Chapter Text
Emma blew out a slow breath as The Jolly Roger sailed through the clouds, the town of Storybrooke laid out below like a Monopoly board.
How, she wondered, was she going to describe this moment in her memoirs? And hours after defeating Peter Pan and blowing up Neverland, I sailed home in a flying pirate ship to a magical town full of fairy-tale characters.
“Damn,” Regina said beside her, grimacing at the town below. “I knew it was a small town, but from this angle, it’s just depressing.”
“Just hope it’s big enough for the two of us,” Emma muttered.
“You mean, the three of us?” Regina returned dryly. “I already knew that you and I would have to share Henry, but now it looks like I have to worry about Judd Nelson over there.”
Emma followed her line of vision to the main deck, where Neal and Henry were perched on a couple of barrels, laughing. “Yeah,” she sighed. “Looks like it.”
Between no sleep and constant adrenaline, she hadn’t had the focus to give it much thought, but things were getting complicated. Way too complicated, for her maturity level. She was barely hanging onto the fact that she had to share a son with Regina, and she’d already had weeks to grapple with the idea. Factor in the reappearance of her ex-boyfriend and his readiness to be a father to the son he didn’t know he had, plus the vague whatever between the two of them, and Emma was ready to pickpocket Hook for his flask.
“I don’t think I can do this,” Emma groaned, tilting her head back. “I almost wish there was another monster waiting for us in Storybrooke, you know?”
“Not really, no,” said Regina flatly. “I’ve spent three weeks in a muddy jungle run by murderous teenagers with only the Charmings and Captain Chlamydia for company. All I want is a thorough shower and a tetanus shot.”
The ship suddenly dipped forward, angling toward the docks. “Brace yourselves!” Hook called from the helm. “We’re landing!”
Emma grabbed the side of the ship, nails digging into the wood, and threw her weight against it. She hoped it was a strong-enough hold: she was still bruised from the bumpy landing in Neverland.
“Oi! Your Majesty!” Hook shouted at Regina, who seemed to think that folding her arms and looking bored was enough to hold her center of gravity. “What part of ‘brace yourself’ did you not understand?”
“I’ll be fine,” Regina replied, not taking her eyes off the impending waves. “Just do your job, Captain. I’m sure you know how to land a ship without killing your passengers.”
Hook’s eyes widened furiously. “Regina—!”
“Regina, just grab onto something!” David said, just as Snow called, “Don’t be stubborn, not now!”
Emma didn’t know what point she was trying to make, but Regina remained with folded arms, staring down the waves. Hook muttered something about being, “so over the fucking estrogen parade”, and wrenched the helm to the side. The force of movement was enough to destabilize Regina: she stumbled, unwittingly grabbing a rope to prevent her fall. Seawater crashed against the hull of the ship, sending a shower of icy water over the sides that doused them all.
Emma coughed, choking on the seawater burning her throat. “Holy shit,” she rasped. “Holy fucking shit.” She wiped her eyes, pushing her dripping hair out of the way, and willed the wind not to blow because holy fucking shit, it was freezing.
She looked around, counting heads to make sure no one had gone overboard. David and Snow were staggering to a stand, while Neal and Henry were crawling out from behind the barrels. Rumple sat on the steps, looking annoyed as he wrung water from his hair.
“Beautiful,” he kept saying bitterly. “Absolutely beautiful.”
Regina was still clinging to the rope, thoroughly drenched, spitting out seawater. She wiped her mouth across the back of her hand and glared over her shoulder at Hook, who was untangling the chains around his neck. “You did that on purpose, didn’t you?”
“Aye!” Hook shot back. “It’s all part of my villainous plan to ruin your pantsuit!”
“Guys, come on,” Emma said exasperatedly, cutting in before the argument could take off. “It wasn’t the most graceful landing, but we got home alive, right? Let’s just be thankful we’re alive.”
“Especially with the way he drives,” Rumple muttered.
“Jesus bloody Christ—” Hook threw his arms up and began cursing under his breath.
Emma closed her eyes, feeling exhausted. Not just because she’d gone forty-eight hours without sleep, but because the mission was over, Henry was safe, and they were still fighting. The first time this happened aboard The Jolly Roger, Emma had jumped ship, hoping that her near-drowning would be enough to distract them all from arguing. It had worked, but only briefly: as soon as they hit land, they started arguing again, which had only continued the further they got into the Neverland jungle. And then they’d found Neal in the Echo Caves, and that set off a whole other round of arguments. And then they argued about the best way to save Henry, the best way to get home, and whether or not putting the rescued Lost Boys to work violated child labor laws. The arguing hadn’t stopped, not for a second, and Emma was seriously considering jumping ship again for a moment of peace.
