Work Text:
It happened quite late one night when Keith was doing a quick check of the castle before heading to bed after spending the last few hours in the training room. Pidge in particular had a bad habit of losing track of time and forgetting to actually go to sleep. While Keith himself only needed a few hours, Pidge definitely shouldn't be staying up until all hours of the night, and Keith figured that, as part of his new role as the Black Paladin, it was his job to make sure his team was taking care of themselves.
Although Keith didn’t agree with Black’s decision to make him the leader, he had finally decided to step up and take the responsibility that was placed upon him seriously. While their first “mission” after the whole switch up had been quite a disaster (showing his true inexperience as a leader) the team had , slowly but surely, been getting adjusted to their new positions, and Keith felt like they had all been making good progress, himself included.
When he was first still struggling with his new appointment as the leader, and was still constantly second-guessing Black’s choice, it was Lance of all people that had convinced Keith to accept the facts. He had not only been the first to accept Keith fully as the new leader, but he had also provided him with all the support he needed, and truly stepped up to his position as the right hand of Voltron. Keith had had a feeling that he would have been truly lost without someone like Lance in that position. Lance had never been one to sugar-coat his feelings about Keith, and he was always willing to call him out whenever he was behaving recklessly or was unnecessarily endangering the team, but there was no longer the biting edge that his words used to carry from when they first met.
Keith could never have imagined that their relationship could have evolved to this point, but now he could honestly say he trusted Lance emphatically, and saw him as a close friend. Keith had no idea, though, if Lance felt the same way towards him.
Keith had checked the Green Lion’s hanger first, where Pidge had their workshop set up, and thankfully found that they were not present anywhere in the room. He couldn’t lie about his feelings of relief, since Pidge had a tendency of being both irritable and aggressive when being forced into bed. He decided it was unlikely that they would be lingering elsewhere, as they usually kept to specific areas of the castle, and often would stay up late working on their projects in the hanger, losing track of time. It would probably still be a good idea to poke his head into some of the other rooms though, just to be safe. He ran into no one in either the kitchen or in the lounge room, and figured he was home free until he reached the bridge. He assumed that if he were to find anyone here it would be Coran, or possibly Allura, since the Alteans didn’t actually need as much sleep as their human teammates. He was quite surprised then, when he actually saw the last person he expected sitting in the middle of the room, surrounded by the twinkling of familiar stars.
Lance had always been the type to complain about their early morning training sessions ruining his beauty sleep, a concept Keith could never really understand. So seeing him up and out of bed at this time of night left him feeling a mixture of confusion and concern. Perhaps before he took up the position of the leader, Keith might have been annoyed if he had found Lance here at this time of night, but now he could only wonder over the other boy's despondent form, questioning why he was still awake.
At first Keith thought that maybe he should go wake someone else, Hunk possibly, to come talk to the rather sad looking boy, but as he watched Lance’s shoulders slump even further, he decided that there was no time to find anyone else. Keith may not be the best at talking about feelings, but he had a responsibility to his team, right ? This was part of being the Black Paladin, and while he was still unsure of what he was going to say exactly, there was no way he could turn away when Lance was alone and looking like a kicked puppy. Not really wanting to startle him with his sudden appearance, as technically no one else should’ve been awake at this time, he decided to try and make his steps loud and obvious as he entered the room.
As he got closer he saw Lance’s shoulders shift into a tense upright position, and he pointedly turned his face up towards the hologram in front of him, pointedly not looking at whomever might be approaching. Keith couldn't tell if Lance had always been this obvious, or if he had just gotten good at reading his new friend.
Lance finally turned his head toward him when Keith had fully approached, and gave a lazy smile that didn't quite reach his eyes once he realized who it was disturbing him.
“Fancy seeing you here, Mullet,” Lance said, with an almost fond tone to the once mocking nickname. You’d never hear Keith say it aloud, but he actually enjoyed Lance giving him all these different nicknames, even Mullet. “Shouldn’t you be, like, decapitating training bots or something?”
Keith scoffed as he lowered himself to the ground to sit next to him, “Allura added a safety to the system, so I can only train for a specified amount of hours before the whole thing shuts off, I haven’t figured out how to work around it yet,” he grumbled.
