Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Saturday morning. 'Taire was awake far earlier than she wanted to be, having been rudely awakened by a screaming match from the flat across the way. It sounded pretty bad, but then she heard the door slam and then a few minutes later the front door buzzed as one of them stormed out. She rolled over and groaned at the light streaming through her windows. It was rainbow weather, bucketing it down with rain but irritatingly sunny at the same time so that she got the worst of both worlds. She sat up, scrubbing a hand over her eyes. “Ugh,” she muttered. Her head ached, her eyes felt like they were melting. She lived in such a crappy part of town but it was all she could afford.

Ambling into the kitchen in her oversized t-shirt and underwear, she poured herself a huge glass of water and popped two painkillers out of the packet on the sideboard. There was a note next to them, from Joly. “We took you home last night, you weren't too bad but you may or may not have thrown up on E. Hope you're feeling better this morning! xx” She bit her lip. Oh dear, Enjolras was going to be pissed. She'd have to call and offer to have the clothes dry cleaned or something.

Still, that wasn't the worst thing she'd done around the current object of her affections so it was ok, she guessed.

Headache eased slightly, she plodded into the living room and sat down in front of the easel set up on the floor, in the mood to at least attempt to finish up some of her art course work for uni. The phone rang and she spoke to Jehan for a while, squishing the phone between her shoulder and her ear and twirling oil paint onto the canvas at the same time. It was raining really hard now, and she shivered listening to the regular thud of droplets against the window pain, trying to pay attention to Jehan reciting poetry at her.

“... thou art more lovely and yet more temperate...”

It was nice working with Jehan- they normally worked together, the long, thin poet using her as a sounding board for his ideas while she enjoyed the background noise. But today he was hungover too, and had decided not to move from his warm bed where judging from the noises of complaint earlier, Courf had also been trying to sleep off a headache of impressive magnitude.

“... you are made of the sea and the stars, and...”

The doorbell rang suddenly, making Taire jump, and she dropped the phone. When she picked it up again, Jehan had stopped reciting. “What was that?”

“Sorry, I dropped the phone. Someone's at the door, it scared me. Probably bible-bashers or something, they're the only ones made enough to go out in this weather... Just give me a second and I'll call you back.”

Jehan sounded oddly amused. “It's ok, take your time.”

She hung up and chucked the phone on the sofa, shuffling along in her stripy socks. The bell rang again, more urgently this time and she called back, “Ok, ok, I'm coming... Enjolras! What on earth-”

On her doorstep, the blonde girl was standing in her typical red hoodie and jeans, soaked to the skin. Her long blonde hair clung to her cheekbones and along the long line of her neck. The sleeves were so sodden that under the vague shelter of Grantaire's porch they were beginning to drip. She hadn’t even bothered putting the hood up against the torrent and her hair dribbled over her face in golden rats tails, starting to curl at the ends. “Uh... Hi.” She said, sheepishly, smiling slightly as if she’d just noticed the rain.

Grantaire stared. “Come in, jesus. You'll catch your death. Give me a sec, I'll get you a towel.”

“Oh no, it's ok- I'm fine.”

“You're dripping on my floors, Athena my dear. I'll get you some replacement clothes, too. I’m sure I’ll have something…” Enjolras rolled her eyes at the nickname and smiled, and Grantaire's brain whited out for a second in shock. She'd seen her smile before, sure, but not directed at her and not as dazzling as that. She turned to dart into her room, yanking a t-shirt off one of the shelves and a pair of baggy jeans. “So... Uh, what are you doing here? If it's about last night, I'm really sorry- I'll pay you for dry cleaning next time I get paid though, I really can't afford it right now...”

“Oh, that's not what I came for... I'll change, if that's ok with you and then we can talk.”

“Ok, sure.” Grantaire walked back into the living room and handed her the clothes, experiencing a moment where she didn't know where to look or tell Enj that she could change.

Of course, Enjolras just steamrollered through the awkwardness by not noticing that it was there at all and yanking off her top without waiting for Taire to look away. Taire bit her lip, trying to make herself turn around or act normal in some capacity or something... But she just couldn't, her eyes brushing over pale, pale skin and jutting out hipbones, unable to look away. And then she'd changed and Grantaire blinked slowly, seemingly coming back to herself. Enjolras was looking at her oddly, a slight smile on her lips.

She felt her cheeks heating up, and blurted out “Do you want a cup of tea?” before running into the kitchen.

“Uh, sure. Thank you.”

“That's ok, no problem.” Grantaire gabbled. “So, what did you want to ask me?”

“Oh! Oh yeah, I forgot about that…” She followed R’s steps into the kitchen, hovering awkwardly in the doorway. “So, I need a favour.”

“Um, ok…?”

“Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad. It’s just that I asked everyone else and they all said no, and now it’s all going to go wrong unless you help me. I need you, R!”

“Ok, first off, probably not the best way to persuade someone to help you- telling them that they’re not even second or third choice, but last choice!” Grantaire smirked at her as she handed her her cup of Christmas-themed apple and cinnamon tea. “And secondly, when all of our friends- all of whom I know adore you and would do almost anything for you- have already said no, I fail to see how this is not going to be something bad.”