She looked at the netted rope hanging from the mast. It was probably the best place for speech-making—she’d used it before—and it was a better option than diving over the side to get everyone’s attention. But she was so tired, and her feet had a way of getting tangled up in those nets, and really, the docks were right there—did the situation really merit a speech? Was it necessary? It didn’t feel necessary. Felt a little indulgent, to be honest.
“Swan!”
Emma’s eyes snapped open at the sound of Hook barking her name. She found him at the helm, glaring daggers at her.
“Didn’t you hear me?” he demanded. “I can’t crew this ship alone! Grab that rope and get to work, or we’ll never make port!”
Emma tensed her jaw, not appreciating his tone, but reached for the rope all the same.
“Hurry up, you mangy cur!”
Mangy cur? She half-turned with an incredulous look, but Hook was too busy shouting orders at the others to notice. He clearly missed being captain of a pirate crew because he kept saying things like, “you yellow-bellied swine!” and “you lily-livered dogs!”
“Steady now!” he called when they were closing in on the dock. “Lest you fancy a dance with Jack Ketch!”
“What does that even mean?” Snow frowned.
“It means, I’ll bloody hang you,” was his flat reply. “Get on with it, you bilge rat.”
The entire town had turned out to welcome them back, it seemed. The crowd spanned the docks, spilling down the walkways and into the road. Emma could see a few familiar faces at the forefront: Archie in his tweed suit; Blue, watching with her usual disapproval; Leroy grumbling under his breath; Granny and Ruby, who must have walked out mid-shift; and Belle, particularly visible in a bright red blazer and impressively tall heels.
With the gangplank down and the ship tied off, they were free to reunite with those they’d left behind. Snow and David practically ran off, followed closely by Rumple, who headed straight for Belle. Neal took his time, approaching his father and Belle with a mixture of shyness and mistrust. Emma would have hung back, too, if not for Henry pulling her along.
“Come on, Mom,” he urged. “Don’t be that guy.”
“What guy?” Emma asked, bemused.
“That guy who stands there and pretends they’re not a big deal,” he exhaled. “You’re a hero. Give the people what they want.”
Well, said a smug voice in the back of her head, he’s not wrong. She was a hero. Hell, ever since she’d got to Storybrooke, she’d been hero-ing left and right. Maybe it was time to rest on her laurels, at least for a bit.
“You’re right,” she said to Henry. “Let’s go.”
Regina tried not to roll her eyes as the townspeople welcomed back the Charmings with open arms. She’d elected to remain on the ship until the crowd thinned out, but that was proving to have several drawbacks: she not only had a front-seat to tearful reunions, but Hook had decided to provide commentary on it all.
“You think they really know all these people?” he asked, seated on a barrel with his feet propped up on another. “I mean, sure, we’ve all got our own crowd, but I doubt that the royals have a personal connection with everyone who turned out.”
“You’re probably right,” said Regina absently.
“Aye, I probably am,” Hook agreed. “What about you, love? Where’s your crowd?”
Regina closed her eyes, cringing at the endearment. She’d already told Hook multiple times not to call her “love”, but it seemed to be an incurable habit. “I don’t have a crowd,” she said. “I have Henry.”
Hook looked over, one eyebrow raised skeptically. “That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
“No friends?”
“No friends.”
“Not even a bloke you shag every now and again?”
“Not even a bloke, and no,” she added, raising her voice above Hook’s immediate next question, “I’m not taking applications.”
“Shame, that.” Hook folded his arms, surveying the crowd with a slight frown. “So, what happens to us? Given what they say about villains and happy endings…”
“I guess that depends on whether or not we’re still villains,” Regina shrugged. “I like to think I’ve reached a gray point in my morality. A dove gray, if I’m being optimistic.”
“I think I’m still at a charcoal,” Hook mused.
Regina’s eyes remained fixed on Henry as he detached himself from Emma’s side and wormed his way through the crowd to where Neal stood, a little apart from Belle and Rumple. Something throbbed in her chest: a little vein of jealousy that pulsed stronger when Neal ruffled Henry’s hair. Logically, she knew that Henry was Neal’s son as much as he was Emma’s as much as he was her own; but being reminded of it in such a way felt like an insult. She clenched her fists, nails biting into the palm of her hand, tension seizing her muscles—
Henry turned and smiled at her with that crooked, boyish smile she loved. The jealousy melted away instantly, leaving her thoughts void of anything but relief and gratitude. Henry was safe; home; within reach. At the end of it, that was all she cared about.
