Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"no thanks i'm fine." chenle glares at sungchan before taking another step up the stairs. he knows he just got out of the hospital, while his left leg still as fragile as mark's spiderman figurine collection he can't let jung sungchan lend him a helping hand. 

he's not desperate to walk up to class. he's fine, just three more flights.

"you're going to be late." sungchan muses from behind him. why is he still here.

"you're going to be late." chenle mocks, groaning as his leg bends the wrong way. 

he can hear sungchan scoffing, now beside him, and before chenle protests the taller lifts him from the ground. sungchan grabs the back of chenle's knees with his hand as the other circles chenle's shoulders for support. 

"we need to go to class." 

Chapter Text

as if the world wants to laugh at him and give him shit, from waking up with a pimple on his lower lip to missing the bus a second too late, it brings him here. right in front of this tall man who has green liquid dripping from his hair. 

chenle squints and looks up from the rooftop to see if it came from up there. as expected, yangyang and donghyuck, who are part of the same theatre club as him, hold an empty pail each. they don't look satisfied, considering yangyang's shouting a series of apologies to the victim in front of him. 

"hey," chenle calls out. "you okay?" 

"would you like to go to prom with me? the slime isn't part of the promposal, yangyang and donghyuck thought i was jungwoo." sungchan stammers through his words and that's when chenle notices the white cardboard with words spelling to 'will you go to prom with me chenle?' with glitter hearts covering the corners of the paper. he's holding a plastic rose on one hand as well. 

chenle looks up to the sky and exasperatedly sighs. "i always knew it would end like this."

"so...yes?"

Chapter Text

it is very unfair to look that good. and if chenle has to make the rules, jung sungchan would be the first person out of the game. for, for being very charming, or attractive, or pretty. whatever, it's just very unfair that the gods gifted him everything; his tall stature, his logical brain — which you really can't argue with, their philosophy professor hates him —, his kind smile, his small face, broad shoulders —

"why are you so thirsty?" chenle snaps his head towards renjun from across the table. 

"what?" chenle gawks at him, opening his notebook which he planned to do before he caught sight of sungchan's figure entering the library. 

"can you just talk to him?" renjun snickers, looking behind him to glance at the person chenle's been staring at. 

"i talk to him. all the time." 

"no, like, confess. your feelings. your disgusting feelings. those googly eyes, your drools every time you see him." renjun's voice keeps getting louder and louder that he has to clasp his hand to his friend's mouth when he notices sungchan is looking at their table. 

"shut up." chenle says after a while. okay, maybe he does have feelings for sungchan. it's a crush. he doesn't have to confess to every person he gets a crush on. 

"put that big head of yours to good use. it's not just a crush, you've had crushes before. i've seen it, and this is not just a fun crush, chenle. shoot your shot." 

chenle hates that renjun is always right, "yeah, okay."

Chapter Text

"you promise to hold onto that." 

chenle gives himself a chance to roll his eyes. "i'm not a child, sungchan." they're at an amusement park with their friends, and said friends are nowhere to be found. 

"yes, you're not. but i promise kun hyung i will take care of you. and i don't want yukhei hyung to think i'm irresponsible." sungchan complains, and he seems close to stomping his foot. he's holding a purple balloon which makes it even more hilarious. "your brothers scare me."

"sungchan, i can just call you." he can, he has his boyfriend on speed dial. he can definitely ring sungchan if he needs him. 

"you can. but this is a big crowd, lele." sungchan takes chenle's hand, makes him hold the other purple balloon. "this is the easiest way to find each other." he continues with so much satisfaction that chenle doesn't have the heart to disagree. there are other people holding balloons; there is a higher possibility of sungchan following the wrong person with a similar colored balloon than jisung agreeing to ride a rollercoaster. to tell the truth, jisung won't ever agree to ride a rollercoaster, but chenle believes he has a point. 

"fine." groaning, chenle ties the balloon's string around his wrist. "i'll go get us some drinks." 

he could see how sungchan physically beams when he agreed with his balloon plan. chenle gives his boyfriend a bright smile and a light tap on the cheek before going his way. 

after paying for the drinks, chenle looks around to find the tall guy with a purple balloon around the area. but he didn't have to as sungchan came running excitedly towards him. 

"see! i told you it'll be easier to find you!" 

chenle gives him a cup, stares at his shoes to hide the smile forming on his face. sungchan is being unconsciously adorable again, sometimes he can handle it, sometimes he can't. and when chenle looks up, sungchan's head is tilted to the side. "what?"

"you're happy." it isn't a question. it's an observation. and it's true. 

"i'm happy." because i'm with you.

Chapter Text

"this is you." sungchan grunts, finishing off the last whisker of his amateur drawing of a kitten. 

chenle looks to the side and laughs when he sees the crooked drawing on the concrete ground. "a cat? me?" 

they found a few chalks lying around the pavement on the way to their shared apartment after having dinner at jaemin's place. somehow the sight of an empty sidewalk and the used chalks interest them more than the comfort of their beds. 

"yeah! you look like a cat." sungchan pouts, watching chenle draw on his side. "a tree?"

"that's you!" chenle laughs louder. it echoes through the empty block with only them and a working stop light. "you're so tall you can be a tree if we think hard enough." 

they continue drawing random objects, explaining it to each other, and laughing when they find it silly. it feels as though they went back to being four year olds, carefree and almost learning how to count to twenty. this is what sungchan realizes when he stares at chenle beside him, eyes sparkling and tongue poking out in concentration. 

"this is what you wanted." sungchan suddenly blurts out.

"hm?"

"you said before if you have the chance to, you would want to meet me while we're still little." sungchan says quietly, as if speaking louder would disrupt the beauty of the moment. 

chenle just smiles, nudging his friend's arm with his own before continuing to draw. "yeah, it would be so much fun growing up together with you."

Chapter Text

a long flight is what it is. while visiting his family back in shanghai was a mixture of joy and warmth, he knew there's something missing. something— someone with brown hair (that chenle notices is getting longer, but when he tells him to cut it he'll just huff at him), tall and broad, silly but kind, has a million watt smile. 

he was missing sungchan during the holidays. 

it's not like they didn't talk while they were away from each other. occasional video calls happen; when chenle was cooking with his mom, she asked if his son can call his boyfriend to accompany them even from miles away. they made sure to call before sleeping, too. so, really, there was not much of the day when sungchan wasn't present. 

right now, though, chenle knows it won't be the static face he'll be seeing in a while. it's the real life living body of his boyfriend that will welcome him. 

when the announcer says they've landed safely in seoul, chenle does his best to stay composed as he gathers his belongings. he follows the other passengers in front of him, making sure to follow all the instructions as they exit the plane. 

the air isn't anything new. it's still pretty cold since it's still january. chenle hugs himself, eyes scanning the crowd of relatives waiting for their loved ones to arrive. when his eyes land to the far left of the airport, he sees the person he's been missing those two weeks. 

sungchan stands there, cozily wearing his padded coat. he smiles when he notices chenle staring at him and waves. chenle forgets everything and runs across the crowd towards his boyfriend. the taller has his arms wide open because he knows what chenle will do when he sees him.

thus, chenle excitedly jumps and gives sungchan the warmest embrace he can offer. a smile etched on his face as he breathed in sungchan's calming scent. 

"i've missed you." sungchan mumbles over chenle's brown locks.

"missed you most." 

Chapter Text

it's a nice day, while donghyuck and renjun are busy preparing the food inside the cabin, sungchan decides that mark's hammock creates a fun touch to their little get together. he settles himself on the fabric as the afternoon sun lingers on his skin. 

the ride from the city to the camping site they booked was pretty shaky and crooked. it took a while for their van to go up the hill, thankfully they got here before lunch time. said lunch would be ready in a bit, which made him think he can rest out here first. sungchan isn't needed in the kitchen, they much rather want him out of there. a win-win if you ask him. 

