Chapter Text
"Ladies and gentlemen. Let‘s move to the less emotional and more fun part of my speech. I’m sure everyone has been waiting for this moment. How I met my best friend‘s husband! Funny and embarrassing stories about my best friend Sherlock and his lovely husband William."
William smiled and leaned over to his husband, whispering "He‘s gonna mention the birthday incident" to which Sherlock nodded, replying "Hell yes. He‘s gonna mention the bloody birthday incident."
"The first time I got to meet William was on a train and I wouldn’t even call it a meeting because we looked at each other for maybe a second. He was running around with Sherlock and I got arrested for a murder I never committed. I had blood on my suit though."
Sherlock couldn’t help but laugh at that, which got him a slap on the shoulder and an angry look from his husband.
"The second time we met was also not really a meeting but we at least said hello to each other. The story is very hilarious!
"Here we go..." Sherlock whispered and held his husband‘s hand, squeezing it tightly to show him that he’s here. They‘d go through this together.
"It was Sherlock‘s birthday. Coincidentally, he had to leave early because of a case in Doncaster, which was perfect for us because we had enough time to set the surprise party up."
Now it was William‘s turn to laugh. Coincidentally. Sure. Sherlock glanced at him, frowning. ("Why are you laughing?") Right. He never told Sherlock the story behind that case. Obviously everything was set up by him so they would meet in the train. William rolled his eyes at Sherlock desperately trying to communicate with him via telepathy but it was their wedding day so he let him have this. ("Doesn’t matter.")
"It was around 4pm when he came home. What we didn’t know at that point is that he didn’t come alone. William was with him and they were.. very inseparable. We could hear the kissing noises in Sherlock‘s bedroom, where we were hiding. Unfortunately none of us identified those noises as kissing noises so we thought Sherlock was just doing.. something weird again? It got awkward when we suddenly thought we heard another voice. It got embarrassing when we heard Sherlock say the name 'Liam'. Lestrade, who’s sitting over there"
John said and pointed at Lestrade, who peacefully minded his business until everyone looked at him.
"He had the idea to stick to our plan. Incredible idea, I can tell you that much already. We agreed that whatever we thought was going on was actually wrong because Sherlock is a weirdo sometimes. Moreover, he used to be a lonely person. It was impossible for him to come home with another person on his birthday. Oh we were so wrong about that... What happened next is obvious by now, isn’t it? We jumped out of the room, yelled 'Happy birthday Sherlock!' until we noticed that there was indeed another person. I’ve never seen Sherlock look so disappointed before though. He looked like he was ready to rip my head off!"
"I would have done it, if the others weren’t there", Sherlock whispered angrily.
"The worst part was the awkward 'surprise!' I said at the end. That’s when Sherlock looked like he would shoot me, if I said one more word. I ended up only saying 'hello' to William because as you might have guessed already... they... left. Till this day we have no idea where they went or what they did but the cake was good!"
"That‘s true!" Lestrade yelled from the other side of the room.
"The third time I met William was the first time I called it a meeting. We finally had a conversation and introduced ourselves to each other.. though he already knew who I was. It happened on a rainy day. Sherlock got sick the day before and...."
"Good morning, Sir. I.. didn’t know you’re here. You’re Sherlock‘s..... what exactly are you?"
William just came out of Sherlock‘s bedroom, wearing one of his shirts and even a pair of his pants. "William James Moriarty. I‘m Sherlock‘s lover." John choked on his own spit as he took the hand William offered him and shaked it eagerly. "John H. Watson. Sherlock‘s flatmate. It‘s nice to finally meet you. Are you here to take care of him?" "I could say the same and I‘m indeed here to take care of Sherl." Sherl? That was.. something John would have to get used to. "My brother makes amazing soup so I brought some with me. Unfortunately, it was too hot so Sherlock spit it out... that’s how I ended up having to change my clothes."
William smiled through the pain. He desperately tried to act like it was funny but damn. That day he was ready to murder Sherlock. Taking care of him was the hardest mission he ever received. He was like a big whiny angry baby.
"So every time Sherlock gets sick, I‘m just sending a telegram to William and he appears with the lovely soup made by none other than Mr. Louis, the groom‘s brother."
A quiet clapping sound came from the crime gang table on the left. Moran was sitting there, laughing to himself and clapping to appreciate his boyfriend‘s amazing soup. It really did wonders to every sick person‘s health.
"No one knows these two next stories except for Sherlock, William and me. You won’t guess what it’s about. Sherlock actually broke his ankle and his leg before. And both times William was somehow involved. The first time I had to travel all the way to Durham to pick Sherlock up and bring him home. The only thing I got as an explanation was..."
"Oh come on John!! I just tried to impress Liam. It wasn’t anything serious!" "Sherlock. I’m sitting in a train to London with you because you ran away from home without telling me and then I had to follow you because you couldn’t come home alone since you broke your ankle! What in the world has gotten into you?! Explain it or I won’t help you walk." Sherlock sighed angrily and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "It involves me, two young students and a wall. That’s all you get."
William and Sherlock lovely smiled at each other and kissed. "You were so stupid back then." "Impressing you with my stupidity is still impressing you, darling. That’s what matters."
"The second time was a little bit more embarrassing and involves alcohol. When I came into the living room that morning, all I found was a naked professor sleeping on our couch. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Sherlock was nowhere to be found."
