Work Text:
The silence is defeating. Once we couldn’t get enough time to speak our minds and now? Now we fail in the most basic human aspect. We’ve failed in communicating and even though we tried to use words we just hadn’t listened.
There was a time when the silence encompassing us was something precious. As we could spend all these hours just being next to each other, without uttering a single word. It was marvellous. To just feel. To not have to articulate all these warped emotions swirling inside me. It felt liberating.
And now? Now we are scared to voice anything.
I’m not sure if I prefer the charged with unspoken words quietness or rushed with angry insults rows.
I look at you, my question hanging heavy in the air between us and your hesitation speaks louder to me than a million words per minute. I can’t stop thinking that somewhere along the way we’ve made a mistake and now we can’t find the way out.
You’re grasping to find proper words, hesitating to say anything that would be definite. Final . But that strange sort of silence tells me more than any of the words you could articulate. And I don’t need to hear anything else. Because I know. Because that silence tells me everything. The buzzing around me my final answer.
I can feel how my head shifts, nodding. I can feel how my legs move, leaving you behind. I never imagined myself doing that. Because I believed so strongly in our love that I couldn’t even envisage our love crumbling under the heavyweight of expectations, pressure and people’s talk. I should’ve been wiser. Yeah, should’ve known better this time. Work harder perhaps.
I grip the door frame until my knuckles turn white. I can feel tears crippling against my eyelids. I breathe deeply and before I can think twice I turn around and in two huge strides come close, grasp you by your curls and pull into a bruising kiss.
The last one , my mind unhelpfully supplies.
I pull away, you look at me, sad and undecided. And that breaks me even more. Because I thought —
But it doesn’t matter anymore. It just doesn’t. I let you slip away, getting back to the door.
I don’t know what I will do once I will leave this place. But I don’t have the strength to think about it now. I’m barely able to open the door and close them behind me. The soft click reverberating in my ears.
I never knew this would be the sound of our end.