"oi, look at you lazying around." he hears chenle whistles, footsteps growing nearer. sungchan smiles and closes his eyes, feels the hammock slightly swaying when chenle lies himself next to him. the taller pulls chenle closer to his chest as the other snuggles himself in the little space. 

"it's a good day, i'm tired." sungchan mumbles, dropping a kiss on chenle's forehead. his eyes slightly drooping, voice almost too low to be heard over the chirping of the birds. 

chenle snorts, muffled by sungchan's shirt. "it's twelve thirteen in the afternoon, you haven't done anything yet." but sungchan only hums, attempting to rock the hammock by himself. 

a few minutes passed, mark opened the cabin door and called them out for lunch. when he walks closer to the two they're already lulled into a peaceful slumber, bodies cozily entangled with one another. chenle is comfortable laying his head on sungchan's chest while the taller has his hand around chenle's back, as if protecting him from anyone who comes near them.

mark stares at them with adoration and chooses to forgo waking them up. they'll just have to save them some for when they awake.

Chapter Text

they had to call jeno, they can't do this alone because for one, they don't have their driver's license yet, and two, jeno is pretty easy to bribe. just give him large fries and he'll do whatever you want him to.

what they want is to go to a fast food place at two in the morning, good thing their town has a 24-hour drive thru. jeno stops his car on the drive thru window and greets the lady who pretty much wants to go home already. 

"three large fries, one double cheese burger, and-" jeno turns to chenle and sungchan at the back seat for their orders. sungchan's typing gingerly on his phone to care about it at the moment, so chenle does it for them. 

"two cheese burgers, no pickles for the other one. one blueberry milkshake-" he pauses and turns to sungchan for affirmation. the other nods eagerly before snorting at something funny he saw on his phone. "one iced tea, both medium please." 

once the orders are received, jeno immediately drives back to their dorms. chenle searches through the paper bags to take out their food; he opens the cheese burgers to look for the one without pickles. sungchan is a picky eater, and pickles are on his things that make me puke list. 

the first one has, so he guesses the other doesn't. but when he does open it, there are three visible pickle slices in it. he furrows his eyebrows and turns to sungchan whose eyes are focused on a cat video he found on twitter. chenle then grabs the drinks, and that's when he completely lost it. 

"what's wrong?" jeno senses the dim atmosphere behind him and looks over as he munches his burger. they're parked outside the building, because jeno is as impatient as they are when it comes to food.

"they got sungchan's orders wrong. i said no pickles and both medium drinks." chenle holds the milkshake up with gritted teeth. "this is obviously large."

"oh?" the commotion finally grabs sungchan's attention, his eyes trained on the drink his friend is holding. "'s alright. i don't mind large." 

"no, sungchan. you can't sleep when you drink too much milk!" chenle huffs, not letting the other get ahold of the cup. 

"but i can take out the pickles for the burger, you can eat it for me."

"no, we're going back there. jeno, turn the engine on." 

needless to say, even after jeno's complaints that the fast food chain was far away, and sungchan is definitely fine with his food, chenle demanded them to go back there for a new one. 

sungchan's pretty embarrassed by what happened, but it's two am and chenle's just being a great friend.

Chapter Text

chenle's neck is very pretty, it's very pale and soft and smooth. it's like a blank canvas wanting to be painted and marked and wanted. when sungchan first realized he had a thing for necks, specifically chenle's, he was too shy to reveal it to the younger. it wasn't a big deal at first, really. he just thought it's pretty, and he admired chenle for taking care of his skin well. but later he figured it's not the smoothness that attracted his attention, rather, how nice it would be to touch it and plant his lips on it. 

when chenle found out about this, it wasn't because sungchan admitted. he was very obvious of his thirst for chenle's neck. every time his eyes wander to the taller, he sees his eyes staring distracted on his exposed neck. chenle would find himself flushing at the attention, his body growing warmer by the intensity of sungchan's stare. 

he imagines being under the taller, sungchan's mouth lapping and licking and biting on his neck — he's imagines all sorts of things, but this one in particular always leaves his skin prickling and his mind wanting for more, for the real deal.

sungchan goes to chenle's room one time, leisurely jumping on the other's bed as he waits for chenle to save his word document. he invites sungchan to play video games because they both need to release all the stress from the finals that ended earlier that week.

however, they must've gone through a different route halfway the third game when sungchan finally won against chenle. he stuck his tongue in celebration, teasing chenle as he playfully leaned closer to him, still with his tongue out. chenle, on the other hand, didn't know what had gotten into him right as he pulled sungchan closer to his face. he felt sungchan freeze as their lips touched, melting immediately when chenle licks his lower lip, asking for permission.

before they know it, chenle's sitting on sungchan's lap, panting heavily as the taller bites hard, enough to leave a bruise, just below the left side of his jaw. he whines when sungchan swipes his tongue along the forming mark before moving lower. 

"sungcha..." chenle whines, interrupting himself from finishing his words. sungchan hums in return, sending vibrations through chenle's skin.

sungchan pulls chenle forward, gripping his waist tighter so the smaller won't slide off. because chenle feels like he's melting; he feels like an ice cube dipped in warm water. his neck should be filled with bites and bruises by now, but it all feels so good. he doesn't mind at all.

sungchan isn't even hiding his craving anymore. the overly loud sound of his mouth kissing chenle's neck is the only sound in the room, apart from chenle's constant whining. 

"good?" sungchan mumbles while peppering chenle's jaw with kisses. 

"hng- yes." chenle breathes out, forcing sungchan's face closer to his face. the other looks up, mouth glistening with saliva, chenle preens.

they pull each other for a hungrier kiss, tongue accessing the insides of their mouths. chenle moans when sungchan licks the ceiling of his mouth. 

it's so wet and loud. sungchan thinks he won't be able to last another day without tasting chenle anymore. but they have to pull away. 

once they did, sungchan saw the masterpiece he'd made. licking his lips, he carefully touches chenle's neck; finding satisfaction at the bite marks he's planted on the smaller. 

"fuck." sungchan comes into his senses, looking up at chenle's face. the other has his mouth open, panting heavily and soundly. both chenle's neck and lips are so wet, it's so hard to not lean and dive in again. "was that okay?"

he hears chenle chuckle. "that was insane."

Chapter Text

the movie scared the hell out of him. what has gone through jaehyun's mind that he thinks it's fun to watch a horror movie at night. it's true that his brother would rather believe in aliens than ghosts, but that doesn't mean it runs in the family. sungchan, for one, cannot handle scary things. 

one time when dejun got his first salary from his old part time, he treated them to the theme park. of course there was a catch, and that was the horror house. sungchan still shivers at the thought of going back there. 

from the looks of it, he won't be sleeping well tonight. it's even better that his parents decide to ground him for a week. he can't leave the house and forget all of the jumpscares and faces with no eyes. he goes back to his room just as jaehyun decides he wants to watch the sequel of said horror movie. 

even as he locks himself in his room, sungchan can't help but hear the tormenting screams coming from the living room. 

looking up, he grits his teeth in frustration, unaware that his bedroom window is opening. 

then he hears a voice. 

sungchan has his eyes widen immediately, frozen on his bed as he tries to avoid the now obvious sound coming from the opened window. is this the end of him?

"dude, can you help me? don't just sit there." the voice hisses, followed by the window creaking. 

sungchan blinks his eyes in bewilderment. "what?" he finally gives himself a chance to glance at his window. sungchan frowns. "what are you doing?"

