Archive of Our Own ^beta

ARROW 1 (10TH GRADE)

The first try goes something like this:

Jeno sneaks up onto his high school's rooftop after passing a lame excuse of needing to speak to a teacher to his best friend, Donghyuck. Donghyuck lets him off with a squint and prolonged "Okay" that made Jeno way more nervous than he ever was (even more than when he attended his first archery competition). He snaps his fingers and feels the familiar weight of his quiver suddenly appear around his thigh, the arrows clicking against each other and making little sounds similar to that of wind-chimes blowing gently in the wind. His bow was smooth against his rough hands which was kind of an unnecessary reminder to Jeno of how soft his hands were.

"Snap out of it Jeno," he mutters, stopping himself from getting lost in another daydream about him .

Him .

Jeno's longtime crush with a laugh that could be its own melody to Jeno's new favorite song, a personality larger than life and energy seemingly endless, and a warmth hotter than the sun itself. 

Him.

The boy who was blessed with immense wit and humor, and somehow also cursed with a confusing amount of obliviousness that seemed to be reserved just to combat Jeno's pining.

Him.

With brown hair bedazzled with rainbow streaks.

With eyes that were honestly just melted pools of milk chocolate and a spot of whipped cream.

With lips colored red like the apparently organic and overwhelmingly sweet strawberries they serve at the cafeteria during lunch.

With a speed that’s going increasingly faster away from Jeno and shit, he damn near forgot his actual purpose coming up on the rooftop.

Jeno lifts one of his arrows up and holds it in place against his bow. The heart shaped tip pointed at the beautiful arch of his target’s back. The same curve that Jeno finds himself lying on everytime he hangs out at his house, whether his parents knew of it or not.

He pulls back the bow’s string, taut against his fingers and he feels his heart squeeze just as tight. He’s trembling a little and he curses himself internally for not putting on his jacket first, but the back was becoming smaller and smaller in the distance and Jeno needs to make this happen.

So he squints his eyes and with a small exhale, lets go.

And when he watches the arrow whizz past Donghyuck’s right ear and stab stubbornly into the perfect and straight posture of one of Jeno’s classmates, he reminds himself to put in his contacts that fix his astigmatism next time.

Turns out, the person Jeno accidentally shot was his Biology seatmate, Huang Renjun.

Apparently one of the toughest guys on campus who has people ducking away from his line of sight—despite it being a lot shorter than most—and more than one group chat gossiping away about those who have a grudge against him, those who like him, and those who are Na Jaemin, who are all of the above. But, ever since last week, there have been more than one eyewitness testimony of Renjun seeing Jaemin and then running away, which is somehow more worrying and weird than seeing Renjun blush.

Jeno didn’t ask to learn all of this by the way.

Chenle just has a very bad habit of keeping his nose to his own (Jisung’s is included in Chenle’s definition of own ) business. Jeno tells him as much over the Thursday bowls of hot mac and cheese, topped with bacon and crushed Cheesy Nacho Dorito chips. Chenle empties his apple juice carton, making the disgusting sound of a straw sucking on air and the last two droplets of substance, chucks it into the trash can as if it was a basketball, and answers Jeno with a smile, “God gave me a mouth and I’m going to make it everyone else’s problem.”

And so he does.

For the rest of the week, Jeno learns more about Huang Renjun and his weird tension with Na Jaemin more than he even learned about him in Biology, or even just Biology at that point. He could probably tell you the exact number of times Jaemin watches Renjun’s lips as he speaks during History presentations better than he could tell you the number of electrons Oxygen has (16 he learns after a quick search on Google, which happens to coincide with the actual number of times of Jaemin staring at Renjun’s lips). But, more importantly, Jeno learns about how for the first time in years since the two’s relationship got off on the wrong foot, Renjun actually spoke more than three words to Jaemin and more than half were good things.

Another week later, Jeno, along with quite possibly the rest of the entire school, watches Jaemin land a small kiss on Renjun’s forehead in front of the elder’s locker. Renjun, in turn, wraps his arms around Jaemin’s neck, not without a little bit of tiptoeing, and brings him in for a full one. The whole school watches, holding in their breath before finally releasing it as the two separate. Renjun’s tongue peeks out to poke at the side of his lips, before grabbing his Calculus textbook and shutting his locker with a bang.

“Save me a spot at lunch. Don’t forget you have a test in Econ today, Jaem.”

“Sure thing, honeycakes.”

Someone squeals from the bottom of the staircase near the lockers and that breaks the tense atmosphere. Everyone starts to chatter about the two and Jeno rolls his eyes at how invested people were in other people’s love lives.

Jeno watches Renjun and Jaemin go their separate ways, and if he stares hard enough, he can see the faint red line looping around Jaemin’s pinky and connecting him all the way to around the pink arrow stuck in Renjun’s back.

“Guess they were soulmates,” he mutters to himself.

The bell rings and Donghyuck comes crashing into the front gates.

His look today was cute.

Haphazardly put on clothes (Jeno helps him correctly fit his buttons), bed hair (Jeno whips out the comb he carries with him specifically for this purpose), a piece of toast in his mouth (Jeno jokes that he looks like one of those anime girls), and a twinkle in his eyes that Jeno thinks he doesn't mind falling in love with all over again (Jeno knows he doesn’t).

ARROW 2 (10TH GRADE)

“First the worst. Second the best,” as they say.

Jeno isn’t so sure if that’s really the case, but a consensus always appeals to his indecisive and constantly slightly confused or unsure self. In fact, he’s sure of maybe three things:

1. His name is Jeno Lee.
2. His best friend’s name is Lee Donghyuck. He’s 17 and was a summer baby (Jeno devotes an hour of everyday planning out Donghyuck’s 18th birthday). His star sign is a Gemini and his blood type is AB. His MBTI is ENFP. He used to live in Jeju for a bit. He’s smart and witty. He’s mischievous and super charming. He loves eating. He loves music and dancing. He loves playing games and nothing has stopped him from calling Jeno in the late hours of the night asking if he wanted to play a round with him. He’s gorgeous and knows just how to use innocent and sweet looks to get what he wants from Jeno, such as playing a round with him in the late hours of the night because no matter how badly Jeno loves sleep, he’ll always love Donghyuck more. 
3. Oh yeah, he’s in love with Donghyuck.

There isn’t a single iota of doubt in his mind that he was, both fortunately and unfortunately, in love with his best friend-since-diapers. Fortunately in that at least Jeno knows who he wants to spend the rest of his life and every single other lives after this one—if you like to believe in those things—with Donghyuck. Unfortunately in that he also knows that Donghyuck was the densest and most oblivious thing in the world, contrary to what Google claims is osmium.

He’s tried everything to get Donghyuck to know, at least even the faintest idea, that Jeno is terribly in love with him, has been ever since Jeno opened his little infant eyes after a good, long nap one day to see another infant sitting in his crib. His brown curls were the same color as his eyes and the small bear onesie he was wearing. But despite the rest of his memory being hazy and just photographs—flashbulb memories—of all the important events in his life, the first time he met Donghyuck as the gentle afternoon sun bathed the room and most importantly, Donghyuck in shades of gold, is as clear and translucent as morning dew.

With every birthday they celebrated together, Jeno learned slowly and tearfully how painful it was to be in love. He remembered his third-grade self sobbing into his mother’s dress for a reason unclear to her and horribly clear to him after Donghyuck had spilled out the secret he’s been keeping so energetically in his heart for exactly an hour in their secret spot.

Donghyuck had held Jeno’s hands firmly in his own and whispered excitedly, “I kissed a girl Jen! I think I’m in love. I’m going to marry her one day and you can be my best man because you’re my best friend!”

In the plastic orange tube in the middle of the playground near Donghyuck’s home, Jeno had felt for the first time the pain of a heart shattering into a million pieces.

But when tomorrow came, Donghyuck had completely forgotten about the girl he had kissed, busying himself with playing cops and robbers with Jeno and kissing Jeno’s scrapes and bruises better.

When they were fifteen, Jeno brought the incident up after a particularly nasty fall from his skateboard. Donghyuck, who was fussing over his bloody and dirty hands and knees and rummaging through his parents’ bathroom for all of the first aid equipment he could find, paused to look at him weirdly and called him a “silly, gullible boy” before turning his attention back to the instructions label of a bottle of 3% hydrogen peroxide.

Jeno had hummed in agreement that he was a “silly, gullible boy”. Silly and gullible enough to believe for a full second that maybe if he scraped his mouth the next time, Donghyuck would kiss him better.

Jeno’s second attempt of using his Cupid powers, that he definitely uses for important tasks like maintaining the delicate balance of soulmate love in the world or helping people be happy through love and not small, personal things like getting his best friend to take his confessions seriously for once, was not the best.

It wasn’t even that far off from the first, which is, according to the rhyme, “the worst”.

It happened during archery practice. Their coach had just let them on a little break and Jeno had decided to take full advantage of the ten minutes they’ve been given after two hours of grueling, nonstop practice. He’s half sure that half of his brain has melted under the hot sun so he desperately rushed to the bathroom to soak his towel. Not even a second after he had laid his towel over his eyes and sighed in relief, he had felt someone gently rest their chin on his shoulder and icy fingers slip through his thin shirt and settle around his stomach, very blatantly feeling his abs up.

