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Toni was bone tired. Every muscle in her body seemed to be throbbing with a dull ache. She could only imagine how much worse it would feel in the morning. It had been a grueling two hours of basketball practice tonight but the team had to be prepared for playoffs. They were only a week and a half away so it was no wonder coach pushed them so hard. Being the captain, Toni was expected to set the example, and her calves were still burning from those end of practice suicides. She might’ve beat the others to the line every time, but she was paying the price for it now.
She looked up towards the clear night sky as she walked out into the empty school parking lot. Minnesota might not have too many charms, but beyond the never ending snow and the narrow minded people, the unobstructed blanket of stars overhead never failed to catch Toni’s attention every night. Stole the breath right out of her lungs sometimes. Although tonight that could just be the biting cold to blame. Aside from Marty, those stars were about the only thing that she found comfort in. They’d never leave her, never not show up. They were one of the few constants in her life. With a shiver, Toni shoved her hands deeper into the pockets of her jacket and started for home.
She peered around the parking lot, noticing a truck parked under one of the street lamps not too far from her. She didn’t recognize it. Couldn’t be a teammate’s or the coach’s. Everyone else had already left. It was normal for Toni to lag behind. She preferred the others not knowing that she walked home. Kept her from dealing with pitying looks and awkward conversations. She cared about and trusted her team, but she hated explaining her living situation to the girls. They already knew she was a foster and that was enough.
Toni was curious, sure, but not enough to investigate the truck. At least, she wasn’t planning on it. But then she heard something that sounded a lot like yelling coming from inside. It was only natural the way her fight or flight response kicked in. And after all the suicide laps she had just done, she wasn’t quite up for running.
Toni’s steps were sure and solid as she closed the distance to the old pick up. The blue paint job and the beat up toolbox in the bed of the truck looked familiar but Toni couldn’t place it. And the cold air had the windows too fogged up for her to see who was inside. Her attention was snatched away by the voices she could hear pretty clearly now. The words were muffled, but she could make them out all the same.
“I don’t understand why you’re so set on this. Nobody our age actually sticks to that anymore. Hell, Nick and Elizabeth did it months ago!” It was a guy talking, more like yelling by the end of it.
“You don’t know that for sure. And even if they did, we’re not them. Imagine what our parents would think. What they would do.” This time it was a girl speaking. Her southern drawl was hard to miss even through the closed doors of the truck. It was what made it all click for Toni. She knew exactly who was inside. “It’s a sin, Andrew.” Now the girl had turned from exasperated to firm.
Toni wasn’t sure if she would cause more harm than good by getting involved, but the decision was soon made for her. Suddenly she heard movement in the cab of the truck along with a surprised yelp. Toni didn’t hesitate to rip open the closest door, which happened to be the passenger side. She wasn’t going to wait around to let the worst happen. But it was poor planning on Toni’s part.
The door’s old hinges groaned as it swung open, taking one Shelby Goodkind with it. The blonde must have been pressed up against the door, and since she wasn’t expecting it, was sent toppling backwards out. Andrew was leant across the bench, hands pressed into the seat from where his arms were previously bracketing his so-called girlfriend against her wishes.
Toni’s eyes had barely locked on Andrew’s surprised ones before she clocked what was going on. It was clumsy and not the smoothest of catches, but the captain tried her best to keep Shelby from hitting the pavement. The blonde’s back slammed into Toni’s chest as the back of her head caught Toni’s chin. With an audible grunt, Toni kept her arms securely around Shelby’s waist as she took the brunt of the fall. The basketball player could feel her bottom lip swelling, she was pretty sure she bit it when Shelby’s head collided with her face, but on the plus side she didn’t crack her skull open.
Both girls were roughed up, Shelby not as visibly as Toni, and sprawled out on the ground. It came as no surprise to her when Toni looked up to see Andrew gawking at them like a fish out of water as his head poked out of the open door. He’s the one who caused this, of course he’d be no help.
“Are you okay?” Toni’s voice came out rough and hoarse. She knew she had yelled too much at practice. Between the cold air and her calling drills all night, her voice was shot.
That blonde ponytail was suddenly replaced by confused green eyes peering back at her. “Toni? What- How did you- Are you okay?”
If Toni weren’t so focused on the other girl’s condition, she probably would’ve rolled her eyes at the way this was all going. “Pretty sure I asked you first. And I’m not the one who was getting manhandled by a horny douche bag.” She glared Andrew’s way.
