Work Text:
"Wei Ying."
The voice was quiet but reproachful. Wei Ying paused the doodle he was currently working on, the third he'd scribbled into his notebook since the lecture began, and looked over at Lan Zhan.
Prim and perfect, his white shirt done up all the way to the top button, the top layer of his long, impossibly shiny hair tied back in a neat tail, sensible glasses perched on his nose, Lan Zhan was the exact opposite of Wei Ying, who had rolled out of bed late - again - thrown on some ratty jeans, yesterday's T-shirt and the first hoodie he found. This lack of organisation was exactly why every piece of clothing he owned was just another shade of dark.
"Yeah?"
"You should be taking notes," Lan Zhan said, with a disapproving glance at the notebook. Wei Ying's biro was now drumming an irregular beat against the page. Lan Zhan resumed the quiet tapping of his fingers on his keyboard, his own notes carefully and neatly compiled into a single document that Wei Ying knew would be saved and properly labelled according to class, date and syllabus once the lecture was over. He knew this because -
"Lan Zhan, you'll let me have your notes, won't you?" he asked unrepentantly.
Lan Zhan turned to look at him again, tilting his head forward to frown at him over the top of his glasses. Wei Ying couldn't have stopped the grin spreading across his face if he'd wanted to. He had no idea what it said about him, but that look always did something to Wei Ying, made him want to do something disastrous, like lean across the gap between them and kiss Lan Zhan senseless.
It was getting harder and harder to resist the urge, but Wei Ying couldn’t seem to stop pressing his buttons.
Lan Zhan only shook his head, which didn't actually mean no, and went back to his notes. Wei Ying obligingly turned to the next page of his pad, squared his shoulders and settled down to start taking proper notes. A few lines of near-indecipherable chicken scratch later, Wei Ying gave up and let himself slump to the side until his head landed heavily on Lan Zhan's shoulder.
He heard a long, drawn-out sigh from above him, but he wasn't pushed away, so he took it as a win and stayed where he was. He thought he might have also caught a muttered "shameless", but Wei Ying had long since come to hear that particular word as a term of endearment, so he only laughed under his breath.
"Wei Ying, you should at least pretend to pay attention," Lan Zhan finally murmured a few minutes later, and he must have once again turned to look at him, because Wei Ying felt his warm breath disturb the hair that had come loose from his messy ponytail.
"Ah, Lan Zhan, class is almost over, there's no point," said Wei Ying, who, by that point, had closed his eyes and started to doze. "Besides, I had a late night last night. I'm tired. Just let me lean on you, hm?"
Wei Ying frowned faintly when he felt Lan Zhan tense briefly, but the moment passed before he could mention it.
"It's still not proper to slouch in class," Lan Zhan continued, though he still made no move to make Wei Ying sit up. He barely resisted the urge to snuggle in closer and get more comfortable, not wanting to push his luck. Lan Zhan's tolerance for physical contact was notoriously limited; Wei Ying was just happy he'd managed to persist enough to get away with this much.
It had taken longer than he'd ever expected to get Lan Zhan to open up to him, to stop pulling away like a startled cat whenever their hands brushed or their shoulders bumped. Wei Ying was a tactile person by nature, particularly with his friends, but he'd managed to find a compromise with Lan Zhan that worked for both of them. He might never be able to jump on Lan Zhan or surprise hug him like he did to his other friends, but what was allowed always felt special because he was the only one Lan Zhan tolerated this close.
In the two years since they'd met, he'd never seen Lan Zhan exchange more than pleasantries with anyone else. There wasn't a single other student Lan Zhan had ever let within arm's reach of him and Wei Ying was more glad of that than he had any right to be. Even so, it didn't stop him being pitifully jealous of the people he did see Lan Zhan show any sort of polite interest in, didn't stop him wondering who he sat with in his other classes and shared his notes with. He could only imagine how poorly Lan Zhan would react if he had any idea how Wei Ying really felt about him.
If his secret somehow got out, Wei Ying was genuinely terrified it would mean the end of his friendship with Lan Zhan. As often as he felt special by receiving Lan Zhan's attention, there were just as many times, if not more, he felt unsure where he stood or wondered what Lan Zhan was really thinking. He wasn't like Wei Ying's other friends, whom he knew almost everything about, sometimes even more than he wanted to know (Nie Huaisang's impressive, sometimes baffling and even daunting porn collection came immediately to mind). Lan Zhan, however, was an enigma, which was equal parts sexy and frustrating. He'd shown no interest one way or another in anyone that Wei Ying had ever noticed and that seriously put a damper on his hopes of one day finding himself in Lan Zhan's bed.
Wei Ying was still lamenting his poor chances when Lan Zhan's shoulder shook, gently knocking him out of his reverie. He blinked, angling his head to look up and meet his eyes.
