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It was a quiet night. One of those when the stars would look even brighter contrasting the almost black, cloudless sky. The only building rising in the midst of surrounded by threes field was Charles Xavier’s school for gifted youngsters. The nature of this centuries-old structure was completely still. Even though the grounds were well-trimmed, it looked deserted and someone who did not know better would definitely be fooled.
However, not all the inhabitants were asleep. Down in the basement, where he had set up his laboratory, was Henry McCoy the X-men who was known by the codename Beast. After his recent failed experiment to develop a serum to get rid of his big ape-like feet, which left him bluer and furrier than he was comfortable with, the genius mutant worked hard on a way to change his appearance once more.
The laboratory was quite big and he had plenty of space to use. As it was expected from someone as passionate about science as Hank was, he spent all of his free time down there. Keeping himself busy was his coping mechanism and right now all distractions were welcome.
Two months had passed since Cuba and Charles had started to slowly develop the school he dreamed of opening. Hank thought the idea was great and welcomed with open arms the tight schedule that came with these plans. He didn’t have time to think about Erik’s betrayal, which didn’t really surprise him or Raven’s leaving.
“Mutant and Proud,” her last words to him echoed in his mind. That phrase seemed to float around his consciousness a lot lately. It made him miss her even more, but it was stupid. Raven left and that was it. She left to play superior with Erik-- no Magneto.
He had seen her twice since the beach and both times were on a battlefield where he had to fight her along with the rest of the Brotherhood. She had gotten way better at fighting...and far colder. It hurt Hank at first, seeing her attack him and the rest so easily, but it all his delusion to believe that she was still the same Raven from Division X.
How could he proud when he looked like….a beast, a monster? He couldn’t even leave the house anymore. At least he could hide his big feet before, but now it was impossible to cover up. His parents kept calling to ask how he was or wanted to visit, but he turned them down every time with some lame excuse. He couldn’t keep doing this. There is gotta be a way to fix himself.
He dropped a couple of drops of a new serum prototype on the sample glass with his DNA on it. Careful not to drop it, Hank gently lifted it with the tips of his long claws and placed it under the microscope. The mutant adjusted the focus and looked into the eyepiece lens. He observed as the molecules of his DNA were torn apart by the new serum. Another failure.
A growl raised in the back of his throat and he tightened his grip around the lens. It was crushed before he could even realize it. The frustration grew stronger and his control began to slowly slip away. Stopping himself wasn’t even possible at this point. The animal side of him took over too fast, like so many times before.
Beast sent the microscope flying towards the wall and it completely shattered upon collusion. He flipped the table and every test tube fell on the floor. Broken glass flew everywhere as he continued to rage and trash the laboratory without a stop. The small frustration had grown to anger and then to full-blown rage in a matter of seconds. Trought the eyes of a wild animal, Hank didn’t know what he was doing. There was just so much anger flowing through his veins, clouding his mind.
“Charles may have a shit ton of money, but he isn’t a spendthrift, Bozo,” a disembodied voice behind him said and snapped him back to reality.
Breathing heavily, he turned around to see a figure leaning against the door frame. In his current state, his senses were highlighted to a maximum and every little noise annoyed him even more. The sarcastic tone the newcomer had used definitely did. Hank leaped towards the door in an attempt to claw at the intruder. He stopped himself inches from the person’s face as the familiar scent burst into his nose.
Wait a minute--
Hank turned away and breathed in and out, calming himself down. His anger slowly, but steadily scattered away and his human mind emerged again. When he was calm enough, he faced Alex who, to his surprise, was grinning.
“Are you insane!?” Hank demanded, still trying to control his breathing.
“Clinically no,” Alex shrugged as if nothing had happened. If Hank hadn’t convinced himself so far, he did it now; this boy was a complete idiot.
“Stars and gathers” Hank rolled his eyes and turned to see the remains of his lab. Most of it was trashed, but the damage didn’t extend to more than test tubes and a couple of small machines. Good… at least comparatively. Alex’s advent saved the more precious equipment, but even if Hank was glad for it, he wouldn’t admit it. Had he done it, Alex wouldn’t let it go and would start chattering how he was Hank’s savior or something along those lines.
“You know it is three in the morning right?” Alex’s tone and expression unnoticeably gradated from amused to serious.
Hank raised an eyebrow a little surprised. “You know it is three o’clock right?” He returned the question emphasizing the pronoun.
“Heard noise, wanted to check,” The blond-haired mutant clarified and Hank just nodded suddenly feeling awkward.
Back during their Division X time together, Hank and Alex weren’t on the best terms with each other. It was most of an antagonistic relationship so to say with Alex teasing Hank about the size of his feet. Later on, when the group relocated to the mansion and after Cuba, both mutants found a way to respect each other, which grew into a fairly good friendship.
“Sorry I woke you up then,” Hank murmured as he started to clear the broken glass with the broom, which he kept near the door.
“I didn’t say you woke me up,” Alex pushed himself away from the wall and hopped on one of the tables, “I wasn’t sleeping anyway.”
Hank let the broom fall on the floor and sat on the chair in front of the table, on which Alex was positioned. “Let me guess,” he didn’t need a lot of time to figure out what was the case of his friend’s sleeping trouble, “the beach.”
