Chapter Text
Sunday, 11:2AM
Midoriya Izuku has added 8 people to the chat!
Midoriya Izuku has changed their name to 'brain machine broke'!
brain machine broke has changed the group name to "wannabe heroes n hoes"!
brain machine broke : :D
Toga Himiko : izukun WHY would you do this
Dabi : he's an agent of chaos that's why
this was a horrible idea though and you know it
brain machine broke : it's to keep in contact if smth goes wrong rude!!!!
now change ur names plebs
Toga Himiko changed their name to 'uwu'!
Dabi changed their name to 'zuko'!
Bubaigawara Jin changed their name to 'mental health whomst'!
Iguchi Shuuichi changed their name to 'irl ninja turtle'!
Magne changed their name to 'queen'!
brain machine broke : @everyone u all gotta do it!!! :(
Shimura Tenko : No.
zuko has changed Shimura Tenko's name to 'dusty crusty musty'!
dusty crusty musty : DO YOU WANT TO DIE YOU SHITTY HOT TOPIC MANAGER
zuko : yeah?????? duh????????//
Kurogiri : No wishing death upon yourself in this home.
brain machine broke has changed Kurogiri's name to 'best dad'!
best dad : Thank you, Izuku.
brain machine broke : :D
Mustard has changed their name to 'nuclear bomb'!
nuclear bomb has changed Sako Atsuhiro's name to 'peewee's playhouse'!
peewee's playhouse : Do you want to be stuck in a marble?
nuclear bomb : a little bit. :)
brain machine broke has changed dusty crusty musty's name to 'shiggy'!
shiggy : glad someone in this house fucking loves me.
zuko : wow, 1 whole person
brain machine broke : can yall not fight for T W O seconds or.
zuko : no
shiggy : No.
uwu : izukun it's tenko and dabi... are you REALLY surprised
brain machine broke : no but i dont like it >:(
best dad : I ask we refrain from fighting in front of the children, thank you.
shiggy : they beat the shit out of people for a living, they can handle me calling dabi out for looking like the grimace from mcdonalds' foresekin.
zuko : ion wanna hear that from the guy who'd buy gamer girl pee
uwu : im going to stab you BOTH if you don't shut the fuck up!!!!!!!
nuclear bomb : i hate this fucking household.
brain machine broke : maybe this was a bad idea
uwu : YOU WHORES MADE IZUKUN SAD I WILL FUCKING E N D Y O U
zuko : not my fault shiggy can't handle a joke
shiggy : how about i hand-le you over to the heroes.
zuko : whatre they gonna do? huh? burn me alive? fake my death? send me to another boarding school where i'm forced to survive out of fear only to then "die"?
b i t c h
brain machine broke : :( touya..
im gonna kick the commission's asses!!!
shiggy : moron. we're going to do more than kick their asses.
best dad : Indeed.
zuko : damn... having a supporting and loving family do hit different doe
uwu : we love you dumbass!!!! you're stupid but you're OUR stupid
zuko : feelin the love, miko miko mii
nuclear bomb : you're tolerable
mental health whomst : we love you dabi!!!:D
peewee's playhouse : something like that
irl ninja turtle : yeah man, you're great!
zuko : im fr about to cry dont do this to me
shiggy : cry then bitch
zuko : nevermind crying time over gfys crusty
brain machine broke : : (
Tuesday, 03:31AM
brain machine broke : so... may have accidentally met the underground hero eraserhead
zuko : iZU HOW?
brain machine broke : I WAS AT MCDONALDS GETTING US SOME CHICKEN NUGGIES AND THEN A MUGGING STARTED AND I WAS LIKE "AHT AHT" AND THEN HE FUCKING. JUMPED FROM THE S K Y
IT WAS SO COOL BUT ALSO SO SCARY
I GOT HIS PHONE NUMBER AND EVERYTHING IM MAKING HIM MAKE A DISCORD
best dad : As much as I understand your excitement, perhaps it's not a great idea to get buddy buddy with a hero as a vigilante.
Just a thought.
queen : Yeah that's.... not your brightest idea, baby.
brain machine broke : ok i understand the concern but he was being really nice
i think he was worried about me being a vig?? cuz of the age thing
shiggy : Ironic, considering you're the strongest of us outside of Dabi.
zuko : so you think im powerful ;)
shiggy : what's his number for personal reasons.
brain machine broke : ok number 1 tenko ur so sweet i would commit grand larsony against the government for u
2 dabi be nice!!!
3 no
4 i'm adding him :)
best dad : Izuku wait.
brain machine broke has added 1 person to the chat!
brain machine broke has changed Aizawa Shouta's name to 'the only hero'!
the only hero : what is this
uwu : IZU HE'S LITERALLY A HERO WHY DID YOU ADD HIM
brain machine broke : welcome to the "we're vigilantes because society has failed us significantly and we're traumatized" group chat!!!
zuko : damn bro u really gon call us out like that?
mental health whomst : you're right but you shouldn't say it izu :(((
queen : I'm a vigilante for the pay obviously /s
best dad : You're correct.
uwu : tfw everyone hates you because of your quirk and instead of offering mental help they kick you out <33333333
peewee's playhouse : speak for yourselves im in it for the FAME bitches
nuclear bomb : i'm in it because i hate fake heroes but go off ig
shiggy : we can agree on that, mustard.
the only hero : so let me get this straight
you are a group of vigilantes
you know that i am a hero
you add me to this group
zuko : it wouldn't be the dumbest thing izu has done so
brain machine broke : MEAN DABI!!!:(((
i mean you're right
bUT MEAN.
