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‘You should have stayed dead.’
The memory comes unbidden to Jupiter’s mind as she watches Balem take in the hotel room. He is quiet, his eyes travelling over everything from the carpet to the view outside the window, to the bed in the other room.
Neither he nor Jupiter pretends to notice, and Caine, even though she can see he is uncomfortable, says nothing and only shifts from one foot to the other.
Jupiter don’t know why, but she’s nervous. The hotel is nice — much nicer than she would be able to afford, but before they arrived on Earth Mr Night had appeared, handing something over to Balem that proved to be a credit card with no limit and an iPhone in a sleek, black case. Of course Balem Abrasax would have an iPhone.
And yet, she is feeling her knees tremble a little as she watches her previous reincarnations son take in Earth. She wonders if he’s ever here before. He obviously knew of Earth, but did he know how she looked? Sounded? Did he care about that at all?
Balem certainly looked like he knew Earth. He was dressed the part; wearing a sleek, black suit and tie, looking like he made more money in a day than Jupiter’s family did in six months. His hair was slicked back and the wet look made his hair colour darker than it actually was. Jupiter decided not to acknowledge that she knew how his actual hair colour looked like. She didn’t like Seraphi’s memories, even one as innocuous as appreciating Balem’s natural, red hair.
Not for the first time, Jupiter questioned if this was wise. Caine had certainly questioned her heavily ever since she told him the news. Taking Balem with her to Earth, trying to persuade him to quit the very business that allowed him to be able to check into the finest hotel in Chicago the moment his feet touched ground?
It was stupid. Not only to think he would ever change, but also to allow him into her life. Balem Abrasax had tried to kill her. But then Jupiter had spent over a month celebrating Balem’s 30th millennia birthday and well… things didn’t always go according to plan.
“This is good, right?” said Jupiter and picked up the TV-remote. “Even got 500 channels, and room service, and a… bar.”
She was rambling. Balem turned to face her, his face as emotionless as ever.
“It is adequate.” he said hoarsely. Jupiter nodded and put the remote down, realizing how stupid it was. Like he’d care about a giant flat-screen TV and cable.
What had she gotten herself into? Was she just a glutton for pain?
“So, what shall we do first?” she asked, keeping her voice cheerful even though she was dog-tired. She had invited him to Earth after all, and as Earth’s owner, she was supposed to be a good host, right?
Balem’s dark, golden eyes observed her, then they slid calmly to Caine and back. She couldn’t read him, but he did not look pleased. There was a silence before Balem seemed to submit and acquiesce to being the one who spoke.
“It was a long travel,” he said, his voice low. “Recuperation seems in order.”
Jupiter blinked, then she blushed. She hadn’t really expected Balem to kick them out the moment they landed, but then she felt like kicking herself for not thinking of it herself.
Balem was still injured from the refinery seven months ago, even if he didn’t look it, and of course he needed to rest after their journey. The little interactions she had had with him told her that Balem was a private person and the large celebration his sister had held for him must have been exhausting in his state.
She remembered the fever she’d felt on his skin that night on the beach, where sheer stubbornness had caused him to exert himself. Kalique herself had even chided him for his stubbornness, once, even though Jupiter wasn’t supposed to know that.
“Oh.” She said and looked to Caine. He seemed perfectly ready to turn out of the hotel room and never come back. “Of course.”
She started towards the door, then changed her course and went over to Balem. She held out her hand for the iPhone still in his hand and delicately Balem handed it to her. His movement reminded her of Kalique for some reason.
Jupiter programmed in her phone number, then gave the phone back.
“So you can call if you need anything.” she explained. “Uh, use that to order food if you want, and, I’ll — we will see you tomorrow?”
Balem just watched her. Jupiter could feel herself sweat.
“At lunch? For lunch?” she was rambling again. Balem’s lips twitched in the faintest smile.
“Lunch is acceptable.” he said. Jupiter decided to leave while her dignity was as intact as it was, and turned and left, Caine following her footsteps.
“Jupe,” he started but stopped to glare at Balem’s body guards out in the corridor. Without a word they went into the hotel room and locked the door. Jupiter rushed to the elevator and took a deep sigh. Caine stood next to her, pursing his lips.
She wanted to go home, not have another fight with him. He had already made his view clear, and she hadn’t seen her family in over a month. She had never been away for that long, and the fact that she would have to go home and pretend that she just came back from her first ever vacation with her new-ish boyfriend instead of just curling up in her bed made her feel exhausted.
“I don’t want to hear it,” she said tiredly.
“Look,” said Caine, using his official sky-jacker voice. Jupiter hated the sympathetic but stern act and rolled her eyes. “I know you’re feeling guilty and responsible for… those memories you got, but you’re not in any way responsible to sight-see your attempted murderer around all the tourist-traps.”
Jupiter rubbed her temples gently. Caine couldn’t even say it. He kept referring to Seraphi’s memories as that , if he spoke about it at all. But it wasn’t just some mild inconveniences, it was the remembrance of entire lifetimes being an awful human being. Jupiter didn’t know all of what she needed in order to deal with that, but one of the things she needed was making some kind of amends with Balem. She felt that in her bones. If Caine didn’t understand that, well, then he just wasn’t invited to come along.