He had sighed into the air and took the towel off his face, to stare disappointingly through the mirror at Donghyuck who had taken full liberty of his best friend pass to use Jeno as his personal space heater. “Hiya Jen. How’s practice?”

“You know I’m really sweaty right now right? So get off me or don’t complain to me about how my “boy smell” is passed to you later.”

Donghyuck whined, “I don’t do that. Plus, Ms. Park’s classroom is way too fucking cold and I really hate having to sit detention in her room of all places the hallway monitor could throw me into.”

Jeno sighed, wrapped his towel around his neck, and trudged his way out of the bathroom, letting Donghyuck clamber onto his back and nuzzle his head into Jeno’s neck. “It’s your fault you got caught sneaking out to go buy snacks.”

Donghyuck blew a raspberry into Jeno’s ear making the older make a small noise of complaint. He giggled, “You should be thanking me bitch. I landed myself in detention just so I could buy you your favorite snacks so we can eat them after your practice.”

Jeno felt his heart quicken and his face grow warm, very warm. So warm he sent a little prayer to the heavens to let Donghyuck think his face and neck is only that hot because of the temperature and totally not because of his big, fat crush.

“Sure sure. Thank you Hyuck. Should I kiss the ground you walk on?”

“Fuck yeah you should, but I don’t think the public would approve so I’ll take a free piggyback ride home.”

“You’re already getting one right now,” Jeno whined, knowing he’d more than happily carry Donghyuck home even if he doesn’t sound like it.

Donghyuck knew it too and the little menace just cackled. He started to squirm in a silent request for Jeno to let him off, which Jeno complies quickly to. The boy rounded around and grabbed Jeno’s face, squishing what little cheek fat Jeno hasn’t melted off yet. “Have fun for the rest of practice idiot. Come pick me up from detention after.”

And Jeno, poor, poor Jeno who’s so weak to Donghyuck, just nodded dumbly and resisted the urge to swing down and kiss him senseless. Donghyuck smiled and skipped off towards Ms. Park’s classroom, calling out to Jeno to not get hurt.

Jeno felt his fingers twitch a little as he watched his best friend skip away, so he gave in.

Snapped his fingers and magic pulsated all around him, matching in tune with his heartbeat.

With the heart-shaped tip aimed at the black fabric of Donghyuck’s—actually Jeno’s—hoodie (Jeno files away a reminder to tell Donghyuck later of how they're not supposed to wear other clothes over their uniform) he squinted and pulled his arm back.

He fired.

Jeno watched in slow motion as the arrow sliced through the air at lightning speeds, but fate was clearly having a bad day as Donghyuck suddenly crouched down to tie his shoelace and the arrow whizzed past the top of hair. A small brown curl lifted gently into the wind before settling back down. Donghyuck turned around, grinned, and gave Jeno a thumbs up, “Real nice of you to not tell me my shoelace is untied, but nice try Jen. You’re never gonna catch me falling.”

Jeno gave a small smile and a weak wave as his best friend disappeared into the ice cold classroom where the rest of his detention awaited him. He sighed and nearly jumped out of his skin as his coach roared his name and a command to come back to practice through the school hallways. He whisked away his celestial tools and hurried back, missing the aftermath of his second attempt.

On the other side of the hallway, the senior class president Taeyong slipped the small letter he had been previously unsure to give or not into a locker. He worried his lips a bit before turning to run home, a baby pink arrow pinned to his shoulder. 

A minute later, locker 127’s owner, a boy with deep dimples and a gentle smile rushed out the door after Taeyong with an equally baby pink letter in hand. The swirls of Taeyong’s signature written in sparkly red gel pen glittered under the sun as Jaehyun ran as fast as he could, red string looped around his pinky tugging in the wind.

ARROW 3 (11TH GRADE)

A year later, Jeno tries again.

School just ended and the two burst out of their classrooms in excitement to meet each other in the hallway and race down the staircase to determine the final winner of their races before spring break.

Donghyuck wins and Jeno pouts at him, internally screaming at how cute Donghyuck looked sticking his tongue out. If Jeno had pretended to slip to fall behind Donghyuck a little and let him win, it’s no one but Jeno’s business. And he intends on keeping it that way.

The two skip (there’s more skipping on Donghyuck’s part but after some convincing, Jeno skips with him, albeit a bit more awkwardly) out of the front gate and to the little convenience store next to their school. They bicker over what snacks to buy before just settling on what they always get: a soda for Donghyuck, an iced water for Jeno, two family-sized bags of chip, one cup of large-sized ramen, and a handful of candy to share. As Jeno pays for their food, he keeps Donghyuck in his peripheral vision as the boy heads to the machines and cooks their ramen. He gets his receipt and wishes the employee a great day, holding two bags of food in one hand so his other could hold Donghyuck’s. The smaller blows at their ramen before looping his hand into Jeno’s and tugging him out of the shop, towards their bus stop. Jeno tries not to blush at the knowing stare the cashier gives them.

As Donghyuck mutters to himself about which way he should hold the ramen, Jeno suddenly feels like thanking his parents for making the decision to move their family into the same little cul-de-sac as Donghyuck, only a year after Donghyuck’s “first kiss” confession in the playground. He remembers how excited he was when he learned that he no longer had to beg his parents to drive him to Donghyuck’s house or let him come over and could just run across his yard to find his best friend waiting for him on his doorstep. He remembers the countless “secret” sleepovers they’d have that only increased in number as they grew older and could do without a whole ass trampoline and ladder to get to the other’s bedroom. They’d share Donghyuck’s secret stockpile of candy or Jeno’s comics as they play fight or whisper stories to the other before falling asleep and getting caught by the other’s parents anyways.

But the biggest blessing of living so near Donghyuck was that Jeno gets to take the bus home with him. The two would always hurry to grab their seats (the two seats at the back of the bus on the right side with Donghyuck in the window seat and Jeno on his right) before sharing the food they bought and Donghyuck’s airpods (Jeno keeps losing his) to listen to whatever new song or podcast the younger found. Occasionally, they’d even watch an episode of a drama together before rushing into Jeno’s house to continue binging it, homework disregarded. Sometimes, when Jeno was too tired after practice, Donghyuck would whip out the neck pillow he always brought with him whenever Jeno had practice and Jeno would fall asleep to the sound of lofi music or the combination of some stand-up comedian’s skit and Donghyuck giggling (if you ask him, Jeno prefers listening to his laughter than anything else but then again, he’s very biased). And when Donghyuck was tired, Jeno would lend him his shoulder and a comforting silence, occasionally interrupted when a sleepy Donghyuck decided to sing a small lullaby to himself. So many of Jeno’s favorite memories happened in that small little bus, wheels rolling and squeaking them all the way home.

Today was no different.

They stomp onto the bus, Donghyuck hurriedly rushing to snatch their spots as Jeno pays for the both of them. The boy waves at Jeno from the back and Jeno rolls his eyes. “I know where our seats are Hyuck.”

He sets their snacks and his backpack on the floor, his black Jansport bag an identical match to Donghyuck’s (they’ve never missed a single year of having matching backpacks). He plops into the seat and Donghyuck shoves a fork that had been twirled a few times into the hot ramen into his mouth, “You’re a little old Jeno. I’m just worried you might forget one day.”

“I’m literally only like two months older than you,” Jeno spits back in between his chews. Count on Donghyuck to make the ramen very spicy.

Donghyuck slurps up some noodles and coughs. He shakes his head when Jeno tries to give him some water, “Still older, hag. You’ll be the first to be in a nursing home than me.”

Jeno snorts and rips open a bag of Doritos, “I’ll save you a bed next to mine.”

The two of them laugh as Donghyuck punches him lightly in the shoulder, “Asshole you better or else our eighty years of friendship would go down the drain. You wouldn’t let that happen now would you?”

“If you don’t give me my eraser back, maybe.”

The younger feigns innocence, “What eraser?”

“Oh fuck off! I lost my bear shaped eraser a week ago and I know you have it!”

Donghyuck smiles sweetly though Jeno doesn’t miss the telltale glimmer of mischief in his eyes, “I have no idea what you’re talking about Jeno sweetie.”

“I’m eating the rest of these snacks myself,” Jeno huffs, turning his body to face the other chairs in the bus instead of his potentially-a-kleptomaniac of a best friend. Donghyuck giggles and that has Jeno going back to his original position, eyes narrowed at his best friend but hand extending a Dorito for Donghyuck to eat.

“I can always trust you to feed me,” Donghyuck sighs happily and takes the chip from Jeno’s fingers with his mouth.

Jeno crams his mouth with more chips and mutters, face red, “Can’t let you starve.”

