Work Text:
[Hot Girl Shit]
Komori:
Suna
I can’t take this anymore
Suna:
good morning to you too
Komori:
Yes good sarcastic morning to you as well
Now focus
Suna:
that’s where I draw the line
focus is too much to ask for before 9am
Komori:
I got woken up by my cousin at 7
So catch the fuck up
Suna:
what the fuck? why?
Komori:
Your toxic blonde high school buddy
Suna:
hey don’t call him that
Komori:
I mean, he is a toxic blonde
Suna:
no, the other part
Komori:
LOL you’re the worst
Suna:
┐(︶▽︶)┌
so what did that idiot do now?
Komori:
It’s actually more Sakusa’s fault
He joined MSBY
Suna:
well that’s a disaster waiting to happen
Komori:
Suna I don’t think I’ll survive this
He’s been on the team a week and he’s already
been over to my apartment twice
At like ass o’clock in the morning
To whine about sexual tension
Suna:
does he actually call it ‘sexual tension’?
Komori:
That would require a level of self-awareness that
Sakusa does not possess
He calls it ‘irritation’
Suna:
on-brand I guess
what did u tell him?
Komori:
That boys are mean when they like someone
He made this face at me
[image324009.jpg]
Suna:
LOL
what the hell when is that picture even from?
Komori:
He makes that face a lot
Suna:
also on-brand
Komori:
Suna I’m never going to get to sleep in again
Suna:
my sympathies for your loss
Komori:
Ugh I hate you
Suna:
♡( ◡‿◡ )
----
NumberOneMiya posted:
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Welcome to the Black Jackals @SakusaKiyoomi!!
OnigiriMiya: why’d ya hafta waste good pie like that Tsumu
BokutoBeam: It was such a fun welcome party!!!! Welcome to the team, Sakusa!!!!!
SakusaKiyoomi: Take this shit down, Miya
KORAI_OFFICIAL: SAKUSA YOU WILL SCARE THE CHILDREN LIKE THAT
Kageyama_Tobio: that’s Sakusa-san?
Meian_Official: under the whipped cream, yeah -__-
thereal_SunaRin: hey @MementoKomori, u seen this?
MementoKomori: lol now there’s a new facial expression
----
[Hot Girl Shit]
Suna:
I need help
Komori:
Admitting you have a problem is the first step
We’ll get through this together
Suna:
Atsumu is here with panic sweets
also fuck u
Komori:
Panic sweets?
Suna:
he stress bakes
Komori:
Save me some cheesecake (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧
Suna:
fuck u and your tiny eyebrows
Komori:
Well why is he panicking? What did he do?
Suna:
he’s a bisexual disaster who hit the object of his
affections in the face with a pie
Komori:
Oh, that
Suna:
Komori I’m drowning in chocolate chips what do I DO
Komori:
Okay okay
Here, this is Sakusa’s ridiculous seaweed face wash
[Image3850009.jpg]
Tell him to buy this and write a formal apology note
Emphasis on FORMAL
And maybe delete the photo
Although it pains me to see such
good material go to waste
Wtf did he think was going to happen?
Suna:
Atsumu thinks he’s a lot more charming than he is
Komori:
Why does that not surprise me
Suna:
he finally left me alone
thanks
Komori:
People always said I should use my powers for good
Suna:
LOL
Suna:
so do u actually want some of this cheesecake?
Komori:
(✧ᴗ✧)
----
MementoKomori posted:
[Image3680008.jpg]
[Image3680009.jpg]
After-practice boba with my fellow mean girl! 💅🥤✨
- with @thereal_SunaRin
thereal_SunaRin: why is there no boba emoji? rude 😤😘
BokutoBeam: hey, I can see Washio in the reflection too!! HI WASHIO!!!
KitaShinsuke: Glad to see you making friends, Suna.
NumberOneMiya: KITA??? Since when do you have social media?
thereal_SunaRin: lol
----
[Hot Girl Shit]
Komori:
Ok so you know how Sakusa is like
Not great at the whole ‘people’ thing?