Enjolras narrowed her eyes in confusion. “What?”

“Never mind, just tell me what you want.”

“Ok. Well. First I want you to promise not to laugh.”

“Now I really am worried.”

“R!”

The nickname made her feel warm inside, although maybe that was just the tea. “Ok, ok. I won’t laugh at you.”

“Good. Um. So, you know that last Christmas when me and Cosette went home for Christmas, Marius didn’t because he was still talking to his grandfather?”

“Yeahh..?”

“Well, this year, after he got kicked out, he’s got nowhere to go for the holidays and so obviously Cosette has asked him to come back with us for Christmas.”

“Oh, good for her!” Grantaire smiled, happy for them. She had been worrying about Marius- she had almost invited him to spend Christmas with her but she wasn’t exactly keen on sharing with the rest of the group her slightly awkward Christmases with her foster dad deprived of alcohol and parties- and her love of Christmas cartoons. It was damaging to her cynical drunkard reputation.

“Anyway, my dad isn’t exactly going to be happy about that- he loves her a bunch but he’s so overprotective it’s scary. So when she told them,” And here Enjolras’ perfect face creases slightly with a frown, “- she decided to take me down with her and told him that I’m bringing someone too.”

“You’re bringing someone back with you for Christmas?” Grantaire tried very hard to look happy for her but it was quite difficult to look happy for someone when they’re ramming a knife into your chest. “Well done you!”

“No, obviously not,” Enjolras huffed. “That’s the problem. Cosette didn’t think far enough ahead to realise that a) I am not dating anyone and b) I will be utterly unable to find someone to date in time for Christmas.”

Oh, I don’t know about that, Grantaire thought. I’m sure there are people who would jump at the chance to date a fucking hot six foot blonde with killer legs and pouty lips and perfect hair and the brain of all the geniuses… genii in the world combined. Me, for example.

“So, I thought, find someone to fake a relationship with me for Christmas then tell them that we broke it off shortly after. It’s the perfect solution- Marius gets the heat taken off him a little, my mum gets the satisfaction of seeing me with a partner and my dad gets someone to glare at sternly.”

Grantaire raised her eyebrows sceptically.

“But then I realised- Combeferre’s out of the equation because my parents already know her, and Courfeyrac’s out too because her parents live down the same road as mine and they all gossip together so if we were dating they would know, and plus she’s bringing Jehan to hers for Christmas anyway. Bossuet, Joly and Musichetta are going to Hawaii for Christmas so they’re all out. Bahorel and Feuilly both laughed me out of the room when I asked and told me that while they’re flattered it’s fairly obvious that I’m too gay for either of them, and Eponine scares the crap out of me so I haven’t even tried asking her yet. Please say yes.”

It took her a moment to realise exactly what she was being asked and when she did her jaw dropped. “Are you serious?”

Enjolras’ shoulders, which had been lifted hopefully, drooped sadly. “So you won’t do it?”

Grantaire frowned for a second. “Are you sure you can tolerate my company for that long?”

“Of course!”

“Really?”

Enjolras blushed. “You appear to be under the impression that I like you a lot less than I actually do.”

“Enjolras, you get annoyed with me at meetings to the point where you threaten violence. You’ve been a pacifist ever since you could pronounce the word.”

She blushed harder. “You frustrate me. But you challenge me too. I’m sorry if I’ve given out the wrong signals. Anything said during debates stays in debates- it doesn’t carry out into the real world.” She laughed a little to herself. “Otherwise no one in the group would talk to each other any more.”

Grantaire smiled along and nodded, seeming to come to a conclusion. “Ok, I’ll do it.” She pauses. “On one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“You be my fake date when I visit my foster dad, too. I know he worries about me and it might... help.”

Enjolras’ entire face lit up, her whole body bouncing as she rocked on the balls of her feet. “Of course! Anything! You have no idea how greatful I am for this, seriously.”

R tilted her head towards her empty cup. “You want to get a refill and we can discuss the plan for all of this?”

“Fuck!” Enjolras gasped, glancing at the clock, and then registered R’s question. “Oh, uh no, sorry. I can’t- I have a meeting in ten minutes with Lemarque about the proposal for a fundraiser in town. But, um.” She grabbed a piece of paper from the side and scribbled down her number. “Text me and we’ll grab coffee later in the week and discuss everything. Ok?”

“Ok, sure!” Grantaire managed, before Enjolras pulled her into a bone-crushing hug and released her, half running towards the door.

“Thank you so much for agreeing to this. You’re an angel!”

“You don’t believe in angels!” Grantaire called after her as she hurtled along the balcony and down the concrete stairs. “And you’re still wearing my clothes!”

She heard Enjolras swear from a distance, and yell something about giving them back soon but most of it was lost as a crash of thunder echoed over the building. Next door, her neighbour peered at her disapprovingly from behind the curtains and she resisted the urge to flip her off, nosey old bat.

The moment she closed the door behind her, the weirdness of the situation hit her in the gut and she suddenly felt pretty queasy.

She picked up the phone and dialled Jehan.

***

The next day they met in a rainy café and discussed their battle plan.