"i'm climbing through your window! isn't obvious, you idiot. help me!" 

sungchan grunts, the person on his window not giving him much choice but to stand up on his bed and help them. 

"chenle it's eleven pm." sungchan deadpans, pulling the other further inside.

"i know, i'm bored." chenle says when he's finally standing on the floor of sungchan's bedroom.

"so you climbed through our house instead of knocking like a normal human person?" 

"yes." 

sungchan gives a dismissive hand and turns to jump on his bed. chenle follows even without the bed owner's permission. sungchan can't really complain, it's hard to resist chenle. especially that he hasn't seen him outside school for a few days. 

the visitor occupies the space next to him, leans closer so their shoulders brush. chenle puts his head onto sungchan's shoulder as he wraps his arms around him.

"i wanna cuddle." 

again, it's pretty hard to resist chenle and his requests, but sungchan only nods. he does the same action as chenle. sungchan tells himself that it's because jaehyun made him watch a horror movie and a simple cuddle can make it go away.. 

"i wanna sleep." chenle mumbles, he's now squishing his face on sungchan's pillow right next to the other's chest.

"if you wanted to sleep, you could've done that in your own room." sungchan replies with a scoff, pulling chenle closer.

"i want to sleep next to you." chenle whispers. before sungchan can reply, he already hears the other snoring softly. 

"good night, lele."

Chapter Text

he should be excited to be sitting in the passenger seat with chenle on his lap, inhaling the intoxicated air from their attached lips. but he knows jisung has been here before. more times than him. he also knows he shouldn't be thinking about jisung having more opportunities sitting in this spot at daylight and on day chenle just wants someone to drive around town when he's stressed out. 

he shouldn't be thinking of these things, but he is. 

sungchan knows they're both mildly drunk, for different reasons; jaemin's party made it possible to drown themselves in flashy liquids and loud music. chenle doesn't drink that much — and as far as sungchan is concerned, chenle hates the stronger ones. he guessed him and jisung had something going on before the party. he won't pry. it didn't end up well the last time. 

there's an unspoken thing between them, just them. it's that they shall never talk about this in the morning and other days to come. sungchan would follow chenle to his car, take care of him in all of the ways he can; while there are times it gets stuffy that he feels a sting on his heart whenever chenle mumbles jisung's name, sungchan keeps it to himself. 

everything's about jisung anyway. even on the days chenle feels quite nice, and he's there to make his night nicer, he talks about jisung. 

sungchan is a second choice and no one's pick. 

when chenle first grabbed him by the wrist at one of their friends' parties, it was the moment he thought someone actually wants him. overtime sungchan found out that he's a secret, someone to be kept when the real one is there. he tries not to say a word, it's bearable these days. because they only do it when they're both drunk. tomorrow, they can just blame it on the alcohol. typical.

chenle pushes himself closer to his chest, that movement would always tug a string in him. he wants to be closer to him, chenle wants sungchan close. maybe only for a minute, maybe for an hour. but at least he can feel the heat of chenle near him. 

sungchan figures, being a second choice isn't as bad if it's with chenle.

Chapter Text

College fairs aren't his thing, so he isn't sure why his friends are trying to reel him in. Chenle was never for crowded places because one, it's crowded (as obvious as it is, it has to be said) and two, it's a college fair. He's certain his friends know that he's trying to avoid seeing him in the meantime. Things are still healing— by things he means his heart and eyes, possibly because they still sting when he cries. 

It doesn't help that the college fair is during February. Normal citizens of the world know that when the clock hits 12 midnight of February 1st in any year, the world will turn pink and red, with glitter hearts in every store glass and entryway you see on the corners of the street. 

They're planning something. It isn't a hunch, Donghyuck literally bursted in the room saying, "We have a plan. You need to get a date." And that's exactly why he's covering himself with a blanket. 

"Chenle, come on." Jisung grumbles, tapping the side of his mattress relentlessly. "The concert starts in, oh my god," Chenle hears another pause. "In fifteen minutes! Dude, we need to go." Jisung continues to whine, and he's really close to stuffing his mouth with a pillow. 

He didn't really have any choice to begin with. While Jisung was busy annoying him into going, Jaemin was scavenging through his closet to get anything that's fit for the occasion. Donghyuck? He's there, like a good spectator. 

It didn't take long, either. Chenle was pretty easy to tug, he's light— it's why his he likes lifting him up whenever they're on the bed, and he'll start tickling him and—

"We're here!" Donghyuck squeals, first to slam the car door shut and head onto the oval. The line is almost gone, everyone's inside the campus grounds already, waiting for the concert to start. 

Lights here, loud speakers everywhere. Chenle scowls at the blinding purple and pink and orange lights that don't seem to match. He watches as the students hold cotton candies and juices on their hands as some squeeze to get in front of the barricade. He's not sure who's performing tonight, he's never looked at the lineup when it was posted on the university's Facebook account. 

The concert is a weekend-long concert. It's always a Valentine's special. Knowing his fellow university students, they would love to cry their hearts out singing to acoustic-heavy, piano-driven, or just songs about a break up or falling madly in love. Chenle can't really shame them on that. Just last year he was one of them, thinking how in love he is without realizing he's going to the same event a year later with only his stupid friends with him. 

"Let's go." Jisung drawls out, pulling Jaemin by the wrist as he glares at Chenle. "Chenle stop frowning."

"How could I not when you're literally glaring at me." 

Donghyuck clasps a hand on his shoulder. "Come on, Lele. Have some uni pride!"

"No."

-

Second act, and he can feel the nonexistent lanterns floating in the air together with the opened lights on everyone's phones. Jaemin is crying as he waves his phone in the air, Jisung is continuously judging him but he's patting his back reassuringly. Donghyuck has been gone since it started to maybe grab some snacks; Chenle's left on his own wondering if things were different will this song being performed right now sound different to him. He mentally shrugs and moves to make way to a group of guys running towards the barricade.

They're on the far back, right where some students are lounging about on the grassy ground, some scattered talking and laughing— and Jaemin, he's still crying, the song isn't even sad to begin with. 

Chenle scratches his neck, and mosquitoes would just be about delighted to catch sight of so many people at night. Unconsciously, he moves to the side where it has more air to breathe, leaving Jaemin and Jisung for a moment. He feels a body slightly bumping behind him just as the chorus of the song starts. Chenle turns to apologize, but is met with a cream knitted sweatshirt he can name the brand and date it was bought in an instant. 

"H-" The person must have noticed it, too. 

It looks so ridiculous, really, as the crowd sings along to the lyrics that contrast how they see each other now. Or maybe not, because for sure Chenle knows he still feels comfort whenever he sees his face. 

"Chenle," He continues the interrupted greeting from a second ago. A happy, laughing girl runs behind Chenle, and her friends catch up on her, telling her she shouldn't go far. "Sorry."

Whether it's the bump, or Sungchan breaking his heart a month before semestral break, he's not sure what he's sorry about. Neither is Chenle sure if he really doesn't care anymore. But as he looks at the boy's face, the face he's looked at thousands of times with adoration. Chenle is sure of something. 

"Don't worry." Chenle walks backwards, accidentally bumping on someone again. Sungchan flinched, about to grab him but stopped himself. 

Chenle should really stop, too. The song is almost ending, and he should go back to Jaemin and Jisung, or find Donghyuck. Yeah, he's quite hungry. 

"Hey," Sungchan calls out for him when he doesn't move. "Are you okay?"

"Why do you care?" Chenle whispers, eyes looking for anything, anything really, that tells him Sungchan actually does. 

"Can, can we talk? I feel like so many things have been left out from before, and," Sungchan gulps. Chenle follows the movement of his adam's apple. He wants to be closer. "I don't wanna end things." 

