with me" He heard Seokjin sigh. He didn't doubt that. "Oooh Joonie look it's snowing" Namjoon turned to the window he had his back to, and sure enough there were snowflakes drifting past the glass. A blanket wrapped around him as Seokjin climbed into his lap with practiced ease. He took the time to bundle them up, eyes still set on the snow. When he stilled, Namjoon set his head in the crook of Seokjin's neck. Seokjin hmmed in a pleased way, squeezing him a little. "Can I read?" Namjoon flipped the notebook shut at lightning speed, making Seokjin giggle. "Rude" He chided, and they went back to staring at the snow.
"How can you not like winter when it's so pretty?" Seokjin set his chin in Namjoon's hair.
"Because it makes my knees hurt. But I suppose it has its moments"
*********************
"Now it feels like Christmas"
"Yes. Seeing your annoying face is what makes it feel like Christmas"
"Excuse you, my face is excellent" Seokjin leaned in to envelop Yoongi in a hug as Hobi swatted Namjoon on his arm. They quickly made their way into the couple's house, where the chatter of guests talking was already loud. Why they chose to live in a house in the damn suburbs, 45 minutes away from the label offices was beyond Namjoon. He'd been asked the question a million times, by friends and journalists alike if he felt left out because his 2 bandmates had married each other. If he blamed them for their disbandment. Namjoon had given a million answers. Love is love. Love trumps touring. They all still worked together, had started a label. The honest truth was that Hobi and Yoongi had been sickly in love from before they were even signed at BigHit. They just hadn't known it. But Namjoon had known and it had been not even mildly surprising when they 'announced' to him that they were together. He'd actually laughed in their faces when they tried to break the news to him.
"Can I go see the little prince Hobi?" Seokjin asked, as they toed their shoes off and slipped into house slippers. Hobi gave him an OK from over his wine glass and Seokjin beamed at everyone before bounding up the stairs. Namjoon followed the hosts into the main party area. Hobi spotted someone and wandered off while Yoongi took Namjoon to the bar.
"I got your lyrics" By lyrics he meant the hastily taken picture of the notebook Namjoon had sent him. "And I cannot believe you wrote those randomly on a Sunday morning. But I've long since stopped questioning your genius" Namjoon accepted the scotch with a pleased smile on his face.
"Thanks, Hyung" Yoongi regarded him and then broke into his familiar wide smile.
"I've booked you in for recording on Monday" Namjoon choked on his sip and Yoongi thumped him, clearly pleased with himself. "You have to record it Namjoon-ah. You and your muse deserve this song" Namjoon was saved the trouble of answering by the sudden appearance of Taehyung. And behind him Seokjin, who was holding a bundle of baby blankets in his arms.
"He was up so I brought him down. I hope that was okay Yoongi-chi?" Kai was indeed awake, his two-month-old eyes looking everywhere in curiosity. Taehyung cooed at him, bending down so that he had eyes for him.
"Yeah yeah, someone would have had to go get him anyway if he was up"
It was a big party. There was an elaborate buffet, and you could eat wherever. Namjoon caught Hobi grimacing when people set their plates in dangerous positions more than once. The Sope parties, as they were fondly called were always fun. Everyone they invited, Namjoon knew and wanted to catch up with. So, he spent the evening, eating as he stood up. Which meant he ate a lot more than he should have but didn't feel full. He was warm with the food, and the booze and was enjoying himself a lot. As the night went on, Namjoon found himself in the balcony with Hobi and one of their old BigHit managers. They talked of old times, Hobi laughing so hard there was danger of him toppling to his death.
"Ooof it's midnight. I should get going boys. Always a pleasure Hobi" Hobi waved the man off and he stepped inside. They watched as he went up to Yoongi to tell him goodbye as well. Yoongi was sitting on the couch, Taehyung beside him. He had his head on Seokjin's shoulder who was talking to some lady Namjoon's drunk brain couldn't place. Kai was still in his lap, lying down. Every few minutes a fist would appear above the nest of blankets.
