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The day of the wedding came closer and closer and the closer it came, the more Neji felt stabbed with a hot knife.
Piercing his heart, it hurt.
It hurt having to help Hinata, his Hinata, choose the color of her dress, having to watch over her while she learned the traditional ways of the wedding ceremony and to then having to practice one of the rituals with her.
It hurt, tears pricked his eyes but he forced his neutral face and he behaved, putting on the strong act by day, infront of the main family and his branch family members, to not appear weak or worse yet, heartbroken.
But that was what he was, heartbroken.
He knew, his love had been doomed from the very beginning but he had dreamed and wished, that one day he would have been able to marry Hinata.
His Lady Hinata.
The woman he would gladly sacrifice his live for.
The woman he had learned to love and adore and now to witness, her getting married and having to share the bed with another man…
That thought killed him bit by bit, everyday a little more.
When nightfall came and he had settled down for bed, he often laid awake, restless and sleepless, thinking of that one special night, those two had shared.
Hinata laying in his arms, the sweet kisses, the soft touches and softly spoken words, they had exchanged.
Oh how he had wished that night had never come to an end.
But it had, just like his chances of having Hinata all to himself.
So here he was, laying in bed, restless yet again, thinking of his love and close to crying.
Her skin had been so incredibly soft, just like the finest silk, white as the moon and her hair and eyes had glistened like diamonds.
This image had been burned into his skull, he was certain he could never love another more, then he loved Lady Hinata.
No other woman could compare to her and her beauty, she was the most pure and beautiful being in the world to him.
Silent tears fell as he heard a soft knock on the door.
He first thought, he was dreaming, that knock sounded just like the one he had heard that night but when it sounded a second time, neji was certain he wasn’t dreaming.
Quickly he wiped his eyes and got up from his bed, with only his pants on and his hair falling open and loose around his torso, he rushed to the door to open it.
His heart skipped a beat, there, right before him, stood Hinata, smiling as shy and gentle as she had that night.
„Sorry…. I didn’t mean to wake you but… I couldn’t sleep“ she said softly and whispering.
Neji nodded, stepping aside to allow her to enter his room.
She was beautiful, wrapped into her lavender coloured night kimono and her hair falling softly down her back.
Neji gulped, her beauty was breath taking.
She entered his room and he closed the door.
„I’m so sorry…. But… I couldn’t sleep and I wanted… to be with you“ she admitted and came closer.
„L-lady Hinata…“ he breathed „I’m very happy you are here but… shouldn’t you seek comfort with your fiancé?“ He asked.
She shook her head „I don’t want to be with him“ she sat down on Nejis bed, the elder male sat down next to her and prepared to listen to what she had to say.
„I don’t want to get married to someone I don’t love… Why must our family be so traditional?“ She sighed „Why can’t I choose whom I want to marry?“
These words hurt Neji, „Well… because that’s how our family is… I wish things were different Lady Hinata, for your sake“
Hinata looked at him and gently grabbed his hand and gave it a soft squeeze, „Thank you for being here for me… I… I keep thinking of our night“ she said, cheeks flushing red, which Neji couldn’t see due to the dim light of the moon.
These little words, made Neji happy to no ends. He was on her mind, more he could never ask for.
The night they had spent had never been discovered, so he had never received a punishment for being this close to his Lady but he desired her warmth, to be close to her, to hold her once more while she slept and to exchange soft words with her once more.
That’s what he wanted, he needed.
He needed Hinata to be happy.
She was his sun, his moon and his stars.
All that was dear to him and all he had left to cherish and to hold.
But the sheer thought of her being close to him again felt like he asked for too much.
God had blessed him once, he wouldn’t bless him a second time.
But… if god had already turned on him… why was he blessed with Hinatas presence right now?
„You, you think of that night?“ He then asked softly, the young woman nodded.
„Yes, I really liked and enjoyed it. You give me comfort in a way I fear no man will ever be able to give it to me“ she said.