She could tell he wasn’t going to go down without a fight though, so in an annoyed voice she snapped at him.
“He’s my son and I can do whatever I want on my own damn planet.” Caine’s face twisted into shock, and at the same time Jupiter realized what she had said.
Did she — had she just called Balem her son? As in her son? She had to be more tired than she thought, because she was not Balem’s mother. The more she learned about Balem’s mother, the less she wanted to be her, as well.
“Understood, Majesty.” said Caine courtly. They didn’t talk after that, and when she flagged down a taxi, she got in it and left Caine on the curb. She needed a bath when she came home.
Even though it had been wonderful to see her family again, Jupiter was almost as excited to go to lunch with Balem the next day.
It had just been so many interrogations about what she had done on her vacation, and what Caine had said and done, and Jupiter needed a little break from it. When she stepped out of their building, Caine was already waiting for her on the curb. She was both surprised and not to see him, and would have apologized to him, had not the set furrow of his eyebrows told her he was still mad. So instead, they both got into a taxi and just didn’t talk the entire time downtown. When they stepped into the hotel lobby Balem was already waiting for them with three of his body guards, all humans, and Jupiter took Balem’s arm and started leading him out and down the street.
If Caine was going to be that way, she was going to just ignore him.
“Just so you know, you’re paying,” said Jupiter to Balem. He didn’t object.
They walked in silence, Balem’s body guards and Caine following them like shadows. Jupiter felt a little stressed about it, but Balem appeared like it was just an ordinary day for him. She supposed it was. The sargorns Jupiter had seen at the Jupiter refinery had watched over Balem closely, after all.
He’s royalty, a voice in the back of her mind reminded her. He’s been watched his entire life.
Jupiter ignored that and led Balem into the restaurant she had picked out. She had done her research beforehand. The restaurant was just the kind of posh place Balem would find suitable enough for him, but didn’t have a waiting list of six months to get a table. And besides, the thing Balem was wearing pretty much got them an excellent table immediately, and a second one, where Balem’s body guards, and after a second’s hesitation, also Caine sat down next to.
The kind of prices on the menu made Jupiter swoon, but she reminded herself that Balem was paying. Balem studied the menu as sharply as he had studied the hotel room the day before, taking in each option in silence.
Jupiter suddenly realized that maybe — maybe he didn’t know English. Like… he spoke English. Everyone she had met in space spoke English. She hadn’t even realized that that was odd, until right now. If Caine hadn’t been a sourpuss all the way at another table, she might have asked him about it. She certainly wasn’t about to ask Balem, though. No, she would have waited while he was in the bathroom, or something.
But before Jupiter could continue to mull it over, a waiter appeared and Balem made it perfectly clear he had understood the menu. He asked questions about the different options, about the wines, about which region the imported dessert cheese was from, like any of those places meant anything to him.
Then he ordered scallops for him and steak for her.
“Extra rare,” said Balem. Jupiter frowned.
“No, not rare,” she said.
“Extra rare,” Balem said again, and the waiter shot a look at Jupiter, then apparently decided, since Balem obviously was the better dressed and paying, to take his side.
“Extra rare steak,” he said and rushed off in an awkward shuffle. He didn’t even ask what Caine’s table wanted. Jupiter shot Balem a glare.
“I can order for myself.” she chided. Balem placed his head in his hand like he had the habit of doing and watched her disinterestedly. Jupiter shifted in her seat. “I don’t like rare steak.”
“You’ll like it,” Balem said, and it was only because Jupiter decided not to take it as an instruction as it continued to be civil.
“How was your first night on Earth?” Jupiter asked, ignoring the way she could feel his eyes bore into hers.
“It’s loud,” said Balem and glanced out the window at the cars rushing by. He didn’t say it would be better once it was all harvested, but he didn’t have to either.
“Get earplugs,” said Jupiter.
“How was your family?” Balem turned back to her. Jupiter blinked. She hadn’t expected him to ask her anything, especially concerning her family. She just assumed that Balem was above such petty conversation-topics. She tried to remember if either of the Abrasaxes had asked about her family’s health, even once.
Kalique had asked why she was basically, at least according to Kalique, living in squalor with her family. Titus had asked about her love-life. That was pretty much it.
“They were well. Happy to see me.” she said, actually rather flattered that he asked. Balem observed her for a second. The waiter came back with their wine, avoiding eye contact with Jupiter.
She glanced at him and felt her face harden. If this man knew she owned the Earth, maybe he’d make eye contact. Maybe he’d take her word that she didn’t want a rare steak.
“Excuse me,” Jupiter said instead, forcing him to pay attention to her. She smiled, tried to pull off one of Kalique’s effortless smiles, but it felt more like Balem’s, the kind that didn’t reach the eyes. “My friends at the other table didn’t get to order.”
The waiter glanced at Balem. Balem watched the waiter with the kind of interest he would give an ant. Jupiter watched with some level of satisfaction as the waiter swallowed, then walked over to the table and took the orders.
She knew it was mean and petty. Really, you shouldn’t mess with people working in service, they were just doing their job and getting shit for it, most likely, but she needed to exert some kind of control, because she felt like she was losing.