"What?"

"I'm sorry." Sungchan is shockingly closer than how he remembers. "I'm sorry, I was stressed out. You know, finals, everything. I'm sorry. I don't wanna end things. I wanted to tell you, but you kept ignoring me and your friends were telling me to go away because you were miserable." 

Chenle faintly hears the same song in the background; although now, it's the studio version, the performance must have ended while he's busy understanding what the hell Sungchan is saying. He can't even reply. 

"I don't want you to feel miserable. I want you to feel safe. I only said I want to end things because I thought I was failing my major, and didn't want you to go down with me." Sungchan rubs a palm over his face. Chenle knows the other is feeling so stupid right now. His mannerisms, Chenle memorized them all. "I don't, I don't know if you want to. But, if- can you give me another chance? This will be the last. I won't leave. Ever."

"Don't say that." He only manages to say. A few students are still singing the damned song. Chenle can feel his heart clenching, it's infuriating. 

It's infuriating not being near Sungchan whenever he wants. It's infuriating to know that after a tiring day, he won't be able to call him and complain. He's infuriated that he can't be there when Sungchan needs help with his Biology, because he really hates Science. 

"Okay," Sungchan nods, understanding as always. "I made you uncomfortable." 

"No," Chenle catches Sungchan's wrist before he gets too far. The other guy's eyes went wider than it already is. "Don't go."

"Why?" Sungchan asks, tentatively, brows pinched. Chenle remembers he does that when he's nervous, Sungchan is an open book. 

"Because I'm giving you a last chance. Don't do that ever again." 

It feels like a ton of metal has been lifted from his stomach. He feels lighter after saying that, he can't believe he's been waiting for that moment. Maybe he's stupid, Sungchan is too. 

"Thank you," Sungchan slides a palm on Chenle's shoulder, asking for a hug. He nods pulling the much taller man for a tight embrace. "Thank you. I won't do that ever, ever." 

They pull back and suddenly, Sungchan's eyes are watery. "Why are you crying, silly."

"Because I made a mistake." Sungchan blurts out. Chenle hides a laugh. "I'm-"

"Stop saying you're sorry or I'll kick you, Jinsu-yah."

Sungchan immediately closes his mouth, acting like he is zipping his lips and throwing...a key? 

Maybe this is weird. Giving your boyfriend turned ex-boyfriend then boyfriend, again, another chance. The story isn't supposed to end up like this, but Chenle knows he's not a masochist nor he's an idiot to think he'll let a guy make him miserable long-term. And Sungchan isn't some guy; he's an idiot, yeah. He makes mistakes, like what he's crying about in Chenle's arm now. And there will certainly be days they'll do this in the near future. 

There's no harm in trying again. 

Chapter Text

he is not going to the club. no matter how much jeno propels him. it's saturday night — it's close to three in the morning, so maybe sunday morning — and what better thing to do than finish his accounting activity that's been sitting there on his desk all week. but why is he walking outside with jeno and the rest of his friends? because the library is near the gates and he has to go there to find materials for his other report, which he has been procrastinating for three days now. and he needed to go out of his room once and for all. 

college is fun. 

waving a later to the others, sungchan grabs his i.d on the pocket of his hoodie and balances his laptop between his arm and chest. when he enters the brightly lit first floor of the library, there's not much to see. other than the boy sitting behind the desk. it's a fellow student, sungchan is guessing it's community service. 

he nods at him, although he's certain he didn't see him until sungchan places his things down the nearest table to the desk. there's no one in here but them, might as well get himself some company. 

"hey," sungchan utters, coming closer to the side of the desk. the boy hums, putting his phone and pausing his game. "do you have a pencil or a pen, but preferably a pencil?" sungchan didn't think this through. he just went out of his room when jeno tugged him and brought his laptop with him.

"uh, yeah," the boy scrambles through his bag and lifts up a pencil, looking good as new. "you need a paper, too?" he snickers this time, handing out the pencil to sungchan.

"that would be fantastic." 

they go in a comfortable silence as sungchan wonders why he hadn't done this report earlier. and wonders again why he's doing these two activities at the same time. 

"why are you doing this in the library and not your own room?" the boy musters up, sungchan looks up from the lent paper and pencil to him. 

"i was dragged out to go to the club, but then i realized i needed fluorescent to finish these. lots of them."

the boy chuckles, leaning on the counter to place his arm on it, chin placed on the palm of his hand. "so you decided the best thing to do is go to the library instead of the club, huh?"

"of course," sungchan scoff, eyes scanning the contents of the soft copy of the activity in his laptop and cursing lightly. 58,218 not 58,214. now he has to erase that one. it's a good thing it's just a draft. "i can't do this in the club." he continues, making the boy hum in agreement. 

the two of them continue some interesting small talk as sungchan pants his way through the never ending numbers and problems while trying to think of an explanation for a poem he has to analyze. it's a gened class, he has to do it. it's when he fails to read the numbers on the activity again, that he decides to completely pay attention to the boy. 

he's sorting the books on the counter, and sungchan thinks those are either the returns or the newly donated ones. he doesn't care about that. 

"why do people like saying things like 'you might meet the person for you in a club'? what does that even mean?" sungchan scowls after repeating the same words yangyang said to him while he and jeno rope him into getting out of his room. "like, why out of all places would i meet 'the person for me' in a club?" he says this with much confusion that the boy heartily laughs. 

he looks at him with mirth, eye sparkling in mischief. it goes off as he replies, "i'm guessing you're not into going to clubs?"

"not at all." 

the boy shrugs, going back to sorting. 

but sungchan would rather talk to him than interest the hotel bills that have gone way too high than their usual monthly bills, and sungchan cannot understand why. 

"why are you here anyway? assigned for midnight schedules." 

"i'm clocking out in an hour. it's for community service."

"what'd you do?"

the boy gives him a tilt of the head and a smirk, "a bad one."

sungchan's lips turn up, finding the boy's antics quite adorable. "which is?"

"you know the school logo?"

oh. sungchan knows. "...that?" he mumbles tentatively. 

"yeah, that." the boy laughs at sungchan's scandalized expression. "i wasn't part of it, i was just there. my friends were the ones who did it." he clarifies, but sungchan is still baffled.

so, one night last tuesday, a couple of undergrads went to thrash the school logo with neon paints. those students were unfortunately caught on cctv, and they were most probably drunk at that time. sungchan guessed this boy got caught with them, probably laughing. nonetheless, he's here now. 

"is that thing hard?" the boy continues the conversation as sungchan goes back from thinking about the incident. 

"what the report or accounting?"

"reports, i know. so, accounting."

"i guess it depends if you wanna do it or not."

the boy raises a brow, "so do you wanna do it?"

"kinda, i don't know. sometimes i do, but now i just don't know why mr. kim's hotel has so much utility expense compared to the previous expense from march to may." sungchan grumbles, eyes glaring at his draft. 

"are there any clues?" 

sungchan snorts, "this isn't a mystery– but i guess these young adults who booked a room in june eighth to tenth used too much electricity for their so-called get together." that's not what he expects. why did sungchan not read this line before. "huh,"

"did i help?" he can't see the boy, but he knows he has his sly smile on. 

"very." 

"young adults, am i right?"

sungchan cracks up a grin, erasing the numbers on the fourth line of his draft and begins calculating again. that's why it won't balance. 

they go silent again, when sungchan figures out how to solve the activity. the boy goes back to the game he'd neglected in favor of sorting the books and talking to sungchan. as the clock ticks, sungchan wraps up the accounting activity and closes the soft copy. he then opens the word document with nothing but his name on it. should he do it? maybe yangyang can help him with this later.

sungchan looks up at the automated doors upon revealing a tired student who looks familiar. 

