Chapter Text
You’re not quite sure when your infatuation with the redhead began. You have known about Gaara since middle school when it was first rumored that his family belonged to the yakuza. Gaara, in particular, was the scariest of the Sabaku siblings. Constantly getting into fights, making crude remarks to those around him, you once heard that he even killed a guy for looking at him the wrong way. But despite all the things said about him, you thought he was pretty cute.
“Are you crazy!” Your friends yelled at you. You just confessed to your group of friends that you thought Gaara was super cute and that you had even thought about telling him you thought so.
“This may be the worst idea you have ever had.” Ami comments.
“C’mon, I doubt he is really as bad as everyone says he is.” You tell them.
“No. He is worse.” Yuki says, staring at you. “I heard that he punched a kid so hard the kid choked on his own teeth.”
“I heard he’s been arrested like 10 times.” Ami mentions.
“Plus, he’s not even all that cute.” Mari finally pipes up.
“Yeah!” The others agree with her. 13-year-olds can be so mean. You sigh realizing that you won’t get any support from them. Maybe, you’ll just keep admiring Gaara from afar.
---
And you did, for nearly 5 years.
Now you’re in your third year of high school and your crush still hasn’t gone away. By the time middle school was over, the nasty rumors about Gaara and his family stopped spreading. This, in part, was due to him becoming friends with Naruto and his motley crew of misfits. Turns out, the Sabaku family wasn’t part of the yakuza. Instead, they owned a craft store on the Northside of town. His mom and uncle taught art classes there and they sold a vast variety of art products, his whole family also made art to be sold there.
The fight rumors were mostly true. Turns out Gaara used to get randomly attacked all the time because of his appearance and because of some of the rumors floating around. Gaara was just defending himself in those situations, he was never the person to start the fights.
Being around Naruto and all his friends had a positive effect on Gaara’s social skills. He began talking with more people, and he even began smiling more while at school. Needless to say that this had a highly positive impact on his social standing. So much so, that the start of this year he even managed to get a girlfriend, Ami.
You found out about it in May, the weather was super nice and you, Mari, and Yuki were all sitting on the roof enjoying the sun and breeze while waiting for Ami to join you.
“Sorry I’m late” her voice cried as she came through the door. “The lines were Insane! But, anyway, I brought my boyfriend along so you guys can finally meet him.” She cooed.
Ami had been bragging about this boyfriend for the past month but said that because the relationship was so new, she didn’t want to make things weird by introducing him too soon. So the three of you had been pestering her to bring him around sometime.
You had not expected Gaara to follow her through the door. You had been taking a sip of your water at the time and the shock of your crush standing with your friend promptly caused you to choke. You were thrown into a coughing fit, managing to get water everywhere. Not a good first impression.
Yuki was quick to hand you her handkerchief and help you clean up and settle yourself. You looked up and saw Gaara looking at you with both question and concern, and Ami had a look of humor and something you couldn’t quite describe.
“Uh, sorry, went down the wrong pipe.” You tried to play off as you gave a weak laugh.
The rest of your lunch went smoother than the first few minutes. But your thoughts were preoccupied the entire time. Did Ami know that you still like Gaara? Did she forget about that conversation you had 4 years ago? Was this a serious relationship? Or was she pranking you?
Soon the bell rang and you all made your way back to your classes. Ami and Mari were in the same class, so they parted from you, Yuki and Gaara.
“So, Gaara, will you be joining us for lunch more often, now that we’ve officially met you?” Yuki cautiously offered.
“I think so, it will depend on what Ami wants to do, but I had a nice time with you all,” Gaara says with a smile before going into the classroom. You and Yuki share a look before you follow him in.
You were distracted for the rest of the day. Your gaze kept drifting to the back of Gaara’s head, and your questions from earlier kept circulating. By the end of the day you reached a conclusion, maybe Ami just forgot. Yeah, that’s it. Maybe she forgot about your crush on Gaara. After all, you didn’t really talk about him after that one time in middle school.
Maybe I should just be happy for them instead. Your head said with positivity, but your heart cried in protest.
---
For the next month, you decided to forget your crush and Gaara, and instead focus on becoming his friend. At lunch, he, Yuki, and yourself would walk to get Ami and Mari. Then the five of you would make your way down to the cafeteria. There, Ami and Gaara would decide if they would eat with your group of Gaara’s group of friends. For the most part, it was a fifty-fifty split.
