Chapter Text
"Where were you all afternoon, anyways, my dear? I thought your mandatory piece of jewellery meant you couldn't leave the house for a while," Ezra remarked, looking up from his book to peer at Crowley.
Crowley rolled his eyes. "I can't leave without clearing it with my parole officer, angel. So I cleared it with her and she escorted me. It's really not that complicated."
The piece of jewellery mentioned, an ankle monitor, had nearly gotten them into quite a lot of trouble when they had decided on a spontaneous picnic in St. James' Park and the police had arrived, crashing the family's pleasant lunch and almost placing Crowley under arrest before Ezra had managed to convince them to handle this rationally. In the end, they had simply had a visit from Crowley's PO who irritably re-explained what house arrest was.
"But where were you , Crowley?" Ezra asked, smiling over the top of his book. "You haven't answered my question."
"Oh, just getting lectured by my doctor on the fact that my medications are only effective if I remember to take them, among other things," Crowley said, a bit of a grin twisting his face. "Funny how that is."
He didn't give any other clues than that, continued scrolling on his phone as though nothing was amis.
"Which medication did you forget to take, Crowley?" Ezra asked, raising an eyebrow.
Crowley had a variety of pills he was meant to take daily for his rather serious medical condition. He didn't have a spleen, or thus most of an immune system, and had to constantly be taking supplements and other such things.
And he was infuriatingly nonchalant about it.
"All of it, obviously, it’s not like I remembered half and forgot the other half," Crowley replied.
"And what was 'among other things?'" Ezra asked, frowning.
"Scheduling an ultrasound to have a look at what's been making me feel so bloated," Crowley replied, "apparently it's not only tapeworms that will do that to you."
He stopped and seemed to be waiting to see Ezra's reaction, gazing at him fondly as he waited for his words to sink in.
It took a moment for Ezra's eyes to light up from behind his spectacles. He set his book down entirely, and now Crowley knew he had his husband's full attention. "Anthony... are you implying… what are you trying to tell me, don't you dare tease, there's a hundred reasons why you might be bloated and hungry and sick-"
"You know how you were just remarking the other day that besides the free jewellery the police gave me we've finally handled everything we had to handle? We're past all the drama and can just settle down and relax and raise Adam and Warlock?" Crowley asked, a smile playing on his lips.
Ezra, who looked about ready to burst with excitement, having clued in that yes, there were a hundred reasons, but only one Crowley would be excited to tell him, let Crowley continue to play his game. "Yes?"
Crowley was silent for a moment, enjoying the ecstatic look on Ezra's face for the possibility he didn't dare voice.
"How well does a baby fit into that plan?" He asked finally.
"Anthony!" Ezra squealed, jumping from his seat and pulling Crowley into a hug. "You mean it? We're having a baby?" He asked, staring at his husband in amazement.
"Well, specifically I'm the one having it, you get to stand and watch and be supportive, but yes, we're having a baby," Crowley laughed, cut off abruptly by a gasp as Ezra lifted him off the couch and spun him around.
"Crowley that's wonderful! I assume you find it wonderful too if you're surprising me with it, I know this was an accident but-"
"Yes angel, I'm excited as well," Crowley promised, "I wouldn't have played it up if I wasn't."
Ezra's grin got even wider, if that were possible. He pecked a kiss on Crowley's lips, who immediately went back in for another one. "Kiss me like you mean it, Ezra, we're having a baby!"
"How long?"
"We've got about eight months to go."
Ezra let out another elated squeal. "Can I- can I feel?"
Crowley nodded obligingly, lifted up his black t-shirt. "There's not really much there, Ezra," he warned, but took Ezra's hand in both of his and pressed it up against what little bit of a bump there was.
Ezra beamed. "And you just found out today?"
Crowley nodded. "First one I told," he promised, "explains why my skirt was fitting weird for the wedding, though."
"And the fact that you've actually been hungry lately," Ezra agreed. He kept his hand still pressed up against Crowley's belly, as though he thought the firm little swell was going to disappear if he moved.
Crowley didn't mind in the slightest. He leaned in further to the arm Ezra still had around him, clung tightly to his husband. "Congratulations, dad," he murmured.
Crowley really did think that if Ezra got any more excited, he would explode. "We should tell Warlock and Adam," he decided, "they'll be thrilled!" Ezra laughed and kissed him again. Crowley had almost forgotten he was being held up.
Crowley smiled. "Well then come on, Angel, let's go find them and let them know they'll still be sharing that room even if we get the second one made."
"Crowley… have you ever considered leaving Soho?" Ezra asked suddenly, as they walked towards the spiral staircase. He had shifted a little, but his hand still rested on Crowley's stomach, and Crowley placed a hand over his.