Just like that, the boy seemed to remember what had just been interrupted and his anger was back. “I wasn’t manhandling her. I’m her boyfriend.”
“Still need consent, boyfriend or not, Andy boy.” Toni shot back dryly. She had seen enough domestic abuse jumping from one foster home to another. Didn’t take a genius to see when a relationship clearly wasn’t healthy.
Andrew sneered down at her, not once considering checking on Shelby who was still with Toni on the pavement, “Like you would fucking know.” He finally looked at Shelby, “Babe, let’s go. I’m sure we can find somewhere where we can be alone. Where people mind their own business.”
Shelby tried to sit up, relieving some of the pressure off of Toni’s chest. Only then did Toni realize that her arms were still around the blonde’s waist. She quickly snatched them away, as if they were on fire and not currently feeling in danger of frostbite. Shelby’s attempt to right herself didn’t last long. The moment she put pressure on her ankle she felt a sharp pain. She hid it well though. Andrew didn’t notice her wince, but Toni did.
“Andrew, I think it’s best that you just go home. I’m sure I can catch a ride with Toni. I’ll text you tomorrow.” Shelby spoke diplomatically. It was easy to forget that she was supposed to be talking to her boyfriend.
Fed up with the entire situation, the boy didn’t bother arguing. Just huffed out an irritated “whatever” and slammed the door shut before driving away. And they said chivalry was dead.
Toni took one glance at Shelby, huddled in on herself, eyes focused on the truck in the distance. She expected to see sadness or agitation from the Texan, but all she found was relief in the way the blonde’s shoulders finally relaxed when the taillights were out of sight.
Carefully, so as not to cause the other girl anymore discomfort, Toni removed herself from under Shelby. She moved so that she was crouched down in front of the blonde. Toni knew a sprained ankle when she saw one. Too many times did things on the court turn ugly for her to have not seen her fair share of them. Both on herself and her teammates. With the eyes and the hands of an athlete, Toni was quick to assess Shelby’s ankle. She had only just started to reach for the blonde’s boot when Shelby stopped her with a hand on her forearm.
“Toni- your lip is bleedin’.” Concern laced the pageant queen’s words.
In all the commotion Toni hadn’t even noticed. She swiped the back of her hand across her bottom lip. “No harm done. But I’m pretty sure you’ve got a sprained ankle there, princess.” The nickname came out without Toni’s permission. She wasn’t even sure why she said it.
“Guess that would make you my knight in shining armor then, wouldn’t it?” Shelby responded, a smile starting to pull at the corners of her mouth. She seemed to rethink her words before she added, “Maybe not. You were the one who caused me to fall after all.”
Toni couldn’t believe it. “Caused you to- Should I have just left you to fend off Andrew all by yourself then? Cause from where I was standing, you looked like you could use the help.” She was expecting a fight. Some harsh words thrown back at her. But all Toni was met with was an all too knowing smirk from Shelby. It frustrated her more. “You do realize that I don’t have a car, right?” Toni did roll her eyes this time, positive that the well-off girl in front of her never considered that. “Guess I can’t pull off the knight in shining armor gig when I’ve got no steed.”
Shelby studied the basketball player, green eyes tracking over her face. “Guess you’re not as committed to helpin’ a damsel as I thought.” She drawled in that heavy Texan accent, not once slipping up as she kept a straight face.
“Are you challenging me Goodkind?” Toni seemed to finally catch on to the girl’s teasing. “I’m insanely competitive.” Reflexively, Toni went to chew on her bottom lip but thought better of it. The stinging of her busted lip kept her from making that mistake.
“I’m aware. But without a car, that doesn’t mean much.” Shelby smiled softly at her this time. Toni thought she saw something like disappointment flash across the blonde’s face. But as quick as it showed, it disappeared. “I’m sure I could call my dad. He won’t be happy, but a ride’s a ride.”
“How far’s your place from here?” Toni asked innocently enough. Her eyebrow quirked at the other girl.
Shelby answered the question honestly, “ Not far. But I can’t really go walking with my ankle the way it is. Obviously.” She moved to pull her phone from her pocket when Toni stopped her.
Smirking, Toni spoke confidently, “You might not be able to walk there, but I can.”
