Archive of Our Own ^beta

Xie Lian was exhausted.

His work combined with his college assignments were draining him for days now and all he wants is to sleep three days in a row. It was nearing the end of the semester so he was full of essays and exams to do, plus his part-time job at a toy store was really tiring him and taking some hours of him that he could be studying.

He was heading to another shift at the store when he stopped by a café where his friend worked. He ordered the biggest cup they had of a mochaccino to fill his need for caffeine as soon as possible. Qingxuan saw the bags under his eyes and couldn’t help but worry about her friend, that’s why she gave him a free muffin, in hopes to at least make his day better. Xie Lian thanked with a smile, warm spreading on his chest because of the gesture from his friend.

However, things turned different right around the corner.

He stopped by a traffic light and waited until it turned green so he could cross the street safely, but as soon as he stepped on the street a fast car emerged from nowhere. He didn’t even have time to react and run away because he was hit by it, thankfully not being a full target as the driver tried to divert at the last moment and hit a tree by the sidewalk.

Xie Lian fell to the floor in slow motion, his vision becoming blurry until he fully blacked out on the floor, pain spreading on his entire body.

Qingxuan was the one that called the ambulance.

(...)

About four hours after, Xie Lian woke up in a hospital bed, still dizzy from the medicines he had been put on. His leg was on a cast with a pillow making it high, bandages covering his left wrist and he could feel some minor scratches on his face and his head and his torso hurting when he breathed, probably by the impact on the floor.

While he was trying to be awake, a doctor entered the room.

“Oh? I see that you’re awake now,” the woman said while looking through the medical report on his hand.

“Barely, but I’m trying,” Xie Lian humorously answered.

“You’re lucky you didn’t have any serious damage besides your feet, but it should heal in less than two weeks.”

Although he knew he was in a hospital, he didn’t remember why he was there. Neither what day they were.

“Uhm, sorry, doctor, but what day are we?”

“It’s March eighteenth,” Xie Lian widened slightly his eyes. Did the time pass by so fast? His reaction didn’t pass unnoticed by the doctor. “What is the last thing you remember?”

The hurt boy hesitated for a moment before speaking, “To be honest, I remember that Halloween was like two days ago…”

The doctor sighed and called for a nurse to bring Xie Lian to the neurology area and run some exams on him. He may have had a minor memory loss and they needed to check if there were other injuries regarding his brain.

Outside on the reception, a wild Hua Cheng was demanding information about his friend.

“I’m sorry, sir, but we’re only authorized to give information from patients to his family members”, the lady tried her best to explain the hospital rules to the furious boy.

Hua Cheng’s face was red from all the running he made to the local and his eyes carried worry that no one could even describe.

“What do you mean? I need to know how he is!” He emphasized the word need before taking a deep breath and running his fingers on his hair. The boy stopped his wandering in front of the lady and just sent it to heaven. “Please, lady, I’m his husband, I really need to know how he is…”

The woman widened her eyes a little and started asking him some questions to fill a form, it took no longer than five minutes and she informed in which room he was and called the doctor that was attending Xie Lian to let him know that ‘his husband’ just came to the hospital and was heading to the room.

Hua Cheng took a deep breath when he was in front of the door and when his hand reached the doorknob, he heard the doctor saying inside the room, “Mr. Xie, your husband is here to see you.”

When Hua Cheng opened the door, he encountered a panicking Xie Lian.

“I am married? What do you mean I have a husband?” He asked worriedly, “Doctor, do I have amnesia?” And at this point, he already had tears on his eyes.

Hua Cheng’s heart broke seeing the scene in front of him and it was because of him. Of course Xie Lian didn’t remember they were married because they weren’t! Hua Cheng thought that saying that wouldn’t give him trouble, he just wanted to see how Xie Lian was, but things got out of hand, apparently. He needed to stop it before it went too far.

He stood by the door, silently, but his presence was known faster than he could imagine. The doctor looked at him with apologetic eyes, probably because Xie Lian didn’t remember their wedding and would have to be brave through this delicate moment.

“Mr. Xie, you only have a minor memory loss, our guess is that you will remember things you forgot before the end of the month,” The doctor tried to cheer the boy, “And you, you must be Mr. Xie’s husband, right?”

Hua Cheng could only nod, still looking at the boy in the bed that still had tears on his eyes.