Lance gave out a sharp laugh, not even trying to hide his amusement as he leaned back on his hands, and Keith was relieved to see his shoulders relax a fraction. Now that he was close, Keith could tell there were some dark circles underneath Lance’s eyes, and his concern spiked once again. What could be going on that Lance was losing sleep over it?
“I was doing one last Pidge check before heading to bed,” Keith continued, “You know how they get when distracted by a new project,” out of the corner of his eyes Keith could see Lance bobbing his head along in agreement. “I’m actually surprised to see you here, this late at night. Aren’t you worried about losing out on your precious beauty sleep?” Although he was trying to keep his tone playful and light, there was an obvious physical reaction from Lance.
“Just doing a little wind down before heading to bed, must've lost track of time,” Although Lance’s tone seemed unbothered, it was obvious to Keith that something was wrong, merely from the fact that Lance wouldn’t look him directly in the eye. Keith figured that Lance wasn’t going to bring up what was bothering him on his own, and that he was just going to have to be blunt about the issue.
“Look, you don’t have to tell me if you don't want to, but it's pretty obvious that something’s bothering you,” Keith sighed as he averted his gaze towards the familiar constellations of the Milky Way, eyes searching for the familiar speck that was Earth. “I know that maybe I’m the last person you want to talk to about these sort of things, since we’re not close and all-”
“What?” Lance interrupted giving Keith an annoyed look, “I know we aren't, like, best friends or anything, but I thought we were finally close enough to actually be able to call each other normal friends at least!” Keith narrowly avoided being smacked in the face as Lance aggressive waved his hands about.
“Are we… friends?” Keith asked as he scooted outside of Lance’s, rather broad, swinging range.
Lance gave him one of those looks that clearly said he thought Keith was being extremely dumb, “Uh, yeah. Obviously .”
“Oh,” Keith leaned forward, tryin to hide the pleased expression on his face. “...I didn't realize.” Although he felt a bit foolish, Keith was mostly glad to finally know how Lance truly felt about him. Friends .
When he glanced over he saw that Lance was giving him a wide-eyed stare but he quickly averted his gaze with a light flush to his cheeks once he noticed Keith looking. He brought a hand up to his face and mumbled something into the palm of his hand. What's with that look?
“Come again?” Keith prodded curiously, and he watched in fascination as the red on his cheeks spread across his face and down his neck.
Lance started sputtering and wildly waving his hands around again, unable to actually say anything clearly. Keith watched in amusement for a moment before he realized how off-topic they had gotten and decided to return to the previous conversation.
“ Anyways ,” Keith coughed nervously into his hand, “Since we are friends, why don’t you tell me what's bothering you?”
Lance’s expression dropped immediately, the flush leaving his face, and he once again curled his shoulders inward as if to protect himself. “It’s nothing- No,” he interrupted himself as he glanced over at Keith, “It is something, but… it’s not important. I don’t want to bother you… you’ve got enough on your plate as it is.”
Keith couldn’t recall ever seeing Lance looking so small before. It left him feeling quite unsettled. That expression and body posture did not belong on Lance, and Keith was going to do everything he could to rid him of it.
“If you’re losing sleep over it I would think it’s pretty important,” Lance looked unconvinced, so Keith decided to change tactics. “Besides, if you aren’t in top form you could end up causing a lot of trouble for the rest of the team.” Keith wasn’t happy about using this tactic, but he figured that if Lance wouldn’t talk for his own sake, he might, for the sake of his friends.
For one moment Keith thought that Lance still wasn’t going to share anything, and that he would end up having to wake Hunk anyways, but then Lance let out a huge sigh and ruffled his hair in a rather nervous manner.
“If I tell you,” Lance started cautiously, “You can't… you can’t make fun of me, or laugh or anything, ok?”
“Do you really think I would laugh at your feelings ?” A small part of Keith felt hurt that Lance would think this way. Is this the kind of impression he let off?
“That’s not- I mean- it’s just-” Lance looked equal parts frustrated, equal parts annoyed. “Look, just promise you won’t, ok?”