The days they would join your group the five of you would make your way up to the rooftop to eat lunch. During this period of time, you found that you and Gaara actually had a lot in common. Same taste in music, the same interest in books, you even learned that you and him both liked silent films. Discovering that you had so much in common with each other lead to a stronger friendship. Eventually, you exchanged phone numbers and began messaging one another, homework help, memes, even thoughts on the media that you two had first bonded over.
One evening, you had been talking about the aspects of an indie film that Gaara had sent you, when you rolled over and saw that it was almost three in the morning;
-------
TO Gaara:
What! How is it this late?
-------
TO Me:
Oh,
I hadn’t realized.
I should let you go to bed.
-------
TO Gaara:
Let me? What about you?
Aren’t you tired too?
-------
TO Me:
No.
I have chronic insomnia
I don’t get much sleep.
-------
TO Gaara:
Really?
Is there anything that helps it?
-------
TO Me:
Not much.
I appreciate that you have stayed
up this late to talk with me though
-------
TO Gaara:
Well, I can’ help any other way,
so let’s keep talking!
-------
The next day you were dead tired.
“I told you, you should have gone to bed.” Gaara poked fun at you while you were walking to the cafeteria.
“Urusai~” You whined as you rubbed your eyes for the billionth time. This pulled a laugh from the redhead beside you. Ami quickly pulled Gaara away to fill up their trays while you moseyed over to grab a quick snack and drink from a nearby vending machine. Yuki grabbed her food and followed you up to the rooftop. You sat down and quickly dove into your snack, determined to finish it and take a power nap.
“So, what was that about?” Yuki pondered sitting next to you.
“What?”
“You and Gaara were up late talking to each other?”
“Yeah, he sent me a link to this super neat indie film, and then we talked about it.” You said stuffing your face some more. “We lost track of time and I stayed up way too late.”
“Right, but, you know it’s not cool to talk to another girl’s Boyfriend. Especially if it gets late like that.” Yuki pressed.
“What? We were just talking about a movie, what’s the big deal.” You nearly snapped at her. “And besides, Gaara is my friend, is it so wrong that I talk to him?” You ask.
“A friend, that you used to have a crush on. So yes, it is wrong. Especially because he is dating one of your friends.” Yuki said in a tone she thought was soothing. But honestly, it just made you mad.
“Whatever.” You said turning your back to her as you finished your drink. You quickly folded up your jacket and laid down on the ground with your back to Yuki, signaling that you were no longer going to participate in the conversation.
“I just want to make sure that you and Ami don’t end up fighting because of it.” Yuki tried once more to get your attention. You ignored her and quickly let yourself doze off.
The bell signaling the end of lunch quickly roused you from your sleep. You sat up and realized that there was another jacket draped across your legs.
“Morning sleepy head.” Mari teased as you gained your bearings back.
“You shouldn’t fall asleep in the open like that. You could get sick.” Gaara said as he offered you a hand to stand up. You took it and he hoisted you to your feet while you kept the jacket from falling to the ground.
“I take it, this, is yours then.” You said offering him the jacket back.
“You’d be right,” Gaara said as he took it from you. You leaned down and grabbed your own jacket as your group made its way down to your classrooms. You were holding the door for everyone and as Ami passed you, she gave you a glare that struck deep in your chest, before she joined up with Gaara lacing her fingers through his. You didn’t know that Ami could give such a look.
---
During the next few months, Gaara and Ami didn’t join your group as frequently at lunch, and when they did some friends from Gaara’s group would also join. You didn’t mind too much. It gave you the chance to meet more people. In particular, you liked it when Naruto, Kiba, and Choji joined your group. They made lunch a lively event. Soon thereafter, your group was adopted into Naruto’s group.
So lunch now became a decision to either eat on the roof or in the cafeteria. And to eat with Gaara and Ami, or to eat with friends from Naruto’s group. Never was a dull moment to be had amongst all of the new friends you had made.
July meant that temperatures were increasing and the end of the term was fast approaching. So lunches were now spent inside and the time for normally screwing around was instead used for studying. Most of your teachers were giving tests, but your history teacher decided to assign a partner project instead. You were paired up with Gaara and the two of you had been working closely together to hurry up and get it finished. One less thing for you guys to worry about.
During the school day, you would help your friends study, then after school, you and Gaara would go to one of your places to work on the project. This scheduling worked out and the two of you had the project completed a week before it was due.
“Thank goodness.” You cried as you saved the final parts of your project. “Now with this free time, I can focus on studying for my Math test. I hope it doesn’t kill me.” You complained as you packed up your things.
“Yeah, I promised Ami that I would help her study for her English test,” Gaara said with a blush on his face. You two quietly put your things away, then you turned and looked at him.