“Right,” said Enjolras, leaning across the table so that she could whisper like a secret agent. “The plan is we spend Christmas eve-eve and the morning of Christmas eve with your dad and then drive down to my parents in the afternoon and stay with them till the 27^th. Then back here to recover before Courf’s terrifying-sounding new years party.”

“Sounds good.” Grantaire agreed, leaning forward too. “What’s our story?”

“Our story?”

“Yeah, you know. Where did we meet, how long have we been together, do we live together yet, do we do the whole cutesy couples names thing or not? How many kids are we planning?”

Enjolras rolled her eyes. “We met at a meeting when you were drunk and wouldn’t stop contradicting me, we’ve been together since two weeks after we met, we don’t live together and we definitely don’t do cutesy names. And no kids.”

“Aaah, you’re no fun! Where’s the romance in that? C’mon, we can do better.”

“Fine, if you’re so good at it…” The taller girl huffed.

R smirked. “So. We met in the library when we both tried to take out the same book at the same time and you let me have it. Then the next week when you went to pick up the book for yourself, you found a note with my number in it, couldn’t stop thinking about me and called me as soon as you could. We went on our first date to a Italian place midway between my flat and yours- the food was good, but not too expensive. I paid. We had our first kiss that night when you walked me back to my flat and I offered to make you coffee but you said no. Ever since then we’ve been inseparable despite the fact that we argue quite a bit. I help you out with your charity work a lot and in return you come to all of my gallery showings and act the part of a proud, loving girlfriend even if you hate most of the patrons there. I’m more in love with you than you are with me, which might lead to issues in our relationship later on, providing the groundwork for when you tell your family later on that it didn’t work out. We don’t live together right now, but we’re planning on moving in together soon- another thing that might end in disaster. Oh, and we sure as hell do cutesy names, Cupcake. And yes kids.” She paused for breath. “Boom.”

“Wow. You’ve thought that through a lot,” Enjolras said, impressed.

R sat back in her chair, smirking. “Yeah.” If only you knew.

“Ok, fine. We’ll do it your way- it definitely seems more convincing.” She paused. “Are we going to need to… you know, learn things about each other to make it seem realistic?”

“Probably. I mean, you don’t want someone to ask you a really obvious question about me and then not be able to answer it, do you?”

“Should we play 20 questions?” Enjolras asks, taking a sip of her now luke-warm latte and giving herself a milk moustache.

“Ok, sure. You first.”

“Right. Um. I don’t actually know your first name.”

Grantaire narrows her eyes. “Do not repeat this to any of the others, ok?” The blonde girl nodded obediently. “My full name is Renee Marie Grantaire.”

“Oh!” Enjolras paused for a second. “That’s pretty. I like it.”

“Sure but it hardly suits me, does it?” Before she can answer though, R is moving on to her first question. “What are you scared of?”

“Lifts. The future. Capitalism.”

R rolled her eyes.

“What’s your favourite colour?”

“Green. I don’t even need to ask yours- it’s red, isn’t it?”

Enjolras laughs. “You know me so well!” Then she frowned, because actually that wasn’t wrong. She does know her well, much better than she’d thought she would.

Before she can think any more, R has moved on to the next question. “What’s your most embarrassing story?”

“Oh, god.” Flushing to the roots of her hair, the blonde girl slid down in her seat and buried her face in her hands. “Promise not to laugh?”

“Sure!” R said, but when Enj moved her hands away for a second, her shoulders are already shaking with supressed giggles.

“When I was in year 10, just starting to do all of that questioning and stuff and working out my sexuality…” She broke off. “Oh god, this is too painful.”

“Keep going. I need to know this now.”

“Ok. I worked out that I liked girls, and being the tiny nerd that I was, I decided to research. Only thing was, I obviously was too scared to do something like that at home, so I settled for looking it up on the school computers.”

“Oh no, I can tell where this is going…”

Enjolras squirmed in her seat. “Lets just say that the first few results I got were fine but after that things got a little… scary and a crowd of people had gathered to look at what I was searching over my shoulder and oh god it was awful.”

R laughed. “So you accidentally watched porn on a school computer when you were discovering your sexuality, that’s no big deal!”

“Keep your voice down!”

“My most embarrassing moment is probably even worse. Again, it was in secondary but I think I was a little older than you. I got this huge huge crush on a female teacher- Miss Karnestein. And I wrote her a letter, confessing my love, as a joke of course but when it fell out of my bag and she found it she didn’t see it like that.”

Enjolras bit her lip. “Sorry, that’s funny but… kinda sad. Neither of us had great experiences dealing with… all that.”

R shrugged. “Anyway, it’s your turn to ask.”

“Ok, sure- what’s your favourite food? I’ll ask mum to make it for Christmas.”

They carried on talking for what seemed like hours, until the coffee shop was almost closing up and the girl working there kept pointedly hoovering around them. Eventually, Enjolras slurped down the last of her (now cold) drink and stood up. “Ok,” she said, smiling warmer than R had ever seen her and it bought her down to earth with a little bump because no matter how happy she felt about all of this it wasn’t real and she needed to remind herself that. “Well, I’ll see you soon then- I’ll pick you up at 9 on Thursday and we can drive down to your dad’s.”