A few minutes later and a ramen and half of a family-sized Dorito bag is demolished, Donghyuck announces for both Jeno and the rest of the bus to hear that he’s going to take a nap. He clicks open his airpod case, held snugly in a transparent case decorated with small bear stickers Jeno gifted him on his 16th birthday when Donghyuck went bat shit insane over stationary and cartoon bears, and lets Jeno put them into their ears as he swipes through his playlist specifically titled “NONO MUSIC RECS” to find the latest songs he added. Today’s first song was a gentle love song in a language Jeno didn’t understand but could tell so easily the song was about loving someone so deeply, them being away hurts deeply. He feels Donghyuck drop his head on his shoulder with a light sigh and Jeno puts his head on top, the melody of the piano lulling Donghyuck into sleep and snatching up Jeno and throwing him into his memories.

Donghyuck has been with him for as long as Jeno could remember.

He was there for every big moment in Jeno’s life, from birthdays to lost teeth to holidays. Jeno learned in his psychology class once that humans cannot trust their memories as they are altered, changed, and fixed everyday. He found himself wondering every once in a while just how much he can trust his own. Maybe Jeno had been with Donghyuck so much so often that he had unconsciously altered his memories to include a little cutout picture of Donghyuck at his side. A cutout of Donghyuck blowing a neon green party blowout into Jeno’s ear during the latter’s eighth birthday. A cutout of Donghyuck encouraging Jeno to tie a string around his loose tooth and loop it around the doorknob. A cutout of Donghyuck telling Jeno a story under their blanket fort they set up downstairs in Jeno’s living room in front of the twinkling Christmas tree as they stayed up to wait for Santa’s arrival. Perhaps Jeno had fixed his memories to include Donghyuck because that was what’s right. They were attached at the hip, brothers from another mother, platonic (Jeno’s hoping to cross that word out one day) soulmates. Two peas in a pod, fuck a third.

Donghyuck was everywhere in Jeno’s photobook of memories, always rosy-cheeked, smiling, warm, and moving. He was rarely still.

There was one time where Donghyuck was still.

Four months into their seventh grade year, aka the first year into nearly-big-boy school, Donghyuck had gotten sick. Through his snot-filled tissues, watery eyes, and clogged up nose, Donghyuck had animatedly and very nasally recounted to Jeno about how he had come late to school yesterday because he saw a little kitten stuck in a tree and just had to save it. He had wrapped it in his scarf to protect it from the snow and accidentally forgot to take it back from the animal clinic that he had dropped the feline off at. He called himself a hero before he let out a huge sneeze and Jeno caught the blast of snot with a clump of tissues. He then told the sick boy to shut up and drink his soup.

When Donghyuck fell asleep and Jeno kicked his way through the snow blanketing their yards to cross over to his house, he thought about what he could do to help his best friend. But maybe he caught Donghyuck’s fever because he couldn’t think of anything, until he heard the whizz of a projectile shoot past from above him. He looked up and found his big brother Doyoung leaning beautifully against his bedroom window with that perfect form of his. His bow, much bigger and elegant than Jeno’s roughed up practice one, gleamed under the moonlight, as white as the snowflakes kissing Doyoung’s snowdrops he had planted on his window. Jeno looked down at where Doyoung was staring and watched as the white arrow, heart tip dipped in red, planted firmly into a young woman getting into her taxi.

Jeno didn’t recognize her.

Perhaps she was just a guest to one of the random houses in their quiet cul-de-sac.

Or perhaps…

Jeno watched her suddenly burst out of the taxi, apologies spewing out of her cherry red lips to the driver. She hurried up to the house she had previously exited, high heels clacking dangerously on the rock path. She yelled out a panicked “Wait!” and whoever had seen her out paused in closing the door. They turned around and the lady with the red lips and red heels crashed into their arms. And their lips found a new home in each other.

Jeno heard Doyoung sigh from above him and he turned to look. His brother leaned his chin on his hand, bow and quiver of arrows already vanished, and muttered, “Ms. Lee better bring me cookies next week for helping her out.”

“Our neighbor knows you’re Cupid?”

“Gods no,” Doyoung waved his hand, straightening and making eye contact with Jeno, “I made a bet with her that her crush would stop pining and make a move before this week ends. Of course I won. Now come inside unless you want to be just as bedridden as Donghyuck and mom forbids you from visiting him when he’s sick again.”

Doyoung closed his windows and let his curtains, white with pink hearts, fall into place.

Shivering from the cold and the threat, Jeno rushed to his front door and fumbled for his key. He sighed in relief when the doorknob gave way and he stepped into his warm house. As he closed the door, he took one last peek at his neighbor. She and her lover were still whispering and hugging, but all Jeno could see was red.

Red lips.

Red cheeks.

Red heels.

Red heart tip of an arrow.

Red string.

He knew what he was going to do for Donghyuck.

It took a not-very-secret purchase on his dad’s Amazon account for Jeno to purchase what he needed: a skein of what was advertised as Christmas red cotton yarn, a tiny pink scissors, and two knitting needles that Jeno hoped to god he wouldn’t accidentally try to use as chopsticks because he is just that unaware of his surroundings sometimes. Then it took a lot of YouTube, one private lesson from his mother, and snickers hidden behind a slender hand from Doyoung before Jeno was on his way knitting a scarf for Donghyuck.

Four days after Jeno left Donghyuck’s house and decided to knit him a scarf to replace the one he lost and two days after Jeno started said scarf, Donghyuck was back in school. He was just as bouncy and energetic as before, but then again, he’s never stopped moving and Jeno could attest to how withstanding Donghyuck’s energy is as the boy found a way to be a bundle of constant action even when bedridden with a terrible fever. The boy was waiting by Jeno’s locker and the second he saw his best friend, he pounced on him and screamed into Jeno’s ear of how much he missed him.

No one paid them any mind, well used to the power and chaos that was Donghyuck and Jeno (power during dodgeball with Donghyuck’s killing strategies and Jeno’s physical prowess; chaos in moments like these and starting fights with the school’s squirrel population). Jeno giggled and opened his locker with his koala best friend clinging onto him still. He retrieved his books just as the bell rang, somehow its shrill, ear-piercing ring unable to drown out Donghyuck’s chatter. The smaller climbed off of Jeno and the two walked towards their first classes of the day, which were thankfully next to each other. At the doorway of Donghyuck’s, Jeno waved goodbye and promised to meet him at the stairwell during break, adding on that he had something to show Donghyuck.

The latter opened his mouth to reply before he was interrupted by Renjun who was in the same class, “Donghyuck, class is starting. Stop talking to Jeno. You guys will literally see each other in an hour or so.”

Jeno cackled watching Donghyuck stick his tongue out, taunting Renjun. Renjun rolled his eyes and dragged him in.

As Jeno turned to enter his classroom, he saw a fluff of a brownish-reddish hair pop out from behind the door and Donghyuck beamed at him, “Looking forward to your surprise bestie!”

Break couldn’t come faster and when it finally did, Jeno practically raced his way to his and Donghyuck’s spot on the stairs. And fortunately for him, Donghyuck was never that patient either and was already sitting there despite class only just ending. “Did you sneak to the bathroom early again Hyuck?”

“Hell yeah I did. I couldn’t wait dude. Plus, I,” Donghyuck paused and Jeno watched as his ears turned a pretty shade of red, “I have something to share with you too.”

Jeno gulped and sat down on the steps, his black hair with light teal streaks colored into his bangs settling down over his headband. “Wait tell me yours first.”

“You first.”

“No you.”

“Rock paper scissors.”

Donghyuck lost. He stared at his fingers still held as “scissors”, face filled with betrayal, as Jeno pumped his fist into the air and cheered. This prompted the younger to huff and push Jeno slightly, catching him off guard and nearly causing him to slip down the rest of the flight. Thankfully, Donghyuck gripped onto his uniform tightly and Jeno pushed himself back onto their step. “Jesus Jen, be careful.”

“You’re the one who pushed me.”

“Sucker.”

“Mean.”

“Loser.”

“Hey I threw rock! I won, which means you have to tell me first by the way.”

Donghyuck turned his head to look anywhere but Jeno and muttered under his breath, clearly embarrassed if his ears and neck were anything to go by. “Yeah I got it.”

“So what happened?”

Donghyuck turned to him and fumbled with his fingers, “So you know how the winter formal is coming up? You also know how there’s that uhm...senior that’s helping out my broadcasting club?”

Jeno furrowed his eyebrows, disliking where this is going, “That guy?”

“I don’t know what you have against him but his name is Mark. At least say his name dude.”

“Fine. Mark. What about him?”

Donghyuck looked around before whispering into Jeno’s ear, “I’m gonna ask him to the winter formal.”

“You what,” Jeno screeched, standing up.

His best friend was quick to grab him and pull him back down before Jeno’s outburst attracted attention, “Dude shut up! Oh my god, I just said I’m going to ask Mark to the dance.”

“Why though?”

“Duh, because he’s hot and this is his last year before he goes off to high school. Plus, do you have anyone better for me to ask?”

And from that single second moment on, Jeno often found himself wondering what would’ve happened if he hadn’t shied away and answered truthfully; if he had just blurted out, “Me.” as an answer.

Would he have gone to the dance with Donghyuck?

Would they have been dating now?

Would Jeno have been able to save his best friend from his first heartbreak knowing he’d never hurt Donghyuck?

