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He was pinned against the wall of the hotel room as Terry's body leaned into him. Kissing, when did the kissing start? It was tough to piece it all together, but that probably had something to do with all the alcohol he had consumed at the bar earlier. How did he keep ending up like this?
Terry. Terry was really at the core of it all. He had always tried to shake the feelings he had for the man but it was impossible, and even more difficult to stay away. Hell, even being beaten to a bloody pulp by his family wasn't enough to keep him away. They could just be friends, at least that's what he kept telling himself. And their little trips together were nothing more than sightseeing. Except they weren't. Every trip, no matter where always included alcohol and a compromised situation.
For a time, that didn't seem to matter to him, as long as they were discreet about it. If it was their secret then it couldn't hurt them. Except it did, it had hurt him. Apparently not enough though because here he was again and again and again.
Arms around the younger man's neck he took fistfuls of hair, moaning as the kisses continued. Terry pulled back for an instant giving him that feral look that drove him wild.
"Dear God…" his voice was hushed as his eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of Terry's lips along his jaw, his tongue along his earlobe before he began his work down his neck.
He wanted it, he wanted it all. Flashes of past encounters passed through his mind which only made his desire for his lover to take him grow. Fingers still in Terry's hair he guided those scorching lips back to his own as he kissed passionately. His lips parted as he coaxed the other's tongue into his own mouth, sucking at it playfully.
Terry's soft hands made their way up his sides, taking the fabric of his shirt along with them. This was it, he was ready. At least he had thought he was until he felt the other's hand rest on his ribcage and he winced, pulling back as he smacked his head into the wall.
His brothers in all their love and caring had managed to bruise his ribs, and though the physical injury had healed, there was an emotional one that ran much deeper. He went limp, almost like a doll in Terry's arms.
Terry backed off, he was still panting but his breath started to even out as he forced Mikey to meet his gaze.
"Tell me what’s wrong."
"I…" How could he even explain it? That his very existence felt like he was an abomination and failure. That the one thing he wanted more than anything in the world was also the one thing he should never have. Terry would never understand it, how could he? He had no family left, no one to answer to but himself.
He couldn't even figure out why he cared. He'd been all but cut off from his brothers and brother in law. Why did he allow them to have so much power over him when he knew for a fact they would never give him the same.
Terry reached out, caressing his face gently, "It's your family, isn't it?"
He gave a nod, unable to say it vocally.
"You should know by now that when I want something, I'll do whatever it takes to get it. So if that means I have to be patient to have you, Mickey, I'll wait forever."
He didn't deserve Terry, but then again he didn't think he deserved much. "I don't want to wait forever…"
Terry chuckled, "Neither do I, but you're fucked enough as it is, I'm not going to make it worse by forcing you."
Mikey couldn't help the smile that tugged at his lips. "You're pretty fucked yourself."
Terry gave him a knowing look. "You don't see the shit we've seen and not end up a little fucked. It's late, should I help you to your room or can your drunk ass manage on your own?"
Mikey shook his head. "No, I'm staying here. I'm staying with you."
"You're sure?"
"I am."