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Leaning back in his chair, Cullen let out a tired sigh as he felt the aches and weariness settling in his bones. It had been a long day and an even longer week. Tensions had been running high the entire month but it had all seemed to be condensed into these short seven days and he would be all the happier when it was over. Although, if he was honest with himself, he knew he wasn’t going to get a break from anything. This week had been bad but he didn’t see it getting better anytime soon.
“Ser?”
He shifted just enough to see the messenger standing near the corner of his desk, her gaze on the stack of papers at his elbow. “They’re ready to go,” he said, nodding at her.
“And take the rest of the night for yourself.”
“Thank you, Commander. Are the orders for the soldiers in here as well?”
“Yes,” he said simply. He’d gotten enough requests to know what she was asking about and he had granted them as much as he was able to. Guards were still needed, but the rotations were quicker, ensuring everyone would have ample time for themselves.
She carefully picked up the papers, ensuring that nothing got shuffled or misplaced from how he had had it. Her weight shifted as she started to leave before she stopped. “And you, ser? Are you taking the day for yourself?”
He almost wanted to laugh. “No,” he said, shaking his head. “There’s still much to do and what with the time I missed earlier, there’s still more to catch up on.”
It might have been a trick of the light but Cullen could have sworn that he saw disapproval flick over her face. She started to open her mouth before she thought better of it. For which he’d be eternally grateful for. He’d heard the ranks talking about him and the Inquisitor more than enough so he had a fair guess what she had wanted to say. “Have a good night, Commander.”
“You as well, Brienne.”
She gave him a smile and exited quickly. But not quick enough that the papers left on his desk didn’t ruffle in the winter wind that crept in with her leaving.
He waited for the door to be firmly shut before he lifted his hands from the stacks and sighed again. He didn’t want to work on most of this but no one else would and he had accepted all of the responsibilities that came with the title when he had assumed the role of Commander. He still wasn’t a fan of the paperwork, but he would see it done before the night was over.
The sooner you finish it, the sooner you can welcome her back. Properly.
A faint smile curled his lips at the thought. The Inquisitor had only returned that day much to the delight of everyone in Skyhold but she had been swarmed by well-wishers and nobles almost as soon as she had walked through the gate. Josephine had barely had time to schedule a proper set of meetings since none of them had actually expected Elora to make it back in time for the holiday. But she had and Skyhold had come completely alive at her return. Even now he could hear the laughter rising up from the courtyard and tavern, delight and comradery rich in the ringing sounds. A part of him wanted to set the paperweights on his desk and leave this mess for the night. Tomorrow was Satinalia and it was going to be a celebration of epic proportions if the lists he had seen going in and out of Josephine’s hands all week were any indication. Elora’s day was going to be full of meetings and exchanges and a party that would most likely last the entire holiday.
His smile faded as he thought about that. After everything that had happened between them, he had been hoping to steal some of her time for himself, to take those precious few moments to reassure himself that she was hale and whole, to have her undivided attention on him and him alone. But he wasn’t so sure that was going to happen now. They were both incredibly busy individuals and unfortunately wars didn’t heed holidays. He should count himself lucky that he got any of her time at all.
The impromptu trip to Honnleath had been worth every second of being there with her, but it had also left him with requisitions, troop movements, reports from Rylen in the Western Approach and a million other things that needed his attention. It was enough to drive a man mad. Or to drink.
Pulling open one of the bottom drawers of his desk, he made an irritated noise as it wobbled slightly. Maker, he had forgotten all about that. Every time he remembered, he never had the chance to look into it before something distracted him. But he might have the opportunity now that most of the troops and people in Skyhold were busy with whatever plans they had for the holiday. Maybe he’d actually be able to figure out what was bloody wrong with the blasted thing.
Cullen pushed his chair back further so he could see more of the desk. The thing that bothered him the most was the fact that nothing looked out of order. The wobbling was a recent occurrence and he couldn’t actually recall when exactly he had noticed it. Or any event that could have triggered it.
