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Dani found herself from very familiar place. In front of her was a glass door which led to a place where she had spent so many hours with her favorite gardener, her wife, Jamie. She studied the Leafling from the outside . It was their own and full of so many good memories. She could see pink carnations and yellow roses placed near the window and on the checkout counter. To an outsider it could have seemed weird to have those two flowers together.. For Dani they looked beautiful as ever. A man passes her by an entered the flower shop.
The opening of the door making the bells ring to inform a customer has entered to the shop. It's then when she sees her. She sees Jamie coming from the back holding a cup of tea. Her hair in a beautiful mess and a pen behind her ear. Dani smiles warmly thinking she had been taking a break. She watched the two interact . She can't hear them but she could imagine the change of words by just the gestures. Dani loved how Jamie interacted with the customers. She was natural and it was no wonder people kept coming back. She added that just right amount of flirt and kindness to make people feel so much special and almost like they had known longer than just a few minutes. Someone would have been jealous their wife doing that but Dani wasn't. She adored the way Jamie handled people so easily. She would know cause she was one of those people and she did feel special to call her her own.
The man leaves with a carefully made, gorgeous bouquet. Dani was a bit curious who he was going to give it to. She could recognize Jamie’s bouquets anywhere. She made them carefully, using her time with them. She can't remember how many of them she had received herself. Usually including her favorite flowers, pink carnations or yellow roses. Dani´s taste in flowers was simple. She always had found the simplier things in life the most intriguing and Jamie knew that. She found herself studying Jamie cleaning up the counter after the customer had left. She looked a bit tired and there was something in her eyes she could not quite describe. It wasn't just the tiredness .
Suddenly it was dark outside and the flower shop was still open. Now she knew why Jamie looked so tired. She'd been keeping the store open longer. But when did this start happening? She couldn't remember. Dani found herself wondering how long she had been outside just staring inside without actually going inside. She lifted her hand to grab the doorknob finally. And she pushed the door open and heard the bells ringing but the ringing sounded like it was coming from somewhere else. Like from another room.
She opened the door and found herself walking into a small church that reminded her of the chapel at the Bly Manor. She studied the room and it became more familiar and she came to the conclusion that yes in fact it was the same chapel and she was back to the Bly Manor when she saw Viola´s name on the floor tile. The sight made her shiver. The space felt cold and she had never seen the space as dark as it was now. She had never been there when there was not a single candle lit. Hannah used to have at least on candle lit at all times. Was Hannah alright if she hasn't been here today to lit a candle?
The chill she felt against her spine was almost paralyzing . It hit her like what felt like a stab with a knife on her back.. She wasn't so sure she was alone anymore. She felt a presence at the small space and all she could think was that she wanted to be anywhere else than there at that moment. Cold hand creeping up to her neck behind her and another hand on her face trying to suffocate her. It was just a feeling but it felt real, like a real touch. She tried to scream but she couldn't . She couldn't move. Her breathe was getting heavier and she felt like she was going to faint from anxiousness on that place she was standing. Her eyes closed and she felt like she was falling.
She felt like someone had their hand on hers. Leading her. She could see the light behind her closed eyelids all sudden. It wasn't dark anymore. She opened her eyes and covered them with her other hand that wasn't occupied . The sudden light was blinding . She heard voices from the distance and removed her hand. Her eyes started to adjust and she saw some familiar figures. She saw Hannah leaning against the well. Almost like she was looking at something which was weird for Dani but she brushed it off. She now realized that it was Flora who dragged her from the hand. Yelling Miles that Dani was more beautiful they were expecting. It made Dani laugh. She laughed and suddenly when Miles was telling it was nice to meet her and when he kissed her hand she lost herself in a thought. Didn't this already happen? Why does this seem so familiar. She was woken up from her thought when Hannah stepped closer to her and introduced herself. This was a memory. The realization crept into her mind and she felt lost. "- Am I dreaming or did we do this already?" She finds herself saying out loud. -" I am afraid this it not a dream, Dani." Hannah said gently giving her a soft smile. "It was your first day at Bly summer of 87' when this happened'". Dani shook her head in disbelieve. How could this be? She drift deeper into her thoughts and her surrounding became to falter and shatter.