Instead, he stayed quiet and later lied to Donghyuck that the scarf he was knitting was for a nonexistent girl he had a crush on and was also planning to take to the dance. Donghyuck took his lie to heart and excitedly proposed all the things they could do as a double date and Jeno just nodded along.

He cursed his foolish and lovesick heart, something that should’ve been impenetrable because he's goddamn Cupid and Cupids don’t get hurt over by their own craft.

As the days counted down to the dreaded winter formal, Jeno worked diligently on the scarf, ignoring the spikes shoved into his heart everytime Donghyuck teased him about it on the bus ride home. With every stitch and clack of his needles, he wondered how the hell he was going to give it to Donghyuck after he had lied saying that it was for someone else.

No matter , he decided as Donghyuck snored on his shoulder a week before the dance, I’ll figure it out.

The gym was completely revamped into some cheesy Winter Wonderland themed dance, complete with the Christmas tree, fake snow, presents (tacky wrapping covered half-assedly on some leftover boxes), and photobooth with a goddamn mistletoe over the entrance, attracting couples like a moth to a Feliz Navidad singing flame. Jeno and a few other of his painfully single classmates avoided that area.

The music was just as cheesy, but it was expected of a middle-school dance. Half of the playlist was mainstream pop music, old hits (Jeno watched in slight horror at how enthusiastic more than half his grade was at following the Cupid Shuffle), and overplayed Christmas music which Jeno knew Donghyuck, honorary Glee club member or the Korean male, child version of Mariah Carey, was more than happy to belt along to.

Speaking of Donghyuck, where was he?

Jeno sipped on his drink one more time before deciding to give up on persuading himself it would taste any better after the next sip and threw it into the trash can. The air felt stuffy and was starting to smell a lot more like sweaty middle-schoolers who can’t dance for shit, so Jeno and his sensitive nose was quick to escape as he slipped through one of the backdoors of the gym leading into their school’s blacktop and flower garden. He wasn’t sure when the school decided to add an entire gazebo, complete with a swing, into their garden. It looked pretty. The strong yet delicate in design structure surrounded by in bloom flowers, each a different fragrance and meaning, pretty all the same. The swing swayed very gently in the wind.

Was it the wind? Jeno wasn’t too sure since he didn’t really feel a breeze but he’s also kind of cold so it doesn’t matter. He pondered briefly to himself if he should just wrap the scarf he made for Donghyuck around his neck (he had folded it and quite nearly stuffed it into one of his suit’s pockets) and go home, until he heard a sign of someone’s presence.

A sniffle and a creak of the swing.

Curious, Jeno slowly tiptoed through the garden and over to the gazebo, hands resting against one of the pillars near the entrance. The thin, translucent curtains rustled a little as he moved to peek through at who was there.

It was Donghyuck and he was crying.

Oh fuck, it was Donghyuck and he’s crying.

Pushing aside the need firing from every cell in his body to rush in and barrage him with a million questions about why he was here, where Mark was, and most of all, why was he crying, Jeno slowly walked in and eased himself into the swing.

His best friend sniffled and scooted over to leave space for the newcomer, unaware that it was Jeno.

The older leaned against the back of the swing and started to hum. It was some pop punk song that Donghyuck had introduced to him only a few hours before as they were going home after school. He watched in amusement as Donghyuck stilled, face still in his hands, and then started to hum along as well. He slowly lifted his head out and turned to look at Jeno. He croaked out, “Jeno?”

The latter giggled, “Hey Hyuck. Fancy seeing you here.”

Donghyuck pouted and gently tugged on Jeno’s sleeve, urging him to scoot closer and sit next to him, and Jeno was always one to comply with his wishes. He moved over until he was shoulder to shoulder, thigh to thigh, and fancy shoe to another fancy shoe with Donghyuck and the smaller sighed in happiness as he was comforted by Jeno’s warmth, despite the wooden armrest slightly digging into his side.

A comfortable silence fell around them as the two played footsies.

Donghyuck sniffled and the footsies-induced trance they had fallen in broke.

Jeno nudged his shoulder gently, “Stupid question but how are you?”

“Peachy,” Donghyuck giggled out, lifting an arm to wipe his face for the first time.

Jeno stopped him, tsking. He pulled on his own sleeve and gently patted away Donghyuck’s tears, muttering under his breath, “You’ll ruin your makeup like that.”

Donghyuck sighed, “Thanks Jen, but what’s the point of having it on still if-”

He broke off and turned his head down, plush lips pushing into a pout and starting to quiver a little. Jeno took his hands and warmed them up, thinking of what to say next. Donghyuck was born with a heart of solid 24k gold, a set of eyes that held every star in the universe hostage, and a mouth that spun tapestries of stories. He was seemingly flawless:

A mastermind of school games (capture the flag was never the same the second Donghyuck started making actual game strategies, map, war paint, and everything).

A talented actor and singer (he had fought tooth and nail with the administration to let his advanced drama class do a Mean Girls musical).

An even greater entertainer (the day he took over the morning announcements, Jeno could’ve sworn he saw more than half of his classmates who were all zombie-like turn back into humans).

A genius with an IQ and EQ so high, Jeno was worried he’d skip a grade next year to be with his older friends he met on the decathlon team (Donghyuck nearly made a blood pact to promise Jeno he’d never ditch his best friend).

But despite how he seemed to be perfect from the curve of his nails to his practiced, careful smile, Donghyuck came with flaws. He was terrified of the dark. He becomes too obstinate sometimes even when he knows he’s wrong. He holds short-lived, but often grudges, feeding into his slightly petty behavior. His biggest problem in Jeno’s eyes though, was that when he’s hurt, he refuses to talk about it.

Donghyuck keeps his problems locked up inside, passing it all off with a charming smile that could fool anyone but he’ll never fool Jeno. As cheesy as it is, the eyes are truly the windows into a soul and Donghyuck’s eyes, no matter how much they twinkle, always have his window sealed shut and blinds drawn. Donghyuck was a tough cookie but all cookies snap at some point, and when he does, Jeno spends hours and sometimes even days, piecing him back together.

Donghyuck was charming, empathetic, compassionate, and patient.

He was also stubborn, petty, irritable, and apathetic.

A walking contradiction, yet one that works.

(Maybe it’s because he’s a Gemini.)

Jeno settled with a simple question, never one to beat around the bush. “What happened?”

Donghyuck sighed and looked off to the side. He pulled his hands out of Jeno’s warmth and shoved them under his thighs. It was quiet for a beat, and then, “Mark.”

Jeno curled his fists, jaw setting and teeth held tightly, “What did he do?”

Sensing Jeno’s oncoming bout of protectiveness and anger, Donghyuck clamped his hands on his shoulders and whined at him, “Don’t get mad at him Jen. Calm down.”

“What did he do Hyuck? Tell me and I’ll-”

“You’re not going to do anything to him,” Donghyuck cut in, the moon highlighting the firmness in his eyes before they suddenly softened and he pleaded gently, “Please Jeno. I don’t want this to be bigger than it needs to be and we won’t even see him for a whole year next year.”

Jeno let out a slow breath, “Okay. Fine. What did he do though?”

“Promise me you won’t go berserk and beat his ass tomorrow?”

Jeno squinted at him, “Did he do something that bad that I need to get physical?”

It’s been four years since the last time Jeno had gotten physical with someone after they mistreated Donghyuck. The boy and his little group of lackeys had pulled Donghyuck behind the school in an attempt to steal his pocket money and threatened to spread bad rumors about him and Jeno if he didn’t give it to them. Before Donghyuck could even reach for his backpack, Jeno found him and finally got to put his 5 years of taekwondo to use. He held onto Donghyuck’s hand tightly throughout the principal’s meeting (he tried not to preen when he noticed how many of them were crying) and the two enjoyed the fruit popsicles Jeno’s father bought them after. Needless to say, Jeno and Donghyuck never had trouble with them again (last week Jeno had been walking back to his classroom from the bathroom and the leader of the group had accidentally run into him, and never has Jeno seen anyone run as fast as that guy did outside of the annual sports day competition).

Donghyuck blew his bangs out of his face, “Just promise me Jen.”

“Fine, I promise.”

His best friend took a deep breath and then rushed out, “Mark stood me up.”

Jeno took a second to comprehend what he said before he roared out, “Mark stood you up?!”

Donghyuck pressed him down into the swing, which groaned a little under their weight, “Jeno please! Look, I don’t know why he stood me up but it’s okay. I- He- I’m sure he has a good explanation.”

“How could he stand you up after you’ve been so excited!”

Donghyuck sighed and slumped against the swing, pouting and picking at a stray string off of his blazer, “I don’t know. Maybe...I’m just not good enough of a date. He was probably embarrassed to take someone a year below him.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Why not? I mean it’s a more valid reason than-”

“Than what?”

“I don’t know,” Donghyuck groaned, “My mind is completely bank. I thought we were friends and I even made sure my proposal was to his tastes! And he seemed pretty happy to come with me too, so why isn’t he here? Why did I wait for him like a fucking idiot—don’t tell Mom I cursed—when I could’ve been having a blast dancing to the stupid Cupid Shuffle? Why am I actually heartbroken over something so miniscule?”