He felt heat creep up his neck as he realised that the desk definitely hadn’t wobbled when he had taken Elora on top of it. It had been sturdy and stable while he had stripped her bare, his hands barely shaking as they had run over every soft inch of her. How many times had she arched off of it as he had found a new place to worship with hands and mouth and it hadn’t wavered? It hadn’t budged as he’d gripped the edge, using it for extra leverage to get as close and as deep as he possibly could.
Rubbing against his burning skin, he tried to push those thoughts out of his mind. They wouldn’t do him any good now when she would be busy for the holiday and he…was staying in his office to work and figure out the rest of his paperwork. His gaze moved to the door for a moment, the urge to leave and find her almost overwhelming. Surely he could be strong enough to simply check up on her, assure himself she was alright, and return to his duties?
And perhaps nugs would grow wings and fly in the next five minutes.
Maker, but he was weak against her. He couldn’t say he was entirely opposed to it though. She hadn’t seen him at his worst, but she hadn’t walked away when it-he-had gotten bad and he got the feeling she wouldn’t either. His hot skin prickled slightly as he recalled cool fingers brushing over his forehead, trailing down his cheek as she sat beside him on his bed. The nightmare hadn’t scared her off. She’d been tender and understanding, teasing him lightly to take his mind off of it. If anything it had made him fall even more in love with her and then she had said those three words. There was no hope for him after that. He was well and truly lost to her.
He tried his best not to let it show too much but he knew others saw it. Leliana had her sly remarks at the war table and Josephine her polite smiles that spoke louder than words. And yet…he found he didn’t care. He was in love with an amazing, beautiful, strong woman and, by some miracle of the Maker, she loved him back. It shouldn’t be any surprise that she got this kind of response from him.
Cullen’s nose wrinkled slightly as he realised that he had been once again been distracted from figuring out what was putting his desk off kilter. Perhaps he wasn’t supposed to figure it out. Perhaps it was just something he would have to suffer through until the Inquisition was no longer needed.
Would that day ever come? Would there be a day that the Inquisition could lay down sword and shield because they had finally achieved what they sought? Or would their path continue, new challenges facing them at every turn as the world once again collapsed in on itself? Was the thought of anything more than this something he should consider when there was no concrete evidence that that day would ever come? Was it foolish to want and crave that something more when it was finally within his grasp? Or was it something he seriously needed to consider before he lost the chance all together?
His hands quickly slammed onto the desk, feeling it shift slightly, as the door opened and another gust of wind accompanied it. “Maker’s breath, close that will you!” he growled, praying nothing moved from its spot.
“Sorry, sorry!”
Cullen’s head snapped up at the voice and he stared at the tiny woman pushing the door closed across from him. “Elora,” he breathed, unwilling to actually believe that she was there. She had actually come to him yet again.
A grunt left her as she got the door fully closed and she looked far too pleased with herself as she dusted off her hands.
His heart trembled as she turned to him, her happy smile easily transferring to him. Her cheeks were rosy from the biting wind and her hair was starting to come loose from whatever she had tied it up with. She looked…happy and most days that was a hard task to accomplish. “I thought you’d have meetings,” he said, realising he was simply staring at her like a fool. “I would have come to meet you instead of making you come he-“
“Cullen,” she interrupted, laughing. “You didn’t make me do anything. I wanted to come see you.”
Something eased in him at the words. He never wanted to be a burden, wanted to give her space because she rarely had time for herself, but to know that she was still actively seeking him out? It warmed him like nothing else. It also made him think of how much she had actually sought him out before they had gotten together. At first he had thought it was because she was looking to learn more about the army being gathered and then he had deluded himself into thinking that was the only reason. He hadn’t been able to let himself hope that it was something more, hadn’t been able to open himself up to the idea of anything more than a work relationship between them, until he had found her half frozen in the snow.