"Hasn't put him down all evening" Hobi pointed out. Namjoon had noticed. Kai got taken by many guests who cuddled and cooed at him, but he'd always found his way back to Seokjin. "Have you guys talked? About getting one of these?" Namjoon nodded, eyes set on Seokjin. He looked down and held a finger for Kai to hold. His eyes crinkled prettily as he smiled when a tiny fist closed around his pinky. "So then? What's the hold up?" Namjoon sighed. Leaned back and stared up at the sky.
"I just. Doesn't it feel like retirement? Marriage and parenthood" He knew Hobi wouldn't get offended. They knew each other too well for that.
"Sometimes. Your priorities certainly change" The sky was covered in clouds. They might get snow again.
"I can't help but feel like it's too soon. We were all we're going to change the world, dismantle the system. Looking at us now. Have we done enough?" Hobi scoffed, making Namjoon look to him. He looked soberer already. Even if his cheeks were still flushed.
"Not done enough? Namjoon you've written verses people quote in essays. Sponsored art they put up in museums. Most importantly, our music has given millions hope when they had none. I'd say we've done plenty" That was true. Namjoon mulled it over, swirling his scotch.
"There's still more to do"
"There will always be more to do. You'd be 30 and still fell like this. That's no reason to overlook things that matter right now" They heard laughter and saw a small group of people had gathered around Seokjin and Kai. Taehyung was pulling faces at the kid and making him giggle. Things that matter, Namjoon echoed as his eyes found Seokjin who chose that moment to look up and smile at him.
*********************
"Aish why is this so tall?" Namjoon watched with some amusement as Seokjin reached up on tiptoes to put the star on top of their Christmas tree. It had a picture of their dog on it, because Seokjin loved him more than he did Namjoon. Even with all his height he couldn't manage it. Namjoon stepped up, abandoning his job of clearing out the piled-up wrapping paper around the room. With no warning he put a hand on either side of Seokjin and lifted him up. Seokjin yelped and then giggled as he put the star in its place. "You can put me down Mr. Alpha" Namjoon did as instructed, a stupid smitten smile on his own face as Seokjin giggled more. He turned around to pinch Namjoon's arm. And then let out an 'ow' himself. Namjoon arched an eyebrow at him. "It's my feet" He turned away and collapsed into their couch. Namjoon knelt down in front and sure enough Seokjin's feet were kind of red with angry marks on them. Namjoon sat down on the carpet and pulled a foot into his lap.
"What happened?" Seokjin ow-ed again as Namjoon began to massage the foot.
"It was today's stupid shoot. An ad for shoes and ugh they were so uncomfortable. I almost walked out, not wanting anyone to ever buy them." Namjoon tched and kept massaging. They had light Christmas music playing in the loft. All of the masters for the upcoming holiday releases had been sent to Namjoon and he was shamelessly giving Seokjin a pre-listen. "What's wrong Joonie?" Namjoon looked up as he felt a hand in his hair.
"Nothing's wrong I don't think. You want me to get you a tub of hot water to soak them?" Seokjin smiled down at him, his eyes incredibly fond.
"Not my feet. What's wrong with you? You've been all lost and quiet" Oh. It had been noticeable then, the way he had been brooding. Still, it stunned him for a moment being called out like this. Eventually he decided to just be out with it.
"Do you think we're stuck?" This just seemed to confuse Seokjin so Namjoon went on. "Like, I feel like we've been at this point of life forever. And I can't seem to move forward like Yoongi and Hobi did. Or move us in a different direction. Are we stuck? Am I holding you back?" Seokjin seemed taken aback but recovered quickly. His hand was absent mindedly playing with Namjoon's silver hair.
"I haven't been feeling like we're stuck. But when you put it like that" He booped Namjoon's nose with a finger. "I suppose we should pick a direction and stick to it" Namjoon nodded. Pick a direction.
"Yoongi and Hobi's direction is a good one" Seokjin hmmed. Namjoon remembered him with Kai.
"It is. But it doesn't have to be ours. We can figure out a new direction. I'll follow you in whichever direction you wanna go" Namjoon grimaced.
"I don't wanna hog that decision like this. That makes me selfish" Seokjin chuckled. Leaned a little closer to him. His hand slipped down to cup Namjoon's face.
