Work Text:
Have Some Faith in Yourself
The ceiling of her room seemed darker than usual. Drapes drawn, lights out, and the sun had gone down hours ago. It had been a long time since she’d had those glow in the dark stars up there, and sometimes she could still see the outlines of where they used to be. She chuckled a bit to herself, it was strange how badly she’d wanted to have them taken down in high school to look cool, and how much she missed them now.
There were a lot of things that seemed important in high school that she realized weren’t so life altering as she might have thought. Being a cheerleader always seemed stupid to her, maybe it would have been fun, not worth dwelling on now though, she probably wouldn’t have enjoyed it anyways. She sighed and shrugged eyes still fixed on that one spot on the ceiling.
That star in particular had been her favorite, she thought. It was brighter than the others for a while, until she’d accidentally smacked it throwing a bouncy ball at it, after that it seemed just a little bit more dull, she never understood why she thought that but she did. She missed it she guessed.
Her eyes squinted as a radiant beam shone throughout the room her phone vibrating next to her head, a text, she could only guess from who, turning the brightness on her phone all the way down she opened the messaging app quietly thanking god for dark mode.
Hey, didn’t see u in class today...u good?
She smiled, Peridot had that effect on her, always knew what to say and when. Another thing she constantly thanked many gods for was her freshman astronomy class, where she had met the quirky and short blonde, and she thanked quite a few more metaphysical beings that they’d been paired up as lab partners.
Yea just in a mood today i guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Lapis giggled, quickly answering her girlfriend's text, she had always really loved that emote and knew it usually got a laugh out of Peridot even if only a small chuckle. She tried to downplay it, as always, but knew exactly the text she was about to receive,
Well then aren’t you glad you live so close to campus ;)
The text that meant Peridot was on her way. In high school she’d hated living 10 minutes down the road from a college campus, it was always so loud and obnoxious when she just wanted to brood. She didn’t brood so much anymore, it was hard to with a dorky ray of sunshine always eager to cheer her up and somehow always knowing when that was needed. There was rarely a reason for these moods of hers but it was easier now knowing that being alone wasn’t quite what she had thought it had been.
She was glad she lived next to campus now,
A soft knock on her bedroom door about 20 minutes later signaled the arrival of her oh so brave knight. She smiled softly and opened the door. A small girl who couldn’t have been more than 5’3”, a fact she loved to tease Peridot about, in a rumpled black hoodie sporting a bright green alien, and some of the rattiest jeans Lapis had ever seen accompanied by the dorkiest grin, her Peridot.
“Brought snacks,” the blonde said, holding aloft a two liter of Dr. Pepper and several bags of Trolli sour gummy worms,
“Oh my,” Lapis brought her hand to her mouth in mock impressment, “truly a gourmet meal and brought to me by such a cute waitress,” this banter was her favorite part of any day. Always a roll of Peridot’s eyes and a quick quip,
“Tip well they don’t pay me enough at the Chateau Du Gas Station,” Peridot walked into the room flopping down on the bed,
“Ah yes of course,” Lapis responded, her faux haughty tone staying strong, “however I’m sure that employee discount of yours should more than cover the tippage?” Peridot cackled, a sound Lapis knew she could never be tired of,
“Yeah but a little kiss couldn’t hurt,” Peridot said tapping her cheek and winking. Lapis walked over and tackled her onto the bed kissing her softly on the mouth,
“Well,” Peridot said breathlessly after being knocked over and then immediately having her ability to breathe taken, “that’s a lot better than 20%,”
“Oh please, who do you know at our school who actually tips 20%?” Lapis teased back
“Well my line of work is not one that generally includes tippage,” Peridot replied clearly having forgotten their previous line of joking,
“Aren’t you just so underappreciated?” Lapis pouted. Peridot turned and smiled that brilliant toothy grin of hers that could shine even in this darkness,
“I dunno, I feel like I’m plenty appreciated,” Lapis blushed furiously, thankful for the dark room. The door was cracked slightly allowing just a little light to filter through into the room, making it more dimly lit than pitch black, Lapis thought maybe she preferred it this way.
“Tell your mom I’m really hurt she didn’t have cookies for me today,” Peridot said breaking the silence, Lapis giggled at that always so out of nowhere with this girl,
“Yeah i’ll make sure to let her know,”
“I mean I already told her I just think if it comes from two sources we could score a double batch y’know?” Peridot turned wiggling her eyebrows.
“Oh yeah you’ll definitely have to resort to trickery to get her to do nice things for you,” Lapis teased, “oh Lapis why didn’t you tell me your girlfriend was coming over today I would’ve made something for dinner,” Lapis’ impression of her mother was spot on and given how much that woman doted on Peridot she was more than sure she’d said those exact words before.
