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“DAMN IT MAX!” Ash shouted frustrated as he knocked louder at the bathroom door. “It was your idea to go!”
“I know, I know…” he managed to say before a loud regurgitating noise was heard.
“Your stomach is delicate like an old man’s…” the blond commented scrunching his nose, disgusted by the sound.
“I swear that burger had something in it…” he panted.
Ash had barely explained where Frank Sanchez, also known as Frog, had his secret hideout, and how he blackmailed costumers making himself a side business. It was Max’s idea to go to that gay bar and get the pictures, but now he seemed... indisposed to go.
“Sorry Ash, I don’t think I can make it…” Max said on the other side of the door. “Why don’t you call someone from the gang and go anyways? It’s still early”
“No way” he said immediately “I’m not doing it with anyone from the gang”
Ash could hear Max’s stomach being emptied once again.
“Call Eiji then” Max suggested. He could swear that tone was not entirely innocent.
Ash blushed and felt grateful for the door between them. “Are you out of your mind?!” he asked flustered. “I’m not putting him in danger!”
He heard him flush the toilet and then the door opened. Max had dark circles under his eyes and had turned very pale, which didn’t prevent him from teasing Ash.
“Are you telling me you cannot protect him then? Or is it a problem to act as a couple with him?” he raised an eyebrow and managed to smirk.
Ash’s lips turned into a fine line, thinking about a way to answer as he fought the heat creeping into his face.
“I’m pretty sure I saw a worm on your burger. It was moving between the meat” he said instead.
Max’s reaction was instant. He covered his mouth and turned around just in time to throw up again.
“Damn kid…” he muttered as he rinsed his mouth.
***
An hour later, Eiji showed up a block away. He was wearing his black tank top and the same pink and yellow jacket he had worn months ago to go to Chinatown. He had completed the look with a pair of ripped jeans and black sneakers. Apparently, this was his “go-to” outfit when he needed to go incognito.
Ash’s breath hitched at the back of his throat when he saw him. He had considered calling him for over 30 minutes, and he had finally decided to do so against his better judgment. Even if didn’t want to admit it, he needed to prove to Max there was absolutely no problem in doing this with Eiji. He could be a professional too, his feelings aside. He walked towards him quickly, ignoring his thoughts.
“I came as soon as I could” Eiji said with a worried look. “What’s going on?”
Ash hadn’t had the time (or the nerve) to explain to Eiji exactly what they had to do. Why did he think it would be easier to explain it face to face?
“Nice outfit” he said, his nerves slightly calming when he noticed Eiji pout at him. “I need you to help me with something, but it might be dangerous… or, um, uncomfortable. You can say no if you want to”
“Ash, what is it?” Eiji asked again, now truly worried.
“See that club over there?” he asked, pointing at the neon lights which read ‘New World’. “I need to find a man and retrieve some pictures from him. His penthouse is on the second floor…”
“Okay? So?” Eiji nodded, not really getting where he fit into the plan.
Ash swallowed hard. “The first floor is a gay bar… and I need someone to go with… as a couple”
Oh.
OH.
Eiji got it now.
His face flushed a little, but he turned his head around so that it wasn’t so visible. “Oh, I see” he said after clearing his throat.
“You don’t have to do it” Ash said in a rush. “Max was supposed to, but the old man got sick and-“
“I’ll do it” Eiji cut him off.
Ash blinked twice. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, it’s okay. We’ve escaped shootings, jumped into rivers, and defeated death before, right? Getting a couple of pictures shouldn’t be that hard” he smiled.
And Ash smiled too, trying to look reassuring.
“Alright,” he nodded “Here’s the plan: We go inside, get a drink, mix in. If we just go straight for the stairs it’s gonna look suspicious. There’s a hallway after the main area there….” He sighed. “Eiji… this is a gay CLUB, so don’t be surprised by what you see in there, and try not to stare”
Eiji nodded in acknowledgment, but he didn’t really know what he was signing up to. He had never been in a gay club before. Hell, he had never been in a CLUB before. Going out at night was not really his lifestyle back in Japan. He was the type to go to sleep early, taking care of his body for his training.
“Once we make it to the end of the hallway, we’ll take the stairs when the guards are not looking. You wait for me outside the room. I’ll find the guy, get the pictures and we’ll get out of there”
“Got it” he said.
Despite his initial enthusiasm, it was clear that Eiji was still scared. Every time they had to do something like this, Eiji felt his stomach clench and his palm a bit sweaty.