"You're not selfish. Never were. I trust that your direction would be just fine with me. I'd be right there with you"
"And if I decide to go on another stadium tour?" Seokjin's eyes glimmered with mischief.
"Then I'll follow you. It's not like I haven't done it before" Namjoon laughed too, feeling lighter than he had felt all week.
"Those were good times" Seokjin sighed melodramatically.
"Oh to be young and rap star RM's groupie" He looked at Namjoon, eyes full of mirth. Namjoon got off the floor and tackled Seokjin onto his back. The sound of his laughter filled the loft and only stopped when Namjoon leaned in to kiss him.
*********************
For once, Namjoon was happy to be at the office. Mainly because: 1) He'd spent all morning at the studio; 2) It was the last day before the holidays officially began. He was in such good spirits, he decided to be a good exec and had been answering his emails. He had all the new releases on a playlist and was singing along as he ploughed through his inbox. Peace existed to be shattered though as the next moment he heard raised voices from his lobby and then a scarily furious looking Taehyung was barging into his office.
"Did you authorize this Hyung?" He slid a tablet on the table in front of Namjoon. Through the open door he could see his PA looking shell shocked and Nara came rushing out of her office.
"Apologize to them. I'm checking this out" Namjoon said and picked the tablet up. Taehyung was still panting in fury, but he sulked out and Namjoon heard him apologizing to Namjoon's staff. As for the tablet, it was open to an email. Namjoon's eye was immediately caught by some hasty sketches and scanned copies of bullet points and mind maps. He studied it carefully and it was about their new debutant group, Txt. But this was not the concept they had finalized for the quintet. Taehyung closed the door and dropped into the seat in front of Namjoon's desk. "This is not the concept we finalized" He looked up and Taehyung nodded.
"So you don't know about this? This idiot thought he could bypass you?" Namjoon scrolled up to see the sender of the email. Im Eric. Fucking hell. Namjoon pinched his nose as he pressed his intercom.
"Nara? Please send Im Eric to my office. Now" He released the intercom and then pointed to the jug of water. Taehyung poured himself a glass, looking sheepish. Namjoon picked the tablet again and really studied the concepts. It was... a lot. Namjoon could recognize the Eric print on it. This was the concept he had for himself when they'd been underground rappers. The sketches had lots of leather and chains. The mind maps all had the old tropes. Revolution, violence, anarchy. Dated ideas that had no place at Cypher.
There was a knock and then Eric walked into the office. He looked at Taehyung briefly before meeting Namjoon's gaze.
"You called for me Namjoon? Your secretary said it was urgent, I was in the middle of important work" Taehyung spoke up before Namjoon could.
"More important than seeing one of the owners of the label? Also, her name is Nara" Eric looked at Tae, stunned. He no doubt was irked that a man younger than him could talk to him like this, because he outranked him.
"Of course not" Eric kept his eyes on Namjoon, expectantly. Namjoon cleared his throat.
"It's about this email you sent Tae. Were you not aware that Txt's debut concept has been finalized?" The smug look was back, except Eric was trying to keep it in check it seemed.
"I was" Taehyung looked about ready to jump in again but held himself back.
"Then why have you mapped a new one for them? This is a waste of resources and time on something no one asked you to do" The smug look was wiped off Eric as he struggled to get words out. When he did, there was ice in his tone.
"Because someone had to. This previous concept was weak"
"Excuse me?" Taehyung's restraint cracked as he exclaimed. Eric seemed unfazed.
"What kind of concept was that for a boy group? All rainbows and fantasy worlds. What was the message?"
"Positivity. Youth. Imagination" Taehyung listed as Namjoon looked at the man before him. No growth. Same old ideology. Namjoon was so, so done with this.
"That's the shit for girl groups. These are men. They need to make a statement. Cause a stir" Taehyung was about to shoot back but Namjoon had had it.
"Enough. I don't think you understand your role here Eric. You've been made Manager Young Talent. You manage the talent, not their concepts and music. Leave that to us" Eric seethed, lips pursed, hands rolled into fists.
"Leave it to you? You who have forgotten the power of music? Lost all that drive you claimed to have. What's the point of these boy bands if they don't incite something?" Taehyung's mouth was hung open. Namjoon was taken aback too, mainly because he was not used to being shouted at in his own office.
