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Sho had just finished doing the dishes when he heard the doorbell ring.
It was weird to hear that sound for two reasons: first, it was almost ten and it was too late for someone to come by; and second, since he had moved into that apartment three months ago, he had never received any visits. After all, he had moved to a whole different country, and didn’t really know anyone there in Shanghai apart from his Japanese colleagues at the office, who would usually go back to their families as soon as the work day was over.
He dried his hands on a towel, eyebrows knitted together as he walked to the door. The doorbell rang again, and this time a knock came too. Whoever it was, they were apparently very impatient for Sho to open up.
“Who is it?” Sho yelled in English in the general direction of the door.
There was a short pause, as if the person on the other side wasn’t sure that he heard correctly. And then:
“Sho-chan?”
It had been a while since anyone had called him that. He was in his thirties already, and no one, apart from his closest friends and sometimes his mom, would call him ‘Sho-chan.’ There was only one person who wouldn’t call him any other way, but not only was that person supposed to be back in Japan, they were also supposed to be getting married today.
Wondering if he was losing his mind once and for all, Sho hesitantly opened the door.
“Aiba?” he whispered, not believing his eyes.
The other man nodded sheepishly.
“What are you doing here?”
“I needed to talk to you,” Aiba said.
Still dumbstruck, Sho let him in. Aiba murmured a soft ‘thank you’ as he closed the door behind him and stepped into Sho’s apartment.
“This is nice,” he said, looking around.
Sho didn’t reply to that. “What are you doing here?” he repeated, this time with a slightly harsher tone.
It seemed like Aiba didn’t miss the change in his attitude, because he looked down for a second before speaking up. “Three months ago, Nino told me you were moving to China because of me. He told me that I should have come to the airport to stop you, but I couldn’t. Not before I set things right.” Aiba looked at Sho to get some sort of confirmation that he could keep talking, but it never came. He continued nonetheless. “You were right, Sho-chan. You all were. It never should have gone this far, the abuse, the wedding,” he looked deep into his eyes, “what I did to you.”
Sho nodded slightly, and Aiba took that as a sign that he could go on.
“I know what I did to you was terrible. Sleeping with you when I knew you had feelings for me and telling you to forget about it in the morning.” Aiba looked ashamed as he said those words. “I don’t know why I did it. I guess at the time I was just feeling lost, and desperate. And you…” a beat. “You’ve always been there for me, Sho-chan. You’ve always been my best friend, and you’ve never asked for anything in return. So I selfishly thought I could take your love without thinking about your feelings.” Aiba’s eyes started watering, but he didn’t cry. “And when I found myself alone, truly alone, because I didn’t even have you by my side, I found the strength to call it off. The wedding… Everything.”
“Everything?” Sho asked softly.
Aiba nodded. “I got a restraining order against her. She won’t be able to hurt me anymore. And it was thanks to you, Sho-chan,” he said, confident. “The way you loved me was so selfless, that it made me believe that maybe I was worthy of it. I realized that…” his voice broke, “I deserve better.”
Despite the suffering Aiba had put him through, Sho was relieved to hear those words. “I’m glad,” he said sincerely, as a wave of emotions came over him and threatened to make him cry.
“But you do too,” Aiba continued. “Which is why I didn’t come here to win you back or to force you to be with me, if it’s not what you want. You deserve so much better than this fucked up mess I’ve left you with.” Sho could see that his cheeks were now wet with silent tears. “But if there’s even a tiny chance that you might still love me, then I’m willing to take things as slow as you want and do anything in my power to prove that I can give you what you deserve.” He smiled weakly. “That’s also why I waited so long before telling you all this. I needed to make sure that my feelings for you were real, that I wasn’t just afraid of being alone.”
The silence stretched between them for a few seconds. Sho processed everything Aiba told him under his watchful eyes. He still loved his best friend, more than he could ever express in words. But…
“You hurt me so much, Aiba-kun. And I don’t think my heart will ever be the same,” Sho found the courage to say. “I’m happy, truly, that you’re getting your life back on track. But I don’t think I can do this.”