“Let’s go,” she said to Hook. “If we stay up here any longer, people are going to think we’re scheming.”
“Aye, but if we go down there, they’re likely to hang me for piracy.”
“No one’s going to hang you,” Regina exhaled, not without regret. “Unfortunately, we abandoned the old-world laws in favor of the American legal system. At most, you’d get a night or two in the town jail, but I doubt David or Emma would enforce it. After all…” She pursed her lips, giving him a measured look. “We wouldn’t have been able to find Henry without you.”
Hook raised an eyebrow. “Is that a thank you?”
“Considering that it’s your fault we lost him in the first place? Not really.” Regina stepped over his outstretched legs and began walking toward the gangplank. “Are you coming or not?”
A moment of silence; then the sound of two boots hitting the floor. “I’m not one to leave a lady unescorted,” declared Hook, catching up to her with a few long strides. “Especially not a queen.”
“Your chivalry schtick isn’t nearly as charming as you think it is.”
“It is exactly as charming as I think it is.”
Regina ignored him, and concentrated on being as invisible as possible. She knew she wasn’t winning any popularity contests, but hopefully the townspeople would keep in mind that she was on good terms with the Charmings and in desperate need of a lie-down. If that wasn’t enough to prevent a riot…well, she’d brought Hook along for a reason. He’d nearly blown up the town, last they saw him, so if anyone was getting harassed today, it was that slutty pirate.
She made her way toward Neal and Henry, intending to let them know she was going home for a hot shower and a long nap. But she’s barely gotten past, “Hello,” when David interrupted her plans with one of his princely announcements.
“We couldn’t have done it without Regina,” he intoned, his gaze filled with respect and admiration. “She saved us all, more than once.”
“What?”
“Her?”
“Never!”
Two thousand pairs of eyes stared at her as the crowd exchanged whispers of astonishment and disbelief. A few feeble attempts at applause dissipated when it was clear that this was not going to be one of those inspirational public spectacles. Regina raised her eyes skyward, silently cursing David and his goddamn nobility.
“Why would she ever help anyone, but herself?” Leroy scowled, arms folded over his broad chest. “She’s the Evil Queen!”
“Oh, blow me,” Regina said witheringly
“It’s the truth!” Snow addressed the crowd, her voice rising with emotion.“She’s not the Evil Queen anymore!” She looked at Regina, her eyes warm and forgiving, a soft smile on her lips. “She’s a hero.”
A thick silence fell like a curtain. For a moment, the world was completely still.
“A hero.” Hook scoffed. “Right. And I’m the bloody Virgin.”
Whether he did it as a favor to her or just to be an ass, Regina wasn’t sure; but she was grateful all the same. Everyone lost interest in staring at her in favor of glaring at Hook, their voices rising in malcontent and accusations.
“Lousy bastard!”
“Double-crossing son of a—”
“Pirate!”
“Everyone says ‘pirate’ like it’s the worst possible insult they can think of,” Hook objected, raising his voice over the cacophony. “I’m embarrassed for all of you.”
“And on that note—” Regina turned back to Neal and Henry as the townsfolk started shouting out insults of varying offensiveness. “People are still a bit, mmm…uncomfortable around me, so I think I’m going to head home. It’s better if I’m not here.”
“You’re leaving?” Henry knit his brow, looking both confused and disappointed. “But what about the party at Granny’s?”
“I’ll sit this one out,” Regina smiled, smoothing back Henry’s hair. He impatiently moved his head out of reach.
“You have to come,” he protested. “Everyone’s finally getting along.”
“Even so,” she shrugged, “I don’t think anyone really wants me there. Not after everything.” Everything, meaning the curse that lasted for 28 years, the reign of cruelty that had preceded it, and the recent plot with her now-dead mother to destroy Storybrooke. She would have swallowed glass before admitting it, but Regina thought the town was right to regard her with suspicion and wariness, considering her track record.
“I want you there,” Henry insisted. “Please, Mom?”
Regina blinked. He wanted her there. Henry had never wanted her for anything: not for the first ten years of his life, and certainly not after he’d found Emma. “I…guess I could stay for a little,” she said finally. “If that’s what you want.”
Henry smiled. “That’s what I want.”