“Okay, let’s go” Ash said with his eyebrows furrowed.
It was already one in the morning, but the weather was good enough to wear just a t-shirt and a jacket. They crossed the street and lined up behind another couple waiting for their turn. At least an hour had gone by since his meal with Max, who had called a taxi and gone home. The place was definitely more crowded at this time of the night.
“Give me your hand” Ash muttered as they approached the door.
Eiji looked up at him and did so. He took his hand and interlaced their fingers together way too tenderly for the place they were about to enter. Ash’s heart threatened to speed up but he kept it under control. He caressed the top of Eiji’s hand with his thumb distractedly as they got closer to the entrance.
“Wanna have fun tonight?” Ash suddenly whispered in Eiji’s ear with a giggle when the guard was right in front of them.
Eiji squeezed his hand lightly, his breath stopping clearly surprised, but then played along. “Please, show me...” he giggled back.
The security guard heard them as he paid attention to a fistfight going on at the end of the line and let them in without even taking a look at their faces.
“We’re in” Ash whispered in a lower-pitched voice.
The place was more than crowded inside. The pink neon lights were not enough to be able to see, but Ash tried to scan the place nevertheless, looking for possible threats or familiar faces. He didn’t recognize any.
Eiji tried not to feel intimidated by the atmosphere. The music was too loud, and the room too dark. He could see several people sitting around the tables, speaking really loudly and leaning in close to be able to follow the conversation. Others were just openly flirting, whispering things that made the other person grin mischievously. There were other men dancing in the middle of the room, hands touching and exploring, and eyes eating each other alive. Eiji swallowed hard.
“Now what?” Eiji asked, trying to ignore the tingling sensation that lingered on his ear after hearing Ash Lynx’s seductive whisper.
“Put your arm around my waist” he instructed. He hooked an arm around Eiji’s neck and walked to the bar, spotting a pair of empty stools.
Eiji didn’t need to be told twice. He lightly dug his fingers on Ash’s side, feeling his side muscles tense up a bit. He wondered if he was tickling him, but he didn’t ask. Being this close to Ash, he could feel his body heat on his left side. Curiously, their bodies naturally fit like that.
“Here, let’s sit down” Ash said. “What can I get you to drink?”
“Uh, rum and coke” he said. He had tried it the first day he met Ash and it was not that bad after all.
After getting their drinks, they sat next to each other in silence. As Ash’s mind was working on how many guards he had counted when they entered, Eiji turned around to take a better look at the place, curious as he was. The atmosphere was making him dizzy. The lights flashed quickly in hues of pink, green, and blue, and people’s movements looked erratic. The scene was chaotic, surreal, disorienting.
Suddenly, as he was squinting his eyes to try and find the hallway Ash had told him about, he accidentally locked eyes with a man in his thirties who had a lascivious look on his face. Eiji jolted in place and quickly turned around, but it was too late. The man had come all the way to the bar and was now standing behind him.
“Hey sweetheart…” the man said spinning him around on the stool. Eiji could smell the alcohol in his mouth and see the yellow on his teeth “Were you looking for me?”
Before he could answer, Ash had turned around and smacked the man’s hands away from Eiji.
“Would you mind getting your hands away from him? He’s with me” he asked in what was heard like a death threat, his green eyes defying him.
The man opened his eyes wide, startled by the sudden movement, but then smiled again full of malice.
“Oh is he? ‘Cause it seems to me he was looking for fun somewhere else” he said as he tried to come even closer.
Ash reacted before he could touch him, and pulled Eiji to stand up from his seat. The blond lightly separated his legs and positioned Eiji between them, one arm closing possessively around his waist and the other going up against his chest, tilting his head to the side. He rested his chin between Eiji’s neck and shoulder.
“I think you haven’t understood,” he said, pressing a soft kiss on the crook of Eiji’s exposed neck and sending a shudder through Eiji's entire body. “He’s with ME”
Just then, Eiji seemed to snap back from the initial shock. He needed to say something, and more than anything, he needed to make the man leave. If they started a fight, the security guards would kick them out.
It was time to show he could act too. He smiled satisfied and tilted his head back, prompting the blond to leave another kiss.
“Please leave us alone…” he said with a tired huff. “You really think I would leave HIM for someone like you? I was just thinking about where to take this later…” he added lifting an arm to run his fingers through the blonde's locks behind him.
The man was clearly humiliated, his face red with the tremendous blow his ego had taken. He muttered something between his teeth and turned around disappearing between the crowd.