“Well, he doesn’t have any major injury, he twisted his ankle when he was hit by the car and he has some minor scratches on the arm and on his face. The worst thing is that he has a minor memory loss, as you could have heard a while ago, but it’s not worrying, we’ve checked on his brain to look for others, but we found nothing. His last memory is from Christmas and I guess your wedding must be recent, that’s why he can’t remember. We’re keeping him for observation for the night and tomorrow morning he can be sent home, he’ll need a break of ten days to heal his ankle and to not overwhelm his brain while he recovers from the loss.”

“Doctor, can you give me a medical statement about his accident so I can send it to his college? His exams are next week and the professors have to know about his brain’s condition,” The taller required as he remembered Xie Lian was tired from studying all week, not even passing by the pet shop he worked to chat a little.

“Of course, I’ll leave it by the reception. You can pick it when you check out Mr. Xie tomorrow. Now, I’ll leave you two alone and do have in mind that he’s still a little high on meds. Excuse me,” The doctor bowed slightly and got out of room.

Xie Lian was still sniffling on the bed when Hua Cheng approached him and sat by the chair besides him. When their eyes met, Xie Lian was pouting and his eyes were red from the tears that silently were falling on his cheek. Hua Cheng raised his hand and, carefully, he wiped them away, his hand lingering on Xie’s face more than he intended to.

“It’s okay,” Hua Cheng whispered with his hand still caressing Xie Lian’s face and this only was enough to send the boy in tears again.

“I’m sorry,” He managed to say between sobs, “But, can you tell me if it was a summer wedding? Did we use red Daisies or Amaryllis for the bouquet? I can’t believe out of all things I could forget I had to forget about our wedding. You must have looked so gorgeous in a suit…” Xie Lian said with dreamy, teary eyes.

Hua Cheng’s heart made a double backflip inside his chest. He couldn’t help but also imagine Xie Lian in a suit, looking at him so lovely that he could already hear Mu Qing’s complaint from behind saying they were giving him a headache from so much cheesiness. Also, because of the fact that Xie Lian worked in a flower shop, he knew the flowers he suggested held some great meaning that he would look up later.

But, it wasn’t true. They weren’t married and there is no wedding.

He needed to tell Xie Lian that, however he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“Gege…” His voice came out more worried than he planned and that alarmed the other boy right away.

“A-Are you breaking up with me?” Xie Lian widened his eyes and felt his vision become blurry with tears once again. Damn, why am I crying so much?, he asked himself.

“What? NO!” Hua Cheng spoke a little loud, “Are you crying? Please, don’t,” And once again he wiped away the older’s tears.

“What do you want to say? Please, just say right away,” The boy looked at him with puppy eyes and Hua Cheng’s knees became jelly.

He sighed.

“It was a summer wedding.”

The smile Xie Lian gave him was the most beautiful one on the earth — actually, all of Xie Lian’s smiles were the most beautiful on Hua Cheng’s eyes —, it was so wide and so bright that the younger couldn’t help but mirror him and smile as well.

“We did use the Amaryllis flowers and you were the one that arranged the decoration. You said it was your big day and didn’t want it to have anything out of the place. You almost gave Feng Xin a heart attack about your white suit, it couldn’t have any trace of any stain on it,” They chuckled together and Hua Cheng let himself dream a little. He has been liking Xie Lian for almost two years now and he was nowhere close to confessing before the accident. They were best friends. Just that. And he wouldn’t dare to lose Xie Lian because of his stupid feelings, he prefered to have him as a friend than nothing, even though there were times that it hurt like hell.

Xie Lian and him met three years ago when Hua Cheng became his new next-door neighbour and also joined the same college as him. Xie Lian was already halfway through his history major when Hua Cheng started his journalism major. They hit off almost immediately, since Xia Lian was very nice and helpful to Hua Cheng on his firsts days on the building and the college. They have been glued together since then.

Hua Cheng’s feelings made a turn near his birthday two years ago, his first birthday since he met the older. He didn’t like to celebrate, nor was used to receiving gifts, but Xie Lian changed all of that. Luckily it was on a saturday and soon in the morning, he took Hua Cheng to have breakfast at the café Qingxuan, a friend of theirs, worked on, and paid for everything. He also knew Hua Cheng didn’t like crowded places, so he only planned a day in with him after they both finished their shifts. Xie Lian left an hour before the other and went to the market to get Hua Cheng’s favorite foods and head back to his apartment.