Suna:
it’s hard to miss
Komori:
Right
Well
He thought Atsumu’s attention to
his skin care routine was sweet
Suna:
oops
Komori:
And may or may not have called me in
the midst of a gay panic
Suna:
oh god
Komori:
And decided to turn to the internet when I had
insufficient advice for him
Suna:
oh fuck
Komori:
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/kk
--->Posted by user Anonymous:
My (22M) teammate (22M) is making me sick
My (22M) teammate (22M) and I have known each other since high school. We met at Nationals our first year but we didn’t even speak until we went to a training camp together in our second year. He told me I have nice bone structure (I’m double jointed). I told him not to talk to me. We played against each other only once, the outcome of the match is irrelevant (my team did win, though). I went to university after I graduated, but I just joined the pros and as luck would have it, the two of us have ended up on the same team. Now that I’m being forced to spend time with him, I find him even more irritating than I used to. He’s loud and obnoxious, he has no respect for personal space, he has horrible fashion sense, he calls me a truly awful nickname, and he always has his tongue hanging out of his mouth for some godforsaken reason. Also, at my welcome party, he hit me with a pie.
The thing is, lately when I see him, I start to feel ill. I get palpitations in my chest and get kind of queasy. I’ve started taking my pulse and it elevates when he’s nearby - which, again, could just be the aggravation talking because - and I cannot stress this enough - he is one of the most inarguably irritating people on the planet.
TL;DR: I think I’m having a negative psychosomatic reaction to my teammate’s presence. Is it worth quitting the team over, potentially giving up my dream at a pro career, or is it the sort of thing I can build up a physical resistance to?
--->Top response from ItsMeDee:
bro… u ok? pretty sure u just have a crush, u might
need to smoke some weed and meditate or smth
[Hot Girl Shit]
Suna:
he went to REDDIT?
Komori:
I KNOW
Suna:
THE Sakusa… is on /reddit/???
Komori:
Listen while I can appreciate your shock and awe
I am once again asking you to FOCUS, Suna
Suna:
I mean why does he need my help?
the internet will clearly solve this problem,
as it always does
Komori:
The number of ways this could go wrong
is astronomical
One of the top contenders, by the way, is that
he glares holes in Atsumu and you end up
with three times the panic cheesecake
Suna:
ugh okay fine
what are we gonna do?
----
@undercover_SunaRin writes: how do you get two Disaster Gays
to fall for each other in January?
|
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@undercover_SunaRin replied: put them on ice
----
MementoKomori posted:
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Who knew Osaka was such a small place? @SakusaKiyoomi and I had SO
MUCH FUN running into these guys at the outdoor rink today! - with
@NumberOneMiya @thereal_SunaRin @OnigiriMiya @AkaashiKeiji
BokutoBeam: Wow Tsum-Tsum!! I didn’t know you could skate!!!
AkaashiKeiji: Yes, both Miyas are quite proficient. I was surprised.
SakusaKiyoomi: Take this shit down, Komori.
NumberOneMiya: ooh, family name, he must be serious. I’d do what he says, Komori.
OnigiriMiya: yer just sayin that cause that’s you beefin it in the last shot
NumberOneMiya: SHUT THE FUCK UP, SAMU
----
“Remind me again why we invited Osamu and Akaashi?” Komori asks, still grinning at the comments as they pop up on his phone screen. “I mean, not that I mind. They certainly helped mellow out the whole event.”
“If it had just been me asking, ‘Tsumu definitely would’ve gotten suspicious. And ‘Samu’s always down to help get one over on his idiot twin.” Suna cracks a smirk and glances at Komori’s reflection in the window of the bullet train they’re riding home. “Also, it was funny.”
“It was,” his seatmate agrees with enthusiasm and if it makes something in Suna’s grin turn a little soft, it’s hidden by the angle he’s sitting at. “The whole day was really fun, actually.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah!” Motoya’s wearing that blinding, genuine smile he always sprouts after an especially good play. Suna almost doesn’t notice the way he turns to face it when the phone gets shut off and tucked away; his motivations pull on the edge of his awareness and he reaches for the bag of gummy candy between their seats to distract himself.
“I guess you and Sakusa are pretty close, huh?”
“Well yeah, but”--Komori pauses, glances down to watch Suna’s hand searching through the plastic packaging--”I had fun with you, too. Planning and on the train down, and stuff.”