"hey, i'm taking over." he puts down his i.d on the counter attracting the boy's attention on the other side. 

"yeah, sure." he smiles at the other teasingly. "you didn't sleep?"

"dude i have the shift next to yours." 

the boy chuckles, patting his back when the tired boy sits on the chair he once occupied. he looks up from him to sungchan, who he finds watching the exchange across them. 

"you done?" 

"hm? oh, yeah. i'm just gonna ask my friend to help me with the report." sungchan stands up, gathering his things. he walks out the door with the boy, then he remembers, "who's the other guy?"

"oh, donghyuck?"

"is he the one who started the whole paint thing?" 

"yeah," the boy smiles, "aren't you gonna ask who i am?"

sungchan pretends to think. "maybe. who are you?"

"i'm chenle." 

sungchan looks at chenle, the lights from the library illuminate his pale face. "i'm sungchan. wanna go grab some coffee?"

chenle gapes at him, "at this hour?"

"ok, well, wanna grab some tea?"

"that would be very nice."

Chapter Text

It is the grandest event for the season. Season amongst men with suits and women with pearl necklaces. It isn't really a night of dancing, as much as the invitation likely told them, but more of business investments and boasting the newest land they've acquired. He was never one to attend this type of gatherings when he was younger. Although it is in the fact that he is allowed to sit in and be at home, with his maids and his playstation. 

Chenle isn't a kid now, and he's known that for quite some time. 

The golden soiree is golden for a reason. Golden as it is not the theme of the event, but golden meant for gold bars, and money, and cheques and talks about branching out to the world. He can't escape it anymore. His twenty-fifth birthday will arrive soon, Chenle isn't looking forward to it one bit. There will be more responsibility as the numbers add up. 

Truthfully, twenty four came an engagement. Twenty three came to pass on the company to him. Twenty five, twenty five, there will be something. He can feel it. 

The gust of a stare, he can also feel. The amount of will Chenle holds to not look at the person, focus on Mr. Kim asking his fiance about the beach resort in Daegu, is so tough to accomplish. So he gives it- him a quick glance. A look of acknowledgement. Nothing more. 

Chenle goes back to the problem; Mr. Kim wonders if they could branch out to Taiwan if all the properties available are off their announced budget. It is not his to worry, but the older man is asking so Chenle gives him a tentative smile. "If you ask your finance team, maybe they can do something. It is not easy to enter another market, but it is worth the risk." He smoothly answers with fake assurance. But Mr. Kim bought it, if the furrow in his brows are any indication that he's thinking. 

As his fiance continues to entertain the guest, Chenle entertains the eyes examining him from a distance. 

He sees Sungchan holding a champagne flute, he raises his own. Sungchan looks back to the person he's talking to, Chenle knows he's just flustered. 

It's not always like that with Sungchan. They used to at least be two feet apart. They all used to be two feet apart, Chenle tells himself. Sungchan, he is different. 

He pulled back not for Chenle's wealth. He pulled back not because he was overwhelmed by the amount of whispers came along with being friends with him. They weren't friends to begin with.

Sungchan is different. 

Their story goes back to twenty three. After Chenle became the new director of the company. It came another soiree that he needed to attend — and it was only his second time going to one. The issue was the crowd. 

He never liked being surrounded by men in suits and investment talks. Chenle has been cooped up in his big, hollow bedroom with his playstation and toys to be ready for this kind of interaction. So does the youngest son of the Jungs, apparently. 

A good note to be added that he was already dating his fiance at that time, and this is something– a mess that supposedly shouldn't had happen. 

Sungchan's car was available, he had gas, and as he arrived at the parking lot, he saw Chenle standing in the middle of the darkness unsure of what he was doing.

"You need something?" Sungchan is the first to utter a word. Chenle continues to stare. "The party was too boring for you to stand there and do nothing?"

"Where are you going?" Chenle ignores the sarcastic remarks. 

"Out of here." 

Sungchan has his fingers wrapped around the silver handle of the car. Chenle follows with his eyes as he puts it down to open the door of the driver's seat. He looks up noticing Sungchan has his eyes staring back at him. 

"Won't they notice?"

It makes the boy laugh in a cynical manner. "I'm the youngest Jung. No one cares about me." 

Chenle thinks how wrong he is. 

Their first getaway was the arcade. As perplexed as Chenle was the moment he saw the neon lights creating the buzzing electrical sound he heard upon exiting the car he complied. 

Sungchan is good at shooting games, but Chenle beats him in car racing. They didn't talk apart from the cursing and "you cheated" remarks. No one was wondering why two men in expensive black suits are sitting on a motorcycle stuck to a machine while screaming at each other. No one questioned, Chenle and Sungchan continued until their tokens ran out. 

They ate at a fast food chain. At this point, Chenle isn't sure where the hell they are. He's just thankful it is not in the soiree. 

They continue to not speak, until Sungchan turns off the engine at an almost empty parking lot. "Are you gonna kill me?" Chenle starts, noticing the two floor building across the parking lot. A sign in front which he can't decipher for it is sideways. 

"No, I don't have any weapons." Sungchan snorts, taking off his seatbelt. "I thought you joined me for something else?" 

Chenle snaps his head from the sign to Sungchan's face. Half of it is hidden by the darkness of the night. 

"Do you want to?" 

Chenle realized after that it was wrong. But back then, he only thought of what's underneath that million dollar suit. He shouldn't have. 

He has a boyfriend, he chants to himself as Sungchan wanders his hands on his skin. Planting his lips to every single line, every single part. Chenle takes and he makes sure to let him know. 

He has a boyfriend, Chenle quietly thinks as Sungchan sinks in, teeth enjoying the curves of Chenle's neck. He enjoys it, he sought for the warmth all night long. It finally came. 

He pants, Sungchan gives his mouth one last piece of him and then he lets go. They clean up and they don't talk about it after. 

Sungchan says a mumbled good night, Chenle replies with the same minimal effort. 

The hope that it's the worst thing he's done for the night is ruined when Chenle manages to grab his phone and do the thing he ultimately shouldn't have done. 

He massages a friend, Donghyuck. A journalist, a good and a dangerous one. He tells him about the youngest Jung, leaving out the detail that they fuck and it was good. He tells Donghyuck that he found Jung leaving at the middle of the soiree, and he's at a motel. Donghyuck doesn't question how Chenle found out. A headline is a headline. 

It's when he hears the other snoring that Chenle fixes himself and leaves.

The next day an article about the youngest heir of the Jung family was caught sleeping with someone at a motel. No one knew who the other person was, but they found a clueless Sungchan leaving the building with a loose tie around his neck and visible marks on his collarbone. All eyes on him ever since. 

Chenle takes himself back to his current place, right next to Jisung. Next to his fiance who doesn't know all the shit that went behind his back. He takes his eyes back to Sungchan who stares at him again before smiling at the person he's with. 

"Hyung, wanna leave this place?" Chenle hears Sungchan say, beaming and pure. 

The boy with a nice smile, that could melt anyone who sees it, teasingly says, "Where are you taking me?"

"The arcade." 

"I knew it." 

Sungchan held out his hand for the other to hold. Chenle didn't want to formally admit that his heart cracked. He isn't sure why; it was one night. One night that he knew shouldn't have taken place He should focus on the wedding with Jisung, his company, and his own life. 

But as Sungchan and the other guy leaves, Chenle frowns.

At twenty five there will be regret. 

