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The house was quieter than usual. That was only to be expected, when one of its loudest occupants had kind of temporarily moved out earlier, but even so, it felt bizarre. Alien. Shuichi hadn’t anticipated feeling quite so lonely.
He glanced at his phone, laying silent on his bedside table. It would be so easy to grab it and send Kaito a text, see how things were going with his grandparents and if his trip had gone okay. It’d just be doing his duty as his sidekick. But Kaito only left a few hours ago, and it wouldn’t do to seem needy already. This reunion time with his family (his real family, both in the sense of not being implanted memories and in the sense of being blood) was long overdue. Shuichi being all lonely and mopey would make him come running back immediately, and he didn’t want to be the cause of that.
Instead, he consulted his bookcase, eyes skimming over the titles in search of something new to read. A good novel sounded like just what he needed right now.
He plucked one from the shelf, a new mystery novel about an underground gambling ring. Sometimes people were surprised that he still liked reading about detectives and murder after what he’d been through on Danganronpa. Shouldn’t he want to avoid any reminders of that part of his life? Sometimes he asked himself that too. There were days when it was too much, and he had to set aside whatever he was reading for a while, but he always came back to it. Maybe it was a matter of simply not wanting the memories to win. He wouldn’t let Team Danganronpa steal his hobbies from him.
They were all struggling with things in their own way. It had been over a year, but growth and healing took time. Shuichi doubted he’d ever be able to go through one of these books without thinking about the killing game at all, but the thoughts came less often than they used to, and that counted for something.
Growth was also the reason Kaito left, and he was proud of him for it. Everyone came and went, some more than others, but hardly anyone had made a true attempt at reconnecting with their real-life relatives. It was a big step, a brave one. And more than that, it was important to Kaito, so it was Shuichi’s job to support him, no matter how anxious he might feel about the change.
It was just for a month or two, and it wasn’t like they wouldn’t talk. They just wouldn’t be living under the same roof. That was all. It wasn’t even like Shuichi was living alone now. As he shuffled back to bed with his book, he could hear the muffled sounds of voices and ambient noise from downstairs. Kirumi puttering around in the kitchen, maybe, or Ryoma playing with one of the cats. Homey noises.
He adjusted a couple of his pillows, propped them behind his back so he could lean against the headboard, light shining on the open pages of the book in his lap.
It was a big, sprawling house, though not as big as one might expect upon hearing exactly how many people it was home to. The actual number fluctuated. Everyone had spent at least some time there, though not all at the same time, and some more than others. People traveled and came back, moved out and then decided they weren’t ready, got together and broke up. Rooms traded hands often enough that sometimes Shuichi could hardly keep up. At some point, the chaos had grown comforting.
Right now, there were eight, counting himself. It sounded like a lot, but didn’t feel like it when it had been nine that morning.
Pushing Kaito out of his head for the millionth time, Shuichi turned the page and resolved to get through at least one full chapter before getting lost in his daydreams again. He had to be extra vigilant to avoid getting into a slump.
However, he only got through about two more pages before he heard the soft sound of approaching footsteps. He’d left his door ajar, a sign that it was fine for people to enter, and sure enough, it creaked open a few seconds later. Shuichi glanced up, meeting Himiko’s soft brown eyes.
“Hey, Shuichi,” she murmured, wandering in and depositing herself on the bed beside him. “Not getting lonely already, are you?” Her coming into his room wasn’t an uncommon occurrence. In the early days, she was scared to be alone. Now, it was just nice to hang out. He slipped a bookmark into his book, but didn’t close it just yet, offering her a faint smile.
“I’m alright,” he said. “Thanks though, for checking on me.”
“Of course. I had to make sure you didn’t need me to cast any special spells for you. I even saved up some extra mana, just in case.” Himiko wriggled a little closer and laid her head on his shoulder. Her hair tickled his cheek. Shuichi chuckled softly, wrapping an arm around her.
