Work Text:
Roman sat on the balcony. New Year's. 3 am. They had struggled going to sleep the past few days. Staying awake this early, while their dad and his girlfriend rested in the next room, didn't surprise them.
They knew this would happen. But not like this. Comfort candles were lit on the balcony instead of in the warmth of their bedroom. They refused to put on their pyjamas - having dressed in a completely different outfit than the flashy get up they had for the fireworks. Dress replaced by an oversized hoodie, leggings with jeans that did not fit right.
Eight candles flickered outside and the youth grabbed a beer from the now unoccupied kitchen before locking themselves on the balcony. With a phone in one hand and a beer in the other they finally looked for something nice.
"Here's to 2021." they murmured to no one in particular, assuming their neighbors heard them and would appreciate the sentiment. They didn't do it out of sentimentality - they wanted to drown out their thoughts by downing the beer and listening to songs.
'Home', Cavetown;
'The Village', Wrabel;
'This Little Girl', Cady Groves.
One of these songs wasn't like the others, but despite the tingles of dysphoria it was empowering. Despite hating that name people used for them so so deeply, it gave them some semblance of strength to hear it in a song that didn't demean them for it.
Roman let their mind wander. Dear society, don't underestimate me. You don't know me.
Their breath hitched from the intoxication and they chuckled as 'Dear Society' played next. They hummed along and used their phone to check other songs by Madison Beer.
They chuckled once more when they noticed the irony of the artist's surname and their drink of choice for the night.
This would be a long night. They needed this so badly. They needed so badly to enjoy themselves, so they'd give themselves this good time until all eight candles went out.