A faint rattle, Maker was that her trying to breathe? How long had she been wandering in the snow? She’s nearly frozen solid! We shouldn’t have set camp so far back. We should have waited for her, we should have known she would come-
“Cul…len?”
Andraste preserve me. I can’t do this anymore. I just can’t.
“Hey,” Elora said softly and he started when he realised she had crossed the room while he had been lost in his thoughts. “Where did you just go?”
Shaking his head, he gave her a faint smile. “It isn’t important.”
Her full lips flattened for a moment but she didn’t press him. He loved that she respected him enough to not pry into his thoughts no matter how much she wanted to know. She couldn’t fix everything, as much as she wished otherwise, and she was slowly coming to accept it. “So, Commander, can I tempt you away from the paperwork for a bit?” she asked.
Cullen settled back in his chair, elbows on the arms and fingers resting in front of his mouth. “That would depend, my Lady. What did you propose?”
Humming softly, she leaned back against the desk beside his knee before squeaking as it wobbled and she nearly lost her balance.
“Maker, Elora,” he cried as her hands slammed onto the desk to steady herself. “Are you alright?”
“Fine, fine,” she muttered, waving it off while her cheeks got decidedly redder. “What’s wrong with your desk? Wait, did we break it?”
He couldn’t have stopped the snort that left him if he’d tried. “I think it would take more than one clumsy attempt at love making to break this thing,” he said honestly, pushing out of the chair.
“If that was clumsy, I don’t even want to think what your A-game would be like,” she mumbled under her breath.
He threw her a smirk, pleased at her praise, and it turned into a laugh when she slugged his shoulder. Or tried to at least. “You should have known better,” he told her as she shook her hand out.
“Hush it or I’ll take my temptations elsewhere.”
“Yes, Inquisitor Trevelyan.”
Elora tried to keep glaring at him but it slid off her face with a snort. “Seriously, though,” she said, turning to frown at the desk. “What happened here?”
“I don’t know,” he sighed, pushing his hand through his hair. “Everything was fine and then one day something was off.”
“And you haven’t looked yet? That doesn’t seem like you.”
“I keep getting distracted,” he said dryly.
She batted her lashes at him and giggled when he snorted.
“Sera was in here a while ago though. Josephine mentioned something about a prank she had played on her. Maybe she’s responsible for this as well,” he mused and he frowned when he saw her back stiffen.
“You don’t say?” she said absently.
Cullen glanced at her, but she wasn’t looking at him. Her gaze was on the desk, her hands on the edge as she gave it the tiniest of pushes. The little line that appeared between her brows when she concentrated on something was there and the urge to kiss it away overwhelmed him. No. It was Satinalia Eve and they were not going to spend it trying to figure out the issue with his desk when he wasn’t sure how much time they had together. Even if he was sure she actually did know the reason.
Moving to her, he gently turned her from the desk and tipped her face up. “Welcome home,” he murmured before sealing his mouth to her red lips.
A pleased sound left her and he felt her arms slide around him, the material on his back tightening as she fisted it in her hands. She shifted against him as she rose up on her toes, a silent plea for more. And he was more than willing to give it to her.
Sliding his arm around her, he splayed his hand in the small of back and pulled her closer to him. His fingers slid from her chin into her hair, knocking free the little ties she used to keep the mass under control. His tongue slipped against hers and he caught the faint taste of chocolate and mint on her. It made him smile. Barely back at Skyhold for only a couple hours and already she was into the sweets.
His hand slid down her back until he was cupping the generous swell of her ass. A breathless noise left her as he lifted her further, her toes skimming the floor now. Her hands moved up to grip his shoulders, trying to use him as a balance as she swayed against him. It didn’t work well and he leaned over her, keeping his mouth to hers as she nearly fell back. Knowing what was to come next, he braced his feet a little better seconds before one of her legs hooked around his and he couldn’t help his low chuckle.