“How thoughtful. I’ll be sure to let you know if I need it.” He had a feeling that wasn’t the only reason she came though. “What about you, Himiko? Are you feeling lonely?”
She huffed softly, and he knew without needing to look over that there was a pouty expression on her face now. She wasn’t genuinely bothered by the question though — it was evident in the way she was actually mulling it over instead of refuting it right away.
“Maybe a little,” she mumbled. “It’s not like that’s the only reason I came in here though; don’t make it sound like I’m that selfish. I really did want to check on you.”
“Don’t worry, I know. Besides, I don’t mind keeping you company when you need it. It’s been a while since we’ve had a nighttime chat like this, huh?” Shuichi was no longer the first person she went to for that kind of thing, and hadn't been in quite some time. Looking back on it now, it was hard to believe he ever was. Not in a bad way. They were still close friends. It was surreal not because of any bad blood between them, but because her blossoming relationship was so successful.
“Yeah, I guess it has.” With a chuckle, Himiko pulled back just enough to meet his eyes. “You’re still my pretend boyfriend though, right?” It was an inside joke dating back to those agonizing first few months. Tabloids tried to claim he was dating all the girls in their group at various points, sometimes more than one at the same time. Not a single one of the allegations was true, of course, but that didn’t stop them. Himiko and Maki were some of the most heavily affected, thanks to their bond as survivors. Joking about it had become a way of dealing with the ridiculousness.
“I don’t know,” he joked right back. “I don’t want Korekiyo getting mad at me if I say yes.” Honestly, it still felt a little strange even referring to Korekiyo by their given name. Of those currently living in the house, they were definitely one of the ones Shuichi was least close to. Himiko just gave an amused snort in response, laying her head back down on his shoulder.
“Nah. Kiyo-chan knows I’d never want to date you for real. You’re just for cuddling with when they’re busy.”
“I almost feel like I should be offended by how obvious you make it sound.” He laughed all the same though, finally closing his book and setting it aside.
“I know you’d never want to date me either though. You’d much rather date Kaito.” Himiko dragged out the name for several syllables longer than necessary, a lazy, singsong tone to her voice.
“I...that’s...” He couldn’t exactly say she was wrong. “I’d rather not talk about Kaito tonight,” he settled on instead.
“...Right. Sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it. I’ve just been trying to keep my mind off him leaving, is all.” Trying and failing, not that Himiko needed to know that part. Running his fingers through her hair, he searched his brain for something to use as a change of subject. “Korekiyo isn't home yet, I take it?”
“Nope. Still at the library.”
Shuichi frowned, casting a quick glance at the alarm clock on his nightstand. The numbers glowing back at him read 9:30. That was about what he thought.
“Isn’t the library closed by now?”
“Yep.” Himiko sighed — the beleaguered sort of sigh that came with having faced a particular situation one too many times. There was a hint of amusement behind it too, and no tension in her frame as she leaned against him. “Sometimes they hide away in a corner somewhere and nobody notices in the process of closing up. They had to climb out a window last time.”
“Wait, this has happened before? How have I never heard about it?”
“I dunno,” she said, laughing. “I guess it’s just never come up around you? And you don’t really gossip or anything without someone else initiating it, so...”
“I suppose you’re right. Still, I’m a little surprised. They’re lucky — if someone saw them sneaking out a library window, it’d be all over the internet.” That was how it always was. The world was desperate for any scrap of Danganronpa gossip, no matter how inconsequential.
“That’s what I keep saying.” Just then, there was the faint buzz of a phone vibrating. Himiko fished it out of her pocket, rolling her eyes when she got a look at whatever the notification was. She showed him the screen, too quick for him to actually read anything, then started typing.
“Right on time,” she said. Then, clearing her throat, she began to read what could only be a text from Korekiyo. “Yes, I’m on my way now. The library was locked with me inside again. This time I seem to have inadvertently set off an alarm while trying to get out. Fled the scene without incident, be home soon.” As she read, her voice shifted from her usual lazy drawl to better match the cadence of her partner. Shuichi wondered if it was a conscious decision to imitate them or if they were just that much in tune with each other.