“I told you not to stare” Ash whispered in his ear, still holding him in place just in case the other man decided to look back.
“I was just trying to look for the hallway…” Eiji replied. He absolutely adored the darkness of the place right now. He hoped the pink neon lights worked well enough to hide how red his face was. His back was still pressed to Ash’s abdomen, and he could feel each muscle tensing underneath his tank top.
“I know where it is” he said, slowly moving his hand from his chest to his waist, now hugging him from behind. “They are probably not looking at us right now. We should move”
Ash stood up and led Eiji through the sea of people on the dancefloor. He kept him in front of him, between his arms, making sure he had the right angle to punch in the face whoever tried to touch them. They made it to the other side of the room safely, and soon they were right in front of the hallway.
The hallway.
Eiji never expected the hallway to be also full, darker, and this narrow. It had a concrete arc on the entrance which went well with the red bricks from the walls. However, the walls were barely visible with the several couples making out against them, some of them borderline having sex. Eiji froze in place and swallowed hard. Intimidating was no longer the right word to describe it. He felt embarrassed, his cheeks burning flustered. It was not that he was being judgemental or that he disapproved of what these men were doing. They were there just having a good time, some of them a very good time. What made Eiji feel like this was the fact that he was there with Ash. It was impossible with a scene like that not to think about their first kiss again, or about the very palpable tension between them sometimes. Ash noted him tense up and hugged him closer.
“We just need to go through it and then up the stairs. Don’t look at them” he whispered, slightly embarrassed too.
They started walking through the crowd, avoiding the people there as much as possible. There were more pink neon lights in the ceiling, contrasting with the brick wall on both sides. The music was still loud there, although a bit muted when they were halfway through the hall. Just as Ash was feeling relieved to see the back a bit emptier, he saw Frog coming down from the stairs and heading straight into him. He was looking for something in his wallet, so he hadn’t lifted his eyes yet.
On a feline-like reaction, Ash turned around and grabbed Eiji by the shoulders, slamming his back against the wall as delicately as he could. Eiji gasped confused, his breaths coming quicker with the sudden movement. Almost immediately, he felt Ash’s hands sit low on his hips, his warm lips coming back to his neck.
“The fat guy on the right is Frog” he explained. His hot breath left a phantom sensation on Eiji's skin but he didn't move “if he recognizes me, we’re doomed” he said, trying to hide his face.
Eiji nodded, his eyes were wide looking at the concrete ceiling over their heads. He tried to process the information ignoring the heat he was starting to feel again through his body. He needed to be useful; Ash had trusted him in this after all. They could recognize Ash any minute, but to them, Eiji was just another client looking for a hook up on the club. He swallowed hard and hooked his arms around Ash’s neck, pulling him closer to him.
“So?” he mewled “Are you gonna take me somewhere else tonight?” he asked, his voice coming breathy and needy.
Ash could tell Eiji was acting. Of course he knew. It was very obvious to him whenever the other was making something up. However, he still had to fight the thumping on his heart when he heard him talk like that.
He ran his fingers through his sides and grazed his teeth lightly over his neck.
“Of course, we’re barely starting” he answered, slightly sucking on the other’s earlobe.
Eiji rolled his eyes and hit his head against the brick wall. He had never experienced Ash’s seduction tricks firsthand, not for real. Even though he knew it was all pretense, he was emotionally unable to separate his own true feelings for Ash from the situation they were currently in. He felt attracted to Ash, that was something he had had to accept. He felt guilty at the beginning, but soon he discovered it was more than just attraction. He loved Ash. Undeniably. He was willing to defy anyone for the other boy, to shoot a gun, lie, steal, or threaten anyone. Hell, he was sure he would even take a bullet for Ash.
These thoughts were making his mind dizzy as Ash had returned to a sensitive spot on his neck and kept sucking at it. A wave of pleasure washed over him and he dug his fingers on Ash's hair gently. His signature pink and yellow jacket was draping off his shoulder now, his head was still tilted upwards and his heart was hammering on his chest.
He lowered his hands and rested his palms on Ash's ribs. The blonde looked back up and saw Eiji with a question hanging in his eyes.
Frog was finally coming closer, his eyes looking amused at the couples making out on the left as he made his way to the other end. Ash swallowed. He didn’t know if the adrenaline in his body was because of the danger they were in, or because of how close his lips were from Eiji’s. Maybe a mix of both.
Maybe.
