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I was panting, looking at the crowd of people watching my every move. All the lights, all the screams seemed to come from a different place. Everything seemed so distant at that moment. Just like that, I knew I was reaching my limit for today. I felt my heart beating painfully hard against my chest, my head spinning. I needed to get out of there as fast as possible. As I heard the familiar tune of the last song of this concert I took one last deep breath. Just one more song. Just a little more until I can get the fuck out of here and come back to him, I repeated in my head, hoping that thought alone could keep me from breaking down in front of thousands of people. Yet again, I gave them everything I got, exposing my dark mind and leaving a piece of my heart on the stage.
At the simple gesture of my wrist the crowd broke into havoc, both guys and girls straining their throats to somehow scream even louder. It's been well over two hours but the noise never seemed to fade. At the end of the song I laughed once again, the sound coming out a little croaky. The crowd cheered loudly, throwing different things at the stage - bras, underwear, flowers, condoms and many other things, yikes - as I folded myself in half and tried to catch my breath again. Without taking my eyes off the floor I exited the stage, I could feel the sweat making my clothes cling to my body, weighting me down.
As always, my manager came to take me to my car, despite the stylists complaining I should change into fresher clothes. Jimin and Taehyung could be really bitchy sometimes, those brats... Namjoon though? He was my best friend, he knew when enough was enough for me, we have known each other for a long time after all. He was always the second person after him to listen to my new tracks before official release. I was lucky to have someone as smart as him by my side in this industry.
But all I wanted to do was come back to my safe place, to him.
On the way to my apartment the whole car was drowned in silence. My mind was becoming even more hazy, the street lights hurting my eyes more and more with every passing minute. I just wanted to get out of there, to calm my mind that was running wild despite feeling so out of place.
I haven't even noticed when we got to our destination, only realizing it when Namjoon opened the door for me to get out. My movements were slow, feet dragging on the pavement, barely having any energy to go up the few steps to the front door. Barely paying any attention to the receptionist we got into the elevator, that brought us to the last floor, the one where only my apartment was located. Joon bid me goodbye as I walked up to the door, raising one hand to ring the bell. As I waited for him to open the door my heart started to beat hard in my chest again. I flinched as the click of the lock resonated through the corridor. I kept my head down and looked up through my bangs at Hoseok standing in the door frame. He was in his dancing clothes and looked rather tired. He must have been practicing without rest again. Ever since his dance videos got more popular he has been more determined than ever, doing his best in creating new choreographies.
He still smiled warmly at me as I stepped inside and shuffled my sneakers off my feet, leaving my jacket on the hanger.
- You worked so hard, you must be tired, Yoongi. Would you like to wash together? I will wash your hair for you if you want! - his voice was music to my ears.
I only nodded and sent him what I hoped was a smile, silently thanking him for taking care of me in this pathetic state. We made our way to the bathroom slowly, me finding comfort in the coldness of tiles against my socked, sore feet. He went to the bathtub and turned on the water while I started taking off my pants. Just as I stepped out of them he came up to me with his shirt already off and reached to the shelf beside the mirror to get the little white bottle with unscented cleanser and some cotton pads.
- We should probably take this off, don't you think?
Without saying anything, I turned to him and closed my eyes, letting him continue. I trusted him.
The first thing I felt were his fingers, gently pushing back my hair away from my face. Then, something wet and soft gliding against my skin, staying just a tad bit longer at my eyelids to properly get rid of all the makeup. When they moved back I opened my eyes again, feeling much better. Hoseok turned off the water and turned to me again, helping me to get rid of my shirt. After a few more minutes all our clothes landed in the laundry basket.
He was the first to enter the bathtub, afterwards holding my hand to stabilize me so I wouldn't slip on the smooth surface. It was big, so even with me sitting between his legs neither of us had any trouble straightening our legs. The water reached just above my bellybutton, splashing with every little movement. It smelled like blueberries but the scent was ever so delicate.
Hoseok washed my hair as promised, his dull finger nails scratching my scalp. After he finished I turned my head to him.
- Can I wash yours too?
His eyes lit up, followed by a nod of his head. Careful not to fall I got up and turned around. He was about to move too when I placed my hand on his shoulder. He looked very confused when I sat in his lap but still wrapped his hands around my waist to secure me. First I wetted his black hair using the shower handle. Then I took the bottle of shampoo into my hand poured some on my fingers. As I slowly massaged his scalp Hoseok kept staring at me, but I could see his features relaxing as I went on. When I was rinsing his hair I made sure to not get any of the foam or water into his precious eyes.
Even after I finished I wanted to stay like this, just his arms holding me close in the pleasant silence. But as much as I wanted to do that, we had to get out soon since the water was getting colder compered to the heat that instantly flushed my skin the moment we got in. I had to move so both of us could wash ourselves properly. Of course, after we got out and dressed in some fresh underwear, Hoseok dried my hair with a towel, refusing to let me return the favor. I huffed unsatisfied and decided to head to our bedroom first. Before I could even take a few steps though I was lifted off the floor by strong arms under my knees and back. I yelped a little surprised and he just started giggling, making me pout in response. I could walk on my own, thank you very much! But it still felt nice...
He stepped into our bedroom and placed me back down onto the bed. I went under the covers and he turned off the lights before slipping under the blanket with me and pulling my body closer to his, our faces so close that our noses were a mere inch apart. I could feel Hoseok's hot breath on my face as he whispered goodnight and dozed off.
Even when my eyelids were so heavy I kept my eyes on him a little longer, his tan skin glowing in the city lights from outside. Even though the sky was especially dark that night, he was still my star. My biggest reason to live, my brightest star in the universe.
My fiance.