It reminded him of the way he was able to speak more confidently after getting close to Kaito, the way he found himself using words like ‘sidekick’ and invoking his catchphrases with no hint of shame or irony. It was so difficult not to pick up his own phone.
As he kept doing his best to make idle conversation with Himiko instead of just stewing in his own thoughts, the temptation still remained. He was ashamed of feeling so abandoned. It wasn’t like Kaito had left forever or stopped being his friend or anything. He just wasn’t living in the same house for now. Yet, telling himself how ridiculous it was to be upset didn’t actually do anything to make the feeling go away.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Himiko said as their chat reached another lull. “I don’t think there’d be anything wrong with just checking in and seeing how the trip was.”
He sighed. He knew he was probably making this harder than it had to be, overthinking and overcomplicating things with his anxiety, but stopping those patterns was easier said than done, especially once they’d already had a chance to get started.
“You’re probably right. I just...” Shuichi didn’t have a chance to finish his sentence. His door, which Himiko had left open just a crack, the way it was before she entered, was flung open so hard that the doorknob collided violently with the wall behind it. They both flinched, gazes moving as one to find out who the culprit was.
“Shumai! My beloved! I haven’t seen you all day!” Kokichi barged into the room at a run, leaving the door wide open behind him and not bothering to inspect the scuff he’d left on the wall. Innocent glee in his eyes — that just had to be fake, right? — he threw himself onto the bed. Both Shuichi and Himiko drew their legs up fast to avoid being landed on, Himiko sighing in frustration as she did.
“Kokichi, what are you doing? And isn’t Rantaro your beloved?” he asked pointedly.
“It’s obvious what he’s doing,” Himiko replied. “He’s being an obnoxious little gremlin like always.” The gremlin in question was curling up at the foot of the bed almost like a cat, peering up at them both. Himiko prodded him gently with a socked foot, miming an attempt to kick him off the bed. Kokichi, of course, just pouted, whining.
“Himiko-chan, you’re so mean! I’m never obnoxious, you homophobe. And besides, I can have two beloveds if I want to.”
“I’m gay too, stupid. How is calling you annoying homophobic?”
“You know how. Face up to your crimes, or you won’t be my favorite lesbian anymore.” Kokichi’s eyes glistened with unshed tears, his lower lip trembling theatrically.
“Was I ever even your favorite to begin with?” She was, actually. Shuichi knew that much from witnessing their antics. With time and distance from the killing game, Himiko and Kokichi were actually pretty decent friends, even though Kokichi still often acted like a brat and Himiko pretended to be annoyed by him. And as he watched, Shuichi knew what he was trying to do at the moment too. Distract him from Kaito, just like Himiko was.
“C’mon, guys. If you’re going to invade my bed, you have to get along,” he said fondly, before either of them could notice how long he’d been quiet. Kokichi wiped the crocodile tears from his eyes. Himiko settled more comfortably against the pillows. The two of them shared a smile that was likely meant to be secret, but Shuichi hadn’t been the Ultimate Detective for nothing. His heart was so warm and full of affection for his friends that he almost feared he’d be the one tearing up next.
“Much better. Is everyone else home for the night?” he asked Kokichi, before anyone could get a chance to steer the topic of conversation towards something too personal. He launched into an account of everyone’s whereabouts, just as Shuichi was hoping. That was bound to last for a while, with how fond Kokichi was of getting into everyone else’s business.
Midway through being regaled with a blow-by-blow account of the errands Rantaro had been running earlier — in far more detail than anyone else’s activities, thanks to Kokichi’s love of bragging about his boyfriend — Shuichi heard the soft sound of footsteps in the hallway. Himiko, on the side of the bed closer to the door, craned her neck to look, and the way her face lit up was unmistakable.