She didn’t even know what she was losing, but it felt like Balem was winning, and she didn’t like that.
“My mom was especially happy to have me home,” Jupiter said after a second. She waited for Balem to explode, the m-word was never good, but to her surprise he just tried the wine. He looked… calm.
Jupiter couldn’t stop her frown. Balem had been tense at Cerise, and before that, downright unhinged at the refinery. Then all of a sudden he was calm and collected, enjoying wine at an earth restaurant and chatting with her about her family. It made her want to provoke him, if only to get a familiar sense back. She pushed that feeling back though.
She was trying to show him the assets beyond simple profit, remember? She couldn’t go pick fights with him just to get a reaction she wanted to deal with, all the time. She needed to play the long game — like Kalique. It was the only way, not only to try and steer Abrasax industries away from RegeneX, but also to make right that which made her entire stomach roar angrily whenever she thought of it.
She wouldn’t be like Seraphi, making enemies when she could be making allies.
Only problem was that she knew this, logically. But there was another issue all together trying to actually make allies. Especially with Balem. Besides their violent history and fucked up relations, they had nothing to talk about. Balem didn’t know anything about Earth, politics, pop-culture, art. Jupiter didn’t know anything about his world either, except the extravagant party that had been Cerise, and the bureaucracy that was their world. What was safe topics?
“Do you have family?” Jupiter heard herself say. Balem raised an eyebrow and Jupiter shrugged lightly. “Besides Kalique and Titus, I mean.”
Balem was silent for a moment, then he leaned back in his chair. “Titus have illegitimate offspring running around, if that is what you mean.
It wasn’t quite, but Jupiter couldn’t really say she was surprised. The first time she had met him, Titus had been charming. He had this way, a casual flirtation going on with the world around him. That kind of attitude was bound to create situations.
“Are you close?” She asked. Balem watched her like he didn’t understand the question.
“To what?” he asked. Jupiter rolled her eyes.
“To Titus’s kids.” she clarified. Balem snorted.
“They are not his children, they’re offspring.” Jupiter didn’t like the tone in his voice.
“What’s the difference?”
“You won’t like it,” Balem said and looked away from her. Jupiter could feel her frown deepen.
“Well, tell me anyway,” she demanded. Balem raised a hand to his throat, almost instinctively, touching the skin right above his shirt.
“Children are legitimate, Entitled. Offspring are inconveniences where the product have mixed with Entitled DNA.” Balem looked at her quickly before looking away again, almost like he didn’t dare observe her for too long.
“The ones that serve no purpose have probably been disposed off, others maybe stay in Titus’ service.” Here Balem shrugged. “It’s not like you can sell them to another house, imagine what a competitor could do with Abrasax DNA.”
Jupiter took a deep breath. She couldn’t start shouting in a crowded restaurant, and besides, the one she really wanted to shout at, Titus, wasn’t here. Instead, she cracked her neck and pinned Balem under a hard stare.
“Do you have offspring ?” she asked. “That you have or have not disposed off?”
Balem gave her an offended look.
“I am not careless like Titus,” he said. His tone told her all she needed to know at the moment. She knew Balem was not Titus. Besides at the refinery, when it came to Seraphi, Balem never acted rash. He was controlled where Titus was lavish.
‘Balem doesn’t like waste,’ Kalique had said once. ‘Titus enjoys wasting away. They are at a natural conflict.’
Jupiter decided that the best course of action was to say nothing at all, and a silence fell over their table until the food came. She didn’t think she’d like it, but at the first bite she realized that she never had rare steak prepared like this. It was delicious, the meat melting in her mouth. She ignored Balem as his eyes followed her fork. She also ignored the faintest smile that came over him when she hummed in appreciation.
He was right, she realized. She did like it.
The knowledge that he possessed over her, just because she shared genes with his mother… she wondered if there was anything Seraphi wouldn’t have liked, but she did? She wanted to find out. She wanted to prove to Balem that he might have known his mother, but he didn’t know her.
They ate in silence. When she looked at Balem he didn’t look at her, but when she looked elsewhere she could feel his gaze, heavy on her. It was like being back in High School, pretending not to look at your crush. Jupiter tried to force her breath to be steady and not mind it. It was only the first day, she reminded herself.
She had known it wouldn’t be easy — hell, being on Cerise surrounded by all that merrymaking hadn’t been easy either, but at least this was her turf. She was on her home planet — a planet that she owned. She could do this.
“Kalique told me that Seraphi had you all genetically engineered.” Jupiter said. She was curious. The things she had seen Seraphi do with her children, it wasn’t a thing parents did to their kids. And yet, Seraphi must have wanted children badly to decide to engineer them. A tightness spread over Balem’s face, but it disappeared as quickly as it came and he nodded. “Is that common, that Entitled engineer kids?”
“If they choose to have them, yes.” Balem said slowly. He seemed to hesitate for a moment, then took another sip of wine. “Eternity comes with drawbacks hard to understand for people of undeveloped worlds. But overpopulation is a serious threat, as are a finite amount of resources. Having a legitimate child is a lengthy process; there are forms that need to be filled in and approved, so during the process assurances are made to create the most appropriate child possible.”
