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“Killian?” Emma whispered at the silhouette lying beside her, hoping that he was at least awake enough to talk her down.
He always had a knack for that. His wisdom and sureness guided her through some of the most chaotic times of her life. He was her anchor when she needed one the most.
Except, it wasn’t really a significant issue standing in her way. At least not in the way they had become accustomed to.
It was just kindergarten, and the fact that they would be sending Hope there the next morning.
Well, technically, later that day.
“Are you up?” She pressed when he didn’t answer.
“No,” he grumbled from his side of the bed. “You’re speaking to his astral being. Feel free to leave a message.”
“You’re a jerk,” Emma lightly jabbed his back with her fingers.
“Jerk, scoundrel. It’s all the same, I suppose,” he groaned as he turned on his side to face her, “What is it, love?”
Emma hesitated a moment before replying, “Can’t we just homeschool her?”
“Ah, yes. Your mother wouldn’t bristle at all at the idea of her granddaughter being homeschooled by a reformed pirate.”
“Fine. Look, I know I’m being dramatic right now, and that’s usually your job, but this is a big step,” she dropped her voice to a low whisper, “I’m not ready to let her go.”
Killian let out a light laugh, “Well, the good news is that she’s only five, and I’m not too familiar with this education system, but I’m positive we get her back at the end of every day.”
“I know that,” she rolled her eyes, “but I can’t shake the feeling that this is where the whole growing up thing really begins.”
She missed all of it with Henry. No first steps or words; she had hardly experienced first anything’s. Even the fake memories of the life Regina fabricated for them had faded over the years as the real ones took their rightful place. She was painfully aware that by the time he found her, he had already done half of his growing.
And still, she had thought he had grown fast.
The next two were already hitting her like a truck.
Maybe that was the source of her panic. She finally got another shot, two even, at being a mother from the very start, and time seemed hellbent ticking as fast as it possibly could.
“I know what you mean,” Killian covered her hand with his. “They’re both growing quickly.”
“Exactly! She was just born, like, yesterday, and now we’re going to be taking turns packing a lunch box. I mean, when the hell did that happen?” She didn’t wait for him to answer, “Next thing we know, it’s high school, then off to college or who knows where if she’s anything like her brother, and suddenly, she’s getting married if that’s even a thing she wants to do. And then we’ll just have to do it all over again with Westley. How are we sup–”
“Slow down, Swan, easy now. You’re going to run out of oxygen.” Killian laughed, placing his hand gently on her mouth, “Everything is going to be just fine, love.”
Emma eyed him, “You’re always so sure when you say stuff like that, how do you know?”
His smile was visible in the dim light of their room, “Well, that bloody clock is going to turn whether we stress it or not, but they’re always going to need us to support them, and we’re always going to be there. The type of support will change, but you know as well as anyone that this family does not let go, not never.” Killian let out a light laugh, “Plus, we’re wide awake in the early morning panicking over our little girl’s kindergarten endeavors; I’d say we have her best interest at heart.”
She let the weight of his words settle, letting her thoughts wander to her parents. Twenty-eight years without knowing them, and she still needed them. In her soul, she knew she always would.
Maybe she was jumping the gun a little bit.
“I know, I know. You’re a hundred percent right. I’m getting way too ahead of myself right now.” Emma sighed, “Any ideas on how we can slow it down, though?”
“Perhaps a curse?” He asked with a chuckle, “In my experience, that usually does the trick. Oh, or we can move to another corner of the realm. One that has different rules and such.”
“Don’t push me. I might consider it.”
“As if you need any pushing.”
She laughed as he accomplished exactly what she knew he would. Killian reached out, giving her the opening to shuffle closer and curl into him. Enveloped in the warmth he provided, calmness rushed over her as she tried to let the sound of his breathing lull her off to sleep.
Killian put that to an end not long after, “Do you think she’ll cry?”
“I don’t know,” Emma sighed, turning the thought over in her head, “but what if she doesn’t? I feel like that’s even worse.”
“Then I say we begin charging her rent if she cares that little for us,” Killian scoffed.
“I hope you’re willing to accept Goldfish as a form of payment,” she played back.
“There was once a day where I wouldn’t have, but I have to admit those little crackers are quite good.”
“From real gold to Goldfish, who would have thought?”
Killian’s laughter rumbled from deep in his chest, “Certainly not me.”
“That begs the question,” Emma clicked her tongue, “are you gonna cry?”
He guffawed, “I will do no such thing.”
“Oh, you totally will,” she propped herself up on her elbow just to get a better look at his face. “Here I am, in a complete panic, and yet, I still know you’re the one who’s going to be inconsolable.”
“Is that so?”
“Yup, I’m going to have to peel you off the pavement. I already know it.”
“Have you suddenly developed a power to see the future that you haven’t told me about?”
“No,” Emma shook her head, “I just know my husband. The fact that you’re a big baby definitely spells out trouble when we send our baby to her first day of school.”
“Sure, wake me up in the middle of the night just to mock my sensitivities,” Killian chuckled, pointing a stern finger at her. “But you’ve got another thing coming, Swan. Not one tear will fall from either of these eyes.”
“Mhm,” she hummed.
“I’m serious.”
“Sure.”
“I refuse to do this at this hour.”
“Sounds like I win, then.”
“You are maddening,” he rolled his eyes with a smirk.
“Yeah,” Emma smiled back, running her hand along his cheek, “but you chose me.”
“That I did,” Killian laughed, “and I would do it again. Sleep deprivation and all.”
That was one thing she would never tire of hearing.
“Thank you.“ She let out a content sigh, “I love you.”
“And I love you. Always. Now, try to get some sleep, love. You’ll need the energy if you’re going to ‘peel me off the pavement.’”
Emma chuckled, letting Killian roll onto his back. She quickly took the opportunity to move her head to his chest, entwining her fingers and legs with his.
No matter how much time had passed, she still found it almost hard to believe that the peace she spent decades looking for laid in bed next to her every night.
Yet, there he was, his heart beating strong and steady under her head.
“I may cry,” Killian whispered at her after she had settled, “just a tad.”
She didn’t bother to say she told him so.
That was what tomorrow would be for.