“Cullen,” she murmured against his lips, “don’t laugh at me.”
“I would never,” he breathed, kissing the corner of her mouth.
She huffed and he pulled back to see her lashes barely lifted so she could look at him. Her pale green eyes were slightly hazy, desire making the colour darker. “I thought I was coming here to tempt you, not the other way around.”
Cullen chuckled again, easing her back down onto her feet. “What is that saying? All’s fair?” he teased.
Another huff but he could hear the laughter in the sound as she cuddled under his chin. Chills chased down his spine as her breath hit his neck, the tip of her nose pressing to the hollow at the base. A delighted laugh left her when he jerked back as he realised her nose was still cold. “Maker’s breath, how long were you out there?” he demanded, pulling back further when she tried to cuddle back into place.
“Not that long but it’s bloody cold out there!”
“Maybe if you dressed for it, you wouldn’t be so cold,” Cullen said mildly, extracting himself from her grip and earning himself a pout.
“Or maybe my commander could get back here and be the lovely boiling furnace that he is and I won’t have to worry about it.”
“Dressing warmer would be easier,” he countered, batting her hands away with a laugh as she tried to latch onto him again.
“Says the walking heater. I still think it’s a Ferelden thing, since it’s so damn cold all the time.”
“Only when it rains,” he protested.
“As I said, all the time,” Elora said dryly.
He gave her a look before shaking his head. “Alright, I’ll give you that one. Now that you’ve thoroughly distracted me, care to share why you actually came here?”
Her head tipped to the side, loose locks falling in a dark wave over her shoulder. “It’s Satinalia eve, Cullen. Why would I spend it anywhere else but with the man I love?”
“Elora,” he said softly, reaching out to cup her cheek. He could never put into words what she meant to him and usually resorted to showing her, but even then he felt like he fumbled his way through it. His heart ached as she turned into the touch and he wished he wasn’t wearing gloves so he could feel her soft skin against his. “I didn’t…I mean….”
She smiled at him, kissing his palm. “I know, Cullen.”
He leaned forward until his forehead was resting on hers. Letting his eyes close, he simply let himself enjoy being near her. They got so few opportunities to just be with one another that he savoured each and every one of them when they actually happened. Breathing in her scent, taking solace in her being right next to him, he felt some of the weariness drop from him. How she managed to do that was beyond him but he treasured her all the more for it.
His lips quirked when she rubbed her nose against his before she kissed him quickly. “I have something for you,” she said, pulling away from him.
His stomach sank, falling somewhere around his toes. “Elora, we agreed we wouldn’t get each other anything for Satinalia,” he protested.
Her shoulders lifted and fell in a shrug as she tugged the satchel off of her back. “No, you said we shouldn’t get each other anything. I never agreed to any such thing.”
A long suffering sigh left him as he joined her at the desk. “I’ve told you before that I don’t need anything.”
She popped up on her toes to kiss him and his brow cocked up when she almost completely missed his mouth. “And I’ve told you, Commander, a gift doesn’t have to be something you need.”
Watching her for a long moment, he slipped behind her when she said nothing more, wrapping his arms around her waist. He let his cheek rest on her hair as she rummaged in the bag for whatever she was looking for. His eyes closed again and he slowly let go of the worries and stresses that had been weighing him down since he saw her last. “I didn’t ask,” he murmured, “what did you find in the Oasis?”
“We got through the last of the middle doors,” she said absently. “More frost protection, more undead, more Maker damned despair demons.”
His arms tightened slightly at the mention of demons. Every time she left Skyhold, he was terrified she would come back different or worse. If she ever fell to a demon, he would…. No. He couldn’t think about it. He barely relaxed when she squeezed his hand, holding him gently until his own grip loosened. “Nothing you couldn’t handle?”
“I won’t say it was easy because it wasn’t,” she said her voice grumpy now. “But we got through it well enough.”