“I will not make fun of, or laugh at your feelings, ok? Just tell me what’s bothering you already!” As much as he tried, frustration was starting to leak into his voice, and Keith wasn’t sure how much longer he could dance around the topic like this before he ended up saying something he would regret.
Lance glared at him hotly before letting out another heavy, world-wielding, sigh. Keith had to resist rolling his eyes at his teammate’s dramatics.
“So, I mean, once I tell you, it’ll be pretty obvious to you, so,” Lance said. “Like, I mean it’s just so obvious- ”
“Lance!” Keith had to interrupt his rambling or he would never get to the point.
He watched as the other boy sucked in sharply, and then, letting it all out in one breath, “ IthinktheRedLionhatesme !”
“...What?” Keith couldn’t keep the incredulous tone out of his voice.
“I said- ” Lance started in an obnoxious tone.
“I know what you said,” Keith interrupts hotly, “What I don’t get is what you mean . Why would you think that the Red Lion hates you!?” Keith openly gapes at him in complete confusion.
Much like how the Black Lion had chosen Keith, Red had chosen Lance in the same way. And while at first Keith had assumed that they were going to be a terrible match, Lance had ended up piloting Red for the first time far better than Keith had been able to when they had first come up into space.
Lance glared at Keith as he began ranting, “If you can’t tell from looking then you must be blind ,” Lance said. “He doesn’t listen to me, he doesn’t talk to me,” Lance abruptly stands up and begins to pace around the room, “and I know that it’s because I’m nowhere as good of a pilot, nowhere as good of a right hand, nowhere near as good of a Red Paladin as you were, and I just know that Red hates that I’m not good enough, that I’m not you .”
“ Whoa . Whoa whoa whoa,” Keith moves to intercept Lance, placing his hands firmly on his shoulders. “I have no idea what you are talking about. Red chose you to be his new pilot, and he wouldn't pick someone he hated.” Even as Lance turned his face away, Keith could see the frustrated tears in his eyes. This was something that was really eating him up inside.
“ Why are you even trying to compare yourself to me?” Lance opened his mouth as if to speak, but Keith wouldn’t let them. “No. Listen . You are nothing like me,” he watched as Lance’s lips trembled and his eyes grew glossy, “I don’t know where this ridiculous notion of yours has come from, but you can’t be me !”
Keith could tell immediately that he had said too much. Like a broken dam, the tears Lance had been trying to valiantly hold back burst forth, and his hands raised to cover his face as he all out sobbed . “Of c…c-course I can’t be you,” he choked out,”I’ve always been stuck two steps behind you to you! Only ever able to get ahead after you had moved on to better things!” Now that he had started he was completely unable to stop, exposing everything he was feeling at this moment. “I only got moved to the fighter pilot class at the G... g-garrison after you had gotten kicked out, I only got the chance to pilot Red after you had moved into the leadership position. And you deserve it, you d...d-do, the best choice to pilot the Black Lion, but it just leaves me feeling like an afterthought. Always trapped in your shadow, s...s-econd best. It was easier when you were my rival, w...w-when I pretended to hate you, but now I’ve gotten to really know you, to become your friend, a...a-and it feels even worse because I know you never deserved how i’ve treated you and I just feel like I can never match up, and Red. Just. Won’t. Talk. To. Me. ”
Keith was absolutely speechless as Lance spun away from him, trying to calm down his breathing. “Lance…” Keith couldn’t believe that he had been feeling this way the whole time , and obviously he would have hang ups about taking up the position of Red Paladin because of it. Keith could feel the guilt curling in his gut. This was his fault, he was the reason why Lance had been losing sleep. Keith didn’t know how to fix Lance’s feelings towards him, but he might be able to help him with Red.
“Come with me,” Keith said as he pulled him towards the doors and out of the room.
“Wha…Where are we going? Keith!?” Lance rubbed at his eyes with his free hand, but offered up no actual resistance. Keith chose not to answer, instead deciding to focus on navigating the brightly lit castle hallways. He dragged Lance, away from the bridge, away from their rooms, and towards the place he had originally come from.