Xie Lian was also a gentleman and went to pick Hua Cheng from his work so they could walk back together. When he got there, there was a new cat for adoption and he couldn’t help but squat beside the animal and pat him softly. That was the first time Hua Cheng’s heart skipped a beat, but he pushed it to the back of his mind.

They walked back to their building and they spent the day watching movies, chatting and even cooked dinner together — that’s when Hua Cheng discovered he needed to teach Xie Lian to cook a little. When it was getting late, around 10pm, Xie Lian went to his room and came back with a little box.

“Now, this is for you,” He gave it to the birthday boy, a little anxious about his reaction.

“Gege, you already made my day amazing. You didn’t have to buy me a gift,” Hua Cheng smiled at him and they sat on the living room floor, their backs pressed against the couch.

The younger opened the box and his mouth fell as soon as he saw what was inside. First, there was a handwritten letter that he’d read later by himself. Also, there was some sweets he loved, two little polaroids with pictures of them together, and lastly, there was a brown notebook with a giant butterfly on the cover.

Nobody ever did that to him.

When he looked at Xie Lian again, he was speechless. His eyes were teary and his smile was so huge that it was a shock his cheeks weren’t hurting. Hua Cheng immediately hugged a fidgety Xia Lian, who was waiting for his reaction.

“Did you like it?” The older asked, his features still wrapped with insecurity, even though the hug.

“I loved it,” Hua Cheng held his face on his hands and hugged him again after.

That’s when he knew he liked Xie Lian.

“Mu Qing was the one that brought us the rings, he had to win against Feng Xin on Gartic, which in fact he did twice and it drove Feng Xin mad. It was hilarious,” Hua Cheng giggled once again.

“By the way, where are our rings? I’d like to see which one we chose to use?”

The younger gulped and opened his mouth without saying anything two times before thinking of something to cover up his big lie.

“It got loose on our fingers recently, so we left it at the jewelry shop we bought to arrange it to our new size.”

“Ah, it makes sense,” Xie Lian answered and yawned right after he finished. He looked over to the watch on the wall and saw it was already past 10pm. “Love, I’m sorry, but I’m already sleepy. Do you mind if I sleep?”

Xie Lian was really going to be the death of Hua Cheng.

“It’s okay, you can sleep, you must be really tired. I’ll be here by the morning, alright?” He pushed a strand of hair behind his ear and smiled softly at the nickname he was being called. Xie Lian nodded with a small smile on his face and made himself comfortable as he could on the limited hospital bed, soon drifting off to sleep.

When he was the other was fast asleep, Hua Cheng left a big sigh escape his mouth and he ran his hands on his face, feeling a hint of a headache coming. This wasn’t supposed to go this far away, but he didn’t have the balls to break it to Xie Lian that they were nothing but friends. Another thing that was messing with Hua Cheng’s mind was the ease Xie Lian accepted the fact they were married and how sad he looked when he thought they were going to break up.

Hua Cheng’s mind was running a thousand miles, filled with worries of how things would turn out when the lie was ended. Even though it was kinda late, he did the only thing he could think of.

“Qingxuan?” He whispered on the phone when he heard his friend pick it up.

“Oh, hi, how is he? Is he okay?” She asked right away, worried about Xie Lian’s state since she wasn’t able to go to the hospital and see him.

“He is fine, he will leave by the morning and didn’t break anything. However…” The boy trailed off, kinda scared of the reaction that he was going to receive soon.

“However what, Hua Cheng?” Qingxuan spoke slowly and that’s what scared him.

“He has a minor memory loss and they only let in family members and.. Uhm… I kinda said I’m his… husband?” Even though Qingxuan couldn’t see him, his face twisted as soon as he heard her voice raise on the line.

“God may have mercy on you, but I don't. What the fuck, Hua Cheng? Couldn’t you have said you’re his cousin, brother, I don’t know, just anything that didn’t involve feelings? I swear to God…,” Qingxuan was only twenty, but she felt with forty years old having to deal with two dumb and oblivious friends like them.

“I panicked, okay? I was really worried about him and I did the first thing that crossed my mind without looking like I was lying.”

“Oh my, you’re so fucking dumb. Please, finish saying I know you didn’t call me just for that. C’mon,” She felt a crease surging between her own eyebrows and closed her eyes, sighing once again.