Jeno frowned. He grabbed Donghyuck’s face and made him look at him, “It is not miniscule Hyuck. I don’t know why he would stand you up either but I’m sure he has an actual reason and Mark would talk to you about it. But whatever the case may be, you have feelings to and his reason can never and will never invalidate how you feel right now. You have every right to be sad, so don’t beat yourself up for feeling that way. You waited for him because you thought you were going to enjoy the night and the stupid Cupid Shuffle with him, and honestly? Fuck him. You don’t need him to have a good dance. You’re Lee Donghyuck, the shining star on a Christmas tree, the sun at the center of the solar system, the disco ball in the middle of a 80s music video, the piece of glitter that’s stuck on your face for weeks, the-”

Donghyuck giggled, his cheeks glistened with tears but he’s finally smiling, “Okay, okay. I get it Jen. I’m a really great person.”

“Don’t get cocky with me.”

“Hey! You’re the one feeding my ego right now.”

“Shut it. But seriously, don’t invalidate your own feelings for anyone else Hyuck. You want to be mad? Then be mad. You want to be sad? Then be sad. You can feel emotions and that’s okay! Sometimes we get overwhelmed by them so easily, we ask ourselves why we are like this, but the answer is simple. We’re born with souls, very emotional and complex souls. You have yours. I have mine. Mark might lose his after I’m done with him.”

Donghyuck tsked.

“Kidding. I won’t touch him...maybe. But listen Hyuck, we’re all like a walking Pandora’s box and we don’t know what emotions will fly out of us at times. Frustration. Guilt. Jealousy. Hope. Desire. Love. But whatever we feel, it’s okay to have it. You are a human Hyuck and you had a hope, and Mark crushed it, by accident or on purpose we don’t know. But he did anyways, so it’s okay to feel letdown and crushed.”

Jeno took a small breath and smiled gently at his best friend who had been staring up at him, lips quivering and eyes begging for an approval of a silent request from Jeno. So he gives it to him, “It’s okay to cry when you’re sad, Hyuck. I’m right here.”

And that was all Donghyuck needed to slam into Jeno’s chest and break the dam in his chest, twin waterfalls roaring and crashing through his chocolate irises and wetting Jeno’s dress shirt.

The smaller sobbed his pains and insecurities into Jeno’s chest, letting his hurt seep through and be comforted by Jeno’s soul. Like a beaten, mangled stray cat finding solace in a stranger’s embrace, being petted and loved after a long time of nothing.

“What did I do wrong Jeno,” Donghyuck cried through his hiccups.

Jeno held him tighter and thought to himself, “You were too good.”

The gym was vibrating with the force of nearly 800 students dancing along to the macarena when Donghyuck had quieted down, his cries reducing to sniffles to shaky breaths to nothing but tear tracks and Jeno’s wet dress shirt as proof of his sob fest. Donghyuck sat with his legs pulled up on the swing with his head on Jeno’s shoulder, Jeno’s blazer wrapped around his shoulders.  Jeno pushed them gently with the front of his dress shoes and the swing creaked in time with the small song Donghyuck was humming. Despite how overpowering the macarena was, all Jeno could hear was Donghyuck.

A small breeze blew through, carrying the fragrance of the flowers and Jeno’s light cologne.

Suddenly, Donghyuck shivered and he remembered.

He reached across Donghyuck to fumble through his blazer’s pocket.

“What are you looking for?”

Jeno pulled his hand out and smiled triumphantly, “This.”

“What about that?”

Jeno wrapped it around Donghyuck’s neck, “For you.”

“What,” Donghyuck exclaimed, hands coming up to take it off before Jeno pulled them down, “I thought you were giving it to your date? Wait, what the hell? Did you ditch your date Jen? Did you stand her up like Mark did to me? Jen-”

“No! I uh,” Jeno paused, mind racking to find an answer to the onslaught of questions he doesn’t really have an answer to because there was no date in the first place, “I didn’t ask her.”

“You didn’t?”

“Yeah, I was kinda planning to but then I realized that I didn’t really like her all that much.”

“Oh.”

Jeno made a small noise of acknowledgement and leaned back again.

They sat quietly as Jeno fumbled with his fingers.

“Thank you.”

“Huh?”

Donghyuck blushed, “I said thank you.”

“For what?”

Donghyuck stared at him fiercely and answered honestly, “For everything. For always taking care of me. For letting me cry. For being there for me. For giving me this. For being you. For being my best friend for so long.”

Now it was Jeno’s turn to blush, “I could say the same to you.”

“Yeah you should, but expect something much cooler than this from me,” Donghyuck snickered, grabbing Jeno’s hand.

Jeno huffed, “Shut it. Do you know how long it took me?”

Donghyuck answered him with a small and soft smile, “I do. Thanks. I really love it.”

“It’s- It’s nothing. It’s also like a thank you for- always taking care of my wounds,” Jeno stammered, eyes darting to look anywhere other than Donghyuck’s amused face.

“Ahh, you mean when I kiss your little booboos better? I remember you’d always-”

Jeno squeezed Donghyuck’s hand hard, eliciting pained whines from the younger who squirmed in his seat.

“Ok! Ok! I’ll stop!”

Jeno let go and huffed.

Donghyuck pouted and cradled the hand Jeno squeezed, though both knew that Jeno was barely using any of his strength and Donghyuck was long used to getting his hand squeezed as Jeno’s favorite way of “taming” him.

They stared at each other for a beat before bursting out into boyish laughter, a break into the still slightly melancholy atmosphere surrounding them. Jeno felt his heart jump a beat as he finally got Donghyuck to break into a full-body laugh, perhaps his ultimate goal ever since he found Donghyuck weeping in between the daisies and the marigolds. 

When they quieted down, Donghyuck leaned his head back onto Jeno’s shoulder and resumed humming. With the moon as their only chaperone for tonight, Jeno realized a few more things.

Red was his new favorite color.

Not the red from the roses, vibrant and emanating an aura of strength, surrounding the gazebo he’s still unsure why his school has.

Not the red from the scarf he spent days knitting now wrapped securely around the intended recipient’s neck.

But the ruby red of Donghyuck’s cheeks as he sang a small song about young love for his smallest yet best audience.

Oh fuck.

He’s in love with Donghyuck.

How ironic.

A son of a family of Cupids, all who have found true love and given true love billions of times, had fallen in love with someone who would never love him back the way he wants him to. 

Jeno realized with a heavy heart that there was nothing he could do to fix his situation, for Cupids couldn’t use their own craft on themselves. He was hopelessly in love with Donghyuck and when Cupids fall once, they rarely fall for someone else again. But Jeno thinks that that’s alright. He would spend each of his lifetimes loving Donghyuck until the day comes where in one of his lives, Donghyuck loves him back.

In this lifetime though, Jeno decided he could bear with his own unrequited love but he’d never let Donghyuck suffer through that and small fragments of a big plan started formulating in his head.

He was going to help Donghyuck find his true love so that he’d never ever have to find his best friend shattered to pieces again. Donghyuck kissed all of his small scrapes and cuts better and Jeno hoped that his love, his own form of a bandaid, would protect Donghyuck’s innocent love. To keep his heart safe from damage, preserved like the world’s most important jewel in a bulletproof glass case.

With the background noise of Soulja Boy and crickets, two boys leaned against each other, one discovering the joy of having a best friend and the other learning the pain of love. Jeno’s red scarf fluttered gently in the cool breeze as it wrapped around Donghyuck’s neck and chest, in place of the corsage Mark should’ve bought.

Mark doesn’t show up to school the next day.

Nor the next.

A week later, Donghyuck found Jeno in the cafeteria and explained to him with a bright smile that Mark had found him during morning announcements and apologized profusely about standing him up. Turns out, Mark had gotten the stomach flu only a few hours before and had forgotten to get Donghyuck’s number beforehand so he couldn’t tell him about it. He had only just gotten better last night.

Fortunately for Donghyuck, Mark and he remained good friends and let the night pass away like an old memory.

Unfortunately for Jeno, he doesn’t have an excuse to give Mark withering glares anymore.

Donghyuck suddenly jolts in his sleep, immediately ending Jeno’s long ass flashback and activating his reflexes to catch him before he could do something to hurt himself or crush their remaining bags of chips. With a tight hold on his best friend, Jeno chuckles and whispers mostly to himself, “You really never change.”

To his surprise, Donghyuck slowly blinks himself awake and yawns, arms stretching out of Jeno’s hold and above his head. He makes small noises of happiness, clearly pleased with the good nap he had on Jeno’s shoulder, and Jeno tries his hardest to hold back his coos. The younger looked out the window, nodding after he recognized where they were on their journey home, before snuggling back into Jeno’s warmth and wrapping his arms around Jeno’s thin torso. Jeno’s ears flash a bright pink as he stutters through his question, “What are you doing?”

“Warm.” is all he receives.

So he lets Donghyuck be and spends the rest of the busride willing away his red cheeks and stabilizing his fluttering heartbeat.

