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I burst through the doors of the building and rejoiced in the brisk November air hitting my face. All that writing has made my hand cramp up and turns gray from the lead smearing my fingers. I sling my bag over my shoulders and started for the dorm building across Trost University’s campus. The sun was just starting to set over the mountains and the sky was turning an orange-like color. There were a few clouds off to the east with a dark purple tint, as well. I almost slipped on a pile of fall leaves when I got to the building as well. Heading up the stairs, I couldn’t help grimacing when I thought about the homework I had. Sighing and running my fingers through my sandy hair, I quickened my pace up the stairs.
I had my keys out already when I walked down the hall to my room, a stupid grin plastered across my face. The lights in the hall made the door handle shine in my eyes. When I unlocked it, I managed to dull my grin down to a small smirk as I entered the room.
“Marco?” I called when I didn’t see him. The room was fairly small, with no real place to hide. I just shrugged and threw my bag on my bed as I flopped in my desk chair. It was Friday night and Marco was probably out doing something fun. Even though the two of us were best friends, he probably needs to get away from me sometimes. I don’t really blame him.
I powered up my laptop, opened up a Word document, and started working on my attention-grabber slash cliffhanger for my fictional writing class. I was going to write about a couple- one’s a lawyer and the other’s an investigator for the government. Along the way, the lawyer gets kidnapped so the investigator has to save them. Maybe someday I’ll make it into an actual story. I tapped away at my keyboard, already about a thousand words done when I heard the door open behind me. I almost didn’t notice, I was completely engulfed in my story world until the smell of fresh pizza hit my nose. “Hey Jean,” Marco said behind me.
“Hey,” I replied, my voice sounding way too gruff. I heard more shuffling around and something drop on the floor.
“You alright?” I finally asked, turning around. He’d dropped his bag on the floor and flopped on the bed with his box of pizza next to him.
“I’m going to need some help eating this,” Marco told me, gesturing to the box. I stood up and sat back down on the floor, my head resting on the edge of the bed and my laptop on my lap. I continued typing as I ate my three slices of pizza. Marco sat on the bed laying on his stomach and attempting to look like he’s working on the huge History packet we got this morning.
I could feel him watching me type; words endlessly going onto the screen. Whenever I’d stop to take a breather or pop my knuckles, I’d hear him suck in a quick and sharp breath or clench the sheets until his knuckles turned white.
“Calm down- the painful part isn’t ever here yet,” I told him, preparing my cliffhanger. Marco propped a pillow under him as I continued to type. The part where the lawyer gets kidnapped finally happened; I saved it to my flash drive, and closed my laptop. I turned around to see Marco staring off in complete shock, holding his breath.
“What happens?” he asked shakily, letting out the breath he didn’t know he was holding in.
“I don’t know yet. The assignment’s just a cliffhanger thing. Like a preview, y’know?” I explained.
“I like it,” he says.
“Yeah… me too,” I replied, turning to see a smile stretch across his freckled face. My stomach did a little flip-flop, and I hated those. I turned away quickly before he could see the blush quickly dusting across my face. I looked up at the clock- it was already 11:30 but I wanted to get that History packet out of the way so I won’t have to worry about it last-minute. But I’ll need an energy boost first. I stood up and grabbed my coat.
“I’m going to pull an all-night to work on the History thing so I’m running over to Starbucks real quick. Do you want anything?” I asked, shoving my arms through the sleeves of my old black jacket.
Marco just shook his head. “No thanks Jean. I’m pretty tired already so I may be asleep by the time you get back.” I just shrugged, pushing my beanie over my head and over my ears.
“Alright, later then,” I said fast before somewhat flying through the door a little too aggressively. I made my way across campus, kicking a small pile of autumn leaves on the way. And the entire trip to the coffee shop, I was thinking of Marco. We’ve been room and classmates for the past two years since freshman year, so we were already comfortable being around each other. Well, for him it still is. Anything and everything I do around him has become awkward and embarrassing in my point of view. Probably because I realized that I fell in love with him about two months ago. Isn’t that how it usually is?
The more-than-usual-for-this-time-of-year cold air of Flagstaff helped me clear my thought in a way. I already decided not to do anything. I would try to just maintain friendship between up. I was trying to let this feeling pass by like one of my high school crushes. But it’s taking a pretty long time to pass by.
The warm air of the shop thawed my face when I entered the Starbucks. The place was packed with other students to stay up all night as well. I bought two large vanilla bean coffees and weaved through the crowd to make it back outside.
When I stepped off the sidewalk to cross the street, I felt something wet and cold hit my nose. Rain? I did see the clouds earlier. Stopping as I got to the other side of the street, I tucked one of the cups under my arm and held out my hard. A few drops hit my hand and then melted away. Snow. I looked up to see more of the white drops fall from the sky and down to Earth. I smiled a little bit to myself before continuing to the dorms. My breaths came out in short cloud-like puffs as I walked. It got a lot colder since I got to the Starbucks. The snow started to gather in the cracks of the path, the grove between the sidewalk and street, and in the trees.
I finally made it to the door of my room, still blinking away snow that gathered on my eyelashes. It was already past midnight when I’d finally peeled off my jacket and boots. Marco was out like a light; still fully clothed and not even under the covers. I sighed to myself, taking a long swig of the first coffee I’d half emptied on the way here. I set the cup down before finally taking off my flannel under my white t-shirt. Marco sighed in his sleep and I turned to look at him again to see him shiver slightly.
