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When his doorbell rings on Christmas eve, he’s not sure who he’s expecting. Maybe a salesman trying to take advantage of the holiday cheer to sell him something, or one of those born again religious types trying to convert him on their most important holiday. He definitely wasn’t expecting Miyano Shiho to drop back into his life with all the immediacy and impact of a tactical nuke.
She looks nervous which doesn’t make any sense to him because Miyano Shiho’s never been unsure of anything in her life, even when she was leaving this town and him behind. He stares - for a few seconds, minutes, an eternity, he’s not really sure, responses running through his mind. He’s really tempted to slam the door on her face. Or maybe make a bitter remark.
But it’s Christmas, the weather is awful and honestly its been six years, he’s had enough time for the anger to smolder instead of flare up.
“Well, you must be the prettiest salesperson I’ve seen in these parts. You here to sell me something before Christmas?” he jokes. It’s a tame one, a pale imitation of the ribbing they used to engage in back when they were both in high school, but it’s safe ground to start on.
“The folks round here told me one of the best cops in town lived in this house. Figured a fella like that could use a Christmas Miracle” she jokes back, smiling wanly.
There’s an awkward pause, then Shinichi says, “I should welcome you inside, the weather is awful out there. Please come in”.
He opens the door more fully and steps aside, motioning for her to enter.
“Thank you” she says as she walks into his house and closes the door behind her.
“So would you like hot chocolate? Or tea maybe?”
“Tea sounds good.”
Basic manners kicks in and Shinichi heads to the kitchen to brew two cups of tea. It gives him a good opportunity to collect his thoughts and gain his bearings as well. Ayumi told him a couple of weeks ago that Shiho was coming to town for the holidays, but he never expected him to be a part of her holiday plans, mostly because one she’d headed off to Northwestern to get her Biochemistry degree, she never bothered to keep in touch with him.
What did she want from him? And what does he want from her? Both were questions without answers.
Once the tea is finished boiling, he pours it into two mugs for them and brings the steaming hot tea over to Shiho, who has made herself comfortable on his sofa, removing her shoes and jacket. He hands her a mug and starts with, “So how are you doing these days? Still at university in Northwestern?”
She takes a sip, “I graduated a couple of years ago, now I work for a biotech company in Chicago, Exicure. It does gene editing, maybe you’ve heard of it?”
“Can’t say I have, but it sounds like it suits you.”
She shrugs, “My boss is really strict, but really helpful too, and my coworkers are always willing to lend a hand. Also wearing a labcoat just feels cool, you know, like I’m a real mad scientist,” she pauses for a moment before continuing, “What about you? How’s being a small town cop treating you?”
He shrugs, “You know, small town, lots of kids drinking, alot of drug problems that sort of thing. Sometimes the odd domestic dispute. It’s alot of pressure, I deal with people as victims, suspects, witnesses or perpetrators that I will probably see again in the future when I’m off duty. The first time I met one of Genta’s girlfriends, I was hauling her in for cooking meth.”
Shiho laughs a little at that and the awkward atmosphere dissipates. They talk about interesting work stories (Shiho mentions how she nearly caused an explosive incident because someone had mislabeled a beaker with solution), movies they liked to watch (Shinichi insists that Die Hard is the best Christmas movie) and the various interests and hobbies they had picked up along the way (Shinichi picked up cooking in the intervening years and Shiho has gotten interested in fashion and sewing clothes).
Eventually Shinichi decided to circle the conversation back to the hard topics. The ones he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answers to, but needed to know the same way he needed to breath.
“Did you find what you were looking for, in the city?”
Was it worth it, leaving me behind?
Shiho swallows, perhaps sensing what was ahead, “Yeah, I did.”
“Then what are you doing here Shiho?”
She looks away.
“I realized I didn’t just gain things in the city, I lost them too. I lost the people I had here.”
She pauses, and the moment between them stretches into eternity, before she breaks the silence with, “I guess I came here hoping we were still friends.”
He hadn’t really been prepared for what she was going to say, but as soon as she said it, the next words came from his mouth as naturally as if he’d been dreaming of them every single moment for the past six years, and maybe in a way he had.
“You really hurt me when you left you know. I know you had to leave for yourself. I understand that, but do you know how much it hurt when you ignored my texts and calls? When you changed your phone number and didn’t even tell me? I was always thinking about you and I felt like you never gave a damn about me back.”
“I never meant to hurt you” she says quietly, “It was just that I was so tired of the town at that point. My sister had been dead for a year, and I could feel everyone staring, judging me for grieving wrong or not grieving enough, or offering me pity when I just wanted to be angry. I guess I just wanted to be alone, and then by the time I didn’t, we’d already drifted apart.”
Shinichi pauses. One eternity passes, then two.
He says, “It’s been six years, I don’t even know your phone number, we don’t really even have many shared stories anymore. We’re not friends Shiho, but you’ll never just be anybody to me”, he’s stuttering over his words now, nervous and unsure, but propelled on by something, “I think we made great friends once, and I’d be willing to try again if you are.”
She smiles at him and says, “I’d like that.”
Her voice, shaking, but full of courage as she accepts this tentative step, sounds something like hope and a warm feeling blooms in his chest.
“Want to stay for dinner? It’s getting late” he asks.
Christmas music fills the air as they prepare dinner together.