Few minutes later, it was their stop. They stumble around each other as they collect their trash and belongings and race to the bus doors. As always, they arrive at the same time and get stuck in the doors, bickering over who gets to get out first, ignoring the impatient foot tapping from the bus driver. Jeno lets Donghyuck squeeze out first and exits with a small nod and sheepish smile to the driver who just shakes his head before closing the doors and rushing off. Just as he’s turning around to face Donghyuck, a black soaring projectile is flying towards his face and in a quick motion, swings his backpack to rest on both of his shoulders rather than the just one he had it on previously and catches Donghyuck’s backpack with a small groan. “What do you carry in here Hyuck?”

“The heads of my enemies.”

“That’s fucking vile.”

“You’re next.”

Jeno sticks his tongue out and Donghyuck mimics him before skipping ahead towards their houses at the curved part of the cul-de-sac. Jeno complains about having to carry Donghyuck’s backpack and their leftover snacks, and the boy runs back, not without an eye roll or two, and grabs the snacks. “Fine, make me, the weak, fragile boy, do work.”

“You’re not weak and fragile at all. People are terrified of wrestling with you during P.E.”

Donghyuck giggles and goes back to skipping ahead, shouting, “As they should!”

Jeno shakes his head but smiles and trudges behind him, his backpack strapped to his back and Donghyuck’s on his front. As he waits for Donghyuck to finish chatting with their neighbor (knowing Donghyuck, he’s probably asking to pet her dog again), Jeno suddenly feels an itch in his hands.

And he knows exactly what that itch meant.

He always felt it when he was sick and had to miss archery practice.

He always felt it when he received a new case, a new love problem to solve with his trusty bow and arrow.

He always feels it when he falls in love with Donghyuck all over again but is reminded of what he cannot have and needs to give instead.

Then Jeno does something he rarely does: acting on an impulse.

In a flash, he whips out his celestial bow and an arrow (he tries to ignore how fucking stupid he looks with a magical weapon that looked like it came straight from a picture book about Greek mythology while he has two identical backpacks over his rumpled uniform; he also hopes to gods Doyoung wasn’t looking out his window and catch sight of his moment of idiocy) and fires, once again aiming for Donghyuck’s back.

But as his luck should have it, Donghyuck finally gets the OK from their neighbor and with a squeal, he crouches down to pour the pup as much love as his human heart can give, unknowingly allowing Jeno’s perfectly aimed arrow to fly straight past him again and hit square at their neighbor’s right shoulder. 

Donghyuck turns around from where he was on the concrete and waves at Jeno to come over, eyes sparkling with pure childish joy.

Jeno sighs at another failed attempt and mentally wishes his neighbor quick success at finding their soulmate. He fakes a big smile and rushes over to pet the poodle.

He tries to ignore the small voice in the back of his head that reminds him that the poodle looked heart-achingly a lot like Donghyuck.

ARROW 4 (11TH-12TH GRADE SUMMER)

Third time wasn’t the charm and the fourth definitely wasn’t either.

The fourth was the worst actually.

It happened like if a train wreck and a car crash had a lovechild and that child was named “Jeno’s Shitty Luck”.

The first few times were alright because at least Jeno helped a few people find their soulmates and did so quietly. But what just happened? It was so horrendous Jeno went home shaking, terrified of having to alert his family of the situation.

You see, Jeno was nearly, very nearly, caught with his bow and arrow out. Not his regular one for archery but his Cupid one. The one that if he ever truly got caught with, he’d have to face punishment, that ranges from bad (grounded from using powers for a year which is terrible for all Cupids, but especially to Jeno, who lives and breathes archery and regular, human archery would never match the euphoria of using his powers) to severe (stripped of all powers, reducing Jeno into another mortal and a big, fat disappointment to his ancestors and worst of all, Doyoung; Jeno’s especially terrified of disappointing Doyoung).

He’s still been feeling that weird itch in his hands but he’s been able to control it or forget about it. Until summer came and with it came Donghyuck in small shorts.

Jeno had woken up that morning to the sound of birds chirping, Doyoung belting along to Eric Benet in the shower, and Donghyuck chucking small pebbles at his window. He shuffled to the windows and received an array of rocks digging into his soft skin. He whined down at Donghyuck and rubbed at his face, “Stop chucking shit at my window Hyuck. You’re going to break it one day and dad’s gonna make me fix it instead of making you buy me a new one.”

“Oh the pleasure of being your parents’ favorite child.”

“Second to Doyoung.”

“Everyone’s second to Doyoung.”

Jeno yawned and leaned on his windowsill, cheek squishing on his arm, “True. Anyways, whatdya want?”

Donghyuck grinned evilly and brought out what he had been hiding in his pocket (Jeno tried not to stare at how pretty his tan skin was). “Interested?”

Jeno’s eyes widened and he stood up straight, hissing, “Why do you have that? Your mom’s going to fucking kill you!”

The boy swirled his mother’s car keys around his finger and blew his bangs out of his eyes, “She’s not going to know.”

“This is illegal Hyuck! We could get arrested!”

“C’mon I just want to drive down to the park and back. It’s not that far.”

“Still joyriding and still potential material for Doyoung to kill me over,” Jeno glared.

The two of them glared at each other for a bit before Donghyuck broke first, pouting and kicking his beat up Vans against a bush. “Fine. I’ll put ‘em back and I’ll get my board. I still wanna go to the park though, so I better see you down and ready in five minutes.”

Jeno smiled, “You got it boss,” and waved his best friend away.

Donghyuck pulled at his lower lid of his left eye with a finger and stuck his tongue out. “Bleh. Party pooper Jeno.”

But he still smiled afterwards and hurried back into his house to sneak his mom’s car keys back into its rightful place.

The two shared Jeno’s airpods this time as they skateboarded towards their city’s park. It was quite a big one with something for everyone. There was the playground that Donghyuck told about his “first kiss” to Jeno. There was a large grassy field for families, friends, and couples to host whatever they’re hosting on and courts of various sports available for the public. There were plenty of smoothed out concrete trails for pedestrians. There was also a gazebo that a lot of buskers or kids liked to go and sing. Best of all, there was a small lake, complete with families of well-loved ducks and geese (the exact reason for why both of them held a small brown paper bag filled with bread crumbs). The park was a big part of their childhood and many of Jeno’s favorite memories happened there. Of course, Donghyuck was in all of them.

Donghyuck was his favorite part in all of his memories.

The two stopped to pick up their skateboards and raced across the crosswalk, beating the threatening red countdown. Once safely on the other side, they turned the corner and walked onto the grass. Donghyuck immediately dragged Jeno to the lake to feed the birds.

They crouched down to greet the wave of birds flapping and swimming their way towards the pair, knowing very well that a few quacks would earn them a handful of food. They had some quiet minutes of mindless feeding and cooing (Jeno nearly got bitten at one point but he immediately forgave the goose).

Then, Jeno made his first big mistake.

He chanced a look at Donghyuck who was sitting criss-crossed applesauce next to him and happily feeding a mother duck and her ducklings. The lake’s water reflected the sun’s bright beams but nothing was as blinding to Jeno as Donghyuck’s gentle smile and relaxed eyes.

Fuck, he was so in love and it hurt so bad (Jeno decided he’s going to need LASIK if he stared at Donghyuck any longer).

And then, the catalyst to his second, biggest mistake happened. His hands twitched and he impulsively, summoned his bow and quiver.

Before he could even think about what he was doing—in public! in front of Donghyuck!—he was already prepped and lining up his shot.

“What are you doing Jeno,” Donghyuck’s yell broke through his trance, startling Jeno and he accidentally lets go of the arrow. He watched in horror as it nearly hit the mother duck Donghyuck was holding and it drove deeply into the tree behind him.

Jeno’s eyes widened and he felt his stomach churn horribly, word vomit preparing to spill out of his throat and explain the situation. But Donghyuck moved faster.

“I know it’s summer and archery practice doesn’t start until next week but how could you try to shoot one of the ducks! Are you insane?”

Oh.

Jeno wasn’t sure if he should feel completely relieved that Donghyuck didn’t realize what he was doing or horrified that Donghyuck thought he was so archery-crazy, he was going to commit animal homicide to satisfy his needs (gods, that sounds so weird). 

“Haha, yeah sorry. I uhh...got that itch. Won’t happen again, I promise,” Jeno laughed nervously, very much stuck in a rock and a hard place.

Donghyuck moved to sit in front of the ducks and narrowed his eyes at Jeno, “Okay Jen. But I’m banning you from feeding the ducks until next week.”

Jeno nodded and he opened his mouth to transition to another question when Donghyuck, wonderful and sweet Donghyuck, beat him to it again.

“Where the fuck did you get your bow and arrow from? I didn’t see you take it out with you on the way here. Also, that looks completely different from your usual one. Is that for personal use? It’s pretty, can I touch it?”

He reached over Jeno’s lap, hand outstretched, and Jeno felt his throat dry and heart sink. He clutched his bow to his chest, stood up, and exclaimed loudly, “No!”

Donghyuck peers up at him, an eyebrow raised, “Sheesh okay. I get it, they’re your babies.”