There’s a stutter in Rintarou’s movement during which both of them look at the packet he’s withdrawn from the bigger bag, its bright purple color denoting its contents’ flavor: grape. “Me too,” he says and neither of them comment on the fact that his voice is a hair quieter than unusual. He unwraps his candy and when he has it hovering just in front of his barely-parted lips, he realizes Motoya’s watching him.
“You want to go on another trip next time we have a few days off?” the libero asks and Suna meets his eyes, pale green on slate grey. After a split second, he looks away again.
“Yeah, sounds fun,” he says and punctuates the statement by popping his candy into his mouth, flashing a rare, genuine smile around his puffed cheek.
Komori sprouts that beaming smile again but it goes sinister a second later, his eyes slanting like he's the cat that caught the canary.
“You wanna see the other shots of Atsumu face planting on the rink?”
“You were holding out on me?!” Suna balks, offense only half-feigned. “You little weasel!”
“Hey, I’m huge for a weasel,” Komori suppresses a cackle that comes out quietly through his teeth and obligingly unlocks his phone. “That was clever, by the way, getting Atsumu to offer to teach Sakusa how to skate,” he muses while he pulls up the photos.
“Are you kidding? The second he found out Mr. Tall, Dark and Gloomy didn’t know how, you could see the desperation pouring off of him,” Rintarou huffs a laugh and gives a pronounced suck on his candy. “I barely had to do any of the work.”
“He is notoriously easy to bait,” Komori agrees and leans almost imperceptibly into his co-conspirator’s shoulder. “Sakusa probably would’ve killed me for mentioning it if he wasn’t so internally giddy about getting his hand held.”
Suna’s nose wrinkles. “Gross.”
“Yeah,” Motoya agrees readily and with a smirk as he pulls up a picture of the two of them, Atsumu smiling wide at a wobbly-kneed Kiyoomi on the ice. “Kinda cute, though.”
“Yeah,” Rintarou says a little more softly than he means to and looks down at the top of Komori’s head. “Kinda cute.”
----
[Espionage and Shit]
Suna:
MOTOYA
Komori:
RINTAROU
WHY ARE WE YELLING?
Suna:
Sakusa updated his reddit post
Komori:
Really??!
Wait, do you have an alert for it or something?
Suna:
hell yeah
I’m invested in this trainwreck now
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/kk
---->Updated by user Anonymous:
When I made the original post I got some very unhelpful advice, so I haven’t tried again. Some things have changed in the last month, though and I’m somewhat at a loss. I’m hoping these updates might net me some actually useful information.
I’ve been keeping a record of strange things I’ve noticed when I’m around my teammate. He’s still obnoxious, but the things he does don’t bother me… quite as much as they used to. When he invades my personal space my pulse still jumps and as a delightful added bonus (the ‘delightful’ is sarcastic), my temperature spikes now too. What’s worse is that he seems to be doing it more frequently. In contrast, he seems to be making sure fans don’t get too close to me at events. I thought he was just trampling on boundaries like usual, but now I’m not sure. I think he might be running interference for me.
Last week I heard him talking to the custodian at our practice gym about refilling the soap dispensers in the bathrooms more often, which now I think might be because I have this thing about clean hands. He also recently started ordering for me at his brother’s restaurant and I thought that was obnoxious, but he gets the order correct every time. That’s also been causing uncomfortable temperature fluctuations that I am not at all a fan of. My cousin forced us into ice skating together (it’s a long story) and afterwards I was certain I had a fever but then I didn’t and that same cousin has been teasing me about it ever since.
TL;DR: I still think I’m sick, but maybe he’s sick too? I don’t even know anymore. What the fuck?
--->Top response from ItsMeDee:
lol yeah my dude… LOVEsick. I take it back, y’all need to smoke
that weed together and see where the sexual tension takes u
[Espionage and Shit]
Komori:
Wow
If he’s going to survive on the internet,
he really needs to be less specific
Suna:
it’s progress, though
not for his reddit career, but the gay panic part
I guess both, actually
he could be memeing by next week
Komori:
If you send screenshots of this to anyone,
Sakusa will kill me
And I will haunt you
Suna:
aw・:*(〃∇〃人)*:・
Komori:
Rintarou
Suna:
I’m a goth, Motoya
you’re basically flirting with me
Komori:
RIN
Suna:
okay okay
so what next?