“You really like Ami, huh?” You asked him.
“Yeah, I really do.” He said turning to you with a large smile on his face.
“I’m glad.” You said to him, genuinely meaning it as a smile bloomed on your face. “Well, I’d better head home.” You told him as you left.
If someone told you this was the last positive interaction you would have with Gaara, maybe you would have left differently.
---
The week of testing flew by. You passed all of your classes, and that meant that you were free to enjoy your summer break. Upon talking with your friends you all made plans to go to the beach, the movies, and to find some time to hang out with each other in general. You were super excited to get to see them without the stress of tests looming over your heads, but the first week went by and you hadn’t heard anything from your friends. No big deal, most of them were probably visiting family or had other plans. It was fine. Week two rolled past and you hadn’t heard anything either. So you reached out to the group chat and dropped a message.
-------
TO: GROUP
Hope your breaks are going well
Anyone have a thought on when we should all meet up?
-------
No response.
Week three and you were tired of being at home with nothing to do. So your mom suggested you took your siblings down to the beach. Before the words left her mouth your two younger brothers were already screaming their joy.
The 5 and 8-year-old were just as ready to get out of the house as you were, so you agreed to take them. You packed a bag and changed into a pair of shorts and a tank top while your mom got the boys ready. Haru readily grabbed onto your hand while Tendo declared that as an 8-year-old, he was plenty big enough to walk without you (but he did hold it at intersections because fast traffic was scary he needed to keep you safe).
One train ride later you made it to the beach. Upon seeing the sand the two boys promptly took off. You chased after them and made sure they knew some ground rules before they took off again. You laid out a blanket and sat on it while you watched the two of them play in the sand and water. Getting out your phone you quickly checked for any new messages, seeing none you instead opened your camera and took pictures of your brothers and yourself to remember the day by.
Eventually, the boys were bored of playing by themselves so they came over to the blanket to see what you had packed for a snack. They each quickly devoured a granola bar before they were off to play, Tendo dragging you with. The three of you quickly built a sandcastle before barking in the distance drew your attention away.
“Puppy,” Haru said while he pointed up the beach. Running toward you was the largest dog you had ever seen before and its owner chasing right behind him. The dog was moving so quickly, it startled Tendo into hiding behind you and Haru and crawled into your lap attempting to avoid the dog as well. Just as the dog was upon you a loud and angry voice called.
“Akamaru, heel!” The dog skated to a stop, throwing sand everywhere and sitting right in front of you. Akamaru looked down at you, his nose nearly pressed to yours, and suddenly began licking all over your face pulling a squeal from your lips. Soon, Akamaru had you and Haru pinned to the ground while Tendo jumped away.
“Hey! What’s the big idea! Can’t you control your dog!” Tendo yelled as the owner walked up.
“My bad. He totally got away from me.” A familiar voice said.
“Kiba?” You asked, sitting up, Akamaru now back at his owner’s side.
“Hey! What are you doing here? I thought you said you couldn’t make it?” Kiba questioned as he helped you up from the sand.
“Couldn’t make it? What are you talking about?” You questioned as you set Haru down.
“To the beach party? Yuki, Ami, and Mari said that you caught that Summer cold that was going around and you wouldn’t make it. We were kinda bummed, you’re way more fun than some of the others-” Kiba stopped when he saw the look of confusion on your face. Thankfully, Akamaru was keeping the boys entertained while you dealt with this.
“Didn’t you see, the group chat?” Kiba now questioned while he pulled out his phone and handed it to you.
-------
TO: SUMMER PLANS 20XX
Ami- Okay, so let's meet up at the station
tomorrow and we can go to the beach together.
-------
Yuki- Does 10 am still work?
-------
Mari- Yup!
-------
Sasuke- We already decided this last week,
why the review.
-------
Shikamaru- Calm down, it helps to know we’re all on the same page.
-------
Choji- Yeah! Me and Shino will bring the snacks!
-------
Shino- Better to check now than to scramble tomorrow.
-------
Ino - Sakura and I will bring some drinks for everyone.
-------
Sakura- Hinata, Temari, you guys are bringing
the entertainment right?
-------
Temari- Yes, and Kankuro and Gaara will be bringing anything
extra we may need.
-------
Naruto- I’m so excited!!
-------
TO: SUMMER PLANS 20XX
Ha! Then we’re all set!
Also, I’m gonna bring Akamaru,
-------
You stopped reading and handed the phone back to Kiba. Your gut sank, and you could feel the tears prick the back of your eyes.
