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Living in a world with extreme quarantine measures had its pros and cons, depending on the person. It wasn’t really the biggest deal for Skeppy in the beginning, because most of the time he was always inside recording videos or scrolling through twitter. Sure, it sucked to not be able to see friends and family without the looming risk of getting sick and possibly spreading it to others, but in the beginning it really didn’t matter that much to him. When going into this new quarantine lifestyle, he hadn’t really thought about how long this new way of life would have to last- but it was clear to him now he hadn’t mentally prepared for it to be this long. No one could have prepared for this, really.
The year was finally ending, after a long struggle of surviving 2020. There was no real guarantee that 2021 would be any better, considering the world would still be going into the new year dealing with the virus, but there was always a chance things would turn around for the better. Skeppy was really hoping for that.
Because as much as he could handle the idea of being alone, having so many online friends and so many ways to talk to them thanks to technology, his body was starting to really disagree with his brain on that point. He knew that this was for the greater good, to stay home as much as possible and social distance and all of that, and while he wasn’t the best at following the whole ‘stay home’ thing considering his recent travels, he’d still been keen to keep up the social distancing. But that didn’t make it suck any less. Skeppy felt dissatisfied, though he had no real reason to. He had a great life, and he was lucky to have it, but something in his body felt missing. Unwhole. And he knew exactly what it was, as embarrassing it could be.
Skeppy missed physical contact, desperately. Sure, in his recent travels to hang out with friends or family, there would be the less common handshake or hug or whatever, but that wasn’t nearly enough anymore. He’d hug Rocco for hours when the dog allowed him to, but that wasn’t enough either. It was driving him absolutely up the wall, being unable to make himself feel any better. He hated whatever primal instinct in his brain that made him crave prolonged contact at this point. He’d be fine if it wasn’t for that.
Every once in a while he’d see someone on Twitter complaining about being touch-starved. He hated seeing those tweets on his timeline, mainly because he could relate now. He didn’t want to feel like this. He didn’t want to relate. Something about being so vulnerable and needy didn’t sit right with him. He could pretend and fit into a clingy role whenever it was funny to do so, but this was more overwhelming than faking it. And he still couldn’t do anything about it.
Skeppy’s thoughts trailed off to thinking about his best friend again. They’d really tried to meet before 2020 ended, but it hadn’t been in the cards. He was so tired of waiting, but when Bad caught the virus he really couldn’t be in the right to keep pestering. Hell, even their fans were tired of waiting, and they weren’t even a part of the act of meeting up. They were just hoping for something to happen, whatever that might be. Skeppy remembered a video a few years back, where he’d asked if Bad would give him a hug everyday if they became roommates. Bad had agreed and then backpedaled when he actually processed the question.
Skeppy wondered if he’d changed his stance by now.
They were best friends now, after all. But then again, Skeppy was unsure about Bad’s physical boundaries still since they had yet to meet up. Bad might give him a hug when they first meet, but then he could be pretty distant. It was unknown to him. He hoped it wasn’t like that though. He knew that this feeling of touch deprivation was probably going to stick around for a good while, even though it would drive him nuts. The thought of being able to just hug someone for a prolonged period of time was making his brain go haywire, and it was so embarrassing in his head. He was getting all red tormenting himself with thoughts of being held. It was ridiculous.
And if it couldn’t get any worse, Skeppy’s phone went off, signaling someone was calling him. As if the universe wanted to make him feel even more flustered, it was Bad who was calling him. Still, he’d never purposefully ignore a call from his best friend.
“Hi!” Skeppy shouted obnoxiously into the phone, turning on speaker as he put his phone back on the side of his bed beside him.
“Oh my goodness.” Bad’s voice sounded from the other side, a hint of amusement in his tone. “Hello to you too, Skeppy.”
“What’s up? Why’re you calling?” Skeppy asked casually, trying to forget about his thoughts from a few seconds prior.