Jupiter thought of Caine, how he had been bred towards the military. It surprised her to think of Balem and his siblings basically being bred in a similar fashion. But what was their purpose then? Were they bred for high society? Bred to be business-people? Bred for Seraphi’s twisted pleasures? She shook her head, trying to rid herself of that image.
“That seems to take a bit of the fun out of it, though,” said Jupiter. Balem raised a delicate eyebrow at her.
“To what fun are you referring?” he asked, his voice almost like honey. Jupiter realized with a flush how he had taken it — the fun being how children were, biologically, conceived. Jupiter gave him the most level-headed look she had.
“I mean,” she said pointedly, “that part of the excitement of kids is seeing who they are; what they’ll like, how they’ll think, if they’ll look like one parent or the other. The thing you describe seem more like producing an animal, rather than a child. Like if it doesn’t live up to expectations or have hidden flaws you can demand a return from the breeder.”
Balem watched her, his face serious.
“We are all products,” he said eventually. Now it was Jupiter’s turn to raise an eyebrow.
‘Some lives will always matter more than others,’ Balem had said to her in the refinery. She had taken his words then as a man judging himself superior to his peers, but now she wondered if Balem didn’t just consider himself a more expensive product in a sea of capital.
Neither of them spoke after that, but Balem got them both dessert, and then they made their way back to the hotel. Jupiter took her arm out of Balem’s and stopped by the elevator.
“I have to work tomorrow,” she said. Balem watched her impassively but said nothing about toilets or cleaning. Jupiter hesitated.
“We could meet up after work.” she said. Balem turned away from her and pressed the elevator button. It was something so ordinary that it made her head hurt a little.
“I am not available tomorrow,” Balem said calmly. Jupiter blinked. Balem shot her a quick glance. “How about Saturday? I understand the weekend is celebrated in this country.”
“Uh, sure.” Jupiter said. The elevator door opened and Balem’s guards stepped inside before Balem himself did. He made a shallow bow to her, and the doors closed.
Caine stepped up next to her, also observing the elevator door.
“So, how’s her Majesty enjoying her son?” he asked drily. Jupiter glared at him and left the hotel.
Jupiter had spent her time ever since she went to dinner with Balem Wednesday to try and figure out what she could show him when they met up Saturday. She had thought about getting tickets to maybe a baseball game, but then as she thought it through more she realized that baseball probably wouldn’t go over very well. Based of what she knew of space, she wouldn’t be surprised if the only sport the Entitled considered a real sport was some kind of gladiator-game. Balem at a Cubs game? Probably not ideal.
Truth be told, she didn’t think anything would necessarily be good enough for him, so in the end she had decided that they would go out dancing. At least there would be music around then, and if they got any awkward silences the beat wouldn’t make it as uncomfortable.
She considered not bringing Caine, but knew he would never forgive her if she went alone, and she needed backup. She didn’t think Balem would try and hurt her again, but then again, if that madness that she had seen in him in the refinery came back, who knew what he’d do?
Jupiter met with Caine outside her apartment at seven thirty. He had dressed for the part, and he looked good. She stepped down the last steps and observed him for a moment.
“Can we make peace?” she asked. Caine rubbed the back of his shoulder and nodded.
“Yeah,” he said and held out his arm for her to take. “I’m sorry, I was an asshole.”
“I was an asshole,” said Jupiter and allowed him to pull her to him. She breathed in the scent that she had gotten to know so well and felt herself relaxing a little bit. “I need to do this, Caine.”
Jupiter could feel Caine nod, and they walked hand in hand to the taxi waiting for them.
“Yeah, I know,” Caine said and held the taxi door open for her. He climbed in after her and watched her seriously. “I don’t know what it’s like, being a recurrence, getting some of Seraphi Abrasax memories.”
Jupiter stroked over her glowing Entitled-mark on her arm through her shirt. She looked at him. “It’s been pretty shit, lately.”
Caine nodded and held her hand the entire ride downtown. It made her feel a little braver.
“This is not dancing,” shouted Balem and eyed the pulsing, thrashing crowd of people bouncing along to the DJ’s beat. Jupiter grinned at him.
“Oh, come on, don’t be a boomer!” she shouted back at him. “Get a table, I’ll get drinks.”
Jupiter rushed over to the bar, certain that Caine could keep the peace with Balem and his body guards at least a little bit, and have the wisdom not to allow Balem to forcefully remove people just to get a table. She ordered two beers and shots for her and Balem, and pops for Caine and the body guards. She knew they wouldn’t drink, and Caine would also like to remain sober, just in case something were to happen.
Jupiter had decided she was going to enjoy this night. She couldn’t remember the last time she was out on a Saturday night, at a bar. Even if it was with her not-son, it was too good an opportunity to let go of.
She found the group by a table and a tense silence around them. Jupiter ignored it and handed the pops to the body guards. They took them with surprised looks on their faces, but Jupiter just smiled and gave Caine his. Balem eyed the beer bottle like he considered it poisonous.
“What is it?” he asked over the music. Jupiter placed first the shot glass, then the beer in front of him.
“This is tequila, and this is beer.” She held out her hand for Balem’s, and when he hesitantly took it, Jupiter pulled it to her, licked a bit of his palm and poured salt onto her spit.