"One thing at a time, Ezra, let's get the baby delivered and settled in and then I will gladly talk moves with you," Crowley laughed, leading Ezra up the stairs to the boy's room. “I will absolutely consider leaving Soho, I assume for somewhere out of the city, you country bumpkin, but after this stress is over. I’m not packing up the entire flat while I’m pregnant, absolutely not.”
“You’re pregnant?” Adam repeated, poking his head out of his and Warlock’s shared room.
Crowley and Ezra exchanged a look. “Well, I guess that counts as telling them, there’s no way Warlock didn’t hear that,” Crowley remarked, laughing.
He turned up the stairs to where Adam and now Warlock were standing in their doorway. “How do you two feel about being big brothers?”
It had been obviously, lately, the strained relationship between Warlock and Crowley. Crowley didn’t put up a second of fuss about it, of course, he was in no position to do so.
Fixing what had been wrecked was simply going to take time, and Crowley had to let it happen at Warlock’s pace.
And things waxed and waned. Before the wedding, things had seemed almost back to normal, but Delilah bringing Warlock back to America for a visit had, rather expectantly, opened old wounds.
The tension between almost-father and son didn’t stop both boys from running over and pulling both of their parents into a hug. “You mean it?”
“No, I’m pulling your leg. Of course I mean it, Adam,” Crowley replied, “I’ve got to live with the little tapeworm for the next eight months, why would I joke about it?”
“Anthony, it’s not a tapeworm! It’s a baby!” Ezra protested, seeming indignant.
“I did a biology class or two while I was in school, it’s basically a parasite,” Crowley said, smirking, “besides, I think that’s a cute nickname.”
“Tapeworm? You think tapeworm is a cute nickname for a new baby?” Ezra asked, seeming appalled, “I can understand avoiding actual names for a while but tapeworm is a little harsh, dear.”
“I like it,” Crowley decided, mostly enjoying how it bothered Ezra. “I think it’s going to stick around. Tapeworm. Betcha I could think of some other parasites to name it after, if you don’t like tapeworm. Schistosomiasis, trematode-"
“You’re absolutely impossible, Crowley,” Ezra groaned, “I was thinking bambino or something like that, I certainly wasn’t expecting you to go right for parasites. I’m not sure I like this referring to our baby as a parasite.”
“Not ten minutes ago you didn’t even know to have expectations, Ezra, you don’t get to complain about me not meeting them now,” Crowley retorted. Ezra snorted.
“Well, I would suggest we go out to dinner to celebrate, but I think we all learned last time what happens when you go somewhere that you aren’t supposed to, dear, so we’d best just order in instead,” Ezra decided. Crowley smirked, kissed his husband's cheek.
“PO was pretty clear I was lucky not to be in prison and needed to take this house arrest thing more seriously, so I can agree with that. I’ve still got about another year with my police-enforced anklet, then I'll take you out to dinner as often as you like. Every night, if you want."
“More if you keep breaking the rules about it,” Ezra added, “what does everyone feel like eating?”
“Lasagna!”
“Pizza!”
“I was going to suggest crepes, angel,” Crowley said, laughing.
Ezra tried to think of a restaurant that would manage all of those things, finally shrugged and shook his head. "Well, you're the pregnant one, Crowley, you get the final say. Crepes it is!"
Seeing as how Adam and Warlock immediately started shouting out which crepes they wanted, it wasn't an unpopular dinner choice.
Ezra didn't really care if it was, though. He was always happy with crepes, and if that was what Crowley wanted, that was what they would have.
Crowley was not entirely ready to fall into the role of 'pregnant husband' for Ezra, but thankfully his husband seemed to know not to get too carried away just yet.
Truely, Crowley hadn't known. Just like he hadn't known a human gestational period was ten months, and he'd already been pregnant for two. Thankfully, he and Ezra had enjoyed a dry honeymoon as well as wedding, due in large part to Crowley not feeling well - that would have been morning sickness, come to think of it - but it was still a shock.
But he was happy. More than happy. He had practically fallen off the examination table when his doctor had told him the news, although that wasn't all excitement.
Sure, he'd known it was possible. But after invasive surgery and the years of various drugs, as well as other medications known to affect fertility and the fact that he wasn't exactly in the prime time for pregnancy, he hadn't been expecting it.
Crowley was excited, but primarily he was still shocked.
He had gotten a lot of things in life that he had believed he had given up when he got in with the gang. He thought he had given up getting married, given up the typical idea of starting a family. He had Adam and Warlock now, and was married to Ezra, who he could barely agreed had said yes, and now he was going to have a baby.
It was all just a tad bit overwhelming. While Ezra took crepe orders, Crowley just stood beside him, head leaned against Ezra's shoulder, smiling, but a little out of it.
"And what shall we order for you?"