and ok to explain why i added you
you're actually a great hero and even though a lot of people may not know you, you've really proven yourself to be incredibly talented and very smart. you're strong and you fight mainly quirkless which is a talent in this day and age. you don't take bribes, you don't do things for money, and you don't abuse your power. you're one of the few heroes all of us actually can stand and i thought maybe we could.. i dunno. talk?
about hero stuff
we all wanna be heroes but we can't for one reason or another, and we all have issues with society for (again) one reason or another
we've all been hurt before and you've really inspired us
shiggy : disgusting
he's right but disgusting. emotions.
zuko : oh mood
best dad : To add on, we've all suffered some form of trauma or instance with a pro-above ground-hero that has left a sour taste in our mouths. Some of us more than others, but it's still there.
the only hero : this all sounds serious
can i ask backstories or am i gonna be left in the dark?
zuko : you require 5k more friendship points to unlock my tragic backstory
shiggy : same.
peewee's playhouse : I don't have a tragic backstory, I'm just here for the ride!
uwu : i'll go then COWARDS!!!!
hi i'm toga himiko! so i have a quirk that requires blood to work, and so as a side effect, i have a reallllyyyy big interest in blood
the only hero : concerned but not surprised
uwu : EXACTLY!!!! it makes sense!!!!
but turns out, you don't make friends when you tell them they're prettier covered in blood and having a thing for raw meat and dead animals
the only hero : i mean. that also makes sense
uwu : but instead of my parents being like "hm maybe we should take our daughter to a p s y c h o l o g i s t" they were like "nah lets just kick this bitch out with 50000 yen and tell her to survive on her own in a shitty town where the crime rate is 5 times higher than the japanese average!"
the only hero : what the fuck
shiggy : i'm still mad you won't let me dust them.
brain machine broke : for once i agree with tenko!!!!
uwu : i thankfully met dabi (@zuko ) and he was able to take me in and help me into this group but
still sucks to be abandoned? and bullied relentlessly? and then brushed off by heroes because "oh im sure your parents aren't that bad"!
brain machine broke : consider : i commit my first murder and it's your parents!
best dad : While I normally don't condone murder... perhaps this once.
brain machine broke : thanks dad :)
zuko : love that izu finally has a father figure
best dad : You do too, Dabi. I'm here for you as well.
zuko : :')))))))) fucking love my dad bro
brain machine broke : i guess since i added you i get to tell my my Tragic Backstory™️
so basically, i'm quirkless, which in this day and age is a death sentence lol
i found out when i was like 5/6, and my dad said "this bitch empty, Y E E T"
best dad : No memeing your trauma.
brain machine broke : yes papa :(
and my mom... got worse over time. she started out as a helicopter parent but it turned into her being really mean
and i get that she was stressed but some of the stuff she said was really bad
zuko : may i quote one thing to make sure he gets how bad it was
brain machine broke : under a spoiler, yeah!
zuko : bet
[ SPOILER ] she said, and i quote, "you'll never amount to anything, you deserve everything [redacted] does. you need to understand that i only say this out of love. you're my little izuku, i don't want you getting hurt by trying to do something when you can't do anything."
brain machine broke : thanks for redacting that name
zuko : np np
brain machine broke : continuing on, i was also bullied by my childhood friend kacchan
he called me deku, blew shit up, left spider lilies on my desk, beat me
and then some stuff happened im not cool talking about
and uhhh after that i met my fave hero which would be cool if he hadnt said verbatim that ic ant be a hero
and that was after kacchan told me to kill myself sot ha tfjcuking sucked
srory
im getting a little uh
emotioal
best dad : Do you want me to come get you and hold you?
brain machine broke : pleas e
uwu : can i come too izu?
brain machine broke : yeah
zuko : want me to finish the story?
brain machine broke : yes
zuko : gotcha. i'll let shiggy handle the emotional stuff. love you kid.
to finish off the story, izu did, in fact, jump off the roof
the one that hero left him on
after crushing his fucking dreams
but yknow.
so yeah this whole group?
trauma and issues with heroes
the only hero : I'm sorry for just now saying this but. What the FUCK? Both of you are children and never should go through that. What the actual FUCK?
zuko : yeah and we aint even talked about what the hero commission did to me LMAO
the only hero : I won't tell anyone about this group chat, as long as you guys are able to avoid murdering someone in cold blood.
shiggy : what counts as cold blood?
nuclear bomb : we plan to murder toga's parents, someone toga didnt mention bc she's uncomfortable speaking about it, izuku's mom, kacchan, dabi's dad, and said hero
the only hero : ... Just don't get caught.
queen : Well, I'm glad we got hero permission... I guess??
peewee's playhouse : Color me surprised!
I'm glad, though. Because we'd do it anyway.
irl ninja turtle : yeah... just nice to know there is a good hero though.
the only hero : There's a lot of good heroes, unfortunately they just don't let themselves be known as much. Present Mic's another good one, I can add him one day.
irl ninja turtle : fuck yeah dude!!
mental health whomst : YES YES YE SYE S
queen : Sorry about Twice, he loves Present Mic!
mental health whomst : HE'S SO COOL AND HE WORKS WITH HSI QURIK EVEN THO IT'S MADE HSI EHARING GO HE'S SO OCOL
the only hero : I'm guessing your quirk hurts you?
queen : He's not big on talking about it, but his quirk is the ability to duplicate anything living or not if he has exact measurements on it. That includes himself, and some stuff went down that made him pretty... not stable mentally. He's gotten better! He just looks up to heroes who can overcome their quirks issues and use them.
the only hero : .. I'll put in a good word.
mental health whomst : THNAK YOU SO MUCH ERASEHREAD THANK YOU THANKYOU THANK YOU
the only hero : yeah yeah, it's fine
well, i won't tell anyone about this so. continue doing what you're doing
zuko : time to commit arson
the only hero : wait no,