Jeno laughed nervously again, but before he could do any more damage control, someone barrels into their conversation—literally.

The mother duck Donghyuck was loving was very quickly replaced with 5 feet and 10 inches of Zhong Chenle, who dove into his lap shrieking in excitement at seeing his older friends. Upon seeing the younger Chinese boy, Jeno and Donghyuck instinctually turn around and are unsurprised to see Jisung walking up towards them.

Where Chenle is, Jisung is always there as well.

If Jeno and Donghyuck were two peas in a pod, Chenle and Jisung were literally a pod capable of holding only one pea but Chenle forced the pod to hold them both because in his words, he “cannot function as a regular human being without Park Jisung who’s in charge of maintaining Chenle’s public image and dignity”.

And for a few hours, Jeno allowed himself to believe that Donghyuck had forgotten everything about his mistake (he was quick to whisk them away while Donghyuck struggled to handle an overenthusiastic Chenle).

It’s what he had told his family as well who clearly weren’t overjoyed with his mistake but let him off with a promise to be more careful and a longer chores list for the remainder of the summer.

But as he prepared to roll into his warm bed sheets and fall into another dream of a world where he didn’t have to worry about getting caught, having powers, or being in love with Donghyuck, his phone chimed with a slightly younger, semi-prepubescent Donghyuck’s voice saying “Hi! I’m Haechan!” (it was his dance stage name that Jeno helped create and the special chime was made by the younger in the middle of his dance team’s winning high at the dinner party after the competition).

He read the text and felt his heart clog his throat, anxiety melting into the ridges of his brain and Jeno found himself hurrying back to bed to sleep off the fear.

hyuckie!

u still owe me an explanation for where that sick bow came from

delivered 11:11pm

ARROW 5 (END OF 11TH GRADE SUMMER)

Jeno barely manages to get Donghyuck to forget about his celestial bow and quiver, and he does so by distracting him with different things constantly and making sure the boy has more to worry about taking care of an exhausted Jeno after grueling archery practice than the archery stuff itself. It was hard and Jeno felt horrible about tricking Donghyuck, but he had to.

As fall started to creep in, the summer heat slowly burned down into embers of spurts of warmth at random times at random days, leaving Jeno unbearably hot for a few hours and then unbearably cold the next. He hated the transition between summer to autumn, but Donghyuck loved it.

Donghyuck was damn near impenetrable by the heat, but for some odd reason, he also loved the cold. He claimed that seeing his breath in the cold air was cool but Jeno knew that Donghyuck just really loved wearing his big, fluffy padded coats and then stealing more warmth from Jeno. No matter what Donghyuck said, he was always a walking beam of sunlight. The summer among the crowds and seas of falls, winters, and springs. A bundle of exploding energy that carried a distinct warmness in his fingertips and smiles. Donghyuck in winter was like a sunflower that pokes out among the paper white snow, somehow surviving and still as vibrant as it was when it first bloomed. Donghyuck in winter felt like the personification of that moment when you’re hiding under a blanket fort with your best friend with flashlights and fairy lights to illuminate the comic books you’re reading.

Donghyuck in winter was Jeno’s favorite.

But it’s still summer, at least by the unspoken definition of it in the universe (the start of school always marks the start of fall).

The two find themselves on top of Jeno’s roof, Donghyuck still whining about his elbow from where he had accidentally banged it against a shingle as he was climbing up. Jeno giggles and gives him a band-aid.

“Since when do you carry these,” Donghyuck mutters, lifting his elbow for Jeno to see the start of a medium-sized bruise, “Also put it on me.”

Jeno rolls his eyes and tears the packaging off with his teeth before shuffling over to apply it. “Want me to kiss it better too?”

He expects Donghyuck to shoot back a snarky retort but instead when he looks up at the younger as he smooths out the bandaid, Donghyuck is already staring back at him with a fond gaze. His best friend lifts his free hand to fix Jeno’s bangs and he answers softly, “Like I do.”

Jeno blushes and pushes down the surging hope in his heart. He can’t allow himself to hope, because if he does, he’ll only hurt harder and deeper when he ultimately gets disappointed. But he still plants a short and quick peck on top of the bandaid and turns away, murmuring, “Feel better dickhead.”

Donghyuck slaps him on the shoulder and laughs, “Asshole.”

They giggle stupidly over nothing and Jeno wishes he could capture this moment and store it in a glass jar like a sparkling dream on display. If he could make any moment in life last, it’d be here and now, with Donghyuck laughing, eyes scrunched and cheeks aching, on Jeno’s roof under the watchful gaze of the moon and Jeno. Jeno has always been someone to grow attached easily, whether it was his possessions or things or even fleeting emotions. But loving Donghyuck and re-discovering all the reasons why he loves him was so much easier.

He remembers a question one of his teachers had asked his class once: why does 1 plus 1 equal to two?

Jeno had gone home, pondering it the entire time. He asked his parents who told him to ask Doyoung. He asked Doyoung who launched into mathematical theorems and postulates that 8 year old Jeno had no business learning just yet. He asked Donghyuck who shrugged and asked if he wanted to play basketball. And then he asked himself, and turned in an essay the next day about counting fingers and what little he understood from Doyoung’s math lecture.

The teacher read his paper out loud, applauding his eloquence and specificity. Then he put Jeno’s away and told the class the answer.

“1 plus 1 equals two, because that’s just how it is.”

At the time, Jeno felt furious that he had wasted so much of his time and effort only for the answer to be so stupidly simple, but now, sitting on the uneven shingles of his roof and swallowing a confession of pure love to Donghyuck, Jeno feels grateful. Things become things because that’s the way things are. He loves Donghyuck, because that’s the way things are. Jeno never needed a big reason why he loved his best friend.

Donghyuck was beautiful to him when he first saw him in his crib, the sunlight peppering his skin with kisses.

Donghyuck was beautiful to him when he, heartbroken, cried in Jeno’s arms, and the flowers in their school’s garden reached out to soothe the only sunflower that grew upon them.

Donghyuck is beautiful to him now as he rants about a recent drama he’s been watching while his silhouette is traced by a Sharpie dipped in moonlight silver.

1 + 1 = 2 and Jeno loves Donghyuck.

Facts of the universe.

But there lies a blind, bottomless pit in Jeno’s chest cavity, a Pandora’s box that’s devoid of Hope. It is as simple for 1+1 = 2 as it is for 1-1 = 0, and Jeno realizes just as simply that another fact of the universe states that Donghyuck might not love Jeno back.

Donghyuck was a dancing flame, crackling and burning his way through life. He traveled from place to place, group to group, and thing to thing, mischievous smiles always plastered on his face and conversation starters always on hand. He burned so brightly, those who dared to touch him either burned away or welcomed the heat. He was unpredictable, a variable without a distinct value attached to it. He was “x = ?” and Jeno’s “y” relied on him. Donghyuck was every single cause in this world and Jeno was every effect.

A function is only a function if “x”, an input, has one and only one “y”, on output. While the input can change however it wants to, the output to it will always rely on it.

Donghyuck was unpredictable and Jeno was every bit predictable.

Donghyuck’s love varied in degrees and Jeno fell in love fast and hard, knocking all of the air out of his lungs and letting him slip off the cliff of reality into daydreams and romantic scenarios he plays in his head like a soundless movie.

Donghyuck and Jeno equaled two, but Jeno feared that it’d become zero one day.

But for tonight, just for tonight, Jeno lets himself break into the Pandora box in his heart, shove aside his fears, and leave a space for Hope to cultivate. It is the last time Jeno allows himself to be a fool, to imagine himself as Donghyuck’s lover and someone who could match Donghyuck’s magnetic push and pull.

When they’ve finished their late-night snacks and their mini conversations, ranging from arguments over what superhero Jeno would be to heart-to-heart whispers about where they’re going to go after high school, Jeno helps Donghyuck slip off his roof and walks him over their yards and under Donghyuck’s bedroom window. His beige curtains blew gently in the wind, beckoning Donghyuck to slip through them and say goodbye to the world, to summer, and to Jeno.

The younger, nimble as a cat, climbs into his room with practiced ease and jokingly blows Jeno a kiss goodnight. Jeno shakes his head and turns to go before Donghyuck could catch his red face and know it wasn’t due to the cold wind.

Donghyuck calls out after him, “See you tomorrow Jeno! Sweet dreams!”

Before Jeno could respond, he disappears and Jeno’s left to stare at his billowy curtains.

He looks up at the big, bright moon and sends a little question up, hoping for an answer or at least a clearer mind.

What do I do now?

Jeno sighs and looks at his shoes, a pair of Converse that he had only recently bought but had already become dirty and scuffed after his many escapades and adventures with his best friend, who also took the liberty of being his best friend to decorating his shoes with his mindless doodles and scribbles (there was a giant “LEE DONGHYUCK WUZ HERE!!” on the side of Jeno’s right shoe). His heart leaps like a bungee jumper flying off of a cliff without a rope and Jeno decides.