“I thought you were a part of this group too,” Kiba trailed off, soon realizing what had happened, “that's why we didn’t respond to your other group chat because everything was being planned here.” You shook your head and showed him your phone. No new chat. Kiba fidgeted with his device for a few more minutes.
“I’m sorry, that happened. Do you want to come back with me and join the others?” Kiba asked. He saw the tears forming and really didn’t want you to be upset.
“No,” You said, your voice breaking as you turned from him, “No, I-I, I think we’re gonna go home.” You wiped your eyes and moved back to where your things were. “Tendo! Haru! Are you ready to leave?” You asked your brothers. They could sense you were upset about something and decided that they weren’t going to argue to stay longer. You quickly packed up your things and began to leave.
“Hey!” Kiba yelled, gaining your attention, “I really am sorry about that.” You just shrugged your shoulders.
“What can you do?” You rhetorically asked, and walked away with Tendo and Haru.
The three of you made it home and you took your shoes off by the door, setting the bag down to be dealt with later.
“That was quick,” Your mom commented as Tendo and Haru brushed past her to go clean up. “Hardly a trip if you ask me.” You turned to face her and she saw the tears streaming down your face. You tried to keep it together during the journey home, not wanting to upset the boys. But your heart hurt.
“Oh honey, what happened.” At her soothing voice and sob ripped from your throat and you threw yourself into her arms.
Once you had calmed down, you told her what happened. After you explained everything, your mom sent you to wash up while she made dinner. That night you sat on the floor of the living room staring at your phone. Tendo came in and handed you a cup of hot chocolate.
“Mom says it’ll make you feel better.” He said with a shrug. You smiled at him and took the cup taking a sip.
“Did it work?” Tendo asked. You laughed and gave him a nod. Tendo stood next to you for a while longer before he sighed and leaned down wrapping his arms around you. You returned the hug and gave him a tight squeeze.
“I don’t like when you’re sad. So you get a hug, because I know they make you happy.” Tendo was not a big hugger, so it made this one more special to you. When he pulled away you promised him that you would make up the beach day to him later on. He smiled and took off to get ready for bed.
Tendo helped, but your heart still throbbed dully in your chest.
---
Soon summer break was over and it was back to school. You had spent the rest of the break by yourself or with your family. You watched via social media as your friends, again and again, hung out without you. They never texted you, and you were never added to the group chat. You thought that going back to school would be easy, and the weirdness from the summer would have worn off.
You were wrong.
When you got to class you saw that both Yuki and Gaara were there. So you approached them with a smile on your face, happy to see them again.
“Hey guys! How was the break?” You asked them. Gaara and Yuki looked at each other, then with a nod, Gaara left to take his seat. That was weird.
“Uh, did you do anything exciting over the break?” You tried again now that it was just you and Yuki.
“Not really,” She said dismissively while shifting away from you. “ But, um, there is something I need to talk to you about.” She said hesitantly.
“Oh, sure go ahead,” You began. However, Yuki didn’t get the chance as the teacher arrived ushering you all to your seats. This is weird, you thought to yourself
Classes went by quickly and soon it was lunchtime. You stood up from your seat ready to go meet with your friends to eat. You are stopped though when Yuki places her hand on your shoulder. You watch Yuki as she watches Gaara leave the classroom. You clear your throat and she looks back to you.
“Are we gonna go get food or?” You begin. Yuki lets out a sigh and turns her full attention to you.
“About earlier, I have something to tell you.” She starts again. The classroom is now empty, and a nervous ball has taken residence in your stomach.
“Ami doesn’t think you should eat lunch with us anymore,” Yuki says.
“What?” You question.
“Yeah, she says that you’ve been making Gaara uncomfortable, and thinks that it is best if you distance yourself from him.”
“And she couldn’t tell me that herself?” You demand.
“It’s just that, she thought you might get, hostile, like you are now, and didn’t want to put herself in a dangerous situation.”
“Hostile? Dangerous? What are you talking about?” You question again.
“Listen, Ami knows that you like Gaara, and at first it was fine, but you need to remember that she is dating him, not you.” Yuki says with a frustrated tone, “And Mari and I agree with her, so we want to distance ourselves from you too. Maybe once you apologize, we can be friends again.” Yuki says as if it is the easiest thing in the world.
“Apologize?! I don’t even know what I did wrong.” You practically yell.
“I’m sure,” Yuki flippantly responds. She quickly turns and walks away and you flop into your seat attempting to digest what just happened.