That made him wonder if he was going to find a new injury tonight that wasn’t as healed as it should be because she pushed herself too hard. Rubbing his cheek against her hair for a moment, he tamped down the urge to ask her if she was okay. She was here, in his arms, and didn’t need to be badgered about it. Plus he wanted her to stay and nagging, as she put it, would make her leave.
“Okay!” Elora crowed. “Close your eyes!”
Cullen’s eyes immediately opened and he looked down at her as she squirmed around to face him.
“That is the exact opposite of what I asked you to do,” she teased.
“Why do you want me to-”
“Ah, ah, ah!” she interrupted. “Closed!”
His lips pressed together before he did what she asked. He felt her moving against him and his arms tightened in response. The soft noise that left her as she came flush to him did nothing to help the arousal simmering in his veins and he knew she could feel him pressing against her belly.
She muttered something under her breath before saying, “Open your mouth please.”
“Elora, what are you doing?”
“Humour me. Please?”
He hesitated for a moment before parting his lips. Only a moment passed before something was being gently placed on his tongue and almost immediately began melting. He didn’t miss what it was though. A soft moan left him and he couldn’t stop himself from licking his lips after he swallowed. “Where did you find that?” he asked, looking down at her. He was going to ignore the remnants of the moan he could hear in his voice.
She had a cat in the cream smile curling her wicked mouth. “I have my ways,” she said smugly. “I have to admit, I wasn’t sure I believed it when I heard that this was considered a treat in Ferelden.”
“Because we have such bland tastes?” he asked dryly, having heard the statement from both Josephine and Leliana. But his gaze was moving behind her, searching for wherever the cookie had come from. She had to have more. He had never heard of a batch of one when it came to cookies.
“I didn’t say that. I more meant that I didn’t understand how only butter, sugar, and flour could actually be good.”
He looked back at her. “You’ve never had shortbread before?” he said in surprise before cursing himself. “Never mind. Don’t answer that.”
Her smile softened. “I can’t say that I have had it,” she murmured. “If you’re willing to share your gift that could change.”
Leaning down, Cullen brushed his mouth over hers. “I am more than willing to share with you,” he breathed. “For a price of course.”
“You’re starting to sound like Josie,” she sighed. “I bring you a treat and you demand payment for it.
Feeling bold, he rolled his hips against her and said, “Are you really going to complain? Now?”
He barely contained his grin as he felt the shiver run the length of her spine. He didn’t bother stopping it when her tongue darted over her lower lip as she stared at his mouth. “Maker, I wish I could hate you,” she muttered.
“Why would you ever want that?”
Elora shook her head, her hands slipping up to thread through his hair as she stood on her toes. “I don’t. I just don’t know what to do with you sometimes.”
As if he was any better. But he knew what he wanted to do, there was only one small thing in his way. “Elora, I don’t have anything for you,” he murmured as she brushed her lips over his.
“I have you, Cullen, and you are more than I could have ever wanted.”
Andraste, how did she do that? He was broken and battered around the edges but when she looked at him like this, when she said those kinds of things, he felt whole, more than whole, almost worthy of her. “I love you.” Three words were all he could offer her but it was enough.
“I love you more,” she teased, her voice light but he could see her love on her face. “But you haven’t named your price, Commander.”
“It should be obvious,” he said dryly.
Her lips curved upward. “Do you have any plans for the rest of your evening?”
“Other than keeping you here for the night? No.” He paused before a small laugh left him. “Perhaps I do have a gift for you.”
“Oh?” she asked curiously, leaning into him.
Cullen dropped a kiss on her lips and felt her smile. “I took your advice and fixed my roof.”
A gasp left her and she pulled back from him. “You did not!”
“After how many times you’ve commented on it, how could I not?”
“Well,” Elora purred, “perhaps we should take the cookies upstairs and celebrate there?”
“Yes,” he murmured, leaning over her again. “Perhaps we should.”