Lance stuttered to a stop, finally putting up a bit of resistance as they reached the doors to the Red Lion’s hangers, “Keith…”
“Look, I’m not trying to make you feel bad, so don’t take this personally, but you are handling your relationship with Red all wrong. Let me help you with this,” Lance’s expression was unsure, but he gave a sharp nod and followed him into the room
The Red Lion sat upright with his eyes tilted towards the doors, and even without moving, Keith could tell he was watching them. He dragged the reluctant Lance all the way to the massive front paws and turned him so he could look at his face.
“I’m going to clear this up right away, but there is absolutely no way that Red hates you, he is not the type to tolerate people he even kind of dislikes, so there is no way he would let you pilot him if he felt that strongly about you,” Lance had finally tilted his head up to look Keith in the eyes. “I think your problem might be that you are trying to approach Red as if you were like me. Red chose you knowing that the two of us are nothing alike, he picked you because he wanted you to pilot him. He could have just rejected everyone, but he didn’t, Red entrusted himself to you.”
Lance glanced up towards the looming form of his lion, “If, if that's true, then why won't he talk to me?” He seemed more frustrated now than miserable, and the splochyness of his skin from crying was starting to fade. “I...I’ve tried bonding with him, but he’s always so quiet . Blue was always so chatty, but Red never says anything back to me...”
Keith thought seriously about it for a moment, and then almost laughed at how simple it was. “Lance, when you are trying to bond with Red, do you talk to him with actual words ?”
Lance gave him one of those looks that said he was thinking there was something very wrong with Keith’s head, “Uh, duh , obviously, how else do you talk to people?” The redness had completely left his face, and the only sign of his earlier breakdown was the slight redness around his eyes.
Keith couldn’t help but let out a laugh of relief, “Well that explains it then, Red isn’t people , the two of you are basically trying to talk to each other in two different languages.” He could tell from the expression on Lance’s face that he had no idea what Keith was going on about. “When you fly with Red, do you ever get a strange sort of feeling? Like, physically?”
Lance tilted his head as he thought about the question, “Ummm… I guess, maybe? Like, my heart starts to race faster than normal and I start to feel really excited, but I figured that was because Red is so much faster than Blue, is it not?”
Keith shakes his head, “It sounds like the Blue Lion communicated with you using actual words, but Red doesn’t work that way. The Red Lion runs on instinct and he doesn’t really think before he acts.”
“Heh, kind of like you, huh?” Another frown had appeared on Lance’s face, but Keith wasn’t going to let it stay there.
“Red never communicated with me through words, it was always through intense feelings. That’s why you always feel a spike of adrenaline when you are in the middle of battle, it’s Red trying to convey his feelings to you. He doesn’t really know how to use his words, so he communicates with you in the only way he knows how.”
Lance’s face brightened with understanding and he looked up at Red’s face. “Is that true Big Red? Have I just been misunderstanding you this whole time?” Even Keith could feel the low rumble coming off of the Red Lion, and along with it the euphoric feeling that came along with it, that His Paladin was finally beginning to understand Him.
Lance’s eyes had fallen closed as he concentrated on the Red Lion, “Um, I don’t quite get exactly what he’s trying to say, but he’s… happy?” His eyes flew open as he looked directly into Keith’s face with a hopeful look in his eyes.
Keith couldn’t keep the grin off of his face even if he tried, “Yeah, he’s happy you’re finally beginning to understand him. It’ll take a little while to get used to, Black still confuses me sometimes when he projects images into my head, but now that you've got the gist of it you shouldn’t have any problems communicating with each other anymore.”
Lance moved forward and gave one of the massive paws of the ship an awkward hug, “I… I’m so sorry, Red. I thought you had been shutting me out, but in reality I was the one who wasn’t trying hard enough,” Lance was back to crying again, but now his face was also occupied by a huge smile. “I know I might not have been the greatest pilot, but I promise that before you know it you and I will be the best of friends!”
As Keith watched Lance jabber on, he came to the realization that maybe he could fix things between the two of them. All it would require would be for him to suck up his discomfort, and talk about his feelings. Lance was now doing his best to speak Red’s language, so shouldn't he get the same respect from Keith?
