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sleep in heavenly peace
Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
'Round yon virgin Mother and Child
Holy infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace
I heave a sigh, stepping forward to knock on the worn apartment door that seems to mock me.
Hell, I didn’t want to be here. But…
“Kat-jii! Kat-jii!”
… it’s not like I can actually stay away.
I grunt in surprise as I snatch the little blonde girl up before she could eat welcome mat she’s so fucking small and put her on my hip. She squeals and giggles brightly, little front teeth perfect squares as she grins up at me, dark copper eyes sparkling. She babbles a bit, still not used to using words, and I nod along as I enter the apartment and lock the door behind me. I’m about to worry about where the fuck her parents are but stop as the dumb blonde rounds the corner with a panicked gleam in his eyes.
The panic drops immediately as he sees his kid, and the High Beta’s face instead spreads into a grateful grin as he catches sight of me as well.
The obvious welcome is nice to see.
“Hey, look its Mr. Grinch!” Never mind, I’m fucking leaving. The thoughts must translate somehow to the dunce. His brow quirks in confusion as he steps up, reaching for his daughter who calls out a garbled chichi chichi before he asks, “What’s got you in a tiff this time ‘round?”
And I falter, just a moment, the flash of the void and ringing silence and screaming panic coming to mind before I shrug and shake my head, pushing back the void as far as it’ll fucking go as I grumble, “Nothing, Sparky. Shut up.” Sparky shrugs and puts his squirming brat down, the toddler wobbling back in the direction of the living room as she mutters to herself.
But there’s also a snort at that, one that has my hackles rising, as a short, slim woman rounds the corner with a sly slant to her mouth, “Well isn’t that a mood around the holidays?” I sneer at her, not caring if it’s ‘rude’ or whatever to bare one’s teeth in another Alpha’s home. But Ear-Jack just rolls her eyes, turning back down the hall and wanders to the kitchen with a lazy wave over her shoulder, “Hello Bakugou.”
“Jirou.” I ignore the placating hand motions Sparky is making in my direction, pleading look on his face as I move into the living room. Shitty hair is already there, grinning widely at the little lightning bug that is Kanna as she babbles aimlessly and digs through a pile of tissue paper with as much purpose as a two year old can have. The redhead cheerfully waves my way, eyes glinting, and I barely have time to nod at him before a tiny blonde body is streaking towards me again.
I kneel down to catch the kid before she trips on her own feet, and smile as she looks up with wide copper eyes.
“Hey, taser, thought I just saw you?”
I lean back a bit as she shoves something in my face, teeth making another appearance as she grins at me, “Kat-jii lookit lookit what Kiri gave me!”
And, as gentle as I can, I take the little floppsy stuffed rabbit from the girl, fingers tingling from the static already clinging to the velvet body and smirk.
“Well, ain’t that somethin’? It’ll go perfect with my gift.” If only because now she can annoy Ear-Jack with constant tea parties whenever she feels like it.
But apparently my words are wrong, as the tiny hellion looks up at me with saucer sized eyes as I hand back the rabbit. Then she whispers, loudly, “What you got me?”
And I have to bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself snarling at the bastards who are chuckling behind my back. Instead, I smile and pat the girl on the head, gently, “Not till tomorrow, taser. That’s against the rules.”
To which I get a pout, and then a huff, and she’s running off to the kitchen to babble at someone else.
But that’s fine.
That pout was fucking worth it.
Especially as I feel something cold and dark and twisted deep in my chest finally start to break away, melt and fall and fade as I stand and make my way to the couch. I flop on the rouge colored cushions, heaving a sigh to try and expel the last of that twisted thing, and lean my head back to try and get some semblance of rest.
At least before the party started.
But, apparent-fucking-ly, that wasn’t a good action.
“Hey bro,” I twitch, opening one eye to glare sideways to another pair of vermillion eyes. My gut rolls with the open concern in them, something snarling and rabid twisting at the sight, “you good?”
And fuck, I want to tell him. I want to explain everything about these shitty dreams, the acrid aftertaste they always left, the bitter, vile feeling they left in his brain like oil and slime and grease.
I want to tell him.
But I can’t.
Because if I told him about the dream, the after taste, the feeling…
I’d have to tell him about the hours I spent after this one just… sitting.
Sitting by the bedroom window, staring out at the falling midnight snow, searching for something I doesn’t know the sight of.
And wondering… about the well being of something I have yet to name.
So, instead of telling him, explaining to him, I just huff, leaning further back into the couch, and closing my eyes to the light and laughter and warmth I have yet to actually feel since walking in.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
alleluia
Silent night, holy night!
Shepherds quake at the sight!
Glories stream from heaven afar;
Heavenly hosts sing Al-le-lu-ia!
Christ the Savior is born!
Christ the Savior is born!
Christ the Savior is born!
The wind batters against the rafters.
The window shutters rattle and bend with the force of it.
But the bodies within, hundreds of them, barely react as the storm rages on outside.