“It is a good impression of her y’know,” Lapis tilted her head in a mock bow,
“Of course I do, been practicing my whole life,” after a brief giggling fit a calm silence fell over the two. Peridot took Lapis’ hand twisting their fingers together and just laying there, both looking at the same spot on the ceiling they always did. Both starting off into space content to just be with each other. No need to talk, no need to do anything other than just be.
These were moments she cherished and the moments that she fell in love with Peridot during. She wasn’t pushy, she was patient, and she was as content as Lapis with just some peace and quiet next to each other. The distant sounds of campus activities and cars driving down the roads, all in the backs of their minds. It was nice, it was these moments that she felt were almost perfect, like everything was almost perfect.
“You know,” Peridot said after several minutes of just laying around, “class really does suck without you, you oughta come by,” Lapis nodded quietly, shifting slightly to get a better grip on Peridot’s hand,
“Yeah it’s just hard sometimes,”
“I know,” a soft squeeze, reassuring, and then quiet again.
Several more minutes passed in their blissful silence, Lapis often wondered if Peridot could make out those faint marks of the stars on her ceiling too, or just stared up because that’s what she did, she’d have to ask sometime.
“Sometimes it’s hard just getting out of bed in the morning,” another tight squeeze,
“I know, and that’s what’s so awesome about you, you do it all anyways.” Lapis turned to see the faint outline of Peridots face light from the door just barely illuminating enough to make out a small smile, “it’s easy for some of us, but you, man Lapis you’re awesome,” Lapis blushed again, not sure where that was coming from, some innate sense that these were the words she needed to hear she supposed, Peridot definitely had that, a voice clear enough to rise over the doubts of her mind, which she had begun to learn were unfounded.
“I’m not that awesome,” she responded almost on instinct, she wasn’t very used to the type of attention and validation Peridot gave to her, and some of these old habits still sprung up from time to time, but...she knew what was coming next.
Peridot shifted, her eyes twinkling as she stared into Lapis’ her grin spreading,
“Was that some self doubt I just heard there Lazuli?” A tear already forming in her eye she grinned back and nodded, “well then you know what that means,” Peridot shot up off of the bed and extended her hand, bowing in the process. Lapis reached out and took it standing with her, this little ritual of theirs, that she was so used to at this point, these were moments that always
brought a smile to her face as most moments with Peridot did.
The blonde reached into her hoodie pocket to pull out her phone, but, Lapis stopped her taking the phone and placing it to the side.
“If I may request,” she said shyly, “I’d rather hear it from you,” Peridot’s grin widened.
“You can ask anything you want you know,” Lapis nodded, she did know, and that was a true treasure.
Peridot pulled Lapis close wrapping one arm around her waist and taking her hand with the other, her eyes shining with moisture, Lapis’ were too, crying during these moments seemed to be a part of the ritual to them. It had started the first time Lapis had heard the song, she’d broken down and they’d had a long talk afterwards. It had become their song then and there. Clearing her throat Peridot began to sway back and forth slowly Lapis following her lead. They played it whenever Lapis had any self doubts, sang it when she felt like she wasn’t enough, and danced to it whenever she needed to. And Peridot always knew when she needed to. The swayed back and forth slowly the rhythm burned into their minds from countless repetition, as Peridot began to sing,
Have some faith in yourself my love
The first line is where Lapis had known this song was going to be something special for her,
Days are long enough for all this push and shove
Peridot didn’t sing very often, she didn’t like her voice very much but to Lapis it was beautiful, something about it was simply breathtaking.
And when you grow into all you will become,
Lapis always tensed at this, knowing what was coming next, these two lines are where she felt the most vulnerable, but also the most loved by the smaller girl in front of her,
Then I’ll say I was right about you all along,
Peridot’s voice in that lyric always sounded proud, something about the way it rose and held strong, and this is when the blonde usually started to cry those sappy sappy happy tears of hers. Lapis had already started of course, not used to the confidence of another that she would be okay.
They swayed for a moment each humming the chord progression to the instrumental break, it was short but the space was always something that Lapis felt touched by letting the weight of the meaning this song had to her settle,
When sadness sits on your shoulder, it weighs you down
Another night feeling deeply underwhelmed
A night like tonight, where any other time in her life she would’ve sat staring at the ceiling all night never knowing what she was really worth to other people,
But I see a light, shine in those deep blue eyes
Lapis stifled a laugh through her silent tears, Peridot always changed that lyric to fit her, it was cheesy, corny, and dorky...but she loved it.
Let’s pack up all our shit
Get out of this town tonight
No matter where we go
I know,
We’ll Be alright
Softly swaying back and forth, the love of her life reassuring her in the darkness of her own room, someone who she knew she could always lean on and lean into, on nights that used to be nothing but darkness to her, now there was a small but persistent light peeking through the door. Swaying slowly as Peridot wiped the happy tears from her cheek as their song played through their minds on an endless loop.
Yeah, the moments of quiet were almost perfect.
But these moments really were...perfect