Chapter Text

whenever the bride and groom walk out of the church, hand in hand, with a newfound happiness in each other's arms, it's the best time for sungchan to capture their faces. they're sparkling, they're overjoyed – and there's nothing worth taking than two people being happy with each other. 

this afternoon, he witnessed his cousin get married to a man who he's been loving for almost a decade. finally, after a long feud with his family about marrying another man has been settled, they're finally walking down the aisle to the front doors as the other guests throw flower petals to their path. 

sungchan situated himself at the end of the carpet, just a few drops down the cobalt stairs of the church. he kneels, angles the lenses of his camera to the perfect one to capture the grooms' smiles. taeyong, his cousin, has his lips curled into the biggest grin as his now-husband guides him down the stairs. it looks like he couldn't help it, sungchan thinks as he clicks the camera once more, so taeyong twirls to face his husband. he kisses him, everyone swoons. sungchan almost forgets to take multiple shots of it. 

taeyong grips johnny's neck, and the taller guy holds onto his waist. the carpet is a little too crooked, and they're standing on a flight of stairs – sungchan sees the danger coming. 

and it does come, as taeyong moves to the side a little, still in the same position – hands on johnny's neck as they continue to kiss. they fall unceremoniously to the guests on their right. a commotion ensues, all with worry and laughter. 

sungchan captures it with a chuckle. 

"please tell me you got that." taeyong clings to sungchan once the guests enter their cars one by one to head to the reception place. 

sungchan grins, pushing his camera so his cousin can see. "i got it all from the kiss to you almost having a concussion."

taeyong laughs out loud, alerting some of their relatives. he waves at them and tells them to drive safely. "well, i need you to be at the reception, too."

"of course i'll be there. i'm your cousin." sungchan shrugs as the groom lets go of him. "also because i'm being paid to do this."

"glad you understand."

the reception was nothing sort of boisterous, but sungchan never expected anything different. especially if there's loud music, dancing, and wine.  he's gone through enough weddings to get used to this scene. it always makes him happy somehow. knowing there is someone who got the person they want to be with for the rest of their lives. 

getting his camera in front of his face again, he takes photos of the guests and the grooms. as sungchan moves his body to capture every table, a light tap interrupts him. 

"have you eaten?" the voice mumbles beside him. sungchan guides his camera slightly away from his face to look at the intruder. "you've been standing all day." 

"it's kinda my job." sungchan snickers, biting at the donut pushed in front of his face. he chews for a while, taking more pictures for good measure. "why haven't you gone home, though? your job is done." 

"want me to leave you?"

"are you here for me, chenle?" sungchan questions, quirking an eyebrow at chenle. the guy isn't quite his friend, but he's seen him at few ceremonies to call him an acquaintance. maybe a coworker, too. 

"no, but i have to talk to the grooms later." he gives sungchan a pointed look. "you know, ask if they liked the decorations and all."

sungchan hums. "you always plan the best weddings." it's as casual as it can be, but it's the truth. sungchan's been to a lot of weddings, has he said that already? and maybe most of them were planned by chenle, so he knows what he's saying. he's allowed to compliment chenle on that. "i bet your wedding would be impressive as well."  

"if i get married, that is." chenle has the courtesy to snort at his own response.

it ends just like it always does, little by little the guests slip away to their vehicles after wishing the couple a happy marriage and their best wishes. sungchan waits until the end to leave, since most of these people still want to take photos with the newlyweds. he is getting paid for this. 

chenle stands next to him as he captures the last stroke of guests wanting to take photos with taeyong and johnny. 

after that, chenle greets them happily, hugging taeyong and almost being squished by johnny. they thanked him for being understanding and patient and all the more wonderful for partaking in their special event. sungchan stands there, looking at their happy faces, his heart swells with joy. 

he thinks of the time taeyong went to him when his parents didn't approve of their engagement the first time, it was his third year of being an events photographer. he promised his cousin he'll be at the wedding, taking their pictures. it's what held him to continue this job, he wants to capture happiness. he wants to capture genuine beauty. 

sungchan's eyes moves to chenle, cracking a joke at the couple. he absentmindedly holds his camera up, clicks the shutter, forgets the flash is on.

chenle turns to him, eyes filled with curiosity. "were you taking a picture of us?"

i was taking a picture of you.

"yes." sungchan fiddles with the strap. "so you can have a remembrance, a souvenir, together. face here. smile." he lamely proceeds, hands slightly shaking from the embarrassment of almost being caught. chenle gives him another glance, one that he cannot decipher. 

sungchan will have to talk to him later. 

Chapter Text

the night looks grave, somewhat eerie. no sounds except for the scattered crickets rounding about the bushes of his neighbor's lawn, chatting at each other. nothing was new to the scenery, in fact, nothing is in the scenery. aside from the flickering orange lights of the lamp posts on each block. it never ceases to give a shiver down chenle's spine. 

six o'clock 

no one should be out at this time. chenle, he has an excuse, the two bags of plastics smelling a bit of everything from the plastic wraps of sausages they ate for breakfast to the shampoo bottle that has been replaced just yesterday afternoon. it smells smokey and like a garden of flowers at the same time. if someone corners him, the mixture of odors would be enough to get him home safe. still, he checks the streets for watchers.

clapping his hands, an attempt to brush away the residual dust from the bags, chenle makes his way back to their gate. a rustling behind the car parked across their house stops his movement. 

a grunt, an annoyed one, much like how chenle sounded when donghyuck stole the sunny side up he cooked for himself the other day. 

"who-"

chenle stops his words as the person emerges from the side of the car. he's panting, eyes blown wide in fear more than anything. chenle knows it's fear, he's seen it through living in this place his entire life. 

"who are you?"

the man, chenle frowns upon inspecting that he is taller than him by at least a head, gasps walking straight to him. chenle backs up a little. "who am i?" he scrambles, patting his dull clothes for any indention of his identity. 

"your pass." 

"my what?"

that's strange. and for once, chenle isn't sure he wants to help the stranger. 

a spy is common. a spy sent by the higher ups to check on the citizens, to see if anyone opposes the same policies they've had for almost three decades. the confusion of the man reminds him of the incident two years back. one of the settlers on the block behind theirs befriended a mysterious man, one they've grown fond of. they eventually became friends – lovers, some might say – that lead to the settler disappearing. until days later, a councilor announced that they've been imprisoned for speaking ill of the policies. they never heard of them again, but unknowing civilians get trapped in a dangerous kinship every time.  

chenle couldn't possibly trust a stranger hidden behind a parked car. 

"everyone has one." chenle continues, "if you don't have a pass you can get caught by the watchers." 

"i...i don't." 

it might have been a stupid idea, but chenle can't help the eyes that looked at him that time. they look so innocent and lost that what he replied wasn't exactly well thought of. 

"come inside, let's chat there." 

if chenle sees the glare donghyuck sent his way as he explains about the man without a name that appeared from behind a car, he tells himself it's just donghyuck being himself. it's just him trying to get mad but cannot, because he loves chenle like a real brother. 

"up here," chenle gives his hand out for the man to take. "so you can take a good look of the place. at least not outside." 

they're on the roof; somewhere outside, but somewhere safe. chenle slides himself further so the man can sit next to him. 

"do you have a name? you don't have a pass." he scrutinizes the man's movement while the other busies himself into finding the most comfortable seat. "if you left them at your house, and if you're not from here i don't even know how you got out the checkpoint." 

"i-" the man lifts the hem of his shirt. chenle quickly looks at the sky, coughing at the sudden action. "here." 

chenle looks back to him, sees a name embroidered on the tag. "sungchan." he frowns. "is that your real name?"

sungchan shrugs. "it's what they call me." 

more questions, more doubts. chenle swallows them down and changes them to empathy. they are all a little lost in this dark, confusing society. whoever sungchan is, where he came from, chenle can get a bit skeptical but he can also agree to help him find his way back. 