“Cool.” R slouched deeper inside her fake-leather jacket, feeling the chill of the wind as they let the door of the coffee shop close behind them. It was drizzling miserably, not proper christmas snow but pathetic dribbling rain that barely left a mark but felt thorourghly unpleasant. “So, I’m going this way.”

“Oh, I’m going this way,” Enjolras said, gesturing the opposite direction and she actually sounded sincerely disappointed. R melted a little. “But, um. I just wanted to… I just wanted to do something.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, um. My parents are going to expect us to be affectionate and stuff and so is your dad probably and it probably isn’t a good idea if we just go for it when we’re there with no prior planning or anything.”

“Ohhhhhhkay…” R took a step back, and then a step forward. “You want to do a practice kiss?”

This part of it hadn’t occurred to her, how much it was going to hurt having just a tiny taste of what she wanted but not being able to have the whole thing. When Enjolras nodded yes, she took another tiny step forward and tilted her head up. She could do this, she could do this, she could-

Enj’s lips met hers and it felt like a little zap of electricity, straightening her up and making her rock forward onto her toes so that she could reach up as high as she could to press her lips against Enjolras’ again. Her whole body swayed towards her, seeking her warmth like a cat seeks radiators and sofa cushions. She parted her lips a little, experimentally, but was not prepared for Enjolras suddenly sighing against her and sliding one hand around the back of her head to guide the kiss and using the other to press into the small of her back, under her jacket, with her icy fingers. When R shivered at the cold touch, she chuckled against her lips and deepened the kiss again, slowing it so that it was more controlled, more leisurely. She smelled so good, R thought, her mind lazily drifting in a fog of bliss. Like cinnamon and peppermint and cold and new clothes. And she tasted good too, like the caramel coffee she’d just been drinking.

When she finally pulled away, R stared at her for a moment starry-eyed before she could compose herself. “Fuck,” she muttered, and then said louder “Ok, well, I don’t think we’ll have any trouble being convincing.”

“No,” Enjolras agreed, looking slightly panicked. “Um. Thank you?”

For once, R didn’t joke around or point out that it wasn’t exactly normal to thank someone after a kiss but she wasn’t exactly feeling normal about this either. She nodded slowly, like any sudden moves would frighten her. “Ok. I’m going to just… Go. I’ll see you on Thursday.”

“Yeah. Thursday. Right. Bye!”

Chapter Text

The drive down to Grantaire’s step dad’s place on the Thursday morning started out awkwardly uncomfortable.

Grantaire was still nursing the memory of the kiss, trying not to forget a single detail even though she knew it wasn’t a smart move. She came out from her flat struggling under the weight of two huge carrier bags filled with presents and Enjolras’ eyes bugged when she saw her.

“What on earth- You don’t have masses of extended family that I don’t know about, do you?”

“No, no, don’t worry, they’re for someone else. I just wondered if we could make a quick stop on the way to my dad’s? It’s not far out of the way- only a few streets down from my place.”

Enjolras frowned but nodded. “Sure, yeah. That’s absolutely fine.” She turned the radio on, setting it to the news channel and concentrating on the road, narrowing her eyes when she saw Grantaire’s hand sneak out and flip stations over to some crappy pop channel.

She left it for a beat, and then reached out and changed it back.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Grantaire grinning to herself, and watched as she reached out and flicked it over again.

Sighing loudly, she swapped it back.

Grantaire’s grin was getting wider and wider- she reached out and pressed the channel changer. Party in the USA screamed out of the speakers and she flipped the channels back as quickly as she could. R reached out her hand at the same time.

They touched.

At exactly the same time, both snatched their hands away and looked to the side, avoiding meeting the other’s eye.

“Fine, listen to your stupid pop!” Enjolras sighed.

At the same time, Grantaire yawned and said, “Ahh, go on then, listen to your boring news channel.”

“How about we take it in turns?”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

The rest of the drive was quiet- they alternate between R softly singing along to pop music on the radio and Enjolras listening intently to the news programme. It didn’t turn out as bad as R had expected, the two of them sitting in amiable silence.

When they got closer to R’s home town, about an hour had passed and she was starting to get twitchy. Eventually, she gestured towards a side street coming up. “It’s down here. There, third one along.”

Enjolras looked sceptically at the house, confused. “This is your dad’s place?”

The house was small, the garden a mess of cigarette butts, broken bottles and random bits of litter. There was a mattress lying on its side propped up against the fence, a huge hole ripped through the centre. One of the windows of the house was boarded up, and another had a tatty, sun-stained England flag hanging from it.

“No, it’s the stop-off point I mentioned earlier.”

She frowned but let Grantaire direct her into a parking space on the curb opposite the house and helped her as she struggled out with her armfuls of presents. “You don’t have a bunch of illegitimate children you didn’t tell me about, did you?”

“No, no…” R said, distracted as she balanced two boxes on top of her boobs and tried to knock on the door with the hand still desperately trying to keep hold of the bag.

Enjolras watched her, biting back a smile as she took one of the presents off her. “You’re funny.”

Before R could respond, the door opened and a scruffy kid with messed up blond hair and very tanned skin opened it. “R!” He shouted, grinning, and hurled himself at her.

