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She didn’t flinch when the sound of her trap door being thrown open echoed through her room. She knew why he was here, why he was mad at her. Marinette only continued to fold the rest of her laundry as she heard his heavy footsteps approach her from behind.
“What the hell was that.”
Scratch that, he was furious.
She rolled her shoulder, her whole left side still sore from the impact of the akuma throwing her into the wall. It was a fetal attempt on her part to try and protect Chat without the protection of her suit, but he was distracted, and she couldn’t transform, and Paris needed him, so the best option she could conjure up at that moment was to take the hit for him.
And take the hit she did.
“If you came here for an apology, you’re not getting one.” She kept her eyes focused on the clothes in front of her, fingers beginning to tighten in the shirt she held as the air around them tensed. She could practically feel the anger radiating off of him.
She heard him take in a shuddering breath before he spoke. “The point of me having a magical suit in the first place is so that I can take the hits, so why in the hell would you—“
She turned her head slightly as she replied, glimpsing at his tense form; back rigid and fists clenched tightly by his sides as if holding in a likely outburst. “You were distracted and the akuma was about to attack, and Ladybug wasn’t there yet which meant Paris needed you at your best while she got there.”
“That’s not an excuse.”
She rolled her eyes and turned to look at him, hands dropping the garment on the floor, clenched fists falling to her side. “So-so what was I supposed to do then, Chat? Stand by and watch you get thrown around, outright beaten down with no backup, when I can step in and help? I don’t think so. That’s not me. You know that’s not me.”
He let out a grunt of frustration, mouth opening and closing in an effort to find the right words. “You’re supposed to stay out of the way is what you’re supposed to do! Not-not just jump into something you have no experience in, not to mention the fact that you aren’t a superhero! You aren’t me! You aren’t Ladybug!”
She flinched at the last word, but Chat didn’t seem to notice.
She stared him down, unrelenting in her position. “I’m not sorry.” She let out a slight laugh as she continued. “Hell, I’d do it again.” She felt the familiar sting of tears pushing against her eyes, and she wasn’t too sure why.
“No, you won’t.” His voice wavered, his stern stare slowly fading into something akin to desperation.
“And how exactly are you going to stop me, Chat?”
He was standing in front of her now. She wasn’t terribly sure when he had moved forward towards her, but she was suddenly very aware of the body heat that radiated off him, seeping through her clothes, causing goosebumps to prickle at her skin. Sometimes she hated the effect he had on her. Now, of all times.
“Because I’m going to stand here until you promise me that you won’t do it. That you won’t take a hit for me, ever again.”
She just stared at him, eyes bearing into his. He wasn’t asking anymore, he was begging her to make a promise. A promise she knew damn well she couldn’t keep. Because not only was she his lover in civilian form, but unbeknownst to him she was also his partner; His partner that was supposed to protect him and have his back no matter what the situation. Suit or no suit, she had vowed to protect him. Marinette knew the risks. She knew what she was doing and yet it still ached within her that she couldn’t just tell him so he would stop worrying about her.
She didn’t once take her eyes off him as he stared her down, their chests practically bumping as she inched closer. They were both too stubborn for this, and they both knew it. She knew that this was something that he wouldn’t let up on, not now and not ever. But she couldn’t just lie to him. Make a promise to him that she knew she would have to break when the next akuma came to terrorize the city. It would eat her alive. It would eat him alive if he knew.
Damn that tear she felt caressing her cheek.
Her voice was small but strong and unwavering when she spoke. “I can’t do that.”
“Bullshit.”
His voice shook, anger and hurt laced through the word as his eyes still bored into hers, unrelenting.
“I’m not going to make a promise that I can’t keep, Chat.”
He huffed in angry frustration, turning around to pace as his hands gipped and pulled at his hair.
Marinette wrapped her arms around herself, a sense of security she suddenly felt very in need of gradually danced away from her and pulled towards him. She hated this; seeing him so distraught. And the worst part is that she understands. She knows exactly why he’s furious with her, and she would be reacting the same way with him if their roles were reversed. She would be beyond furious with him for putting himself in the line of fire for her when she can take a hit.
Yet here she is, ribs aching and stubbornness unrelenting because dammit this was her partner and the man she loves all in one, and if she can prevent him from being injured even outside of her superhero persona, then that’s exactly what she was going to do.
“What’s so hard about staying out of the line of fire, huh? Staying somewhere where I know you’re safe.” He’s several feet away from her now, chest still heaving with labored breaths as his demeanor continued to slip.
“I’m not just going to sit back and watch you get hurt.” She sniffs, another tear finding its way down her face.
“How do you think I feel?!” He practically screams it, and she takes a slight step back at his outburst, fingernails digging into the skin of her upper arms. She can only hope that her parents didn’t hear it.
“Do you understand where I’m coming from? You’re my life, Marinette. It’s my job to protect you and I can’t do that if you’re out there playing rescue op when I can take care of myself.”
“Rescue—how do you expect me to—“
He’s across the room before she can even get the rest of her sentence out. His hands come to rest on each side of her face, holding her in place before she can make a move to step back. “Because I can’t lose you!”
She sees his tears now, even through the glassiness of her own, and it makes her stomach knot in distress. He’s distraught, and it’s because of her, and if she could only just tell him the truth this whole thing would just be fixed, and god she should just tell him.
“Chat,” her voice cracks, and she can’t stop the rest of her tears from coming now.
“Please, I’m not…I-I can’t—“
She sighs, grabbing his wrists to gently pull him into her. He wraps her up without a thought, arms encircling her as sobs wrack his body. She hates that in this moment she finds peace in his arms when she knows she shouldn’t. Not when he’s like this, shaking in her arms over his fear of losing her. Her own tears are falling now, mixing with his.
They stand there for a while as they cry together, wrapped in each other’s arms. It’s a stupid situation, really; one that could be avoided altogether if she just told him the truth.
But she was scared. Scared that if she did reveal herself to him, it would ruin what they had. Scared that he would remember all the times she had rejected him as Ladybug and leave out of resentment. That he would realize that he could do better than her. She couldn’t do that. She couldn’t lose him.
Their tears slowly died down, and their breathing became even again, but they stayed rooted in that same place, laced in each other’s embraces.
“I love you. You’re not gonna lose me.” She breathed, her voice small and muffled against his shoulder. She felt his arms tighten around her, and it squeezed her heart just that much more.
“I promise.”