“What do you mean-”
Shelby stopped herself as Toni stood straight up and offered a hand out to her. “C’mon. Just need you to stand up. Then I can give you a ride home on my back.”
“Didn’t know the great Toni Shalifoe gave piggy back rides,” Shelby joked to hide the way her heart leapt at the offer. How was it that something as innocent as Toni offering to carry her sent her pulse racing and her cheeks blazing? Andrew never had an effect on her like that. She wasn’t going down that rabbit hole again, the one where she got lost in thought comparing her boyfriend to a girl that had no business being on her mind in the first place. It would only lead to trouble.
She looked up at Toni, surrounded by a backdrop of stars with the glaring street lamp’s light bouncing off the errant wisps of hair that escaped her ponytail. Shaking her head at herself, Shelby was aware she had watched one too many romcoms. She tried not to doubt herself as her palm slipped into Toni’s. Calloused fingers wrapped around her hand as the brunette pulled her up, careful not to let her put any weight on her hurt ankle. Once she was safely upright, Toni crouched down in front of her, back to her, with her arms bent so that she could secure Shelby’s legs. The blonde stalled. She glanced uneasily at the back of Toni’s head. This felt like a slippery slope. But it was just a harmless piggyback ride, how bad could it be?
“You gonna hop on or am I gonna have to help you with that too, princess?” Toni mocked over her shoulder. No turning back now.
It was awkward at first. Shelby had to figure out how to get her legs through the loops of Toni’s arms without jostling her ankle. And then Toni had to heft them both off the ground. She recovered well, firming her hold on Shelby’s thighs before walking toward the parking lot exit. The blonde wasn’t sure what to do with her arms. There was really only one option. Slowly, so as Toni had time to tell her to let go if she wanted, Shelby wrapped her arms around the basketball player’s shoulders and neck. “Is this okay?” Her voice sounded wobbly even to her own ears. God, why was she making such a big deal out of something so normal?
Toni chuckled and Shelby could feel it, they were so close, “I offered remember? I’m not gonna break. Make yourself comfortable cause after the practice I just had, I can’t promise I’ll move fast.” So Toni was enjoying this more than she expected, sue her.
Shelby unconsciously tightened her arms around Toni, “Maybe this isn’t the best idea. If you’re all worn out from practice I mean. My dad could pick me up, it’s not a big deal.”
A dramatic sigh left Toni, “Goodkind, enough already. I told you. I got this.” She turned her head to the side to look at Shelby and shrugged, “It’s not like I don’t do this for Marty all the time. Used to do it for Regan too.” A memory of Regan on her back, nuzzling into her neck as they walked through a deserted parking lot much like this one flooded her mind. Toni abandoned that train of thought in favor of focusing on the girl she was currently carrying.
The Texan knew all about Regan. Or at least as much as a high school rumor mill was able to offer. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out with her.”
“You’re not, actually.” Toni responded coolly and Shelby was about to argue. She wasn’t sure where this demeanor was coming from. Had Toni noticed her watching in the hallways? Maybe she had gotten the wrong idea. She wasn’t disgusted by them. Envious more than anything. They weren’t ashamed of themselves, didn’t feel the burning need to hide how they felt. But she had a hard time admitting that to herself, much less anyone else. The blonde was about to clarify but then she noticed Toni trying and failing to hide a shit-eating grin. “Relax Shelby, I’m just fucking with you.”
Without thinking, Shelby lightly slapped the basketball player, “Screw you Shalifoe!”
“You offering?” Toni shot back. Shelby’s eyebrows shot up. This was getting dangerously close to something like flirting. Long gone were the days of Toni and Shelby picking fights with each other just to bring the other down a peg.
“You wish,” the blonde knew it was a weak comeback but it’s all she had. She looked around for a moment. “Do you even know where you’re goin’?”
“Nope.” Toni popped the p. “Figured you’d tell me if I was headed the wrong way. You’re paying attention right? Or am I too distracting?” The captain was feeling oddly sure of herself tonight. Sooner or later it was probably going to get her in trouble. She was flirting with a bible-loving straight girl after all. Maybe she had hit her head in the parking lot earlier.
Shelby scoffed at the insinuation. “Keep it up and you won’t be able to make it up and down the court. Your head’ll be too big, it’ll slow you down.”