“Lance…” Keith coughed as Lance quieted down to look at him curiously. He could feel an embarrassed flush spreading across his cheeks, and he turned his gaze towards the floor for at least a small bit of comfort. “I… back when we were on earth, at the Garrison, I was so ignorant of what was going around me, and I know I was an asshole. When we saved Shiro, back at the beginning, I did recognize you. There’s no way I would’ve forgotten someone like you even if I didn’t remember your name, but I was so embarrassed about how I acted when I was at the Garrison, I lied and said I didn’t remember you to try and save face.
“I was always impressed by how well you made friends, how everyone liked you at least a little bit, and I admired the way you would defend others. I always wanted to talk to you, but I thought there was no way that someone like you would ever be interested in being friends with an aggressive and angry person like me, so I never tried,” Keith wasn’t sure whether he was grateful or not about how Lance was choosing this moment to keep quiet. “And you were always poking at me, and then you didn't remember that time with Sendak, and the bonding moment, and I just assumed that you didn’t really like me. So I decided to poke back, become your ‘rival’. I thought that that would be the only relationship we would ever be able to have. But, then there was everything with the Shiro disappearing, and me becoming the Black Paladin, and you becoming the Red Paladin and… well… now we're here, and I think this might be all my fault. So... I’m sorry.” Keith could feel his face flaming up, absolutely mortified by what he had just confessed to. He could only hope that Lance wouldn’t be too upset, that he might actually forgive him.
Mustering up all of his courage, Keith looked up towards Lance. He was surprised at the expression he saw on him. His eyes were wide in shock, his jaw hanging open, and his face a bright cherry red to match Keith’s own flush. Before he could begin to decipher what that expression meant, Lance flung his arms around him, and gripped him in a constricting hug.
“K… K-Keeeeeeith!” Lance wailed as he gripped the back of his shirt, “I-I always admired you back at the Garrison, you were so cool! I always wanted to talk to you back then, but I figured you would never give someone like me the time of day, you were always so focused on your flying! I figured that the only way I could get you to notice me was to beat your flight scores, but it never worked, you never even looked my way. And, then you got kicked out, and you didn’t remember me when we met again, and I decided that if you didn’t want to be my friend then I could at least be someone who challenged you. At least that way you would never forget me.” Keith started rubbing Lance’s trembling form, a part of him shocked at the way things had turned out.
“I was so happy recently, when the two of us started to get closer. That’s why I never wanted to mention my problems with Red, I was worried you would go back to thinking I was just one big loser…”
“Lance,” Keith pulled back a bit, but still kept his arms wrapped loosely around his waist, “you are not a loser, but we are both so stupid . We’ve been dancing around each other like absolute morons because neither of us wanted to tell the other about how we really felt.”
Lance let out a watery laugh, “Yeah, we really have been acting kinda dumb, huh?” Lance fully pulled away from Keith, but remained within his space, “We should just like, start over. Forget the past, you know?” he held out his hand towards him as if to give a handshake.
Keith glanced down at his hand, and then back up to Lance’s face, “Ok, let's start over, then,” and then, with a burst of bravery, Keith forgoed the handshake entirely, and threw his arms around Lance in a hug of his own.
“Uh, Keith? I don’t think that this is how people who have just met each other act,” Lance mocked, but he wrapped his arms around him anyways, contradicting his words. Keith couldn't recall the last time he had felt so secure.
“Lance.”
“Hmmmm?” Lance had started to rub his hands up and down Keith’s back, and he was starting to feel extremely relaxed.
“Let’s go to bed,” he sighed out.
“Yeah, think I’ll finally be able to get a good night's sleep this time,” he stretched his arms above his head.
“Yeah, well don’t forget we have training first thing tomorrow morning,” Keith smirked at Lance as he made his way out of the room.
“Wait, Keith! Don’t you think I deserve a break after the night I’ve had?” Lance shouted after him. “Keith? Buddy? My man?” He was definitely going to sleep well tonight, knowing that things were finally settled between him and Lance, and all it took was a bit of good communication.