“Hi, kid.” R ruffled his hair with a grin.

“Ep! Auntie R is here, and she bought presents!”

Ep? Was that Eponine? Enjolras was getting more and more bewildered by the second, even more so when two more children came barrelling out of the house to latch on to Grantaire, tiny twins with matching mops of dirty blond hair. The presents went flying of course, and Enjolras went to pick them up.

“Yeah, hi, hello to you too,” Grantaire was grinning at the little ones as they clung limpet-like to her jeans.

Eponine came to the door, finally, her hair up in a messy bun and a tired grin on her face, an apron wrapped round her waist and the smell of overcooked food following her. “R! You made it!”

“Well, I could hardly let down my favourite nephews now, could I?” She flapped her arms at them, persuading them inside and let Eponine give her a tight, one armed hug. “God, it’s freezing in here.”

“Hmm.” Eponine frowned. “My parents didn’t pay the electricity while I was gone so the house is shut off. We’re just lucky we’ve got a gas cooker.”

“You should go over to my dad’s for Christmas day, you know he’d love the company since I won’t be there, and…” She paused, turning to look at Enjolras who was hovering awkwardly in the doorway behind them. “Well, come in!”

“Oh. Ok!”

She had always found Eponine kind of scary but surrounded by her younger siblings like this, it made her seem softer somehow and she actually treated Enjolras to a smile. “R’s like second family to me, her and her dad. He’s a police officer, did she tell you that? Used to come across my parents a lot in his line of work, but he always made sure we were ok. And now R comes over bearing presents every Christmas, just cos she can and she knows my parents wouldn’t think to bother. I tell her not to worry about us, but the little ones always get so excited.”

R nudged her in the ribs, laughing. “I don’t mind, I keep telling you.” Her smile dimmed slightly. “Although, where are your parents?”

“God knows. I came back home on Monday to find ‘Zelma trying to put the twins to bed and cook spaghetti for Gav at the same time as finishing her Chem homework because they told her they were going ‘out’. And we haven’t seen them since.” She sighed, bit her lip. “It’s Christmas for fucks sake. I worry about the twins, I really do. And Gav too.”

R rubbed her arm sympathetically, and pulled on a bright smile just as they came into the living room. There were candles lit all over the room, though there was no carpet or central heating, and all of the kids had bought their duvets down. “Wow, Christmassy!” She exclaimed.

Enjolras watched her chattering away with the little ones, passing out presents and gossiping with Azelma, Eponine’s teenage sister. She was just so good at it, good at making them like her. That image of R didn’t exactly fit with the image of R that she had in her head- the sarcastic, grumpy, argumentative artist who’d do anything to wind her up. She knew, of course, that she didn’t act the way she did around Enjolras around any of their other friends. There was just something at the back of her mind that was bothering her and she couldn’t quite figure out what…

 It didn’t exactly surprise her when she heard a voice next to her ear but it made her jump enough for her to lose her train of thought. “Soooo. You and R.”

“What? Oh. Um. I mean, yes.”

Eponine laughed at her. “It’s ok, I know the secret. I know it’s not for real or anything- she told me what you were planning. Chill.”

Enjolras took a breath. “Ok. Good.”

“But seriously, you’d better be careful with her. Be nice and all.”

“Am I getting the ‘break her heart, we’ll break your legs’ talk from you?” Enjolras blurted, all the while cursing herself for saying that to someone as scary-tough as Eponine.

Eponine just grinned at her, showing off her surprisingly sharp teeth. “Not yet, buddy. Not yet.” And then in an instant her whole face changed from scary wolf lady to nice big sister and a smile melted over her face as she whirled off to deal with the little ones, who were opening the presents R had given them. R had finally managed to detach herself from them and struggle back up to the doorway where Enjolras was hovering.

“Sorry about the detour,” she said, biting her lip. “I know it’s not exactly what you signed up for, I just had to come by, I do it every year and I couldn’t let them down.”

Enjolras nodded. “Don’t worry, its fine. They all really look up to you, it’s cool.”

R snorted. “Yeah, cos I’m such a great role model.”

“Well, why not? You’re smart, you’re funny, you’re kind…”

R raised her eyebrows. “Sure. And that’s coming from the girl who, just two weeks ago, told me I was good for nothing.” She laughed, but it was hollow, and there was a light missing from her face when she turned back to the others and announced, “Right, time to say good-bye. We’re in a rush, this year.”

The kids all instantly clamoured to reach her, hugging her and begging her not to go while Azelma tried to look cool and not make a fuss even though Enjolras noticed the way that she was looking at R and wondered if R knew that she had an admirer in the form of a 14-year old sister of her best friend.

She shook her head to herself, biting her lip. There was something bothering her- she knew that her behaviour towards R hadn’t always been the best, but she’d apologised so that meant it was ok, right? A voice in her head was telling her that of course it wasn’t ok because she always just went and did it again no matter what, but she bit it down and followed R out to the car, still deep in thought. It just felt like she was missing something important.

R didn’t talk to her for the rest of the car ride.

***

They stood on the doorstep of Javert’s house, awkwardly carrying bags and present boxes and noticeably not talking to each other.