"The lecture is over," Lan Zhan explained. He was already beginning to gather his things together, saving his work and closing his laptop. Reluctantly, Wei Ying sat up straight and stretched, muffling a yawn into his upper arm. Since he hadn't been able to bring his own laptop, having forgotten to charge it overnight, clearing away his own things consisted of messily shoving his notepad back into his messenger bag and putting his pen back in his pocket.
Somehow, as always, Lan Zhan still managed to be ready before him and was quietly waiting for him to be finished by the time Wei Ying faced him again. Together, they joined the throng of students steadily making their way toward the door. Wei Ying stifled another yawn.
"I can't believe I have another class this afternoon," he whined.
"I'm free, but I need to go back to my apartment."
"Why?"
"My brother is visiting this weekend, so I have to make sure things are tidy."
Wei Ying heroically suppressed his pout, disappointed to not be able to spend his lunch with Lan Zhan. Ordinarily, he could convince Lan Zhan to stay, and had even managed to get him to agree to sit and have lunch with some of his other friends once or twice, but he knew this was a non-negotiable situation. Lan Zhan always took it very seriously whenever his brother or his uncle came to see him. He'd all but disappeared for almost a week last time his uncle was in town, only coming onto campus when he had classes.
Pushing aside the disappointment, Wei Ying laughed. "Lan Zhan, your place is always spotless. What could you possibly need to tidy?"
Lan Zhan simply shrugged. "He arrives tomorrow, so the spare room needs to be tidied and the bedding freshly laundered. I need to move the hutch to the living room."
By this point, they had emerged into the corridor, filled with students moving through in each direction on their way to their classes. Down the hall, Wei Ying could see Nie Huaisang waving at him, standing beside Jiang Cheng. Despite the fact that they were openly holding hands, Jiang Cheng looked as moody as ever, glaring into the crowds of passing students as though daring them to comment. As usual, no one paid his sourness any mind.
Wei Ying waved back, then turned to face Lan Zhan. "Ah, Lan Zhan, those notes -"
"I've already e-mailed them to you."
Wei Ying grinned. "So, can I come to your place tonight and go over them? I promise I won't make a mess."
Lan Zhan nodded.
"And you'll cook?" Wei Ying asked hopefully.
"Mn," Lan Zhan agreed.
Wei Ying's stomach gurgled just thinking about Lan Zhan's cooking, reminding him he'd had to run out of his apartment without having any breakfast this morning or risk missing their class together. His grin increased in wattage.
"You're the best, Lan Zhan! I'll see you tonight!"
~*~
You're the best, Lan Zhan!
Lan Zhan watched Wei Ying duck and weave through the crowd to reach his brother and Nie Huaisang, laughing his apologies to the people he bumped into, and stifled a sigh. Not for the first time, he shoved down the disappointment brought on by Wei Ying's casual affection, because he knew he wasn't the best of anything. Not his best friend and certainly not his best option for the more Lan Zhan so foolishly wanted.
Down the hall, Wei Ying threw his arms around both Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang, chattering animatedly, hands fluttering in the air, as he steered them away without so much as a backward glance, Lan Zhan already forgotten. Painfully aware he was watching after Wei Ying like the lovelorn fool he was, Lan Zhan forced himself to turn away and walk in the opposite direction.
That he had been overlooked in Wei Ying's affections had never surprised him. He couldn't hold a candle to Wei Ying's vibrance, certainly not enough to capture his attention that way. Lan Zhan had been relegated to the friendzone almost from the moment they'd met, someone Wei Ying considered safe and trustworthy and reliable, but never interesting enough for more.
Lan Zhan was at a loss for how to change that. He had already learned he couldn’t be other than what he was. For all his life, he’d tried in one way or another, but couldn’t fight his own nature. He would never be the centre of attention or the life of the party like Wei Ying was and he would have felt paralysed even if it suddenly somehow did happen. Someone like him wasn’t a match for Wei Ying, who was the very epitome of a social butterfly, thriving on making connections everywhere he went.
He’d heard Wei Ying talk about just how well he’d connected with many others, particularly whenever he was with Nie Huaisang, who seemed to thrive on salacious details and gossip. Lan Zhan couldn’t have counted how many times he’d abruptly excused himself from a conversation he was barely part of, unable to listen anymore or else he might actually cause property damage. Jealousy was ugly and unwelcome, especially when he didn’t have a claim to begin with.
Before he knew it, he was by his car, carefully setting his bag on the passenger seat as he climbed inside. If not for the fact that being packed into public transportation was always daunting, he would have spared himself the expense of buying a car. Though his uncle had given him permission to spend a reasonable amount, Lan Zhan had insisted on buying the most affordable, functional car he could find without care for the model or its appearance.