“Ok, the doctor may have kinda said to Xie Lian I was his husband and he freaked out because he thinks he forgot our wedding… He believes we’re together now…”

“He what?” She screamed and Hua Cheng removed the cell from his ear, not wanting to be deaf so young, “What the fuck you have inside your head? Because there is no brain there, that I’m sure.”

“I tried to deny, but he started crying thinking we were breaking up. Qingxuan, what do I do?” The boy pouted and his gaze wandered to the sleeping figure by the bed in the middle of the room.

“Well, the obvious answer won’t do as I see. How bad is his memory loss?”

“His last memory is from Halloween and the doctor said it may take less than ten days to his memories to be back.”

“Only this short? I thought he had forgotten at least a year from his memory.”

“Right? I’m still trying to understand how he thinks we’re married when he only forgot the last six months,” Hua Cheng took off his shoes and went back to the chair by the bed to prepare to sleep after he ended the call.

“Hm, so, give him a few days until his injuries heal and his memory gets back, after that talk to him like a decent human. Both of you, okay? You guys will have a lot to talk about,” She said in a dead serious tone, making Hua Cheng confused.

“What do you mean?”

“You will understand soon. Just make sure he’ll be fine at home as you’ll have to stay with him, lovely husbands,” Qingxuan mocked them and giggled, “I have to go now, I have classes early in the morning.”

“Good night, my dear,” He joked back and ended the call.

He was going to have a few tough days ahead of him. But, he’ll be fine.

(...)

On the next morning, Xie Lian was the first to wake up in the room.

When he looked besides him, he found Hua Cheng sleeping in an uncomfortable position that would surely leave his neck and his back hurting. The boy said he’d be here by the morning, but Xie Lian didn’t think he’d actually sleep in the hospital, further on his actual side. He was so lucky to have him.

About ten minutes after, Hua Cheng woke up just as the doctor entered the room to discharge him and give him crutches due to his ankle. Xie Lian changed his clothes carefully in the bathroom of the room while Hua Cheng checked his medical papers and heard the doctor’s orientations.

“He can’t put weight on his ankle for the next three days, make sure he will rest it with a pillow like we did yesterday. You can take out the bandage on his wrists, but make sure to still apply ointment on his wounds also by the face. Regarding his brain condition, as I said he may get a little confused as the things will come back gradually, but it won’t take too long until he’s fine. He may get a lot of headaches, though, so I need you to bring him to a check up on March 28th, alright?”

“Yes, doctor. Can I get your name so when we come back we’ll come directly to you?”

Xie Lian got out with a fresh pair of clothes and stood with his crutches besides Hua Cheng by the door, their fingers brushing and the slight touch made the younger’s breath hitch.

“I’m the doctor Yushi Huang, but you can ask for doctor Yushi as we have other Huangs around here,” She giggled and excused herself out of the room.

"Let 's go?” Xie Lian asked with a little smile and Hua Cheng’s heart melted more by the scene.

“I’ll call an uber for us to go home,” He said already with his phone in his hand as they walked to the reception of the hospital.

It took less than fifteen minutes for them to arrive at their building, Hua Cheng led the way holding the elevator’s door for the older and with his key in hands as he was the one that took Xie Lian’s belongings. As soon as they got in the apartment and the older one went to his room to grab some clothes and go to the shower, Xie Lian tilted his head in confusion. Hua Cheng was in the kitchen preparing them some food because they left the hospital without eating breakfast.

“Buttercup, why aren’t your things in the apartment? Don’t we live together?” He asked by the kitchen’s door, his body leaned on the frame, his hurt ankle still held up without touching the floor.

“Well, uhm, we- we were looking for a new one that is bigger than this, so I didn’t bring all of my things here as I still have the apartment next door. They are there, just by the door outside,” The younger did his best to make up a lie convincing enough that he’d believe as things were turning into a giant snowball of a mess. They were ‘married’, but they didn’t have a ring, neither lived together fully.

However, it seemed like Hua Cheng’s answer was enough to the boy, who smiled and nodded, going to the bathroom after so he could clean himself from the hospital air.

It was nearing 12pm and the younger decided to skip the breakfast and cook a reinforced lunch for both of them. He decided to make covered rice with both vegetables and meat and a side of steamed buns which he knew Xie Lian loved. He was taking care of the meat on the stove when he felt warm arms cradling his middle and carefully hugging him from behind. His heart race immediately ran faster and he felt his cheeks slightly becoming rosy.

“Gege... ,” He managed to say without stuttering, still facing the stove, focused on cooking.