"The power of music" He began and was pleased that his own tone was even. "The power of music is greater than your tiny mind can ever understand. What you speak of, this inciting and revolution, is nothing more than monetizing the public's frustrations. What are your boys going to do after inciting a revolution? Go fight alongside the people they mobilized? Spreading positivity is also revolution, and this one at least they can commit to. Easing the pain of youth. Giving them strength. To be themselves" He sighed. Then looked back up at Eric. He hated doing this. Hated that it had come to this. "And if you can't get with this style of music then I'm sorry Eric. We have no place for you. Decision is yours" Eric looked like he had been slapped. He stood there for a moment, staring between him and Taehyung before he turned on his heels and walked out of the office.
When Namjoon bid goodbye to Nara for the day, she informed him that Im Eric had tendered his resignation.
*********************
Jesus, stop being nervous. Namjoon had been chanting this like a mantra all the way over. He stepped out of the car and instantly his face was hit with a blast of cold. Maybe doing this at the ice-skating rink wasn't one of his best ideas. He soldiered on, nonetheless. It had snowed last night and even a little earlier in the evening. There was snow everywhere on the grass in the park surrounding the rink. It was a little eerie in the quiet. Namjoon anxiously looked around, craning his neck. Out of nowhere a snowball collided with his ear. When he instinctively whipped around, he received another one smack in the face. Laughter rang around the park and Namjoon heard heavy footsteps in the snow as he wiped his eyes of snow.
"I'm sorry did it hurt?" Gloved fingers helped him clear his vision as he shook his head no. Seokjin's face came into view, a shit eating grin on his face. Namjoon pushed him with as little warning as he had been given. Seokjin landed in the snow and Namjoon wasted no time in dumping snow on him. Seokjin rolled over and already his fist was closing around more snow. A snowball fight hadn't been in the plan but hey, Seokjin started it. When they had ran around the park and laughed their fill Seokjin bent over, hands on his knees. "No more. I'll be too tired to skate then" Well that won't do now, would it. The nerves that had been knocked out of Namjoon by a snowball were back as he helped Seokjin skate up and they stepped on the rink. They did a few laps, Namjoon holding onto Seokjin who was good on ice, but needed to warm up every time. He was much better at snowboarding. "How is no one here? It's Christmas Eve." What Namjoon had wanted to do, required privacy. So he'd booked the rink. He twirled Seokjin around before pulling him closer. When Namjoon left his hands, Seokjin immediately caught a hold of his waist. Namjoon reached into his pockets, aware of Seokjin's curious gaze on him. He pulled the ear pod case out and put them into Seokjin's ears. "What are you doing?"
"Just- shush" Namjoon pulled his phone out, glancing at Seokjin's pursed mouth. He looked expectant, and kind of amused. Namjoon pressed play and when he heard the track start playing, slipped the phone back in his pocket. Seokjin's eyes widened when the rap began.
"You recorded a new song?!" Namjoon nodded and took Seokjin's hand to start twirling him again. He watched as Seokjin heard the song, letting himself be twirled and pulled along by Namjoon. He watched as the lyrics made sense to him and Seokjin looked at him with his beautiful doe eyes, surprised. Namjoon watched as Seokjin teared up and skated closer to him. Looped arms around his neck and buried his face there too. They twirled as the track looped and Seokjin sniffed.
"Do you like it?" Namjoon asked into Seokjin's hair. He leaned back, and Namjoon wiped his face.
"It's beautiful"
"Yeah?" Namjoon leaned a fraction closer and touched his nose to Seokjin's icy cold one. "I'm glad. A beautiful song for my beautiful Seokjin"
"Why now?" It was a valid question. They had been together for years. Why now?
"It was time" Namjoon leaned back and twirled Seokjin around more. Seokjin went with it, trusting Namjoon to move him. "You already have my heart, soul, all of me. I owed you a song. Thank you for always following me, on every whim and fancy I have" Seokjin's eyes were fixed on him and he smiled. The track was still playing in his ears. Skated closer again.
"I love you" He whispered as he leaned in. Namjoon smiled against his lips.
"I love you too baby. Merry Christmas"