“In here!” she called, interrupting the description of how hot Rantaro apparently looked when choosing fruit at the grocery store. Kokichi immediately stopped with a huff, glaring up at her.
“I was talking, you know.”
“And I was listening. I looked away for half a second, calm down. Besides, you’ll have a bigger audience now. Isn’t that what you want?”
So quiet that Shuichi wouldn’t have noticed their entrance had he not been looking in that direction, Korekiyo entered the room. Unlike either Himiko’s comfortable familiarity or Kokichi’s presumptuous habit of assuming he was welcome anywhere he pleased, Korekiyo just lingered in the doorway, fiddling nervously with a lock of hair. Now that he really thought about it, Shuichi wasn’t sure they’d ever been in his room.
“May I join you?” they asked in a hushed tone, looking to him for approval. Himiko, of course, was already motioning them over, but they wanted his permission. Shuichi could appreciate that, though it made him acutely aware of how much he’d neglected trying to get to know them better.
“Of course. Himiko tells me you’ve had...quite the evening.”
Korekiyo chuckled at that, eyes sparkling with mirth.
“Yes, I do seem to have a habit of getting into troublesome situations. I’m rather talented at avoiding the police though, not to worry,” they said as they crept farther into the room. Perhaps noticing his conflicted expression, they added, “That was a joke. Mostly. You can laugh.”
“Heh, right. Sorry.” Korekiyo was no longer looking at him though, their eyes sweeping up and down the bed as if figuring out where they might have room to settle down. Shuichi and Himiko were sitting side by side, with Kokichi sprawled out horizontally below them. Adding a fourth person might be difficult, especially one so tall, but before Shuichi could try to propose a solution, Himiko was getting up.
Before he knew it, Korekiyo had taken her place next to him, uttering a quiet apology when their arm accidentally brushed against his.
“It’s okay,” Shuichi said, trying to sound reassuring. “Don’t worry about it.”
Himiko settled on their lap, whispering something inaudible before pressing a few chaste kisses to their masked face. It made Shuichi’s face flush, and he looked away, feeling like he was witnessing something he shouldn’t despite its innocence. Kokichi, however, had no such qualms.
“Ew,” he whined dramatically. “No PDA in my family-friendly story hour. Is everyone done interrupting me already?” He’d wriggled closer to Shuichi’s side of the bed to let Korekiyo stretch their legs out though, so clearly he wasn’t too upset.
In return, they flicked up one bony middle finger at him behind Himiko’s back, a gesture unexpected enough from them to make Shuichi choke back a snicker. Kokichi gasped, clutching a hand to his chest as if he’d been mortally wounded.
“Kiyo said a bad word,” he wailed, violet eyes wide. “They’re bullying me.”
“They didn’t say anything though,” Himiko said, giggling.
“Indeed. It was a profane gesture, not really a ‘bad word.’”
“Whatever! It was still bullying. Let me finish my story already.”
“It’s not even an interesting story though, you’re just telling us literally everything your boyfriend did today.” Himiko again, hand still caressing Korekiyo’s cheek even as she turned her head to look at Kokichi. “I feel like I’m stalking Rantaro by proxy.”
“Go ahead, Kokichi,” he said finally, deciding to take mercy on him. “I’m listening.” The others were clearly prepared to as well, despite their teasing. After a long moment of deliberation, suspiciously eyeing each of them in turn, he finally picked up where he left off. As promised, Shuichi listened.
It was chaotic, crazy, and maybe even a little awkward at times — having three other people on his bed when he’d planned on a quiet night of reading alone. The kind of thing that would have been well out of his comfort zone just a year ago. Now, Shuichi didn’t know how he’d live without this kind of home life. Weird as they all were in their own ways, this was his family.
It wasn’t until he got a goodnight text from Kaito a couple of hours later that he realized he’d gone so long without brooding over him. The house wasn’t the same without him, couldn’t be, but it didn’t have to be lonely if he didn’t want it to be. Maybe the month would go by easier than he thought.