Komori:
Hmm…
Suna:
hmm?
Komori:
Well… I mean, it feels like they just
need one more push
But I’m not sure what that should be?
Suna:
I think, maybe… it might be time to be mean
Komori:
(｡･｀ω´･｡)
----
BokutoBeam posted:
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@SakusaKiyoomi has a secret admirer!!! :D!!
TetsukoKuroo: wow, that’s one hell of an arrangement. U gonna get me one too, babe? 😘
AkaashiKeiji: It certainly is. The lilacs are beautiful.
SakusaKiyoomi: Take this shit down, Bokuto.
MementoKomori: wooow, snagged a romantic this time, huh Sakusa? (｡•̀ᴗ-)
BokutoBeam: @TetsukoKuroo I’ll get you three!!!!
TetsukoKuroo: babe no, the apartment isn’t big enough (ｏ__ｏ;;)
----
[Espionage and Shit]
Suna:
[Image490035.jpg]
Panic sweets successfully acquired
Komori:
Mwahaha
Excellent
Suna:
now come help me eat this
Komori:
(╯✧∇✧)╯
----
“I don’t think it’s him, Motoya.”
“So what if it’s not? You said you didn’t like him, so why does that matter?”
“Because I…”
“Because you…?”
“.....”
“Oh my god, you do like him!”
“You sound like a middle schooler.”
“You and I both know you didn’t talk about crushes in middle school.”
“I suppose not.”
“So do you like him or not?”
“I… he’s…”
“Talented? Hot? Dedicated to the sport you’ve committed yourself to? A lovable idiot?”
“Miya Atsumu.”
“That is his name, yes.”
“Motoya.”
“Kiyoomi. ”
“You really are no help at all.”
“You’re just stubborn.”
“Ugh, fine.”
----
@Undercover_Tsumu writes: what’s even the point?
|
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@OnigiriMiya replied: god yer hopeless. Just ask him out already, ya drip.
|
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@Undercover_Tsumu replied: SHUT THE FUCK UP, SAMU
|
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@OnigiriMiya replied: I’m just sayin… at this rate, I’m gonna win
----
@Undercover_SunaRin writes: too easy
----
NumberOneMiya posted:
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Turns out this guy’s just as camera shy as the fish… ain’t he cute, folks?
- with @SakusaKiyoomi at Osaka Aquarium Kaiyukan
Meian_Official: never thought I’d agree with that but it’s hard not to with the bucket hat
BokutoBeam: ohhh!! Fishies!! Can we go too @TetsukoKuroo???
SakusaKiyoomi: (￢ ￢)
NumberOneMiya: @SakusaKiyoomi ( ^ヮ^)♡
thereal_SunaRin: this is actually nauseating
MementoKomori: agreed
OnigiriMiya: agreed
----
[Espionage and Shit]
Suna:
fucking finally
that was exhausting
Komori:
lol yeah, kinda
It was fun, though
Suna:
yeah, it kinda was
Suna:
Hey, Motoya
Can I take you to dinner?
Komori:
Yes, obviously
Suna:
oh my god
Komori:
I was starting to worry you’d never ask
Suna:
I like to be fashionably late
Komori:
Gay
Suna:
lol whatever
Saturday? I’ll pick you up at 8?
Komori:
Perfect (* ˘︶˘ *)
----
MementoKomori posted:
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Someone got all dressed up for me. :3c - with @thereal_SunaRin
OnigiriMiya: didn’t know ya owned clothes without spikes on em, Suna
thereal_SunaRin: even I can tone it down for company that deserves it
OnigiriMiya: @thereal_SunaRin sap
KORAI_OFFICIAL: I WOULD LIKE TO SEE THE SPIKES NEXT TIME
Kageyama_Tobio: You both look very nice.
NumberOneMiya: oh god, you two? I’ll never have peace again
SakusaKiyoomi: Agreed.
SakusaKiyoomi: But also… congratulations.
MementoKomori: ♡( ◡‿◡ )