"i'm guessing you have a family? you should go to them. it's not safe without a pass nor it is encouraged to roam around as you wish. unless you're well off then, you can just call your relatives and pay a fine." 

"i have- i have no idea what you're talking about." sungchan looks down at the empty street. the other lamp post completely died down now. "i only remember running from them because they wanted to poke me with something. i don't know what it is. i don't know who they are." 

chenle knits his eyebrows together, thinking of ways to understand the information but he can't. although he understands, the people up there do inhumane things he doesn't want to know about. 

"we can't take you in too, sungchan." chenle jokes, a bit bittersweet as he stares at the pure eyes of the man he met not even thirty minutes ago. "i don't know if there's a place for you here." 

sungchan sighs. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean it like that. i can go back there. i was just curious how the outside looked. i only saw the garden inside the facility, and..." he trails off, smiling sadly at chenle. "your name is chenle? i heard your brother say it awhile ago." 

"kun? no he's not, i mean, he is kind of my brother. but we are not related." 

"everyone is your brother here?" 

"i guess."

"everyone is my brother there, too."

chenle stays silent, finding a similarity between a new found acquaintance should make him beam – finally, something they can talk about – but no, having brothers, not by blood but by circumstances is strange. it only scares him how the world works. 

further inspecting sungchan, he looks like he's been pampered well in that place. his hair is a bit long, but he seems well bathed, his clothes are clean, khaki shorts and beige shirt. chenle looks at his own unmatched socks, one of them might be jeno's.    

"do you have spare space for me tonight, though?" sungchan asks. "i promise i will be out before you wake up."

"you can't."

"can't what?"

"streets open at five in the morning. we almost always wake up at that time." chenle smiles, warmer this time. "you can stay however long you want. i'm sure kun and doyoung won't mind." 

Chapter Text

it was after three hours of morning practice, just a little way for their dance teacher to wake them up and stretch those limbs. sungchan wanted coffee, their manager was probably called on to a meeting which is why he couldn't see him anywhere near the dance studio. instead of waiting for him, sungchan decided that maybe making coffee on his own won't be too bad. he's made one for himself approximately two (2) times in the company kitchen. in which seulgi from red velvet almost felt bad for him the first time he had to use the coffee machine. his sunbaenim was having her dessert break and had to help him plug the damn thing in. 

he's learned after those two attempts. the second one was almost good, this one should be better. 

sungchan makes his way to the kitchen, a few rooms away from where the studio they're using is. no one was there when he entered, he figures it's a great way to practice his usage for the machine. just as he's opening the fridge, waiting for the water to boil, sungchan hears chattering from the outside. it's about eleven in the morning, who has enough vocal chords to waste at this time? apparently these people have.

"what? where?" sungchan hears a grunt close enough to the wall separating the hallway from the kitchen and finds out it's his haechan hyung. he hears the sole of the rubber shoes squeaking from the newly cleaned tiled floor, before he knows it haechan is knocking on the wall. "hey, jinsu." 

sungchan looks up from the ice cream tub he sees in the freezer, wondering if it's owned by someone, to haechan who's looking at him expectantly. "hi, hyung." 

"hey, so uh, do you have your phone?"

"what why?" he asks, already reaching for it in his pocket. 

"jisung forgot his password for the delivery app, and i don't have the app he has. he told me you have it?" 

in hindsight, haechan has many options, one is to just download the app to his phone but that would take too much time. he has to sign up and enter his card, or whatever. so the best thing is to borrow sungchan's phone, jisung's password configuration will take too long. 

"oh, yeah, sure. you guys having lunch together?" sungchan hands his phone to haechan. the older grabs it, but a light bulb perks up metaphorically above sungchan's head reminding him of something. "wait-" he mumbles and takes his phone back to unlock it; he tells himself it's to spare his hyung from looking for the app and save some time. is it though? 

when he looks at the older again, haechan is squinting his eyes suspiciously. "okay, thank you." he backs away slowly.

once his phone is in the hands of his trusted (debatable) and most loved hyung, sungchan gets busy with the coffee he was making–before he got distracted by the ice cream and haechan's request.

"oh?" 

sungchan hears another voice enter the premises. as he places the cup on the table, sungchan realizes that the bomber jacket looks familiar. his eyes train back to his coffee, and he looks like a fool just hunching there awkwardly as the figure crosses the table. 

"coffee?" the voice says again, by now sungchan got back up to his normal posture to send the spoon onto the sink. 

"yeah, you want?" with much contemplation and nervousness, sungchan managed to say three mediocre words. good for him, he pats himself mentally. 

"nah, i had some americano before getting here." he laughs, and sungchan looked up on time to witness the whisker-like dimples showing on the other's cheeks as he smiled wide. 

he swallows, wishing his heart isn't stupidly loud at its pumping now that he's face-to-face with chenle again. how long has it been anyway? a week, maybe two? he looks good with the ash-blonde-silver thing going on with his hair. sungchan is slightly jealous he gets to play with hair colors. he's only gotten black and brown hair lately. but chenle, why does this boy have to look good in every hair color, really? and each color gives him different personas. it's kinda insane if you ask sungchan. 

"oh, uh, okay." sungchan nods, gulping the hot liquid of his coffee to wake him up. he's always a mess in front of chenle. if he's not yet obvious of this...admiration, then chenle is dumb. which he isn't so it's possible that he's not interested. 

while he sips the warm coffee on the farthest side of the table, chenle opens the tub of vanilla ice cream and grabs a few cereal boxes from the cupboard. they don't speak, sungchan just watches chenle do whatever he's doing. until haechan goes back to give sungchan his phone, but the younger was already washing the cup of his coffee, so chenle had to get it for him.

"hey hyung! you didn't use my card did you?"

haechan chuckles instead of responding.

"you let me buy a grill one time, come on!" he whines, putting the cup to the drying rack as well as the spoon.

"you put your card details on the app?" chenle questions. sungchan could feel the judging gaze, but there's amusement hinted at in the words he said. "you're too nice, sungchan." 

sungchan let's himself smile, then it hits him. 

chenle has his phone. maybe-

"did you like it?" 

sungchan continues to stare at the sink, heat creeping on his neck that hopefully isn't turning red from embarrassment. his haechan hyung did it on purpose because he loves teasing sungchan a lot. 

"i like the crazy jalapeño more, but the boring jalapeño looks quite pretty too, right?" chenle adds when sungchan remains standing still on the side. 

"yeah," sungchan manages to say, giving himself the confidence to face chenle. "you look really pretty with the beret, too. really suits you." 

chenle answered with a smile, giving sungchan his phone back. the taller man opens his phone, the lockscreen–chenle sitting on a leather chair with candies falling from his hand, the beret sitting nicely on top of his dyed hair–staring at him until it turns into black again and all he sees is his embarrassed face. 

"well," chenle clears his throat. "i gotta share this with the others, so" he grabs the bowl of ice cream with different cereals. 

"yeah, sure. i have to get back to practice in a while, too. good luck on your comeback." sungchan says, with a tight lipped smile. he won't see chenle in a few days again. this whole thing is funny and draining at the same time; crushing on your bandmate. 

"thanks, and oh, sungchan." chenle whispers once he's close to the exit. sungchan eyes him curiously. "i can send you some pictures of me with the beret if you want." 