The drive to his apartment was uneventful, quiet except for his own thoughts chasing themselves in circles. He’d imagined, as he had so many other times, what it would be like to confess his feelings to Wei Ying, to be brave long enough to get the words out. Rejection was certain, but it wouldn’t be unkind. Wei Ying would never stop being his friend over something like that, he knew that without a shadow of a doubt, but he was still too much a coward to throw caution to the wind.
Once he was inside, he threw himself into tidying to distract himself. Courtesy of allowing his brother to take an active role in finding him a place to stay, the space was huge, but Lan Zhan’s furnishings were few and small, practical, taking up very little space. He only needed to relocate his lone armchair to the other side of his coffee table to make space for the rabbit hutch to sit neatly and out of the way against the wall.
Sizhui never enjoyed being relocated; he hopped back and forth to each end, restless, as Lan Zhan carefully manoeuvred the hutch into his living room. It wasn’t the weight that made it awkward, but the sheer size of it. Sizhui’s comfort and happiness was the one thing on which he spared no expense.
He was forgiven for causing such disruption when he let Sizhui out of the hutch to hop around the living room and sat on the floor with him, shredding leaves of romaine lettuce as an apology snack. On impulse, he took out his phone, snapping some pictures. While he was no photographer, he did his best to get the best angles, showing off Sizhui’s soft white fur, the black tips of his ears and the single black sock on his right front foot.
Lan Zhan selected the best three and uploaded them to Instagram. It was an account purely for Sizhui, no pictures of himself, following and followed by other people who cared as much about their rabbits. The only person in Lan Zhan’s real life who followed or even knew about the account was Wei Ying, since he’d been the one to encourage it and even help set it up. Even simply having Sizhui in his life had been because Wei Ying had given him the push he needed.
Despite his best efforts to hide it, Wei Ying had realised he was lonely in this big apartment. He’d always lived with his brother and uncle before this; while he was no stranger to quiet moments of solitude, he was unaccustomed to being unable to reach out to them whenever he felt the need. Since a roommate was out of the question, as Lan Zhan would only consider sharing his personal space with Wei Ying and Wei Ying was currently living with his brother, so asking would have been a moot point even if he had been brave enough, the conversation had turned to pets.
Wei Ying’s first suggestion (and what he almost came home with) was a bird. It made sense, of course; birds were intelligent, engaging and social, exactly what he was looking for. But while trying to pick out the perfect breed, he’d been distracted by the rabbits and, well… that had been the end of that. Wei Ying had taken one look at his expression, laughed, and decided on the spot that Lan Zhan would take home a rabbit instead. Together, they’d chosen Sizhui.
Lan Zhan had chosen the name himself and Wei Ying had (fortunately) never asked the reasoning behind his choice.
Leaving Sizhui to his late lunch, Lan Zhan returned to his spare room to pick up the stray bits of hay and bedding that had fallen through the mesh of the hutch. He ran a vacuum around and a dust cloth, checked the sheets were fresh, and deemed it acceptable for his brother’s visit. That done, he next headed into his kitchen to begin his meal prep for Wei Ying’s arrival in a few hours.
He was dicing vegetables, thinking it fortunate that Wei Ying wasn’t fussy with his food so long as his portion was dangerously spicy, when his phone buzzed in his pocket. Lan Zhan pulled it out, opening up Instagram to see several new likes on the latest pictures of Sizhui and a single comment from Wei Ying.
look at our beautiful boy!!! cant wait 2 see him later! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Unable to help it, Lan Zhan’s lips curled into a small smile. He couldn’t wait, either.
~*~
"I don't see why I have to drive you to your boyfriend's place," Jiang Cheng groused. "Can't you take the bus? You're cutting into my date night with a-Sang."
From the passenger seat beside him, Nie Huaisang reached over and patted Jiang Cheng's thigh fondly. "It's all right, a-Cheng. I don't mind."
"Lan Zhan is not my boyfriend!" Wei Ying sullenly insisted, glaring at the back of his brother's head for forcing him to say it out loud. As if he needed the reminder.
“Yeah, right,” Jiang Cheng scoffed. “The two of you are practically fucking joined at the hip.”
I wish, Wei Ying thought. If that were the case, he and Lan Zhan both would have already flunked out of school because he wouldn’t have let them leave the bedroom.
“And that still doesn’t explain why I have to drive you.”
“Because I’m tired, Jiang Cheng,” Wei Ying said in his whiniest, most annoying voice. He could almost hear Jiang Cheng’s teeth grinding and grinned.
“If you’re tired, why not go home and sleep?” Nie Huaisang asked, turning in his seat so he could look back at Wei Ying.
“It’s your fault I was up all night, Huaisang,” he protested. “And why aren’t you tired?”
As Nie Huaisang smiled innocently, which Wei Ying didn’t buy for a second, Jiang Cheng glared at him in the rearview mirror.