Balem was frowning, but he picked up the lemon-slice and actually took the shot just like she did.
“That is vile,” he said after a lengthy grimace.
“You love it,” she said decisively. Balem didn’t argue and tried the beer as well. He made a face and Jupiter laughed at it.
“This is worse,” he said with a passion.
“You have to get used to it.” Jupiter said. Caine hadn’t liked beer that much at first either, but he had gotten into it pretty quickly. He had told her that they used to make some kind of moonshine while he was in the Legion that tasted a little similar. She couldn’t imagine that Balem had ever had moonshine, though.
“I think I’ll need more of those, in that case.” Balem gestured to the now empty shot glass. Jupiter could feel her face split in half.
“That could be arranged.” she purred. Balem gave her an unreadable look, but then had one of his body guards go get more tequila for them.
Balem Abrasax was drunk. That was fine, because Jupiter Jones was also drunk.
To be honest, it wasn’t a situation she had ever thought she’d be in, actually happily drunk and walking along with a man that had tried to kill her, but there she was. Caine was behind them with Balem’s body guards, keeping a careful watch over them. Jupiter had her arm in Balem’s like they were old friends, and Balem was talking about breweries in space. It was wild.
“No,” Balem said passionately and shook his head. “Because what we had there, beer , tastes like piss.”
“It does not,” Jupiter exclaimed.
“It tastes like piss.” Balem deadpanned. Jupiter laughed.
“How would you — how do you know?”
“Oh, I know,” said Balem. He sounded so sure of himself that Jupiter didn’t question it. She laughed again.
“The thing you drink out in space — that toxic blue shit, that tastes like piss,” Jupiter said.
“Afalloù?” Balem shook his head. “It does not.”
“It can’t be good for you,” Jupiter said certainly. The thing even looked poisonous.
“Nectar of the Gods,” said Balem. Jupiter huffed.
“Just because you chug it like water doesn’t make it divine,” she said. Balem glanced at her. In the street light she could see him raise an eyebrow at her.
They had reached Balem’s hotel, and both of them stopped just outside in the street and watched each other. The night had been fun. Jupiter had actually had fun. They stared at each other. What was the proper etiquette now?
Jupiter was about to suggest an actual night-cap when Caine stepped up to them and interrupted.
“Jupe, the taxi,” he said. Balem’s eyes left Jupiter’s face and travelled to Caine, then off to behind her and the taxi that was waiting. Jupiter blinked and fanned herself a little.
“Yeah.” she said but didn’t move from her spot. “Um, when should we — when are you free next?”
“Next Saturday?” Balem asked. Jupiter did not feel disappointed at such a long wait. She nodded and pushed her hair back behind her ear.
“Okay. See you then.” Balem glanced at Caine, did his usual short bow to her and walked into the hotel.
Jupiter watched him go and went into the taxi. Caine followed but said nothing. Jupiter rested her head against the window and fell asleep.
Balem and Jupiter is walking together in a garden. The flowers are in bloom, and there’s a sweet scent in the air. Jupiter has a bag of snacks in one hand, Balem in the other.
It’s very beautiful. Feels peaceful. Balem is talking work, completely enamoured with the dealings he’s currently in. Jupiter smiles and sit down on a blanket under a fruit tree. Suddenly a child shouts.
“Mother!” Titus runs up to her, his chubby little legs almost not managing the speed he’s in. Jupiter throws her arms around him and gives him a big hug.
“Titus, darling.”
“Look!” Titus pulls away and shows her what he has found; a small snail with a soft pink shell. Jupiter takes his hand and inspects it seriously.
“Look at that,” she says with all the interest she can muster. “Go show your brother.”
Titus does as he’s told and rushes over to Balem. Balem shoots her a glare that Jupiter just smiles through. He still bends down to inspect the snail Titus is holding out.
“Very good,” he says slowly. “If you find more we can make soup of them.”
“Really?” Titus exclaims, sounding equally shocked and thrilled at the same time. Balem nods gravely.
“Yes, but you’d have to get a lot,” he says thoughtfully. “Maybe get a bowl to hold them all in.” Titus turns around and dashes away.
“I’m going to get a bowl from Cook!” He screams and then he disappears. Jupiter gives Balem a knowing look that Balem pointedly ignores. He sits down next to her, and she leans her head on his shoulder.
“You’re soft,” she says, softly.
“I’ll be harsher when he’s older.” Balem says.
“And how is that working out for you with Kalique?” she teases. Balem ignores her and lies down on the blanket.
“Kalique is still young,” he says. Jupiter lies down next to him and draws patterns on his chest.
“She’s older than you were when you started working,” she says.
“Not everyone can have my natural talents,” he says and looks at her. She watches his eyes, golden hazel, sometimes green in the right light. Like supernovas.
Balem leans over and kisses her, and Jupiter pulls him close. The kiss is tender, sweet. She moans softly. He tastes of the candied snacks they’d just had, and something spicy that feels intoxicating.
“Balem,” she murmurs.
“Jupiter,” he replies, his voice husky. Then suddenly the garden is gone.
“You should have stayed dead.” Balem says and beats down on her with a metal rod.
“I am not your mother,” she hisses. He hits her again, something wild burning in those golden eyes.