Chapter Text

festival season is probably— definitely the most exciting time in the little old town of theirs. illuminating the path along the night market are tiny light bulbs hanging from one post to the other. chenle always makes sure to clear his schedule for this. for an eighteen year old, there sure are so many things to do. from upcoming exams to going to the academy for extra classes. although it's all study and chores, it shouldn't be a big deal tonight. 

the town is buzzing with happiness and the delicious smell of street foods. mr. ahn is selling fried cheese on a stick, and the twins from next door are helping their mom sell kebabs. it's fun, it's everything chenle waited for for at least a whole year. 

the festival only happens a week into the summer, and he wants to enjoy just a little bit before he goes back to pending assignment.

"ferris wheel! come on let's go!!" chenle gets pulled out of his thoughts and into the line for the ride. donghyuck squeals and squeezes chenle's arm accidentally. 

he doesn't mind. the rides are the best part aside from the food. they didn't get to ride the ferris wheel last time since jisung didn't like high rides at all.

once they're in front of the metal barrier, donghyuck shouts at someone from across them. he motions the other guy to come closer and pulls him right next to him. chenle didn't have the strength to step forward, and the staff is already signalling donghyuck and his other friend to go in. 

oh, great. chenle thinks he'll have to share the booth with someone he doesn't know. why does donghyuck have so many friends? 

"h- hey," someone mumbles, following chenle's movements to sit next to him. 

"oh," chenle looks up once he's strapped and impossible to fall. "hi, sungchan." 

he might not look the part, however, he is truly trying his best not to scream at the operator to stop the ride. sungchan is (was?) a close friend, until three days before summer vacation when he confessed that he has a crush on chenle.

(it was another day, but they all know after this and two more days, that it's summer. although that bit is fine, after summer means their senior year. 

jisung has been relentlessly worrying about what he should take in college; afraid that he might not even qualify for the university he wants. which is why he's running towards the vending machine to cool off, leaving chenle with sungchan. 

his other tall friend has been quiet this whole time. while jisung was whining about something that will happen in more than a year from now, sungchan seems to be troubled by something of now.

chenle leans closer, opening his mouth to speak, "are yo--"

"i like you." sungchan says, quickly, at the same time. "i, uh, it's been a while..."

chenle didn't have much to add, because jisung is already back with drinks.)

and so, he's been ignoring sungchan for almost two weeks. jisung hasn't mentioned him once, but he looked like he didn't even know what was happening between his two friends. 

now, though, the ferris wheel has moved up, and they're currently atop the ride. chenle could see the food stalls up until the arc in front of the park's gate. he stares at it for a moment...and a few more moments. 

sungchan isn't speaking either; it feels like they both just want to get out of here and not speak until next school year. 

"eh?" 

chenle's ears perked at the visibly confused words from donghyuck. he's seated at the booth in front of chenle's. he furrows his eyebrows and looks down to see what's up. 

"there have been some technical issues. we ask for your patience, and do not panic. we will fix it as soon as possible." the operator announces. chenle wants to jump, but he won't because that's stupid. 

he can stay quiet, turn his head to his right the whole time and appreciate this night with the lights and the sounds of laughter from the people in their neighborhood. 

instead, though as hard as he tries not to, he could feel sungchan fidgeting next to him. his tall limbs knocking his ankle and shoes when he moves. he gets antsy when he's stuck in one place.

chenle would know, they went to an escape room once and sungchan solved the passcode in record time just because he didn't want to stay in that room longer. jaemin complained about it the whole ride back. 

after fifteen minutes, there were still no movements from the ride. chenle still hasn't utter a word, and sungchan continues to tap the metal bar in front of them. he inhales and exhales, chenle wants to comfort him like he always does. but the awkwardness of knowing this person he's stuck with in the ferris wheel is the same person who confessed to him two weeks ago, and the same person who put salt in his sujebi when they were stuck in sungchan's house during a heavy storm. chenle could only sigh, what a mess (that he can totally fix if he's not so stubborn).

donghyuck is happily engaging in a conversation with his friend, who chenle later finds out is jeno. the crowd below is doubling, they're wondering what's taking it so long. some people in the line dispersed and gave up their turn. chenle hears an audible, shaky sigh come from sungchan.

twenty five minutes, the ferris wheel had moved a little two minutes ago. someone is crying from the booth below them. sungchan was singing a song that came out three days ago. chenle likes that song, too. he figured sungchan would recommend it to him if he didn't already see it on the melon homepage that day. if he didn't he wouldn't know the song since the one friend he shares his music taste with isn't talking to him. 

it took some time for chenle to actually assess what he wanted to say to sungchan after that confession. he didn't get the chance to, though. now, now he has the chance. the operator announced that the machine will be fixed in the next five minutes. 

it's taking him days, and now mere minutes, to have the courage to say it. frankly, he could have just shouted it when sungchan quietly told him he likes chenle. but you know, tongue tied and shit. and chenle was in shock, who could blame him? his friend, his very good friend likes him. how does one react when put into a similar situation? especially when that friend is the same person you've had a crush on for the longest of time. 

do you just accept it?

do you get scared?

or, do you ignore them for weeks until you get stuck on a ferris wheel and have to face the reality that you can't keep hiding this feeling forever? 

chenle bites down his lower lip, steals a glance at sungchan who's busy thumbing the keyring on the wallet inside his pocket. he hides the smile creeping on his face, that's stage three of antsy sungchan: twirl mr. bread the keyring when he wants his hands to be occupied. 

chenle hears donghyuck sweetly asks what time it is to jeno who has the cool looking silver watch on his right wrist. he said seven thirty two. chenle remembers the operator's announcement the ferris wheel will go back to normal at seven thirty five. it means he still has...three minutes. 

among deep breaths and deep thoughts, chenle doesn't want to stall any longer. he's admitted it to himself. he's admitted it to mr. bread the keyring once during the time sungchan left his wallet to him when he went to the comfort room. he can say it to sungchan, too. 

here goes nothing (or everything). he takes a breath, one he knows sungchan wouldn't hear. chenle can be quiet when he wants to, he's been quiet the whole time. 

opening his mouth, he turns to sungchan, "i like you too."

"i'm sorry for--" sungchan blurts out, eyes opening like a saucer. "what?"

"why are you sorry?" shit, chenle wonders, does sungchan not like him anymore? 

"i, uh, you like me?" sungchan stares at him, stares at his soul, with so much confusion.

the clogs turn and the booth suddenly sways, donghyuck gasps in surprise from the booth in front of theirs. but chenle and sungchan continue to stare dumbly at each other. 

the staff opens the door of their booth, allowing them to exit with an apology of what occurred thirty minutes ago. sungchan walks blindly in front of chenle and stops when they're no longer along the path where people walk. chenle looks around, for donghyuck, for food he wants to buy after this talk, to completely avoid the eyes sungchan have on him. 

"you like me?" 

there goes the cat again, chenle sighs staring at the grey kitten fighting with the trash bags. 

"you apologized?" chenle counters, fleeing his gaze from the stray back to sungchan. 

"because i thought i made things awkward-- i did but, you know. i want to say that i'm going to try my best to ignore my feelings for you, but," 

"but i like you, too." chenle repeats. "it's my fault, chan. i was doing my best not to let you know i have a crush on you, then you just had to utter the same phrase i've been practicing since we were sixteen. and, now." chenle lets out a breath, glaring at sungchan. "now what?"

sungchan points his thumb to the left, "...now, do you want something to eat? i was so worried up there that i got hungry." 

chenle allows himself to laugh, patting sungchan's arm, empathetically. "i know, you were scratching mr. bread's design the whole time."

"we'll talk. about this." sungchan looks down to chenle's face with a smile so pure, he almost forgets sungchan hid his leather shoes after p.e that one time in ninth grade. "right now, i'm really hungry." he ends with a pout, and chenle has nothing but endearment towards the boy he got stuck in a ferris wheel with.