She found herself back outside of the Leaflings. She remembered this memory all too well. She couldn't bare herself to look up at the door that gave her the perfect reflection of her both companions. Her beloved wife to be and her best friend and the lady in the lake that shook her very core. Because it was a memory she finally couldn't stop herself from looking. She knew what she was going to be against with and when she saw Violas reflection on the window of the door she felt numb. She remembered it was the first time she didn't feel scared anymore seeing the faceless monster trying to take her over. Which was more terrifying, she wanted to feel scared again.
She studied the faceless woman in front of her before Viola faded away and all she could see was Jamie looking back at her with her flirtatious smile and a wink. The smile that still made her legs go weak. Jamie had no idea what had just happened. She would soon. Dani knew her time with Jamie was up. She didn't know if it would be a day, a week or a month but she knew eventually she had to leave the woman she loved more than she has ever loved anyone else. She offered a smile back and opened the door...
She found herself from the darkness again. She tried to study the room using only the light that was being casted from the streetlights outside. She felt another presence in the room. The presence wasn't scary like at the chapel. It was full of fondness and love. It was soft and familiar and Dani wanted to wrap herself into that feeling.
She started to feel much more after a moment she had seen Jamie sleeping in their bed, alone. She felt loss,heartache and aloniless. Dani's heart ached and it felt like she was going to burst from the pain she was now feeling. Dani studies Jamie who had fell asleep with her working clothes on. How exhausted she must had been. Dani sat next to the sleeping woman and studied her face. A bit older face that she remembered. It couldn't have been a memory she found herself thinking.
She saw the bedroom door was open. She wondered why that was because Jamie used to demand that they keep doors closed at all times. While she was sitting down the pain she had felt a moment ago was gone. She felt at ease. It was almost like they say, calm before the storm. She stood up when she felt Jamie moving in her sleep. She needs her sleep. Dani thought, and the open door with the chilling breeze couldn't have helped one bit. She walked towards the door to pull the door closed and when the door clicked she felt Jamie waking up. Heard her start with scared "- Whose ther..." and end the sentence with soft and desperate question, - "Dani?" . But Dani was already gone.
"Poppins you flirt" Jamie is teasing her when she wakes up. Dani feels herself blush and she smiles when she wakes to the memory. It was a Thursday morning 6am and Dani had been up since 5am trying to figure how to make a decent cup of coffee since she was horrible with the tea.
She gives her a questioning look when she sees Dani acting out of it. Dani quickly steps closer to her. Dani looks at at the woman in front of her . The love of her life. How do I know that already? Dani wonders. It's not that we have spent that much time with..."- It's a memory isn't it?" Jamie turns to face Dani from her work and bites her lip nodding. "- You are right, Poppins. " Dani sighs but then smiles softy. "- It's one of my favorites from Bly. I loved it when you teased me. And you knew it! But the coffee wasn't THAT bad. "- Jamie laughs. "- Well it's your memory you can tell that to yourself as much as you want but it doesn't change the facts. " Dani laughs and asks her to the boring pub. And then comes in the teasing again from Jamie. She feels herself slipping away slowly and she's trying to stay with Jamie but it's useless. She usually stays on this one longer but something keeps dragging her away from it. Viola.
She doesn't know where she is. She doesn't know if it's a memory or a present. The only thing she knows she doesn't want to be there but for some reason she needs to be there. "It's you,it's me, it's us" Echoing in her mind. First when she hears it it's clearly her voice saying it but it changes to someone else’s voice she doesn't recognize. It's Viola reminding Dani of their pact. She can't move and she feels helpless. She feels cold like a corpse, numb yet alive somehow. It feels like she's underwater. Which she just realizes when she sees Jamie trying to swim towards the bottom of the lake to her. She can hear her screaming thoughts to take her with her. Dani would never hurt Jamie like that. She hears the sadness. She feels everything Jamie is feeling. The worse thing was she couldn't tell Jamie it's was fine. This what was bound to happen and she'd be alright, they'd both be in the end . She could only watch and feel. Then when Jamie had to go back to the surface to catch a breathe is when Dani lost herself again. It's like Jamie’s presence had woken her and put away again.