“The smell is so good,” Xie Lian said at the same time he snuggled closer to Hua Cheng, making him confused if he was talking about the food or about his perfume, “What are we having for lunch?”

“I’m making us covered rice with steamed buns. Now, you go sit, you can’t be around when your ankle is still fucked up. Sit by the table and put it over another chair to keep it high,” He demanded and turned on his side to actually look at Xie Lian. It was his mistake number one.

“Fine, I just miss you, okay? A hug won’t hurt me more, but the lack of it is going to,” He kissed Hua Cheng’s cheek and sat on the table, picking his phone from his pocket and answering Qingxuan’s worried messages all on caps lock, Feng Xin and Mu Qing’s messages of support and wishing him a fast and good recovery, and also informing one of his classmates what happened and asking for the notes he missed on class. Xie Lian was going to send e-mails for his professors later explaining what happened with his medical report attached.

When the older finished on his phone, Hua Cheng put the food on the table and set up everything they needed, stopping Xie Lian from even getting up to get a cup of water. They ate in silence, Xie Lian just complimenting the food on the first bites and Hua Cheng shrugging his shoulders and averting his eyes, in a way to stop himself from blushing again.

They ate quickly and Hua Cheng was fast on putting the dishes on the sink so he could wash it later before dinner. He went to his own apartment to get his laptop while Xie Lian made himself comfortable in his bedroom and got his own device to talk to his professors, and maybe persuade Hua Cheng to watch some random movie on Netflix.

He failed on the last point, though. The younger boy had an essay to finish in two days and he was almost finishing it, deciding to work on it and get it done before the deadline. Xie Lian took the opportunity to watch him closely by his side, his face with a concentrated expression, his eyebrows slightly furrowed and his lips pouting unconsciously while he typed. Xie Lian thought he’d be bothered by his gaze, but he didn’t even mind it, letting him watch just like he was a movie.

The boy was so pretty, Xie Lian thought about it with a certain frequency. He had realized his own feelings about ten months ago due to a conversation he had with Qingxuan after getting confused about some things. It was a day where he got a double shift at the flower shop and was leaving to have lunch with Hua Cheng, who went to his job to pick him up. When Xie Lian went back, the old lady that owned the job complimented them, startling the boy.

“The young love is so beautiful,” She said smiling and went to grab a scissors to cut out the thorns from the bouquet she was arranging, “You two are lucky to have each other.”

“Uhm… Thank you, auntie, but we aren’t dating. He’s my best friend,” He informed, scratching his nape in embarrassment. Somehow, it felt wrong to say they were only best friends, like something was missing.

It wasn’t the first time people got confused about their relationship, at this point almost all of Xie Lian’s friends thought they were really dating. Mu Qing always complained on how dumb they were that they could not see how they treated or how they looked at each other. However, the fact that his boss thought they were dating made something inside him itch.

“How come so? I’m sorry I misunderstood things,” She quickly apologized, afraid to have read things wrong between the boys.

“It’s alright, we this often,” The boy giggled and got back to work.

After his shift ended, Xie Lian straight up called Qingxuan to ask for help. She informed she was closing the café and that he could appear there, that way they could talk and also have a quick cup of coffee. When he arrived, Qingxuan was already waiting for him at a table with a plate with cookies and two americanos.

“Are you okay, sweetie?” She asked carefully as she saw the deep frown on his face.

“I’m- I’m confused,” The boy said, staring at his hands, not being able to look at her eyes because he knew he’d breakdown the second their gazes met.

“Is this about Hua Cheng?”

“How’d you know?” He looked at her with wide eyes, fearing that others could read him open like her.

“Because I know you. And I know him, you’re best friends and if this wasn't about him, you’d ask him first whatever this is about,” Qingxuan sipped on her cup and took a cookie to eat.

Xie Lian blushed because of his antics and took a deep breath before explaining why he was there, “The owner of the shop I work on thought we were dating today because we went for lunch together.”

The girl nodded to don’t interrupt what he was saying and to let him take his time.

“You know this happens often, but today… I- It just felt so wrong today to explain to her that we are only best friends. It’s like words got stuck on my mouth for a second, but that’s what we are. We are friends.”

Qingxuan soon understood what his internal debate was about and got up, hugging him in a way of soothing and calming him down. He sighed and reciprocated the action, feeling safe in Qingxuan’s arms.