Because it was very clear to him that he would remain calm if he was alone. He would just grab any random dude and smash their lips together, and he wouldn’t feel a damn thing. It would be just a means to an end. Then he would just excuse himself to go to the bathroom with a promising smile on his face and disappear.
This was not the case with Eiji though.
For a second, he wondered if Max hadn’t suggested asking Eiji exactly because of this. It was obvious to Max what Ash felt for Eiji, no matter how hard he tried to deny it. To any rule he had ever made for the gang, or for himself, Eiji was the exception.
Right now, he realized he was also breaking his own rule. As he got lost in Eiji’s eyes, he no longer knew how far or how close Frog was. He had lost sense of his surroundings. Were they almost at the end of the hallway or was this still the beginning? Was the music always this muted? Were Eiji’s cheeks naturally red or were the lights making him look blushed?
He didn’t know, and maybe he didn’t care that much at this point. He answered Eiji’s implicit question by licking his lips and closing the distance between them.
The first thing Ash noticed was how his system still remembered how Eiji felt against his lips. His softness and warmth were like nothing he had experienced before, and all these months since that first kiss in jail he had built up a longing he had tried to bury deep inside him. It was now overflowing as he felt Eiji’s hand make its way between his jacket and his shirt, clasping hard at it. He grabbed Eiji by the jaw, carefully but firmly, and tilted his head upwards a bit more.
He almost moaned in surprise when he felt Eiji’s lips parting, inviting Ash to kiss him deeper. Unlike their last kiss, this time Eiji was actively responding. Ash took the opportunity and pressed his body against Eiji’s, exploring and melting into the kiss.
They separated just enough to breathe after a few seconds, both of them panting hard. Eiji held his gaze, trying to say something out loud he didn’t dare to say.
“Eiji…” Ash rasped out.
“Can we pretend?” Eiji asked immediately, almost pained. It was a plea.
And Ash’s heart clenched at the question. The whole thing was about pretending, but that was not what Eiji was saying. There was so much contained in that question that couldn’t be said other way.
Can we pretend we are not pretending? Can we pretend we’re just another careless couple on the club? Can we pretend tomorrow we didn’t kiss like this and we actually meant it?
Ash felt a new type of rush run through his body. This was the confession he had only dreamt of hearing from Eiji's lips. Eiji was enjoying this, and Eiji was asking him to indulge for just a moment. If they had to do it anyways, then it was better to just let their feelings take the wheel.
He gave up.
He forgot about what they were supposed to be doing and kissed him hungrily this time, wet and hot. He let his actions take control, trying to transmit into that kiss how strongly he felt about him, how desperate he was to know his feelings were reciprocated. He pulled him closer from the back of his neck as the other arm pressed him firmly against his body.
Eiji felt lightheaded. He was sure he had passed out at some point tonight and was merely hallucinating the whole kiss. But then again, there was no way his brain could come up with the way Ash’s hands were holding his head, his side, his whole being. His knees were becoming so weak that he had to rely on the wall behind him not to fall. This was real. He was sure. Ash’s lips were moving desperate and erratic on their own. It was not a trained and mechanic kiss he could use with anyone.
Ash cut his strain of thought when he ran his fingers through his head, pulling his hair lightly to gain access to his collarbone. He sucked at the skin harder than Eiji expected and let out a moan that got his ears red after hearing himself.
Ash looked up at him half-surprised, half amused.
“Shut up” Eiji muttered embarrassed before Ash had the chance to tease him.
“I haven’t said a word” he whispered in his ear.
“Ash…”
His name was like a slap back to where they were and what they were doing. He blinked twice trying to focus his eyes and discreetly looked around. Frog was at the entrance of the hallway talking to someone he didn’t know, laughing at something he couldn’t hear either. Be breathed relieved and he turned to look back at Eiji.
“Remember we’re still undercover” he brushed his right thumb over his cheek “Don’t call my name” he added softly.
Eiji nodded ashamed and tried to get his mindset for the mission, but it was no longer possible. Not after the kiss he had been longing deeply.
“Frog’s coming back,” Ash said as he watched the man turn around and make his way through the narrow corridor. “Can I kiss you once more?” he asked, now a bit more relaxed than before, smiling.
“Please”
And Ash kissed him again, taking his breath away. His hands slid up under his black tank top and he nuzzled a leg between his, pinning him against the wall.
“Oh God…” Eiji hummed when he felt the heat of Ash’s hips rock against him. He was drowning in waves of pleasure and there was no better way to die.