I quickly downed the rest of the cup before moving over to Marco’s bed. The guy’s a pretty heavy sleeper, so I just… casually slipped his shoes off… and slipped him under the covers like… there. He curled into a ball and gripped the pillow under his head. I smiled, brushing some of the dirty blonde hair out of his eyes before moving back to my own desk. Pencil in one hand, second coffee in the other, I was ready to take down that packet.
I made it up until four in the morning before giving up and resting my head on my desk. Within seconds, I was out for good. I woke back up around ten disorientated and confused. And… on the floor. What..?
“Are you okay?” I looked up to see Marco staring at me wide-eyed over the top of his laptop.
“I-yeah, I think?” I said, standing up. “Did I just fall just now?” I asked. He nodded, and then turned back to his computer screen.
“Scared me half to death,” he continued. I yawned and rubbed the rest of the sleep out of my eyes.
I ate a bowl of cereal and listened to music while Marco surfed on the internet. The rest of the day was spent like that; us being on Facebook and other websites, and he’d find something funny and send it to me. That night, we watched T.V., even though nothing really good was on. So we fell asleep on the floor again. On Sunday, the Xbox was running Mario Kart for us. I’ve played it a thousand times, so I know where all the hard parts are. Marco’s never played it yet, so I get to kick his butt. Playing video games together with the blinds closed and lights off in the middle of the day is totally normal for friends, I swear.
The game was as I remember it to be, and it turns out that I’m not as used to it as I remembered. Marco expected all of the twists and turns and I couldn’t beat him for a few races. But finally in the last one we played, I passed him on the last turn and won, so Marco flopped on the floor with a pillow over his head.
“Alright” I laughed, standing up and turning off the Xbox. The room was pitch black and there was a lump of Marco on the floor and I was tripping over him when I got up.
“Hey, I turned it off, you can get up now,” I told him, trying to pry him off the floor. I kicked the lights on and went back to Marco. I tried to pull him up again because he was starting to scare me and I was thinking he’d died. He finally snapped around to face me, making my arm slide to the side of him and we just stared at each other- just inches away.
“I-uh crap sorry, let me just…” I tried, but my arms would not move. I tilted my neck up to try to distance us, but then he leaned up. I thought he was actually trying to lean up to… Our noses bumped and his lips just barely brushed against mine. Soft and light, barely any pressure at all. His hazel eyes closed and he put a bit more pressure into the kiss. Wait.
No, stop it, Jean.
I pulled away abruptly and got off of him, sort of stumbling away. “I- I didn’t… I’m sorry…” the words died on my lips as soon as I spoke them.
“Jean, it’s okay,” Marco told me, sitting up on the floor.
“I just… I know you’re not- you don’t like me in that way. Yeah, I messed up, sorry I’m just gonna-” I bolted to the door and left him standing in the middle of the room. The air hit me hard and my feet frozen when I made it outside. I hadn’t left the dorms at all since Friday. I stayed in all day yesterday, and now there’s a smooth blanket of snow everywhere. Yesterday was the first of December, wasn’t it? I was freezing- I was in a t-shirt, jeans, and I’d barely been able to grab my wallet and shoes before I ran.
I quickly slipped my shoes on, shoved my hands deep into my pockets, and quickly headed off to who knows where. Anywhere but here. I dug my beanie out of my pocket and tugged it over my ears. This is how I solve my problems; I don’t. I avoid them, I work around them, and I run from them. So what do you do after possibly ruining a friendship? I run because I can be pretty pathetic sometimes. Even if it means possibly freezing to death.
I half-walked, half-ran to the sort of park area with the tall pine tree in the middle of a circle of benches. Out of breath, I brushed the snow off of one of the benches and sat down. I clasped my hands together, head down and took short, quick, ragged breaths. “Jean…” I heard someone say behind me. Crap.
“You okay?” Marco asked, sitting on the bench next to me. I laughed a little when I finally regained myself. Clearing my throat, I finally responded without stuttering, choking, stammering, I actually formed a real sentence.
“I’m really sorry,” he let out a chuckle of amusement then tossed my jacket over my head.
“You’re so pathetic, you know? You didn’t even hear me say anything,” he said.
I looked up at him finally. “Well what did you say then?” I asked. He looked up at the tree, the snow melting slightly to make the pine needles glimmer.
“I must’ve said ‘its fine’ a thousand times, for one. You were freaking out something furious, I kept trying to calm you down. And then…” he explained.
I looked down then up again at him. “’And then’…” I pressed. Marco looked away from the tree and me to try to hide his blush.
“’Don’t leave… just don’t- I like you… don’t leave,” I heard his voice quiver slightly. I bit my lip and looked back down. Then I gathered a pack of snow and threw it at him. It hit him in the back of the head and cling to his sandy hair. He jerked his head back around and I laughed a little.
“I’ve lo-liked you for months now, all worried that I’d make everything awkward and now-?” I laughed harder at his expression.
“Sh-shut up already, you dork!” he chuckled back, blushing from ear to hear.
“Holy- I’ve never seen you so red before! I think I may have broken you, and I’m not a-” I was cut short by Marco grabbing the collar of my shirt and pulling me into another kiss. Firmer this time, but not painful. It had more meaning, more passion. Then. He brought his other hand around from behind his back and dumped a handful of snow on my head.
“Bring it on, Kirschtein!” he taunted, jumping away and packing up another snowball.
“You asked for it, Bodt!” I called back, ducking the snowball flung at my head.
The rest of the afternoon was spent in a vicious snowball fight with Marco. I still didn’t put my jacket back on, but I didn’t freeze to death. I found that I wasn’t affected by the cold anymore. I felt… warm.
I was happy.