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At first it had been denial. Adrian Everhart had not died. Her sweet, strong, caring boyfriend was not dead, and it wasn’t her fault. Truly, it hadn’t been her fault, but she would always blame herself. Nova had done so much wrong in her lifetime, and he had been the only one to see the good in her. Now, no one would see the good in her. Never again. She would always be known as Nova Artino, Ace Anarchy’s niece.
Next there was just pure despair. Adrian was gone, and there was nothing she could do. It had been hard for her to even function and do normal things like brush her teeth or get dressed. She just wanted to stay in bed, listen to sad music and do nothing with her life.
It was hard to look at Hugh and Simon. It was even hard to look at Max. What was she supposed to say? Hey! I’m sorry your son died and I feel responsible for it! There was no way. All she wanted was for Adrian to come back. Part of her thought that if she did, all her problems would kind of just disappear. But there was so such luck. He truly was gone and he wasn’t coming back.
One particular morning, it hurt more than usual. There were unread texts on her phone and she didn’t intend to read them. She was still in her clothes from yesterday, and she didn’t intend to change them.
“Adrian,” She sighed, almost wondering what was wrong with herself. She had never been like this before. She had never felt the pure despair she was feeling now, and even living with the Anarchists she had never felt this depressed. And Adrian Everhart was the only one who could help. “Listen, I kind of feel like I failed you. And if you were here, you’d tell me I didn’t fail you, and that everything’s alright. But the problem is that you aren’t here, and that’s why I’m not being told I’m alright.”
“This is probably really dumb and I know that you aren’t here or with me and if you are with someone it’s probably Max because you know why?” Her tone started to get aggressive and tears dripped down her face. It wasn’t the first time she had cried recently. “Because you were so compassionate and kind towards him. And now, he can be with people without a glass wall and full-body protection suits. I only wish you could be here to see him.”
In her crazed state, she had stood up. Slowly, she sat down, burying her face in her hands. She wanted to stay there forever.
Unable to speak more, she let the music do its job. Since the battle, she had been letting it take her away. It reassured her in ways words never could, and held her the same way he had. Without music, she would be nothing. Simply nothing. Her soul would have already caved, and though she was alive, she would have been a ghost.
A few songs in, she was awakened with a new memory. The song was an instrumental, slow, soft and beautiful. It was so similar to the song that had played at the Gala, which seemed to have been years ago. Still, she remembered it like it was yesterday.
They had both been young, dumb and new to love. She had been awkward on the dance floor, and so had he. But there had been a connection there stronger than what she had felt with Narcissa. And she knew now, that it had been love. She had been purely in love with Adrian Everhart, as he had been with her.
Trying to stand, she whipped the tears from her cheeks and dried her eyes. Slowly, she tried dancing around the dimly-lit room. At first it seemed awkward, she was just dancing by herself, to a song that made her feel lost in time. But by the end of the song, she was not dancing by herself. Adrian was there with her, just as he had been before.
Slowly, the music ended. She didn’t feel perfect. A dance could never heal all she had been through. But she felt better and that helped. And as her lips formed a smile, she swore she could feel Adrian smiling back at her.