The moment the words left his mouth he knew he had right. Alex's expression just confirmed it.
They all still had nightmares of that fateful day in November. Thousands of rockets flying with great speed towards them, ready to turn that beach into a fiery desert. Sometimes he would wake up in the middle of the night, falling asleep on his desk surrounded by machine parts, the image of the deadly weapons still clear in front of his eyes.
"I think you should stop."
Confused, Hank caught his eye staring at his seemingly infinite papers scattered on the only table he didn't manage to ruin in his fit. On the one Alex was looking at, was the newest formula for his serum.
"I don't think I get what you mean." A lie. He knew exactly what Alex meant. He was just in denial.
“C’mon, let’s drop the game. You are not an idiot and I am not one as well…,” Hank lifted a finger with the intention to correct him, but he was cut out before he could open his mouth,
“Not a word,” Alex said, nothing amusing standing out in the way he spoke. Beast got the message clearly, it was a serious conversation.
Before they started living here, Hank couldn’t imagine Alex leading a discussion that wasn’t about sport or cars or something actually important. Now that he knew better he could silently admit his mistake, but never out loud.
“I will find the right formula, I know I will,” Hank said, releasing the tension from his shoulders.
“Listen, bozo,” Alex began. He sounded so tired. Definitely not how a fifteen-year-old should sound like. At that moment Hank realized he knew almost nothing about Alex’s life before Division X and he felt clueless. “Trying to manipulate what you look like, what you can do means you are fighting against your own body instead of, I don’t know, accepting it as it is. You spent so much time, mental and physical energy to fix something that is not broken at all.”
What did he understand about any of this? He never had to hide like some freak of nature. He looked normal, could be easily accepted by society, but Hank…. he couldn’t pass as anything more than a circus freak. How could Alex even dare to advise him on something he was completely in the dark about? Couldn’t he just mind his own business and move on? He was angry...but also so tired. The sudden flush of anger left suddenly just as it appeared. Hank just didn’t have the energy to argue with the blond. He could give him some piece of his mind tomorrow. Plus he had work to do. He had already lost enough time with this conversation.
“Thanks for the advice…..but I have to go back to work if you don’t mind,” Hank tried to be polite as he could.
“I do mind actually,” Alex said with a note of frustration.
“Why do you have to be so annoying all the time?” The genius found himself biting back the anger he felt towards the boy in front of him.
“Why are you so dumb if you have graduated from Harvard?” Alex shot back.
Hank grabbed on both sides of his chair, his claws digging deep into the cushioning, leaving holes in the leather. He really wanted to keep his control - didn’t want to scream or lose his temper, but it seemed like Alex’s mission was to drive him up the wall.
“What is your problem?” Hank hissed through his teeth. He could see Alex's mere annoyance grow into something more explosive within seconds.
“The fact that you are trying to fuck up with something that doesn't need to be fucked up!" Alex snapped. "The fact that you don't sleep, you don't leave the lab all damn day and for what…" He trailed off, his anger choking him, trying to find the right words.
Hank cut him off before he could continue. "The reason why I am like this is that I messed with my mutation, okay? It DOES need fixing."
Why was he even trying to argue? Alex couldn't understand anyway. He did leave the lab...from time to time. Actually, he did it just yesterday to go and…no. That wasn’t yesterday. His memories trailed off as he was trying to remember. Had he really been down here for so long?
Henry looked back at Alex expecting an annoyed expression, but that didn’t happen. Instead, he only saw the concern on his face and something else…..defeat. As if Alex was expecting his words to just pass by Hank with no effect whatsoever.
His lab was a total mess. Looking around, he realized how much time it would take to set it right again. Hours of work and god, he hated that he should do it. It was then when Hank recognized how exhausted he truly was. Alex was right, he wasn’t sleeping much, living off of black coffee to get him through the day.
“You don’t need to fix yourself, Hank. We are all different and this, Alex gestured at him, “this is your different.”
He could only nod so slightly. Raven had told him the same thing, Erik had said it too, and now Alex. Yeah, the first two weren’t a trusted source, but maybe they were all right. The world wouldn’t accept him now, but it never would have anyway. He had hidden all of his life, scared of being named a freak of nature, but it was just his genes. They were unique, just like Raven’s and Charles’s, and Alex’s.
Hank looked at his furry paws and sighed, Raven’s words repeating themselves in his mind. “This is who you were always meant to be.”
The Beast looked back up at his friend with a tired smile. “Let’s go and get some sleep”.
Upon hearing those words, a similar smile spread over Alex’s face as well. “Come on”.
Both mutants made their way out of the basement and headed to the sleeping quarters. Before heading into his room, Hank turned to Alex, “Thanks.”
“You can always count on me to call you out on your bullshit, Bozo,” The blond replied with a smirk. “Goodnight”.
Hank couldn’t help but chuckle, “Goodnight”.
Henry McCoy fell asleep almost immediately that night. He didn’t visit his lab the next day either. Yes, it was difficult to see his beastly reflection in the mirror every morning, but maybe what was outside mattered more than what was on the outside.