“I’m sorry to break it to you, Lian, but you like him. That’s why it felt wrong to say you’re friends, it’s because you want something more and before you can freak out, there’s nothing wrong with that. Isn’t Hua Cheng amazing?” She asked back on the chair opposite Xie Lian, holding his hands.

“He is…” The boy whispered.

“So there is nothing to worry about, okay? Things like this happen all the time, friends can like each other,” Qingxuan gulped before diverting the topic, she knew Hua Cheng liked Xie Lian as well, but she couldn’t say that to him. It wasn’t her place. “Take some time away from him to sort out your feelings, if necessary. But, stay bright, okay? You never know, he might like you back.”

“Oh, please, why would he like someone like me? Anyways, I guess I’ll just accept what I feel and wait ‘till it fades away,” Xie Lian shrugged his shoulders and ate a cookie, reminding both of them to finish their drinks as well.

If only Xie Lian knew…

Once Hua Cheng finished his essay, which took him about an hour to do, they snuggled to watch some episodes of a new show both of them started to watch together. As Xie Lian didn’t remember the episodes, they were binge watching since the very first one. Halfway in the fifth episode, Xie Lian’s head started to ache and Hua Cheng promptly got up to take some medicine at the kitchen, taking as well a cup of water.

He didn’t worry about it that much as the doctor said it would happen with some frequency in the next few days, so he was prepared to help Xie Lian through it. Hua Cheng got back to the bedroom and gave him the pills, seeing the older shift on the bed to sleep. By the time Xie Lian was asleep, the other couldn’t do anything but overthink everything that was happening.

Anxiety started to crawl on his chest when the thought of taking advantage of Xie Lian crossed his mind, even though they did nothing beyond what they did before. They cuddled while watching movies together, they loved to hug each other even if it was for mere seconds, they were always together by nature. But, something inside him was telling him he was being an awful person doing that to his best friend. Hua Cheng hated lies, but what was he doing right now?

After a full crisis could hit him, he got up and started doing breathing exercises and went to the kitchen to drink some water. Little by little, he calmed himself down and the boy carefully went to Xie Lian’s room to pick a blanket on his wardrobe. Hua Cheng decided to sleep on the couch that day.

(...)

Hua Cheng woke up and silently thanked his older self for choosing journalism as his major. He didn’t have exams to do, he only had essays and projects to work with and his last week of classes he didn’t have actual classes, as his professors just asked for the students to submit their final worksheets on the deadline.

The younger boy went to Xie Lian’s room and checked on him, seeing he was still fast asleep. Then, he went to his own apartment to take a shower, change his clothes and grab some money before heading to Qingxuan’s café.

He wanted to buy some breakfast for both him and Xie Lian, but he also wanted to talk to his friend briefly after his almost breakdown on the night.

“Xuanie…” Hua Cheng sing songed her name, flashing a smile that she already know what it meant.

“Oh no, what do you need?” She said behind the cashier, frowning her face.

“I would like a piece of cherry cheesecake, four chocolate cookies, a mochaccino and an iced americano,” He ordered innocently and watched her write it down, looking at him in a suspicious way, “Also, I would like some advice.”

“Oh, sorry, we ran out of those last week and we won’t restock it until next year,” Qingxuan answered and went away to start preparing his beverages.

“Qingxuan, please…” The boy pleaded, puppy eyes making its way on his face.

“Fine, say it while I prepare your coffee. There’s no one at the shop right now, so we won’t be interrupted.”

“I don’t know what to do about Xie Lian and the whole husband thing. Before you yell at me, yes, I’m going to tell the truth either way, but I was thinking alone last night and I might have been taking advantage of him. I’m scared I’ll lose him after I tell the truth,” Hua Cheng sighed and felt his chest getting heavier once again, but internally, trying to calm himself down.

“Did you guys kiss?” He shook his head in a negative way, “Did you do something you didn’t do as friends before?”

“No, he just back hugged me in the kitchen briefly when I was cooking lunch yesterday, but we always hugged each other daily before,” The boy took a paper straw from the counter and put on his iced americano, taking a sip.

“Hua Cheng, I’m a hundred percent sure you won’t lose him. You are inseparable and I’m sure he’ll understand your side of the story, all you gotta do is talk to him,” She said as she put the bag with food inside in front of him, “You didn’t do anything to hurt him, neither to take advantage. Please, don’t feel guilty about it.”