They both laughed but it eventually died down to a peaceful kind of quiet. Quiet enough that they could hear the crickets chirping just off the side of the road. Or the crunching of gravel when the occasional car drove by. With each passing step, the two’s silent atmosphere grew, both lost in thought.
Toni focused on the way her shoes hit the pavement to keep herself from being consumed by the feeling of having Shelby Goodkind wrapped around her. The way the blonde’s perfume was hard to ignore. How her hands linked just over Toni’s sternum. Or how she could feel the pressure of Shelby’s chin on her shoulder as she finally settled into her. It was hard to believe that this was the same girl she spent the better part of a year hating. When the blonde first transferred in, she cozied up to Marty of all people within days. And Marty ate it up. Toni couldn’t begin to fathom what the pair could possibly have in common. One was a white, fake, bigoted, Jesus-loving church girl and the other was the sweetest, kindest soul Toni had ever met. It made her livid at first.
But then, be it by dumb luck, Toni stumbled across a crying Shelby Goodkind in the girl’s bathroom after school one day. The captain was just trying to find the closest place to change for practice. She was already running late from a tutoring session that had gone over. Money was always tight so occasionally Toni would help a freshman or two that was struggling with their English homework. Most of the time it made her wanna scoop her eyes out with a spoon, but cash was cash. She wasn’t expecting anyone else to be in the stalls of one of the least-used bathrooms on campus, but things never seemed to work out in Toni’s favor. No sooner had she stepped inside had she heard muffled sobs echoing off the tile walls. Against her better judgement, Toni stayed. The conversation was painfully awkward and the two never spoke on it afterwards, but it was a turning point for them. That was when the captain realized that maybe the pageant queen getup wasn’t all there was to the blonde.
Shelby on the other hand was fighting a losing battle in her own head. She had tried to keep herself from falling into temptation since Toni secured her on her back. It felt like she was always battling her inner demons whenever the basketball player was involved. Be it trying to rein in wandering eyes whenever she happened to make it to a game, green eyes searching for the number three jersey as if they had a mind of their own. Or watching as Toni chewed on the end of her pencil whenever precal class got a little too confusing. Things had taken a turn since that accidental meeting in the girl’s restroom. Shelby never explained to the other girl why she was crying. How the weight of her father’s expectations were too heavy of a burden to handle that day. Unexpectedly, the usual rage and fire behind those brown eyes seemed to dampen since then, replaced by something more quiet and watchful. It started to feel like Toni spent as much time studying Shelby as she did her. She’d catch the basketball player’s eyes on her in the middle of class or in the hallways. And stopping by Marty’s locker to talk seemed less of a hostile affair when Toni was nearby. Tonight was the first time the two of them had ever spoken like this. Alone and freely. And now Shelby was resisting every urge to let this all mean more than it did, Toni stepping in and helping her and carrying her home.
Without meaning to, Shelby let out a heavy sigh. Toni could feel it as it billowed warm against the side of her neck. “Doing alright there?” The captain asked, unsure if she really wanted an answer.
“Sorry. Just lost in thought, I guess.” Shelby felt a wave of embarrassment pass over her. She was glad Toni wasn’t looking at her, or else she would’ve seen the pink dusting the blonde’s cheeks.
“You ever been to a planetarium?”
The question caught Shelby off guard. She took a moment to answer. “Yeah, a couple times. There were a lot in Texas. Why?” She watched Toni’s profile, more than a little curious as to where this conversation was going.
Toni shrugged, “Just wondering. I’ve never been.”
Feeling Toni’s fingers tighten around the back of her thighs, Shelby was quick to distract herself, “Didn’t take you for an astronomer.”
“Marty told me this story about the splinter-foot girl,” Toni swallowed, aware that she wouldn’t tell this near as well as her best friend or Mrs. B did, “it’s an old Arapaho legend about a girl who couldn’t catch a break. Constantly dealing with douchebags trying to force her into marriage. She was beautiful or some shit.” Toni chuckled to herself, she clearly wasn’t meant to be a storyteller. “Her family hated being apart from her so they tried to help her escape from these guys, but they just kept coming. Always hunting her down. Eventually-” the brunette casted a glance towards the night sky above them, “she figured out that her only real chance at freedom with her family was for them to live among the stars, so that’s where they went. Together.”
Shelby listened intently the entire time Toni spoke, enraptured with this newfound side of the usually brash girl. “Kinda makes you wanna run away up there too, huh? Just leave all of life’s problems behind down here,” the blonde whispered loud enough for both to hear. If only it were that easy. God only knew how much Shelby wished that were possible.