“Hold up,” he said. “Wait a damn minute. Why the hell are you staying up all night with my boyfriend? What were you doing?”
Rolling his eyes, Wei Ying leaned forward until he could jab his finger into Jiang Cheng’s cheek. “Stop being such a jealous idiot.”
“Wei Ying!” Jiang Cheng immediately shouted, flinching and swatting at his hand like a bug. “Do you have a death wish? Don’t poke the driver! And put your fucking seatbelt on or I’ll kick you out the car right here!”
Pouting, Wei Ying slumped back into his seat, but he did what he was told (for once, Jiang Cheng might have said) and buckled himself in.
“Don’t worry, a-Cheng,” Nie Huaisang said, in that syrupy sweet voice he used like a Get Out of Jail Free card. “Wei-xiong was just helping me with a boss I couldn’t beat. Nothing scandalous.”
Wei Ying was about to protest the tone in which Nie Huaisang finished that sentence, which made it sound extremely scandalous, but Jiang Cheng humphed, which was his equivalent of apologising profusely for his misunderstanding. He looked at Wei Ying in the rearview mirror again.
“Pretty tame, considering what you’re usually getting up to, stumbling back into the apartment in the early hours of the morning after doing gods knew what with whoever you were grinding on at the club. You’d better not take a-Sang out to places like that.”
Wei Ying could have pointed out that he’d met Nie Huaisang in exactly that kind of place before they even realised they went to the same school, or that Nie Huaisang danced with as many people and drank as much, if not more, than Wei Ying ever did, but he wasn’t that petty. If Jiang Cheng wanted to see Nie Huaisang through rose-coloured glasses, it wasn’t his business to pull them off.
Besides, Nie Huaisang knew almost everything about him and wasn’t afraid to use any of it for revenge, as his eyes clearly said when they met Wei Ying’s in the mirror as well.
Pretty much the only thing Nie Huaisang (and everyone else) didn’t know was that… he’d stopped all of that. Not the clubbing, but the fleeing the scene after a one night stand. It had been almost a year since he’d gone back to someone else’s place, after he finally gave in and accepted he was hopelessly, ridiculously besotted with someone who wasn’t even interested in him that way.
“I don’t know how Lan Zhan puts up with your bullshit, honestly,” Jiang Cheng continued. “I’d have dumped your ass ages ago.”
“I told you, he’s not my boyfriend!” Wei Ying growled, barely resisting the urge to kick the back of his asshole brother’s seat.
Irritably, Wei Ying folded his arms across his chest, glaring out the window. He wished he had just sucked it up and taken the bus, tired or not. At least no one on the bus would rub it in his face how badly he sucked at getting the attention of the most perfect man in existence and how he was doomed to suffer an unrequited love for the rest of his life.
He really didn’t need the reminder.
~*~
When Lan Zhan heard the knock at the door, he was sitting on his couch, reading a book. The food he’d prepared was waiting in the kitchen and he’d set his laptop on his dining table, fully charged and ready for Wei Ying to make use of his notes.
Sizhui had been napping with his head on one of Lan Zhan’s feet, so it was with a murmured apology that he extricated himself and went to the door. He thought, as he had often before, of giving Wei Ying a key. He was the only one who ever visited and was always welcome, so it seemed a logical thing to do. The cowardly part at the back of his mind, however, held him back and insisted it would give away his feelings immediately.
That hadn’t stopped him cutting the key, though. Even now, it sat in the little dish he kept by the door, taunting him.
He opened the door to Wei Ying’s beaming smile and stepped back to let him in. Immediately, the silent apartment was filled with his voice.
“Lan Zhan! It’s only been a few hours, but I missed you so much! Oh, what did you make? It smells delicious! Is that our baby Sizhui I see?”
Aside from the tips of his ears feeling warm, Lan Zhan managed to control his reactions. He’d heard this sort of thing too many times to count - whether it was a weekend, a day, or sometimes even ten minutes, Wei Ying proclaimed to have missed him terribly whenever they were apart. It was so ridiculous he couldn’t possibly have even entertained the hope that any of it was real. It was just part of the over the top affection Wei Ying showed all his friends.
After removing his shoes, Wei Ying rushed into the living room to scoop up Sizhui and Lan Zhan followed to see him rubbing their noses together in greeting. Just in time, he managed to get his phone out and snap a quick picture.
“Ah, Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying immediately protested, cradling Sizhui against his chest in such a way that he peeked out from between two fuzzy ears. “You can’t take a picture of me when I’m not ready!”
It was adorable enough that Lan Zhan couldn’t resist taking another picture.
“Lan Zhan! My hair’s a mess, you cannot post those pictures.”