Aiba nodded sadly. “I’m so sorry for that. And I know that sorry doesn’t fix it, but I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you,” he promised. “No matter where you will be, I will be cheering you on.”
“Thank you.” There was nothing Sho could have said but that.
Aiba’s smile to him was sad, but sincere. He bowed his head slightly, and turned around to go.
“You can stay the night,” Sho called after him.
Aiba shook his head, but didn’t turn around. “It’s fine. I’ll get a taxi back to the hotel. I got a room near the airport.”
“When are you leaving?”
“Tomorrow, in the evening,” Aiba said, opening the door. “I just needed to talk to you in person.”
“And you came all the way to China for that?”
Aiba crossed the threshold and finally turned around. “Some things are worth fighting for, aren’t they, Sho-chan?” And with that, he closed the door behind him, leaving Sho unable to do anything but listen to him walk away.
***
Sho’s job at the Chinese branch was not as exciting as he hoped for. Since he couldn’t speak Chinese, he was always asked to prepare the news reports and generally stand in front of a computer the whole day.
“Fuck,” Sho whispered as he read the same sentence for the third time that day without understanding it.
“Sakurai-san?” His only other colleague in the office at that moment, Nezumi, looked at him confused.
“Sorry, I need to go.” Sho got up suddenly and rushed to throw his stuff in his briefcase.
“Go?” She asked, shocked. “Go where?”
Sho ignored her. He grabbed his coat in one hand and his briefcase in the other and ran out.
He sprinted down the stairs, jumping the steps two at a time. The office was nearly empty at that time of night, so he didn’t bump into many people when he got to the lobby. He distractedly excused himself, but he didn’t really care.
He pushed the doors of his office open with force, making the guard standing outside look at him weird, and got into one of the usual taxis standing outside.
“To the airport, please,” he said to the taxi driver in English.
Sho took his phone from his pocket and sent a message to Nino, hoping that he’d see it in time. He spent the whole ride to the airport checking his messages, but Nino came through for him right as he got to his destination.
Sho paid the driver and ran out, calling the number Nino had just sent him. The dial tone rang twice before the call was picked up.
“Hello?”
“Where are you?”
“Sho-chan?” Aiba’s voice sounded confused.
“Where are you?” Sho repeated, looking around for any sign of him.
“At the airport, about to cross security, why?”
“Stop!” he almost yelled. “Okay? Just stop there. I’m coming.”
For the second time that evening, Sho didn’t care that he was bumping into people while running. He had only one thought in mind, and he couldn’t focus on anything else but that right now.
As he approached security, he saw him. Aiba was standing against the wall with his carry-on at his feet, looking around.
When Sho stopped right in front of him, he made a surprised noise, but Sho didn’t let him speak.
“I don’t care about it,” he said in between his panting.
“What?” Aiba looked at him with wide eyes.
“I can’t believe you’re making me do this, Masaki.” Sho saw Aiba hold his breath when he called his first name. “You know I hate cheesy romantic comedies, and yet I’m here like a damn cliché to stop the man I love from getting on a plane.” Sho shook his head in mild annoyance. “I don’t know if this is what I deserve or not, but I want it all. The fucked up mess, the history, the baggage. I want it all if it means I get to have you.”
“Sho-chan…” Aiba started.
“Masaki,” Sho put a hand on his mouth to interrupt him. “Just fucking kiss me, alright?”
At Aiba’s nod, Sho moved his hand, but he didn’t even have the time to take it off completely before he found Aiba’s lips on his, spreading his giggles in his mouth. Everything in him, from his brain, to his body, to his heart was screaming Aiba, Aiba, Aiba.
They parted, linking their foreheads, heartbeats mixing together with their breaths. Aiba looked up at him with a twinkle in his eyes Sho had never seen before. And suddenly, like a flower blooming after winter, his lips curved up.
Sho chuckled happily. Finally, after a very long time, he had seen Aiba smile again. And while closing his eyes and kissing him softly again, a passing thought came to his mind: some things really were worth fighting for.