Hua Cheng only murmured a thanks, paid for what he bought and took the things before he left. When he entered Xie Lian’s apartment again, he was already up, yawning and carefully going to the bathroom with his crutches. The younger giggled at the scene and drew attention to himself by the door.

“Good morning, gege. I bought us breakfast today, if you don’t mind,” He said as he headed to the kitchen and set the food on the table.

“Good morning, love. I was worried about you, I didn’t see you by my side when I woke up,” Xie Lian said after leaving the bathroom.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to wake you up. I got your favorites,” Hua Cheng let himself smile a little and put his worries aside at least to eat in peace.

Xie Lian smiled as well and sat besides him, putting his leg up on a chair because of his ankle. “Really, what would I do without you?” He leaned his head on Hua Cheng’s shoulders for five seconds after getting away and sitting properly to eat.

They ate in silence and Hua Cheng was grateful he took things off of the couch before getting out, that way Xie Lian couldn’t even suspect he slept in the living room and not by his side. When they sat down, Xie Lian started talking about his sleep.

“I think I’m getting a few things back in memory. I guess sleeping makes it easier because it feels like I lived a long dream, but it’s actually things I experienced and I’m just remembering now after a mental block,” He explained as he put his leg on the table at the center of the room.

“What did you remember, gege?” Hua Cheng asked with a hint of worry he had already discovered everything about them.

“My last memory at the hospital was Halloween, but now I remember until a little after Christmas, although I can’t remember New Year’s yet. I guess tonight I can remember at least January as we were on vacation and must have done nothing but to lazy around, right?” Xie Lian said while looking at the other.

“Uhm, gege, I have to say something,” The younger was anxious and Xie Lian noticed by the way he was fidgeting, quickly taking his hands on his own to calm him down.

“You can tell me anything, we trust each other, don’t we? I’m really looking forward to remembering how we got together, I can’t believe I had the balls to confess to you and I still don’t remember it,” The older pouted and what he said made Hua Cheng’s brain stop working for a few seconds before he could come up with something to say.

“How- What do you mean by got the balls to confess?” Hua Cheng asked, something akin to euphoria twisting inside him.

“Oh, we didn’t talk about that? I’ve been liking you since last year, around may I realized my feelings because of the old auntie from the flower shop I work. We went out for lunch one day and when I got back, she said the young love was beautiful and she was happy to see me with someone that liked me just like I liked them, but I had to deny it because we were only friends. I got really confused because it felt so wrong to say we were friends, but that’s what we were back then. After working, I went to Qingxuan to ask for advice and she said it was okay for me to feel that way and to be positive that maybe you liked me back, but I just dismissed the idea because you are way out of my league,” Xie Lian explained while looking away, a faint tint of pink adorning his cheeks.

“Ok, so many things to process, lemme take a minute,” The boy pleaded and ran a hand on his hand, his mind with so many thoughts at once it was almost giving him a headache instead. “First of all, and I already apologize for that, we are not married. I lied to get into the hospital because I was almost crying of worry about you and they only let family inside so I lied. I didn’t think they would announce who I was, neither did I think you’d believe it because we were only friends. I thought you’d find it strange and just go with the flow after realizing I was lying, but…” He trailed off and turned to look at Xie Lian who was shocked and speechless, his blush now more intense after realizing he just confessed when he never did it before to begin with. “I’m really sorry, gege, but-”

No, no, it’s okay. But, why did you make up a whole wedding scenario and- Oh my gosh! I called you pet names and hugged you and I was being clingy… Grrrr, Hua Cheng, why didn’t you stop me?” Xie Lian hid his face on his hand and was holding back some tears of embarrassment for his behaviour.

“Gege,” Hua Cheng said softly and held his hands with so much care and affection it made his heart skip a beat, “I didn’t finish speaking. Do you wanna know why Qingxuan said to be positive that I maybe liked you back?”

Xie Lian could only nod, shy to even look at Hua Cheng’s eyes, instead staring at their hands together.

“She already knew I liked you back then.”

“You what?” He asked, suddenly aware of each word he heard. “You… already liked me?”

“It surprises me that you never noticed, actually. I wasn’t being really subtle,” Now it was Hua Cheng’s turn to blush and look away while the older gasped in surprise by his side.

“Since when?”

“Since I turned nineteen…?”

“That’s- Almost two years? Hua Cheng, what the fuck?” Xie Lian slapped his shoulders, making the other laugh. “Don’t laugh, this is serious!”