Instead, all those eyes are locked on the very center of the room, arms wrapped around neighbors, legs tangled together, bodies laid upon each other to share as much warmth and comfort and presence to get them by. And all eyes turned to that very center, where a green haired teen crouches, talking to a young boy around 10 as another small child clings to his back.
No one can hear his words, all for the small redhaired and blue eyed boy, but they don’t mind.
The gentle gestures and kind looks keeps them all grounded, unworried, patient as they watch the boy nod quickly and start walking the perimeter of the small area left in the middle of the pack.
The green haired teen leans back, small smile on his face as he adjusts the girl on his back gently and moves to the edge. Once there, the bodies around him move forward to press against his sides, and gentle hands help him move the girl around so she’s sitting in his lap, her bright yellow eyes darting around as she nibbles on the ear of a rag-bunny one of the Omega’s had made her so many years ago. The teen wraps gentle arms around her as a younger silver haired Alpha shuffles closer, pressing against his side as he watches the boy make another round of the area.
“Deku,” the green teen looks over, emerald eyes soft and patient, “you sure we’re allowed to do this?”
The teen, Deku, just chuckles at that, pulling the girl closer as he smiles at the boy now standing still in the center of the space.
“Who’s stopping us?”
The answer seems to appease the silver haired boy, his grey eyes losing a bit of the apprehension lingering there as he watches the redhead start tracing small patterns in the dirt with a toe.
“Champ?”
Deku looks down, meeting the brilliant yellow gaze of the girl in his lap. He smiles, gently, and traces a gentle finger along the edge of one of her inch long horns as he croons, “Hey Eliza.” She chirrups, bouncing in place and dropping her rag bunny in her excitement. Deku chuckles a bit, the silver alpha huffing his own laugh as the greenette reaches forward to pick up the doll and places it back in the girls lap, “Here you go, hun.” He wraps his arms around the squirming child tighter, motioning to the now dancing boy a few yards in front of them, “Now, watch closely, right? This is special, only for when the snow’s on the ground. But you have to be quiet, okay?”
“Why?” and Deku smiles, because the girl had whispered so secretly, so wonderously, so loudly, and the surrounding faces smile gently at the innocence that’s yet to break as Deku chuckles and bops her on the nose.
“Because it’s a secret, yeah?”
“Okie!” and she looks at him with gaps in her grin but a fire in her eyes before turning back to the boy in the center.
The boy who shimmers with color and shapes and light.
A red sleigh, streaking into the night.
Silver bells, tinkling through the air like snowflakes.
Bounding creatures with antlers and red noses, trotting through clouds and the stars.
Garlands of lights and holly and snow and oh…
It’s breath taking.
And in the wake of the light and beauty and the fading sound of the storm outside, Deku can hear the faintest of a song, starting with a breath from a pair of lips, and rising to a sigh among the group.
A gentle, quiet, secret song, a joy and hope held so close to the heart it barely breaks out even now.
And Deku can’t help his small smile growing to a bittersweet grin, even as tears sparkle like ornaments on his cheeks as he joins in on the music of the season.
Oh so silent in the precious, snowflake-delicate peace of this holiest of nights.
a child is born
Silent night, holy night
Son of God, oh, love's pure light
Radiant beams from Thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Jesus, Lord at Thy birth
Jesus, Lord at Thy birth
Jesus, Lord at Thy birth
The world is void of sound, so empty of that single part of life the ears ring and skin tingles as the body searches for it.
It searches so hard, that sometimes one can hear the whisper feather light drop of a new flake drifting against the white blanketed world.
A mother lingers in that silence, eyes closed to complete the limbo of the world surrounding their home, their haven from the cold and dark and white.
The family that took them in, gave them rest, gave them help even when words were foreign and unknown and new, had fallen to the throws of sleep hours before, letting the mother linger alone by the fire pit set in the small family room. They’d given the mother a blanket, some tea, had swaddled their child in a new wool knit blanket, made by the elder woman who’d been there to wipe away sweat and hold onto pain clenched hands.
Now, they slept, breathing fading into the background nothingness of falling snow while the fire died out to humming embers that reminded the mother of a different heat.
Of crimson and fanged grins and ashen spikes.
Of heated hands and roaring fury and blazing passion.
The child cooed in their swaddle, and the mother looks away from the dimming embers to stroke soothing, ragged fingers against satin apple cheeks.
So small.
So precious.
So alive.
How the mother’s heart ached as they caught sight of a curve of the nose, an arch to a brow, that reminded them of a mate who offered a hand with a feral grin.
Who claimed their heart despite the fractures already marring it.
The child settles again into sleep, and the mother looks once more to the fire, then the window, to the falling white outside the soundless haven they’ve found themselves in.
For a moment, they believe they see the star that made this night the holiest of history.
And, for a moment, they let themself pray, before going into the night with a fractured heart and a desperate hope for one second longer with another thousands of miles away.