“No; you’re worse.”
Jupiter was having a shit week. Work was long, they’d been forced to eat lunch on the go three days in a row and Jupiter was tired of cold potatoes. She’d been having trouble sleeping, and Vladie had another scheme he was trying to rope her into. She hadn’t had to deal with this shit when she’d been on Cerise. Jupiter owned the Earth, and yet, here she was, scrubbing toilets. She half-considered if Balem would be willing to leave the credit-card when he left, but she had a feeling that miraculously a limit would appear on it the moment he was gone.
The only thing that made her week a little better was the fact that it was the weekend. Except that she had promised to spend the Saturday with Balem.
All she really wanted was to lie down in bed and sleep, but Balem had sent her a text yesterday asking if they could go to an art museum. Jupiter had never been to an art museum, so she was actually rather excited about it.
She didn’t know what to wear to an art museum though. Jeans and t-shirt felt right, but if Balem was planing to go to a really fancy museum maybe that would be inappropriate.
In the end she decided on a dress, still rather casual, but if she put her hair up it could look formal in a pinch.
She didn’t quite know what she was doing, to be honest. Jupiter knew she wanted to… she don’t know, mend something in the Abrasax family? She knew she shouldn’t, but she felt responsible for it.
It was weird; Balem, Kalique and Titus were millennia older than she was — they weren’t even really related. Like, weird space genetics didn’t make them family just because it made them genetically related. She wasn’t their mother. And yet, here she was, making an effort, just like you did for family. Maybe she was more tired than she realized.
Jupiter finished getting dressed and then she went out. This time she was not surprised to find Caine waiting for her outside.
They hadn’t hung out much. Maybe they could go out together tomorrow, maybe go roller-skating. She was just about to suggest it when she saw Caine wasn’t alone.
Balem was also there, standing a little further away from Caine like he didn’t want to step too close. His body guards were waiting as well.
“Balem,” Jupiter said, surprised. Then she realized that she greeted him before her boyfriend, and she tries to shoot him an apologetic grin. Caine isn’t paying attention to her, though. Or, he is paying attention, but in the same way Balem’s body guards did, where they adverted their eyes for a pretence of privacy.
“Jupiter,” Balem said, his voice sounding rougher than usual. She took his offered hand and to her surprise got led into a limousine.
“Fancy,” she said appreciatively. Caine and the body guards follow them in, and then they’re in silence. Jupiter looked around. She had never been in a limousine, but she had cleaned houses that had limousines. She was a little surprised how well Balem just blended into Earth. How did he even know that a limousine was the vehicle of the crème de la crème, or was it just that rich understood rich, no matter where they were?
The car-ride went fast, and quickly Jupiter found herself in the museum. It wasn’t really what she had imagined. There was an exhibition on modern art, and Balem spend thirty minutes observing everything in silence before they moved on to the next.
Jupiter actually got a little bored through half of it, but by then it seemed like Balem noticed, because he started to explain things about what they were looking at.
She didn’t know how he knew it, but he held a fifteen-minute lecture on the way to build up a scene, and then he started saying what he came to think about when he viewed the art. It became more interactive, and when Jupiter said she saw a dragon in an impressionistic painting, Balem didn’t ridicule her as she thought he would, but nodded and pointed out what was the tail, and what was the head of the dragon.
The last exhibition was Greco-Roman marble busts and statues. They stayed there the longest, looking over the fine chistled works of art. Balem stood in front of a life-size statue of a woman, holding out a torch like a battle cry. Jupiter joined him and watched it for a moment.
“What does it remind you of?” she asked, because Balem responded well to that. The exhibition before last he had basically explained an entire alien world to her, with flowers that glowed and with a beach that sparkled like diamonds.
When Balem talked about art, Jupiter could tell he’d been to so many places; seen so many things — things she couldn’t even imagine. Balem, however, didn’t start talking about art.
“Mother,” he said hoarsely. First Jupiter thought he was calling her mother again, but then she realized he was answering her.
She straightened up and watched the statue more closely. It didn’t look particularly like Seraphi to her, but then again, Kalique had a large marble bust of their dead mother on her planet. Maybe there were a lot of white statues scattered across the ‘verse, and of course statues like this would remind him of his dead mother.
Jupiter tried to keep her anger to herself. She can’t get angry whenever someone mentions Seraphi. That’s just not a productive use of her time.
“I’ve been trying to read up on Recurrences, but there’s not a lot written about them.” Jupiter said. Most she had found was practically religious nonsense, with one article that explained the science behind it but made her head hurt trying to understand. “How come I have some of her memories?”
Balem was silent for a moment. She could tell it wasn’t a subject he wanted to discuss, but after a second he sighed. “What do you know of cloning?”
“Just the basics, I suppose.” Jupiter said.
“When you clone someone, you recreate the genetic code down to the miniscule.” Balem’s voice sounded like sandpaper. “But even then, that clone is no more the original person than an identical twin would be its sibling. It just has the same genetic make-up.”
“Like me and Seraphi,” said Jupiter. Balem shook his head faintly, his eyes set on the statue in front of them.
“No. You are a natural genetic irregularity; rare but not unheard of.” Balem glanced at her coldly. “The wise take recurrence as a potential outcome, not a given.” Jupiter ignored the hostility she felt from him at that moment.