"He screamed so loud that I woke up", William added with a grin.
"I searched in his bedroom, the bathroom. Everywhere except where he ended up laying around. The hallway. I ran downstairs to ask Miss Hudson what happened to Sherlock and there he was. He was laying on the end of the staircase, crying in pain and begging for someone to help him. It turned out that he was drunk and had the brilliant idea to go out for a walk at night. William and I agreed on never allowing Sherlock to drink again unless William is able to make sure that he won’t leave his room."
"Handcuffs! What if I handcuff you to the bed? Then you can’t run away~" William said, giggling before pressing a kiss on Sherlock‘s lips. "I know you have some. JOOOOOHN! Where are Sherlock‘s handcuffs?!"
"I was sitting next to them the whole time. They didn’t notice until I got up to give William the handcuffs. They are so annoying when they‘re drunk but they‘re also really really sweet. If I learned something from watching these idiots, then it’s that even masterminds like them say the dumbest and cheesiest things ever when drunk."
"I love you more than your neighbor on the other side of the street loves his socks."
"I love you more than the man who served us in the train last week loves his cousin."
"Now that I think about it these might not be the best examples. They‘re rather weird and I still have no idea, whether what they said is right or something they came up with. Let‘s go back to how they tend to completely ignore my existence sometimes. We were drinking a tea together, had a nice chat about our works. It was a very nice evening until they disappeared into Sherlock‘s bedroom. Five minutes later, I repeat, FIVE MINUTES LATER, I hear something that went like..."
"Sherl.. Please. More. I need MORE."
"Shh, Liam. The- Shit. The neighbors.."
"I don’t care. Please, Sherlock. Please..."
"..'f word me harder'."
William buried his red face in his husband‘s chest. The embarrassment... John really enjoyed taking revenge, huh? How was William supposed to look into his brother‘s eyes after this? Sherlock ran his finger‘s through Liam‘s soft blonde hair and whispered into his ear. "Well I think that was hot."
"Newsflash: Sherlock has a roommate and he was 3m away from you. The rest of the story is too much for the young people around us but trust me. It didn’t end like that. It ended 15minutes and thousand 'Sherlock's later. You might wonder now 'John, why didn’t you go upstairs into your room?' well... I locked myself out that day and had to sleep on Sherlock’s couch. All these stories are funny. I know. Though some were really traumatizing. However, the most memorable day for me in this crazy story was the day of their engagement. The story about how I saved Sherlock‘s life."
"What?" William quietly asked and raised his head to look at his husband. "Everything went perfect that day. It was the best proposal I could have ever asked for." "Eh... that’s because I made you sure you didn’t notice it."
"Sherlock spent a week in Durham and had the perfect proposal planned for William. There was only one problem."
"John! John!!" Miss Hudson yelled and ran upstairs with a piece of paper in her hands. "John!!! Sherlock is in danger!" John immediately jumped out of his seat and ran downstairs to meet her in the hallway. "What happened?! Isn’t he in Durham?!" "Yes but I received this telegram from him! Look!" "Let me see... HE DID WHAT?!"
"He forgot the ring . It was in his drawer. As his best friend, there was only one thing I could do. I packed the ring into my pocket and took the next train to Durham. It was easy to find out where the Moriarty‘s live but it took me a while to get there. When I arrived in Durham, it was already afternoon. There wasn’t much time left. I couldn’t contact anyone and had no idea what to do so... I broke in. I climbed through an open window that led to the kitchen. Luckily no one was in there when I fell off the windowsill. I sneaked around until I found out in which room he was staying. I put the ring on the table and climbed out of the window, leaving almost no traces behind except for the open window in Sherlock‘s guest room. This sounds crazy and weird but as his best friend I had to do it. Sherlock spent a month preparing the perfect romantic proposal for William. If I hadn’t delivered the ring in time, his efforts would have been a waste."
John turned to the couple and smiled softly at them. The way they were holding hands, staring into each other‘s love filled eyes while their smiles were brighter than the sun made him genuinely happy.
"Sherlock. There was a time where I believed that you‘d never find someone to spend the rest of your life with but when you got together with William, I immediately noticed that he was the right one. I‘ve never seen a happier person before. Ladies and gentlemen. These two men here have proven me many things but the most important thing they tought me is that love is the most beautiful thing in the world and if true love exists, then it’s their love. William. We’ve been through a lot and I don’t know what made you fall in love with this fool but you’ve awakened a side in Sherlock that made him seem like a real human. Even someone like Sherlock Holmes does stupid things for the man he loves, breaks his legs after falling down the stairs while being super drunk, spits out hot soup or forgets to take the engagement ring with him. I don’t know what kind of future awaits you but I hope that our future is full of even more embarrassing and hilarious stories because these kind of stories prove what you really are. Two idiots absolutely in love with each other."
Sherlock got up from his seat and pulled John into a tight hug. William followed him right after. The whole room let out an 'aww' before clapping. Well... everyone except Louis clapped. He was still too shocked and had to be comforted by Moran.
William pat John‘s shoulder before he sat down again and gave him one more smile. "Thank you, John."
"No, thank you for being a part of our life. Meeting you was the best that happened to Sherlock."
"Alright, John. That’s enough. I don’t want to cry again", Sherlock mumbled as he sat down again as well.
"Right! We don’t want to cry too much. There are more funny things we could talk about... like Sherlock‘s bachelor party."
"Here we go again..."