“Mn,” Lan Zhan agreed. He had no problem with simply keeping them for his own personal enjoyment. When Wei Ying continued to eye his phone suspiciously, Lan Zhan set it down on his coffee table.
Seemingly satisfied with that, Wei Ying went back to lavishing affection on Sizhui, scratching behind his ears and murmuring nonsensical baby talk at him while Lan Zhan watched indulgently. He honestly thought he could sit and watch this for hours without getting bored.
“Hey, Lan Zhan? Can I give Sizhui a treat?”
Lan Zhan shook his head. “He had many treats this afternoon to make up for moving his hutch.”
“Aw, poor Sizhui!” Wei Ying exclaimed, petting the rabbit comfortingly on the head. “Is our Lan Zhan mean to you? He won’t let you have extra snacks? How terrible.”
“Next time, I’ll save the treats for you to give him.” Lan Zhan glanced toward the kitchen. “Wei Ying, our food is getting cold.”
As if on cue, Wei Ying’s stomach rumbled at the mention of food. He laughed, setting Sizhui down on the ground once more. “Then let’s dig in! What did you make, Lan Zhan?”
“Nothing fancy,” Lan Zhan said as he led the way into the kitchen. “Just some fried rice and mapo tofu.”
Lan Zhan had already set the table prior to his arrival, so he gestured for Wei Ying to have a seat and turned to the covered pots. He’d left the tofu on a gentle simmer, which he turned off. He’d actually made two separate batches, one for each of them, as he wasn’t in possession of the kind of spice tolerance Wei Ying had. The portion he’d prepared for Wei Ying was much redder in colour and had several whole peppers in it, whereas his own had none.
Once their meals were plated, Lan Zhan joined Wei Ying at the table. For the moment, his laptop was ignored; they’d get around to that once they’d eaten and they had plenty of time yet.
Wei Ying was already busily swallowing his first bite. “Lan Zhan, this is amazing! You’re so good at cooking; have you thought about enrolling in a culinary school? You remember my jiejie finished a couple years ago, right? I can ask her about getting into her old school.”
Lan Zhan had, actually, thought about it, but had dismissed it almost as quickly. He thought of cooking as more of a hobby, something calming to end his day with, rather than a potential career. Aside from that, switching schools would mean distancing himself from Wei Ying, and that was something he wasn’t currently prepared to do.
So he shook his head. “I’m not looking to change schools.”
“But it’s such a waste of your talents,” Wei Ying insisted, slightly muffled around a huge mouthful of rice. “You could be a five-star chef in no time, Lan Zhan.”
Lan Zhan’s ears felt hot again and he dropped his gaze briefly. “I only cook to relax. And… for you,” he added on a sudden rush of daring.
He regretted it instantly when Wei Ying abruptly choked, staring at him wide-eyed as he coughed. Concerned, embarrassed and wanting to cover up this massive slip of the tongue, Lan Zhan quickly stood up and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. He was passing it to a wheezing Wei Ying when there was suddenly a knock at the door.
Both of them froze for a moment in surprise. Lan Zhan never had unexpected guests. He had no family living in town and no one on campus, aside from Wei Ying, knew where he lived. His neighbours were polite, but he didn’t know any of them well enough to warrant a surprise visit.
As Wei Ying gulped down water to clear his throat, Lan Zhan straightened up. “I’ll see who that is.”
Still confused, but grateful nonetheless for the distraction, Lan Zhan walked to his front door. He peered through the peephole and was very surprised to find his brother waiting patiently outside. He quickly opened the door.
“Huan-ge, I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow.”
His brother merely smiled pleasantly, stepping into the apartment as Lan Zhan made way for him. “Sorry, a-Zhan, for showing up unexpectedly. I was meant to spend this evening with Mingjue, but he had to work unexpectedly. I did try to call you when I was on my way, but you didn’t answer.”
Lan Zhan suddenly remembered his phone was on the coffee table. He habitually had it set to vibrate, so he hadn’t heard it ring.
“I thought you weren’t arriving in town until tomorrow.”
Lan Huan’s smile became a touch mischievous, his eyes twinkling in a way that suggested he had a secret. Lan Zhan wasn’t sure he wanted to know what it was.
“Mingjue and I knew we would be arriving late, so we had made plans to entertain ourselves for the evening, but unfortunately had to cancel last minute. I thought I’d see how you were doing, but I think I might have arrived at a bad time?”
“No, it’s fine -” Lan Zhan started to say, but was interrupted by Wei Ying entering the living room, water bottle still in hand. He saw the way his brother’s eyebrows immediately lifted and could have cursed.
“A-Zhan, I didn’t realise you had company. Should I leave you two... alone?”
If he wasn’t such a restrained person, Lan Zhan might have felt the urge to kick his brother for the suspicious inflexion he put on that word. As it was, he settled on a sharp look, which his brother obviously noticed and deliberately ignored.