That made Nejis heart skip a beat, Hinata felt comfortable and safe around him.
That praise felt so good, it healed his broken heart a bit and made him smile, „Thank you Lady Hinata, it means a lot“
„Please let me spend the night again Neji… I want to be able to sleep… just this one last time… in your arms“ she gently whispered.
Neji was hesitant for a brief moment.
There was nothing in the world he wanted more then to hold Hinata but if they were to be caught… he would be greatly punished for it.
uB just a glance into these beautiful lavender eyes made him forget all about his morals and the fear of being punished and he nodded.
„Sure, nothing would make me happier then to grant you this wish Lady Hinata“
„neji, please, here within these walls I’m just Hinata to you“ she smiled and came a bit closer.
Neji got flustered, they had kissed before but having Hinata this close again made his heart race and his palms sweaty.
To think, he had received Hinatas first kiss, a gift, she could now never give to anyone else, that made him very proud.
They laid down, Hinata snuggled up in Nejis arms, hand resting on the males bare chest and head resting upon his shoulder.
Neji gently brushed his fingers through Hinatas soft hair and held her close.
Protectively he had wrapped his arms around the young heiress and refused to let her go, unless she wanted him to.
Some time late in the night, Neji had almost dozed off, Hinata lifted her head, he felt it but remained still, to see, what the young woman would do.
He felt her shift next to him and he thought she was just changing her sleeping position, when all of a sudden, he felt very soft lips brush against his in a gentle embrace.
Neji retuned the kiss immediately, very gently and cupped Hinatas cheek while kissing her softly.
When they drew their heads back, both were breathless.
„Neji… I…“ Hinata started to speak but Neji smiled and interrupted her.
„I liked the kiss“ he said.
„No… that’s not it“ Hinata shook her head „I want… to keep kissing you… I want to be close to you“ she said blushing furiously.
Neji nodded and shifted them, laying her beneath him.
His heart raced, his palms were sweaty and he got flustered. Hinata wanted to keep kissing him.
Him.
It made him feel so special and so loved eventhouogh he wasn’t sure if feelings of these sorts were involved at all.
But he would fulfill her wish, he had dreamt of this for the past 4 years.
He brushed his hair back and nodded, „Yes, Hinata“ he smiled softly and bent down, kissing his secret love over and over.
He kissed her, softly, gently but soon, the kisses grew more heated and he felt Hinata returning them with more and more desire.
Her hands started wandering, first they gently touched his arms, then his shoulders and proceeded to explore his exposed skin, up and down his back.
Neji grew goosebumps, her touch felt so good, gentle yet hot and it made his entire body burn up and he had to focus to not get a boner.
Hinata was a goddess, his goddess, his angel. This felt like a fever dream.
Oh how he wished, this would never end.
Their lips moved in sync and Hinatas hands felt Nejis skin, he didn’t dare to touch her.
He didn’t want to disrespect her or dishonor her.
„Neji… please… you can touch me too“ Hinata whimpered softly and touched his cheek gently.
„Are… you sure?“ He asked with a hoarse voice, he couldn’t believe his ears.
She gave him permission to touch her.
This was so much different from their first night they had shared, so much more intimate.
He swallowed hard and reached out his hand, he gently pat her cheek and kissed her lips.
„Yes, you can touch me, I trust you“ she whispered against his lips.
That made Nejis heart skip a beat.
Those words healed his aching heart a bit.
She was so perfect and she gave him all of this attention and affection, he felt as if he wasn’t deserving of it.
But he wanted to be, he wanted this.
Slowly, his hand graced her shoulders, her arms, slowly, very slowly, as if he was afraid to break her.
The night went like Neji had never dared to dream.
They had shared intimacy, soft touches, sweet words and a lot of heated kisses.
Neji was very sad that this night had ended but he would never forget it.
He never would forget that Hinata had given herself to him.
This moment he would always cherish.