Grantaire was looking worried, her brow furrowed and her lip caught between her teeth- Enjolras followed the movement with her eyes. “You can back out if you want to,” she blurted suddenly and then cursed herself for saying anything at all.

“What?”

“I’m just… just saying. If you want to back out. I don’t mind.”

“Do you want me to back out?”

“No!” She said, a little too loudly. “Of course not.”

“Good.” Grantaire smiled at her. “I guess we’re doing this, then.” She reached out with the one free hand that wasn’t carrying her suitcase and present bag and stroked E’s arm, her hand a warming, calming pressure and Enjolras wondered not for the first time why it was that she suddenly felt so utterly peaceful in the other girl’s presence. “Don’t worry about it- we’ll be ok. Ok?”

“Ok.”

The door swung open suddenly, making Enjolras stumble back a bit. She missed the touch of R’s hand the moment it was gone. But R was stepping inside, a grin lighting up her face and a bounce in her step as she ditched the bags in the front entrance and hurled her arms around the neck of the very, very tall, very, very muscle-y guy in front of her. “Hi, Dad!”

The man smiled a little stiffly, patting her awkwardly on the back and then gently detangling himself. “Hello, R.”

“How’re you doing, how’ve you been?” R chattered, sweeping through the hallway into the living room and dumping the bag of presents under the tree. “Shall I make a cup of tea or something?”

Her dad laughed. “This is my house, I’m meant to be the one asking you that.”

“Yeah, but you’ve put up with enough shit from me.” Grantaire grinned, winking at Enjolras as she walked past. “I can at least make you a drink. Sit down, stop hovering!”

He rolled his eyes and sat down heavily on the chair nearest to the Christmas tree, watching Enjolras with his dark eyes, his thick eyebrows sat heavy over his eyes, making her feel like a bug about to get squashed. “So,” he said, after a while. “You’re Enjolras?”

“Um. Yes, sir?” She squawked.

“Hmmmm.” He narrowed his eyes. “I’d like to say that I’ve heard a lot about you, but that would be a lie. I haven’t heard nearly enough.”

She nodded, hoping that Grantaire would come back quickly, because her dad was terrifying.

“So? Tell me a bit about yourself?”

“Um. Well. Erm. I’m a friend of R’s from uni. I studied peace studies and historic law.”

Javert frowned. “Nonsense subjects,” he muttered, and then louder, “Carry on!”

Um. I’m a lawyer, not a very good one yet but…” She trailed off and R’s dad sniffed derisively.

“Never liked lawyers,” he muttered. “Liars and law-benders, the lot of ‘em.”

Enjolras blushed. “Well, I…” She stammered.

At that moment, Grantaire decided to come in and save her. “Enjolras is really smart though,” she said, sliding a hot cup of tea over to her dad and another one in front of Enjolras. “Come sit down, baby.” Then, to her dad, “Top of your class, weren’t you? A real legal eagle. She’s going into human rights law, going to save people’s lives one day, aren’t you?” Enjolras blushed harder, sending her telepathic waves of thanks as she perched shyly on the sofa beside her. “I’m really proud of her.”

“Impressive,” Javert said, grudgingly.

Enjolras practically beamed with relief.

***

In R’s bedroom later, she could practically feel her heart beating in her head as she looked awkwardly at the tiny single bed and wondered how on earth they were going to manage to fit in that. Maybe this was her dad’s way of punishing her for being a less-than-perfect match for his daughter.

Javert was scary as hell, she had decided about half way through dinner, when he had looked her pointedly in the eye and smiled dangerously as he carved a bit off the leg of meat they were eating. She’d been too scared to even tell him that she was vegetarian.

Still, it was clear that he loved his daughter and cared about her a lot- his making a fuss just went to show how much he really cared.

She looked around the room, feeling almost as if she was tressapassing on a piece of R’s life that was private. There were a few posters on the walls- Green Day, My Chemical Romance… Some comic strips blue-tacked to the wall beside her bed, cut out roughly from magazines and newspapers with scissors. On one wall, in a pink pastel frame was a grade 7 certificate in ballet. A blue duvet cover with a dolphin on it that smelled so overwhelmingly like R that she wanted to just stay sat on it forever breathing in the clean, fresh air and warmth smell. There was a tatty old toy dog on the window sill, one ear barely hanging on and it’s fur rubbed thin by years of hugging. She picked it up gently, smiling. With one hand, she reached out to read the name on the collar; Bonnie.

It was a cute image, tiny little R hauling this toy around, hugging it, refusing to let it go even for a second.

The door opened suddenly, making her jump and she almost dropped the toy. She could feel her cheeks colouring like she’d been caught doing something wrong even though she knew she hadn’t.

R came in, towelling her hair dry with a hair-dye stained purple towel and wearing a long grey t-shirt and black shorts. “Bathrooms free,” she said. “I’ve tried to save you enough hot water- Oh! You’ve found Bonnie!”

Enjolras laughed a little. “Yeah…”

“Don’t judge me, ok? I couldn’t bear to throw her away or anything. She’s special.”

“I’m not judging. I have a mint-green teddy bear on my bed called Marx. Had him since I was 3, slept with him in my bed till I was 13.”

R blushed. “I didn’t stop until I was like 15 and even then I kept her next to my bed.”