“So what does that mean, then, if I’m not an identical twin to Seraphi?”
“You are mother.” Balem said. Jupiter glared at him, but he seemed unaffected by it. “When a recurrence happens the universe aligns itself to recreate the exact same person. Mother’s memories are ingrained in your genetic code because. You. Are. Her .”
Jupiter hesitated.
“So if I had a son, I’d have you? Or Titus?” she asked. She didn’t even know if she wanted kids, but the possibility of giving birth to Balem made her deeply uncomfortable.
“No,” said Balem nonchalantly. “Unless you merged your DNA with that of the same genetic make-up Titus or I am made up of. Then you’d make a clone.”
He looked at her, his gaze sharp like he couldn’t believe she didn’t understand that from his explanation. Jupiter breathed out a sigh of relief.
“Good,” she said.
“Of course, any child you have would be siblings with us.” Jupiter tensed up and did her best to relax her jaw again. This was fine.
She linked her arm through Balem’s and faced him.
“I do believe I owe you pizza,” she said. Balem allowed the change of subject and glanced at her, his eyes unreadable. A faint nod was all she got.
Outside in the setting sun the limousine was waiting for them to take them to the hotel, with a quick stop at the pizza parlour. Balem watched the place like it was a hazard he had never seen the like of before in his life.
“Their pizzas are to die for,” Jupiter assured him. Balem looked hesitant.
Once they were back at the hotel Jupiter stopped just outside of Balem’s suite and handed Balem the pizza carton.
“Set this up inside,” she said and turned to Caine. Balem and his guards went inside and left them alone without so much as a glance. Jupiter sighed, bit her lip and put her hand over Caine’s. His dark eyes looked guarded.
“You can go home, Caine,” Jupiter said. He made to argue, but she stopped him. “I know you don’t like it but… it makes me uncomfortable when you’re hovering behind me.”
“Jupe, I’m protecting you.” Caine said. Jupiter shook her head.
“I know, but he’s not going to do anything to me.” Caine gave her an unbelieving look. Jupiter knew it was probably stupid, but she was sure Balem wasn’t a threat right now.
She tried to explain it to him. “He would have done something by now if he wanted to hurt me.”
“You’ve had personal security,” Caine said, “so, of course he hasn’t tried anything. But if I’m not with -”
“If you’re not with, maybe I don’t have to feel so stressed trying to figure this out.” Jupiter argued. “I’m — I feel like an asshole for not paying attention to you when you’re right there .”
“Well, what is it you have to figure out?” Caine snapped. He was getting angry now. “You’re Jupiter , not Seraphi.
“He’s tried to kill you, he shouldn’t even be allowed near you.”
Jupiter wanted to shout at him or do something to make him understand. She knew she was Jupiter, but…
It was like, her whole life she had known she was a Jones, but also a Bolotnikov as well. The two weren’t exclusive to each other. And being Seraphi’s recurrence; well, that made her an Abrasax too.
“Please go home,” Jupiter said with a shake of her head. “I need to do this, and I need to do it alone.”
Caine shook his head, but Jupiter held up a hand to stop him.
“It’s not your decision,” she said. Caine pressed his lips together and clenched his fists. He glanced over her shoulder at the door like it had personally offended him. It looked like he wanted to argue more, but then he bowed deeply to her.
“Majesty,” he said, his voice gruff. He met her eyes. “Be careful.”
Jupiter could feel herself relaxing. She smiled and nodded to him. “I will. I’ll text you later, okay?”
Caine hesitated, then turned around and stiffly walked away from the hotel room. Jupiter watched him get into the elevator before she went into Balem’s room.
She caught sight of Balem, watching the pizza distrustingly. She walked over, sat down in one of the large sofas and grabbed a slice. Balem’s eyes narrowed, watching her hands. She couldn’t help but laugh and took a bite.
“Tradition is to eat it like this,” she said before he could argue or get one of his body guards to grab them plates.
“Where is your lycantant?” Balem asked and leaned back. His eyes didn’t meet hers. Jupiter frowned.
“You know his name.” Jupiter said, keeping her voice cold. Every time she felt like they were taking a step forward, Balem would take a step back.
“Is it wise to send him away from your side?” Balem asked. Jupiter raised an eyebrow.
“Should I call him back?”
Balem was quiet, then slowly reached out and picked up a pizza slice. Jupiter allowed them to remain in silence for a while, observing him as he looked at everything except her.
He rarely looked at her directly in the face if he could help it. Jupiter wondered why that was, because Titus and Kalique hardly managed to take their eyes off her.
“Are you healing well?” Jupiter suddenly asked. He looked alright to her, but then again, so had he done at Cerise before.
“Sufficiently.”
“Are you using RegeneX?”
Balem looked at her then. She wished she would see some kind of conflict in his eyes, but Balem was calm like they were discussing the weather or something.
“Yes,” he said. Jupiter frowned.
“How come it’s not healing you immediately? It turns you young straight away.” She had seen it on Kalique first hand, and she had seen Balem in feeds, looking much older than he did now.
“I don’t like consuming it like food.” Balem said casually, like that made any sense.
