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Despite not wanting the image in her head, Ai was able to recall with clarity the look on Conan’s face when he realized that Ran had started to move on. His surprise at seeing Ran’s hand clasped within Eisuke’s grasp tightly would be forever seared into her memory—the grief and despair and acceptance that flashed in his eyes were so staggering that her own breath had caught in her throat.
She had always known that it was inevitable that Ran would put Shinichi behind her, but she hadn’t expected the ache in her chest when it actually happened—she didn’t realize that seeing the hurt in his eyes would hurt her as much as it did. It was a bitter pill to swallow, knowing that she was the cause of his pain and sorrow. The realization had caused her to stumble in her steps before she mustered a smile and made an excuse so that both of them could leave.
But then he had looked at her with such gratefulness—all she wanted to do was ask whether he realized that she was the reason for everything that was wrong in his life.
And now, here they were.
Her gaze wandered the beautiful white orchid centerpiece at her table as Ai swirled the wine in her glass absently, the sound of his familiar voice speaking filling the silence of the beautiful venue as the occasional laughter sprinkled through the audience. Without even trying, she would be able to recite his speech verbatim and without hesitation—he had been so nervous that it was all he could think about the last two weeks.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the enthusiastic applause and cheers of the guests. The three children—young adults actually, though she still had trouble thinking of them as anything but children—were clapping their hands gleefully. Within moments, Conan rejoined her back at the table with his wine glass, his flushed cheeks, his glassy eyes and an elated look in his gaze.
“How was it?” he asked with a wry smile, the barest hint of uncertainty flickering across his face. Tilting his head back slightly, he took another sip from his glass before setting it down at the table.
Her gaze flitted briefly to the bride and groom before their gazes met again. “No different than the other three hundred times you’ve made me listen to it,” she finally responded dryly. And then her fingers reached up to attempt to comb down his cowlick before giving up and fixing his tie instead.
Rolling his eyes, his hand grabbed hers gently, his lips quirked up in amusement. “Didn’t think to do that before my toast?” He brushed his mouth against her knuckles fleetingly before tucking it securely into his own and resting it on his lap. “Also, my mom is staring at us from her table, so…”
Her lips twitched upwards as she forced herself not to embarrass him further, though the temptation was hard to resist. “Is that why you’ve been so worried about your speech?”
“Maybe,” he murmured with just a trace of exasperation.
Her attention was brought back to the bride and groom as they began to thank their guests, especially those who had come from far away to join in their celebration. It was during these times, as she caught the palpable look of joy on Ran’s face and the absolute look of happiness and adoration in Eisuke’s eyes, that she had to wonder if things had indeed fallen into place—if things were really just meant to happen.
“You okay?” His hushed question in her ear snapped her out of her reverie.
She studied the look in his eyes and surprised herself that even after all these years, she could still be astonished by the concern he blatantly displayed. Her gaze flickered towards the newlywed. “Do you ever regret…” she trailed off, not knowing whether she should have brought it up again, but unwilling at the same time to look at him when she began asking the question.
His hold on her hand tightened just slightly. “Not taking the antidote?” he asked. At the sight of her nod, a deep sigh escaped him before she felt his arm wrap around her shoulder. Her body leaned against his side as his lips grazed against the top of her head.
“No,” he responded after a few moments, his voice barely audible over the loud music. She noticed with relief that everyone else at their table had vacated their seats to get to the dance floor except for the two of them. “If I had taken it, I would have had to lie to everyone about Conan and keep up the deception.”
His thumb was drawing lazy circles on her arm and she suspected he wasn’t aware that he was even doing it. “But,” he continued, his voice cracking just barely noticeably, “nobody remembers Shinichi. Not anymore, anyway.”
“Kudou-kun…” she breathed out as her head turned around towards him, her chest clenched tight.
He had a small smile on his face—a genuine one. “And over the years, I’ve realized that I’m okay with that.”
She let out a small breath.
His other hand cupped her cheek and tilted her head as he leaned in, his mouth brushing against hers with a feather-like touch. She would never get used to the way his blue eyes glowed fondly whenever he was looking at her.
“And plus,” he said softly. “Conan has Ai. Shinichi does not.”
She leaned forward and kissed his jawline before burying her face into the hollow of his neck, the familiar scent of mint, coffee and aftershave enveloping her.
“You really know what to say, huh,” she whispered, her face pressed against the warmth of his skin as his heartbeat pulsed under her cheek.
His soft chuckles vibrated against her and she felt her lips curl up.
“Only sometimes.”