Across the room, Wei Ying was already protesting, waving his hands and making the water in his bottle slosh around noisily. “No, no, don’t go! If anything, I should go. You two want to catch up, right? I’ll just be in the way…”
“Oh, nonsense,” Lan Huan said cheerfully. “I’m the one who showed up without warning. You must be Wei Ying?”
Wei Ying blinked owlishly. “Uh… yes?”
“I thought so. A-Zhan has talked about you quite often. It’s nice to finally meet you.”
“Oh,” Wei Ying said, looking back and forth between them, his eyes still a little wider than normal. “He has? I… I didn’t realise. But - Lan Zhan’s mentioned you, of course. He didn’t say you looked so much alike, though.”
Lan Huan smiled at that, appearing delighted. Feeling like things were rapidly getting out of control and his brother was dangerously close to both figuring out and revealing his secret, Lan Zhan did the only thing he could think of: aim for distraction.
“Huan-ge, you must be hungry,” he said, raising his voice just enough to carry over both of them. “We had just sat down to eat. You should join us.”
“If it’s not an imposition...”
“Of course not,” said Wei Ying, pulling his usual sunshine-bright smile onto his face. “You should definitely join us. I absolutely want to hear stories about when Lan Zhan was tiny. He never tells me anything.”
Lan Huan laughed softly. “Those, I certainly have.”
Ordinarily, Lan Zhan would have been horrified at the prospect, but if it was a choice between enduring his brother re-telling stories of his youth and risking Wei Ying learning about his feelings, he would gladly choose the former. So he kept quiet as he gently steered the pair of them into the kitchen, prepared to suffer through the embarrassment. He could only hope Wei Ying wouldn’t ask for pictures.
~*~
An hour later, their meal was finished and they had moved into the living room to share some tea. Sizhui, tired out by an eventful day, had already retreated to his hutch to sleep. Lan Zhan understood the feeling.
Wei Ying had indeed asked for pictures - almost immediately, in fact - and Lan Huan had happily supplied them, as well as the stories that went with each one. Lan Zhan had accepted his ears feeling hot and itchy with embarrassment as his new reality by this point, and it only got worse every time Wei Ying cooed at how “cute” he’d been.
Lan Zhan reminded himself it would be over soon. Wei Ying knew he didn’t stay up late, especially on a school night, so would naturally excuse himself soon, and then there would be no chance for his brother to reveal something he shouldn’t. They hadn’t gotten around to studying together in the end, but he’d quickly sent Wei Ying all of his notes to look at over the weekend to make up for it.
Fortunately, conversation had since turned to less embarrassing things, like their studies and the classes they shared, their hobbies and interests. Lan Huan was particularly intrigued by Wei Ying’s pursuit of the flute, which wasn’t surprising, as they came from a musical family. Lan Zhan was quite happy to sit and listen to them talk about their shared interest in reed instruments, as it was a safe topic in his mind.
Lan Zhan was just setting down his empty cup when attention suddenly came back on him.
“A-Zhan, I’ve been meaning to ask… why didn’t you tell uncle or I that your vision was deteriorating?”
Lan Zhan instantly froze, his eyes widening. His hand flew up reflexively, suddenly remembering the glasses perched on his nose. He was so used to them being there, he’d completely forgotten about them. Distantly, he could hear Wei Ying voicing his concern.
“Lan Zhan, are your eyes getting worse? Have you had your eyes tested recently to see if your prescription is still right? You can’t take this lightly, Lan Zhan! You have to take care of yourself properly.”
“His prescription?” Lan Huan queried. “He’s never needed a prescription before.”
“What? But he’s had glasses for years, hasn’t he?”
“No, he hasn’t. A-Zhan, when did you get glasses?”
“I -” Lan Zhan tried, but nothing else came out.
He suddenly felt like he was drowning, caught out in the most ridiculous and pathetic of lies, because the truth of the matter was he didn’t need glasses at all. The ones he wore even had fake lenses, as his vision was perfect and always had been. He’d worn them for two years, accidentally invested so much in this stupid ruse, that he hadn’t known how to take it back.
It had started when he transitioned from high school to college. He’d never had any friends, as his classmates had dismissed him early on as cold and untouchable. He hadn’t known how to reach out to them or even what he’d say if he did. They’d said he was “too perfect”, but it hadn’t been a compliment. It had been a dividing line between them all.
Once he decided he would enroll in a college miles away from home, he had wanted to change things. To try not to seem so perfect, so aloof, that no one felt comfortable approaching him. He’d been wary of doing something permanent, like cutting his hair, so after much internal debate, he’d settled on glasses. He’d hoped they would somehow make him seem friendlier to his classmates, which, looking back on it now, had been ridiculous.