Crowley blinked, but didn't reply. He barely even heard Ezra.
Ezra frowned. "Boys, can you just step back into your room for a moment?" He asked.
Both boys stepped back into Adam's room and closed the door.
"Crowley are you sure you're alright?" Ezra asked, moving his hand from where he had it settled on his stomach to gently touch Crowley's shoulder.
Crowley blinked again. "Pardon?"
Ezra smiled softly. "Crowley, you don't quite seem alright. You know you can tell me anything. And it's alright if you're… if you're not as excited as-"
"I'm excited, Ezra," Crowley promised, leaned in and kissed his cheek. "I really am. I'm just a little… it's a lot, all of the sudden. I really wasn't expecting it. But I am excited, don't worry. I don't know if I should say this to you, but if I wasn't capable of dealing with this I would have… I… I wouldn't have told you."
"Crowley, it's your body and your choice. You don't need to worry that a decision you made would have upset me. I'm glad this is something you're excited about too, and it's okay if it's a lot for you right now, we weren't planning on this at all. But… I suppose we have eight months to prepare ourselves, and you don't have to be entirely okay with this just yet. Let's go sit down, order some dinner and we can just relax together. Nothing has to change just yet."
Crowley smiled. "That sounds lovely, angel, thank you."
Ezra walked Crowley over to the couch, help him settle into the cushions, finally got a crepe order out of him and placed the take-out order.
Then he came and settled down beside Crowley, wrapped his arms around his shoulders. "Nothing has to change until you're ready for it, Crowley. We're two months pregnant, life doesn't change just yet. We have a long time to settle into this."
Crowley nodded. "I promise I'm excited, Ezra, I really am. I'm thrilled to be having a baby with you. It's just… it's just a big surprise and I need to get used to it for a moment."
Ezra nodded. “Of course, darling. Take all the time you need, we’re in no rush.”
“Well, we sort of are, the ultrasound is scheduled for next week. We’re not really going to be able to see much, but they want to have a look in on the baby,” Crowley explained, “I think the first thing we need to decide is whether or not we want the sex to be a surprise. They won’t be able to tell us next week, but they will soon.”
Ezra thought about it. “I’m really not sure I can wait eight months to find out, Crowley,” he admitted, smiling and kissing his husband’s hair. “I mean, obviously it doesn’t mean nearly as much as people act like it does, and I don’t think we need to have a reveal party or anything like that, but I don’t think I can wait to find out, I want to know. That and I’m abysmal with names, and I think Dog is living proof that Adam is no better, so I’m going to need time if I’m going to help us pick one.”
“Of course you’re going to help pick one, Ezra, I’m not going to name them all by myself,” Crowley replied, “they’re our baby.”
Ezra’s arms tightened around Crowley’s waist. “I know you need some time, but you can keep saying that as much as you like, I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing you talk about our baby,” he murmured.
Crowley could certainly agree with that idea. He was excited to say the words, too. “I have a feeling you’re going to spoil the living hell out of our baby.”
"I'm sure if we compare Warlock's care to Adam's, you're the one who spoils our children,” Ezra retorted, and Crowley did have to admit he was right. “You know, you’re going to have to take care of me,” he said, smirking at his husband.
“More than I should really need to, I would imagine,” Ezra agreed, “you’re going to milk this for all it’s worth and I’m going to let you because you’re pregnant and what am I supposed to do?”
“I’m not that bad, Ezra, but if you’re going to make jokes, I certainly could be,” Crowley mused, tipping his head up to look at Ezra from where he was rested against his husband’s chest. “Could make a right nuisance of myself. Course, with my luck I’d end up on bedrest or something like that and have to be doted on and you’ll already be sick of doting on me.”
Ezra shook his head. “I’ll never get tired of doting on you, Crowley. Never in all my life,” he promised.
“I’ll hold you to that, Ezra,” Crowley warned.
“I know you will, dearest. I’m expecting you to,” Ezra assured him, “now you just sit here and relax until the food gets here. I guess this also explains why you’re so tired all the time.”
“M’not tired ,” Crowley corrected, rolling over on the couch and nestling into Ezra’s shirt with his arms pulled around his husband. “Just tell you I am so you’ll stay in bed with me.”
“If you want cuddles, Crowley, all you have to do is ask.”
“No one said anything about cuddles! I just like to lie in bed with you and for you to hold me.”
“Crowley, that’s exactly what cuddling is, dear, I hope you realize that,” Ezra replied.
Crowley huffed. “Why are you being mean? You can’t be mean to me, I’m pregnant.”
“Pointing out that my pregnant husband likes cuddles is not mean, Crowley."
"Sure it is. It's defamation, Sslander, angel."
"Please look those words up on your phone when you're tired of cuddling."