Enjolras stood up, pressing the toy into R’s hands and suddenly becoming aware of their proximity. Her hair was still dripping wet, and Enjolras couldn’t help but watch a droplet as it traced it’s was over her neck and her collarbone. The baggy shirt R was wearing was sticking to her body in places where she hadn’t dried off properly- Enjolras cleared her throat, hyper aware that R’s eyes were fixed on her lips almost absentmindedly. She took a step back hurriedly, fighting back a blush and stuttered out, “Ok, I’ll just go wash and stuff.”

R blinked and stepped back too, her knees hitting the edge of her bed and making her sit down. “Yes. Good, do that. I’ll… get the spare mattress out for you.”

“The spare mattress?”

R grinned at her, her lopsided smile coming back and it felt like normality in the middle of a Dali painting. Familiar, a relief, but out of place. “You didn’t think I’d make you share a single bed, did you?”

“Well,” She started, and then stopped.

“God, my dad would have kittens if we did,” she chuckled, rubbing the towel through her hair. “You’re only allowed in here with me on the promise that you sleep on the opposite side of the room, and also the bed-frame creaks, so he’d know if anything… happened.”

“Wow.” Enjolras opened the door, backing out slowly as she started to panic a little. R just looked so perfect there, domestic and relaxed, just sitting there and casually talking about all the pretend sex that they were fake having, and she couldn’t help wishing that it wasn’t fake and that for once she really was taking home a girl to introduce as the love of her life… “You really talked to your dad about that?”

“He left a strongly worded note on my pillow. We’re supposed to “behave with decorum and dignity.” Apparently.” She rolled her eyes. “I really don’t know what I expected.”

Enjolras joined in with her laugh as she left the room and ambled into the bathroom, tugging off her top and jeans, followed by her underwear and stretching out. The room was foggy with precipitation left over from R’s shower and when she tried to turn it on it sputtered out scalding hot and she jumped back with a squeak. “Ow, fuck!”

She tried again, randomly twisting the controls until she’d found a good mix and then huddling under the shower as she let the water run over her.

The distraction of nearly boiling to death had helped take her mind off the problem for a moment, but it hadn’t helped to solve her problem- that she was starting to think that she liked R. She wasn’t entirely sure what it was- whether it was spending so much time with her without arguing, getting to know her on a more personal level rather than just shouting, or whether it was the way she seemed to relax more when she was back home, no projects or deadlines to finish. Or maybe the way that she’d saved her from her dad earlier…

Whatever it was, she was screwed and she didn’t like it.

It had been a long, long time since she’d had a crush on anyone at all for that matter, the last one being a slightly hero-worship-y crush on Feuilly back when she’d first met all of les amis. And before that… she couldn’t actually remember. Since she’d met R, most of her thoughts had been occupied with studying and improving and working at her career but still she had to admit that now she thought about it, she did spend a considerable amount of time thinking about the girl.

She pushed her hair away from her face and let her shoulders sag a little, her face sliding into a pout. She needed to see Courfeyrac, honestly- she’d know what to do. Actually, that was an idea- she decided that she would drop her a text when she got out of the shower. She understood how people worked- she’d help her out.

**

Enjolras slid under the covers on the mattress, hyper-aware of Grantaire on the other side of the room- the sound of her breathing, every little movement she made. She tried to block it out, tugging the covers up over her head and pulling out her phone to desperately text Courf.

From: Enjolras

To: Courfeyrac

11:27pm

Help me I think I might be in love.

From: Courfeyrac

To: Enjolras

11:31pm

Well, I’m flattered but me and Jehan are very happy together and aren’t looking for a third person right now.

From: Enjolras

To: Courfeyrac

11:32pm

I’m not joking.

I need help!!!

I think I might be in love with R!

From: Courfeyrac

To: Enjolras

11:45pm

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!!!!!

I knew it!

Enjolras scowled, and turned off her phone. What the hell was that supposed to mean?

She shut her eyes tightly, and tried to go to sleep.

Chapter Text

They moved on the next day, after Javert had cornered Enjolras after breakfast and gruffly apologised for being harsh with her the night before. “You’re good for her,” he told her. “You make her smile.” Enjolras felt the guilt twist a little in the pit of her stomach, as Grantaire sashayed into the kitchen- she caught her waist and dropped a quick kiss to her cheek and Grantaire blushed, smiling at the floor.

In the car, Grantaire flipped on the radio to a crap pop station and Enjolras didn’t even complain. Stifling a yawn as she drove, Grantaire eyed her oddly. “You ok?”

“I’m fine.”

“Really? Cos you were weirdly quiet at breakfast. Dad wanted to know if you slept alright.”

“I slept fine.” She sighed, biting her lip. “Sorry. I’m just a bit nervous. What if we can’t pull it off? What if it fails horribly?”

“Enjolras, honey, my dad’s a detective for a living. If he believes us, your family are going to be a walk-over.”

Enjolras watched her, green Christmas jumper and skinny jeans and hair tied up in a messy ponytail, too short for a bun, as she drove. She was squinting a little in the bright winter sun, little wrinkles under her eyes and flecks of mascara clumped on her eyelashes and she was so far from perfect.