He’d attended his first lecture, hoping for a miracle… and nothing had happened. No one had talked to him. No one had even paid him any attention. He’d felt like a fool. Why would glasses make him any different from anyone else in the school? A third of the students in this lecture hall alone were wearing glasses just like his, but they were actually real.
He’d stuck with it a few more days, pitifully hopeful, but he was still alone. There were spaces on either side of him whenever he sat in his lectures and no one spontaneously joined him at lunch. Other groups of friends were quickly forming around him, laughing and joking, but he remained on his own, isolated island, as always.
By the end of the first week, he’d quietly abandoned the glasses and prepared to forget about the entire thing, privately swallowing the embarrassment. But then, at his second lecture, a miracle had happened after all. Someone sat next to him. He’d been so surprised, he’d even looked around to see if there were other spaces free, convinced the one beside him was the only one left and it had been filled out of sheer necessity.
Then Wei Ying had begun to talk.
“Hey, where are your glasses today?” he’d asked. “Did you forget them? You’re not sitting too far from the front, are you? Oh, wait, are you wearing contacts? I’m Wei Ying, by the way.”
For a moment, Lan Zhan had only been able to stare. He just wasn’t used to being bombarded with such rapid-fire questions, so he was left entirely unsure how to respond. Was he supposed to answer each question in turn? Or just the last one? How was he even meant to explain the glasses?
“Lan Zhan,” he’d finally said, hoping to ignore the topic of his glasses entirely.
“Lan Zhan! Nice to meet you.”
Lan Zhan had spent the rest of the lecture practically floating. Wei Ying had talked constantly, distracting him, and had blatantly copied his notes, but Lan Zhan hadn’t cared in the slightest. For the first time, someone had wanted to talk to him, to share with him and ask him about himself in turn. He had a promise they would sit together again in their next class.
The next day, he’d brought the glasses back, and Wei Ying had been pleased. They’d sat together, as they’d agreed, and had continued to do so every class after that. Wei Ying had become his best, and only, friend. It was no wonder he’d fallen in love with someone as open and giving as Wei Ying, even if it felt like grasping at something far beyond his reach.
There were many times he’d wanted to tell Wei Ying about his glasses, but he’d balked every time. The embarrassment had nearly choked him, making it impossible. He’d chosen the easier route of just continuing to wear them every day, so he could only blame himself for his current predicament, staring at Lan Huan and Wei Ying, who both watched him with confusion.
“Lan Zhan?” Wei Ying said, after a long stretch of silence. “Do you… not need to wear glasses?”
“...No,” he admitted. When asked so directly, there was nothing Lan Zhan could do but tell the truth, but he wasn’t brave enough to meet Wei Ying’s eyes.
“Then why?”
Lan Zhan opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. It felt like a hand was around his throat, refusing to let him speak, but he had to say something.
“I’m sorry,” he eventually said, at a loss for how to explain himself. “I - excuse me.”
Without waiting for a response, Lan Zhan fled the kitchen, escaping into the quiet dark of his bedroom and closing the door behind him. He braced his back against it and pulled off his glasses, useless now that his lie was exposed. He tossed them on his bed and covered his face with his hands.
How was he ever going to look Wei Ying in the face again? How was he ever going to explain what he’d done without seeming pathetic and desperate? Would things be awkward between them now? Would Wei Ying even want to be around him now after being lied to or would their friendship slowly erode away?
That thought paralysed him more than any other. He’d managed to accept, somehow, that he would never have anything more than friendship with Wei Ying, but he couldn’t stand the idea of not having him in his life at all.
Lan Zhan heard his front door open and close, and sighed to himself. That was no doubt Wei Ying leaving, and who could blame him for it? It was a sudden and unexpected revelation neither of them had been prepared for. Lan Zhan would have to call him tomorrow, try to somehow make sense of what he’d done and salvage Wei Ying’s opinion of him. At least the time between now and then might allow him to get his thoughts in order.
He suspected his brother would still be there, patiently waiting for him to come out. Lan Zhan wanted nothing more than to go to bed, to forget this entire evening in a few hours of oblivion, but propriety wouldn’t let him be such a bad host. He also knew his Lan Huan wouldn’t give him that long before checking on him. With a heavy sigh, he made himself open the door and walked back to his living room.
There, he stopped dead in his tracks, eyes wide, when he found a sheepish-looking Wei Ying waiting for him.
“Ah - your brother left. He said he’d call you tomorrow. I hope it’s ok that I stayed?”
“Of course,” Lan Zhan said automatically. “You’re always welcome here.”
Wei Ying smiled then and Lan Zhan felt a bit of tension loosening around his shoulders. If Wei Ying could smile at him even before hearing whatever abysmal reasoning he managed to cobble together to explain this mess, all was not lost.