“I know it’s serious! It’s because I remembered what you told me earlier,” Hua Cheng let his hand and held his face gently, making them stare at each other’s eyes. “Gege, how am I out of your league when I was the first one to fall?”

“Stop, don’t say that,” Xie Lian whined and hid his face on the younger’s shoulder, smelling the sweet scent of his perfume. His mind wandered to the day before when he back hugged Hua Cheng at the kitchen and smelled it before letting him go, the memory making the older shy.

“But that’s the truth,” Hua Cheng giggled and hugged Xie Lian. “I’m sorry I lied to you, but when I was going to deny it at the hospital, you started crying and I didn’t have the guts to dismiss it after. Also, I’m sorry if I took advantage of you at any point of the last two days, it truly wasn’t my intention.”

Hua Cheng couldn’t vanish his worries until he vocalized them in an apology to Xie Lian that was everything, but mad at him at the moment.

“To be honest, I’m the one to also apologize… I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable by the nicknames I used or something,” Xie Lian’s eyebrows creased as he stared seriously at the boy in front of him.

“Gege has nothing to apologize for, it was all my fault.”

“Ok, but now I have something to ask,” The older inquired and Hua Cheng hummed for him to say, “I told you when I realized how I felt, it’s your time to say it. It’s not fair I’m the only one to be exposed,” He pouted.

“Uhmm… I-It was on my birthday, like literally. You just planned an entire day to celebrate it and I never had any of that, you know I never really had friends or something, so I spent years doing nothing on that day. We spent the whole day together, from breakfast to almost a sleepover and the day was so amazing, even though we didn’t go out. I realized the day was amazing because I was with you and when you gave me the gift at the end of the night, I couldn’t help but think of how I wanted that moment to last longer, to have it for years and years,” At that point, Xie Lian’s eyes were already brimmed with tears and he felt his chest getting warmer at each second. “I also got a little confused and asked for Qingxuan’s help, that’s when I started looking back at our relationship and realized I liked you.”

Xie Lian started crying silently while Hua Cheng explained his feelings looking at a photo of themselves by the shelf on the wall in front of them, smiling fondly at the memory. He was surprised by the other that tackled him at the couch with a big hug, sniffling by his shoulder.

“Are you crying, gege? Please, don’t. It’s fine, we’re fine,” Hua Cheng held him closer and caressed his hair to calm him down. “It’s fine,” He whispered while he let Xie Lian take his time in his embrace.

When Xie Lian calmed down, Hua Cheng adjusted himself at the couch so he didn’t touch the older’s hurt ankle, which he complained about, but Xie Lian answered saying that was the last thing he was worrying about now.

“Your mind is really something, huh?” Xie Lian said giggling, making the other confused.

“Why?”

“The way you came up with a whole wedding scenario in a matter of seconds at the hospital,” He explained and Hua Cheng blushed, hiding his face and groaning. “Journalism is really your thing, I see.”

He took off Hua Cheng’s hands from his face and placed his lips gently on his cheeks, startling the younger by the sudden action. They both liked each other, but after the ‘we’re married’ phase it was like they were too shy to make their first real step after confessing. They were lucky Hua Cheng was impulsive and did things before thinking. The boy held Xie Lian’s face and slowly leaned in at the same time the older mirrored his actions. He stopped briefly before their lips met, letting their shaky breaths mingle together and the minimum touch of their lips make them shiver. Xie Lian was the one that stopped that excruciating torture and kissed him, their lips only touching for some seconds as if both of them were making sure they weren’t dreaming.

Xie Lian’s hand that were resting above the younger’s chest as they were still laying went up to his nape, tilting his head to kiss him deeper. The kiss progressed to something more passionate, their lips moving in tune like a dance they knew by heart. They tried to convey their feelings as much as they could by that mere touch of lips. Xie Lian got a little bold when Hua Cheng gasped when he played with his hair by the nape and his tongue poked at the younger’s mouth, asking for permission, which he was gladly given.

When their tongues touched, Hua Cheng sighed. The faint taste of cherry made its way onto his tongue from Xie Lian that had the sweet taste of the fruit. They explored each other’s mouth as their time was running out, but they only had begun. Once they ran out of breath, they parted away and Hua Cheng let a butterfly kiss on Xie Lian’s forehead, hugging him again and snuggling in closer.

Xie Liand didn’t care about the memories he lost, all he could think about was the ones he was about to make with Hua Cheng.

They were fine.