“What, I can’t just call you for no reason?” Bad asked, audibly pouting. “Does our friendship mean nothing?”
“Nonono, I didn’t- Bad, come on, don’t be like that.” Skeppy backpedaled with a whine. “Of course you can call whenever, it’s just that you usually have a reason to.”
Bad hummed, paused, before softening his tone a little. “I dunno. I just felt like I should check up on you. It’s probably nothing, you’re probably fine, I just felt… off. Does that make any sense?”
Skeppy sighed, letting a bit of his act fall away. “Yeah, no, I get it. You’re okay. Thank you for checking up on me, Bad.”
Another pause. “Are you okay, Geppy? You sound a bit sad.”
Skeppy still couldn’t let himself talk about it directly. It was still embarrassing. Instead, he answered Bad’s question with another question. “Hey Bad? Do you remember our conversation a while ago where I asked if you’d give me a hug everyday if we became roommates?”
He could hear Bad’s face twist into an expression of confused curiosity. “Uh, yeah, I do. What about it?”
“I was just thinking… well. Um. I’m not saying we would become roommates, that’s a discussion for another time. But when we, yknow, finally meet up, would you… would you be comfortable with actually fulfilling that? Back then you said you weren’t sure about committing to that, but this year’s just been really sucky overall, and I guess…” He was rambling now, but it was too difficult to bite his tongue and stop. “I just… I think I need it. It’s been awhile since I’ve felt satisfied in my own skin. Do you get what I mean?”
Skeppy almost panicked when silence followed the end of his little rant. For a moment he was afraid he’d overwhelmed Bad or something, but thankfully that wasn’t the case.
“I get it.” Bad said simply. “You know I was never big on hugs to begin with, and I was always going to make an exception for you when we met up, but ever since all of this social distancing stuff happened, it just feels so lonely in my own skin. And I can ignore it mostly, but it just drains you after a while. Is that what you’ve been feeling too?”
“Yeah.” Skeppy breathed out, almost a little relieved that he wasn’t alone in this. “Yeah, exactly like that.”
Bad giggled softly on the other end. “I think we both just need a really long hug then, huh?”
“Yeah.” Skeppy repeated, almost dumbly.
More giggles from Bad. “You sound like a broken record Skeppy.”
Skeppy snorted. “It’s just been one of those years, yknow Bad?”
“Yeah, you’re right.” Bad sighed. “I really hope we can meet up soon, Skeppy. I know I was basically pushing it off for so long, and I really did want to do it this month, but then I got sick, and it all just fell apart…”
“It’s okay Bad, you’re okay.” Skeppy soothed quickly. “We couldn’t have predicted that would happen. I’m just so glad you’re alright now.”
“Aw… I am too.” Bad replied happily. “But to answer your earlier question, yes, I will hug you everyday when we meet up. For as long as you need it. But would you… offer me the same?”
“Of course I would!” Skeppy replied quickly, almost offended. “What sort of horrible best friend would I be to ask something of you and then not give you the same? Whatever you need, I’ll do my best to give it.”
“Awww, thank you Skeppy! That means a lot, really.” Bad almost cooed, his good mood becoming contagious.
The two of them continued to talk, though about other subjects now, Twitter, Minecraft, the SMP, their channels, all of the normal stuff. It got to be really late in the night and they were still talking, carried away with just being able to chat to each other. At some point, Skeppy started to zone out and stop paying attention, unconsciously bringing one of his pillows into his arms and hugging it tightly as he lay on his bed on his side. He could hear Bad’s voice, but his brain was too fuzzy with exhaustion now to make out exactly what he was saying. Skeppy hoped Bad could tell he was fading based on his less-enthusiastic replies. He was glad they got to talk for a good while.
And as he was drifting off into dreamland, the itch on his skin was subdued with him hugging a pillow and being able to hear his best friend’s voice. It wasn't the same as the real thing, but it was enough for now.