“Lan Zhan… are the glasses a sensitive subject? I’m sorry if I upset you by pushing it.”
“No,” he said quickly. “No, that’s not it. I was - embarrassed.”
“Embarrassed?” Wei Ying asked, tilting his head slightly. “Why?”
Lan Zhan sighed, resigning himself to having this conversation here and now. He sat himself down in his armchair, trying to find the words to explain himself concisely and without making the situation seem even more pitiful than it already was.
“Ever since I was young, I’ve been - reserved,” he began. “I find it difficult to connect with people. My classmates considered me… unapproachable, so I spent my childhood alone. When I came here for college, away from everyone who knew me, I thought I would try something different. With the glasses, I could take them off when I wanted to or if it didn’t work. It wasn’t a permanent change that I might regret. It seemed a safe option. Of course, no one noticed or cared. I was hardly the only student wearing glasses around campus. It seemed pointless, so I stopped wearing them - but then you started talking to me. You had not only noticed my glasses, but noticed I wasn’t wearing them. No one else had ever approached me like that. So I… I brought back the glasses, and after that, I could never think of a way to explain them away.”
“Ah, Lan Zhan, you don’t have to be embarrassed by that. It’s hardly the end of the world.” Wei Ying paused there, shifting a little where he sat. “But, Lan Zhan - if we’re being honest, there’s something I should probably tell you…”
Confused and a touch concerned, Lan Zhan asked, “There is?”
“Yeah, um… If I tell you this, Lan Zhan, you have to promise not to get upset with me, ok?”
Unable to think of a single reason why he might be upset with Wei Ying, Lan Zhan nodded.
“Ok. So here’s the thing. I didn’t talk to you because of your glasses. That was just an excuse.”
“An excuse?”
“Yeah.” Wei Ying took a deep breath. “I just thought you were the hottest guy I’d ever seen and I really wanted to get to know you.”
Whatever Lan Zhan might have expected, that wasn’t it. Dimly, he was aware he had frozen in place, staring almost slack-jawed at Wei Ying, but there was nothing in his mind in that moment but white noise and a single, resonating question that repeated over and over, louder and louder: he likes me?
“And I did get to know you, Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying continued, shuffling closer to him along the couch. “And I liked you so much, even more than I thought I would. I really liked you. I wouldn’t even have said anything about this normally, but you deserve to know, and I’ve been dying to say it for the past two years, but even if you don’t… y’know… I still want to be your friend.”
Wei Ying paused there, biting his lip as his eyes searched Lan Zhan’s face. “Ah, c’mon, Lan Zhan, please say something. You said you wouldn’t be upset with me, but -”
“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan interrupted.
“Yeah?” Wei Ying replied, half-wincing.
“You like me, too?” It was so unbelievable, so like something out of a daydream, he had to make certain before he made an even bigger fool of himself.
“Of course!” Wei Ying said in a rush. “How could I not, Lan Zhan? But like I said, even if you don’t feel the same, I still want to be - wait, did you say “too”? Lan Zhan - Lan Zhan, do you like me?”
“Mn. I do.”
“Really? You’re not just saying that?”
“Wei Ying. I like you.” To say it out loud at last, to know that he could, made Lan Zhan feel lighter than air. He felt happier than he could ever remember feeling, almost giddy with it.
Suddenly, Wei Ying moved. Before Lan Zhan could catch him properly, Wei Ying was in his lap, surging forward to kiss him urgently. Lan Zhan didn’t have time to think, only react, so he did what came naturally despite a lack of experience and pulled Wei Ying closer, meeting him just as eagerly.
It was clumsy at first, and there was an audible clack as their teeth met, but Lan Zhan was nothing if not a quick study, finding his rhythm even as he lost himself in the taste of Wei Ying and the feel of him in his arms, pressed so close there wasn’t even space for breath between them. His hands slid up Wei Ying’s back, tangling in his long hair of their own volition; distantly, he felt Wei Ying’s fingers digging into his shoulders and travelling up his neck to cup his face.
Some unknowable time later, the need for air forced them apart. Wei Ying was comfortably straddling his thighs, resting their foreheads together as they gasped for breath. Lan Zhan’s lips felt tingly and numb at the same time, and he was sure they were as red and swollen as Wei Ying’s looked.
For several long moments, they stayed exactly as they were while their breathing slowed. Lan Zhan’s hands settled into a steady rhythm stroking up and down Wei Ying’s back, while the fingers of Wei Ying’s right hand made their way into his hair, curling it slowly around them.
Finally, Wei Ying pulled back far enough to be able to look at him properly.
“Say, Lan Zhan,” he said. “There’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you for a very long time.”
“What is it?”
Wei Ying grinned down at him. “Will you go out with me?”
“Yes,” Lan Zhan said immediately. And, smiling, he drew Wei Ying down into another kiss.