He quietly sneaks back into his room and stands facing out his open window and into Donghyuck’s room, where the smaller laid, fast asleep and dreaming of gods know what. He chuckles at the idea that this was the few times where Donghyuck isn’t in motion and is finally still, save for the small twitching of his fingers and occasional scrunch of his face. Jeno snaps his finger, his elegant wooden bow glimmering with gold flakes in his hands and his quiver tightens around his thigh. He pulls out the last arrow in his quiver and sets it in place. Jeno pulls back and aims for Donghyuck’s back, watching with bated breath as the boy’s body lifted ever so slightly and fell back down as he breathed through his dreams.

Jeno swallows hard and lets his eyes well with tears. He whispers to the dark of his room, “I love you Lee Donghyuck, and I wish you all the best. I’ll always be your best friend.”

Then, he lets go and watches it zip through the air. Donghyuck shuffles and turns on his side, the arrow landing perfectly over his heart.

Jeno doesn’t wait to see where the end of the red string that’s tied around the arrow is. He doesn’t need to.

It won’t be around his fingers.

+1 ARROW ? (12TH GRADE)

1 YEAR LATER

It’s their last year of high school and both had just barely scraped by the monstrosity that was the combination of college applications and finals before winter break hit them full force. Despite being complete with school, the two still have their last period, which was just study hall, to sit through before they’re free to fuck around and forget about all their responsibilities.

The students with study hall are all scattered throughout the classroom, some whispering amongst themselves and making plans while others played games on their phones or watched a drama. Donghyuck and Jeno sit in their usual seats near the back and next to the windows, Jeno behind Donghyuck and the latter with his legs stuffed through the hole in the back of his chair to face Jeno. Tired, Jeno crosses his arms on his desk and crams his face into them, preparing to take a nap. Across from him, Donghyuck sings quietly under his breath as he dumps out Jeno’s pencil case and reorganizes everything by color and then size.

A few minutes later, Jeno slowly wakes up from his nap, disturbed by a sudden shout from a few of his classmates who apparently won in their game. He grumbles a barely comprehensible complaint into the crook of his arm as Donghyuck tells them to shut up. Jeno sits up and stretches, slightly pleased with his power nap and especially pleased with how neat the contents of his pencil case now was. “Hey Hyuck.”

“Hiya. Looks nice doesn’t it?”

Jeno agrees and carefully places it back into his backpack, “Of course it does. You’re a lot better at organizing than I am.”

“What a useless talent to have,” Donghyuck sighs, clearly fishing for more compliments.

Jeno’s mouth tugs, mischief swimming in his grin, “True.”

Shocked at Jeno’s avoidance of giving him more compliments, Donghyuck pouts, “That’s not what you’re supposed to say.”

“You said it first. I’m just agreeing with you.”

“Bitch. Don’t ever ask me to organize your things again,” Donghyuck answers, crossing his arms.

“Never asked you in the first place. Plus, you’re still going to do it anyways,” Jeno fires back knowingly.

Donghyuck shrugs and grins, “True.”

Jeno ducks under his desk to rummage for the manga he brought for them to share for the next half hour of study hall. He’s in the middle of uncrumpling an old piece of paper and deciphering his now smudged and blurry handwriting when Donghyuck speaks again.

“Remember that girl I told you I kissed when we were little?

Jeno notices the differentiation symbol and quickly throws his junior year’s calculus homework back into his backpack. He hasn’t gotten over his trauma of having to memorize so many different rules just to fucking do what was considered the basics of calculus. He yawns and replies from under the desk, “Yeah.”

“I lied.”

Jeno bangs his head against the underside of his desk and emerges with the manga in hand, the other rubbing the top of his head. Donghyuck raises an eyebrow as if to ask about his pain which Jeno quickly waves away his worry with a shake of his head. “I see.”

Donghyuck takes the manga from Jeno’s hands and flips through it, hiding his face behind the book so all Jeno could make eye contact with was Hinata’s determined face (Nekoma is his favorite team). Knowing that Donghyuck likes to hide his face whenever he gets embarrassed or awkward, Jeno tilts back in his seat so that the front two legs are in the air and waits for the latter to get over his embarrassment and continue.

Sure enough, Donghyuck slams the book down, “Aren’t you going to ask me why?”

Out of Jeno’s peripheral vision, he notices how a few of their classmates have turned to watch them after getting surprised by Donghyuck’s outburst. He nods at Donghyuck and gets out of his seat. He grabs their backpacks and shakes his head toward the door, “Let’s talk outside.”

Jeno waits for Donghyuck to pack his things, holding out Donghyuck’s padded coat which the younger quickly slips his arms into. He wraps Donghyuck’s red scarf, the one he knitted so many years ago, around his neck. Donghyuck tugs him back to unravel it and wrap it around both of their necks.

They sneak out of their classroom, ignoring the looks their classmates give them, and step out of the school. Their shoes crunch on the dirtied snow as they walk in time out of the school gates and towards their bus stop. They nod goodbye to the school guard at the entrance who raises an eyebrow at their early dismissal but ultimately ignores them in favor of the football game roaring through his phone speakers. Donghyuck snorts and Jeno thinks he’s very cute.

They make their usual stop at the nearby convenience store, except Jeno buys some candy and Donghyuck buys a few packs of hand warmers. They stand next to the bus stop cube and Jeno unwraps one of his candies to give to Donghyuck (strawberry flavored) and then to pop one into his mouth (lemon flavored). His hands are quickly turning red from the biting cold and Donghyuck notices it, cracking one of his hand warmers alive and shoving it into Jeno’s hands. They stand quietly, slowly warming their hands and filling their mouths with zangy and sweet artificial fruit flavors.

“Are you not going to ask me why?”

Jeno hums, knowing he’s referring to their previous conversation, “Do you want me to?”

Donghyuck breathes out his answer in a small puff of white air, “Yes.”

“Okay. Why did you lie to me about the girl you kissed?”

Donghyuck is looking straight ahead when he answers and Jeno isn’t sure if his cheeks were that rosy because of the cold or because of what he’s saying. “Because I wasn’t sure how to tell you I wanted to kiss you.”

Jeno cracks his candy in his mouth and his teeth ache. He turns to look at Donghyuck who finally holds his gaze, determination and a tint of timidness coloring his irises. Jeno feels his heart squeezing and his stomach filling with butterflies. His hands are shaking and they suddenly feel freezing despite the still hot hand warmer in between them.

Jeno is hoping again, but this time, he isn’t sure if it’s permissible.

So he catches the butterflies in his stomach with a net and stores them safely in an enclosure made up of a mesh of his heartstrings. He tries to pass it off like it’s not a big deal, “Kids aren’t very good at making big decisions like that, don’t worry. I’m pretty sure I didn’t even know what love was then. Couldn’t even put on my own bandaid without you.”

Donghyuck sensing Jeno’s apprehension just snickers, “You really couldn’t. Also, you aren’t very sure about many things Jeno.” His nose and ears are red now too, and Jeno fears that his ruby cheeks were just another effect from the cold and his random confession was the aftermath of finals melting Donghyuck’s brain into goo.

But then he feels Donghyuck’s thin and impossibly warm fingers sneak into Jeno’s hand in his pocket and Jeno soars.

“I’m sure of a few.”

“Like what,” Donghyuck goes cross eyed as he watches a snowflake drift and land perfectly on the tip of his nose.

With a small burst of courage and maybe a push from the little voices in the back of his head (they sounded awfully a lot like Chenle, Jisung, and Doyoung), Jeno rushes in and kisses the snowflake away, letting it melt on his pink mouth, “Like how badly I want to kiss you too.”

Lee Donghyuck.

Vibrant, gorgeous, and effervescent Lee Donghyuck.

Jeno’s Lee Donghyuck.

He’s blazing in Jeno’s arms and Jeno thinks to himself briefly that the other really does fit there perfectly. Like a burning sun finding a place to rest and heal in the embrace of its cool moon.

Donghyuck feels like nostalgia driven memories of past summers and reminders of the upcoming ones. The same summers that two silly young boys spend running around the playground, sweat and grime sticking to their faces and dirtying their clothes, but they’ve got big smiles and laughter as sweet as the sticky fruit popsicles they buy later from the ice cream truck. Young and carefree, tucked away in their little corner of the world where all that matters is running as hard as you can, lungs tightening and muscles aching, before the other tags you. A small place in the universe where the sun and the moon can remember the times when long ago, love was a foreign concept, girls had cooties, and boys had lots of scrapes to kiss better.

The younger was hot in Jeno’s arms and Jeno wants him closer, to feel the warmth leak out of him and melt through Jeno’s uniform, into his skin, and through his bloodstream. Jeno pulls him tighter and feels two Donghyuck’s-hand-shaped circles of heat blossom on his back underneath his coat. The red scarf hangs loosely between them and Jeno laughs to himself of how foolish he’d been to not see that he never needed his powers or a celestial bow and heart-tipped arrows to figure out who Donghyuck’s soulmate was. How utterly stupid he was to believe for even a second he never stood a chance.

It’s always been him. 

A snowflake falls on Donghyuck’s lips and with a shy smile and rosy cheeks, Donghyuck closes his eyes and offers Jeno to take it.

Jeno meets him there and they melt together under the December snowfall.