Enjolras knew it was selfish but if someone offered her world peace in exchange for this moment, she’d take this moment every time.

Grantaire caught her staring, smiled and turned up the radio. “… but I’m a 90’s chick!” She sang suddenly, shoulders wiggling in her seat. Enjolras laughed despite herself, humming along and picking the words up when it got to the chorus. “I don’t care! I love it!”

After about half an hour of driving and alternating between singing along to songs they knew and avoiding eye contact, Grantaire flicked the channel from the pop through a bunch of charts stations until… “Oh my god I love this song!”

Enjolras sat up a little straighter. “Oh, yeah! Courf loves this one.”

“... Cos now I’m standing on the overpass screaming at myself, I wanna get better!” Grantaire sang loudly, her face splitting into a grin and Enjolras laughed, feeling lighter than she had all day.

“I didn’t know I was lonely till I saw your face,” she sang, and looking at Grantaire she had to take a breath because suddenly the words of the song were far too accurate.

She didn’t want to go back to her flat on her own.

After a while, they pulled over at a services for a break and while Grantaire was in the line for the loos Enjolras browsed around the WH Smiths, riffling absently through the CDs and the magazines. As she looked through a stand of pretty leather-bound note books, an idea wandered into her mind and she picked one up- a green and gold bound journal with thick cream-coloured pages and a green ribbon running along the spine. She smiled to herself.

When Grantaire came out of the loo she was sitting at a table in the Costas opposite. “Spiced vanilla latte, right?” She asked and Grantaire grinned.

“You remember my order!” She crowed. “You are clearly warming to me.” She took a sip and closed her eyes in happiness, tired face lighting up. Enjolras smiled back at her. “Perfect. Thank you. How much do I owe you for it?”

“Oh, no, don’t worry! It’s my treat.”

“What? No, it’s fine, I’ll pay for it!”

“Consider it a thank you present for the massive favour you’re doing for me.” She leaned across the table a little almost subconsciously. “I really can’t thank you enough. And…” She paused. “I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

“What on earth for?”

“For all of the arguments, everything that happened before. I used to get so frustrated with you. I’m glad I got to know you better, and I’m sorry that I treated you unfairly.”

Grantaire touched her hand softly and then pulled it away quickly, like a butterfly touch. “It’s ok, you don’t have to apologise.” She smiled. “I know I’m antagonising, so you can’t try and take all the blame.”

Sighing, Enjolras took a large gulp of her very strong coffee and rubbed a hand through her hair. She couldn’t help thinking what would happen if R hadn’t let go of her hand. She wanted to hug her, or hold her hand under the table. She wanted to do the whole ‘meet the family’ thing with her for real, not just because of some stupid comment Cosette made and she couldn’t do this right now, she couldn’t do this at all.

She didn’t realise that she’d been saying that out loud until she realised Grantaire looking at her confused. “You can’t do it? Enjolras, if you don’t want to go through with this, just say and I’ll drop you off and drive home.”

“No, no, I don’t want you to leave!”

“Then what do you want? If I did something that made you uncomfortable, please tell me.”

“Don’t- You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s me, I’m not. I can’t…”

Grantaire leaned back on her seat, glancing out of the window at the grey skies outside. “It’s going to snow,” she said. “It’s a long way back to my place.”

“Don’t leave.” She took a breath. “Please. Believe me, I am so glad it’s you with me right now. I just… This whole fake relationship thing…”

Grantaire was chewing her nail as she looked at her, and she didn’t say anything.

“I just think that it was going so well. But I think that honestly we both know that this was a bad idea. It’s too involved. It was fine for a while but feelings are getting involved and it’s probably better for the two of us…”

Grantaire still didn’t answer, her drink sat half-finished and cooling in her hands as she chewed her thumb-nail to death.

“R?”

“I’m really sorry,” R said, so softly that Enjolras was unsure what she said.

“It’s not your fault. We can’t control how we feel, can we?”

Grantaire laughed a little, sarcastically. “I wish we could.”

Enjolras winced at that. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I’m sorry if you felt that I was taking advantage of the whole ‘fake-dating’ thing.”

“Wait, you were taking advantage?”

“I mean. I like you. A lot. And if it’s any consolation I didn’t realise how much I liked you until these last few days.”

“I thought-” She took a deep breath, a smile threatening at the corner of her lips. “I thought you meant me. I thought you’d realised I liked you, and you were angry with me.”

Enjolras stopped, frozen.

“Enjolras?”

“You…”

“Yep.”

“And I…”

“I hope so.”

Enjolras grinned widely, almost bouncing in her seat with happiness. “Yay!”

Grantaire’s hand slid across the table and linked their pinky fingers together. “Is that ok?”

“Definitely.”

Grantaire took a breath. “So. Where do we go from here?”

Enjolras checked her watch. “We go meet the parents,” she said. “And I guess we tell them the truth. And then we go back home and I take you out on a date. Probably. If you want to.”

“Why on earth would I not want to do that?” Grantaire grinned at her, gappy teeth and chapped lips and cherry-flavored gloss.

Mine, Enjolras thought, and it made her feel content.

They didn’t stop holding hands the full car journey there.