You stay seated there until the bell rings. Your classmates file back into the classroom and the school day continues. At the end of the day, Yuki and Gaara leave and join Ami and Mari outside your classroom. The four of them leave you behind, and you walk home by yourself.
You sat in your room quietly for a long time before you got your phone out.
-------
TO: Ami
Hey,
I know that you’re mad
But I don’t know why.
Can you just clue me in?
-------
Ami never responded. At three in the morning, you found yourself texting someone else.
-------
TO: Gaara
Hey, can we talk?
-------
TO: Me
...
About what?
-------
TO:Gaara:
I guess I’m a little confused
Yuki told me that I make you uncomfortable
Is that true?
-------
TO: Me
...
Yes
-------
TO: Gaara
What?
For how long?
Why didn’t you tell me earlier?
More importantly why?
-------
TO: Me
You know why.
-------
TO: Gaara
No, I don’t
I tried texting Ami and she isn’t responding.
...
Look, whatever it is,
Can you just tell me?
I can’t fix it if I don’t know.
-------
TO: Me
Maybe Ami has a reason not to respond
…
I think you do know what you did, and I don’t
want to be your friend anymore because of it.
Please delete my number.
-------
TO: Gaara
What?
C’mon this is crazy.
.
.
.
Gaara?
-------
Gaara stopped responding to your texts. Ami never returned your message. Yuki wasn’t answering either. Mari decided she didn’t want any part of it either. For the rest of the night you sat there and thought about what happened.
- Your friends don’t want to be friends anymore because of something that happened.
- Now you don’t have anyone to eat lunch with (or hang out with).
- But! You have new friends!
- Technically they are Gaara’s friends.
- Would they want to be your real friend now? Or would they take his side?
- You have no friends.
The next day at school you looked worse for wear. Safe to assume you did not sleep well at all. So once again, you numbly sat through class until lunch came around. Then, you were the first one out of your seat and walking toward the cafeteria. You got a tray of food and scanned a spot to sit. You noticed that Gaara’s group of friends are sitting at one of the large tables in the middle of the cafeteria. And you noticed that Ami wasn’t with him. Meaning she was most likely up on the roof. Alright, no cafeteria and no roof. Instead, you made your way to the courtyard and found a tree to sit under. This remained your routine until October rolled around, and it was just a bit too chilly to eat outside.
With a brave face, you took your tray and found an empty table to eat at. After 2 months, you have grown accustomed to eating by yourself. So you’re shocked when a head of black hair sits down in front of you. You blankly stare at Sasuke as he starts eating.
“You haven’t been around,” Sasuke dully says.
“Uh, yeah, apparently I’m not wanted around anymore.” You vaguely say as you pick at your food,
“Hn.” Sasuke utters, and you figure that is where it will end. “You’re wanted more than others.”
This took you by surprise, but it did bring a smile to your face.
You remained friendly with Sasuke, he appreciated that you were quiet in comparison to other students. He wasn’t the only one that liked your mellow personality. Frequently Shikamaru, Shino, and Hinata would join you and Sasuke when the other group grew too rambunctious.
---
The end of the term was once again near and you thought that this meant whatever happened at the start of the term would be over. But it seemed like you were still being proven wrong.
During your history class your teacher announced that the last projects were so successful, he wanted you all to do them again. This would prove what you learned this term as well as show how you improved since the last term. He said that you would have the same partners as last time. Hope grew in your chest as your head quickly swiveled toward Gaara. Everyone else in the room moved to locate their partners, while you sat and stared at Gaara. He stared at the teacher before Gaara got up and walked toward him. You watched as Gaara quietly spoke to the teacher. The teacher looked concerned before he turned and looked at you nodding to what Gaara was saying. The teacher patted Gaara on the shoulder and gave a nod. Gaara bowed and then made his way to his seat avoiding looking at you the entire time.
“Shikamaru and Gaara, due to a conflict, the two of you will be switching partners.” Your teacher announced to the whole of the class. You whipped your head to look at Gaara, blatant shock on your face, while the rest of the class whispered about what the conflict could be. Eventually, you gathered your things and sat with Shikamaru.
Honestly, this project wasn’t nearly as successful as the last one. Not that Shikamaru wasn’t a good partner, he was, it’s just that he isn’t as driven as Gaara was. The two of you get the project done in your spare time, and you finish out the term.
Your grades weren’t as strong this term, but your parents understood you were going through a lot. But with your new-found group of friends, you strongly finished the school year and graduated. You wanted to get away from everyone and try to put the past year behind you. So you decided to move to the next town over in pursuance of an art degree. Your parents hoped that starting University would be better for you.