“You have no idea.” Toni mumbled more to herself. “Marty’s better at telling that story. Makes it sound a lot deeper than I do.”
Taking in the basketball player’s pinched brow and downturned lips, Shelby spoke up, “I think you did just fine.” She moved her head closer to Toni’s against her better judgement. “Is that why you wanna go to a planetarium? See the stars? Because of stories like that?” her voice was quiet, reverent. Much like when she was in a house of worship trying her hardest to relate to the pastor’s message, Shelby was trying to understand Toni. If she blinked she’d miss the hidden meaning in the story, where the dots connected between a girl in the stars and a girl right here wrapped in her arms.
Toni’s shoulders shifted uncomfortably as she tried to rid herself of the sudden feeling of being exposed. She felt laid bare beneath the starry sky, illuminating the cracks in her exterior, far beneath the tough front she allowed others to see. All in front of a girl she wasn’t sure would understand. She wasn’t even sure she wanted Shelby to understand. “I guess. Not that I’ll be going anytime soon,” her voice came out thick and hoarse with unexpected emotion.
“Why not-” Shelby started but was interrupted.
“We close to your place yet princess? Cause my legs are starting to feel like jello.” Toni joked weakly.
Shelby had nearly forgotten. “Oh, yeah. It’s the street just after that road work sign, right there on the left,” the blonde tilted her chin towards it. “It’s the house on the corner.”
Toni let out a low whistle as she got a better view. “Damn Goodkind. I knew you came from money but still.”
That house might look nice on the outside, but inside? It lacked in a lot of ways. Warmth and love for a start. Shelby fought a grimace at the thought.
The captain checked both ways before she crossed the street towards the elegant house. She hesitated as she neared the end of the driveway, looking out at the well-maintained lawn and the sprinklers that were probably responsible for that.
“What’s a matter Shalifoe? Scared of a bit of water?” Shelby teased, trying to cover up her change of mood now that they were here. She knew beyond the soft glow of the porchlight and the sturdy brick walls was a father who would surely have questions. Like where was Andrew or how did she get home. All things she didn’t feel like explaining, not tonight at least.
Toni rolled her eyes, “Oh yeah. Wouldn’t wanna ruin my outfit.” She stared down at her joggers and beat up vans, sarcasm dripping from her every word. Shelby’s eyes automatically followed, looking the captain up and down, which did her no favors. The blonde tore her eyes away, knowing temptation when she felt it.
“Well you can let me down now. I’m sure I can take it from here just fine.” Shelby looked anywhere but at the brunette, feeling self-conscious.
Toni sensed the girl’s discomfort and didn’t argue as she slowly lowered her towards the ground. The pair shuffled awkwardly at the end of the drive.
“Well, guess I’ve done my good deed then.” Toni offered a grin, “Can’t question my commitment to helping damsels in distress now.”
A slow smile spread across Shelby’s lips, “Guess not.” She looked at Toni intently. “Thank you Toni, really. For all of it.”
“Don’t go gettin’ all soft on me Goodkind. I got a reputation to keep,” the captain snarked, but brown eyes locked on green with the same level of focus.
Before she could second-guess herself, Shelby leant in, leaving a soft peck on Toni’s cheek. Both girls looked taken aback. “Wouldn’t be very princess-like of me not to thank you.” Her voice came out more confident than she really felt.
“You already thanked me,” Toni gave her a dopey grin.
Shelby chose not to respond to that, “You sure you’ll be alright walkin’ back all on your own?” Concern laced her words as she chewed on her bottom lip.
Smirk firmly in place, Toni started walking backwards as she pointed up, “Not on my own remember? There’s a whole family up there lighting the way.”
That was the moment that it finally clicked for Shelby, why the splinter-foot story mattered to Toni. The basketball captain might not have gotten a happy ending with her own family, but up there, within the boundless dark sky, there was a girl who did. The blonde realized that deep down, she felt it too. Coming from a family who was present, but their love and support wasn’t guaranteed, Shelby understood why a story like that felt important.
Toni and Shelby were both just two people trying to feel less alone. Hoping desperately to be loved and accepted for exactly who they were. Who’s to say they couldn’t help each other find that.
“Night Goodkind.”
“Goodnight Toni.”