“You can eat it?” Jupiter asked, surprised. It wasn’t a pleasant thought, but she thinks she’d prefer bathing in it, rather than eating it if she ever had to take it. Not that she would, just that she’d rather not put dead people in her mouth.
“It’s considered a delicacy.” said Balem. Jupiter raised an eyebrow.
“So why don’t you eat it? Seems like it would be right up your alley.”
The faintest smirk flashed across Balem’s face. “Maybe I just like baths.”
Jupiter leaned back into the sofa. A brief vision of Balem in a bathtub as big as this entire hotel-room flashed before her eyes. Him gazing out into the stars, droplets of water running down his freckled shoulders.
It was not an unpleasant thought, and that among all was what disturbed her the most. She stood up quickly.
“I should go.” Jupiter said.
“Don’t,” said Balem. Jupiter looked at him besides her best knowledge. She could see something in his eyes, something that made her feel like he was about to split her open, pull out all secrets and thoughts she contained and expose them to the light.
Jupiter’s knees felt weak.
“Why not?” she asked. Balem tilted his head and since he wasn’t wearing his high collar, but a sleek button-up shirt and tie, the motion exposed his throat. Jupiter thought of tasting that skin. Bite it like Caine had, or trail kisses down it.
“Because,” Balem snapped, but then he seemed to realize an outburst would get her to leave, so he grew still and calm once again. “You are only prolonging the inevitable.”
Jupiter raised an eyebrow. “And what is the inevitable?”
Balem sighed and looked away from her. Jupiter set her jaw.
“Balem?” she demanded. He turned back to her and regarded her calmly.
“That you realize that you have more in common with me than the seven billion people on this planet.” he said and gestured to the pizza-box. “That these are distractions keeping you from your real life.”
“My real life is on Earth,” Jupiter said. Balem snorted.
“Earth is your inheritance.” he said. “A pretty thing in a jewellery box. And you’re playing pretend.”
“Excuse me?” Jupiter could feel herself shaking, but she tried to draw herself to her true height. “I am not playing anything.”
“But you are, Jupiter Jones.” Balem gave her that knowing stare again, the one that seemed to leave her bare and naked in front of him. “You’re pretending you’re ordinary, but you have never been ordinary a day in your life. You’re distracting yourself from the truth, which is that one day you will outgrow this planet.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do,” Balem said. “It’s why you invited me here to begin with. You’re already feeling it. The growing unease, the displeasure at your surroundings. You’ve felt it your entire life. And it is because you are a giant in a miniature world.”
Jupiter frowned at him and shook her head.
‘ I invited you here to convince you of other options than RegeneX,’ she wanted to say. What came out of her mouth was something else. “I invited you here because you needed to heal properly, not get roped into ball after ball with your siblings.”
“How thoughtful,” said Balem hoarsely, his head tilted like a cat watching pray. “And why is that such a concern for Jupiter Jones?”
Jupiter turned away from him. “I’m going home.”
Before she could open the door however, Balem was behind her. He put his hand over her shoulder, pressing against the door so it wouldn’t open. Jupiter tensed up, both because he was keeping her from leaving, but also because he suddenly was so close. If she leaned back she could rest her body against his chest. Jupiter swallowed.
“Move,” she demanded.
“No.” Balem whispered.
“You know I invited you to try and make amends for Seraphi’s… actions,” Jupiter said. She didn’t want to bring it up. She didn’t even like thinking about it. “The things she did to you -”
“Unlike what your Lycantant have done to me, you mean?” Balem said from behind her. He was talking into her ear, which caused a shiver to run through her.
“That was different — he didn’t mean to attack you, Seraphi drugged him.”
“But he did mean to fuck me.”
“Language,” Jupiter snapped, feeling her cheeks flush. She could feel Balem shrug behind her.
“Well, you were the one who said it first. Or shall I say we were an item?”
Jupiter turned around to face him, still locked between him and the door. She put a hand on his chest, thinking to push him away, but then she just grew still.
“It’s not the same,” said Jupiter, watching her hand in stark contrast against Balem’s white shirt. “You’re not related to Caine.”
“All that matters is the name,” said Balem. “Who can remember the details?”
Jupiter wanted to argue. It seemed like the Abrasax siblings remembered the details very well. They called her mother. They had gardens dedicated to her memory, statues erected to mourn her by.
Mourn Seraphi, not Jupiter, she reminded herself. But she looked up from her hand into Balem’s eyes, seeing the gold with green stars within them and her words died away.
“I am not your mother,” Jupiter said slowly. Balem watched her, his golden eyes moving down to her lips.
“No,” he said eventually. “But you could be more than you are.”
Jupiter can feel herself getting angry now. She glared at him.
“Like you?” she snapped and squared her jaw. “So above people that I don’t even notice when I crush them like ants?”
Balem is still against her. She can feel his heartbeat trump through her hand.
“Who knows what you’ll be,” Balem whispers then, and she could swear she hears reverence in his voice. “Jupiter Jones.”
And then he kissed her. And Jupiter… Jupiter kissed him back.
And she didn’t feel like Seraphi Abrasax, terrible and inhuman. She felt like she was on fire. Like she was the Queen of the Earth and Balem was an important, treasured part of her rule.