Frog passed them by without even giving them a look. By now, they had blended in perfectly with the other random couples. For a moment, they were just a couple relishing each other’s sounds, reactions, looks, and touches.
Ash was far gone. His brain had decided to take a break and had left his pent-up feelings in charge. With his eyes closed, he was not even aware of his own actions. He was completely driven by desire, his only certainty being that Eiji was the one kissing him back willingly. He loved this boy. He loved Eiji so deeply that his heart ached. The sounds he was getting out of Eiji were like gasoline for the fire building on his lower abdomen. In the distance, he heard himself breathing with difficulty and Eiji’s trembling hand tapping on his shoulder. He forced himself to open his eyes and he saw a very disheveled Eiji looking up at him. His lips were swollen and red, his hair was a mess, and his jacket was barely on.
“What is it?” he panted. GOD he wanted to kiss him again. And again. And again.
Eiji was panting too, faced completely flushed. He radiated heat at this point. “F-Frog” he said.
Why Eiji was mentioning an amphibian was a mystery to Ash’s love drunken mind.
“He already went up the stairs” Eiji added.
Right. THAT Frog.
They both stayed with their foreheads pressed, waiting for their breathing to come back to normal (and the rest of their bodies too). Ash smiled almost timidly as he reluctantly separated from Eiji’s body.
“Alright… let’s go” he said after taking a deep breath, turning around ready to leave.
Eiji bit his lip, unsure about what he was about to do, but pulled Ash by his sleeve and led him back to the brick wall. Ash blinked in confusion as he felt the cold on his back now and Eiji’s hands holding his face. A pair of brown eyes watched him tenderly, and he closed his eyes as he saw the other boy coming closer.
He was met with a sweet kiss this time. It was not the type of heat that had been building upon his lower belly, but the type of warmth that slowly spreads on your chest until it fills it up completely.
It was love.
He could tell by the way Eiji’s fingers had found their way to his head and lightly stroked his scalp. He could tell by the way he was being held; like the most precious human being in the world. Ash could describe himself as many things, but precious was not one of them. Eiji, however, never failed to make him feel like that. Never failed to make him feel like just a boy in love.
He wrapped his arms around him and embraced him tightly. This was everything he needed.
Eiji separated a moment later, smiling almost shyly. “Okay… let’s go”
And they turned around to complete their mission.
----------------------------------------
An hour later, they were underneath a bridge near the club handing Steven the pictures they had successfully retrieved. To his surprise, Max was next to Steve, waiting for him with a blanket over his shoulders. He still looked pale with dark circles under his eyes, but at least he was not throwing up.
Getting the pictures had been hard. Some dark memories almost made him pull the trigger, but Eiji’s presence on the other side of the door was enough to make him snap back to reality. They had to get out of there as soon as possible.
“Feeling better, old man?” Ash asked him with a smirk.
Max looked at him, and then looked at Eiji.
At Eiji’s neck, to be precise.
“Yeah, but not as good as you two apparently” Max countered back.
Ash opened and closed his mouth, out of words. Eiji blushed and zipped his jacket up.
Max smiled sincerely now. He was happy for Ash and Eiji. They deserved to be happy more than anyone he knew. He let out a satisfied breath and took the file containing Ash’s pictures, taking his lighter out of his pocket.
“Forget everything…” he said as the flame burned the file and its content. “You don’t have to be controlled by this anymore”
Ash watched it burn in front of his eyes, almost as if it was a mirage. His heart felt lighter as the wind carried the ashes far away from him. The feeling intensified as a familiar hand grabbed his, trying to transmit his love once more. He turned around and smiled softly.
“We’re leaving then,” he said “take care, Max”
“Take care too” he waved them goodbye.
Ash and Eiji walked away. It was about four in the morning right now, but they were not sleepy.
“Eiji” Ash called him. He had stopped in the middle of an empty street.
“Hm?” the other turned around.
“About your question…” he started, his green eyes intensifying “my answer is no”
Eiji felt his blood turn cold at the sudden change in his voice. “What do you mean? What question?”
“You asked me if I could pretend” he reminded him. “I cannot. I cannot pretend it didn’t happen or pretend we were pretending” he said.
Eiji’s blood pumped life back into his body at the words and he smiled. “I’m glad... because I cannot either”
Ash smiled back and hugged him tightly against his chest. This time, there were only stars when they looked up.
And they seemed to be smiling down at them too.