-" It's you!It's me! It's us!" Dani yells at Viola. Trying desperately to save Flora from this horrible faith. When the lady of the lake stops and turns around to face Dani it's too late to go back. She feels Viola in her in a second. She's horrified of the feeling. So much pain and suffering and hate. The hate is blinding.
Dani can't feel anything else. Jamie is holding her. She does't feel anything. Jamie is looking her. She doesn't feel she's looking at her. She tells herself it has to be a dream but she knows it's reality and she has to live with it now. She regrets what she had done but she would do it again to save Flora. Dani let's Jamie to take Flora from her embrace which originally wasn't even her embrace but Violas. Dani feels something she didn't the first time. She's out of breathe and she's crying. - " Why do I need to come back here." She tries to take deep breathes feeling the panic attack settling in. She feels light headed. She can't breathe. And before she fades away she can feel Jamie holding her calling out to her but Dani is gone.
Dani can't see anything but she hears someone cry, sobbing and swearing. Jamie. Dani can't quite make out what she's saying until her name is mentioned. She's praying Dani to show herself like she had briefly all those years ago in their bedroom walking away from Jamie. Finally Dani can see Jamie, she's even older now. How was Dani here? Did Jamie’s crying out her name set a path for her? But how could that be? Dani had learned she had no control herself where she was being pulled at the hard way.
The thought of Jamie screaming out of her name makes her break down in tears. " - I never thought you'd be this selfish Poppins!" There's a crack in her voice and the tears wont stop. Dani looked at the woman and she knew that she wasn't mad at her. Just desperate. "- I know you are here so why wont you just show yourself to me.." The sentence started with much louder than it ended. "- I know you are here..." She cries for Dani who could only listen and cry. She wanted to comfort Jamie but she couldn't. She was studying Jamie’s features right in front of her. All she wanted was to brush the tears away and pull the woman in her embrace.
Jamie then moved and walked right through Dani which made Dani stumble back from the slight sense of feeling her wife. Dani somehow managed to collide with a potted plant and the vase fell and broke down. Confused Dani looked at Jamie who jumped of the sound and was staring at the broken vase and the flower on the floor. She wasn't mad, she smiles and the tears kept flowing , taking a deep breathe "- Poppins, I think there'd be better ways to tell you are here. You are cleaning that up, not me." Dani broke into a laughter and so did Jamie even tho Jamie still couldn't see Dani there.
She felt her now even stronger than ever since...She sat down on the couch. -" I miss you." She started and Dani told her she did miss Jamie too. Again Jamie couldn't hear her. Jamie kept talking to Dani who had sat next to Jamie. Dani listened how Jamie told about Flora getting married. Dani felt so happy she shed a tear listening about her friends in her past life. Dani had been there, she remembered watching from far away. She remembered that night at the hotel room when Jamie had fallen asleep on the chair and Dani had collected all the strength to be brave and put her hand on Jamie’s shoulder to comfort her. Just because of that she had lost herself what felt like for years. She found out that Jamie had talked about them day before the wedding. Dani felt like she was back at the Bly Manor in Jamie´s embrace again when Jamie was going through her favorite memories of them in there.
After many hours of talking it was so late and Jamie tried to fight the sleep that was pulling her under. The amount of coffee she had drank couldn't keep her up any longer. Dani remembered when she finally succeed Jamie to try coffee again and after awhile to enjoy it almost as much as she loved her tea. Well almost as much. She laid down on the couch and closed her eyes. She felt at peace. She felt as good as before Dani had left her with the letter that pleaded her not to follow her and that she cannot stay anymore and that she has to leave before anything bad happens that can't be taken back. If she would have only known the pillow she lied her head was Dani’s lap. Dani looked down at the older woman and she knew her actions would send her away for a long time but she needed to feel Jamie for a moment. She brushed Jamie’s hair from her face and kissed her forehead. "- I love you.." She had so much more to say but the she felt that the energy she had just used was too much and she felt Viola pulling her back to the bottom of the lake.